The Band of Brothers and their Jem
by redheadclover
Summary: Jemima Leigbott is Joseph Liebgott's twin sister, and they both are in the army. As a nurse with a disability and a fragile soul, Jemima wants to prove her worth on and off the battlefield with Easy Company. She has a lot to prove and with a Louisiana combat medic named Roe catching her heart, is she able to show what she's capable of to both the men of Easy and herself? (Roe X OC)
1. Chapter 1

**1942**

"Don't cry, _mutter_." my brother said to my mother as we both stood at the front door on the porch, bags in hand as we were about to leave her and my father for the war. It was a sunny morning in San Francisco, the warm sun beating down on our necks as out father was waiting for us in the car on the street, though a part of me had a dramatic question.

What in the hell was I doing?

My name is Jemima Liebgott, though my nickname is Jemmie with my family or sometimes they call me Jenny. I was named after a woman in the bible in the book of Job, well that's what my own mother told me. Although we were raised Catholic, my parents were Jews from Austria. They fled to America right after they were married, nearly missing World War One and making a home for themselves in Michigan as soon as Joe and I were born. But after that, my parents were being lightly threatened by their neighbors and fellow factory workers, only because they were from Europe in the time of war. That made them move here to San Francisco, where Joe and I grew up along with four younger siblings. Our house was filled with the German Language since my parents were born into it, along with laughter and joy for our house of 6.

You see, Joe and I are twins.

Fraternal twins really. We were always together through thick and thin, playing together with our vivid imaginations and thirst for adventure with our younger siblings. Even as we were growing up we had the knack for seeking out things that were new around us. Joe was the second half of me, I was the second half of him. We were the fastest children on our street, being able to outrun anyone of the other kids when it came to a foot race. That was another thing about me, I loved to run. Even in high school I was the fastest on the team that we had, something else that was unique about me really. I ran fast.

Very fast.

But as we grew older, we were developing our own personalities and how we viewed the world. Although we had the same nose and hair color, the same eyes and cheeks, we were very much different but also very much similar.

Joe was more prideful in his Jewish blood. I too was proud to be a Jew, there was no doubt, but Joe was willing to fight for his bloodline. It resulted in him getting into fights one too many times at school and even on the streets, but he was never to back down from one. At first I would try to break up the fights, and at first he listened to me. But it wore off soon enough, and I had enough of trying to protection him over something as stupid and idiotic as someone's blood. For me, it wasn't worth fighting for since it took too much energy.

I would hear my mother and father scold him when he would come home freshly battered and broken from a recent fight he was in, and I would sit on the top of the steps for him, seeing him stand at the foot of the steps and look up at me. Every time I would just smile at him, knowing that he did not need to hear from me about the decency of fighting others. One instance was when we were 17, one early night with me on the top step with my arms on my knees and I saw him look up at me with one black eye and a busted lower lip from the fight that day.

"_Wie schlimm_?" (_How bad_ ) I asked him softly as he walked up the steps one by one, his feet heavy and his head was too heavy with the new battle scars.

"_Ich werde leben_." (I'll live) He grumbled to me as he met me on the steps. He was always this way when it came to his pride: never once showing an ounce of weakness or pain.

I, on the other hand, was too kind and too brash to be a fighter. When we were teenagers I was drawn to the career of medicine, and since I was good enough to numbers and how science worked at school, medicine was the next best thing for me to work with. I had no need for boys, since they were all afraid of my brother and his brash fighting methods, and there was nothing to do in town other than read the occasional book and listen to music. Medicine was more of a challenge for me to learn, something that grabbed my attention hours on end. But I too wanted to learn more about medicine for a personal reason.

Very personal, since I have seizures.

It's acute Epilepsy, something I was born with because of a birthing scare. When I was born, being the youngest, I had a lack of oxygen going through me for a few minutes before I was condemned fine. Because of that, I was diagnosed with Epilepsy, having my first seizure when I was only 3 months old. Since then, I was a walking fragile vase in my mother and father's eyes. I had to be calm at all time, since any kind of stress or traumatic event would result in a seizure that could last anywhere between a few seconds to mere minutes. The doctors called it a miracle that I survived the lack of oxygen when I was born, and now I had to live with the after effect of it.

My family was protective of me because of it. Especially Joe, who would look after me more than I would want from him. He was the older brother I wish I never had, looking over at me every other second when we were young after I was having a stressful day, waiting to me to have my nosebleed and then past out cold on the ground into a seizure. He's seen my seizures, even the ones when we were in grade school when I could fall to the floor on the playground, blood pouring from my nose and my mind was swiped blank. If there was one person I would trust with my condition with my life, it was my brother.

So it was funny when we both joined the army at the age of 27.

By this time, I was one of the best nurses at St. Anthony's hospital that was right down the street from our house. At first I was looked at differently because of the condition, the Head Nurses and doctors weren't convinced that I was up to par with them and the routines that would happen. But within a few weeks, I blew them out of the water with how fast I would go from patient to patient, learning new diseases and how to cure them. I never once missed work, nor did I have a huge seizure where they would have to fire me. I was in control, I was never going to back down from what they were throwing at me. This was what I wanted in my life: to look at medicine long enough to find my own cure.

Since Joe and I graduated high school, we both became working class citizens: Joe working for the cab company and myself going into the nursing program at the hospital. We first were doing his to get more money in, since we had 4 younger siblings to help feed as my mother was a homemaker and my father worked as a barber. Joe and I didn't mind our jobs, hell I loved my own job since I was getting more and more experience in the field of medicine. By the time I was 22 years old, I became a full-time nurse and one of the best ones, according to my boss.

Life was simple for the both of us, though Joe was more prone to being around girls and having a good night life when I was prone to reading my books and going to small pubs with my very close girlfriends. I wasn't a loner, but I wasn't as flamboyant with my adult like as Joe was. It was nice, and my seizures were very very minimal compared to the ones in the childhood. I would take pills for them, helping me calm down and keep my brain in check.

The last seizure I had before I had gone off to war was 6 months beforehand, when I forgot to take my medicine the night before. I had no idea who I ended up on the floor next to my bed, since my vision was shot and I had no idea where I was for a solid second or two. But I woke up with my brother's hands on my face, my head on his lap and blood going down my chin from my nose and soaking my nightgown that I was wearing. I could feel my hands shaking from the seizure that I was recovering from, though my mind was coming back to reality from being blank for so long.

But now that we both signed up for the army, and I was cleared medically since I had medication to take with me on the job, I was only thinking that I would be in the hospitals nearby the Army. not even getting close to the field. When I was approved, they only had me down as a nurse, which was fine in my book.

Joe tried to talk me out of it since he didn't think I could handle it really. Leave it to Joe to be the older productive brother and wanting me to be safe, but I too was his sister, which meant I was just as stubborn as him. The army was the next best thing for me, since every time I would look back at my house. All I saw, seeing the house and all of that I went through in there, were old memories of my past demons with my disability and my meekness.

But I had something to prove.

When it came to pride, I had too much of it. It was a different pride that Joe had, not the pride of my blood. But it was pride of what I had that was going on in my brain that made me want to prove that I could go beyond the call of duty when it came to service. I was already good enough being a nurse in a regular hospital, but this was completely different. This was the army, and to show everyone or anyone that someone with epilepsy can be just as strong as those who are healthy.

Healthy. Someone I never thought I was.

So, with proper reassurance to my parents, I was sent off to Camp Toccoa with my brother and we were about to start something new with our lives. Joe did it because it was his civil duty, but I did to show that I could be a nurse in any kind of situation. I only smiled as my mother kissed both of Joe's cheeks. She kissed me too, making sure that I would remember her kisses and how they felt against my cheeks.

My father drove us to the train station, which made it more real to me as my father hugged me close, having me hug him back and try to engrave the feeling of my father's hug on me. For who knew if I was going to come back home again.

"S_icher, Augensten_." (Be safe, apple of my eye) My father murmured into my hair as I pulled away to see his face. Hr was 21 when he had Joe and I, and now he was close to 50 yet he still looked so handsome.

"_Ich _werde, _Vater _." (I will, father) I replied back with a smile still there on my face. Joe and I got on the train together, watching out father and the station pull away from us as the train went onto out next destination. Our lives in San Francisco were about to come to an end, forever ending, and we were about to start a new life in the army. We sat in a carriage together, looking out into the distance as San Francisco was now a piece of memory for the both of us.

"You still convinced you made the right choice?" Joe asked me, sitting across from me as I was looking back at him with my brown eyes.

"You think I didn't?" I asked him back, seeing him titled his head at me as if he was trying to read my mind.

"I think you could have done something else with your life other than this." Joe explained calmly, but with a hint of arrogance in his voice since he clearly did not want me to join the army. I didn't know whether it was because he didn't want me with him or to have me protected. But in my mind, I had one goal.

"I know what I'm doing, Joe." I said back to him, but he did not like what he was hearing.

"Come on, Jemmie. What if you have another seizure and I can't be there to help you?" He asked me, leaning a bit in his seat in the carriage.

"I can handle anything that does come, Joe. The last one I had was 6 months ago, and I haven't had on episode since," I informed him, "Don't you think I can handle one more seizure without you holding my hand?" Joe rolled his eyes then, leaning back on his seat and looking out the window to avoid my glare at him.

"You know that's not what I meant." he argued with me, having me nod my head slowly.

"I know that. I just don't want to be seen as weak anymore." I explained, seeing him now look at me with shock on his face, though his lips and eyes remained cool I knew that he was shocked from what I said to him.

"Who called ya weak?" He asked me in a low tone, having me look away from him and see the rolling scenery past us in a fast pace and the sun hitting my face.

"No one did, but I can see it in their eyes when they look at me." I said back in return. But Joe shook his head as I ran my fingers in my golden brown hair and leaned back with my head against the rest behind me.

"I don't think you're weak. You know that, Jemmie. I just want to make sure you really know what you're doing, going into the war." Joe explained to me calmly, having me loo back at him and seeing a solemn look on his face. He was scared for me, thinking I made the wrong choice of going into the army as a nurse. Though it was less dangerous than him being a soldier, there was still a risk that I was willing to take. I was not going to let a disease that I had held me back from what I wanted to do: save lives and be a better person in his world.

"I know what I'm doing."


	2. Chapter 2

"Jemima Liegbott?" I looked behind me while I was in the nurses tent, my hair in a long dutch braid, the brown shades were light in the sun that was in the room as I looked to see why I was called, and who was calling me. This was my third day at Camp Toccoa, and after getting settled in with the camp and my position as a nurse, Joe was off with Easy Company as one of their privates, having me hardly see him. But we would smile and nod at each other, not having time to talk with one another and see how the other was doing with their day because of our busy schedule.

Two men came into the nurses cabin, which was filled with cots and other medical equipment that was set up. I met a couple of the nurses already, some of them were just as young as me and just as wide-eyed about the whole situation we were in. The two men weren't privates, but they weren't captains. Not from what I could see.

"Yes sir." I replied, seeing the both of them stop in front of me and give me a short salute. I saluted back, feeling a bit off since I was in my nursing uniform and they were in their training clothes. One of them was taller, red hair trimmed to the side and a gentle face that had crystal blue eyes. The other had black hair and brown eyes, though his face looked a bit rougher and more intense.

"I'm Dick Winters, 2nd lieutenant of Easy Company. This is Lewis Nixon, also 2nd lieutenant." The redhead introduced himself and the other man, having me smile at the both of them.

"How do you do." I replied back to the both of them.

"We were told to bring you to see Colonel Sink." He explained to me in a soft tone, not even making me feel threatened at all. I took in a deep breath, nodding my head and then smoothing out my uniform before I followed them both out of the nurse's cabin and into the bright sunlight. Why would Colonel Sink want to see me now? I never met the man, but I did hear that he was a tough Colonel to deal with in the first place. I was only here to be a nurse and to learn the ropes of a nurse, that was basically it. Did he know about my epilepsy? Was he going to kick me out of the army because of it? What in the hell?

"So, you're Joseph Liebgott's sister?" Nixon asked me aloud, his voice was gruffer that Winter's voice as I walked in between the both of them as if they were escorting me while we were talking across the lawn.

"HIs twin sister." I replied back to him calmly, having me now think that this has something to do with Joe and how we were siblings? Was it allowed to have siblings in the army? Was that even a rule?

"HIs twin, eh? You do kind of look like him." Nixon commented casually, having me grin from hearing now smooth it sounded coming from him.

"We have the same nose." I commented aloud in a smirk, having me then hear Winters chuckle.

"And apparently the same sense of humor." Winters added, having me smile even more as we were heading over to Colonel Cabin. I looked around me for a second, having me see plenty of other new recruits with their companies and all of them going through their drills and rundowns. Was Joe in these somewhere with his own Company? I couldn't find him with my eyes, having me a bit worried as I looked forward once more when we were getting close to the cabin.

"If you don't me asking, sir, is there something that I did?" I asked Winters aloud in wonder and with a hint of worry in my voice.

"I doubt you're in trouble since this is only your second day." Nixon answered for him as we then approached the porch to the cabin, having me still think about the reason why I would be there. My mind was going at 50 miles per hours as they opened the door for me, having me slowly walk in with my hands behind my back and my eyes in front of me. I was inside the Colonel's Cabin, walking in a bit and then following Winters and Nixon as they lead me down the aisle to the other end of the cabin that had the door. I knew behind the door was Colonel Sink, and knowing that made me think that I was about to into the Principal's office at my school for doing something that I might have done.

Nixon knocked on the door, having us hear nothing but then someone asking us to come in. He opened the door for me, having me walk in and see Colonel Sink behind his own desk, writing papers and signing documents. I felt afraid then, not knowing what to do or say.

"Nurse Jemima Liegbott, as requested sir." Winters said aloud to Sink. Sink looked up at me, dropping his pin and then folding his hands on the desk.

"Please, have a seat Nurse Liebgott." He said to me in a kind voice, having me carefully walk over to the seat in front of me and sit down slowly, keeping my eyes on him.

"I called you here to discuss something that we found on your application coming into the army." He explained, having me freeze in my spot and watch him before he answered. He knew: my epilepsy. He knew about it and was going to punish me for not clearly stating it. I thought I did, also getting it cleared from the army physicians.

"It says here that you speak German." I sighed in relief in front of him, feeling as though some kind of weight was taken off of my shoulders.

"Yes sir." I replied automatically, seeing him looked down at the pile of papers that were in on his desk.

"You learned the language?" he asked me, having me see that the papers that were on his desk were about me: me application and my transcripts.

"From my parents sir. They're from Austria by birth." I explained to him as he then nodded his head, clearly liking what he was hearing. He then got up from his spot at the desk, walking around it and placing his hands behind his back and he got over to stand right in front of me, though my own hands were folded on my lap and my eyes never leaving his.

"According to your records you are being trained here as a nurse, which is fine by me because we are in dire need of more nurses. However, because you are completely fluent in German and we have two other German-speaking soldiers in Easy Company, including your brother Private Joseph Liebgott, I am going to consider moving you to Easy Company as their translator for negotiations and affairs." I looked at him in shock now, thinking that something like this is not possible for a female in the army. Did they want me as a translator? They had two others in the Company who can speak German, including my own twin brother. But why me?

"You want me as the sole translator, sir?" I tried to word it out to make sure that it was correct. Sink nodded his head.

"Not only as our translator, but a translator that is also a medic." I was more confused about the whole thin now as he went on, "You are here to be a nurse, that much is going to be certain. But I did look at the application and references that came with your paperwork from your previous hospital that you worked at, and they highly recommended you beyond the line of basic nursing work." I knew my old job would want to say that about me, made me kind of hate them at the moment for being out in front of Colonel Sink and being appreciated. If there was one thing that I did hate too: being in the limelight. I was never one for gloating about what I have done in my life.

"I would be honored to have that opportunity sir." I thanked him, not wanting to be rude in front of him and the other men that were still there in the office.

"I am highly considering you to be one of our combat medics, since we have two others in Easy Company, but for right now I want to see what you can do as one of our nurses. if you meet my expectations, then I can have you trained with Easy Company." There was a small sense of accomplishment that was coming over me from hearing this from Colonel Sink, of all people. He wanted me to a combat nurse for Easy Company, but he was not going to let me get there easily. This was basically a challenge, a huge one that I was not going to look down from or turn away from.

"Thank you, sir." I thanked him with a small smile on my face.

"I will have 2nd Lieutenant Winters check in on you and make sure you are doing well with the nursing training. And if you are convincing enough for him, then you can be promoted to combat nurse training." Colonel explained to me, having me nod my head. This was going to be new to me since I was only here for two days and I was still trying to find my own footing throughout the whole nursing situation. Was this moving too fast for me? Was I ready for this new obstacle? Why wouldn't I?

"Yes sir."

* * *

><p>"Where are you from?" Alice asked me as we were standing side by side in the nursing cabin, dressing some beds before we were going to go to another meeting with the other nurses. The sun was going down on Camp Toccoa, and I was already down with my training session for the day with some of the other nurses that were new like me. We talked about the dressing protocol for wounds that were both minor and major and how to treat them effectively: child's play for me.<p>

"San Francisco." I replied back to her, looking over at her to my left and seeing her golden hair in a tight bun behind her, as well as my own hair was in a bun since that was called for in nurses training. But some of my own bangs were down and near my eyes since they were too short for being in my high bun.

"I have never been there, though I wish I could go," Alice explained to me," I'm just from Salem, Oregon. Where it rains all the time." I grinned from hearing her childish nature with her kind face and heart. Alice was just as young as I was, a beautiful young woman who looked like an angel amongst the sea of men here in Camp Toccoa. I could already see some of the men look at her with a glint in their eye, having me look plain in comparison to her though her heart was far too good and kind.

"So you wanted to get our of the rain by joining the army?" I asked her in curiosity as I turned down another bed next to her, Alice fluffing the pillows and pulling the sheets tight to make it look like they were in tip top shape.

"Pretty much, and my mother is convinced that I can find a husband here in the army," Alice explained some more, having me hear her giggle from the mere thought and I smiled, getting the pillow ready on the cot that I was fixing and then looking over my shoulder at her, "Honestly, my own father was embarrassed that my mother thought of that for me."

"You don't have a boyfriend yourself?" I asked her in curiosity, really thinking that she was far too pretty and kind to be single.

"I just haven't found the right one for me. There are no guys that really have caught my eye yet. And who knows, maybe there's a guy here for me, and you too." Alice suggested, shrugging to me as she pointed at me from the last part. I shook my head, waving her off in a playful way.

"Doubtful." I replied, seeing him look at me in confusion.

"Oh, come on, Jemima. You're pretty, very much so and I think you're just as kind. There must be some guy here that would be worth your while." Alice suggested some more, having me still think it was beyond crazy as we met up in the middle of the rows of beds.

"It won't happen here, Alice. As much as it sounds great, I doubt my brother would want me to have some guy fawn over me here. If that were to happen, then he would end up with a fat lip thanks to Joe." I explained to her in a honest tone. It was true: my own brother would look out for me to the point of any other guy who would look my way would run in the other direction. Sometimes I didn't mind it, but other times it was a burden. But before Alice would argue with me, we heard the door opening at the front of the cabin and we both looked, having me see someone walk in with a private uniform on, but there was a medical cross on the arm. It was a combat medic, someone whom I haven't met yet and he was looking right at me.

"Hello, sir." Alice said aloud atomically, having me only watch as the person walked forward and having me notice that it was hard to see his face since the light was shining right behind him and blocking out the sight of his face. But as soon as he was close enough, I saw his face finally. He had black thin hair, thin lips, and dark inviting eyes that had a small shade of bue. Something about seeing how he was looking at the both of us, almost as if he was too shy to be in front of us, had me more intrigued by him and drawn to him. The other men here, including my brother, were far more confident and brooding when it came to looks and how they carried themselves. But this man and I only just saw him and not spoke to him, carried himself in another way.

"Hello, ma'am." He said to Alice, a think Louisiana accent was coming from his thin lips have it sound to low and so soothing in the cabin. He then looked over at me, having me suddenly smile at him because him looking at me want to smile.

"I was wonderin' if I could grab some supplies for my combat medic training, along with Private Spina from Easy Company." He explained to the both of me though most of the time he was looking at me as if he suddenly got lost in a busy street. I nodded my head, folding my hands in front of me to show that I too was soothing to talk to.

"Of course, I can show you if you want." I said without even thinking about, without even having a moment to consider helping it. Both the man and Alice looked at me in a bit of a shock on their face. Though there was a look of happiness within her smile at me, having me grimace a bit on the inside and wonder if I was going to be teased later.

"Thank you, ma'am." He thanked me, having me grin at him as he walked over to me, following me as I lead him back to the end of the chain where we had our supplies. For the first time in my life, being in front of a man who looked pretty harmless and less of a threat seas scary to me. Something about his eyes, how he was holding himself in his stance, made him feel safe and that nothing was going to be bad around him. I never felt that around any other guy, and I just barely talked to him.

"What is it that you need?" I asked him politely as we were back by the shelves that held all of our supplies. He looked at the shelf as if he was a child lost in a store: wide eyes and with confusion. It must have looked too much for him, but I waited patiently for him as he was trying to find the right tools and supplies.

"I…huh…need some bandages and plasma." He explained to me, having me gracefully walk over to the shelves that had both of them and pulling them out, walking over and holding them out in front of me to him, as if I was having a peace offering.

"Here." I said to him, seeing him open the satchel that he was wearing and them take the items carefully from my hands. Maybe he thought that doing it carefully would be kind enough.

"Thank you, Ma'am." He thanked me, a small smile on his face as he said this to me, though I shook my head at him.

"You can call me Jemima." I explained, then cringing a bit. I was never once not ashamed of my name and how it sounded, but why was I ashamed of it now?

"Jemima?" He asked me, his voice sounded a bit higher than usual, as if he was trying to say it right. I sighed, nodding my head.

"Yes, but you can call me Jenny if you want to." I suggested to him, then seeing a small smile on his face. That smile lit up the whole room from what I saw, having me suddenly feel so warm all over my insides that it made me lose my breath for a second. That smile, to me, was, in fact, pure satisfaction that he must of felt then and there.

"I'm Eugene." He said to me suddenly, having me smile widely at him as I held out my hand for him to shake. He gently took it, shaking it and having me fee as though I just made a new friend.

"It's nice to meet you." I said to him, seeing that the smile never left his face. As soon as we pulled our hands away, I saw his hands got the strap on his satchel and clutch the strap tightly like a death grip. It was like he was holding it like a lifejacket, making it his sense of reality as I folded my hands again in front of him, There was never one guy that did this to me, nor acted like this to me. It must have been the same way for him, since he shifted from one foot to another carefully like he was on broken glass. I then looked over my shoulder at the shelf again, trying to get myself back on track with what I was here to do.

"What else can I do for you?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Can someone tell me the proper amount of syrettes that one soldier can handle when it was needed on the battlefield?" Sarah, our Head Nurse in Camp Toccoa, asked all of the nurses as we were having a meeting out behind our main Nursing Cabin on a Friday morning. I was sitting with Alice n the third row, amongst other nurses who were both experience and new at the thought of nursing. In the past, I was a studious student when it came to learning new material and being quizzed on. But for some reason, I was not into this whole situation of relearning about syrettes and even plasma. I knew this stuff, I've learned it plenty of times when I was back in San Francisco. But I was still trying to prove myself as one of the best nurses here at Camp Toccoa. So I raised my hand, Sarah pointing to me as she stood in the front of all of the nurses that were in our seats.

"Depending on the weight of the soldier, it can vary from one to one in a half syrettes." I explained to her, seeing her nod her head and a smile on her face.

"Very good, Liebgott." She complimented me.

"Thank you ma'am." I replied back, seeing her then look back at the table in front of her and then point to the other tools there.

"What is the emergency protocol for too much Syrettes in the blood system?" She asked the group, though this time I dozed off when Alice was answering the questions. My gaze went over to the left, where the other soldiers were bring drilled once again and I wanted to see if I could find my brother. It took me a bit, but I finally found him with Easy Company, seeing him in the third row back on the second aisle. He was in his training uniform, helmet and gun and all as he was once again being bullied and broken down in front of Captain Sobel. I heard his name being thrown around once or twice in the Nursing station, everyone calling him a tyrant and a dick to be a Captain. I felt kind of bad for Joe, since not only did he get a lot of heat from the man, but so did the rest of the men in Easy. They all seemed like nice guys, from what I saw Joe got along with all of them just fine. So why would they have a jerk of a Captain?

Poor Joe. I would see him getting torn down all the time by the Captain, and it could be anything from how his uniform didn't look perfect or how his helmet was tilted too far to the left for Sobel's liking. But I couldn't anything to protect him, since they both were in different worlds now. Hell it was hard enough to talk to him everyday since out schedules were so different. But it was when we did talk, once or twice during free time and free hours, that we would fill each other in on what was going on with each other.

"Ah, here they are." I snapped back to reality when I heard Sarah speak up. I looked behind me, Alice doing so as well as the rest of the nurses as we saw a group of combat medics coming down the middle aisle in their training uniforms. I had no idea why they were here, with their satchels and medical bands on their arms. I found Eugene instantly, as if I was meant to find him, towards the back with two others that he must have been buddies with since they were talking to each other in hushed tones.

"These are the combat medics from D Company, Easy Company, and I Company. They are here to train with us for the day." Sarah informed us as the men took seats in the middle of the cluster of seats that were set up. I watched from over my shoulder as Eugene sat in the middle, three rows behind me with another Easy Company member. The rest of the nurses were murmuring to each other as if it was some kind of scandal that men were here amongst us women. Even Eugene looked a bit out of place, almost as if he would rather be anywhere else than here with a sea of women. I felt a bit bad for him, since he was too gentle amongst the rough men,

"For this next portion, we are going to be working in groups: one nurse to one combat medic and you will be learning how to properly roll and store the supplies and tools needed for battle. The other nurses will be with me and we will be doing inventory and going over the protocol of surface wounds. I will leave the combat medics with the nurses who have had at least 3 years of hospital experience." I grimaced a bit, knowing that the command included me. I was going to be working with the medics and there was nothing else that could get me out of working with them.

Great.

* * *

><p>"Private Roe, you'll be working with Nurse Liebgott." I was at my own area in the nursing cabin, getting my things together on the bed and having everything laid out nicely so I can see them when I looked up. Eugene was walking over to me, his hands once again on his satchel strap and he was looking at me as if was some kind of a rare creature. I never had that look before, so I was no petrified. Did I have something on my face or on my clothes? Was my hair way? What in the hell was wrong with me? It was just one man I met some time before and now I was freaking out on how I was looking in front of him.<p>

"Hello Eugene." I greeted him nicely, thinking he needed a polite greeting than a rare one. He hesitantly looked at me, a small smile on his face as if he was scared of me. Eugene stood at the edge of the bed, looking like it was not his place to be there near me.

"You can come over, don't be afraid." I said in a light tone, seeing him smile at me and then tentatively walk over to where I was, standing next to me and having me grin at him.

"Hello Jemima." He said to me in his thick Louisiana accent. I wanted to correct him, tell him to call me Jenny, but for some reason I liked how he said my name. Whether it was the sound that came from his lips or even how my name rolled off his tongue like it was water, it was soothing and it reminded me of home.

"I guess we are workin' together on this." I said to him with a shrug of my shoulders, seeing him nod his head and then pointing to my tools and how they were laid out perfectly on top of the bed with the sheets there.

"And I can see you have a way of organizing things." He pointed out, having me look at my own bedspread as well. Now I felt like a fool, how it looked so perfect. I must of looked like a stickler then, probably a bitch that only wanted it done one way. This was how I learned when I was in the hospital back at home, but now it was different.

"I'm sorry." I said suddenly, about to reach down to do something else to it rather than make it look like a masterpiece. Eugene suddenly reached out his hand to stop me from doing that, his face looking more concerned from seeing my own face.

"It's okay! Really, I like it." he replied in a fast pace, having me watch him carefully and see what he was saying was true.

"Really?" I asked him in confusion. He smiled, nodding his head slowly at me.

"I think it's smart, having thins lines out like this so you can see what you have to pack and how to pack it." He explained to me, pointing to to each item on the bed and then looking back at me. For some reason, the light in the cabin made his brown eyes brighter, much brighter.

"I've learned from working in a hospital for about 7 years," I explained to him cooly, not wanting to sound too full of myself, "Do you need help with organizing?"

"A bit." he replied, opening the flap to his satchel and having me look inside. It was neat, but I could see where he would want to fix things and shift things around to make more room.

"I can help you with that, if you want?" I asked him in a suggestion. He nodded his head, closing the satchel and having me see that he was feeling a bit better about the conversation we were having each other. I liked him already, as a friend and someone who was more low key than the rowdy bunch around us. He seemed like he was worth getting to know more and more, not quickly and in a rush. Eugene had the notion of taking things carefully, from what I could see. I have only seen a few doctors like him, and they turned out to be the best of the best.

So that might be Eugene.

* * *

><p>"So where are you from, Eugene?" I asked him as we were both sitting outside the nurse's cabin, long after we were done with our own training together. We got done early enough to have some free time before we would go to dinner. We decided just to sit outside in the sun, though we both looked like we needed it since we were pale in comparison to the other soldiers and nurses in Camp Toccoa. I was sitting in a chair, next to him and we were just on the porch, watching the other soldiers go through drills and such.<p>

"Louisiana," he replied, having me look over at him, "I'm half Cajun."

"And did you want to be a medic here in the army?" I asked him some more, wanting to get to know him much more. He just shook his head, ruffling his thin black hair with his fingers and a small smirk on his face.

"They gave me this job, my first day here. At first I really didn't understand it, but I guess I'm kind of liking it already," he explained to me some more as I shifted in my seat a bit in the chair, "Ever since then, I've been trying to keep my head above the water it comes to being a medic here."

"You seem to be good at it." I said to him in reassurance, though he chuckled and shook his head.

"I'm not in the field yet." He countered with me politely.

"Of course, but then again you already know enough medicine to put the other medics to shame." I complimented him, then mental kicking myself again for saying that to him as if I was flirting with him. What in the hell, Jemima? What was your deal with this guy? He just grinned, looking down at his folded hands on his lap and then back at me.

"Thank you, but I still have a lot to learn and I think I'm dong pretty okay here," He explained, having me nod my head in agreement, "And..if I remember correctly…you Private Liebgott's sister?"

"His twin, yes." I answered.

"Never thought he would have a sister as nice as you." He said to me, having me chuckle from my spot.

"That tends to be the case a lot when we were kids. He's more brash." I explained to him.

"I wouldn't use the word brash, more like snarky." He voice, but then I saw the grimace on his face. He must of thought he insulted my brother, having me watch him as he tried to collect his thoughts.

"I apologize, that was a bit rude." He tried to explain, but I shook my head from him trying to be nice about Joe.

"Snarky can describe him very well, Eugene. It's okay. I would prefer to call him jackass but that would be a bit insulting on his end." I reassured him in a chuckle as he grinned again. I then heard the running of feet coming our way, having the both of us look and see a group of men running over to us with their white shirts and jogging shorts on, along with their boots. I suddenly felt out of place again as they were approaching us. For a quick second I looked over at Doc too, seeing that he too felt out of place and shifting uneasily in his chair.

"Hey Doc! You gonna join us for dinner tonight?" one of the men asked in enthusiasm as they stood in front of us, but not on the porch.

"Sure thing, Warren." Eugene replied, though I was still reeling that they are calling him Doc. Even though it was new to me, it sounded like it suited him: Doc. He was quiet and secure, like a Doctor really.

"Oh come on, Doc. Call me Muck the rest of the guys in our company!" The same man explained, having me Doc shake his head and then another man look over at me, his eyes suddenly wide. He had flaming red hair, cut short for the army and big warm eyes.

"Sorry! Are we interrupting something?" He asked, having the first guy named Muck look to and they now both looked a bit embarrassed.

"Not at all." I replied back to him.

"Sorry about that, I'm Donald Malarky. You must be Joe's sister." he said to me as he held out his hand for me to shake. I shook it, seeing his grin and how big it was on his face.

"How could you tell?" I asked him coyly, seeing him chuckle.

"You got the same nose." Muck merely replied, having me grin and nod my head.

"And you're just as good lookin', but don't him we said that." Another soldier behind him said aloud in a hearty tone, a bit shorter than the rest of the guys and his tone sounded like he was the funny guy in the group.

"Can it, Luz." Malarky said back to the shorter man, then looking back over at the both of us. I could see out of the corner of my eye Eugene looking between myself and the group of men in front of me, as if he was afraid something was going to go wrong.

"Well since you're Joe's sister, maybe you would like to join us for dinner tonight in the mess hall." Muck suggested, having me see Malarky and Luz nod in agreement. I smiled from my spot, thinking it was not my place.

"I doubt Joe would want his sister to be with his friends at dinner." I countered back with him, not wanting to be the sister that was always there. But the shook their heads.

"Oh I don't think he would mind. You're cool enough, from what he's told us." Malarky reassured me, having me then look over at Eugene to see how he felt about it. He just smiled, having me see that hr too had no voice in the matter though the other boys respected him. He wasn't vocal enough, which was fine with me. So I looked back at the boys, feeling a bit bolder in front of the boys. For the first time being here, I felt bold enough to go out of my comfort zone.

'"I would love to."


	4. Chapter 4

I walked into the mess hall, shoving my hands in my pockets as I had my hair down past my shoulders and my heart was going at 50 miles her hour again. As soon as I grabbed my tray with the food, I was now standing there like a deer in headlights After being invited to get dinner with the rest of Easy Company, I could no stop thinking about how I was going to present myself now. As soon as the boys left, I was panicking. I was never one to be around too many guys at one time, and now I was going to be in front of a whole Company whom wanted to meet me because I was a sister to one of their own. Was Joe going to like this? Did he even want me there? This was stupid, what was I thinking?

I stood at the entrance, holding my tray of food and looking at the sea of soldiers and nurses that were already talking and eating with each other. I was so used to going to the nurse's area with the other women there, which was on one end of the mess hall. But now it was going to be different, very different. So I was frozen in my spot as if I was glued to the floor and not able to move. There was something keep me there: the fear of rejection and not being liked by the others. Why was this such a huge deal now?

"There she is!" I heard on the other end of the mess hall, having me look down the middle row and see a couple of the Easy Company men that I met earlier looking over at me, waving me over as if they were waiting for me the whole time. I was about to go over there when I saw Joe pop up from his spot on the bench, walking over to me with a small smile on his face. Now this was my big concern, was I going to be a burden to him since he was already making friends of his own? I had Alice, and now Eugene as a friend. So who was I to go into his own friendship world?

"You okay?" He asked me, seeing that I was zoning out and I looked down at my own hand at my side. It was twitching, I saw it flinch for a mere moment and I panicked. It was a minor seizure, since my own thoughts were going on overload and my stress was piling up. I nodded my head at him, hiding my hands behind my back for him not to see the twitch that was going on with my left hand. He must have seen since he asked me and saw the hesitance in my eyes.

"I'm fine." I replied back to him, far too quickly and seeing him raise an eyebrow at me. He was reading my face, and I was hiding it very nicely for him. He then pointing behind him at the Easy Company men.

"You ready to eat?" He asked me, casual as always. I nodded his head, seeing him turn on his heel before I grabbed his arm and had him stop before he would walk away and back to the other men. He looked back at me, confusion in his eyes.

"Is this okay? Me….going over there?" I asked him, still trying to find the right words to use to my brother. At first he did nothing, not realizing what I was trying to say or do. But then it clicked with him, he faced me again.

"Why wouldn't it be?" He asked me in a shrug of his shoulders, as if it was nothing. I was still hesitant, not thinking it was a great idea.

"You don't think I would be cramping your style, would ya?" I pressed him more. It was then that he knew what I was talking about. There were times when we were teenagers when we would want our own time with our own friends, not wanting to be around the other. Although that was very rare for us to separate and not want the other to be around when we would go out, it was still something that I wanted to hold true since I never wanted to be the over attached to my own brother.

"You're not going to cramp my style, Jemmy. You're welcome with them. Hell, ever since I mentioned you on our first day here, they've been wanting to meet ya," Joe explained to me softly, giving me a rub on my arm with his hand and I saw a sincere smile on his face, "Come on, or I'll drag you."

"You wouldn't dare." I warned him, seeing him grin at me as we both started to walk over to the table where the men were. It made me feel better that he wanted me to join in with his new friends, though as we were walking over to the table, I saw something that made my stomach churn and my head feel heavy.

There was a soldier sitting on the edge of one of the stools, next to the open area where people were walking, and he was looking at me as if I was some kind of prize. His eyes were so dark, so inviting as he was grinning at me like a predator would to his prey. The soldier looked young, almost the same age as me, but there was nothing unique or kind about his face and how he was leaning against the stool like he was ready to move. I did not like the stare he gave me, though I walked on past him and behind my brother, though I could feel his eyes were still on me as we approached the table where the Easy Company men were sitting.

"Make room guys." Joe said to all of them, the boys scooting over to make two seats for the both of us. Joe hopped in first, and then If followed him. As soon as I sat down in my seat, I looked across and saw Luz and Malarky, the same guys from earlier who talked to both Eugene and I in front of the Nurse's cabin. They smiled at me, having me feel a bit better. Though I looked up and down the table and I saw no Eugene there, which made me a bit sad. So I took one bite from my food, not knowing what else there was to do.

"So, you're the other Liegbott?" One other Easy Company member asked me, though he was polite enough. Something about his bright blue eyes was piercing in the mess hall, along with his strong jawline and brown short hair.

"The one and only." Joe replied in a grin, having me smile and nod my head.

"I'm Jemima Liegbott," I introduced myself to them all, "But please call me Jemmy."

"Jemima?" He asked me, trying to get it right.

"Yeah. Our parents had the bright idea of using a bible to look up baby names." I explained, hearing chuckles from the men left and right.

"I'm David Webster. You can call me Web, and I have no idea if my own mom and dad called me after someone in the bible. But I think it's doubtful." the man introduced himself, shaking my hand gently and I smiled at him,

"Pleasure to meet you." I replied back to him.

"So why is it that you're nice and your brother here isn't?" Another soldier asked in curiosity, his voice made him sound like he was from Philadelphia, he had a bigger stance about him as he was across and one person down from me.

"Don't even start Guarnene." Joe warned him, but I grinned because he was clearly getting annoyed with this guy.

"Oh, come on, I'm just curious really? You're more polite than your brother next to ya." Guarnene went on with his antic.

"Don't mind Bill here," Another one talked out loud, over to my left and on the other side of Joe. He was a big guy with short strawberry blond hair had a big face. For some reason, he reminded me of a bear of some kind, big in stature but gentle in his tone, "He likes to push buttons around here. Especially with your brother."

"And one of these days he's going to get the bad end of it." Joe muttered as he drank down his tin can, a look of bitterness on his face.

"Its no problem," I replied to the bigger man, seeing him smile at me, "My brother can hold his own."

"No doubt in that. He already does with his mouth there," He added, then holding out his hand for me in front of Joe. I shook it, seeing how small my hand was in his massive one, "I'm Denver Randleman."

"Call him Bull," Luz said to me in confidence, having me look at him and see him grin from his spot next to Muck and Guarnene, "He may me a giant, but he's just a gentle as a bull."

"Jesus Luz, don't start." Bull said to him in his accent that made me think he was from the farm country. He suited him though, having me realize that all of these men were from all over America.

"According to your brother, you're one the best nurses around." Muck started up a conversation.

"Is that right?" I asked him, seeing him nod his head as I then looked over at my brother, who tried to eat his own food and not even be a part of the conversation.

"That's my brother for ya, knowing how to use his words to his own advantage." I commented, hearing the chuckle of the men again as Joe even smiled from what I said. We both were fine with our antics with one another, teasing and taunting one another and knowing it was just because we loved each other.

"But come on, tell us. How good are you?" Bull asked me as I took two bites from my own plate.

"I'm pretty good, though I'm not going to toot my own horn really." I reassured him, seeing him nod his head.

"That's not what Alice said." Webster commented, taking a bite from his food and having my head snap over at him in shock.

"You know Alice?" I asked him in curiosity, having the rest of the Company look at him as he was about to raise his fork with food on it into his mouth. He paused, looking at all of the men and then me, it was like he was a child who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. We all waited for an explanation from him, since he was frozen in his spot and then lowering the fork to the tray again.

"I talk to her….from time to time." He explained slowly, and then the rest of the men breaking out in grins that were mischievous.

"Oh sure, you guys just talk…right…" Luz said in a teasing tone, having me smirk from how he said it, like an older brother.

"She's nice though, Webster." I reassured him gently, having me see him eye with a raised eyebrow at me and then looking at Joe as if he was comparing the both of us.

"I'm still wonderin' how you two are related." Webster commented, having both Joe and I smile from our spots next to each other on the bench.

"You should see her when she's pissed: that's when you'll know we're related." Joe explained, now having all the attention back on me once more as the men were giving me surprised looks. Joe knew of my own stubbornness and he was willing to talk about it with these men, and if he felt safe enough to talk about it then I should be safe about it too.

"Really?" Malarky asked in a surprised tone. I shrugged my shoulders, taking another bite from my food and then a long drink from my tin can.

"Joe should know: he did teach me how to hold a bat." I said in a comment, having me hear intakes of breaths from everyone around us though Joe remained cool in his spot, taking his own bite from his tray.

"I can't picture ya liftin' a pretty finger." Guarnene commented, having me look over at Joe who was now glaring at him, holding his fork and looking like he wanted to stab him in the heart or even in the eyes. I grabbed his arm gently in my hand, clutching him and silently telling him to not even try to look more of an idiot in front of all the men there.

"Just wait to piss me off," I said in a cool tone, the smiles were lowering slightly as I went on with the conversation, "I have a mean swing and I won't be afraid to use it." Joe grinned slightly next to me as I released his arm, seeing him eat his food again and I did the same. I may be the quieter and the gentler twin, but I too was willing to fight someone who would cross me wrong. It would take a lot for someone to rub me the wrong way, plainly and simply. However, Joe knew of my bolder side that was hardly seen by others, not even our parents.

"That she does." Joe commented to the table with his tin can against his lips.

"Good thing we have you on the right side in this war then, eh boys?" Luz said aloud to the group of men, all of them laughing and nodding in agreement. I was afraid that I would be seen as someone who was meek and not up to par with the rest of the people here in the army. But now I felt as though a new leaf was turned over with myself since most of the Easy Company men were grinning at me now.

"Oh look! Doc, over here Doc! Come on!" I looked from hearing another member who was motioned for someone to come to our table. I saw that it was Eugene, who was still in his own uniform and was looking around as if he was lost. I grinned from seeing him since I enjoyed talking with him on the porch of the cabin. He saw the soldier waving him over, then walk over with his food and a small smile on his lips.

"Where have ya been Doc? You almost missed all of dinner." Malarky said aloud as Eugene said down right across from me, looking a bit out of it. He looked like he had a long day since we talked on the porch, maybe he had to train some more or had to talk to someone.

"Captain Sobel was wanting to talk to me and how I was lacking in my running up and down Curahee." He explained, having me hear everyone in the area groan from hearing the news from Eugene. I felt bad for him, seeing the tiredness on his face and now he was more reserved again, even in front of me. This didn't seem like him, not from what I would see.

"He had no right to go after you Doc." Guarnene grumbled from his spot at the table.

"It's fine." Eugene reassured him in a low tone, but Joe shook his head.

"Naw it ain't, Doc. You shouldn't have to get any bullshit from that son of a bitch." Joe explained to him calmly, but he was just as agitated about as the rest of the men were. Eugene just ate his food and not said a word for a moment, looking right at me in front of him and I smiled at me. He smiled right back, without even hesitating for a second and I get warmth going under my skin again. Was it because he was quieter than the rest of them and was not as flamboyant? Or was it that I could see the kindness in his eyes and how he spoke?

But he was slowly drawing me in, slowly but surely he was.

* * *

><p>It's been now two weeks since Joe and I came to Camp Toccoa, and since meeting all of the Easy men at the dinner I've been closer to all of them as the days came and went. Although they were on different schedules than me, and they had to put up with Captain Sobel none the less, they would stop what they were doing whenever I would walk by and we would chat for a moment or two. Every single one of the guys in Easy Company had their own personalities that I was picking up on. And the best to talk to was Eugene, whom every called Doc. But I still called him Eugene, it suited him, at least it did to me.<p>

Whenever we would talk, whether it was about medicine or just what we did with out lives before we came to the war, there was a sense of lightness between us. It was like I had no need to be big or bold in front of him, not like the other men that I met at Camp Toccoa. With Eugene, I was fine just being myself. We got to know each other more and more, having me discover that he hated the winter because he was used to the Louisiana sun, he missed his mother's gumbo and her scent of lavender, and he knew how to speak French. I told him more about me since he was so interested, my language for German, my knack for reading books on topics other than medicine, I loved the taste of chocolate and my love for autumn and the changing colors of the trees.

"How is Nurse Liebgott doing here?" I heard behind me, hearing that it was Winters who was speaking to my Head Nurse as I was working on a soldier who came in with a sprained ankle. He twisted it while doing his drills, was brought to me and I was the only nurse in the cabin. I got him a cold wrap and a bag of ice to place on his ankle, which was propped up on a spare pillow.

"Just keep your foot here, soldier and you'll be fine before you know it." I reassured the soldier, whom nodded his head and smile weakly at me.

"Thank you ma'am." He thanked as I heard Winters talk to the Head Nurse some more, having me hear her answer.

"She's my best nurse, sir. She knows her medicine far too well and has done well with all the testing we have given her." The Head Nurse explained to Winters as I walked from his ankle over to the other side of the bed to fill out his paperwork for his injury.

"Colonel Sink wants to know if you believe she is ready to be a combat medic for Easy Company. We are in need of a medic who speaks German, and our own medic only speaks French." Winters explained to the Head Nurse, having me think of Eugene instantly. He did know French since he grew up on the Bayous of Louisiana and that was his second language.

"I understand, sir. I think she can do well as a combat medic. However, I do hope you know that this can be a growing concern." The Heard Nurse warned him, having me pause as I was filling out the paperwork on the clipboard, thinking of how this could be a concern.

"I don't think I'm following, ma'am." Winters stated in a confused tone. I waited as well, wondering what she was talking about and what she meant by concern.

"Sir, if you let her be a combat medic, she would be the first one in this army's history as a female combat medic. That can raise a few questions regarding safety and rights, you know that?" I was frozen in my spot, not thinking about that before. It never crossed my mind that I would be the only female in the Company, let alone the first one in the army to be a combat medic. Was this a huge risk to Colonel Sink? Would all eyes be on me now?

"He understands that situation, ma'am. But he has full confidence in her that she can perform up to the tasks of the other combat medics. She will be trained under our watchful eyes and will have the same information as the others. We only ask if you feel she is ready for this." Winters explained to her softly as I felt a trail of moisture on my skin from my nose to my lip, having me place the clipboard down and reach up carefully. I touched the moisture there on my lip with my finger, pulling it away for me to see as I sighed in frustration and fear: Blood.

Not now.

I rushed away from the patient and over to the back end of the cabin, feeling more blood come down from my nose and I tried so hard not to let it be seen. This was the first nosebleed in months, and whenever I got one, it was going to result in some kind of seizure. I had to calm down, I had to rethink and get my brain working normally again.

tucking away from sight, I sunk down to the floor and covered my nose with both hands, my eyes closing and started to count to ten all over again, the same thing i would do in order to stop a seizure from happening. This was not starting to get more real than I thought. Could I handle being a combat medic now? What would happen if I had a seizure out on the field and I was working with a soldier who was dying at my hands and feet? Would I be able to help them, or would I even die if the pressure and stress went too far. I counted slowly, one…two….three…..

"I think she's ready." The Head Nurse said from her spot, and I could hear her faint as I pulled my hands away from my nose, seeing the blood there and my own heart and brain calming down finally from the near burst of extra energy. They thought I was ready, and I would think Joe did the same though he too knew about my Epilepsy. But was I willing to place my own life and neck on the line for work for the other men. Any time I go out there, I could eventually die from my own disease. But that would mean that I was weak, that I was willing to give into the disease instead of fighting it. I could not afford to do that, not now.

I was ready.


	5. Chapter 5

"Go." My new officer commanded, having me and two other combat medics bolt through the training course that was set up for us. Since I was given the promotion to being a combat medic one week ago, I was then shifted over to a new uniform, the new schedule, and new protocol when it came to training and classes. I felt bad though, leaving Alice behind and joining the men of the combat medic branch, but she was beyond glad that I got this new opportunity.

The first female combat medic in Camp Toccoa history.

I should be proud of that title, hell I was just a bit. But I was mostly trying to show the men there that I could be just as strong and tough as they were when it came to the exercise and physical aspects of combat medic training. It was just as gruesome as the soldier training, but modified because we weren't handling weapons. Our weapons were our satchels across our chests, in which I got one of my own that was brand new and spotless. We had to learn how to run and how to dodge objects in order to get to who needed help. We had to train on how to heal and take care of a wounded soldier even in the line of fire. It was exhausting, but also exhilarating. Sometimes I would have to collect myself in order to not have another seizure on my hands. There were times when it as getting close for an episode to erupt, but I always pulled through.

When I wasn't on the spot when training, I would watch intensely as the others would go through the course, man the dummies that would eventually be soldiers, and get them healed within a certain time limit. I could see how they were both succeeding and failing, making a mental note in my head as I was waiting for my turn. Private Spina, also from Easy Company, was a bit on the rough side, but he was still good none the less. But it was when Eugene was on the spot, running gracefully and at full force, that make me see that what he was doing was perfect. He knew how to run, how to crouch next to the victim and how to take care of him, as if this was his second nature. I watched in amazement, seeing how his eyes slightly squinted when he was going to work on the dummy, and how his head would tilt to the side when dressing a wound with gauze and bandages. Eugene was a natural at this.

So now, as I dodged the obstacles in front of me with my new satchel on my hip and my eyes on the prize, I was ready to show the rest of the men that I could just as fast as them, if not faster. I _was _fast, the fastest one in the Combat Medic group. They timed me, and every time I blew the others out of the water. I even had Eugene beat by 20 seconds. It might have been because I had long legs, or that I had that extra burst of energy inside of me. I hopped over the logs that were there, sliding to my knees by the dummy and then starting to dress the leg, since that was the new assignment for us. I knew how to do this, I practiced it so many times. This was about to be second nature to me as well, having me tap the dummy to signal that I was done, the Sargent Medic looking at his stopwatch with a grin.

"Well done, Liebgott. Fastest time yet, you might have broken the last record." The sergeant said aloud to me as I got up in front of him. The other combats medics that were watching were just as shocked as I was, and I heard them clap for me since we would clap for every medic that would go through the paces. I just smiled.

"Thank you, sir." I thanked him, jogging back over to the line of combat medics that were waiting for their name to be called. I found myself right next to Eugene, who smiled widely at me as he was holding his satchel in his hands again. I smiled back, seeing the warmth in his dark eyes.

"You're doing good." He complimented me.

"Thank you, Eugene. I'm not as good as you when it comes to delivery, though." I replied back, seeing him shrug.

"Eh, you have me beat at the speed." He said, having me chuckle as another combat medic was called out from F Company. Eugene and I watched for a few moments before Eugene spoke up again.

"How are you feeling about being a combat medic?" He asked me in wonder. I kept my eyes on the medic who was being timed, though I answered him wholeheartedly.

"It's a challenge, but I think I'm getting used to it. I am glad to be assigned to your Company, though it seems like I'm taking the responsibility from you." I explained as the medic started dressing the dummy. It was true, what I said. I felt bad that I was somewhat coming into the position with Eugene, having it look like I was trying to take his place.

"Less work for me." Eugene shrugged his shoulders, but I shook his head.

"I don't want you to think I'm taking your place though, Eugene." I countered with him, seeing him look at directly in the eye as I did to him.

"I don't think you are, though." He reassured me in a light tone, having felt that sense of warmth again before we were then interrupted by a private going over to our Head Combat Medic. Handed him a note, though the medic with F Company was finished and his time was about 20 seconds behind me.

"Roe and Liegbott from Easy, you're needed at the base of Curahee for the 3 mile run." Both Roe and I looked rather shocked from our spots, and even some of the other medics looked at the both of us as the Head Medic read off the note. I groaned on the inside, thinking that I would have to start training with the men in order to be better at being a Combat Medic.

"Come on." Roe urged me, walking with me as we were leaving out Combat Medic training with our own satchels, though I was dreading now having to deal with Captain Sobel and his tough ways with the men. Would he be harsh with me? Would I be one of his victims now? How was he going to act with me since I was a female?

"Is the run that bad?" I asked Eugene under my breath as we were walking past plenty of soldiers to our medic cabin.

"You run for a livin'?" Eugene countered with his own question.

"I can run." I answered him, seeing him nod his head though he too looked grimaced about it and his eyes were dead ahead.

"You'll survive."

* * *

><p>"You've got to be kiddin' me." I grumbled, looking at the outfit that I had to wear. I had on a white shirt, and my hair was in a high ponytail though my bangs were in a french braid that was pulled back, but my shorts…..damnit. They were just as short as the guy's shorts, so I was showing a lot of legs. If I was at home and I tried to leave my own house in this, not only would I get a scolding from my father, but from Joe. This was ridiculous, but I had to wear it since I was the only female and they didn't have proper clothes for me. But the word proper meant that I would no show so much leg. It was like they didn't care that I was showing skin, though I still ventured on as I joined the rest of the Company at the beginning of the hill.<p>

As I approached the men, I saw all of their eyes on me, and they were big. Damn, I hated this. it was like I was on display. They were more shocked, from what I was seeing, with what I was wearing. Even Joe looked a bit shocked, and I could tell he was about to get heated as I joined the rest of the men. Some of them looked away, thinking that if they were going to look at me for too long then they would get a black eye from my twin brother, and the others were just staring at me. But their stares weren't lustful, they were just shocked. The last person that I saw looking at me was Eugene, and he looked like he was trying so hard not to gaze at my legs. I could even see a hint of blush on his cheeks as I went to the back of the block, right next to my brother and Muck.

"Jesus Christ." Joe grumbled as I stood next to me, having me feel more embarrassed as he eyed me up and down with pure judgment on his face, "Could they have gotten you actual shorts?"

"They're the same shorts as yours," I reminded him in a mutter, seeing the other Company members get over watching me now and we were waiting for Captain Sobel to come and get us ready for the run, "I don't think they were thinking that they were going to have any females in the army other than nursing."

"It's still drawing some eyes, Jemmy." Joe warned me, having me glare at him now with a death glare.

"And you think I like the attention. It's like I'm a piece of meat out here." I explained harshly to him.

"Well, you'll only have to worry about Easy since I don't think any of them would see you like that at this point." Joe countered with me though we went silent again as we saw Captain Sobel jog up to us, having all of us go into attention in our block. As he was approaching us, I felt as though he was about to put me out personally in front of all of the men and attack me. Why? Because I was a woman in his group and he was going to see me as a threat for some reason. I knew that for sure, but I had to be able to stand my ground with him.

"Attention." He called, all of us going to attention as he scanned the ground, row by row, and then his eyes went to me. I looked ahead, knowing that this was going to be the moment of truth, and he then walked back over to me in such a brisk pace it was like he was going for a prize. I breathed in and out slowly through my nose and he looked at me up and down, already judging me and making me feel small since he was taller than me and broader.

"You're Nurse Liegbott I presume?" He asked me.

"Yes sir. Liebgott, Jemima L." I said back to him in my military tone, though his face was showing no kindness to me.

"I was told you are another one of my men here in Easy as a combat medic and you will be training under my watchful eye. I have already whipped this group into shape, so you better not slow me down by one second or else you will not see the sky as a paratrooper." Sobel interacted me, his voice was thick and was cutting through the area like a knife in the dark.

"Yes sir." I replied back to him, but something in his stare at me made me feel really uneasy. He as trying to get me scared, making me feel as though I did not belong in the group.

"Let's go, men. No one last or behind the last record." Sobel yelled out to the group and jogged to the front, having me take out the breath that I was holding in, blinking a few times and then wishing that there was some way that I could show him that I belonged in the group.

"You remember when we would race when we were kids?" Joe asked me under his breath as Sobel got to the front. Joe kept his eyes to the front, though I wanted to sneak at glance to him.

"Yeah." I replied back shortly as we started to jog on the level terrain which I knew would be steep pretty soon.

"Race him." Joe instructed me, having me give hims quick glance as we were jogging now out of formation as the men were moving around a bit on their jog. What was he talking about?

"You out of your mind? I could get in trouble." I argued with him harshly in a short breath as we were started to turn the first way up the hill.

"Or you could spit in his eye. Prove him wrong, Jemmy. It's do or die." Joe replied, having me realize what he wanted me to do: to prove it. Prove that I was good enough for this group and that no jog was going to slow me down. We would race as children up hills that were steeper than this, much steeper since San Francisco itself was shaped on hills and cliffs. I grinned from what went off in my head.

Time to get cocky.

One mile in, and I could feel some of the burn in my chest as I was started to pick up my pace. I was passing people slowly: Muck, then Perconte, Lipton and then Luz. when I passed them, I saw grins on their face. It was like they knew, they knew what I was trying to do with Sobel and they weren't going to make a big fuss out of it. It was when I passed Eugene, who was near the front as his own good pace, when I finally looked back and I saw him look up at me. He was doing fine from where I was at, but it was when we locked eyes for a solid second that I felt like everything was slowing down right in front of me.

The more we would talk together, about meaningless things and what we were interested in, I found myself becoming the more enraptured by him. But how could that be so? It felt as though we were so opposite from each other: he was quiet and I was vocal. He was meek and timid in how he spoke to the others, with compassion and care. And me? I was a bit on the brash kind, but still kind enough for the fellas to like me. But we somehow meshed together too, how we both laughed with and at each other and how we spoke softly.

He was seeping underneath my skin, and it was getting worse as the days went by.

I passed Martin and Guarnene, making it to the front by the second mile as we were about to hit the steepest part of the hill. This was nothing to me, I was used to running faster and more aggressively, but then again I was a teenager than with Joe. So by the time I made it to Sobel, who made the run look like it was a breeze, I was passing him like it was nothing as well. I could tell he was in shock though I did not give him the liberty by looking back at him to see how shocked he was. I just bolted up the hill, jogging lightly on my feet in my army boots and I could feel my hair swishing back and forth behind me. This must of been the stupidest move I would ever do in my life: flaunting my running ability in front of my officer and hoping that I would get away with it. But as I made it to the top and touched the top piece on the mountain, I turned on my foot and went back running down the hill, seeing Sobel now glare at me as I passed him, though he was nothing to me. I just ran, ran as fast as I could and with ease.

I was a fool.

* * *

><p>"Liebgott." I heard behind me, having me instantly whirl around and see both Winters and Nixon come into the nurses cabin, having me stand at attention to the both of them. They walked in, both of them looking like they were determined as they were now in front of me.<p>

"At ease." Winters said to me in a low tone, which then made me think that I was now in trouble. I never heard him use that tone with me personally, so this must mean real trouble. I had my hands down to my side now, waiting for what was going to come at me.

"I was told by Sobel that you were acting out of conduct while on the last run up to Curahee.' Winters explained to me, having me grimace a bit from hearing that from Winters. I knew it had something to do with my run up the hill and how I passed Sobel like it was nothing. I saw someone standing at the edge of the doorway of the cabin, looking with hesitant eyes. It was then I knew that it was Eugene, looking at me and seeing that I was being talked to by Winters. There was a sense of fear in his eyes, but I and to look back at Winters.

"He didn't like the fact that you were flaunting yourself in front of not only the men in Easy, but Sobel himself and he called it an act of misconduct." Winters went on, having me feel as though now I was going to be severely punished. I looked down for a moment, trying so hard not to show my frustration in front of both of the 2nd Lieutenants.

"I apologize, sir." I said to the both of them aloud, still in a stiff stance and staring straight ahead as Nixon looked over at Winters and then back at me.

"Although Sobel does not condone that kind of activity in his battalion…We both were impressed." Nixon explained to me, now having me look at him in confusion as to what he was talking about. Were they impressed? That didn't sound right.

"Sir?" I asked him, confused. Winters smiled from his spot.

"All of Easy Company was impressed by your efforts. And because of how hard you are working with the other combat medics, along with the praises we are hearing from the Head Combat Medic whom is training you, Colonel Sink wants you to be trained in being a paratrooper." I grinned from ear to ear from hearing this, having a sense of weight come off of me. They wanted me to jump with the rest of the men, and that made me beyond excited.

"Thank you, sir." I thanked Winters, seeing him nod his head as he looked over at Nixon briefly.

"You start your jump training tomorrow with the rest of the men." Winters explained to me in his authoritative tone again, having me nod my head once.

"Yes sir." I replied, seeing the both of them turning on their heels to move out of the nursing cabin. I went from being scared that I was in too much trouble, to getting another opportunity to move up in the world of the army and to further prove that I could do what I was doing. Winters took a few steps, and then look back over his shoulder at me once more.

"Oh, and I was told to remind you…not to do that again." Winters commented in a low tone though I could see a smile on his face as he said this. Even Nixon grinned from the comment as I smirked in my spot when they walked out of the cabin. I was once again left alone in the cabin, having me sigh in relief as Eugene showed his face again, walking over with his training clothes on and worried look on his face.

"What happened?" he asked me, having me hear the concern in his voice as I ran my fingers in my hair to get out the jitters that were in my stomach.

"Sobel wanted to punish me for what I did on the run." I explained to him in a calm tone, seeing him look at me with wide eyes.

"You didn't do anything wrong." He countered with me, the sound of frustration in his voice as I just smiled at him.

"I know. But now Sink wants me to be a paratrooper with you and the rest of Easy." I reassured him, now seeing a smile break out in front of me on his face, in which made his whole face even brighter in the room.

"Really?" He asked me with a hint of surprise in his voice, making me smile so big at him in return. Something about him smiling at me made me smile in return, made me want to be brighter when it came to my personality. I nodded my head at him, seeing his grin never leaving his face as he shifted from one foot to another.

"Apparently they think I'm good enough." I commented, still reeling that they think that I was beyond their expectations. But it sounded like I was making myself feel bad or lower than I should. Although I never meant to say that about myself, because I have some kind of spine still attached to me, Eugene looked at me in a reassuring way that also looked like love.

"I think you're good enough." He said to me in a convincing tone, having me eye him from my spot in fort of him and almost loose my breath. The way he said it, it sounded so soothing from him, as if I could believe anything he would tell me and I would think it was the truth. Leave it to Eugene to make me feel lighter than air and more loved than any guy ever acted to me, and yet we were friends.

Did I want to be friends with him? Or something more?

* * *

><p>I walked from being in one of the meeting tents with the Head Combat Medics back to my cabin though it was late at night and I could feel the chill coming through the area. I was glad to be done for the day, though I had to talk to my Head Combat Medic about the protocol in the morning with the training classes and obstacles courses that I was going to go through before I would go off to my paratrooper training with the rest of Easy Company.<p>

Going along the rows of tents that were there, I could feel that I was not alone in the walk. Someone was right behind me though there were plenty of people walking around from tent of tent. I just wanted to get back to my cabin and go to sleep, but there was a sinking feeling that I was not going to be walking by myself anymore, and I was right. I was then grabbed by behind by someone, having me looked behind me and see that it was none other than the soldier who was giving me the predator look at the mess hall weeks ago. I remembered his face, how he was looking at me like some kind of prize. And this was perfect, being along with him and not having anyone else around to help me out.

"Hello, there beautiful." he said to me in a low tone, almost crazy like as I shoved his hand off of me.

"You have a problem?" I asked him aloud, "Or a question?"

"Yeah, how is that something as pretty as you can get so dirty and still look so nice in a pair of shorts?" He asked me in a sneer. He must have see me in my running clothes with Easy Company, and now he was harassing me. I rolled my eyes as him and was about to turn and walk away from him. I did not want a fight not right now. But he had other plans, since he grabbed me again and shoved me gently against the tent all and his sinister grin was still on his face.

"I like them feisty." He said in a gleeful tone, having me shove him off of me.

"Then back the hell off, I'm not going to let you drool over something that's clearly out of your league." I warned him in a low tone, but he was not buying it as he stood in front of me and was trapping me there against the tent wall. I felt panic coming over me, having me try to breathe since this could result in my having another seizure if my emotions were too out of whack. I didn't take my medicine today, so this could be even worse.

"And your think you can just walk away without any kind of something in return for me?" He asked in a scoffed tone, placing both of his hands on the tent wall behind me, getting so close that he wanted to kiss me. Without thinking, and since it was instinct, I shoved him harder away from me and I saw him stumble back a bit. I knew I was strong, but not _that _strong. He looked pissed now, getting his footing again as I was about to move away from him and be done with him for good. He was quick, grabbing my arm and shoving me against the tent now with force. My heart rate went up, having me feel my hands at my side twitching and my neck twitch from the seizure that was coming.

"Get the fuck off of her." There as a growl behind him, having both myself and the soldier look over and see that it was Bull, Malarky, Luz and Joe walking over to us. Joe was fuming from his spot as the soldier released me, since Bull was now towering him with his own glare on his face. Once the soldier released me, I breathed out a shallow breath as Luz grabbed me gently, pulling me back behind the other three who were blocking me from the soldier.

"Back off before you get hurt." The soldier warned in a deadly tone, but Bull shook his head.

"That's for you to do, soldier. You crossed the line when you touched her." Bull warned him in his low and steady Arkansas accent.

"Doubtful." The soldier spat back at him. My neck twitched again, having me ride out the seizure in my neck and hands as Luz was still holding me back against him, thinking that I was going to do something. That or I needed comfort from what I just went through.

"I should cut off your hands for what you did to her. You have a lot of nerves." Joe growled in a deadly tone to the soldier, who know looked at him and a small grin was on his face now.

"Oh, you're the brother? Liegbott from Easy? I thought I recognized the smug Jewish look on her face along with yours, nice family resemblance." He spat at my brother, having me now glare at him. That was it, he had no right to insult my lineage and my brother. I shoved my way through the men, and before they could stop me, I punched the man square in the jaw. He toppled to the floor, the sound deafening in the air as he was now clutching his jaw in a death grip and was looking up at me with wide eyes. Both of my eyes were wide and my hands were making fists, and I heard nothing behind me. Not for a second really, since they were all floored from what I did.

"Say something smart, one more time. I fucking dare you." I growled at him, towering over him and seeing him shaking slightly from the boom in my voice. I didn't move, I didn't want to. The anger that was soaring through me as I had a twitch my neck one more time before I felt Joe grab my arm gently from behind, silently telling me to breathe and calm down. I knew that grab, he did it to me so many times before I would go overboard. That was the hold he would give through a seizure, both voluntary and involuntary seizures. He knew, and he was trying to warn me.

"I can report you for this." He threatened me from the floor.

"And what would it look like for you? A soldier who's tough stuff reporting assault from a female….what a reputation you'll get from around here." Malarky replied in a casual tone, but I could tell there was a lace of hate in his voice. The soldier was now horrified, since this meant he would look weak if he reported what happened. Being beat up by a girl, that was the ultimate shame. He didn't want that. He just got up slowly, having me watch him carefully and I felt Joe pressing up behind me, along with Bull. They were all staring at him harshly, to see if he was going to make one more move on me. But the soldier wandered off, not looking back and having me sigh in relief. Joe twirled me around so he can hug me, the first time he hugged me since we got in the army.

"You okay Jemmy?" He asked me against my hair, having me nod my head as the others were looking at me too in concern. But it was Malarky who smirked at me.

"I didn't think you had it in you," He explained in a thoughtful tone, "But you're tough."

"Tough as a gem." Luz said in a smirk, looking right at me with a wink on his face, "I think you just got your nickname in Easy: Jem. Pretty to look at, but deadly to break." For the first time that night, I smiled. I earned my name with the boys, though it was a unique spin on my name. Did what Luz say was true: pretty to look at and tough to break? Was I such a thing? I and no clue.

But I was Jem.


	6. Chapter 6

We were now at Fort Benning, our new destination before we were going to find out where we were going right after when it came to the war. With the incident with the soldier who was giving me abuse in the dead of night, the rest of Easy Company found out and knew about it, giving the same soldier death glares if he was coming anywhere near me. But he knew his place, since he had a swollen jaw that was almost black and blue. Someone asked him the morning after I gave him the bruise how it happened, having me see him look over in my direction. He was watching me if not me than the rest of Easy Company whom was behind me and waiting to hear what he was going to say.

"I tripped." He replied.

As soon as we got to Fort Benning, we were going to be training to become paratroopers, and Sobel was trying to ground us to the floor more and more as we were jumping off platforms and raised stands in order to see how we were supposed to land. It would seem easy, but with Sobel breathing down our necks, it made it worse for us since after every jump he would tell us what we did wrong.

I had it the worst. Since every time I jumped off the fake platform of the airplane that was set up, landing in a way that I thought was right, Sobel kept telling me I was wrong. I would either always break my legs or my neck. He always had something bad to say to me, and there was never one praise coming out of his mouth. Even though he was like that to all of the men, he would stay silent with a couple and that meant that he approved. But not with me, and it got me frustrated after at least 6 jumps I had to do in front of him in order to get some kind of approval from him.

I threw my towel in frustration against the wall as I was in my new cabin, falling to the cot and resting my head in my hands. I hated that he was calling me out personally, and I knew he was doing it. Since I was a female in his Company, he saw a weak spot in me and how I was working on his team. But I was trying far too hard to show that I belonged with his men. Even his men were seeing me as one of their own, not some female trying to break the mold.

"Hang in there, Jem." I looked up and over, seeing Luz and Eugene walk in from their own training that we all went through. I sighed and looked back down at my hands that were in front of me, folded on my knees and I was trying to breathe normally again. Eugene sat next to me, having me feel the dip in the cot as Luz sat across from me on the other cot.

"He hates me." I stated out loud, my voice was bitter.

"And that bothers you?" Luz asked me in a careful manner. I looked up at me, clutching my hands together in a death group in order to somehow harness the hate I was feeling. All because of Sobel.

"No Luz, he _hates _me." I punctuated at him, seeing him look at me seriously now from across the way. I saw Eugene next to me do nothing, but he was giving me those eyes again: the eyes of caring and sadness. I hated seeing those eyes because they made me want to be emotional myself.

"He hates everyone, Jem. Everyone knows he has much more than a stick up his ass." Luz reminded me, having me see a small grin on his face. He was trying to cheer me up, and I just smiled back slightly even though I was still annoyed with the fact that I was Sobel's personal target.

"I think you did good today." Eugene said to me softly next to me, his soothing accent was coming over me like water. I smiled at him, seeing him give me a soft smile that I knew was under the radar that he never really showed to anyone.

"Thanks, Eugene." I thanked him, seeing Luz look at the both of us with a glint on his eye, getting up from the cot and stretching.

"I'm gonna…..talk to someone." He blurted out, then going out of the caving to leave me there alone with Eugene. We both grinned from his antic then, having me stare over at Eugene again and rub my fingers in my hair.

"It's just hard, you know? I'm not to take failure lightly." I explained to him, seeing him nod his head as he then looked down at his own folded hands on his knees.

"I'm the same." He replied back, having me watch him as he was looking at his folded hands, "When I first got here, I felt like I couldn't get anything right. I was always messing up on things that weren't simple, and Sobel was always there breathing down my neck and making me feel less of a person and more of a garbage bag."

"How did you get past it?" I asked him in wonder, seeing him pause for it a moment to think to himself. I liked how his face looked when he was thinking: it was showing concentrating and how his eyes wrinkled together and his mouth stayed solid in a line.

"I pushed myself, made myself better." He said in a reply, looking back over at me with warm blue eyes, "I stopped listening to the lies of Sobel, since half of what comes out of his mouth are lies, and I just listen to my own thoughts and what I wanted to do." I grinned from hearing him say this. Who knew he and this amount go wisdom behind those eyes and that accent? Damn, he was making me feel like a silly school girl with a crush. He was just kind enough for me to handle, and I loved every part of it.

"Well, you are practically perfect in everything you do." I commented to him, seeing him grin and shake his own eyes.

"Yeah right. Way to butter me up there, Jemima." He said in return. I just grinned at him.

"I'm not buttering you up about something that is true." I countered with him. It was nice to have a nice moment between the both of us since recently we've been having to run around with our own schedules and training. I loved talking to him, since it was calming me down from anything that would be haunting me or making me go into a seizure. It was like he was my own brand of medicine.

"Do you miss home?" Eugene asked me suddenly, out of the blue and having me pause to think about it. Home, a place that I thought I was going to be fine without. But now that it was haunting my mind like a dream, just thinking about it over and over with the simple house I grew up in and my siblings, it was now giving me an aching feeling in my heart.

"Sometimes I do." I explained to him softly, "I do miss my family and seeing them every day."

"You have other siblings?" he asked me, shifting a bit so he can face me more.

"I have four others. Joe and I are the eldest." I replied, seeing him smirk at me. He now looked interested in hearing more from me, which was a first with a guy showing that kind of interest to me. That sounded depressing, but it was true.

"Tell me about them." He urged me, having me then think about what I was going to tell him. I was still clutching my hands in a death grip, my brain was still stressed about Sobel and how I was his punching bag. But I then took in a shaky breath, getting my bearings again.

"There's Anthony, he's 25 years old. He's just as deviant as Joe is when it comes to fights, even broke a few bones in his fingers from fights he's been in. And after him is Delilah, who's 23 and she's the little princess of the family. Well, compared to me she is. She prefers dresses and makeup, though for me it's a pain to have on every day." Eugene smiled widely from hearing about my younger sister as my fingers were still tight against each other. I could picture it her in my head: her long flowing brown hair that was wavy and luscious. She was always looked on by boys and was always asked to dances. A good part of my life wished I had that, with any guy. So it was no surprise that I was jealous of her, from time to time.

"And Harry just turned 18, graduated from high school by now since Joe and I left for the army. He loves to learn about music. He started playing the guitar when it was around 5 years old, learned from my grandfather who came over to America once on a trip. Ever since then he's been playing like a crazy musician and he's been doing good, real good. And the youngest is Elizabeth, she just turned 16 and loves to read more books than I ever did. I would give her a book for her birthday every year, and she would give me one for Christmas too." After I told him about my family, I then felt all of the sadness and pain that was coming through me from Sobel falling away from me and into the ground. I was no longer mad at him, no longer having the agitation going through my blood system. Even my hands that were once clutched tightly were now limp in front of me.

I looked over at him, seeing him still watch me carefully with the smile never leaving his face I then smiled for the first time since I started talking about my siblings. I realized what he was doing, and he was being far too sneaky about it though it didn't show in his smile.

"You were distracting me?" I asked him carefully, seeing him shift in his spot against me on the bed.

"I was trying' to get you to think about something else, since I like you when you're happy, not when you're angry." He explained casually, though I could see the look in his eye that he was really trying to be back from going on a hate reel with Sobel. I just felt glad that I had him for that as a friend, someone who was looking after me and making sure that I wasn't going to loose myself in fits of anger or pain. I saw him now more than a combat medic, he was a soothing soul that was hidden behind the cold stare that others saw. But he was observant, he saw that I was angry and he soothed me by just having me think of something else.

"Thank you, Eugene." I thanked him wholeheartedly. He just smiled at me, the big smile that was rare on his face that he would give, but it lit up the room.

"You're welcome." He merely replied, having me shrug my shoulders.

"Tell me about your family." I suggested, seeing him chuckle next to me as he then cleared his own throat.

"Surprisingly, I am an only child. So my mother and father weren't too glad to hear that I joined the army," He explained to me, having me sit and watch him with interest as he went on, "My mother's name is Maude. She's gorgeous, at least to me, loves to sing in French. She was the one who taught me French, her mother's from France and they came over here back in the day. Now my father, his name is Ed, and he's a bit of a tough as nails kind of guy. He works with lumber, and he's been doing it since he was 17."

"How deprived, to not have any siblings." I said in a sarcastic tone, seeing him chuckle next to me.

"Eh, I've always wanted a brother or sister. But I had plenty of cousins, along with Aunts and Uncles. In fact, my Uncle and Grandmother are traiteurs, which get me interested in healing in the first place." He explained some more, having me now look at him in confusion.

"What's a traiteur?" I asked him in wonder, finding myself scooting a bit closer to him.

"It's the practice of faith healing. When someone is sick, or if they got hurt, a traiteur would place their hands out on them," Eugene started, placing his own hands out in front of him as if he was about to start the practice, "And they would pray over the area or person. It's worked, well, it did with my grandmother. She would pray over anything, simple as the cold or flu, to someone as big as cancer or polio. I've seen her at work with it, and it has cured everything she does pray over." I was enraptured with the thought go praying over a wound of a dying body. They way he explained it was so smooth, as if he has explained it before.

"That's fascinating." I breathed out as he placed his hands back on his lap.

"She's an amazing woman. She doesn't do it a whole lot anymore, but my Uncle picked it up when he was very young." Eugene added.

"And you believed that it worked?" I asked him in curiosity. He was still something else in my mind, even just the two of us sitting there on the cot and talking about our families. I knew I could see him as a solid friend in my life, someone I can relate to in this time since we were training to go to war. But was there something deeper within the both of us, for each other?

"Well, sure. I was raised that prayer can do a lot of things." He simply replied and we had out nice moment there, alone in the cabin.

For the first time that day, I had a sense of peace come over me again.

All from Eugene "Doc" Roe.

* * *

><p>On the day of the training jump, I was more petrified that I was going to do it wrong since I was still feeling the breath of Sobel down my neck from not doing the jumps properly. But after some reassurance from some of the men, including Eugene, I felt ready to take the jump out of the plane.<p>

After I had my talk with Eugene on the cot in the cabin, Winters suggested that I took a couple more jumps as practice, and he would watch me. He got permission from Sink to supervise my jump, along with the paratrooper teacher. Sobel was nowhere near me as I was jumping at least three more times, under their watchful eyes and they saw that I was good enough. So it must have meant that Sobel had a personal vendetta against me, me because I was a woman in a man's world.

So on the morning of the jump, I was walking towards the plan pretty prepared and with adrenaline in my jump system, though I took my medication that morning just in case I would have an episode. It was getting worse and worse for me, trying to hide my sickness from the rest of the men. There were times when I and to sneak out from the boys to ride out a minor seizure that was going through my arms and legs, I blamed the intense training and the stress of all the learning I had to do. I was hoping and praying that I was not going to go through something like this that morning after I jumped, or even before I jumped. But as I met with the rest of the men there on the airfield, going over to our plane that we were going to take with our paratrooper jumping uniform with our packs ready to go.

"You ready to jump, Jem?" Muck asked me as I joined the group of Easy Company men on the pavement in front of our plane. I was going to jump with Eugene, Muck, Malarky, Lipton, Toye, and Johnny Martin. The rest of our men were going to be in the other plane with Sobel as we were going to be with Winters and Nixon. I was glad not to be anywhere near Sobel, since he would be watching me like a hawk, I hated that look. But it was nice and reassuring that I had others in the Company who believed in me and wanted me to somewhat spit in Sobel's face when it came to jumping.

"Hell yeah, can't wait to fly." I commented back to him, seeing him smirk at me and give a chuckle as I was handed a helmet to wear. I grabbed it, placing it under my arm as I pushed my own hair back into a high bun, and then wearing a light purple bandana that I had around my head to hold down my hair. Once the bandana was on, I got my helmet on and we were called to go onto the plane.

Ascending into the clouds, I took a deep breath as we were waiting to be called up and do our protocol. I could feel the airplane underneath me as I sat on the small stool next to Muck and Johnny Martin, I could hear the engine and the blades of the plane going through the sky so loudly that it rang in my ears, and I could breathe in the fumes of the plane about the the typical BO from the other men. But my mind was in another place. I tried to think of a happier time, a good time that would always bring me peace and quiet to my brain.

Joe and I were 6 years old, the both of us running around in the park near the Golden Gate Bridge, our parents were occupied with my two other siblings who were on the blanket as Joe and I were playing tag with each other. I could remember the green trees above us, shielding us from the hot sun and the heat from the summer day, seeing the crystal blue waters of the bay and the cool wind that came over our heads and onto our skin. I could hear us giggling in the afternoon at each other, calling each other by our nicknames and our parents just smiling. That was the one memory that I would go to whenever I was depressed or going onto a seizure moment. It made me relax, slowing down my pains and my brain waves to having it go back to normal since my brain was typical always on overload over and over again.

"Get ready! Stand up! Hook up! Check Equipment! Sound off for equipment check!" I opened my eyes, hearing the signal for us to get up and check the man in front of us with their supplies. I looked behind me slightly, seeing that it was Johnny Martin that had to check me. He looked rather grimaced about it, eyeing me carefully and I could see the discomfort in his eyes since he did have a wife back at home. This must of been awkward for him to do this to another woman.

"Sorry, Jem." He said in a roar over the sound of the engine, but I shook my head.

"I don't mind, Martin." I replied, seeing him nod his head and start his check on me as I did the same with Muck. Once Muck was done with the person in front of him, he looked over his shoulder at me and I saw a grin on his face as I was checking his equipment.

"Don't start." I warned him over the roaring engine. He just laughed as I patted him shoulder. We were counting down from the back to the front.

"Six okay!"

"Five Okay!"

"Four Okay!" I yelled out loud, hearing Muck say his number and we went down the line until we were ready to jump. Following the leader, I felt my heart going faster and faster as we were getting closer and closer to the door. As soon as I saw Muck jump, I had a moment of pure panic as I was about to jump out of the plane and into the air. But I took a deep breath, rethinking of why I was here in the army and how I wanted to help others and save them. But was my own life worth saving? With what I had going on in my life with my seizures, was I worth it?

That hung in my brain as I jumped out of the plane and floated down to the ground.

I landed on the grass within a minute or so being in the air, landing in a heap and feeling like it was nothing compared to what I thought it was going to be like. It felt easy, but I had no idea why my own neck started to twitch and my head was about to go blank again, Within a few seconds, I threw off my helmet, breathing in and out in a rapid pace as my neck and arms were twitching now. I was on my knees in the field, thinking I was by myself as I rode out my seizure, trying to figure out why this was happening to me now? Did I get a rush of energy? Did my medication decide not to work right now? I was panicking.

It took a solid minute before I as finished with my episode, breathing out one shaky breath and then sighing in defeat. This was going to be harder than I thought, trying to manage my Epilepsy without the others in my Company knowing and getting scared for me. I was too damn prideful for showing my weakness to the others and to be as less as good enough. I had to find a way, any kind of way. But as I opened my eyes again, I saw someone look at me from far away, not moving or not saying anything. They saw my episode, and I was about to react when they turned around with their parachute in their arms, walking away to our destination spot. I had no idea who it was.

But I knew I was discovered.

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><p>"1000, 2000, 3000, 4000…" I drank my own beer next to Toye at one of the raised tables and stools as we heard the men chanting Guarnene to drink down his beer in a fast rate, having me grin and watch from my spot. We were celebrating that we were all paratroopers now, eating our wings. MY own set was on my new uniform that was tailored for me: finally. I was glad to have a jacket that was not swallowing me down, or even pants that were not baggy. I was wearing a new uniform that was fit for a female, and my wings were there clearly, along with the patch go medic on the arm with the airborne eagle and my ranking there as well. I had my hair down and pulled away from me face as I was sitting next to Toye, who was just sitting in content.<p>

"Hi Ho Silver!" Guarnene said aloud in a grin as he finished his beer. I looked behind me, seeing Eugene with Spina and Martin and Perctone, all of them were talking to each other, but Eugene was just listening. He looked over at me then, smiling at me with his own beer in hand as I smiled back. My heart fluttered again as I looked away, thinking that blush was going to show. Toye and I were then approached by Luz, who walked over to Toye with a smirk on his face.

"Cpl. Toye. There will be no leaning in my company," he was imitating Sobel, in which I was giggling in my spot as he then approached the both of us, now looking at Toye with his grin, "Are those dusty jump wings? How do you expect to slay the Huns with dust on your jump wings?!"

"Luz," Toye started, pulling him into his space by his tie lightly with a serious look on his face, "Just give me a drink." I grinned from ear to ear as Luz did as well, grabbing a beer for Toye.

"Hell of an idea Toye, Three miles up, three miles down." He said to them, and then looking over to me, "And for the first dame to jump out of a plane in Easy Company history, to Jem."

"Three miles up, three miles down." I repeated him all three of us taking a drink and smiling through the satisfaction that we jumped out of a plane and earned the right to be in the army. It was a nice feeling for me, having another accomplishment user my belt. But we were then called to attention, having all of us stand up at attention as Colonel Sink was walking into the room at the front on the stage, we were all watching him now with our intense stances, waiting to hear what he wanted to tell us.

"Good evening, Easy Company." He said to all of us.

"Evening, sir!" we all replied in unison.

"Now, Parachute Infantry is a brand new concept in American military history. But by God, that 506 is gonna fire that brand new concept into victory." he explained with satisfaction in his voice.

"Yes Sir." We replied again to him, with passion in our voice.

"I want you to know that I'm damn proud of each and every one of you. Now, you deserve this party. So I want you to have fun, and remember our motto: Currahee!" I was just glad that I made it this far in the military, being the only female in this Company already made me feel like I was carrying so much weight on my shoulders and on my back. But to know that I did this, on my own with no help, and I had people right behind me that were willing to fight for me and make me believe in myself, It was enough for me to keep pushing forward. I had no idea what the future was going to hold, nor was I going to try and figure it out. Because I had one new saying to have in my heart.

Hi Ho Silver.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading the story. If you haven't read my other Band of Brothers story, it's called Marley La Noux and her Band of Brothers! Go give that a read and I hope you guys like this one so far, leave a review. <strong>

**IF you have criticism for me or helpful hints to make it better, I only hope you ask that you MESSAGE ME, DO NOT LEAVE IT IN THE REVIEW! Thanks for the reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**May, 1943**

**Camp Mackall, North Carolina**

"Oi, Jem!" I looked up from my paperwork that I was going over in my quarters to see who was calling me from outside my window. One year going into the war and I was still getting my bearings around the army when it came to my reputation. Not only was I getting a bass amount of respect and admiration from the men because of me punching out one man in one swipe, but they too saw me in a new light because of me jumping out of a airplane. A lot of the men were seeing me as one of them, not just my Company. Although it was still something I was trying to get used to, I was no longer the outsider.

Not in my mind at least.

I still made friends with the other Combat Medics, since I knew in the future that I might have to rely on them if I ever needed supplies or an extra pair of hands. They were all just as nice and respectable as I thought they would be though I was mostly around Spina and Eugene. Eugene and I would hang out together, when we would have medical training instead of regular soldier training. I loved having light conversations with him, mostly about books and what kind of books I was clearly interested in. The rest of Easy were getting under my skin too, in a good way. I saw them more as friends now instead of comrades, people I could go to for both a light conversation and meaningful talks. They were all growing close to my heart, having me wonder if I was willing to put my own neck on the line for them. Would they for me? Would they be willing to know about my Epilepsy and be fine with it?

"Out here." I looked again, seeing that it was coming from the window next to my bed in the cabin. Swinging my leg over my cot and peering over at the window, I saw a head pop up from the outside. I grinned, seeing that it was Luz who was giving me a massive grin on his face and his head tilted to the side. Of course, he would want to poke his own head outside my window, and I just grinned at him.

"Can I help you, Luz?" I asked him placing my hands on the window frame as I eyed him from inside the cabin. He looked mischievous, as if he was up to something. Hell, that was his face all the time.

"You are needed outside our cabin for an impromptu meeting." He explained in a smokey accent, almost sounding like Sobel again. I rolled my eyes, clearing not buying that he was hiding something from me.

"Come on, Luz. What's going on here? Can't you see I'm tryin' to do some real work here?" I asked him, pointing to the stack of papers that I had to fill out for some of the members in Easy Company. He kept his composure though, not caving in as he spoke once more.

"Don't ask questions, just get your lanky ass out here before I sent Bull in to snag you himself." Luz threatened, having me glare at him now and almost give him a snarl.

"I'd like to see you try." I warned him carefully, hearing him chuckle.

"Shut up Liebgott and get out here." He finally said back to me in a breathy tone. I grumbled, getting up from the bed and finally deciding to join him outside. I had no clue that he was going to do, and what he was up to, but I wasn't going to be a stickler and not show up for him. Walking over to the front door, I grabbed my combat jacket over my white medic shirt. I threw my hair up in a messy bun, the long bangs were framing my face as I opened the door to my cabin and walking out two steps before I was then bombarded by Bull, who then picked me up over his shoulder. I squealed in retaliation, trying to get down, but his force was far overbearing my own.

"What in the hell!" I said in protest as he walked, me over his shoulder and seeing the cabin getting smaller and smaller and he was taking us over the green grass area. Luz joined him, looking cheeky as I was giving him a brooding look on my own face.

"Hey, it was either you coming out and this happening or Bull comin' in himself to snag ya. Be glad you chose to come out yourself." Luz reassured me.

"Where are we going? Are ya going to tell me that?" I asked him in a gruff tone.

"Nope." Bull answered shortly with me, having me punch him in the shoulder, "Oh gee, Jem. That one really did hurt me."

"Go to hell." I snapped at him, "Where are you takin' me?"

"Can't tell you. We are sworn to secrecy and if we spill the beans then we shall be killed on the spot." Luz answered in a more officer like an accent. I was still trying to get out of Bull's grip on my middle, but it was no use. I sighed in defeat, hearing Bull chuckle and the vibrations of his laugh were against my own body.

"Better to just go with it: resistance is futile." Bull explained to me in his own tone of gruff.

"Apparently with you boys. Is this even allowed, thrown' a girl over your shoulder and carrying her like she's some kind of lumber stack?" I grumbled at him as we were turning a corner to what looked like a deserted cabin, no lights were on and nothing was moving around on the inside. This was even more suspicious on their park.

"You're not a girl: you're an Easy Company soldier. Get it right, now quit before you break a nail." Luz explained to me in a playfully harsh tone.

"You would like to see me break a nail, would ya?" I snarled back as we were right in front of the chain now, though Bull was walking up to the door.

"It's funny how people are still wonderin' how you and Joe are related, when clearly it's all about your sassiness and how you making everything difficult. And _why_ aren't you married yet?" Luz asked me in a nonchalant manner. I only flipped him off, seeing him grin from ear to ear at me. I was about to answer him when Bull finally lowered me to the floor. I just glared at him, though I had to crane my neck in order to look at his eyes. Bull just smirked, crossing his arms in front of him.

"Don't expect any kind of kiss from me." I explained, jabbing my finger into his chest and he chuckled.

"Just open the door and no one will get hurt." He reassured me, gently nudging me to the door. I gave him a hard look before going to the front door, pausing for a moment before I placed my hand on the doorknob. There had to be something up their sleeve, having me really curious and irritated that they were not going to tell me why they practically attacked me and took me from doing my work.

"I hope you know, if I get an earful from my Head Combat Medic about not getting the paperwork done, I will personally punch the both of you." I warned them both as I looked over my shoulder. Bull just sighed as Luz looked more irritated as I was not going to open the door. Not yet.

"Fine, you can punch us. Just open the Goddamn door. Dear God, you're worse than your own twin." Luz complained to me, having me wink at him before opening the door finally. I heard nothing, saw nothing as there was darkness in the cabin. I walked in carefully, thinking that I was about to have a sneak attack flung on me from someone in the Company. But I could only hear my breathing as I walked in a few more steps into the cabin, wondering what in the hell was about happen. If it was one thing that I hated, it was surprises.

So it was no real big surprise when the lights were on quickly from the switch and then I heard "Surprise!". I blinked, seeing a sea of faces from Easy Company and some of the Nurses that I befriended the past year. They were all smiling at me, cheering and my heart was about to jump right out of my chest. I grinned, wanting to be mad at all of them but I couldn't since they were all going closer and closer to my heart. There was warmth in my stomach there, the warmth of pure adoration and love for a group of people that I never thought I would get from the army. They were all there, and they were trying to cheering for me for some reason.

"What in the hell?" I asked aloud in an out of breath manner as I saw Joe move through the sea of familiar faces and walk over to me with his own grin. I was blushing mad then, having me look at him carefully as he stood in front of me.

"They bombarded me too, and then Bull and Luz left to find you." Joe explained to me in a huge grin on his face, though I was still confused as to why I was here and why they were saying surpass to me.

"What's going on anyways?" I asked him, seeing him eye me with a questioning look as if this was clear to him and not to me. I kept my eyes on him as he shifted with his footing.

"You know what today is?" He asked me in amusement, having me think of why today was somewhat special. It was a Monday, and it was Mid May. I then realized, having me feel more like a fool since it was the fact that I forgot clearly what today was. Days were coming and going in the army, and for me to keep track of what was happening on a calendar was the last thing I wanted to do. Nursing and Combat Medic training was taking over my life and making it more and more stressful for me. So now I looked like a fool, and I smiled at Joe and I saw him smile back, since he knew that I realized what day it was. May 17th.

"Our birthday." I said back to him in a breathy tone, rubbing my face with my hands and I could hear him chuckle from me trying to hide the blush of embarrassment on my face and in my stance.

"_Gottverdammte_ (Goddamn) I forgot about our birthday." I said in a miserable tone, seeing Joe just shake his head with the grin still on my face.

"They made it worse for me, giving me hell from the moment I walked in and I almost tore them all up good." Joe reassured me, giving me a hug and I hugged him back. I could hear someone turning on a record player in the background, band music being played and the friends all around us were talking amongst each other and having a good time while I was talking to my brother on our birthday. I noticed the boys also grabbed some tin cans from the mess hall and some bottles were passed around.

"Clearly, since they love you so much for your kindness and gentle spirit." I countered with him, seeing him give me a playful glare and shove me lightly in the shoulder.

"Hey, quit being a bitch and have a good time right now, okay? You deserve it more than me." He explained to me back in his gruff tone, having me grin back as I saw a couple of people approaching us, giving me nice and gently hugs as they were clapping Joe on the back. They were all wishing up happy birthday, and even Toye and Malarky came over with grins on their faces.

"You should have seen the look on your brother's face: pure shock and hate. Does he even like having a surprise birthday thrown for him?" Malarky asked me in confusion as I looked over at Joe, who was talking to Lipton and Perctone and they were joking about something.

"Nope. When we turned fifteen he almost lost it. We both aren't very good with surprises, but I think I'm a bit worse since I'm the more reasonable one between the both of us." I explained back to him, seeing him grin from what he heard.

"Well, we heard that your birthday was coming up and we decided to get you both a nice afternoon off from doing anything. We smuggled in some apple cider from the mess hall, although it's not the real stuff it's good enough for us." Malarky explained to me though I raised my eyebrow at him and crossed my arms in front of me.

"And how did you find out that it was our birthday?" I asked him, as if I was a mother about to scold their son in front of his friends.

"We found out in your file," Toye answered for him, having me now look at him with a confused look on my face, "We saw a stack of files on one of the officer's desk when I was trying to find some information about Guarnene…if he was in fact allergic to something that I was going to use as a prank." The last part he mumbled as if he was trying to cover up that last piece of information. I just grinned at him, seeing that he was trying to be so tough and yet he was innocent about it.

"Anyways, we found your file and noticed that your birthday was coming up, and since you're our only dame in the Company and you tend to be our rhyme of reason," Malarky continued on with the story, though I gave him a questioning look when he called me the rhyme of reason in the Company, "We wanted it to be a special day for you."

"Well, thank you very much. Although I hate surprises, I appreciate it." I thanked them both. It was a nice thought of them to do this for Joe and I, and we both were growing closer to these men there. I moved away from the two of them and over to the nurses whom I met there and who came with us from Camp Toccoa, talking to them and hearing them say Happy Birthday. I was kind of glad that I and other women there who were just as kind and just as friendly as the men were to me in my Company. After say hi to all of them, I ran into Alice, who was the last one to come over and hug me. I hugged her back, seeing her smooth out my brown waves with her delicate fingers, though I was still seeing that she was beyond beautiful.

"I'm glad you're here. I was worried that I would be here with all boys." I explained as she just shook her head.

"Oh goodness no. David told me that plan among the boys," Alice replied, having me look away from her and around seeing Webster, who was talking to Martin and Joe and they were just bickering back and forth with each other, though Webster looked over at the both of us and having me see him smile from seeing Alice. That one look was the sudden realization: he liked her. He liked Alice.

"Not to mention that I got the rest of the girls in on the plan too, since I figured you wanted more women than just a group of rowdy boys." She soothed me, having me grin at her and give her a wink, though she giggled. I looked past her at some of the nurses talking to some of the boys from Easy already, getting to know each other and they were having a good time. I chuckled.

"Well they are getting along just nicely from where I'm at, not to mention you and Webster getting along together quite famously." I said amused, though I saw her look a bit flattered and a hint of red was on her perfect cheeks.

"Oh please, Jemmie. I don't think there's anything going to happen there." She reassured, but I shook my head.

"That's not what I see." I commented, seeing her just grin and turn her heel at me, walking away and I giggled. I give her credit: she may be as beautiful as an angel, but she was also too kind for this kind of war. Her grace in the room was enough, enough for all of us to fall in love with her. I just sighed in relief, actually pretty glad that I wasn't in front of a bunch of paperwork and now being able to chit chat with my friends. But then again, I still felt like an idiot for forgetting my own birthday. I saw nothing real big about my birthday always, though that made me feel more like a Debbie Downer. But my thoughts came into a halt when I saw Eugene Roe walk over to me. I didn't see him in the sea of people, not at first since I was too flustered about the whole thing. But he was walking over, something was in his hand behind his back and a grin was on his face. I was so used to the serious looking face on Eugene when it came to training and doing medicine, but the smile he would have would make the world stop turning in front of me.

"Happy birthday, Jemima." He congratulated me, having me grin and nod my head at him once.

"Thank you, Eugene. I was a bit surprised about it." I explained to him with a shrug of my shoulders.

"You don't do birthdays?" He asked in a confusing tone though I grinned from seeing the look of innocence in his eyes.

"Not a whole lot." I replied casually, seeing him look a bit hesitant and then pulling out was behind him. It was a book, having me watch him and he was holding it now with both of his hands, the same hands that were bred to work with medicine and to help people, and he was holding it like his life depended on it.

"I found this and I thought you would like it." He explained, being a bit bashful about it as he handed it to me. I took it carefully, touching the cover with my fingers and seeing the title of the book: _The Waste Land and Other Poems _of T.S. Eliot. I wonder at first why he thought of me when he found the book, but then again I remembered plenty of times when we would talk about me loving to read books. I have read T.S. Eliot a couple of times, and I loved how he wrote things in his books. I never thought I would get a present while I was in the army, let alone from Eugene. But then again, it was Eugene, of all people in Easy who was more prone to give small bursts of brilliance. So now that he was giving me a book for my birthday, and I was feeling as though I was given the most precious gift in the world. I grinned, the warmth in my stomach was coming back over my again every time I would see Eugene or hear his voice.

"I didn't know if you read this one, you talked about reading the author a couple of times, and I asked Alice though she had no idea…" Eugene trailed off, trying to have his case be heard but I looked up at him, placing my hand on his own that was folded in front of him since he was looking at me, waiting for approval.

"Thank you." I sincerely thanked him, seeing him finally smile big at me again. He looked healthy again, no longer under stress from Sobel and with bags under his eyes from the sleepless nights of work and studying medicine. He was handsome from what I could see. But it wasn't the appearance that he and that made him handsome, though he had good features. He was his smile, the kindness in his tone of voice, and how he carried himself, that made him beyond handsome.

"You're welcome. I wanted to give you something nice." He explained to me in a calm manner.

"Way to be subtle with me when it comes to flirting with me." I joked with him, though he chuckled.

"I try really hard actually. I'm not really good to talk with girls, but I'm known to have a smile that's a lady killer. " He replied back smoothly, having me now look at him in surpass.

"Well, what do ya know, Eugene Roe can dish it out like the rest of us." I commented to him, seeing him just grin and chuckle from in front of me. I was glad to have a friendly conversation with the guy, and I looked back down at the book in front of me, opening it to a random page and reading out loud what I was seeing:

" '_And the lost heart stiffens and rejoices in the lost lilac and the lost sea voices and the weak spirit quickens to rebel for the bent golden-rod and the lost sea smell quickens to recover.' " _I quoted from the book, a grin on my face and how it was sounding when I spoke it out of my lips. Something about reading that passage from my book that Eugene gave me. It sounded heavenly, having me realize that I was now going to be reading this book over and over now on my spare time and being fine with it. I would rather get lost in a book than get lost in a fight and with my temper, something that clearly made me contrast with my brother whom though reading was like pulling teeth.

I looked back up, seeing Eugene watching me now with a glint in his eye. He looked almost inscrutable but then it clicked. I knew that glint, but it was not from Eugene. It was the same glint that I would see in young lovers, in the eyes of Joe when he would bring home a new girlfriend, or even in the movies when the two people meet for the first time before they would fall in love. There was always a thought in my life that I would never get that look, have those feelings of warmth in my stomach and that glint in someone's eyes towards me. But here I was, 28 years old and was standing in front of someone whom had the opposite personality as me, and he was making me feel like I was the only person in the world and I was all that he wanted to look at.

It made me realize: I had feeling for Eugene Roe.

"What?" I asked him, now a bit confused as to why he was looking at me that way.

"I never read any T.S. Eliot, and I like how it sounded when you read it." He explained to me, putting his hands behind his back since I could tell he and no idea what else to do with his hands.

"Is this you trying to flirt with me?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, seeing him grin from ear to ear again and no longer feeling a bit out of place as I cocked my head at him, "Is Eugene Roe flirting? This must be some kind of miracle."

"Okay, okay, place nice," He tried to not have me embarrass him, though I laughed and he kept his grin on his face, "I'm just trying to be nice to you. I like how to read aloud, some people aren't as good at it as you are."

"Well, thank you. If I wasn't going into medicine, I would have made a living reading books out loud." I joked with him though I heard another nice song coming on through the record player. We both looked, seeing some of the soldiers dancing with the nurses since the song was nice and slow. They were just dancing together, although I could tell they were into each other and talking sweet to one another. This only reminded me of high school dances and outings with my own friends, when I would be a fly on the wall compared to the others who were getting boys left and right.

"Come on." Eugene said to me, grabbing my hand and taking me over to the couples that were dancing. What was he doing? Was he out of his mind, taking me over there to dance. I thought I was the bold one, but he was now taking me there as if we were already a couple and having our own moment there on the dance floor in the abandoned cabin.

"Eugene, I don't dance." I hissed and I looked at him faintly, not wanting it to be heard by anyone around. He just grinned in front of me.

"Don't or can't?" He asked me, now being the cocky one.

"You know what I mean." I replied, seeing him them place one arm on my waist and the other hand was still holding my own like I was far too delicate for him to handle. My heart was now going at a speed that I was not used, but this time I was not afraid that my Epilepsy was going to get the best of me. This time was the fact that I was far too nervous and excited and scared that his hand was on my waist and he was being so bold with me. Who was he to be bold? That was my job in the relationship.

"I can show you how since I learned from the best." Eugene reassured me, as we started to sway back and forth on the floor. I felt as though we were being watched, though none of the others seemed to mind since they were too busy talking to each other and laughing about jokes and other meaningless things. But then again I was petrified, since I had no idea what I was doing.

"And who would that be?" I asked him with a set look on my face, suddenly realizing that we were very close to one another now instead of having a bit of space between us. I could see how warm his eyes were, how his black also had some shade of blue to it from the light above us, and how his jawline looked and made him more handsome that I gave him credit for. Looking at him this close, was making me loose my own breath.

"My mother." He answered, having me grin at him as he was clearly leading the dance between the both of us. It was nice, just going back and forth and just liking the fact that we were sharing this moment with each other. Is this what Joe felt when he would dance with a pretty girl at a dance? Or even what my parents felt when they would dance together in the living room when they thought we weren't watching around the corner. I had no real explanation as to why this would happen when we were about to go to war, but it was. Eugene was someone whom I would never pick out in a crowd that would make me feel this. Was it his kindness and the way he would calm me down to earth other than being too brash and outspoken, or even how he looked at me from afar that would make want to blush mad.

We were just smiling at each other, acting like old friends who were just being comfortable with one another. Hell, we were good friends. We knew a lot about each other then, and over the past year of talks in the mess hall and with medical training, I could consider him someone that I could go to about anything. But there was still a hesitancy there, as we swayed back and forth with the music. Was he going to be accepting of my Epilepsy? Would he care? Why would I think that he wouldn't care? He was far too caring, and for him to not care about me and my disability would be a total lie. I was just glad I found him in a time that called for sanity, since I fear that I would lose it when I take my first step on the battle ground. And to make it worse: I was getting feeling for Eugene. The way he held me close as we dance, how he looked at me and smiled, it made me wonder if he liked me too. But I was far too complicated, too brash like my brother, and too proud to find help with my own demons. So it made me wonder, was it right what I was doing?

Falling love with a combat medic?

* * *

><p>I sat on my cot the day after the celebration and my birthday with Joe. In my hand was a letter from home, Joe got it and he gave it to me to read. I was writing home from time to time, letting them know what was going on and how it was going on my end of the training. But now I got a letter back and I was reading it with my eyes as I saw my mother's writing:<p>

_Joseph,_

_We are so proud of both you and your sister, you must know that first and foremost. I was saddened to know that my firstborns were going to be fighting in a war, and I pray every night for the both of you would be _sparred_. But I know you two will look out of each other._

_We are thinking about you here in California. Your father misses you terribly, along with your brothers and sisters. It's been tough here, money wise, But we are getting by, day by day. We never needed much in our family, only each other and what we can use __our hands and the gifts that were given to us._

_I am worried about your sister, and I hope you are watching out for her while you are over there. We know that she is just as proud as you are when it comes to not showing her illness to the others around her, and I hope that she does let it ruin her. You know your sister, not wanting to show weakness. Just keep an eye on her, let her know that she is not alone in this battle that she is going through in her own body. I fear it would take us before we are ready to let her go._

_Write to us soon, and let us know where you are going next._

I saw a drop of blood fall onto the letter from my own nose, though I closed my eyes and tried to hard not to cry there on the bed. My own mother thought I was going to die from my illness while I was away from her, she thought I was going to lose this battle because of the war. I knew this was coming, but to see it in her handwriting and how she was pleading Joe to protect me because of my pride getting in the way and not having me seek help. She was right: I had pride. I didn't want to be seen as weak. Nor did Joe, but mine was more poisonous. And there was the evidence, on the letter. One drop of blood and I knew:

One of these days I could die.


	8. Chapter 8

"Mind if I sit with you?" I looked up to see Eugene standing in the aisle in his travel uniform. We were on our way from North Carolina and to New York, where we were going to be shipped out, but we had no clue just yet. I was just glad to be able to move out a small cabin and onto a ship. We were still at the camp for another month, training and working with our equipment. As soon as I could, I started to read the book Eugene got me, sneaking in moments throughout the day to read page by page, even trying to fight the concept of sleep when I was halfway through a chapter. It felt nice to read again, and to read poems and sonnets from someone whom I felt was speaking to me through the pages.

I was on the 30th page when I looked up, seeing Eugene there smiling down at me as Joe was sitting across from me in our area of the train, Luz in the other seat and he was reading a newspaper. Joe was sleeping, his head propped against the window with his jacket being used as a pillow and Luz was reading the entertainment column. Joe's feet were across on my seat, snug against my side as my own arm was draped over his boots to make it more comfortable.

"Not at all, Eugene." I grinned back, seeing him sit next to me and fold his hands in his lap properly. It gave me a good moment or two to look at him and how he was in his own uniform. He cleaned up well, well he always did. Compared to Luz and Joe, and even Toye for that matter, all who wore their uniform as if it was a straight jacket.

"You like the book?" He asked me pointing to the book that I was holding. Looking down at it, I could tell it was getting worn down by the plenty of moments of me folding back pages and smearing them with my fingers that were coated with grease and hand soap.

"I do, it's really good," I replied, seeing him look at a particular page that I had, having me point as well, "This one talks about how he sees the trees and the mountaintops. I think the way he writes it makes it more visual to me."

"I'm not a reader myself really," Eugene confessed, "But I'm glad you really like reading it."

"What do you like to do then, outside of giving books to girls to swoon them off their feet?" I asked him, seeing him somewhat blush on his cheeks as his fingers started to fiddle on his lap, having me see that he was trying to figure out what to say or do with me.

"Well, I was raised on boats." He explained calmly, having me raise an eyebrow at him.

"Boats? Really?" I asked in pure curiosity.

"My grandfather was a fisherman. He would take me out as a kid and would show me out to fish for anything on the bayou. Catfish, Crabs, you name it. I guess when I grew up and when he got too sick to go out, I would go out on his own boat and just sail around." He explained to me smoothly, as if it was so easy to say it off his tongue and have it roll in front of him.

"But you don't fish?" I asked him, seeing him pause before giving me a nervous smile.

"I try to….but I am beyond terrible." He replied, having me giggle from hearing the discomfort he was harboring in his voice, "Honestly, I am downright terrible at fishing. I think I would put my old man to shame."

"I have never been on a boat." I confessed to him, seeing him eye me now with shock on his face.

"No shit, really?" He asked in an unconvincing manner though I eyed him from my spot when his use of language.

"Way to have nice language around me." I joked with him, but he kept his shock look on his face. I even saw Luz look up for a moment from his spot with his newspaper in hands, having me see him out of the corner of my eye and a small grin was on his face from what he was seeing in front of me. I then knew that I was going to get an earful from him later when Eugene was not around.

"But really, you haven't been sailing before?" He asked just to get it right.

"Not really, I was more prone to books on solid earth than being tossed around on a piece of wood," I said sarcastically, " But they do have annual boat rides and races in the Bay. I watch them every once in awhile."

"One of these days you need to get on a boat yourself." Eugene explained, having me shift in my seat and close the book completely, shifting now so I can face him more.

"Well, of course, I will find a sailboat once we get over to Europe and I can sail the Atlantic myself." I answered back, seeing him just shake his head with the smile still on his face.

"I'm sure you can dig something up over there since I don't think being on a huge ship with a lot of men would quench your own thirst." Eugene countered with me.

"You are on the role with your boldness. Are you always this sarcastic with other women you're with?" I asked him in wonder, seeing him now raise an eyebrow at me from how I was acting towards him.

"What is it with you and wanting to know the kind of women that I have been with?" He asked me now in curiosity, having me just shake my own head.

"I'm only curious." I replied, placing my hands up and showing that I meant no harm.

"Are you always this pushy when it comes to getting to know guys?" He asked me, having me just look right back at him. Maybe I was coming at this the wrong way, how I was talking to him since it was normal for me. I felt like an idiot then, going quiet in my seat for a moment. Something about talk to Eugene was making me reevaluate on how I was speaking to people in general. Way to look like a proper friend in front of him, Jemmie. I looked down at my hands, the book that was on my lap, and I tried so hard not to break in front of him and show him that I had emotions. I heard nothing from our part of the train, since I knew Luz would not chime in on this kind of awward silence. I could even see him too looking at me with a hint of concern on his face.

"I'm sorry." I said to him aloud softly, having me see Joe open one eye and look right at me as I looked at him briefly. He was looking right at me, though it still looked like he was sleeping. He was reading my face, and he knew that I was hurting. I could reach out to Joe and take his hand since that has always been a comfort to me since we were children. But this was my own personal obstacle to go through with my own pride and stupidity.

"It's fine." Eugene replied, now looking a bit concerned that I was called out on my own bullshit and pride. He sounded so nice about it, as if he was afraid that if he sounded harsher with me then he would break my spirit. But I shook my head.

"No, it's not. Sometimes I don't think before I talk. It was stupid and not right at all..." I went on some more, still feeling like a fool that I would call him out on things that I thought were to be true, when in fact they weren't. It wasn't until I felt him take my hand gently, a sparkling sensation was soaring through me as we touched skin, and even how he held me hand as if he wanted to silently tell me all is well. I looked down at our joined hand, since this was the first time we held hands together, and then over at him seeing a serious look in his eyes. He could tell I was struggling, really struggling, and he then gave me a warm smile that made everything inside of me warm again.

"It's okay, Jemima." He reassured me again, his voice was just as gentle as before. But it might have been because he was holding my hand and he was holding it so intimately that it made me forget that I was the one to blame here.

"Thank you." I thanked him genuinely, having me see Joe across from me have a small smirk on his face then. I tapped his boots with my hand, signaling him to both leave me be and to thank him for showing some kind of support. He closed his eyes again as I cleared my throat with Eugene.

"It's just that...I have no idea how to talk to guys really. I mean, really talk to them." I confessed to him, hearing him chuckle and shrug his own shoulders.

"I'm the same with girls. In fact, they scare me," He replied back to me gently, having me merely smile and now throw out another comment to him since I knew that was one of my downfalls, "I'm serious. Girls pretty much scare me."

"Does that mean I scare you?" I asked in with a shrug of my shoulders, seeing him eye me once more with the same look that would have me loose my breath and wish that I would not blush violently in front of me. He smirked the small smirk that was beyond warm.

"You don't scare me." He replied to me in a honest tone, having me grin at him again. He saw the fault in me, how I spoke before I thought, yet he wasn't going to let me be moved by it or have me be swallowed by it.

"And maybe, if you want, I can take you sailing. After we win the war and go home." He suggested in a softer tone, as if he was testing out the wording himself. He wanted to take me out on a boat, doing something that he loved and showing it to me. He could be doing this to just be a good friend to me, or it could be something more that he wanted to prove. But the way he was holding my hand, and how he was watching me carefully with his eyes, it made me think that it could be something more for me with him. I wanted it to be, since my crush for him was getting worse and more intense as the days came and went.

"I would love that."

* * *

><p>I woke up from being asleep in my spot on the train, having me feel something as pressed up against me, feeling like a body of sorts. The sun the gown down steadily and the train was tinted gold now instead of it being so bright and high in the sky. I pushed some of my bangs from my eyes, seeing across from me both Joe and Luz were fast asleep on their corners of the seats. But I wondered who was next to me, having me look over and see it was Eugene, fast asleep and his head resting against the headboard behind him, slanting to the left and away from me. I grinned, watching him asleep for a moment.<p>

Even being asleep he looked peaceful and calm. There was no discomfort in his face while he was sleeping, and there was no longer the look of seriousness on his face that he would have every once in awhile. Just the same look of innocence that made me have feelings for him from the moment I saw him in my cabin at Camp Toccoa. So it was safe to say I placed my own head on his shoulder, feeling him stir for a moment but stay asleep as I closed my eyes again. I could hear his deep breathing, feel how soft his shoulder was against my head and how I was getting stronger feelings for him. There were times when I thought he looked at me in such a way that I never would get from another man, nor have I ever gotten from another. A stolen glance, filled with innocence and curiosity along with love and a thirst for a connection. The sheer mystery of Eugene Roe was plaguing my mind, and I didn't mind. So as I fell asleep again, my head on his shoulder and we were going to our new destination, I was having to realize what kind of effect he was having on me.

A strong effect of pure love.

* * *

><p><strong>September 6th, 1943<strong>

**Brooklyn Naval Shipyard **

After seeing the American soil go past us as, we were on the ship now, heading to our new destination and to the next leg of adventure that was ahead of us. It was still a surreal thing for me to see American slipping away from us, almost like smoke through my fingers. I was now on a boat with men and a handful of nurses who were going to be stationed at the local hospitals. Alice was coming along too, though I would be with Easy I had no idea where she was going to end up at. Alice and I were going to be sharing living quarters together, along with a couple other nurses in which we were sleeping separately from the men in private rooms.

I wrote to my parents one more time before we left to get on the ship, reassuring them that I was working on my Epilepsy and making sure that I had it under control. I knew that was their major concern, well that and the fact that I was a girl surrounded by men. Giving them my new address, I was now ready for whatever was lying ahead in my future.

After seeing the rest of America go behind the vale of the sea, I walked through the sleeping quarters of the boys, with rows and rows of bunks that were reaching to the top of the room and very little room to walk through. I had nothing else to do that day, but to go and visit the boys and see how they were doing. After walking through a few rows and hearing the murmurs amongst the men and the small conversations, I saw my Easy Company friends and I grinned from seeing them.

"Heya Jem." Malarky said to me in a grin, laying out on his stomach and reading what looked like a comic as I passed him.

"Hey Malarky." I replied back to him in a smile as I also saw Guarnene, Toye and Perconte in their bunks.

"You ready for Europe, Jem?" Guarnene asked me from across Malarky, having me grin at him as I then saw my brother across from him, sitting the edge of his bunk and smoking his cigarette. Walking over, I saw Joe reach down and pull me up with him in his cot.

"Oh sure, I've always wanted to see Europe, and what better way than with war?" I asked Guarnene, hearing the others chuckle around me.

"What if we don't get to Europe? What if they send us to North Africa?" Smokey asked in curiosity to the group.

"My brother's in North Africa; he says it's hot." Guarnene replied in a statement and a hint of pride in his tone of voice.

"Really? It's hot in Africa?" Malarky asked sarcastically. I took a drag from the cigarette from next to Joe. He was just sitting there, listening to the conversations around him and not saying a word or so. I watched him, seeing that he too was in deep thought. Maybe he was dreading it, and it was haunting me so it might have been haunting him too. I nudged him, seeing him finally look over at me.

"You okay?" I asked him softly, just for the both of us to hear since I doubted he would want to be called out in front of the Easy Company men. He nodded his head slowly as I handed him the cigarette back to him, seeing him take a drag from it.

"I'm all good, Jemmie." He reassured me, though I knew there was something else behind it. He was hiding something from me, and I knew that he was not going to tell me. Well, not now. Which meant that I would have to coax it out of him soon.

"I like Winters, he's a good man. But when the bullet's start flying, I don't know if I want a Quaker doing my fighting for me." GUarnene said aloud, having me tune back into the conversation that was happening in front of us as Guarnene rolled out of his cot and onto the floor, lighting a cigarette between his lips.

"How do you know he's a Quaker?" Malarky asked from his cot.

"He ain't Catholic." Guarnene stated.

"Neither is Sobel." Malarky replied back.

"That prick's a son of Abraham." As soon as Guarnene said this, both Joe and myself looked right at him from our spots. I knew that term, I've heard it before. It was tossed around once or twice when we were children, and not in the positive manner. Joe has heard it too, and I instantly saw the confusion on his face as we both looked at Guarnene. This was not good, not at all.

"He's a what?" Joe asked from next to me, a small hint of agitation in his voice now as he stared at Guarnene.

"He's a Jew." was his answer, and I instantly cringed next to Joe as I saw the flare of hate in his eyes. This was definately not good, since Joe took more offense to anyone using a Jewish slang that I did. He got in fights before, and I would just let it roll off my shoulder. I still hated the slang used, it wasn't that I was not offended. I was, but I learned to control it really. Joe shook his head with a smile of agitation on his face, throwing down the cigarette in a huff and I heard him mutter, "Fuck". He hopped down from being next to me, walking over to Guarnene and stood right in front of him, having me watch and place my hands on the edge of the bunk, just in case I had to step in. He can't get into a fight, please, not now.

"I'm a Jew." Joe said in an offensive manner, getting too close to his face as Guarnene just stared back, clearing not interested in the fact that he offended Joe and I with his slangs term. It wasn't that he used it against Sobel, I didn't care for the man at all. It was just the fact that he used it in general that made it hard for me to swallow.

"Congratulations, get your nose out of my face." Guarnene warned him, pushing him away from him slightly before all hell broke loose. A fight broke out, having me see Joe shove Guarnene down below his arms to punch him. Within a few moments, plenty of other soldiers were trying to break them up and get them apart. This was too much, and the anger that I was feeling was slowly coming over me since this involved my brother. If he was getting hurt, that made me angry since I knew I could stop it.

I jumped down from my spot, shoving my way through the crowded area and the soldiers who were trying to break my brother and Guarnene apart. As soon as I got close enough, I grabbed Joe's jacket and shoved him away from Guarnene, who was now being held back by Malarky. The noise died down now, as the rest of the soldiers were just watching in held breath and shock. It was because I was there, a female, holding the pair of them away from each other and no one wanted to be the one to punch out a female while in the middle of a fight. I glared at both Joe and Guarnene, whom both had their fair share of busted lips and bruises on their faces.

"Are you out of your minds?" I asked the both of them in a heated tone, out of breath myself as I was glaring at them. This was clearly not what we needed: two men fighting each other over a slang term. Even though I hated the slang term myself since it was clearly a jab to someone who was a Jew, I was still going to make sure my friends and even my brother were not going to tear each other apart.

"Don't get in the middle of it, Jem." Guarnene warned me cautiously, having me feel Joe trying to move of my grasp to get back to him. He was pushed back by Bull as I pushed him back as well.

"No, you don't, Guarnene. Keep your trap shut—" Joe threatened him with a point of his finger. But I shoved his arm down before he would do anything else to Guarnene. He was pushed back into the grasp of Bull, whom held him there and wasn't saying a word.

"Both of you knock it off before we get in trouble. Get your shit together for Christ's sake!" I barked at the both of them, seeing them look over at me now with defeat in their eyes. I was not going to have the both of them get in trouble over something that could be prevented. This was getting me heated, and I felt a small twitch go off in my neck from myself being worked up from pushing the two of them apart from one another. Joe looked at me carefully now, no longer focused on his hate with Guarnene, and he nodded his head once at me.

"Jemmie." He said my name once, having me feel a few drops of blood under my nose. I panicked then, for only a moment since the rest of the group were now looking at me now with a bloody nose. Within a moment, I threw my hand over my nose and I moved out of the way from the middle of the circle that I was in. If any of the boys saw the blood, then I knew I was in deep shit.

"Jem? You okay?" I heard behind me from Luz, a couple other people calling out to me as I shoved my way through the crowd to find a place to ride out the seizure that I knew was going to come over me. I had to find a place to hide from everyone since they still and no clue about it and I would never be able to talk about it with them. I was still afraid to telling them, though a part of me wanted to believe that they would not care about it, accept me right where I was.

I made it to a deserted corridor, leaning against the wall and smearing the blood off my nose before I felt my arms and fingers going into the twitching sensation that I knew as coming. I just breathed in and out, having the Epilepsy ride through my body and over my muscles. My eyes were closed, having me try to picture something that was positive and peaceful in order to calm myself down and have the Epilepsy be calmer in my system.

But the one thing that came into my mind, the one picture, was of Eugene and I dancing with each other at the party the men threw for Joe and I for our birthday. Just the image of Eugene holding me close in his arms and the both of us smiling at each other, as if we were the only people in the room or even the world. It spread warmth around me again, not the cold I would usually feel when I would ride out a seizure.

"Jemmy?" A heard a voice calling out to me faintly, the image of Eugene and I floating out of my thoughts as I opened my eyes and looked over to my left, seeing Joe walk over to me from the edge of the corridor. He looked scared, since he was probably watching me ride out another episode of seizures. I bit my lip seeing the look of hurt on his face because it pained me to see my brother watch me own pain and disease taking the best of me. He walked over to me slowly, still sporting a bruise on his face near his eye and a busted lip from the fight he had with Guarnene and he pulled out a bandana that was in his pocket. He handed it to me, having me take it with my shaky hand and wipe off the rest of the blood that was on my face.

"I'm sorry, Jemmie," He apologized to me sheepishly as I got off the blood from my skin, "I wasn't thinking clearly."

"You think?" I asked him with harshness in my voice as I rubbed my hair with my fingers and handed him the bandana back.

"You know how Guarnene is, he doesn't know when to shut his trap before he gets himself in trouble." Joe explained to me, standing over to lean against the wall next to me, his head against the wall and crossing his arms in front of him.

"And I know you," I replied back to him, "And you are far too prideful to let anything roll off your shoulder and let it die."

"Which is why I have you: my moral compass." Joe said in almost a joking tone, having me look over at him and see that his eyes were closed and his head was still against the wall, trying to seem cool and collective on the whole situation but he was still harboring something deep inside.

"Thank God I was there then, as your moral compass. What would happen if I wasn't there, you'd end up dead," I commented back to him, seeing him sneak open one eye to look over at me then to have him see how serious I was when it came to him and his temper, "I swear, one of these days Joe you're going to be in more trouble than you can handle."

"You don't think I know that?" He asked me, still sounding a bit cool about it.

"Not all the time, no." I answered back, hearing a moment of silence between the both of us and I felt the Epilepsy no long go through my system. I was back to normal, and I breathed out slowly before looked back at my brother, seeing him looking back at me and having a small smirk on his face.

"I guess we're going to have to look out for one another for now on, eh Jemmie?" He asked me in a lighter tone, having me realize that I knew what he was worried about: my safety. He was worried about me being out there and fighting on my own when I had my disability that could kill me. That's what was harboring him and drawing him a bit away from me. We both were close enough to know that we had to look out for one another: I had to help him with his hotheaded nature and pride, and he had to help me with my own pride and my Epilepsy.

"I guess we do." I agreed, seeing him nod his head once and then grab my arm, pulling me into a hug and we just hugged there in the corridor together. I knew that the future was going to be dimmer now since we were going to war and one of those times out there in the war we could eventually lose ourselves and each other.

"We're gonna make it, Jem." Joe reassured me as he hugged me in the abandoned corridor on the ship that could be leading the both of us to our deaths. We both had something to hold onto dearly before we would expose it to the rest of the men. Although I trusted every Easy Company with my life, I still was hesitant on how I was gong to show my vulnerable side to all of them and how broken I really was. One of these days I was going to be exposed for all that I really was.

Now it was a matter of when.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews and support! You guys rock, spread this story around to other Band of Brothers lovers! I'm also on tumblr, my name is Redheadspark.<br>**

**And I thought of a good song that was going on in my head throughout this chapter: Halo by Beyonce. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**England, 1944**

I sat in the movie tent, watching from my own seat as the movie was playing and yet no one was moving around me, nor where they really talking or showing any kind of real interest in the movie. No, we were all just sitting and waiting, waiting for the time to have us jump out of a plane and into war. We were now in England, and it was a matter of time to when we were going to jump. I really didn't like the thought of waiting around for someone to tell me when to do my job.

Since we landed in England, I was doing more combat training with the rest of the men in Easy Company. We were doing drills and scenarios, running from place to place as if we were running from the enemy, doing weapon drills and how to fight in hand to hand combat in case our weapons would fail. I had no use for a gun, as well as Eugene and Spina. But we did have some more training in working as medics, which is fine with me since I didn't want to know how to shoot with a pistol. There wouldn't be a need for that really, not for me. I was more prone to try and stay out of trouble when it came to violence. I left that to my brother, whom I could tell really wanted to shoot a gun sometime soon before he would snap. Since the incident with Guarnene on the ship, they've been avoiding each other like the plague. But I could still see the heated glares that they would give to one another from across the room or across the grass area. Everyone else in the Company was trying to not feel the hint of aggression with the two of them, yet it was still there.

* * *

><p>After we made it to England and after a few more drills and combat training bits, I was with some of the Easy Company men on a drill with Sobel, who was getting us lost, again. I was right behind Luz and Perconte when we were ordered to go behind a bush to hide out, clearly not wanting to be anywhere near Sobel as he was talking to Tipper and a couple others in the open and looking at a map. I was frustrated at this point since it was obvious that we were lost and Winters with his troupe was going to win again.<p>

"Perconte?" Sisk asked next to me as we went over to our cover where Sobel ordered them to take us.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Sobel's lost again, isn't he?" Sisk asked, having me roll my eyes from the clear annoyance that was over all of us.

"Yeah, he's lost." Perconte replied in a grumble.

"Fucking Christ." Sisk cursed as the rest of the men were coming over to hide. I grabbed my satchel straps as Perconte looked over behind us with a glint go hope in his eyes.

"Hey Luz! Luz.." He called out, having me watch as Luz walked over tot he front of the group.

"Can you do Major Horton?" he asked him aloud.

"Does a wild bear crap in the woods, son?" Luz asked him back in his best imitation of Major Woods, all of us were giggling at this point.

"Maybe the good major can goose this schmuck; get us moving?" He asked him, having me also raise an eyebrow at the thought of us pulling a prank of this man, our captain, whom none of us had real respect for and really didn't want around. Luz was hesitant.

"No, no way. I'm not gonna—" But he was cut off by a couple more of our men encouraging him to do it and at least give it a good try. I was never one to get into any more trouble with the Captain since I already had a target on my back or being a female, but then again this was just too good to pass up.

"Oh yeah! Luz, you gotta! Come on!" Muck encouraged him out loud, having me the glint in his eyes as Luz was then looking over at me with some kind of approval in what he was about to do.

"What do you think, Jem?" He asked me. I just shrugged my shoulders at him, not knowing why he was asking me for approval with the prank he wanted to pull.

"Why you askin' me?" I questioned.

"You're our moral compass, remember?" He asked me in almost a joking manner, but I knew there was a seriousness behind his voice as well. I didn't understand why he would call me his moral compass, of even the moral compass of Easy Company for that manner. Was it because I was kinder than the rest? Or that I had a good head on their shoulders compared to the rest of them who were just trying to survive one day at a time. So this must mean that I had another role in the Company other than being the Jem: The Moral Compass.

"This is all on you." I merely replied to him, seeing the others look at him now with eager eyes as he was deciding on his own. He then grinned, clearly making up his mind and then and there.

"Alright just this once." He replied aloud in a breathy tone, having the rest of us chuckle in excitement and giddiness as he then hushed us.

* * *

><p>It was nice to say that we got the best of him when it came to his leadership, Luz ordering him to cut the fence and it brought more chaos on his end. It seemed nice at the time, until a bit later when we got the news that Winters received a Court Martial fro Sobel himself. It was a blow below the belt, at least to me. None of us saw that coming, and for a fair few of us, it was one push too far that Sobel took.<p>

Joe and I, along with Eugene and Toye were leaning up against one of the brick walls as we saw a soldier messenger, Evans, come over in a jeep to Nixon and Winters, hopping out of the jeep and then going over to the pair of them with a envelope in his hand. Joe took a drag from his own cigarette as I watched carefully, crossing my arms in front of me and Toye already fuming from what he saw.

"Christ." Joe swore as we watched Winters reading the message and Evans going back in the jeep, clearly getting in the way of the basketball game being played by the other soldiers in the area. I could see from the look on both Nixon and Winters faces that it was not good, and I could feel the pain in my chest from seeing it in their eyes.

"He can't do that, not to Winters." I said aloud, thinking that this was some kind of sick joke and it was no longer real. But it was, so real in front of me that I could only hope that it was a dream. Winters was a good leader, a solid leader that I had pain in my own chest from something happening to him. I bet the others who were there with me were feeling the same way, since we all were looking at sight with grimaces on our faces and the churning knot of betrayal in our stomachs.

"He just did." Toye replied aloud in a low tone as we watched Nixon and Winters read the letter now, both of them were quite amused and confused to why this was happening to Winters. I shook my head, grabbing the cigarette from Joe's lips and taking a long drag from the stick. Joe watched me now as I had the smoke stay in my body for a moment before having it exhale through my nose.

"You don't smoke." He said as more of a statement than anything, having me pause before handing him the stick once more before I shoved myself off the brick wall and dug my heels into the pavement before walking away from the group in a huff.

"First time for everything." I grumbled to him, seeing him watch me as I passed him and walked down the road, showing my hands in my pockets as I then heard footsteps behind me, making me look back and see Eugene catch up to me, the same look of pain on his face as we were walking in step together.

"What are you doing?" I asked him in wonder, though I was still fuming with what was going on with Winters.

"Walking with you." he replied as he was trying to keep up with my mean pace of a walk. I kept walking, staring at him in wonder.

"Why?" I asked them, feeling as though I would like some alone time before I would lash out at someone from the sheer stupidity of it all.

"No one should be walking alone these days, and you look like you need a breather." He explained, having me take out one more shaky breath, it was shaky from both what was happening to Winters and the cigarette I had from Joe.

"So you're just gonna walk with me?" I asked him with skepticism.

"You gonna stop me?" He asked me with a shrug of his shoulders, seeing that I was being bold again. But I paused in my walking, coming to a stop and Eugene stopping with me. I thought about it, thinking it would be too cruel for me to stop Eugene now since I was already trying to work on my own pride and my own sense of reality. I shook my head at him, my soft hair that was half up half down going with my head as he smiled at him slightly.

"No." I replied back to him, seeing him smile at me and then we both started walking again, but this time at a slower pace. I didn't mind walking with him, the both of us shoulder to shoulder as he was trying to help me with a distraction. He was, of course, my anchor in times of woe and it times of anger and sadness. But of course he was more than that to me, he could sense when something was off with me and I in him, We were both booming closer to one another as more than just friends, at least that's what I could feel. I was just glad I had someone to bring be back to earth like Roe.

* * *

><p>More months went by, and by the time another year came and went with Easy Company, it was 1944 and we still felt like we were waiting for something huge to happen to us. I was now fully prepared for war, yet I was sitting with the rest of the Combat Medics, wondering when we were going to see anything worth seeing. Most of the days were filled the field tests and map preparing for any of the upcoming meeting points and where we might be needed. It was mostly foreign to me, since I didn't need to know anything about gun control or bayonet handling, but we Combat Medics got more knowledge in Medicine and emergency protocols for tough situations.<p>

"Three-day supply of K rations, chocolate bar candy, powdered coffee, sugar, matches, compass, bayonet, trenching-tool, ammunition, gas mask, musette bag with ammo, my webbing, my 45 canteen, two cations of smokes, Hawkins mine, two grenades, smoke grenades, Gammon grenade, TNT, this bullshit and a pair of nasty skivvies!" Toye vented as he was looking at his own gear that we were needing to pack. I was walking by him, going to my own set of gear that I would have to pack for the jump that was scheduled that night, having my own heartbeat go quickly once again from the mere thought of jumping out of a plane and this time, it was no drill and no practice routine. We were going to jump into enemy territory, a real jump with no turning back. I was scared, for certain, but I was also curious as to how it was going to be played out.

"What's your point?" Perconte asked him from being next to him on the floor in the open field.

"God! This stuff weighs as much as I do! I still got my chute, my reserve chute, my Mae West and my M-1!" Toye complained some more while he was on his knees, pointing to all of his things in a huff as I watched with a grin on my face.

"Where are you keeping the brass knuckles?" Perconte asked as he walked passed Toye, who was now eyeing him.

"I could use some brass knuckles…" He said in a huff as I finally walked past them, going over to where Spina and Eugene were with some of the other Combat Medics who were handling their satchels and getting things in order with their own equipment. As soon as I was close enough, I saw Spina look up at me as Eugene was too busy with his satchel and getting his things in his own bag in order.

"You ready for our jumpy tonight, Jem?" Spina asked me as I got down on my own knees next to him, seeing my own gear laid out in front of me and having myself be in a dazed moment of confusion as to how this was all going to work. I started with the basics, getting them into my packs and pockets slowly but surely.

"I guess so." I replied back to him, having me see him eye me now from his own spot.

"You guess so? Come on, Jem. This is what we've been training for since two years ago, you don't think you can handle it?" Spina questioned me in an amused grin, having me chuckle as I got some more things packed up.

"Oh, I don't doubt I can do what I was trained to do, Spina. It's just….it's already happening." I voiced to him, seeing him pause with his work on his bags. We never had real deep conversations, Spina and I, but we got along just fine with our friendship.

"Jem." He called to me since he saw me zoning out for a moment or two in front of my own pack. I had every right to, since my own mind was now playing tricks on me when it came to the upcoming tasks that I would have to deal with when it came to the war. I would be stressed beyond reason, and that could trigger the seizures that were clearly going to be the end of me sometime in the future. Would this mean that I would die in the war, way before I thought I would die? Was I going to be myself when I was an old woman, surrounded by childcare and grandchildren and maybe even a husband to call my own. No, my mind was now on the present and how one of these days, I could be gone. And to make it worse, the men of Easy Company could, in fact, see me die. Was I willing to take that risk? Still?

"You're going to be okay out there," Spina reassured me as I looked back over at him next to me, "You know what to do, since you've practically beaten all of our asses when it comes to training and knowing medicine." I grinned from his notion of me beating their asses. It was nice to hear it from Spina, since he could see that I was letting the inner demons plague my mind again.

"Thanks Spina." I thanked him, seeing him wave me off.

"Eh, don't be sappy with me." He replied in a gruff, clearly not wanting to be seen as anything but masculine. I grinned from his antics as we went back to packing once more, having me look over my shoulder and see Luz with his own packing material and I wonder how he was doing.

"It's just an extra 80 pounds strapped to your leg," He explained to Malarky as he was standing up, holding a device in his hand with amusement on his face, "Does anybody have any idea how the hell this thing works?" I grinned from his curiosity as I looked back at the satchel in front of me, having me see Spina place something on top of it. It was a patch, but it was a patch that was unique in its own right. It was a patch of a Gem, a light blue gem that was shining brightly.

"What's this?" I asked him, seeing him look over at the patch was on top of my satchel and looking nonchalant about it.

"All the Combat Medics are getting patches on their satchels, and I figured you needed one of a gem." Spina explained to me as I grabbed the patch and held it in my hands.

"So you decided to give me a patch of a gem?" I asked him, still confused as to why I would get a patch in the first place. He grinned at me, seeing where I was coming from and shrugged his shoulders at me.

"Would your rather have a compass, or maybe a lipstick tube?" he asked me, having me flipping him off in return and have me chuckle at his antics with me. I was beyond glad for the gesture that he gave me a patch to place on my satchel, but then again it seemed like something I did not deserve.

"Easy Company! Listen up!" Eugene, Spina and I shot up from out spots as we were being called by Meehan, who was standing above us to get a good view of all of the men. I wonder what was going on as the rest of Easy were asking over to hear what he was going to say too.

"Channel coast is socked in with rain and fog. No jump tonight! Then invasion as been postponed. We're on a 24 hour stand down." I could hear all of the men groaning from the thought of now waiting for one more night until we were going to go in the air and get this jump over with. I sighed in defeat, going back to my knees at the satchel in front of me and wondering when I was going to find that sense of peace again. I guess it wouldn't be for another night or so.

So here I was, watching a old movie again with the men there who were not saying or doing anything as I was holding my satchel on my lap, sewing my new patch on the very front underneath the red cross. It would be my symbol with the other Combat Medics and the men in my Company if anything were to happen to me. If I got lost, or hurt and I needed my satchel, they would know which one to look for. It was a peaceful thought, but then again it wasn't helping my anxieties that were coming over me like a wave when I was thinking about the jump and how it was going to be played out.

I looked over two rows in front of me, seeing Eugene sitting there watching the movie with no sign of peace in his eyes. I could see the seriousness there again, having me wonder if I should move up there to sit next to him and just talk to him, since talking to each other would bring one another peace and calmness in times of chaos and stress. But my body was not letting me move from my spot, having me wish I could tell him that he was going to be okay too, since he was always the one to comfort me and let me know that I was okay. Was there ever going to be a time for me tell him how I was feeling about him, especially at this time since we were waiting to jump out of a plane and into mass warfare? I guess not, which made me wonder when.

When was it possible?

* * *

><p>"Get ready!" I shot up from my spot on the plane, seeing darkness around me but the flashing red light in front of is as we were about to jump. There was so much noise coming out from beyond the plane, having me hear bombs going of fleet and right and the roar of the engine flooding my ears. We were flying in the dead of night, and I was in my combat gear and my satchel over my shoulder with my face covered in grease and my hair hiding under my bandana. My helmet was rattling as I was clutching the rope that had me attached to the wire above me, having me close my eyes for a moment before I knew I would have to jump.<p>

Once I jumped, I knew there was no turning back. Hell, there was no turning back when I was applying for the army years ago with Joe, But now it was real, far too real for me to swallow. I had to face the fact: I was probably going to jump to my death and there might not be a bright future for me. For some reason, that was fine with me, since I knew I was contributing enough for the world. I would rather go like this and know I did my best than die old and know that I made no real decisions or risks in my life.

One by one, the men in front of me jumped and I was itching closer and closer to the door, having me peer out and see the sky light up with the explosions and feel the plane move from the impacts around it. I swallowed down any sense of cowardice that was inside of me, knowing that it was the time to be brave and show no fear in spite of what I wanted to do: run. I couldn't run, not now. Not when these men needed me. It was time to grow up.

So I jumped.


	10. Chapter 10

I landed on the ground, in a patch of grass and I was finally realizing, I was alone. Quickly I tapped the things on my body to make sure I was alive. There was a rip in my side with one of my pockets, which meant that I lost my map and a couple other things. My satchel was okay, and I was still nervous that I was alone.

That made me panic as I stripped off the parachute and stood upon the ground, looking around and seeing where I was. There was no one there, no one near me or around me. Something was wrong, very wrong as I took in a shaky breath.

Okay, what was next? What did I have to do? But I heard gunfire far away, having me get low in the tall grass that I was in and scan the area. I was on the edge of the forest, in the dead of night, and the only sounds that I could hear were gunshots and the cool breeze that was coming through the area. A part of me wanted to move and get out of the area I was in since I had no weapon and no way or fighting myself out of a situation. But then again I wanted to stay where I was since I was probably hidden and no one else can see me. However, I didn't want to die on my first night in the war so I decided to get up slowly and creep over to the edge of the forest that was right behind me.

Slowly I turned around, creeping along the edge of the tall grass so that I can still not be seen, but I was going at a fast pace until I can hide myself deep within the forest about 5 feet in, right behind one of the fatter trees and grasping the bark with both of my hands. I looked around me and behind, making sure that I could see anything at all. Nothing was making a noise or sound, having me believe that I was alone. My satchel was still along my hip, with my nearly sewn Gem patch on the flap and my heartbeat was going way too fast for my liking. Calm down, Jemima. You're alive and you're safe. You're gonna find the others. Oh God, where were the others.

I started to panic again. Who was in front of me when we jumped? Was it Muck, or maybe it was Johnny? Why would I forget about that now? I tried to remember, having me then realize then that I had to say something out loud in order to get a respond from someone else on our side. Would I say it now, or would I wait?

Waiting in the silence of a foreign land was beyond scary for me. I didn't know where to do, and I could not stay there forever since the rest of the men were going to run off and get to their meeting point. I had to find out where it was so I could meet them, but when I landed I lost a few things, and one of them was my map. So there was no way I knew where I was going, and it made me pray that I would find someone that I knew to help me.

I then thought of Winters, if he was okay on where he landed. Next on my mind was Joe and if he made the jump. That was a lump in my throat, how I had no idea where my own twin was and if he was alright. Would he be okay? I would think so since he knew how to carry himself. But then again he would have gotten hurt and then he would need help. The last person I thought of was Eugene, and that made my heart drop to my boots as I stood in the forest, crouching low and feeling the cool wind against my exposed skin. Eugene, would he have made the jump? I hoped he did, that nothing happened to him at all, that he was untouched by any kind of pain or fear. Eugene never deserved that, he was far too pure and kind for that.

"Flash!" I heard behind me, having me crouch lower to the earth and look behind me in fear. I heard it right: English. I knew that phrase, it was what we were meant to call out to find another ally in the line of the war. I just wondered who it was. Pausing in my spot, still holding the tree like it was my life source, I gulped, thinking then again that I was dreaming.

"Flash!" the whisper was harsher now and a bit louder since whoever said it was trying to figure out if I was a ally or enemy. Rearranging the helmet that on my head and feeling my hair move around underneath the bandana, I found my voice again.

"Thunder!" I whispered back loudly, then hearing some rustling in the bushes behind me which made me grip the tree even harder with my fingers. Someone popped out of the bushes now, having me freeze and look with my eyes though it was practically dark in the night.

"Jemmie? Is that you Jem?" I heard a loud whisper now, having me panic and know that voice.

"Malarky?" I asked back in my own harsh tone of a whisper. The figure walked forward and I saw his face behind the grease there and in his uniform with his gun out and ready. It was a sigh of relief to see him, having me grin and get up from my spot from being low for so long. My legs were aching from the drop itself and from me crouching for a bit, and my own fingers were aching from gripping the bark on the tree so hard in panic.

"Oh, thank God! I didn't think I would find anyone out here. You okay?" He asked me, going through the forest for a bit before reaching me and giving me a reassuring hug. I hugged him back, nodding my head and then pulling back to see how he was doing. He looked okay on his face, though I looked down at his hand I saw his wrist was crimson. I panicked, grabbing his wrist and holding it up to the light of the moon, which was all I had to work with.

"How did this happen?" I asked him in a concerned tone, seeing that he was still somewhat bleeding as I analyzed the wound. It was nowhere near an artery, but it was an inch closer that he would have been bleeding out to death.

"I got nicked by my parachute when I landed in here." He explained to me in a cool tone, but kept his wrist in one hand and the other went for my satchel, opening the flap and reaching it without looking for the gauze and the wrap that I knew would be there in the left side of the bag. Pulling one out at a time, I got to work on his wrist as we were still standing out in the open.

"Keep your hand steady." I urged him, seeing him watch me as I was leaning over his wrist and getting the blood off with my fingers. I was already working on a soldier not even 30 minutes into landing in a foreign country, and yet it was so simple to me. Before I knew it, I got his wrist bandaged up and I looked up at him with a small smile on my face.

"There you go. One more inch to the left and you would have bled to death." I explained as he examined his own wrist with worry and interest.

"You serious?" He asked in shock.

"The wound was not on an artery, but it was pretty damn close to one." I went on, seeing him grin at me slightly. Even if it was just the two of us, with nowhere to go and no way to find our Company, I was glad to be there with Malarky. He tapped me on the shoulder as I got my things back in my satchel.

"Come on, I know where we have to go." he explained as he started to walk out into the open field again, me right behind him like a dog to its owner. We marched through the field, having me see nothing again but hear the clicks of guns going off in the distance.

"Where are we going anyways?" I asked him in wonder.

"Sainte-Mère-Église." He explained to me as we got onto the road on the other side of the field. There was a sign there, having me see the road names and then Malarky reaching in to find his map in his jacket pocket near his chest. Once he pulled it out, I looked over his shoulder and he looked as well, his eyes knitted in concentration and confusion, but his fingers found where we were with the two road names and then he scanned the area for our meeting pointing.

"We're here." He explained to me, having me move around to look at a better view, "And this is where we need to be. I'm thinking that once we stay on this road than we can get to where we need to be, or close enough."

"That's about 5 kilometers out." I added, seeing the numbers in my head as I worked it out. That would mean a lot of walking from where we were to where we needed to be. There was no way we could stay here for long, since whoever closely saw us fall from the sky and would want to haunt us down before we could even get anywhere safe. Malarky folded up his map and shoved it back in his pocket, having me grab my satchel strap in my hands and watch him carefully as he looked down the road we would be traveling on for hours.

"Let's start walking then."

* * *

><p>Two hours came and went as we were walking along the road, always looking over our shoulders in case we were being watched. No one was around, and when we were hear gunfire we would duck behind someone or near a bush incase someone was coming. Thankfully it was nothing, and I was just hoping to find Joe sometime soon, along with Eugene. I only wanted to find them so I knew that they were okay and no longer in harms way. The more we walked, the longer it felt in my brain since we were only walking and making sure no one was sneaking up with us. Eugene's face flashed in my mind from time to time, having me wish I could see his face and know that he was alright. He must be okay, meeting up with someone and not being afraid. Was he afraid? No, he was brave. brave enough for the both of us. Just thinking about him made me brave.<p>

"How are you holding up, Jem?" Malarky asked me in wonder as we were turning the corner with the road that was curbing. The moon was moving, hanging a bit lower now in the sky as we were walking along the darkness of the country road.

"I'm okay, Malarky." I said in a gruff.

"You sure? You don't sound it." He explained, looking over at me with his brown eyes and have me see the hint go fear in them.

"I promise, I'm okay Malarky. I'm just worried about Joe." I explained to him carefully. And I was rightfully so. Joe and I were never separated with something like this, as childish as it sounded. I wanted to find my twin and make sure he was fine. He had to be fine. Joe knew more about taking care of himself that I gave him credit for.

"I'm sure he's okay, Jem. Once we get to the meeting point, he'll be there." Malarky reassured me as we were walking still, his gun out in his hands and my own on my satchel since I had nowhere else to put them.

"He'll be fine on his own. I don't give him enough credit for that of course. But it still feels off, not knowing where he is." I explained to him some more, thinking about made me more agitated.

"Were you two always together?" Malarky asked in a curiosity, having me shake my head.

"Not really no. But one time when we were kids we both got lost in the woods when we went camping with my Grandpa." I explained to Malarky, thinking about the memory in my head, "We were at least 8 years old I think. We were terrible at that age, always acting out and shit. At least Joe was, I was a saint." Malarky chuckled from my sarcasm.

"Anyways, my grandpa from Austria came over to a holiday and he took us out to the woods near Northern California. We were out exploring and I got lost for about an hour, not being able to find my way back. Man, I was scared out of my mind, thinking that I would be lost for good. Crying all over my clothes and everything. But Joe was running around, calling after me, and it took me a good long while until I heard him again. He was lost too, and he was trying to find me. For some reason, us finding each other brought us both back to sanity. Anyways, after we found each other we held hand for the rest of the time, trying to find our grandpa."

It was both a fond memory and a scary one. Scary, since I really did think that I would be lost for good for the rest of my life. But fond, since once Joe and I found each other, we were holding each other's hands with a vice grip and never letting go of one another. I saw Malarky smiling from my memory that I spilled out to him, having me smile too as we were close along a farmhouse, having the both of us hear rustling inside and we froze. Malarky grabbed my jacket, shoving both himself and myself against the wall of the barn without making a sound. I froze against the wooden wall, Malarky being in front of me and his gun at the ready. We heard nothing again, but we knew someone was in the barn since it was the sound of rustling feet on hay.

"Are they German or American?" I asked Malarky in a harsh whisper, not knowing what else to do.

"How should I know?" he asked me in a hard tone, having me roll my eyes.

"_Sprechen Sie Enlisch?_" (Do you speak English) I said aloud, my voice echoing in the night. Malarky whirled around to look at me, though I looked right back at him in the determination look as he was about to yell at me when we heard the rustling again.

"Flash!" Both of our eyes went big, Malarky looking forward again as I pressed up against him, wondering who it was this time.

"Thunder!" He replied aloud, his own low tone was booming in the quiet night, "Who's in there?"

"Toye and Guarnene. Is that you, Malarky?" We both sighed in relief as we heard more shuffling around inside the barn. There was Toye, coming out of the barn and looking worn out as well as the both of us. Guarnene was right behind him, looking more pissed than Toye was, but I was glad to see them both.

"Me and Jem." Malarky replied as Toye eyed me up and down and then Malarky.

"How long have you been hiding in there?" I asked him.

"About an hour, since we had fucking idea where I was supposed to go. My map got nicked off from the jump." He explained in a huff.

"Yeah well, you're lucky I have a map. Come on, we're not that far off." Malarky explained to him, tapping his chest pocket where the map was and the four of us were on the road again. Though once we starting walking again, Toye looked over at me with a raised eyebrow, having me eye him from my spot in the middle of the pair of them.

"Since when do you speak German?" He asked me, having me roll my eyes.

"After two years of you knowing me and my brother are Jews and are parents are from Austria, you're now wondering why I speak German? Really Toye?" I asked him in unbelief. Toye just glared at me and looked forward again. I grinned, clasping him on the back as we marched on to our destination, wherever it was. I was kind of glad now I had Malarky and Toye there with me, no longer needing to be fending for myself anymore. It was still a long way until I would find the others again, but it was soothing to know that there was no more fear of isolation over my anymore. Not when I first landed on my own in a place I had no knowledge of. I had brothers now, more than Joe, who looked to me and saw me one of their own. Now I just had to find the others.

* * *

><p>Another hour went by and we found a railroad, Toye convincing us that we should stick to the railroad to find our crossing since he felt like we were going nowhere with the road we were on. The Railroad tracks were a shortcut, according to him, and we followed suited since for me it felt a bit safer. I walked in the back with Malarky as Toye and Guarnene were in the front, and I felt so out of place without a weapon with me. We were hidden in the trees, though it still made me feel exposed since anyone could be hiding from here on out to get us out in one shot.<p>

"I don't remember hearing about any railroad new our objective." Malarky said aloud to the other two as I just walked.

"I'm telling you, this is the spur line that runs parallel to the river. We should be coming up to a road and a bridge ahead." Toye explained once again, trying to contain himself from getting frustrated.

"Yeah? How would you know?" Malarky questioned.

"Because I studied the sand tables, all right?" Toye asked back in a biting remark. Guarana raised his hand, the four of us kneeling to the ground then since he must have heard something.

"Probably frigging train or—" Malarky was about to go on when we heard something behind us, having all four of us whirl around and look in wonder.

"Flash!" It was another solider that was calling for us, but I had no idea who. I waited with the rest of my men though they woo wanted to know who was hiding.

"Thunder!" We all whispered back, having us wait and see four more meant coming out of the bushes. One of them was Lipton, the next was Popeye, and the other was our leader Winters. I sighed in relief as they walked over to us, Winters, over to me and scanning me up and down.

"You made the jump okay, Jem?" He asked me in wonder, I nodded my head at him.

"Yes sir." I answered, seeing him grin at me and look to the other men and talking to them. Lipton gave me one nod of his head.

"Good to see you Jem." He said in a whisper.

"You too, sir." I replied back, following the men now as we were walking out now to our destination. More of us were coming together and making me feel more and more sane now, no longer needing to have that sense of insanity that was threatening to come over me like it was going to before when I was alone. Now I just had to find my brother and Eugene and I would be fine. But that didn't make sense in my mind.

This was my first day in the war. Nothing from here on out was going to be fine.


	11. Chapter 11

We walked long into the morning, having me see a lake that was in a fire which illuminated the night around us, and a farmhouse nearly destroyed from the bombings that happened with already dead Americans there. But as for me, I kept my head down. There was nothing for me to do but just walk with the men, hearing them talk here and there about what was going to happen next and how Winters was leading us there. It was still sinking beneath, the fact that I was here in a war and I should not belong here. Hell, I was the only female in Easy Company and I was only here as the sole translator as a Medic. I had no right to hold a weapon, nor shoot one. That would be the very last thing I would want to do, yet now I was going to be surrounded by violence, whether I liked it or not.

After we went by the lake that was tinted red from the flames, we walked on early into the morning, which made everything lighter and more soothing yet in a chaotic time. I was more observant of everything that I was seeing, the blue in the sky and the green in the tall grass that was touching my army pants and boots. It all looked like a pretty picture, yet it was still tainted in the blood that was a war. After we walked through the morning dawn and crisp air, we approached a damaged farmhouse that had no chance of survivors. Even the American paratrooper that was hanging out of a tree like a puppet gave me a sickening feeling that made me want to vomit. But the group ransacked the bodies for any clips or supplies. I only stood out on the side, not wanting to touch a dead body just yet as I just started being a Combat Medic in the war. They grabbed the guns and the other bags that were no longer needing to be used by the empty bodies with no more souls. It made me realize how far they would go as soldiers, no, as humans, to be able to survive. I wouldn't blame them if I was in that position, but I wasn't.

And I never wanted to be.

We walked on, having me feel more and tireder from just walking and no one showing any kind of excitement and joy as we did in the past. No, this time we were just looking around to make sure we weren't going to get hurt. By the time we were approaching what looked like a wooden area, along the muddy road and hearing the rustling of the leave above us in the trees, we saw some soldiers sitting out on the side of the road on a small hill. I peered over, seeing that some of them were in fact German Soldiers, unharmed and being looked over by the American soldier there. They were standing over them with their guns ready to shoot if they were going to do anything. But my eyes were on the German soldiers, having me realize that they too were human beings. Some of them looked so young, younger than me. I bet some of them would still be in high school and were taken into the war, like some of the American soldiers as well. They were watching us as well when we approached one of the Americans. It was myself, Lipton, Winters, Hall from D Company, Toye, Guarnene, Malarky, and two others that were still trying to find their own Company.

"Morning, sir. Battalion sure will be happy to see you." One of the Americans said to Winters since he was leading the way.

"Where?" Winters asked him back in wonder.

"At the farm, sir." He replied pointing to the direction at the left, though Malarky was no stepping up to the unarmed Germans and grinning at them.

"Top of the morning to ya!" He said to them in an Irish accent, though I stayed quiet and watched the men carefully. Some of them looked rather hungry, and I knew for a fact that no American was going to give them food. Not when they had pride in the way. I had pride too, but I was going to try and work on it. Feeling a bit bad, I dug into my satchel to see if I and any kind of food that I swamped it before I jumped out of the plane.

"Where are you from, son?" Malarky asked now with a thick American accent, almost sounding hawkish as I dug out a good amount of bread that I snuck out of the mess hall from our old home. Sure what I was about to do was going to get me yelled at by the others in my group, let alone get death glares. But at this point I wanted to be a better person than I was before I came into the war. I wanted to be kind, since I was now known as the moral compass to the group of men that I was fighting with.

"Eugene, Oregon." One of the replied in a German accent, having Malarky look back at him as the rest of the men were walking by. As he went over to talk to the German captive, I walked to the other that was next to him, handing him the bread and seeing him eye me suspiciously as he took it. I smiled at him and nodded at him once.

"_Danke_" (Thank you) he replied to me with a small look of niceness on his face, since he was still trying to make sure I was not playing a trick on him. I would be doing the same too, and I just smiled at him sheepishly as I walked away from him.

"_Gern geschehen."_ (Don't mention it) I replied back to him, seeing his eyes going wide from hearing that I was a female. I must have looked like another male in the army, which made me kind of glad that I had some sort of advantage. I could go under cover more and more and not be discovered, which would be the worst case scenario for me. I just walked on, seeing Winters look behind his shoulder at me. He saw what I did, and I was waiting for something to happen and for him to yell at me or something of that nature. But he motioned for me to walk up to be next to him, having me quicken my pace as I heard Perctone behind us calling out to Malarky to catch up.

"You gave him your bread, Liebgott?" Winters asked me in a cool tone, though I was ready for any kind of yelling on his part.

"He looked hungry, sir." I merely replied, looking dead ahead at the road in front of us.

"So you give him the last of your rations?" He asked me, still confused as to why I would do that to him, but there was no lace of anger in his voice at all. I sighed, thinking of how I was going to defend myself with him now since he was my leader and my life was somehow in the balance of his hands.

"Sir, if there's one thing that I don't want to loose while being in this war, it's my sense of morality." I explained to him calmly, though I was still bold in what I was telling him. I knew right and wrong, when it came to human beings in the world. It was how Joe and I were different, much to my dismay. I knew how to take care of people because my heart for the human race around me was too strong and too pure to break. Winters were silent as we walked, though I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was smiling underneath his own helmet.

* * *

><p>We made it to the farm that we were pointing to by the soldier, though in front of the road was a massive amount of deceased cow that was blocking the way. But my eyes wen tup to look everywhere at the sea of American soldiers that were there, all talking to each other and sitting on the dirt road or along the walls. This was one of our meeting points, and this meant that Joe and the others would have to be here waiting for the rest of Easy to get there. I panicked a bit, since I couldn't find him at first amongst the faces of worn out men. We moved around the dead animal bodies in the middle of the road, though my eyes were carefully scanning the area as to where my twin was.<p>

Taking off my helmet, I didn't make it around the corner until I heard a few whistles from the other side of the road. I looked over and smiled so big, though my legs were heavy enough from all the walking into the night. There were some more of my Easy Company boys, including my brother Joe. He was sitting against one of the haystacks, talking to another soldier when we approached them.

"Look who it is! Easy! Heya fellas!" A soldier said aloud, Joe looking over and seeing me instantly. I grind, having me watch as he shot himself off the haystack and jogged over to me practically, engulfing me into his arms and lifting me off the ground in a massive hug. I clung onto him, no longer having the hunting thoughts that he was either wounded or dead. No, he was holding me close and sighing into my shoulder as we hugged in the middle of the muddy road with the other soldiers reuniting together and talking amongst each other.

"Thank God you're okay, Jemmie." He murmured into my jacket, placing me back down on the floor and then looking at me up and down. I knew that look he had, the same look he would give after I would have a seizure or if some guy would get too close to me. He framed my face gently in his hands, having me feel how cold his fingers were against my cheeks.

"You okay?" He asked me in concern, "You're not hurt or nothing?"

"I'm fine, really Joe. I landed on the ground perfectly without breaking a sweat." I joked with him, seeing him break out in a smile for the first time since we reined mere moments before. I scanned him too from my own spot, seeing that he and some scuffs here and there but he was non the less fine from what I was observing.

"How about you?" I asked him in curiosity.

"I'm doing fine over here, Jemmie." He reassured him, having me grin at him and then look around me at the other men who were there at the meeting point. Joe pulled away from me as I rearranged my satchel on my shoulder blade since it was about to get sore from holding onto it for so long.

"How long have you been here?" I asked him in curiosity.

"Since early this morning. Saw some men from F Company coming this way and I tagged along, thinkin' they were going to the same place. How about you? Where did you come from?" Joe asked me as I noticed some wounded soldiers in the distance on the other side of the farm.

"No idea. Malarky flagged me down fifteen minutes after I landed, then we ran into Toye and Guarne two hours later on the road. After we followed the railroad, we found Lipton, Winters, Popeye and three others from D Company." I explained to him, though I could see some men were walking around with wounds on their arms and shoulders from either the jump or attacks that have happened before.

"Good thing you guys are the ones that made it then." I looked back at Joe with a look of confusion now, since he looked graver about whatever he said.

"What are ya talking about?" I asked, shifting my weight from one foot to another.

"We're the only ones from Easy Company that's here, Jemmie." Joe explained, having me freeze from my spot and look around again. There were only 9 of us here, that was practically nothing. I wondered where the rest were: Bull, Luz, and the other men. Even Eugene, since I haven't seen him here yet and that scared me even more. How could we be the only ones? Before I could even answer the question, a gunfire that was fairly large went off, having everyone in the area freeze and look in that direction. So far, it was not looking good in our favor and I gulped.

"Hey Joe, I'm going to go help those men who are wounded. Keep tabs for me, will ya?" I asked him aloud, seeing him look back over at me and grip by shoulder before I could move away from him. He looked at me now with both a serious glare, and a concerned one. It was if as though he was afraid that if I left his sight again, he wouldn't see me alive.

"Jemmie…" He started, but I shook my head at him and grabbed his hand that was on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm not going anywhere." I promised him, seeing him stare at me with a hard stare for a moment or two before letting me go. I was scared too, that if I turned and walked away from him, I would not see him again. He must have had the same kind of panic attack as soon as he landed on the ground, not knowing where I was and if I was alive. After giving him a reassuring smile, I turned my heel and walked away from him before it could get too mushy for the both of us. I still had a job to do here, to help the wounded and to keep them healthy. I took in a deep breath and clasped my hands together, going to the first victim.

Time to get to work.

* * *

><p>By the time I was done with my last wounded soldier, Easy Company soldiers were already going after the small Battalion of Germans that were out in the field with machine guns, since they were ordered to take over and destroy the guns before they would turn on us. So with the small handful of Easy soldiers that were there, they went off to the fight, and I was supposed to be on call in case they needed someone. I already helped at least 10 men who were walking around bloody from their jump and from not being experienced in the land since they had sore and rolled ankles with dislocated shoulders and broken fingers. But the more I helped them, the more I realized that I had no idea where the rest were.<p>

Joe was out there shooting and God knows getting his own neck on the line from being shot, and I was counting down the minutes until he would come back alive. Hell, I was doing that was the rest of the men in Easy since they were all so close to my heart. But as I finished and walked around the farm, my hands clutching the strap and my mind going over and over who was missing, I could hear a bit of commotion going on in front of me, having me look up and see another cluster of men coming our way from the entrance into the barn and looking around in confusion as to where they needed to go. I recognized those face, having me freeze from my pacing and smiled brightly.

More Easy members.

"Anyone know where we can get a drink in this God forsaken place?" The sweet sound of Luz imitating John Wayne filled the air, having me walk over to the group as they were coming into the farm area. The day was going by far too long for me, so I was glad to see some familiar faces there. I also saw Muck with him gleefully laughing from his imitation. As soon as he made eye contact with me though, He grinned from ear to ear and point right at me.

"The Jem of my life!" He said in a call, having me blush as he rushed over and hugged me close, Muck hugging me right after as I looked at the both of them with a sigh of relief. It was so good to see them both, and they were in high spirits though we were now in the middle of a war. Even his smile was reminding me of home, though it was hiding behind the sweat and grease that he had on his face.

"It's good to see you two goofballs." I said to the both of them, then looking behind them and seeing him watch me as I was searching the crowd of new soldiers again. But there was no luck from who I was trying to look for.

"He's not here, Jem." Luz said to me, having me look at me him and wonder who he was talking about. But then I saw him stare at me, the same look that I saw on the train when I was talk to….oh he knew. He knew how I felt about Eugene, for some reason he knew. I just eyed him, seeing that he was, in fact, telling the truth. That made my heart sink to the floor and my breath be lost beyond my lips.

"He'll turn up, Jem." Muck reassured me from next to Luz, whom nodded his head and I just bit my lip. I just wanted to find Eugene again and know that he was safe. But when would I see him again. My once small sense of relief that came over me from seeing Muck and Luz was no longer there, and the familiar sense of dread was coming over me again. I just wanted to find him again.

Where was Eugene?

* * *

><p>"Okay, Popeye. I'm almost done." I reassured him as I was working on his wound, which was his ass, and we were in our new town in the dead of night. After a full day of combat, all of the boys made it out okay. All expect the one soldier that was with Winters from D Company: Hall. He fell at the fight, and I could tell that Winters was a bit moved by it. But now I was working on Popeye who was lying on his belly and was resting his head on his hands, already looking uncomfortable for that fact that I was working on mending his sorry ass.<p>

"I feel as though now I should at least buy you dinner." He grumbled at me as I had him situated on the cot that was propped up on one of the trucks that were about to head out to the hospital where the wounded soldiers were going to go. I was finished prepping him for the journey, and I laughed as I dabbed the area with my gauze and medicine.

"Don't push your luck, Popeye. I'm not an easy woman to take out." I warned him, hearing him chuckle from his spot on his belly.

"If only Kitty would let me take you out to dinner." He confessed, having me finish on his wound and tap him on the shoulder to signal that I was done.

"Just take her out instead for me when you get him after this war's over. But for now, just get some rest and stay off your ass: Combat Medic's orders." I explained, hearing him agree and I walked off since he was taken care of by other medics who were getting him ready for the move to the hospital. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I walked on the cobbled steps that were in the new town, the rest of Easy Company were back and safe from the battle and were now trying tog et some food before we moved out again to the next spot. I was glad to be moving around again, though I wished that I could get some sleep in me since I was fixing so many soldiers with my hands.

Going along the jeeps and hearing every conversation that was under the flaps of the jeeps, I thought back to Eugene again, since now it's been over a day since we saw each other. Was he lost? Was he even okay? Get it together, Jemima. Please get your own mind together and concentrate. Would he really want you to freak out over him right now? You're acting like a silly girl, and that needs to stop.

"Jemima?" I looked up, hearing my name as if it was a pure breath from someone who just saw a ghost. It was Eugene, standing a bit away from me and looking like he was staring at a ghost in front of me, and I was giving him the same look. He was right in front of me in his combat gear, looking completely fine with nothing to show that he was hurt or wounded. He was safe, thank God he was safe. Within the both of us just staring at each other in pure shock, he took two big steps and engulfed me in his arms. I was frozen solid, not knowing why he was holding me and giving me a hug like this, both of his arms were around me keeping me protected and safe. But I then hugged him back gently, feeling him sigh in relief in my arms as were found each other again in war.

"You're okay." I gasped in his embrace, feeling his hold on me tighten.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay." He reassured me, having me smile in his hold as we were hugging each other. My first full day of the war was over.

I had plenty of more to go.


	12. Chapter 12

**June 8th, 1944**

**Normandy, France**

I stayed mostly with Easy throughout the night, since no one had the real desire to sleep though Winters encouraged it for us to get our strength. I had to do something to make my mind at ease, walk around and tap my fingers, read more from my book and trying to memorize some of the poems in there, even humming to myself was turning into a chore. But it was good to see most of their faces since some of them were still missing and have no turned up yet at our meeting point there in the town.

After Eugene and I reunited, we stay up some of the night talking about how our jumps went and what happened since we landed on the ground. I was just glad he was there safe, and I told him all that happened with me and my jump. I think for me it was just the fact that I could hear his voice and feel him hug me that made me realize that this was no dream, both good and bad. We were real Combat Medics now and we were going to have to rely on each other a lot when it came to medicine and soldiers. It was a haunting thing to think about, how we both were going to be in the line of fire sometime in the future. if not tomorrow, then the next day or at the next town. It was going to be something that would change me, but I was glad I wasn't the only one going through it as the sole Combat Medic there.

Eugene was lost himself for a bit, finding himself in some kind of farmland field surrounded by cows who went crazy when he almost landed on one. He and to hide quickly before German soldiers ran over to where he landed, in which he had to wait it out in the abandoned house until the soldiers left, realizing that there was nothing there but a empty parachute and one of his ripped jacket pockets that came undone. After they left, he went down the road a bit since he could read the road signs, going down a few houses until he saw one house was still awake.

He knocked on the door, seeing that it was a farm family and he asked where he can go to get to Saine Mere-Eglise, since he was fine speaking fully French at this point. He was pointed in the right direction with kinds, though he was afraid that he was going to be shot on the spot since he was a soldier. But once they saw he was American, they were polite none the less. He met up with Bull after in the wee hours of the morning and they walked together. According to Eugene, Bull landed in a tree and was almost killed by a German soldier, but he knocked him back with his bayonet just in time. By the time they reach our town, it was already nightfall and they were safe and sound.

"Just like that?" I asked him as we were sitting in one of the shops there in town that was abandoned, since the rest of the men were walking around in silence or in other shops talking together. I would join them, but Eugene seemed like better company.

"Yeah, it wasn't too bad. I was just glad I ran in Bull when I did." He replied back, his voice was thick in the softness of the room. There was silence between us then, even after he told me who he got here sounded so tiring for him to tell since he was looking out of from next to me, feet propped up and his arms resting out on his knees. HIs face already looked weathered, as if he already was in a battle or two. But we just landed, so who knew how the rest of the war was going to play out on his knees.

"I'm glad you're made it." I said to him softly, seeing him grin from his spot and look over at me with the same smirk.

"You were afraid that I didn't?" He asked me coyly, having me chuckle and shake my head.

"I knew you could. Hell, you can do anything, Eugene," I complimented him, it came out so smoothly and naturally from my lips, "I was just glad that you came here safely, you know?" _I was afraid for you, that you got hurt or killed and that you weren't going to come back to me._ If only I could say that to him.

"I'm glad you made it too," Eugene reassured me, his voice was softer now since it was only the two of us and the subject matter was a bit heavy to begin it, "I was kind of worried that you weren't going to be okay out there."

"Because I'm a girl?" I asked him with a shrug of my shoulder, no longer wanting to be cocky or smart ass like with him. He shook his head.

"You're my friend, Jemima. I was afraid that I wouldn't have been able to see you again since I care about you." He explained calmly, though my own heart rate was now accelerating since he confessed that he cared for me. I knew he cared for me, but it was just hearing it from his mouth, hearing it in his tone, that made me fall for him even harder from my spot. I tried so hard not to kiss him hard on the mouth since that would be beyond foolish. But I did the next foolish thing: I leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek. I had no regrets doing this since my heart was telling me to do this so many times since we met at Camp Toccoa. It was his kindness, the inner strength and the sheer drive for being a great medic that drew me to kiss on the cheek. I felt the warmth on his cheek as my lips touched it do delicately, like I was kissing a snowflake. When I pulled away a millisecond later, I smiled at him and just stared at me, blush was clearly evident on his cheek where I kissed him. I just left it there, since I wanted it to be between us: the forbidden kiss.

I read some more that night and he just stayed up, listening to me read some of them aloud just to pass the time. He was silent when I read to him, just gazing off in the distance and contemplating to himself as the others were talking together and trying to keep the moment light. I could have sworn I saw Joe and Bull walk by when they spotted Eugene and I, sitting together in one of the abandoned shops with a few candles lit because we were on noise and light discipline. We were sitting side by side against one of the dressers that were there, my reading was nice and soft against the deathly silence that was around us in the town. My voice was so soft in the musty room as I read the poem out loud on the page to Eugene:

"_A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,_

_And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,_

_And the dry stone no sound of water. Only_

_There is shadow under this red rock,_

_(Come in under the shadow of this red rock),_

_And I will show you something different from either_

_Your shadow at morning striding behind you_

_Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;_

_I will show you fear in a handful of dust."_

As I read this, I felt more and more of my worry and sense of fear was slipping through my lips and onto the paper that was so thin between my fingers. I was glad that I kept my book and I didn't loose it in the jump, it was some kind of anchor for me since this was still all too new to me. Eugene was quiet next to me, though I could see his eyes were warm again from me just reading to him. We had that effect on each other: just being near one another brought the other peace and tranquility. It was not safe waters for me, though he was safe enough for me. We knew each other so well at this point that we could read the other's face and see what was bothering the other, how the other was feeling, and where the other wanted to go. He was my best friend, and I was his.

We would protect each other from anyone and anything, but was there more beyond that?

* * *

><p>I walked out of the building where I was taking a break in, cracking my back once again and being greeted by the sun that was shining down right on me and having me squint from feeling the harshness against my eyes and skin. We were still in Normandy and were about to get ready to head out to the new assignment that would be given to us. Most of us were not able to sleep since we were still on the edge from our first jump and just getting our nerves settled. The boys did good in the fields near the farm, and now all we had to do was wait. Waiting, at least to me, was the worst thing we could do. We were on the edge, since every noise we would hear would make us jump in our uniform and turn our blood quicker.<p>

"Morning, Jem!" Webster said to me as he walked over from the courtyard where all the men were, having me yawn from my spot and scratch my hair as he grinned at me. It was always nice to see Webster since he never had any kind of scowl on his face or a meanness to him compared to Guarnene or even Martin for that matter. He was kind, intelligent, and a good hearted guy.

"What time is it?" I asked him in wonder, seeing that the sun was high up already.

"Too late to call it morning now, actually." He replied, having me chuckle and straighten out my own uniform and feel my hair was in a knot from sleeping on it. Pulling out the tie on the end, I smoothed it out with my fingers and looked around at the others in the square. Most of them were sprawled out on the statue steps or around the buildings, just being around each other with talks and murmurs.

"I must of overslept a meeting. Great." I mutters as I started to braid my hair again.

"Nope, no meeting yet. I think more men are coming through and once they get here, Welsh wants to talk to us." Webster explained, having me nod my head to show that I heard him.

"You still reading that one book Doc got you for your birthday?" Webster asked me, having me pause mid braid and look at him with a confused look.

"Why you ask?" I asked him lightly, though I was wondering why he brought up the book, a completely different subject.

"Just wondering is all, Jem. Maybe when we go though another town, I can look out for another book for you read since I'm sure you'd be sick of just one book for so long." Webster explained, having me grin at him.

"Sure, though I do like the book I'm reading right now." I replied back, now seeing him give me a teasing smirk from right in front of me.

"Oh, I'm sure you like it since it came from someone real special." He hinted, now having me glare at him with annoyance. Now he was on the bandwagon with the teasing that was against me, which started with Luz and now was making its way around the whole company with Eugene and I not knowing about it. They were sneaky, but not sneaky enough.

"Web, don't say something that you're going to regret with a black eye." I warned him in a light tone, seeing him just shake his head with the grin still there, showing no sign of meanness to me or hostility.

"I'm just saying…it's kind of cute. Our two Medics reading into the dead of the night some poetry from T.S. Eliot. Kind of like a forbidden romance, don't you think?" He asked as we both walked over to the main area where we saw some more men coming into, Including Blithe and Hall who were reuniting with us.

"Easy there, tiger. I think if you said that louder I would have gotten kicked out from the Company and the army from our officers because of the subject matter. And besides, since when do you know T.S. Eliot?" I asked him, trying to change the subject on him since I clearly did not want to talk about my romance life in the army in front of him.

"I read too, Jem. I'm not like all the guys here who prefer comics or porn spreads. I study books at Harvard before I came here, so I read up on the guy once or twice. He's not too bad." I heard the end of it being sarcastic, having me grin at him and then my gaze go back over to what the guys were doing. Joe was holding out a flag for Hall to look at as if it was some kind of prize and I cringed from seeing it: A nazi flag. I didn't even want to look at it, since I knew what it meant and represented. It made me feel worse since I was, technically, a Jew. That flag then was the symbol of my enemy. I even wonder why Joe was holding it up like a trophy and how there was a hint of satisfaction behind his glint in his eye. Was it because he was hiding that fact that the symbol was hurting him too?

"I'll keep my eye out for a book for you." Webster said to me, having me snap my gaze from my brother over to him. Webster was seeing the same thing too, and though he looked cool next to me, I could tell it bothered him too. I nodded in agreement with him.

"I'll do the same, there has to be some books lying around here and there. And hey, while we're at it, let's make it a book club!" I said too gleefully, trying to lighten the mood again as I slapped him on the shoulder. He eyed me suspiciously as we were then all called over to the courtyard. As Webster and I walked over, I could see Eugene walk over with Spina from inside the building where I came out of. Eugene found me with his eyes and walked over to me in a brisk pace, having me see some sort of urgency in his eyes.

"What's up, Eugene?" I asked him as more and more Easy Company members were huddling together in front of Harry Welsh.

"Got word from one of the other Combat Medics in H Company," Eugene explained to me, having me watch him carefully as he took in a deep breath but still looking out of it, "The Medics from both I and Bravo Company didn't make the jump."

"Shit," I cursed under my breath as we were waiting to hear what our brief before we moved out, "They both died."

"One did, and the other got hit back by two bullets to the chest." Eugene explained some more in a low tone, having me see that it looked real to him, too real. We were the bigger target, to be fair, when it came to war. We had no gun or weapon to work with, and the odds of us getting hit was higher than before. All we had to do was run, and get the wounded safe and out of harm's way. Two of us already were in the way, and they were taken out. I could see it in Eugene's eyes a bit, though he was strong enough for the both of us. I grabbed his jacket carefully, having the material go between my fingers as if it was second nature. Eugene looked at me carefully then, having me give him a serious look.

"That won't be us, Eugene." I reminded him, seeing him watch me intently. He was scared that it was going to us one day int his war, one minute being alive and the next being dead. But I was petrified from the thought, more than him. He could hide it, but I couldn't. There was something in me though that told me to be strong and not show the sign of fear that was threatening to expose itself on my sign and in my eyes. But what I said was fact. It was true, and that's all I had to say to him on the subject as Welsh spoke up finally.

"No talking, no smoking, and no playing grab-fanny with the man in front of you, Luz." He explained, having me look over at Luz and see him somewhat smirk from his spot.

"So, where are we headed to, lieutenant?" someone asked from the crowd.

"We're taking Carentan." He replied.

"That sounds like fun." Perconte called out.

"It's the only place where armor from Omaha and Utah Beach can link up and head inland. Until we can take Carentan, they're stuck on the sand. General Taylor's sending the whole division." Welsh explained from more, having us all intake a breath at the gravity of the situation.

"Remember boys, give me three days and three nights of hard fighting, and you will be relieved!" Luz intimidated Taylor, hearing some of us chuckle from his remark as I looked over at Eugene again, seeing him look more serious again. I was still holding his jacket, I realized, and we were closer to each other to almost brushing shoulders, reluctantly I released his hand and placed my own back at my side, looking back at the conversation with Welsh in front of me, trying to mentally go into combat medic mode. I had to start thinking strategic ways to not get hurt in the upcoming mission, and how I was going to have to be fast and quick when it came to mending soldier's wounds and cleaning up blood. As we walked out to the next place, my satchel in place and my mind already trying to be ready for what was ahead of me, I had no idea Eugene was watching me.

Giving me the look like I was about to step into hell.

* * *

><p>I hated waiting. It was hell, it was literally hell. I was bouncing on my toes now, at the edge of the safe zone and hearing what was happening in the town and how the men were already fighting and shooting, So far, not even 15 minutes into the battle, there was already heavy fire and buildings crumbling around the area as Easy and others were in there, fighting the Germans. All I had to do was wait, wait for someone to call out for help. This was the worst, since it could happen at any moment and they could be severely hurt or just having a cut on the leg.<p>

I wasn't the only one waiting, Eugene was right next to me as well. But unlike me, he was so still against the dirt road, watching the entire thing as well as I was and I was just shaking with my feet tapping the dirt beneath me and my fingers tapping against my jacket and pants of my uniform. It was like I was racing again when I was in high school, waiting for the gun to go off so I could run. This was far beyond different though, and I was not aiming to get a ribbon at the end of the race. I was aiming to save a life.

"Take a deep breath, Jemima." Eugene instructed to me from my right, he sounded so cool and collective through his own eyes were scanning the entire battle with intensity. His lips were in a thin line, not moving and not showing emotion.

"Why aren't they calling out for a medic yet?" I asked in a worried tone, scanning the area with my own eyes and hearing more gunshots, along with shouting in both English and German.

"Because they don't need one yet." Eugene reminded me, having me just shake my head.

"What if they can't call out for us and they need us? What if something's wrong?" I asked in a rushed pace, thinking of so many scenarios where someone could be hurt and not be able to cry out for help. That was the worst, not being able to help out in what I was meant to do. But Eugene took my hand in his, still standing next to me, and I finally broke my gaze from the scene in front of me and over to Eugene, whom was now looking at me with both warm and serious eyes.

"It's okay, Jemima." He reminded me again, his voice was softer now and I could feel as though he was trying to take the weight of the stress off my shoulders like a blanket. He gave me a reassuring smile and I tried so hard to smile, but the realness of the whole battle in front of me, where my brother is and the rest of the men I called my family, was weighing down on me so hard. It was a brief moment I had with Eugene until we heard the infamous call.

"MEDIC!"

Both of our heads snapped to the front again, and I released his hand. We both bolted into a run, my hands pumping at my sides as I was now in medic mode. The call was in the heart of the battle, and we were both running full force. Our satchels were smacking against out jackets, our breathing was shallow and even with our running, and our feet hitting the dirt in every strive as we were in our own race against time for who was hurt. I was in a mission now, like I was back in the streets of San Francisco, racing my brother against others who thought they could beat me. I was wicked fast now, and this was more serious.

We reached the edge of the city, the both of us going up against the buildings and loping around us as bullets were flying over us. I looked around as I ran along the buildings in the edge of a store that was abandoned, ripped to pieces and about to fall over. I could hear more people shouting, things flying in the air and near my ear as I took in a deep breath. I was in the battle now, no turning back.

"MEDIC!" We heard it again, both Eugene and I heard it from the left, making us run over and to the smaller street on the side. One of the men was on the ground, clutching his neck and the blood was coming out of his fingers. Oh God, my first victim in a real battle. I bolted over to him, Eugene behind me as I slid on my knees up to him, grabbing his face gently and seeing him look up at me in a panicked look.

"Help me Jem." He pleaded his eyes were big and filled with fear. I nodded my head, reaching into my satchel with what I needed: powder and gauze.

"Hold still and breathe." I explained to him as Eugene got his supplies out too. I framed his face in my hands as I handed Eugene the powder, hearing him rip it open and splatter it on the wound with the man grunting.

"Keep your eyes on me, keep breathing in through your nose and our through your mouth, nice and slow." I instructed as I wrapped the gauze around his neck gently, seeing him breath as I told him to do so, getting him patched up and ready to go within no time. It was a nice and clean wrap, good enough for me as I placed my hand on his back and helped him up to sit instead of being on his back.

"Get out of here, soldier." I said to him, seeing him hop up slowly with his gun in hand and going off to fight some more. Eugene and I got up again, pressing ourselves against the wall in case someone was watching us.

"Come on." Eugene grabbed my hand again, but this time was to get me out of the open as we snuck into the abandoned shop that was closest to us. We were still under fire, and going out in this time would seem like a death sentence since bullets were hitting the ground hard everywhere and soldiers were running left and right, some of them getting hit and dropping dead to the floor.

"What now?" I asked Eugene in panic as a bullet got a little too close for my taste, having me jump back a bit, as well as Eugene.

"We wait until someone else is bleedin' out." Eugene replied back in a huff as I looked up above us at the building right across from us. Someone was moving in one of the windows, having me squinted to see what it was: A German Solider. He opened the window, looking right at the both of us and he threw something out of his hand right at us. Oh god, a grenade. It gave me only a second to react, since I felt a second was all that I had before I could be killed.

"Eugene, move!" I screamed, the both of us diving in different directions as there was an explosion. The sound was booming, but that was the motion compared to the push that it had upon my body. I was knocked off my feet, literally, into the wall that on my right since that was the direction I jumped, things around me were falling, having me cover my head and neck as I felt bricks land and roll off of me. It was hard for me to breathe, though it was not enough to knock me out for good.

After things died down, I got up slowly and coughed, feeling the dust fill my lungs and getting new bruises and scratches on my neck and hands. I blinked a few times, trying to find where I was. I was in the shop next door, which meant that shop Eugene and I were in was no long gone. Oh God, where was Eugene? I panicked, brushing off the rest of the bricks and seeing blood already on my hands and I was about to yell out for him when I heard someone already beat me to it.

"Jem, you okay?! Jem!" I whirled behind me, having me see Bull jog over to me with a panicked look on his face. I nodded my head, seeing him grab my jacket to get me out of the line of fire.

"We need to get you under cover, come on Jem." he ordered me, though I was to fight his hold on me to go and find Eugene.

"Where's Eugene!" I asked him in a roar, seeing him look back at me and then back at the remains of the shop Eugene and I were in. I looked too, seeing on the other side someone coming up from the rubble and looking around in panic. It was Eugene, and he too was covered in dirt and sweat. There were splatters of blood on his face as he looked around with worry and fear on his face.

"JEMIMA!" He screamed on the top of his lungs, having me see him finally look over at me. I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes as we made eye contact with one another. He thought I was dead, he thought I left him behind. What a feeling. Was it heartache?

"Eugene, RUN!" I screamed back, motioning with my hands to tell him to get out of there. He kept his eyes on me for a moment before bolting getting out of sight as Bull pulled me again. I followed this time, the both of us running along the walls and missing bullets that were trying to hit us. I thought for a second that I was going to loose Eugene in that explosion, my own heart merely broke for a solid second before realizing that he was okay.

"Medic! Medic help!" I heard the call, breaking from Bull and I bolted towards the sound again with nothing else on my mind but to find whoever was calling out for me. Soldiers were running past me left and right, thought I dodged them and I tried to hard to keep my pace up and light. My boots were lighter than air as I dodged the fallen windows and door frames, trying to breathe without suffocating from the scent of blood, dead bodies and rubble along with smoke and torn skin. My mind was on the prize, a soldier whom was propped up against a wall of a pretty torn up building that look like he was about to collapse. I peppered over and saw it was Sisk, another Easy member, and I ran over to him. His arm was bleeding out, and it looked like he wasn't going to be able to use it with a bit of morphine.

"Hang, on Sisk." I ordered him, digging through my bag and getting out the morphine along with the powder and bandage. I rolled up his sleeve of his jacket, seeing the wound that was the size of a nickel on his smooth skin and the blood pouring out. Brushing it off I got to work with the powder and then the shot of morphine before getting the bandage there on the wound. He was staying still, though I could tell from his kicking that he hated the pain that I was causing him to get him better. it was when I tied the bandage that I heard something crack from above us, having the both of us look up and see a part of the roof falling off, right over us and about to kill us.

"Sisk, move!" I said to him, wrapping my arms around him and rolled the both of us out of the way before he could react. He clung onto me though his arm was still hurting, he never released me as we did this. We rolled on the dirt ground as the roof barely missed the fallen pieces of the roof, Sisk hugging me back as we rolled a few more feet over and our helmets colliding as we did this. But by the time we stopped rolling, we both were on our sides and breathing out shaky breaths. It might have looked odd on my part, but I had to save him from dying by crushed bricks and metal.

"You okay?" I asked him as we got up from our spots, but Sisk was cut off from my remark as something was running over to us: a German Soldier. He threw me behind him, shielding me as he shot at the soldier who fell after two shots, hitting the ground like sacked potatoes. He saved me then, without a second more or less. We just saved each other within fifteen seconds from death, and I felt as though it was an out of body experience. Sisk got up, grabbing my arm and helping me up as he grinned at me.

"You good?" He asked me, having me nod my own head at him. He acted like this was nothing, like it was another day for him.

"Yeah, thanks, Sisk." I thanked him, seeing him shake his head.

"Naw, thank you for saving me." He said to me in a huff as I watch him jog off to go back to the fight. Within a few minutes, I almost died twice, this made me really rethink of how I was going about this Combat Medic job. I took out a deep breath and ran, no longer wanting to be out in the open anymore.

I ran for an archway that was near me, hiding behind the columns and looked around me. I couldn't see any of the Germans anymore, it was mostly Americans. Was that a good thing? There was still firing going on and the ground was flying up and around from the bullets hitting it so hard. I had nowhere to go to that point, so I staying behind the open area, thinking that it was my best bet and that I would be fine there. I wasn't until I was met by Malarky and Guarnene that I knew that we were at least doing okay with the fight.

"You still alive, Jem?" Guarnene asked me over the gunfire. I nodded my head, not saying a word as both Guarnene and Malarky stopped by me, somewhat blocking me from being seen and starting shoot like it was nothing to them, seconds nature.

"Where's Doc?" Malarky asked me in a loud tone.

"How should I know?" I asked him back in retaliation.

"Well you two are attached by the hip at this point." Malarky argued with me, having me wish I could punch him there in front of everyone, but this was not the time at all. I was trying to make sure I wasn't shot at. But that was short-lived, since a bullet just sliced over my hand that was was clutching the column in front of me. The slice was clean, not deep, but enough to have me cry out and scream in pain. I brought the wounded hand to my chest, tears were threatening to hit my eyes as both Malarky and Guarnene looked at me now in panic. They saw my hands to my chest, the blood coming through my fingers and how I was berthing in a panicked pace now.

"Jesus, Jem!" Malarky said as he squatted down in front of me, placing his rifle on his arm as Guarnene kept shooting to protect the both of us. He was about to take my hand to cheek it, but I clutched it tighter to me, like a child refusing to give up a toy.

"Get the powder from the bag, and the wrap." I grunted through the pain, my teeth gritting in pain as Malarky shuffled through my bag to find what I told him to find. He grabbed the powder, ripping it open as I moved my damaged hand to be in between us. I saw the slice from the bullet, a nice clean cut from the thumb bone to the other side of the top of my hand, like a blade on a sword. He sprinkled the powder on top, having me gasp out in pain but not scream as he got the powder there and then handing me the spare wrap that I had. I wrapped my own hand, trying to get it done fast as I looked up and past Malarky.

On the other side of the street there was a few soldiers that were German that were about to go over to the intersection, where I saw 5 of our own men were and they didn't see them. They were about to be slaughtered and I had to think of something to stop the Germans since I had no weapons. I threw out my damaged hand, that was still bloody and shaking from the pain, and Malarky, followed my pointed finger.

"_Stoppen Sie, wo Sie sind!" _(Stop where you are) I screamed, seeing all three of the German Soldiers freeze from hearing a German command being thrown at them. They all look in our direction, just in time for Malarky to hop up and throw a grenade in their direction, They were blown to bits within second, having me sigh in relief and lean against the column once more as the battle was dying down. I closed my eyes, trying to breath again with normalcy as my own body was now trying too hard not to fall asleep on me from the sheer exhausting that I was going through.

"Good call, Jem," Malarky said to me, having me open my eyes and seeing him reach down to grab my arm, "Come on, I'll get you out of here since we're practically winning." I nodded in agreement, following him out from the open archway and over on a side street, staying close to him as I saw the open countryside again. I survived my first battle in the war, and as I should be feeling happy that I survived the whole thing, I felt heavy. I almost died twice, and almost lost my hand, but then again it could have been worse.

What a day.


	13. Chapter 13

Malarky and I got our way back to the base camp that we were at for the battle though my own hand was still burning from the gunshot that happened there. I was trying to hard to breathe out normally since I could feel a seizure coming through from just surviving my first battle. It was hard for me to get over, since the twitching was now going up and down my arm, where my bloody hand was shaking pretty hard now and I was clutching my arm to calm it down.

"Come on, Jem. You okay?" Malarky said to me over his shoulder since he was in front of me. I looked up at him, watching him and nodding my head since the last thing that I wanted to do was to have him see me go through a seizure in front of him. Although I said nothing in return, my own head was screaming at me to tell him that I was fine and that he didn't need to worry about me. We walked along the road some more, only for a solid minute before we reached the main base camp for us. There were soldiers meeting together under tents that were set up, talking about different strategies and how we were going to win this battle. There was a small little house that we took over as the medic station, where I knew I and to go since I wanted to dress this wound more on my hand and get it cleaned up more. But I was beaten to it as I saw someone coming out of the house and looking over at me with big eyes.

Eugene.

"Thank God." I gasped out loud, Malarky stopping his own walk and looking behind me to see what I was talking about. But then he looked over too, seeing Eugene at the door of the medical area, and he grinned at me, tapping me on the shoulder once.

"Adorable." He joked though I was too enthralled with seeing Eugene fine as he walked over to me in a fast pace, like he was trying to reach me without running. Malarky walked away as I walked over to Eugene, the both of us meeting in the middle and I was about to talk to him and make sure that he was okay, but he went for my damaged hand. I couldn't say anything as he took my hand gently in his own, both of them, and he was analyzing my hand before he could say a word for me. It was something that made me not say anything, since just seeing him in front of me unharmed was enough for me not to talk.

"You've been shot." Eugene explained as he took off the wrap from my hand. I squinted from the feeling of the air hitting the wound, which was now looking a bit worse than before since I only wrapped it to get it out of the way. The wound needed to be handled with, and I felt kind of bad since I was showing this to Eugene who was looking more concerned about it.

"It's nothing." I reassured him, but he shook his head. I could tell his fingers and thumbs press against my skin on my hand and wrist, trying to figure out in his head on how he was going to help with my hand. It was still plastered in dry blood at this point, with the dark crimson coming from the top of the hand was still moist.

"Come on, I'll dress it for you." He said to me calmly, but he sounded urgent about it. He grabbed my wrist, trying to avoid touching my hand and get me more hurt as he lead me over to the medical area and the house. I shook my head, thinking that in my head that I was going to be another victim for him to take care of and to be seen as weak.

"Eugene, it's fine." I tried to tell him calmly, though I knew my stubborn side was about to come over me again since I never wanted anyone to look after me at this point. Hell, I almost died three times already at this battle alone, so now I could really handle anything that was thrown at me. Well, except the fact that I was being dragged by Eugene, whom I had a mad crush on, to the medical house over what could be seen as a scrape.

"It's not fine when it gets infected and you can get sick." Eugene replied back to me dryly, still grasping my wrist hard enough to pull me long but soft enough to comfort me at the same time. Once we were inside, I saw the vast amount of people running around in the small area. There were wounded there, but most of them were well-taken care of at this point as we were weaving our way through the area to the back room that was mostly deserted from anyone there. There was only one soldier that was wounded to the collarbone, but he was already asleep on the dresser they placed him on as Eugene sat me down on the chair that was there. I glared at him at this point, since he was already going to mend me whether I liked it or not.

"Honestly, it's fine." I tried again, but he was already getting his satchel out and ready for use. I noticed on the flap his own patch that Spina gave him: Fleur-de-lis. It was gold in contrast to his brown flap of his satchel. It represented his home in Louisiana, and it somewhat represented him perfectly since it was both delicate and fierce.

"Not unless it gets infected." Eugene reminded me again, having me sigh and pull my hand away from him for once, seeing him now glare at me since I was clearly fine from where I was.

"Come on, it doesn't need to be looked at." I argued with him now, no longer wanting to be sweet about it and he just shook his head.

"Let me dress it." He urged me, since he too was clearly getting agitated with my stubbornness.

"And you didn't think I already did that?" I asked him back, trying to keep my own voice well. It was like he thought I had no idea what I was doing when it came to taking care of my own wounds and cares.

"Goddamnit, Jemima. Just give me your damn hand and let me help you." Eugene ordered at me, having us both glare at each other and see that this was going nowhere for the both of us if we were still going to dig our heels in. I sighed, after steering at him for a long moment and then threw out my hand, almost in pity, as he took it in both of his hands again, still just as gentle as before and he analyzed the wound with his eyes. I hated being prideful in front of him since that was something I knew would be my downfall.

"It's just a surface would with nothing too deep." I explained to him, my nursing side coming in as I felt him move around my hand gently to see the wound at a different angle. He then reached into his own satchel, giving me a moment to look at his own scratches and bruises from the battle. There are some scrapes on his face, some on his jawline and others above his eyes. His own hair was sticking up and around the place from being under his helmet for so long.

"Not deep enough for stitching." Eugene agreed with me in his own low tone, having me nod in agreement though I was trying really hard to not counter back with a snarky remark.

"Pressure on the wound and some plasma will help." I urged him, now seeing him eye me as I was just staring at him with a softer look instead of a death glare. I was no longer mad at him for trying to take care of me. He then had a small smile on his face as he got out the things that were needed. I just sat there, letting him take care of me in that moment of time, it was another way for me bring another wall in my life down. Eugene started to mend the wound, having me sit there patiently without squirming in pain or showing any kind of discomfort in my life.

"You look okay." Eugene finally voiced out to me, having me look up at him in confusion as to what he was meaning from that statement.

"Okay?" I asked him, seeing him carefully look at me and still holding my hand in both of his like he was holding something feather precious to him, or that must of been me.

"Well, we both almost died from the grenade that was thrown right at us, if you didn't see it in time." Eugene explained as he spread some more of the powder on my wound and I then nodded my head slowly.

"You look good too," I added, though my mind was going back to the moment when we just missed the grenade coming over us and we dived out of the way, the both of us covered in rubble. But it was when he sprung up from the rubble, screaming my name as if I was dead, that made me see him with so much more passion in my own heart and within my own eyes for him, "I'm sorry for scaring you like that."

He paused, his hands stilling for a moment to drink in what I was telling him. He must of thought of the same moment too, when he thought that I was dead and he couldn't find me. He kept his eyes down, but I could read that something was haunting him, like a forgotten dream that he wished he could forget and never remember. Finally, he looked up at me and I saw the small look of pain there, maybe from rethinking that memory again.

"I just…" He trailed off, trying to find the right words when we were interrupted. We both looked behind us at the opening of the door, having me see two soldiers come in and one of them looked beyond repair. He was covered in blood, his face mangled and his leg was nowhere close to being healed within hours or days. That poor soldier was a mess, but it was the other soldier who was carrying him with one arm under his armpit that made my heart drop. It was Joe, and he looked out of it as well.

I whirled around to see Eugene and see where he was with my hand. He was done with it, the new wrapping on my hand looked professional and clean. I pulled my hand way from him and bolted away from Eugene over to my brother, who was struggling to carry the guy in since the soldier only had one good leg.

"Joe!" I called to him, seeing him look around at the call of his name. As soon as he found me, he grunted as I got the other side of the soldier, whom was looking like he was in so much pain and turmoil that it broke my own heart as I helped Joe get him over to the table that was in the room.

"What in the hell happened?" I asked Joe as we both lifted him on the table, having me examine the soldier and his wounds with my eyes to see what I needed to work on first. Joe threw off his helmet, having me see the dirt and grime on his face compared to the whiteness of his forehead and his eyes were still shifty.

"Tipper stumbled on a grenade in a shop, came out lookin' like this." he explained in a huff as he sat down on the chair next to Tipper, who was shaking and gasping air. I looked from head to toe, see that this was going to be Hell to try and fix him in one sitting. Joe then grabbed my wrist gently, seeing my hand and the wrapping on it. HIs eyebrows knitted together in both confusion and concern.

"What happened to you?" He asked me in a calm tone, but I knew it was going to be laced with concern and fear. I pulled away from him within a moment, since I already had to deal with Eugene when it came to my safety and dealing with Joe was the last thing that I needed.

"Don't worry about it." I replied, looking back at him briefly and see the agitation in his eyes since I wasn't telling him anything about the wound. I glared back at him for a moment, showing him with my eyes that I had no time for his protective brother nature. He would have to live with the fact that we both were going to get hurt in this war, and we would have to let some of our grip on each other loosen a bit. So I focused back on Tipper, my eyes on his body. There was too much blood for me to handle at that point, but I saw Tipper with his one good eye that was not swollen shut and doused in his own blood look over at me with a glimmer of hope in his eye.

"You're going to be fine, Tipper. Just keep breathing in and out through your nose, can you do that for me?" I asked him calmly, seeing Tipper gasp out and nod his head. I smiled at him.

"Good, you're doing good so far, Tipper." I reassured him in a soothing tone. Joe sat up a bit in his chair and watched me intently before speaking to Tipper.

"Tipper, this is Jemima. She's my sister and our combat medic. Jem's one of the best nurses in the world, and you're lucky enough to have her workin' and ya and to fix ya up." Joe explained to him from his spot in his chair near Tipper's head. Joe would try to make the situation better for the man, that was how Joe worked. Tipper's eye was still on me as I smiled at him, placing my satchel off my shoulder and onto the spare room on the table. Before I went to work, I looked behind me one more time at Eugene, who was still in the room we were in before and was thinking to himself. He was in a hard concentration kind of thought, having me confused as to what he was going to tell me before we were interrupted. But I had no time for that, and I looked back at Tipper and pulled out my tools.

Here we go.

* * *

><p>After I got Tipper fixed as best as I could, he was sent off to the hospital and was taken care of there, though it pained me since i felt like I could of helped him more and made him less of a threat to death. But Joe stayed with me as I worked on him, hunched over his body and smoothly going over every part to keep it clean and healthy.<p>

I was working on his wounds for a solid two hours and not being able to take a break. Once I started on any kind of project, even if it was helping a wounded person, I would never be able to stop myself to catch a breath or just blink. I had momentum to keep going, and there was no reason to ever stop. So by the time Tipper was being sent off in a jeep to a hospital and even to America after that, I slumped in a chair and looked down at my hands.

They were still red from his blood and some my own blood, my wrapping on my hand was no longer looking pristine and clean but now tinted in color and worn from the constant moving of my hand. They were shaking since my concentration was making me go into a small seizure because of my brain working on overdrive. Joe was with me as Tipper was driving away, seeing my hands shaking my the tapping of my feet. Joe gently grabbed my arm, getting me into an abandoned room and had me go through the seizure as he waited by the door.

I was breathing in and out of my mouth as the shocks of energy was going through my body, looking over at my brother whom was guarding the door and having the exact same look of concern on his face. I must of looked like a wreck, since my own hair was a mess in the braid that I had on before the battle, my combat uniform was worn and tainted in blood from myself and the other soldiers I helped, and some of the color no longer on my face that I used to have.

"You good?" Joe asked me carefully as I took one more shaky breath from my chapped lips, nodding my head and looked back at him again with a reassurance.

"Yeah, I'm good." I replied in a breathy reply. He nodded his head at me.

"Good job for your first battle," he commented as I walked over to him from being in the middle of the room, "Word on the street is that you saved Sisk's ass from being crushed."

"Is that what they're saying?" I asked him back in a curious tone when we walked out from the room that we were in. More and more soldiers were resting there from the wounds they had, but they were none the less fine after being mended and taken care of. I saw at least three other medics running around from person to person, so it was nice to be able to take a breather and relax a bit.

"That and you barely missed a grenade with Doc and spared a bunch of guys from being shot to death by Krauts." Joe went on some more, having me no look at him in confusion to the term he was using with such bitterness.

"What did you call them?" I asked him back, my boldness was back again with the fact he used a slang term that sounded so cruel, even too cruel for me. He said it like it was nothing to him, just another word he would use in his vocabulary. But me, it sounded like a dull knife to the heart: very uncivilized.

"Krauts." He replied in a haughty reply, shrugging his shoulders, having me shake my head from hearing it again on his tongue. I hated how it sounded when he said it, almost poisonous and it felt like venom on the skin.

"Don't call them that." I warned him carefully, seeing him eye me as we were trying to weave our way through the crowded house with other soldiers talking here and there about the battle we just won. I saw the change in his eyes then, now he was looking at me a new light and it was scaring him that I was coming to his level and keeping him in check.

"Why not, that's what they are, aren't they?" He asked me in wonder, since he clearly thought it was fine.

"No, they're Germans." I reminded him, seeing him scoff at me as we were not outside the medical house and having me see some of the men moving around in peace finally from the victory, talking amongst each other with grins on their faces and eating rations that were stolen from them.

"So you now you're peeved that I call the guys we're fighting Krauts?" He challenged me in a brash tone, his voice as now sounded like he was getting peeved and hotheaded for me. It was my turn to be hotheaded with him as I whirled around and go close to his face.

"No, I'm peeved because you're making yourself look like a racist idiot in our Company." I hissed back at him, giving him my stare of pure disappointment. I didn't want him to make a fool of himself, and not to have his stubborn nature get the best of him in front of the men. He was needing to be a good soldier, not a soldier with a bad nature to him.

"You know, I don't need you to be hounding down my back with every single thing that I do in this war, okay?" He warned me, having me shifted my stance with him and see that I was pushing it a bit too far when it came to being his sister compared to being a fellow soldier. He was now hating that fact that I was scolding him, making even in front of some of the Easy Company member, almost like a mother would scold a child. Joe always hated that, how I was trying to look out for him and his thought that he could do it on his own.

"Okay fine. Do whatever you want and get your own self in trouble with your big mouth. The next time you get your ass handed to you from using a slang term that clearly is offensive, don't come crying to me," I replied in a shrug of my own shoulders, since I had enough for him, "But don't get all sore and shit when someone else decides to throw out a Jewish slang against you." He was glaring me now with such intensity that I just walked away from him. I had no need of his injustice for other people and the way he spoke about him, not right now since I was trying to get my own head straight. I didn't want to fight with my twin, but then again I didn't want to deal with him and his ignorance towards people that he had no real connection with. This time I walked away, no longer wanting to look at him for the rest of the day.

Joe has been and will always be, a pain in my ass.

* * *

><p>"Hey Luz, how far are we going?" Perconte asked from the other side of Luz as I was on his left side, walking with the rest of the men over the open field to the next place that we were needing to go. After my small spat with Joe, I steered clear from him, though I could tell he was trying to get back on my good graces. I mostly stayed with Luz and Perconte, thinking that some time away from my brother would do me some good. We were all walking together again and most of us were already tired from the previous fight we had with the Germans. As we walked, I would look over at Roe every once in awhile, seeing him just walk himself with his own thoughts. A part of me wanted to go over there and talk to him, but the other part of me was staying there with my own men and walking together in a slow pace.<p>

"Oh, Jesus Christ, Frank. I don't know. Until they tell us to stop." Luz replied back sarcastically, having me see him grin at Frank and I grinned next to him.

"High ground. There's high ground up ahead." Hobbler said in a calm tone compared to Perconte, pointing to the area ahead with his finger.

"Okay, genius. Answer me this then: why is Easy Company, the only company who's either at the front of an advance, or like now, exposed at the far edge of the line?" Perconte questioned him some more with an edginess to his tone. I looked over at Hobbler too for this question, since Hobbler himself looked more content on what we are doing and the rest of us were looking agitated.

"To keep you on your toes." Hobbler replied like it was the mere breath from his lips.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that we're in the middle, and we're in the fifth of nine Companies of this regiment. Able through Item. Think of it." Perconte explained some more, having me see him trying and word it out since where we were was not the best place for us. It seemed odd for me to think about as well, but I could tell the rest of us were just walking on by and not even going to voice out what was on our minds.

"See there?" Hobbler asked, pointing once again to the place ahead of us, "You see that—" But he was cut short by gunfire, all of us hitting the floor. I slammed my own body to the ground, hiding behind the tall grass that was covering us and the rest of the men as the firing was coming over us and trying to get to us. It happened all too quickly, one minute we were walking as if it was a stroll for us, and the next minute we are crawling our way up the hill to cover. I crawled on my belly, reminding myself over and over in my brain in how to crawl since we did this plenty of times in training back in America. I kept my head low to the floor, hearing the gunfire high above us and making me want to crawl faster.

"Get into the hedgerow!" Welsh ordered everyone over the gunfire, having me look left and right to see where the others were while we were making our way to the area where it was safe. Luz was still crawling next to me, his radio on his back was sticking out slightly but it was not going to give him away too easily. Once we made it to the hedgerow, Luz and I rolled down into the ditch that was there, covering our heads as the firing went on. Our men were firing back at them as I was hearing all the sounds at once in my brain.

"You okay, Jem?!" Luz screamed at me over the noise and he got his own gun ready. I nodded my head, trying to take out a deep breath as he starting to fire again too. With the dirt flying around me and hitting my face and the sounds of our men screaming out orders back and forth, I just wanted it to be over and done with so I can take a deep breath.

* * *

><p>I could hear the Germans singing something in the distance, a mock kind of song so that they could also get into our heads and keep themselves occupied. It was now late that night with the night dreading over all of us that were now sitting in the ditches that we've been in since that attack that afternoon. By this point, we were all just trying to either stay awake to be sane or just fall asleep and let the night cover us.<p>

I was still in the ditch with Luz, who was tinkering with his radio that was in between his legs. He had his tongue sticking out from his mouth in concentration as I was fiddling with my satchel to get more things arranged. I was trying to get my own mind off personal demons that were threatening to creep up on me. I thought back on my spat with Joe, whom I bet was somewhere nearby with either Webster and Grant. Was he okay? I wasn't able to find him since the attack on us in the field. But I had to I've him far more credit that before.

"Whatcha thinking about, Jem?" Luz asked me in a light tone, having me look over at him and see him move some parts around in his own radio.

"Thinking about my brother how big of an idiot he is." I muttered back to him, shuffling more things around in my area with my bag and hearing some things in the satchel shift in the stillness of the night.

"Well, what else is new with Joe?" Luz asked me in an amused manner, having me grin at him from hearing how he was handling it. Luz was always making things light, though they were so dark and complicated, "What did he do this time?"

"Called the German Krauts." I replied, seeing him pause with his tinkering and looked over at me with worried eyes. He knew from the tone of my voice, seeing the bitterness on my face, that this was not a pleasant subject for me to wrap my head around.

"And from what I'm hearing on your end of our home of a ditch," Luz paused, having me see him trying to find the right wording, "You don't like the term."

"Not personally no." I said in a sigh, seeing that it seemed more silly when I thought about it some more. For me to defend then Germans, that looked more and more like a stupid move than it was thought of in my head. I could look like an idiot now, or even worse, a trader. Maybe that's what Joe was trying to get at with me when we fought: not wanting me to feel more compassion for the enemy. It made me feel even worse, stilling my hands on the satchel and pausing with my running mind.

"Just give him time, Jem," Luz said softly to me, having me finally look back over at him and see a sense of hope on his face, "Your brother sometimes needs space. He's a good kid, he just needs to get his own head straight." I smiled slightly at him, seeing him give me a hearty grin just to liven up the mood again with the both of us. He then tapped his radio, getting up to squat and place it back on his back over his shoulders.

"I don't know about you, but I'm going to go and find Muck and discuss the finer things in life: babes." Luz said in a cocky accent, having me giggle as he got up and over in out ditch, slipping into the darkness and leaving me alone for a moment or two. I had to rethink what I was going through with my brother. Luz reminded me that my brother was good, but he needed to find his own head again. So it wasn't just me, Joe had demons too. I was just glad I had Luz as a friend in times like this.

"Jemima?" I looked up and heard someone above me. Eugene was crouching over the ditch that I was in, having me smile at him and then see him hop down to my level and squatting low. It was good to see him since we had a small little argument ourselves when it came to my safety and my hand.

"What are ya doing here?" I asked him in a soft tone, since If I were to talk louder we would get in trouble from Lipton or even Martin for that matter.

"Came to check up on ya and see how your hand was doing," He explained in a huff, "Besides, I just came from an incident with Talbert and Smith. Apparently Smith was asleep and accidentally stabbed Talbert with his bayonet."

"Is he okay?" I asked him in concern as he moved over int he ditch to sit next to me, his back against the earthly wall and his head hitting the soil softly with a close of his eyes and a breath of relief from his thin lips.

"He's fine. Smith thought Talbert was a German because of what he was wearing, not to mention it's pitch black out here. Your brother helped me out with it. He'll make it." Eugene replied back in an optimistic reply, having me nod my head once and rest my own head against the wall. It was good to hear that my brother was helping Eugene, since they were never really great friends but good to each other as members of the Company.

"How's your hand doing?" Eugene asked me carefully, having me look over at him again and see him watch my hand with his eyes, his head not moving an inch as he was still resting against the wall. It made me think back to when we were fighting earlier that day for the fact that he wanted to help and I wanted to be stubborn. But this time, I had no ounce of stubbornness left me to deal with him and how he wanted to save me. So instead I just showed him my hand carefully, holding it up to the small ounce of light we had in the darkness.

"It's doing okay. I can get by." I explained to him in a soft but vibrant tone as he once again took my hand in both of his, looking at it closely with his eyes and bringing it close so he can see it better. I was not loosing my own sense of reality since my skin was so close to his lips that he could kiss it if he wanted to. I wished he did, God I wished he did. At that moment, I was no longer a soldier. But I was a young woman who was so close to someone whom she fancied, that she wanted nothing more, but to tell him of her feelings and how she felt for him. If only I could.

"It's healing." Eugene stated, having me just smile at the fact that he still cared about my hand and how I was handling myself.

"I know." I replied in a breath, seeing him look over at me. He was still holding my hand, so close to his face but his eyes were on me now as I smiled at him with a soft smile that we would only share with each other every once in awhile. After a moment of just looking at each other, Eugene slowly lower my hand down from being close to his face, and he then blinked a few times, as if trying to refresh his own eyes that looked warm in the darkness of the night.

"I couldn't sit in the ditch with Guarnene any longer, I hated listening to his bitchin'." Eugene said in a gruff as I grinned him, releasing my hand from him and then digging out the book he gave me so long ago. I held it up between us, seeing him watch me and see the book as I pointed to it.

"Want me to read so we can pass the time and not go stir crazy?" I asked him with hope in my eyes. He nodded his head, having me grab the page I marked as where I read last, shifting a bit in my area of the ditch and then clear my throat a bit as I read the new poem that I left off on:

"_My external sensations are no less private to myself than are my thoughts or my feelings. In either case my experience falls within my own circle, a circle closed on the outside; and, with all its elements alike, every sphere is opaque to the others which surround it. . . . In brief, regarded as an existence which appears in a soul, the whole world for each is peculiar and private to that soul."_

I read on into the night, hearing only my voice and the night air coming through and over us softly like a blanket or a small ounce of a wave. It wasn't until I was reading another poem when I realized that Eugene had fallen asleep, with his head on my shoulder. It was the reverse of when we were on the train to New York, about to go on the ship to war. This time, it was my shoulder that was occupied by someone else who sought me as a comfort. I paused in my reading to look over at Eugene, hearing his deep breathing and how he wrapped his own arms around his middle to somehow keep him warm. He looked so content on where he was, and it made me smile from seeing him press against me. But I read on with my book, even making it a whisper so only the both of us can hear as the night went on. It was a sense of familiarity again.

Familiarity with Eugene.


	14. Chapter 14

"Private Liegbott?" I was once again hunched over in my medical journal that Spina wanted me to write in to keep tabs on all the injured in the war. I was sitting on top of one of the abandoned tractors from the small country town we were at before we were going to be sent back to England. After we saved ourselves from the hedgerow incident, we were ordered to head back to England in order to get our bearings together. It was nice to be able to have a breather when it came to the war since some of us were shaken up from the attack on Carentan. I knew I needed a break, since almost every day I would get a minor seizure in the hand or in the leg because of the constant stress or countless nights of no sleeping. I missed being able to sleep, but there was always someone who needed stitching or someone who needed binding.

Looking up from my journal, I saw that it was Nixon, Lipton, and Winters coming in my direction, along with a fourth who was named Spiers. I never talked to him, not directly really. He was more of a local legend amongst us in Easy, an officer from Dog Company who was there at the very first battle in the field right after we jumped from the planes. He was striking, how he walked and talked, he looked fierce and like a killer. Something about him both scared me and fascinated me beyond words.

I hopped up from the spot on the tractor, landing on my feet and saluting them as they saluted me back. I could feel the bags under my eyes stinging against my skin and how my hair was swaying in the autumn wind that was in the sky. Even my own hair was frail and battered from being under a helmet for far too long, and it was growing longer to the point of reaching my mid back. I needed a cut bad, wanting to at least take care of myself at one point. My hand was still healing, wrapping in a bandage and looking more clean than it did before.

"Sir." I said to Winters, seeing him stand in front of me as I carefully placed my journal in my satchel that was still on my hip.

"Liebgott, I was told what happened in Carentan, what you did." Winters explained me, having me feel a bit uneasy with the subject matter. I eyed him carefully, clutching my shoulder strap again and wondering what he meant.

"Carentan, sir?" I asked him carefully.

"What you did in the battle." He explained some more, having me hear that there was no sense of anger or authoritative judgment in his tone of voice when he spoke to me. It was mostly a kind tone that he had, which he always had with us under his care. I had to think back to what I was doing in the battle, if I made the wrong choice or did a procedure wrong.

"You saved lives out there." Nixon added, having me somehow more confused as to what they were talking about since seeing the three of them in front of me left more like a sentence of punishment. He was telling me that I saved lives? I tried to think of who, since the only ones that were coming to mind where the ones that were crying out for help. I was too preoccupied with my mind playing tricks on how I was being congratulated for something that was supposed to be seconds nature at this point.

"I did, Sir?" I asked, having it sound so innocent and dumb coming from my own mouth.

"That you did, Jem," Winters said in a sincere smile, "Sisk told me how you saved him from a collapsed rooftop." I thought back to that memory, giving me a split moment to decide whether or not have us stay alive or be crushed under the rooftop and the fireplace bricks. It literally took seconds for me to roll us away from what could of ben our deaths.

"It was also reported from both Malarky and Guarnene that you also helped in the assistance of several of my men from D Company from an assault." Spiers finally spoke up, having me hear his voice for the first time and have another memory flood my brain. The memory was of me, with my bloodied hand that had a pathetic excuse of a bandage on it, point out the Germans who were about to kill the men who didn't see them. That too was only a mere second of thinking of what I needed to do in order to save those around me. For me, it was merely nothing, to find the chance to save others who too had the right to live.

"Thank you, sir." I replied, not thinking of anything else to say to them. I wanted to retaliate, say it was nothing and have no one else look at me differently like they were doing now. But my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth and my feet were planted on the floor like glue. My own tone was a bit hesitant, thinking that this was a joke.

"Because of your actions and the lives you have saved, you are going to be promoted to Sergeant." I was floored from this news that Winters gave me, my stance was rigid and my eyes were a bit wider than they were before. Why did they want to promote me? For something, they thought was heroic and something I thought was so simple and daily for me to do. I never thought I would get some kind of promotion in the war, mostly because I was a female and the first female to be a combat medic in the army's history. This seemed too good to be true, almost like a joke.

"Sergeant, sir?" I asked in a bit of a surprised tone, blinking a few times to make sure my own head was straight from hearing the news.

"Yes, Sergeant." Winters replied, using my new title on me and having me shift again in front of me, this time, uncomfortably. Nixon just smiled, and Spiers kept his stern look on his face though his eyes were looking right at me and made me feel so small and so useless.

"May I speak freely sir?" I asked him cautiously, having me see him now look at me with hesitance.

"You may." He replied, having me take in a shaky breath to collect my own thoughts before I would tell him what was on my mind and how this was too much for me.

"With all do respect, sir, I don't feel like I deserve this promotion. I only did what any soldier would do for his fellow Company member," I explained to him carefully, not wanting to sound foolish or ungrateful.

"That's not what the other's told us when they came to us," Nixon replied back to me with optimism in his own tone, not to mention the smirk that was there, "Both Malarky and Sisk were beyond grateful for what you did to help them and they recommended you for the promotion." Malarky and Sisk wanted me to get the promotion? Did they want me to succeed? I was a lost for words, having me wish that I would find the two of them and give them big hugs, that or slug them in the face.

"Jem, you deserve this promotion," Winters stated in his calm tone, his blue eyes never leaving my own since he could sense that I was hesitant to take this new title, "What you did that day for those 8 men was for the good of this Company. You spared us having to write to mothers in the fears that their sons would be dead, you have earned this." I smiled at him, finally smiling from what seemed like forever since they came up to me that late morning. There was no point of me needing to tiptoe around the fact that he wanted to recognize me for my actions, though I saw them merely as small tasks in a big picture.

"Thank you, sir." I thanked him properly then. He smiled widely at me, Nixon still smirking and Spiers even having his own eyes warmer than they are before.

"With this promotion, I will be having you get in more contact with the local hospitals and other Companies with their medics." Winters explained some more, having me nod my head with the new assignments given to me, "You'll also be helping with any new recruits for Combat Medic training because of your background in nursing."

"Yes, sir." I ordered back, seeing him nod his head once and I do the same. I had to learn how to let go, to be in fact fine with the fact things were meant to be out of control. If I had it my way, I wouldn't of taken this promotion at all since it made me more in the limelight than I liked, but I decided to just free myself from being tied down to anything.

Sergeant Liebgott: it had some kind of ring to it.

* * *

><p><strong>September 13th, 1944<strong>

**Albourne, England**

"Hey, Jem!" I looked over from my own spot at the bar, talking to Spina and the both of us swapping stories about our drop-ins and what we did so far as Combat Medics. It was nice to talk to him again, and since we came over from the drop and having the one battle at the open field near the farm, I was kind of dreading what was going to come. So it was good we had a night off in England, going to a local bar and talking with each other.

I was called over by Luz, whom had a big grin on his face from his own uniform on and he was talking to Buck and Toye, along Johnny, Bull and Guarnene and all of them had drinks in hand and were about toe tart a game at the dart area.

"You wanna play, Jem?" He asked me aloud in wonder, pointing to the dart with a pointer finger, though the rest of his fingers were wrapped around his beer glass. I was about to answer when I spotted someone sitting at one of the tables in the bar without his jacket on, it was Webster. He looked rather content, but not talking to anyone else in the room. So I decided to go over to him, since we hardly talked at all since we met back at Camp Toccoa.

"No thanks, Luz. You guys already look plastered enough for me to play with you." I commented back, seeing him wink at me and then talk to the guys again. I looked back over at Spina, who shook his own head with a grin.

"I'm gonna talk to Web." I informed him.

"Go ahead, I'm checking up on Doc since he wanted to have his alone time. That kid needs a beer anyways." Spina explained, having me nod in agreement. Since Eugene and I met up in the city before coming back to England, he looked already spun up too tight and ready to burst open from anxiety and uneasiness.

"Tell Eugene I'll be out in a second, will ya?" I said to him as I moved my hair from my eyes. Spina nodded his head as I walked through the sitting and standing soldiers to get to Webster. I approached him at his table, seeing him content on where he was and having a solemn look about it. He looked up at me, his shining blue eyes lighter now because of the lights in the room.

"May I join ya?" I asked him, seeing him use his handsome grin at me as he nodded his head.

"Please do. I have something for ya anyways." Webster explained as I sat down across from him. He reached into his bag that was against his leg at the floor, having me get into a comfortable spot at the small table. I watched him with my eyes as he pulled out a book, having me grin at him as he placed it on the table, title facing up, and waiting for me to read it.

"Found this earlier today on patrol. Left out in front of one of the abandoned apartments, so whoever lived there forgot it I guess." Webster explained as I looked at the title.

"_The Great Gatsby._" I read aloud as I then looked up at Webster with a grin. I knew this novel; I read it one or twice when I had free time. But it was nice to have it again in my hands in a time where I knew having a book was more a luxury than a regular thing.

"You read it, I take it?" Webster asked me in curiosity, having me now give him a sarcastic look.

"Of course, not. I never read one of the best American novels of our time." I said to him dryly, having me see him playfully glare at me back as I giggled. I opened the first few pages, seeing how it was already worn from the previous owner or two. I kept my smile on my face as I heard Guarnene behind me, sitting in a chair in a huff. Looking behind me at the scene, he was talking to three new recruits. This could only end badly.

"Hey, fellas. What do you hear? What do ya say?" He asked the three new faces I focused back on Webster who was still sitting in peace.

"You a fan of Fitzgerald?" I asked Webster in curiosity, waving the book in front of him like I was teasing him.

"Sure I am, we read that thing backwards and forwards back in class," Webster explained cooly, leaning back in his chair, "It's no _Odyssey _by Homer, but it's a good read none the less."

"Oh, don't try to be all superior with me and your knowledge of Homer." I warned him with a raised eyebrow, though he chuckled from my antic with him.

"Oh, this is coming from the newly promoted Combat Medic, or should I say Sergeant?" He asked me cooly. I was still trying to get used to the fact that I was now a Sergeant in the Company of men. I didn't think they would all accept that fact that a female was now higher up than some of them.

"I still don't like it." I grumbled.

"Why not? You deserved it, Jem." Webster reassured me as I could hear more and more of the conversation behind me going, the snakiness in Guarnene's tone and how he was talking to the boys made me worried about them.

"All of the sudden, Heffron stopes dead in his tracks. Bing and a bang and a boom, everybody's banging into each other and everything. Heffron's just starring up at the nose of the plane because on it, is painted this beautiful pin-up." I groaned from hearing the story from his lips, eyeing Webster with worried eyes and he was mocking a gag from his mouth. I smirked, loving the innocence that he and was not sad to show it around me.

"You know the—Web, what do you call them letters that the broads send?" Guarnene asked over his shoulder, looking a Webster and then at me.

"Dear John Letter." Webster answered him, then seeing Guarnene point over to me.

"This lady here, she's the newly appointed Sergeant Liebgott. Hell of a Combat Medic, saved at least 8 of us over in Carentan with her quick toes and wit. Plus, she makes the Company look damn sexy." Guarnene explained, having me roll my eyes and look at the back of his head as he was explaining my story to the three new faces.

"You sayin' nice things about me, Gonorrhea?" I asked him in a low tone, seeing him just glare back at me and wave me off.

"Did I mention you're just as snarky as your brother. Be thankful that you're pretty." Guarnene commented, having me flip him off and hear Webster chuckle from my antic as I looked back at Webster again.

"Do tell me how is it that you and Joe are related again? I can never tell." Webster joked with me, having me not want to hear another joke about the relationship between my brother and I. I was still sore him about the Kraut slang term he would use, and if I knew my brother well enough, he wouldn't give in. Not easily.

"I'm gonna get some air outside." I said in a gruff, getting up from the chair and snagging the book from the table with my healing hand to hold. Webster said bye to me as I weaved in and out from the bar, which was still filled with laughter and some chats here and there from the men. It seemed too congested to me as I finally got outside of the bar, breathing in the cool air and feeling it in my hair.

The bar was this small area of town, apartment were nestled on both sides and the countryside was right in front of me. I always liked the charm of this town in England, having me think of those stories of the winter towns with the snow scattered around it. The cobbled street, the lanterns lit outside on the sidewalk and how the window shingles were decorated so. It was such a contrast to San Francisco, the cramped tall buildings and the busy streets. This was quiet, and home was chaotic. Oh God, I missed him. It made me grimace for a moment thinking about my big house of a home and all my siblings there, my parents, and just the mere feeling of home surrounding me.

Something shifted to my left, having me look over and down to see Eugene sitting on the curve in front of the bar, his own face showing that he was thinking to himself intently. We haven't been able to speak to each other since we read together in the hedgerow that protected us from Germans.

"Hello, Eugene." I said in a light manner, seeing him look over and up at me. Something was off in his face, I could see it. Whatever he was thinking about was haunting him, like a ghost or a spirit, and was not leaving him be.

"Hey Jemima." He replied in his low accent. I walked over, my boots hitting the cobblestone street as I stood next to him. He was breathing in a cigarette, having it draw it slowly from his thin lips and his sitting stance was a bit stiff for my liking.

"You okay?" I asked him in a soft tone, thinking that if I spoke loudly I would spook him.

"Yeah, I'm good," he replied in his exhale of a breath, the smoke floating to the sky, "Not in the drinkin' mood."

"You never are." I commented in a joking manner, seeing him look up at me then with a quizzed look.

"You make it sound like a bad thing." He stated, having me grin and shake my head as I plopped down next to him.

"It's not, not to me." I reassured him, seeing him finally smile for once since I saw him out here. He took another drag, the cigarette looked perfect between his lips as he breathed it in like it was nothing. I hardly saw him smoke, so something must be off with him.

"What's on your mind?" I asked him casually as he exhaled the smoke through his nose.

"Got a letter from home today," Eugene stated, having me nod my head and look out at the countryside in front of us, "It's making me miss home a bit."

"Who wrote to you?" I questioned.

"My mother. She always writes to me, worryin' over means all. Apparently there's a bit of financial trouble back at home," I looked over at him now as he was explaining it to me, "My dad got injured at work and now he's stuck at home. So now they can't get money anymore, at least not right now. She's kind of pressurin' me to send her any money that I could find."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I said to him, seeing him sigh next to me and have me see the knitted trouble behind his eyes and now his eyebrows pressed together.

"It's just hard, not being there to help out." He confessed, taking another drag as I thought back to my own memories of my parents. My father, the barber who brought in only so much to get us by with food in our stomachs and clothes on our backs. It was hard sometimes, but then again it wasn't so bad. I had a huge family that pulled everything together, who knew what Eugene's family life was like. As I as thinking this, I traced the bandage on my hand with my fingers, feeling the cotton on my skin and how my skin was slowly getting better from the wound.

"I miss home," Eugene said aloud in a lighter tone, having me say nothing but smile as he went on with his own rant, "They would be having festival by now in my town, getting ready for the winter. My mother would make the best crabfish and boilers on colder nights, and sometimes we would have our neighbors come over and play us music."

"What kind of music?" I asked him, shoving him gently with my shoulder to get him to talk.

"Zydeco. You would like it, Jemima. It's kind of like you." He stated, having me look at him in confusion. I was never compared to a genre of music before, not even to a freaking flower before. It was so sad on my part.

"How so?" I asked him in wonder as he grinned at me, the cheeky grin that was so rare from him.

"It's upbeat, has it's own rhythm, and it's not like anything else I've experienced." Eugene explained with a shrug of his shoulders, as if it was nothing that he said that was out of his work itself. But he was basically describing me in his own way: upbeat, going to my own rhythm and I not he's ever experienced. For some reason it affected me, deeply and affectionally. Although I was still trying to figure out my feelings and if they were worth it since I had a new title, I was still confused to how Eugene felt about it. When it came to love, I was so blind.

Was I blind to this?

* * *

><p>I walked along the line of men that were getting things ready for the next jump that we were going to go to next: Holland. I had my helmet on again, my bandana covering my hair and my jumping gear on and ready for work. The sun was high over us, though it was still cool in the day as I tapped my fingers over and over against my jacket and satchel. Bull was working with the recruited members that were under his command as I was walking over to the waiting area where we were going to get the supplies for the medicine. Spina and Eugene were already there, waiting as I approached them.<p>

"Howdy, Spina, Eugene." I said to the both of them.

"Sergent Jem," Spina said to me in his friendly tone, having me shake off the notion of tell him to stop calling me that title. I hated it at this point, but I had to get used to it as he looked over at me, "You feelin' good about jumping into Holland?" He asked me in a causal manner.

"I don't mind jumpin', let's hope we can get this over with and be done by Christmas." I replied back, seeing him nod his head in agreement.

"Ah, Christmas. It'll be good to be home again for that," Spina commented aloud, a small smile on his face, "Well, that and being able to sleep in my own bed, not in a shit piece that's called hay."

"You and me both, Spina," I agreed, "Although It would be nice to experience some kind of snow while we're out here."

"You're shitting me." Spina said to me in a gruff and questioning look in his eyes.

"I'm serious. I've never been in snow before. A girl can dream, can't she?" I asked him in an amused manner. Before he could even answer, we saw the supply truck coming our way with the crates that had the red crosses on the wood. But it wasn't the crates that took our breath away, but the person in the front seat and Popeye in the back. We were floored, both pissed and filled with confusion and fear.

Sobel. He was here in England.

"Shit." I muttered in grief as the truck he was in pulled up right in front of us, having the three of us stand near the back and none of us say anything. In fact, all of Easy saw him and they too said nothing. They were floored that our previous Captain was here in front of us. He was nightmare that we wished that we would forget and never see again. Just seeing him in front of me gave me chills up and down my spine as he hopped out of the truck, Popeye right behind him,

"They didn't let me out, I busted out. I didn't wanna get reassigned to some other unit." Popeye explained to Lipton as he greeted him by the truck. I was kind of glad to see Popeye again, but my eyes were on Sobel, my stance was stiff and my skin was chilling from seeing him there, walking over to the back of the truck where the three of us were waiting.

"What's he doing here?" Bull asked Lipton in wonder from a bit away from us.

"Who, Sobel? Well, he's the newly appointed regimental S-4." Lipton joking praised to him.

"Supply Officer?" Bull questioned.

"Yeah, you got it." Lipton answered. Sobel walked to the back as some soldier was unloading the carets in front of us. Spina, Eugene and I did not move, nor did we want to look at him anymore since he was just a and memory for the three of us. But Sobel saw us instantly, his eyes going over the both of us as if we were about to run up Currahee again: with anger and intensity.

"Private Spina, Roe, Liebgott." He said to the three of us, already trying to get under our skins. But I beat him to the punch as he was about to open his mouth.

"Sergeant Liebgott." I corrected, my voice was bold and true as he then looked at me with confusion now. Even Eugene and Spina looked at me now with concern, since they were watching me dig my own grave now with Sobel. He was speechless, and I wanted him to be as I glared back at him. He tried to break me so many times during training, and now he was looking at me in a whole new light with the title of Sergeant on my jacket with my bar. I wanted him to see that without him I was fine, that I was no weakling nor was I going to be. He then looked away from me, moving to the second truck that followed him, though my eyes followed him too and my glare never my face as he was now away from me.

"Christ, Jem. You're always asking for trouble, aren't ya?" Spina said to me as he then moved over to the crate to get his supplies. But I was too occupied with looking at Sobel, who was now talking to Malarky with his own sting of hate in his eyes and stance. I wanted to go over there and tell Malarky to get away from him, but I couldn't move. Eugene grabbed my jacket sleeve, tugging me softly.

"Come on, Jemima." He urged me gently, having me finally look away from the man and back to Eugene. He gave me one reassuring smile and nod, and we both went back to work. I was not going to let my hate to Sobel ruin my job or at least make it worse. He no longer affected me, not like he used to.

* * *

><p><strong>Eindhoven, Holland<strong>

We walked through the streets of what looked like a festival, being surrounded by Dutch citizens whom were singing and cheering of us with their flags waving in the sun as we tried to get through the town in one piece. We were told to keep moving, but we were all being occupied with the locals and how they were loving on us with hugs and kisses. Some of the men loved it, kissing back and smiling at the cheers and gestures. But others, liked Cobb and Peacock, were annoyed since they were mostly occupied with the task at hand.

I was just in another realm at that point with my brain, seeing all of the flag colors around me like a explosion of vision and hearing the chanting and singing of the people there like I was at another festival in San Francisco. For some reason, I smiled throughout the whole thing, since it made me see the war in a new light. These people saw us as saviors, kissing us on the cheeks and hugging us like we saved them from something far beyond their imagination. Did we save them? Did they even know? I just weaved my way in and out of the area as I was being kissed by men on the cheeks and lips. It was so awkward for me, almost having me push some men off when they were trying to kiss me with a hint of force because of a celebration.

I felt someone take my hand in theirs, having me look down to see who took my hand. It was Eugene, and he was trying to make his way through the crowd with me and not get lost. But the way he held my hand was like how any girls would want their hand held: with affection. Our fingers laced, having me see him wear a smile on his face as I smiled back at me. For some reason, confetti and flowers were falling from the windows above the apartments and houses, and some of them fell in my hair since my helmet was off. I didn't care at all, since I was sharing this moment with Eugene and he wasn't pulling away. But then I realized.

What was I doing?

I was flirting with him, well in my mind I was. If the others knew, if Winters and Lipton and even Sink knew what I was doing, I could get myself and Eugene in trouble. That was the last thing I wanted to do, yet what I was feeling within my heart and chest was telling me that this was right: this was natural. Me holding his hand and being this close to him was both scary and yet exhilarating at the same time. But I and to get my priorities straight, since I had a promotion and I had new responsibilities to uphold. I did not want to be seen as someone who was pining over a boy, that was not me. There was nothing more humiliating and sad than to be labeled as a girl who was so enraptured with love that she was going to get in trouble. This is now what I wanted to do while I was here in the war. I needed to stay away from him, in order to save my own heart from breaking.

And to save him from knowing about me, all of me.

If he knew about my Epilepsy, then he would judge me. Would he? I didn't think he would, but the thought was still there and the fear was crawling under my skin. I hated the thought, being seen differently by him and not longer having the lingering eyes he would give me when he thought I wasn't looking. I was too proud and too much filled with fear to let him into my own heart and my own disability. He couldn't know, I wouldn't let it.

He would reject me.

* * *

><p>I squatted down with the rest of the men, waiting for some kind of signal to go into the Operation Market Garden in Holland, and we were waiting for the enemy to make the first move. All of us were against a incline of a ditch, near our tanks and seeing one of the lieutenants go out into the open road to see what was there. Bull was in the front with Johnny, his recruitments behind him as I was near Eugene towards the back of the area. It was going to be like Carentan all over again, waiting for someone to get hurt or at least get help. I still hated waiting, but I had to do it with Eugene. He was still calm and collective next to me, the both of us squatting next to the tank as Bull called out to the lieutenant. He whirled around, then getting shot and falling to the floor. We all panicked.<p>

This went south fast.

"Get to the ditch, now!" Someone called out, all of us hiding within the earth as we were now under fire. Bull ran out to the wounded solider, who was bleeding out from the neck and was gasping for air.

"Medic up front! Medic up front!" He screamed. I was about to go out when Eugene beat me to it, running out within moments and I waited for him to come back with the soldier. The gunfire was still going on around them as he was now alone with the soldier next to him, already about to be dead from the blood lost. But it was when Eugene reached him that made my heart sink.

Eugene was shot in the leg.

He screamed out, falling to the floor and grabbing his leg in pain, his scream. I panicked, having my heart be crushed within seconds as I saw him bleeding from his leg on the dirt floor. My mind was no long sane as I bolted out to get him. He had to be safe, he had to be away from harm in my mind. There was no care that I could be shot too, no. I had to get Eugene.

"EUGENE!" I screamed, running to him and hearing the others cry out to me to stop and stay undercover. Not me, not when Eugene was hurt in the wide open. As soon as I reached him, I grabbed his shoulder straps as some of the soldiers were trying to defend us with gunfire against the Germans. This looked suicidal, but I would be damned if I was going to see Eugene to this.

"Jemima, what are you doing?!" Eugene asked in a grunted yell as I was dragging him back to the safe area with the tanks that were now about to roll out. He wasn't too heavy himself, but it was the amount of jacket and pockets on his uniform that made it a struggle. We did this in training too, but this was a real body, not a dummy.

"I'm saving your life!" I yelled back at him, sensing an argument was about to come over us.

"What about that soldier?!" He asked me in a bitter tone and then grunting in pain as his leg was shifting and more blood was coming out.

"He's already dead, Eugene. Now shut up and let me help you!" I ordered him, hearing him lash out in pain as I got him close enough to Muck, "Help me get him to the medical area, Muck."

"You got it, Jem!" Muck replied quickly, getting his gun out of the way as he hoisted Eugene up and had his one leg dangle as the other was trying to work. Muck had one arm under his shoulder and me with the other, Eugene squinting in agony and his face was contorted with the wound in his leg. Sure it was an idiot thing for me to do, to literally run out by myself to drag out a wounded soldier while we were under fire. But my mind wasn't on the fact that I might get hurt:

My mind was on Eugene and how he needed help.

* * *

><p>Eugene was sprawled out on the table that we got him on in the medical area, his leg was in front of me as I was about to get the bullet out of him. He was being held down by Muck by his shoulders and his other leg was held down by Shifty Powers as I looked at the crimson wound that was there in front of me. I was afraid that I would make a wrong move and cause him more pain, but the bullet had to come out somehow.<p>

Looking at Eugene one more time, he was staring at me with the pain in his face and how he hated this. He knew I had to do it, and with a intake of breath through his teeth, he nodded his head. I swallowed my pride and my sense of fear of hurting him, going into nursing mode and grabbing the utensil that I would have to side on him. Muck, looking rather sick of the situation, grabbed his shoulders tight and Shifty his leg as I dug it into his skin. Eugene gasped out in pain, not wanting to scream but moan enough to make me cringe I dug my way into his wound on his pale leg. If this wasn't awkward enough, me clutching his thigh to stop the bleeding and seeing him thrash on the table from the agony I was involuntarily giving him. It was about to since his blood was spilling onto his pale thigh and my fingers. I dug some more, hearing him curse in both English and French as I then got the bullet out after a solid 30 seconds of work. He sighed in pain, tears in his eyes as I threw the bullet on the floor, far away from him. I instantly started to wrap his leg, hearing him breathe in and out in shallow breaths.

"You're good, Doc. Jem took care of ya, okay?" Much cooed him as best as he could, then looking up at me and seeing my own state. As I was cleaning and wrapping his wound, my hands were shaking from the seizure that snuck up on me and my nose bleed slightly. But it was the sight of me, crying in front of Eugene as I was getting his leg better that made it worse. Why I was crying over this? I just saved his life and his leg, yet I was crying. Maybe it was the fact that I cared too much for him, or that just hearing him crying and screaming underneath me made me want to scream and cry too. This was a bigger example that I had to get him out of my heart for good, since he had such an effect on me that it was also like a disease.

"Jem?" Muck called out to me in concern, having me look at him. My nose was bleeding, my eyes were filled with tears that were now touching my cheeks and Eugene's pants, and my hands weren't ceasing the shakes. I took out one shaky breath as I then saw Shifty look at me too with worry. They both saw me bleed, but it was Eugene who looked at now with pure concern and fear in his eyes. That was enough for me to sigh and place the utensil on the table next to his leg, shift and move out of the room. I needed to breathe, I needed to set back to reality that this was not right what I was doing to both myself and him. As the blood poured from my nose and my neck twitch again, I closed my eyes in defeat.

I couldn't handle it anymore.


	15. Chapter 15

"MEDIC!" I ran towards the sound of someone calling out for help, being the only Combat Medic that was available for help since Eugene was forced to sit out with his wounded leg. I bolted as fast as I could, not even wanting to look at both Muck and Shifty since they saw me having a seizure in front of them after fixing Eugene's leg. He even saw it with his own eyes too, the blood on my nose and how my neck twitched. All of the stress, the panic in my heart and chest from seeing Eugene hit the floor from being shot, and the running emotions I had for him was all coming to a head with me having another failed seizure. I had no idea when these feelings were going to end, but right now I was running back to the ditched area when I saw a couple of people ducking behind the line of fire.

I ran faster, seeing some blood on someone's foot as they were all surrounding him. He was sprawled out on the floor, head against the grass and his hands were shaking with the gained blood. Lynn "Buck" Compton, the one 2nd Lieutenant that I never really got to know was now hurt, lying on his back from what I saw. I sprinted over, landing on my knees and hearing more gunfire over our heads as I was with Malarky and Guarnene was a bit farther away from us, still shooting though I felt this battle was more of a failure than a victory. I could even feel some of the bullets getting a bit too close for my liking.

"Heya, Buck. Let me look at you." I said to him over the gunshots and the soldiers running around us. I looked up briefly over the grass, noticing that we were running away from the gunfire now. Was it a retreat? Were we losing that bad? From the looks of it, we were not doing so good and this was a last minute effort to save us all from being murdered. I looked back at Buck, seeing him sprawled out with his head awkwardly against the hill of the ditch and his bright blue eyes were wide from the shock that he was just shot. I looked at his backside, seeing nothing that would be considered a wound. It was when I looked down, seeing the stained blood on his butt cheeks.

"It's a clean wound, Buck. Went right through from left to right," I explained to him calmly as I pulled out the bandage from my satchel, "Butt cheek to cheek."

"Malarky, you need to get her out of here." Buck wanted Malarky in a shaky tone as I was dressing his wound, having me look at him in confusion as Malarky looked at him in the same matter.

"What?!" He asked over the gunfire in the air, not understanding what is going on.

"Just go, and leave me here for the Germans." Buck explained roughly having me shake my head as I finished off my dressing on his ass.

"What? Are you nuts?" Malarky asked in a disbelief.

"We're not leaving you, Buck. We'll carry you." I said to him in reassurance and in a shot since the gunfire was getting closer and closer to us. He looked at me in disbelief.

"You kidding me? I weigh more than the both of you guys combined." He protested, having me sigh and look at Malarky for some kind of help. He thought to himself for a moment, and then an idea struck him from what I could gather from his face.

"Come on!" He said in urgency, moving away from us as I was staying next to Buck, not wanting to leave him as another round of gunfire was getting close to the both of us. Without thinking, knowing that were was some kind of mere chance that Buck was going to be shot again and this time it would be fatal, I covered my body over his and waited for the bullet around us to stop. I covered my helmet with my arm and the other was covering Buck as much as I could, hearing him grunt as well as I was since bullets were so close to hitting us.

"Stay still, Jem!" Buck warned me since I was shaking from the bullets almost hitting us and the adrenaline that was pouring through my blood and making me blink in a rapid pace. I had to breathe in and out slowly since Buck was right. If I was going to be shaking left and right, then I would, in fact, get hurt and shot from being a bigger target. Once the round of fire as over, I rolled off of Buck and I saw him loo at me with a big set of eyes.

"Thanks." He said in a huff.

"You got it." I replied in a croak as I saw Malarky and Guarnene came over with what looked like a broken door behind him. They placed them on the floor, both Buck and I looking at them in confusion.

"Help us get him on here, Jem." Guarnene said to me in a huff, grabbing Buck by the jacket straps and having me join him. Malarky grabbed Buck as well, the three of us getting him on the door frame and then we grabbed the front of the wood, starting to pull him out of the ditch and onto the dirt road. Now, I knew I had some strength behind my muscles and in my body, but then again Buck was as big as a freaking body builder. I had to use most of my muscles if not all of them with Malarky and Guarnene using their own weight as well. We were getting him out of there, slowly but surely since Buck was practically on his chest against the wooden door grasping the top with one hand and trying to breathe in and out with his nose and mouth.

"Hey, come give us a hand!" Guarnene said to one of the replacements, Garcia, who ran over and grabbed another piece of the wood and have me release it. They could take him from there, and I felt a wave of relief of not needing to carry a grown man on my back anymore. I stood out on the road now, looking back at the battle in front of me at the town to see where the rest of the men were. I hoped that they are okay, but then I got shot in the head by a bullet and I slammed to the floor within a second.

I felt the bullet ricochet off my helmet, which hit my head so hard that I knew it felt a bruise, if not bled out from the metal of the helmet piercing my skin. My own head hit the dirt hard, my body falling to the floor like a rag doll and my own body was shaking from the impact of the bullet hitting the helmet. I was thanking God that I was not dead and that I wore my helmet at that moment.

"Jemmie!" I heard someone cry at me, having me still stare at the sky above me and see a hawk fly over me. My breath was shallow as I was trying to remind myself that I was alive, and that I was breathing in and out. Someone was running up to me, skidding to a halt as I the could feel the moisture against my skin on my forehead, trickling down to my face and onto the dirt floor. The person looked over me, gun in hand and his shadow was over me. I knew that shadow, I grew up chasing that shadow.

Joe.

"Jemmie, you're okay Jemmie. Look at me, you're okay now." He said over and over in a rushed tone, kneeling down next to me and placing his hands on my face and neck, thinking that I was dead. I breathed in deeply, coughing in the process as he was looking concerned. He thought I was dead since I was not moving or not saying a word. I felt him wrap an arm around underneath me and pull me up to sitting, having me squint in pain from my head and the blood was going down my neck to my jacket.

"You alright?" He asked me in a worried tone, having me finally look over at him. His eyes were wide, his face was laced with the fear that I was gone and dead. I nodded my head, no longer hating him or not wanting to talk to him anymore since our fight about the German slang. He was there with me, clearly not thinking about the fight either as he hoisted me up from the ground carefully. We almost lost each other, nothing else mattered.

"Come on, Jemmie. They want us to leave. I got you, come on I got ya." He said to me in a cooler tone, though the gunfire was coming over us again. He grabbed my arm, turning me and we both broke into a run again to the trucks that were being filled with soldiers to take us out of there and away from harm. I breathed in and out again, dodging death once again as if it was child's play. One of these days death was going to plague me and take me when I didn't expect it. Joe and I hopped into one of the trucks, rolling away from the battle that we lost and having me feel more blood trickling down from my head and onto my knees as we rolled out. Luz and Webster were across from me as I took off my helmet, having me see them all look at me in horror and shock. Joe looked too, the color on his face was long gone.

"Jesus, Jem." Webster gasped out as I reached up to touch the wound. It was in my hair, close to my forehead and I only felt crimson everywhere. I squinted in pain, the pain shocking me all over my body as I pulled my hand away and saw the red blood there. Joe grabbed my satchel, fishing through it himself and grabbing the gauze to press it against my head. Once again I squinted, not I didn't say a word as I looked over at him with gentler eyes. Joe was watching my head, his hand was not moving from the gauze that was pressed against my wound, his eyes knitted together in concentration and his sitting stance was rigid with concern.

"You're too damn reckless sometimes, you know that?" Joe asked me both lightly and with frustration in his voice. I just stared at him for a solid second or two, really not in the mood to yell at him or have another fight since we already had one in this war.

"Love you too." I joked with him, seeing him finally crack a smile. It felt like we were close again as if the fight never happened. I just sat there in the truck, my head on fire and blood was still coming down little by little and my eyes going back to the battle we just lost. It pained me, thinking that we lost men there and that I was nowhere near them.

* * *

><p>"Hold still, darlin' " Spina urged me as he was working on my head with stitches and getting some bandages on there, having me sit in a huff on the table and crossing my legs underneath me, my hand were folded on my lap and twitching very once in awhile from the pain of the stitches. Joe was sitting next to me, rubbing his own neck as Spina was working hard on my head with a concentration on his face. It was slowly becoming nighttime in the area where we were in, which was hiding out in the country in a abandoned farmhouse and the rest of us close by. Since I ran out on Eugene, I haven't seen him since and I wondered how he was doing with his leg.<p>

"Don't call me darlin' or you'll get a stiff one to the neck." I warned him stiffly, groaning in pain as he got another stitch in my forehead and having me hear Spina chuckle in front of me as I looked dead ahead with my eyes.

"You always this crabby?" He asked me in wonder, hang me glare at him to show with my eyes the true answer.

"Yeah she is," Joe replied in a calm tone, now fiddling with his rifle that wasn't loaded, "When she was 14 and broke her leg from playing baseball, she almost kicked the doctor hard because he called her 'sweetheart'. Our mother was livid."

"Don't start." I said to my brother, hearing both Joe and Spina chuckle from my antic with him. It was nice to hear my brother laugh again as Spina pulled away from me.

"You're set. No more playing hero on my watch, you hear me? You're a Sergeant now, you need to get your mind straight of what you have to do." Spina explained in an authoritative tone, having me shake my head at him.

"Yes, mother." I mocked him, seeing him wave me off.

"Yeah, yeah. Just stop gettin' hurt will ya?" He asked though he packed his satchel up and walked away, leaving Joe and I together alone in the farmhouse with nothing to do but listen to the nightlife of popping guns in the distance and grasshoppers.

"How's your head feeling." He asked me curiously. I winced, trying to get used to the feeling of stitches in my head and how it came my skin feel constrained.

"You remember that one time when you had to get stitches on your arm from getting it sliced open by the wired fence near Pier 39?" I asked him, seeing him nod his head.

"It's like that, but worse." I explained, seeing him grin from how I described it so briefly and with no shame behind it. He walked over then, hopping up on the table next to me and looking at the work on my head with his eyes.

"You think mom would wanna hear about this in the letter I'm writin' her?" Joe asked teasingly, having me give him a sour note and see the grin still on his face.

"I will kill you if you tell mom." I said in my low tone.

"Your secret is safe with me, but hey, tell me what I should write to her." Joe explained as he started to fish out a cigarette pack from his jacket pocket. I thought about ti myself really, on what I should tell our mother and I would try to picture what her face would look like from reading the letter.

"Well let's see, tell her that I almost died three times, was shot in the head but survived because of a pathetic excuse for a helmet, and I told off my old Captain in front of the entire Company practically." I said in a mocking joke as Joe lit his cigarette between his teeth, taking a long drag before looking at me in confusion.

"You told off Sobel? Why did I not know about this?" He asked me, having me roll my eyes at him.

"This was when we weren't talking, remember?" I reminded him, seeing him exhale the smoke through his lips and look down briefly, the pain of our fight was etched on his face and his nodded his head.

"Yeah, I remember. I recall you calling me a racist idiot because I call German Krauts." He reminded me, having me somewhat cringe from what I told him. I knew that it was true, how I felt about the situation of German being called something of a slang term. But it still didn't feel right, Joe and I fighting.

"Sorry for calling you a racist, and an idiot." I apologized in a low tone, seeing him look over at me once again with a bit of pain behind his orbs as he took another drag slowly.

"Sorry for pushing you away like that, sayin' that I didn't need ya," Joe added, having me now look at him and see the hurt on his face when he told me that, "You are my moral compass after all, Jemmie. I just…I was just an idiot about it really."

"You were prideful," I stated, pausing before I went on since it sounded so harsh, "There's nothing wrong with that, you know. It's a matter of how you use it." Joe raised an eyebrow at me from my explanation, as if he was trying to read me.

"You've been talking to Web, haven't ya?" He asked me in an amused ton, having me grin at him before we fell into a comfortable silence again. I liked just sitting there with my brother, soaking in each other like how we used to as children and enjoying our company together.

"So…Doc likes you." Joe stated as if it was actual fact as he took another drag and had it exhale through his teeth. I stared at him again dumbstruck with what he said.

"What makes you say that?" I asked him coyly, trying to play off like it was nothing.

"I see how he looks at ya, it's like the other boys who liked ya when we were teenagers." Joe explained with a roll of his shoulders.

"And how does he look at me?" I asked him, still confused and wondering why he wanted to talk about Eugene and his so-called "affections" for me. Joe stared at me dead on in the face, not moving or showing any kind of weakness there.

"He looks at ya the same way mom and dad do when they think we're not lookin'." Joe explained smoothly, having me think to myself and try to remember times when they would look at each other. I remembered one moment, when we were 10, my father looking at my mother with fond eyes as she was making dinner. There was a spark there in his brown orbs, how he titled his head to the side slightly and how a small mysterious grin was evident on his face.

"You know the look I'm talking about," Joe went on, smoking his cigarette and flicking it on the floor, "Doc does the same thing when you're around him. I can see it from a mile away, and some of the others guys too: he smiles at you like you're something out of a romance movie."

"Doubtful." I stated, trying to steer clear of the conversation I knew was about to happen.

"Yeah, and I know you stare at him too," Joe replied, having me go quiet as now I was brought into the conversation, "You look at him like he's the best thing since sliced bread. Don't deny it, you like the kid."

"I can't like him." I state flatly, hearing nothing from Joe as he shifted next to me on the table.

"What are you talkin' about?" He asked, not following where I was going with this subject.

"You know the rules about nurses and soldiers in the army?" I questioned him, wanting to keep my voice down on the subject at hand, but Joe scoffed at it.

"Oh Christ, Jemmie. It's not like you two are having sex or anything," He stated, having me both blush from the thought and look at him disgust since he brought it up, "Besides, you two aren't doing anything wrong technically."

"Yeah, well, nothing's going to happen anytime soon if I have a say about it." I explained.

"And why's that?" Joe challenged me, having me face him fully and lower the register of my tone with him.

"He doesn't know about my Epilepsy. Hell, no one else in the Company knows expect for you. If he finds out about it…" I trailed off, no longer finding the right strength or words to describe it since it was still killing my heart. If he knew about it, would be reject me and think I was a freak? Like the rest of the boys that met me and tried to get to know me. Joe could see where I was going with this conversation, leaning in and shoving my slightly in the shoulder to get my attention.

"You think he won't like ya?" He asked in a worried tone, having me now look at him and say nothing. That was my ultimate fear: rejection from someone who stole my heart from the moment I laid eyes on them. But before I could answer him, someone bursted through the door of the farmhouse, looking like they were in a huff and not thinking straight. There were two people there actually: Garcia and Webster. Garcia looked worried, and Webster looked flustered. Joe and I looked over at the both of them: Something was haunting them.

"What's going on fellas?" Joe asked, no longer thinking about the subject we were talking about.

"It's Bull, he's MIA." Garcia explained.

Oh shit.

* * *

><p>"Jem? Wake up, Jem! Wakey wakey my dear!" I groaned, rubbing my head and then squinting from touching the stitches that were there. I fell asleep in a pile of hay in the farmhouse a bit after we got the news that Bull was MIA. He never made it back with us from the battle, and no one knew where he was. Some of him men, including Garcia, went on a manhunt to find him with Guarnene to see if he was hiding out somewhere in the countryside. But it was no luck, which made me wonder where he was and it haunting me to my sleep. Bull could take care of himself, we all knew that. But it was a matter if he was going to come back to us, his Company. I wanted to find him myself, the compassionate and mother bear side of me wanted to make sure he was alright. But I had to go to sleep, Spina's orders, in order to feel better with my head.<p>

I got up and stretched from my spot in the hay, feeling my hair sticking to my face and neck along with having some hay in it and I saw Luz walk into the room with a relaxed look on his face.

"Good news: Bull's back." He said in relief, having my eye go wide as I shot up from the hay and then sway a bit from the head rush from the rush and the head pain right after.

"Thank God, where is he?" I asked as I got my bearings together and grabbed my satchel.

"He's in the main farmhouse with his men. Winters told me to get you over there so you can stitch him up, he's got a shoulder blade wound." Luz explained as I threw the strap over my shoulder and then walked over to him.

"What about Spina or Eugene?" I asked him as we both walked out of the room and into the sunlight of the countryside.

"Spina's on call with Nixon in a meeting and Doc's still sleeping. Spina told us he needed more rest because of his leg than you did with your head. What a lazy ass." Luz commented, having me grin as we were walking over to the other farmhouse that Bull was in.

"There is nothing funny about a wound to the leg, Luz." I commented in a casual tone, seeing him now give me a loopy grin.

"Compared to a wound to the head? It's downright hilarious," I shoved him with my hand, hearing him giggle as we walked on, "Although I do have to admit, Buck wins with the shot in the ass. Who knew that a bullet can go through an ass clean and out the other side."

"And I thought he was full of it." I commented back, the both of us grinning.

* * *

><p>"Just keep breathing, Bull." I reminded him as I started the stitching on his shoulder, sitting on the edge of a table and Bull in front of me in a chair, sitting between my legs comfortably and trying not to squirm and I did the first stitch. Johnny Martin was watching with his intense eyes, since he was so close to Bull that he never left his side when Bull returned.<p>

"Please tell me you've done this before." Bull said aloud in his accent that was almost a groan.

"Nope. Never once did I ever have to do a simple stitch on a person before." I said in a sarcastic manner, a grin on my face. Johnny grinned from his own spot, seeing the sarcasm on my face.

"Don't be sassy." Bull warned me, grunting in pain as I did another.

"Don't be a baby." I replied playfully, hearing him chuckle. I went through another stitch when he spoke up again.

"Thanks for doing this, Jem." he thanked me softly as I go another one in and seeing that I had three more to do on his shoulder.

"You're quite welcome, Bull. I'm just glad that the farmer helped you get the metal out, or else you would have lost your arm." I explained as I carefully got on the last stitch and then dabbing the skin around it for the blood to come off.

"You're lucky, Bull." Johnny reminded him in his own tone, having me look up and see how he was looking at is friend, with admiration.

"Lucky as hell I reckon." Bull said in a gruff as he slowly got up from his chair and faced me. I still sat on the table, my hands on the edge as I faced him with a stern look on my face.

"Rest up on the shoulder, let the stitches heal it up and don't do anything too strenuous on that part of the body. Give it a few days and I'll check it." I explained to them thoroughly, seeing him nod his head once as he grabbed his jacket with his better arm

"Yes ma'am." He replied, having me wink at him and see him grin at me as he turned over to Johnny, talking to him a bit as I then heard someone else come into the room. All three of us looked, seeing that it was Eugene hobbling with his leg still in need of healing, but he looked more determined, like he was on a mission of some sort. He saw me, hobbling to me and having me feel like I was frozen in my spot on the table. Eugene shoved the chair out of the way to get even closer to me, his eyes were on my forehead now with fear there.

"What happened?" He asked, having me see that he was dangerously close to me and was now in between my legs with his stance. I was trying to hard no to blush since I was already trying to ignore my feelings towards him and not have my heart be broken by him. But it was harder than I thought since he was standing so close that I could hear him breathe and I felt him carefully take my jaw into his fingers and the other hand lightly touching my stitches. I squinted in pain, trying to wiggle out of his hold though it was so tempting to have him stay there

"It's nothing." I said to him, seeing him look down at me now with the same look of fear there, and a hint of frustration.

"That's not what Spina and Joe told me this morning when I woke up," He explained, having me inwardly curse my co-worker and my twin brother for spilling the beans, "They told me you were shot in the head."

"But my helmet saved my life. It was a ricochet." I explained calmly, seeing him look back at my stitches again, seeing him analyze it with his eyes. I grabbed his hand that was near my forehead, bringing it down to his side as our eyes connected again.

"Trust me, Eugene. This nothing I can't handle," I reassured him smoothly, seeing him pause while he was still watching me as I then pointing to his injured leg.

"You, on the other hand, need to be off your leg until you can properly walk on it. You're going to split open your stitches you know." I reminded him, seeing him wave me off.

"I can handle it myself." He replied, seeing him smirk as he said this. He too wasn't going to let a injury ruin his time in the war, nor was I. No matter how much I wanted to push him away to protect myself, I also walked to pull him close and forget about the rest of the world around us. Eugene just gave me a small smile.

"Just don't be reckless anymore, please?" he asked in a gentle tone. I could see Bull and Johnny looking at the both of us with hints of happiness in their eyes, did they know? They must have, since they were looking at the both of us at that moment and how we were talking to each other in affection for one another. Eugene cared for me, and according to my brother, he liked me as more than a friend. This was dangerous waters for the both of us. and if I was going to survive this, I would have to be more careful with him for now one. Because no matter how hard I was trying to push him away, he was always going to pull himself closer to me.

"You too, Eugene. You too."


	16. Chapter 16

**October 13th, 1944. **

**Shoonderlogt, Holland. **

"You sure you wanna do this?" Joe asked from behind me, having me face the countryside ahead of me with the sun setting over the mountains in the distance. It was now October, the 17th as we were still in Holland and waiting for orders from Colonel Sink and whoever else wanted to take us to a new destination. My own head was healed, the stitches were long gone and now I had a faint scar above my eyebrow on the left side, curved slightly and going into my hair. After I got the stitches from Sink and a good scare from Eugene, I was confined to not going anywhere near battle until I was fully healed and ready to go back into the line of fire. Which meant Winters had me recruit and train new Combat Medics that came in via ship from America to replace the ones we lost.

I was the only Sergeant Combat Medic with our Regiment, and since no one else had enough field work and experience than I did as a nurse, I was one conducting the classes throughout the day and giving them the basics. Eugene and Spina would help whenever they could, though it was draining on my part. I could find myself every night fallen asleep with my book in my hands and my head rolled onto my shoulder, falling asleep to my reading.

Webster found me three more books from random places, and one of them happened to be _Odyssey_ from Homer. He traded it with a British soldier that was with his Company when Webster was on patrol. That book was a bit hard to read and swallow down, but I got used to it and fell in love with it. Eugene and I got into a rhythm of reading to each other the books that I had in order to have each other fall asleep, something that was familiar and safe for us since war was never safe or familiar. Well, it was familiar, but not in the nice way.

After a couple of weeks of me training classes to new recruited Combat Medics, I was getting annoyed with my own hair that it was far too long and damaged enough to get caught in my helmet or anything else that I was close to. I decided that I had enough with my hair, and I needed to get rid of most of it. There were reasons behind it, multiple reasons really. One of them was the maintenance aspect, but the other was my safety. I had no idea what Germans would do to me if I was a female and I was caught by them. So any kind of sign of my gender in the line of battle would be suicidal and deadly for me, something that I had to remind myself over and over. I was too into battle to realize that I could be in serious trouble with the enemy because I was a woman. So I had to hide it, no longer wanting to shove my now frail hair under a helmet and bandana all the time. I had to make it easier for me.

Which lead to me recruiting Joe and sitting in a chair in front of him. He was holding a pair of scissors that he stole from a house that he was patrolling by, snagging it from Perconte when he got the chance. We both know how to cut hair, but not our own. Our father taught us how to cut hair since it was his trade, but I wanted Joe to do it since he would have killed me if I did it on my own without his consent or knowledge.

"Positive." I replied back, my tone was almost breathly as I felt Joe traced my hair with his lanky fingers to find the right length. He sighed, having me see that he was not fully understanding why I was doing this in the first place. He knew I loved my hair, but he also knew that I had a job to do and a life to protect.

"You haven't had your hair cut in years, Jemmie." He reminded me.

"It'll grow back." I replied, still trying to tell myself in my head that what I was doing what for the good of the Company.

"I like your hair though." Joe commented in a lower tone, only for the both of us to hear. I knew he was telling the truth since his was so short and styling to the rest of the boys and mine was nice and long. This was going to be odd for him to see since I never had my hair that short before. I felt him place a hand on my shoulder, having me reach up and take his hand in my own against the shoulder and not look back at him. He squeezed my hand as I nodded my head again.

"Mom's gonna kill me." I murmured, hearing him chuckle above me as he placed his fingers between my locks, getting the section that he was about to snip off ready as I closed my eyes. It's been exactly 7 years since I cut my hair, and not it was all coming downhill because of the fact that I had to live in this war and not give myself away.

Joe took the first cut and I breathed out, like a weight on me was gone.

* * *

><p>Joe and I walked into the larger room of one of the buildings that we took over in the town, most of the men were eating something that we all cooked up and considered it "food". I walked in with my helmet on, though Joe had his own off and once we were in the room, some of the men were looking over at the both of us with confused eyes. I didn't know whether it was the both of us not being there when the food started or if I was still wearing my own helmet when everyone else had theirs off. They knew something was off as Joe and I walked over to the table where some of Easy were. I saw Eugene, Bull, Martin, Perconte, Luz, Sisk, Shifty, Guarnene, Muck, Malarky, and Spina. They were all looking in my direction was they made room for the both of us, though we stayed standing in front of them with Joe holding something behind his back.<p>

"There you two are. We were wonderin' when you were going to show up for grub." Guarnene said in a snort as they all looked at the both of us suspiciously.

"What's with the helmet, Jem? You hidin' something under those curls of yours?" Bull asked in a smirk though Joe and I looked at each other with small smiles on our faces. It looked like we are hiding some kind of joke with them, in which case, we were. Joe pulled out his hand from behind his back, having my hair that he chopped off tied in a string and he placed it on the table in front of me. All of the men were now silent, looking at the long locks of my old hair and seeing that it was a great length. They were all shell shocked, then looking back at me as I smiled at all of them.

"Might as well stick to the style of you lot." I commented, pulling off my helmet from my head to showy new hair. My length was at the jawline now, still wavy but was short enough to be tucked under my helmet and long enough to be behind my ears and pulled away with a hair pain. My bangs were the same length now, a bit short but practically at the same level since it was easy enough to use a pin to push it back. It was different, and Joe did it just right where I can pull it off like a woman or even pass off as a man. I explained to him what I needed, and he followed through.

There was nothing to be heard, no one spoke or moved, I could hear a cow mooing outside in the green field but nothing else since all of their eyes were on me now, wide and confused and shocked. I just smiled, feeling the new hair that I sport sway a bit from the wind that was coming in. I looked at each of them, seeing the pure shock on their face and then my eyes went to Eugene last. He looked floored, almost like he was trying to hard not to look like he was seeing something fantastic in front of him. Was he blushing? Why would he be as I then heard some spoke up from a moment or two of pure silence?

"Goddamn." Luz said in a breathy tone, having me look at him in confusion. The way he said it was like he was seeing something that took his breath away. Was that really aimed at me? Of all people?

"What?" I asked him, clearly not getting what he was saying and how he said it.

"You look….." He trailed off, not finding the right words for the situation. That was a first, even for Luz.

"You look like a boy." Guarnene replied in a snort, having me play my eyes on him now and glare at him.

"And you look like total horse shit, Gonorrhea." I replied back in a snarer to him, seeing the smile leave his face and the others finally laughed aloud. Even Joe was smirking as we both sat down at the table now, Joe moving away my locks of hair that he chopped of as the rest of the men were still fascinated with my hair.

"What happened? You just decided to dress like a guy for now on, hair and all?" Malarky asked me in sheer wonder.

"I figured that I would have to protect my own sorry ass from any Germans who knew that I was a girl." I explained to him with a shrug of my shoulder. The rest of the men waved me off.

"We wouldn't let anyone touch ya, you know that." Muck explained in a grin next to Malarky. The other murmured in agreement as I shrugged my shoulders.

"I needed change anyways, better my hair since it was a mess." I confessed to them.

"Oh yeah, it was such a rat's nest." Luz teased me, having me once again flip him off and getting a wink from him in return. I looked over at Eugene, seeing him sit across from me and one down from being next to Perconte. He was still watching me with his warm brown eyes, though I felt like I was once again under the microscope with how he was looking at me. It was a loving gaze really, nothing more to it.

"What do you think?" I asked him since everyone else was back to talking to one another again, no longer being enraptured with my new hairstyle. He slowly grinned in front of me, having me feel the warmth in my stomach and chest again from that smile that he would rarely show.

"You look good." He replied, having me just smile at him and see that he was then trying to think of another word to use instead of good. I would remark back at him with a snarky comment, but I too was trying to work on my own sense of ego and how I approached him.

"You think it looks good?" I asked softly, seeing him give a nervous chuckle from his spot, squirming a bit as I watched him carefully.

"I think it suits you really nicely." He answered back calmly, and at that moment I had felt the blush coming over me again as he went back to eating his food. I looked down at my folded hands, sensing the hopeless on my predicament. He liked me, it was that damn simple. I was thrilled within my own mind, but I was also afraid. I was slowly letting him in, so I had to fight it off and not give into the temptation. If I let him in, then he would see all of me, even the parts that I hated.

"_Ich have es dir gesagt."_ (I told you) Joe whispered into my ear, having me realize that he was listening into the whole conversation I had with Eugene and how he was complimenting me. I looked over at me, seeing him wink at me and I shoved him again with my shoulder.

"_Lass much_." (Leave me be) I replied back to him, seeing him nod his head and I cringed inwardly. Joe was right: Eugene liked me. Even though Joe didn't see a problem with it, although that right there was crazy in itself, I did. I had to avoid the thought of rejection and heartbreak, even though I knew it would hardly come from someone like Eugene.

He didn't seem like the kind who would break a heart.

* * *

><p>I would help out in the field when I could. When we were planning an attack on the crossroads, I went out by myself without Eugene next to me when they were calling out for medics in the aftermath. They rounded up Germans, shuttling them here and there to command centers to be prisoners of war. I would only help out with the needy, though there were more wounded on the enemy side. Joe, on the other hand, got a graze to the neck, dressing it himself with a bandage that he found and still shooting away at the Germans. I knew we were on good terms again after out fight, but he was back to his hatred to the Germans again. This time, I knew he had no chance of changing his mind, the hatred was evident on his face. Even after Winters went to talk to him about taking some Germans out to the commander center.<p>

"Let's go Kraut boys!" he said in a growl as he was about to move away from Winters when he was called back to Winters. I watched from afar, holding my satchel and seeing Winters take his ammo from him, only leaving him one round. Joe looked pissed, since I could tell he was hating on the Germans more and more and this was a low blow to the stomach, the trust between him and Winters was long gone.

"You shoot a prisoner, and the rest will jump you. Now I want all prisoners alive." Winters ordered him in a low tone, Joe staring right back at him with hate in his eyes but none the less saying yes sir and going on his way. I watched with my eyes as Joe walked by me, clearly avoiding his gaze at me since he was humiliated almost. I shifted my gaze over someone who was on the floor in the grass, looking out of it and having me trot over. It was Webster, and he didn't look any too pleased.

" 'They got me'. You believe that? You believe I said that?" Webster asked aloud in a daze as I squatted down next to him and I looked at his foot, clearly shot at with crimson color from the wound. I looked back at Webster, seeing him eye me.

"Can you make it back to CP?" I asked him.

"Yeah." he replied, having me grab his arm and get him up though he shuffled a bit to avoid walking on his injured foot. I helped him over to the jeep that was waiting for any other injured that were able to walk.

"Here you go, Web," I said to him, hoisting him up on the jeep and propping his foot up to not get hurt, "Go rest up before you get hurt even more."

"You got it, Jem. Thanks, and I'll try to find a book for you while they're chopping off my leg." He joked with me as he was being driven away. I smirked at him, looking back behind me at the scene in front of me. About fifty get away were another group of Germans that were captured, some of them looked gravely injured and needed medical help from what I could see. I wanted to help, the human side of me wanted to help others. But the soldier part of me wanted to stay still and not be seen as a traitor. It wasn't until Winters walked over, looking at the same men as I was looking at.

"They lost their own combat medic in the field today." Winters explained to me calmly, though my eyes were still on the wounded ones there that looked so lost and confused.

"How do you know, sir?" I asked him in wonder.

"I saw him die in front of me, along with the others who didn't make it." Winters answered, having me now my head once to show that I was listening.

"Why don't you go help them?" Winters suggested, having me now look at him in confusion.

"Sir?" I asked tentatively.

"You can help them if you want, I won't stop you." Winters explained, a look of content on his face.

"You want me to help the enemy sir?" I asked him, still thinking that it was odd that he wanted me to do that. But Winters smirked at me, even though the mass chaos after the battle, he looked content on where he was, covered in dirt and all.

"As I recall when we landed in Normandy, you didn't want to loose your sense of morality, did you?" He asked me, having me go silent and think about it for a moment to two. I did say that, after giving a soldier my ration of bread without thinking twice. He was calling me out on a promise that I was making to myself. So I walked away from him, over to the soldiers who were being watched by Malarky and Sisk. I smiled at them both, seeing them watch me as I approached the first German soldier who had a nasty cut over his eye and a bloody neck as well. He was watching me, probably wondering why I was there in front of him, I merely smiled, wanting to show kindness more than hate.

"_Ich bin win Medic. Ich möchte Ihnen, ewenn es das ist in Ordnung_" (I'm a Medic. I want to help you, if that's alright) I explained to him softly and carefully, seeing him analyze me up and down with his bloodshot eyes. A couple of the other German soldiers were looking at me too since I was now speaking German in front of them. The soldier reluctantly nodded his head slowly.

"_Vielen Dank. Ja, Bitte._" (Thank you very much. Yes please) He replied, having me smile widely at him and fish through my satchel, getting to work on his wounds and then moving the rest after a couple of minutes. I knew I was getting death glares from the other Germans, let alone some of the American men who were seeing me help them. However, I was just trying to feed my sense of morality myself, not wanting to descend into a black hole of hate.

There was no way in hell I was going to let that happen.

* * *

><p><strong>October 31st, 1944<strong>

**Driel, Holland**

Days came and went for us, and I made the decision to avoid Eugene like the plague. I never wanted to find myself in such predicament that it would come to be avoiding someone whom I both held dear and held away at arm's length. The fear was taking over me, more and more as the nights came and went with nightmares of rejection from the Easy Company men. But the worst, was a nightmare of Eugene not loving me because of my complicated life. It felt so real, real enough for me to try and avoid him now from day to day.

At first, he thought I was just being too shifty on my feet, moving out of the room when he walked in, or pushing myself away from him when he was getting a bit too close. I just wanted to get the feelings I had for him away from me and out of my system, though it looked more childish on my end. Even some of the Easy Company members were seeing the not too sutle change in my interactions with Eugene and how I was no longer next to him with conversations on our lips. I tried to something else, anything else, in order not to be alone with him and have those butterflies again.

After those days came and went, I could see the hint of rejection on his face whenever I wouldn't make eye contact with him. I could hear the others talking about it, giving it some kind of excuse like it was my time of the month or I was just being too emotional. Thank God for Joe and Bull, who saw through that bullshit and told them to leave me be. It helped too that they gave death glares to the ones who kept talking about me and wondering I was turning into such a bitch to Eugene. Did they know?

How could they?

One night in particular I remembered it coming to a head when I was reading _Odyssey _in my cot that I was staying in, my night off was nice and simple since I wanted to do more reading into the book that was oh so tiring. I was about halfway through once chapter then someone banged on the door in a heated manner. That meant something was wrong, and I closed the book to look at the door.

"Sergeant Liebgott, you're needed out front!" I heard a muffled voice from the other side of the door, having me shoot up and walked briskly to open it. It was none other than Eugene on the other side, but his face looked concerned and agitated. I would want to avoid him at this point, but I saw the look on his face, something was wrong, really wrong.

"What happened?" I asked him in my nursing voice.

"Moose was shot, he needs to get to an Aid station." Eugene explained to me, my eyes going wide and I grabbed my jacket that was lying on the chair next to the door.

"And you need me?" I asked him in confusion.

"Can't do it by myself." He replied back in a grunt, having me realize that I had no choice but to follow through with this. I wanted to not be with him at the moment since the feelings were still there, but a soldier was in trouble and that was my priority: help the comrades. I followed him willingly, the both of us breaking into a jog as we were now outside again in the cold night. I tugged my jacket tighter to my body, since the nights were now colder from the autumn morphing into the winter time here in Holland and in Europe in general.

We both made it in time to see Welsh and Winters with Moose, whom was still on the floor and blood on his jacket with the car in front of them that was going to take him to the Aid station. They were going to lift him as Eugene and I got him up with the help too.

"I got him. Did you get him morphine? How much?" Eugene started his questioning as I examined the wound from my spot, holding his middle and see him gasping for air.

"I don't know: two or three syrettes maybe?" Both Eugene and I looked up at the explanation as we were lifting him up to our waist level in a fast rate. That was not good, too much of that could kill him. Although I stayed calm through I wanted to yell at them, it was Eugene who did the yelling.

"Three Syrettes? Jesus Christ, are you trying to kill him?!" Eugene yelled at him in anger, having me cringe from him using that tone since it was so not like him at all. I wanted to get him to calm down, but there was no use since he was fuming at both Welsh and Winters.

"Sorry Doc." Welsh apologized in a sorrowful tone as we got part of his body into the car on the board that he was on.

"You know, it's a good thing he's a big man. Maybe he'd stand a chance." Eugene said back to them as we got him inside. I was about to go in with him, but something had me stop and wait to see what else was going to happen between Winters, Welsh and Eugene.

"He was in a lot of pain, Doc. We didn't know what to do—" Welsh started, but he was instantly cut off by Eugene pointing his finger and his face was now showing so much anger and frustration that it pained me to just look at him.

"Yeah well, you outta! you know you are officers, you are grownups! You outta know!" He said in a venomous tone that I had enough of it. This was not Eugene at all, not from what I knew of him. I may be avoiding him, but I wasn't going to avoid this. I grabbed his arm and shoved him away in a harsh rate, seeing his eyes still on the both of them and they were filled with hate and pain.

"Knock it off Eugene. Get in the car, now." I ordered him softly, but with authority behind it as Eugene was still staring at the both of them, almost shaking in his boots. I kept my hold on his arm, telling him through my hold that he needed to breathe and calm down and just walk away. Reluctantly he moved away from me, hopping in the car and having me look at both Winters and Welsh. They both looked shocked and ashamed since they were practically scolded by Eugene.

"I'm sorry, sir." I said in a short tone, seeing him nod his head at me as I hopped into the car too. Winters closed the door behind us, leaving a bloody handprint on the window and we were on our way. Eugene was next to me, covering his face with his hands to calm himself down as I was just being quiet next to him. He needed a moment or two to breathe as I was just trying to hard not to yell at him for telling off Winters and Welsh in front of me. It felt more awkward than it should have been, but it wasn't until Eugene spoke up after a few minutes of silence that brought it all to a halt.

"You've been avoiding me." He said it like a statement more than a question, having me freeze next to him and say nothing for a moment or two. He was still heated, I could hear it in his voice when he said it.

"No, I haven't." I countered back with him, not wanting to have this conversation with him at the moment.

"Like hell you haven't." He grunted back at me, looking dead ahead with the anger still on his face as he was leaning his elbows on his knees now, hunched over and looking like he was in pain.

"Eugene—" I began, but he cut he off.

"You leave the room when I come in, you don't look at me anymore." He stated the hurt was in his tone though he was trying to sound angry with me. I closed my eyes in defeat as he went on, "You didn't think that I would notice you trying to get away from me when you could."

"This is ridiculous." I muttered though I wanted to say something else to him.

"You're right, it is. It's ridiculous that I'm not able to talk to my best friend anymore because she avoids me like I'm a disease." Eugene said in a lower tone, looking at me now as I looked back at him. We were having this conversation in the back of a car that was taking a wounded Moose to the Aid station, though I wished it was somewhere else. I hated this, seeing the pain in his eyes that I was giving him. He had to know, in some way he had to know.

"And you have the right to know why," I replied back cooly, seeing him watch me for my explanation as I brought out a heavy sigh, "I don't want….I mean….I'm just…I'm too complicated." Eugene eyed me then, no longer ranting on me or scolding me for avoiding him, but clearly confused as to why I was saying this to him. He inched a bit closer to me now on the bench we both were one, having me wish that I could move away since I was now telling him all that was on my heart.

"Complicated?" He asked me, not understanding what I was trying to tell him.

"Eugene, I'm a mess," I said in a mourning tone, seeing him watch me as I was trying to hard not to cry at this point, "I say things before I think about it, I carry more demons than the next guy in the battle line, and I not good enough with all that I'm carrying to be your friend." I spilled it out, still avoiding to talk about my Epilepsy with him but telling him the points that were haunting me enough to pull him away.

"Who says you're not good enough?" he asked me pressing into the subject more as I was trying to avoid it more.

"No one has to say it, Eugene. I know how I am, and you're too good to have someone like me as their friend." I explained to him in a bitter reply. He just watched me carefully as I said this to him, having me close my eyes in defeat and wait for him to tell me that I was wrong, or that I was stupid. But I heard nothing, which was worse.

Eugene then carefully laced our hands together, having me open my eyes and look at him in wonder as he was giving me a small smile of reassurance and a look of determination. He was not mad, nor afraid, nor sickened by me, He was just there, holding my hand in the moving car and he was giving me another loving look.

"You're good enough, Jemima," He stated to me, his accent was thick with determination and love in it that I lost my train of thought, "You're far beyond good enough for me." It was like he was silently telling me that he cared for me, far too much to show it at that moment. But his words were enough.

Far more than enough.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: I hope you guys like it so far! Keeping leaving me reviews and message me privately if you have anything that you would me to tweek or fix! I'm trying to find the best tool for German Translation, and a Beta would be great too.**

**This chapter is a little Jemima and Doc snippet. I thought they needed a chapter of just the two of them! Enjoy :)  
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><p><strong>December 15th, 1944<strong>

**France**

I finished the last bit of _Odyssey, _placing it down on the table in front of me and thinking off to the distance again in my chair that I propped up against the wall of one of the houses that I was on patrol for. I volunteered to stay out late that night since my mind was once again too occupied with things at home. I got a letter from home that morning, having me feel the sense of dread that was homesickness that came over me again as I was reading my mother's handwriting.

They were doing fine, but it was the fact that I was missing my youngest sister's graduation from high school that year and how she was thinking of going off to college herself, some kind of idea that she apparently got from me. Elizabeth wanted to learn more about literature, which suited her. Anthony was now 27 and he got a job in a factory working with shoes and helping out with bringing in more money to the family since work with my father was going slow. Delilah was now 25, and she was engaged to some man named Trevor who was also Jewish and was a family friend of ours. I was glad for her, they hired Harry to do the music since he was playing gigs all around town and he had plenty of friends to help with the arranging of the music.

Just hearing about their lives and how they were doing just fine was making me wish that I was there too, wanting to see them grow up and go through new chapters. But my mother too wanted to know what I was up to, both my brother and I. What was I going to say to her? I could hear the conversation in my head and how I would write it down for her to read.

_I almost died at least three times, but don't worry I'm not dead yet. I took a bullet to the head, but the helmet saved me, you'd be proud. Oh, and your son is looking like an ass in front of the entire Company with his hatred for the Germans. He's keeping our family name pretty clean, trust me._

There was so much that I wanted to tell her, but then again there was so much that I wanted to avoid telling her. She would hate to hear that both her daughter and her son were almost killed, going into the line of fire because that was our civic duty as soldiers and fighters in the war. Would she even care that I was getting feelings for someone who was in my Company? She would swoon over the fact that someone liked me, which was a first in a very long time.

Someone walked by as I was thinking to myself, having me look up from my spot with my book in hand. It was Buck, whom I haven't seen since he was shot in the ass and taken off in a jeep. He was walking slowly, as if in a dazed dream. But I noticed his eyes were colder and darker than they were before, no long filled with that sparkle and wonder, but now haunting and distant. I watched him for a moment to two, not moving or saying a word until I saw him move a bit farther from me.

"Buck?" I called out carefully, having me see him stop in his tracks like he was frozen there in some kind of force, slowly looking over at me. I saw his distant his own eyes were at that moment, having me slowly get up and take a step towards him, smiling at him so he can see my face from the light of the house behind me, my face was now tinted with the yellow light.

"Jem?" He asked me, his voice was no hollow and no longer cheerful. But I kept smiling at him, shoving the book in my satchel and folding my hands in front of me.

"You came back right now from the hospital?" I asked him in a softer tone, since I could tell he was shaken up by something going on in his own mind and behind his eyes.

"Yeah…yeah they let me go," He replied, having me still stay in my spot on the road as he was looking at me up and down now, "You cut your hair?"

"About two months ago…a bit after you left us." I explained, seeing him give me a smile, though it looked a bit forced and not part of his own kind of smile that he would use before.

"You look good." He merely replied, having me just grin at him as he then shuffled a bit at his spot. I could tell something deep was bothering him, but I didn't have the heart to ask him what it was or why he was so distant compared to before.

"I'm gonna….I'm gonna go find some of the guys." He replied in a drawn out tone, zoning out in front of me for a moment before starting to walk away from me to the other side of the town where the rest of the men were resting for the night. I took a step towards him before he could move farther away from me.

"You okay, Buck?" I asked him in a concerned tone, seeing him freeze once against before looking back at me. I smiled, not wanting to show concern in my eyes or in my stance to him since the last thing he needed was someone to be fearing him. He just nodded his head slowly, giving me a short smile.

"I'll be okay, Jem." He said in reply though I couldn't really see that he was telling the truth. He just walked away, still in his daze as I watched him with my eyes, in fear that he was going to have his own breakdown from what he went through. What was he seeing behind his own eyes and feeling under his own skin? I felt bad, sighing in defeat since he disappeared into the night, but it was short lived when I saw two more figures walking over to me from the dark night. It was Luz and Eugene, the both of them shuffling a bit in the cold night and they were walking over right to me.

"Heya, Jem. Was that Buck that I saw?" Luz asked me in a huff as we were all standing together in the light from the house behind me.

"It was." I replied back, shuffling in my jacket and trying to get somewhat warm since it was cooler than what I was used to back at home, "He looks out of it though."

"Eh, I would be out of it too if I was shot in the ass and sent to lay on my stomach for months at a time." Luz explained in a cocky tone, having me somewhat smile but still feel bad for Buck.

"What are you guys doing out here anyways?" I asked them both, changing the subject from sour to optimistic.

"Joe told us you were on patrol and we figured that we would keep you company since it would be boring out here." Luz explained as he then motioned with his shoulder to Eugene who was next to me, "Plus, this guy wanted to see ya." Eugene eyed him from his own stance, giving him a death glare as Luz grinned wickedly at the both of us.

"Thanks, Luz." Eugene said sarcastically as I just smiled from the banter Luz was trying to do. He shrugged his own shoulders from hearing the dismay in Eugene's voice, whom just smiled over at me as Luz explained himself.

"Would you like me to lie? What a sinner you are!" He said in a mocked hurt tone, the three of us grinning from his antic with Eugene, "What were you doing out here anyways?"

"Reading my book." I answered, pulling out the book from my satchel and showing it to the both of them. Luz grabbed it carefully from my hands, holding it for both Eugene and himself to read.

"_Odyssey _by Homer." Eugene read aloud, his thick accent was cutting and soothing for me to hear in the night that was both chilling and too quiet for me to bear.

"Sounds like a grand old time, Jem. I'm surprised that you're not asleep by now with boredom." Luz commented, having me smirk as I took the book back from him, seeing him then grab something from his back pocket.

"I brought these for us to play with." Luz explained, showing me that what was in his hands was a pack of cards. I grinned, thinking that playing cards were a bit better than reading my book over and over again.

"You know how to make women swoon, don't ya Luz?" I asked him in a cocky manner, hearing him chuckle from the compliment handed to him.

"Eh, I know women real well," Luz replied in his grin, then moving past me to go over to where my chair was, "Come on, let's play a few rounds before you're called in. I can whip your ass with my game."

"Unlikely." I replied back to him a he walked by me. I looked over at Eugene, seeing that he was still in his spot next to me and he just smiled at me the shy smile. It must have been the smile Joe was talking about when it came to Eugene liking me. It made me feel that same spark in my stomach as Eugene walked over to me slightly.

"I figured you needed someone to talk to, since you've mostly been alone these days," Eugene explained to me, having me realize that it was true, "No one should be alone these days."

"I can agree to that." I agreed, seeing him grin widely at me as we both walked side by side together over to Luz who got an another chair from inside the house as Eugene and I were talking. But as we walked, side by side over to Luz's table that was set up with cards, I could feel him brush up against my arm with his arm, a sudden shock of electricity was scorching under my skin and through my own brain. At first, I thought it was another round of Epilepsy, not it was not that really. No, this was something else, something more intense and better.

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><p>"Look at me, I'm John Wayne. The costume department set me up with these great navy whites. Whatdya think?" Luz said aloud in his best John Wayne accent as the bunch of us were sitting in the dark room with the movie playing out in front of us. It was once again another night for us, and we were just sitting around watching another movie that they were showing us because we were bored. I sat with Joe and Luz, whom was already on Toye and Lipton's last nerve because of his quotes and accents throughout the movie.<p>

"Would you shut up, I'm trying to watch this." Lipton warned him carefully, the annoyance in his voice as he was glaring Luz down. Luz, however, was not moved by him.

"I've seen this move thirteen times." Luz explained as I was leaning back in my chair, arms crossed in front of me and just smirking from his antics. Joe was trying to watch the flick too, but he was too occupied to yell at Luz.

"Well, I haven't, so shut up." Toye whispered harshly to him over his shoulder. Joe smirked next to me as I kept my eyes on the film. I haven't seen it before either, but this was more entraining than watching it in silence.

"Okay, go ahead at watch it!" Luz replied with a huff, a smile was still there as Joe and I chuckled, not even able to hold it in as Lipton and Toye were pissed. I looked past Joe and Luz, seeing Buck on the other side of the room in his own spot. staring at the screen and being nice and quiet. Since I saw him that night some days before, I could see that he changed for the worse. He was no longer real cheerful with the rest of the men, not like he was before. No, he was different now, more of a solitary man.

"Heya Doc, you're missing the flick." I heard behind me in a harsh whisper, having me look up and over my head to see Eugene sneak his way behind myself in the chair there, leaning over to me close to my ear as I focused back on the movie in front of me.

"Hey, Jemima, you wanna see somethin'?" Eugene asked me in a whisper, at first giving me a chill and then it felt soothing since it was coming from Eugene. I kept my eyes on the movie in front of us, though I leaned back a bit to be closer to Eugene with our conversation.

"I'm seeing somethin' right now, Eugene." I whispered back to him softly, having me see Luz from the corner of my eye grin from my playfulness with Eugene.

"Come on, you wanna see this." Eugene whispered to me in enthusiasm. I looked over at him, seeing how close he was to me that our noses almost touched each other. it made me freeze as he just grinned at me, something behind his eyes was so warm and light compared to the darkness he had some months beforehand in Holland.

"Trust me." He reassured me, having me look over at Joe and see him watch me carefully. I was watching him as if I was waiting for his approval. He just smirked, still watching the screen but clearly amused with the whole situation that was happening.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do in a dark theater." Joe commented aloud, having me shove him and hear him chuckle from my antics with him. He knew that Eugene couldn't hear the last part, since Eugene already bolted to move out of the way from the others that were trying to watch the movie, but then again I wish he didn't say it at all. I moved away from the two boys, in which Luz tapped Lipton on the shoulder now with a grin plastered on his face as I was now on the wide of the room, standing up straight.

"Hey Lip, favorite part! Got a Penny?" He said in an accent, looking suave as I watched him go on, "Got a penny? Got…A…Penny?!"

"Got a Penny?" The woman on the screen said aloud, having me hear Luz chuckle as Eugene pulled me away from the group and out of the room.

"What are you showing me, Eugene?" I asked him in disbelief as we walked down the hall a bit in the darkness of the building. I had no idea where I was going, but then again I did mind since Eugene was leading the way and he knew where we were going.

"You'll see." He replied in a lighter tone. I was glad we both were on good terms again with each other, even after we had a bit of a fight in the jeep that was taking an injured Moose to the Aid Station. It was me who was at fault with the whole situation, trying to push him farther and farther from me since it was the right thing in my mind. But now I was just glad we were still talking and being close to one another.

He finally opened one door, having me walk in behind him but then freeze in my spot in amazement from what was in front of me. There was a whole library there, and we were right in the middle of it. It wasn't touched from any bit of the war as if it was preserved and waiting for someone to hide in it. The shelves reached up to the ceiling, covered in books upon books. I was lost for words as the room was circular, compared to the other square rooms. It was light from the lights and a candle or two in the room as I looked from the shelves over to Eugene, who was waiting for some kind of approval from me. His look was concerned and scared, not knowing how I was going to react.

"Eugene….how did you find this?" I breathed out.

"Winters found it when we got here. I was with him when he saw the room and I figured…since you love to read and all…you'd like to see it too." He explained, having me look over the place again. This was a library for certain, though rough around the edges, but it was nice none the less. I was just glad to see more books than what I was used to, the three that I had in my satchel that was taking enough room. I haven't seen a real library since I left San Francisco to go to war, so this was a sight for sore eyes. I grinned from ear to ear, walking to the middle of the circular room and breathing in the scents of dampness from the weather, leather bound books, dust from the pages and wax from the candles.

"This is wonderful." I said in a sigh, turning slowly in my spot as I looked at every bookshelf and column in the room, ending with my eyes back at Eugene whom was standing near the door to go back to the hallway.

"It seemed like you need to pick out some more books." Eugene joked, having me laugh and hear my own sigh bounce off the walls slightly.

"These can last me for the rest of the war." I said aloud, walking over to one of the shelves and touching each book that was there with my fingers, running over them delicately and carefully as I smiled. I missed having books around me, something for me to do that was not consisting of snarky remarks or rude comments. It made me forget that I was in the army, how I was young again and reading for days and days on end.

"And I wanted to make it up to you." Eugene said behind me, having me turn and look at him in confusion.

"Make it up to me?" I asked him.

"I wasn't nice to ya when we were helping Moose. I yelled at you when you didn't deserve it." Eugene confessed, having me hear the bit of brokenness in his tone as I instantly shook my head in defense. I walked over to stand in front of him, grabbing both of his hands in my own to have him look at me.

"I was the one that deserved to be yelled at," I explained to him carefully, "The way I was treating you was pure shit, and you had no right to be treated that way—"

"You never deserve to be yelled at." Eugene countered in a bolder tone, squeezing my hands and having me freeze in how he was telling me this, "I yelled at you because I cared about you too damn much for you to push me away." I couldn't say anything at all since he confessed that he cared. I knew he cared, since we met in Camp Toccoa he cared about me and what I was going through, but to hear it from his voice and out of his mouth made my heart skip a beat and my breath go shallow. The way he was looking at me, how he was holding my hands and being so close I could smell the scent he was carrying made everything in my mind feel hazy.

"You….you care about me?" I asked him carefully, my voice was now low and not even bold anymore. He just stared at me for a moment, then doing something that made my breathe become forever lost. He leaned in and placed his lips against my own. My eyes fluttered closed within an instant.

Eugene "Doc" Roe just kissed me.

I have kissed boys once or twice in my life, this was not my first. But by the good Grace of God, it felt like my first. Maybe it was because I cared about him far more than any of the other boys that I kissed and felt intense and gentle at the same time. His lips were so soft against my chapped one, having me feel velvet and the pool in my stomach getting warmer with each second he held it. I still held his hands, as if he was my life source and my strength when he held the kiss there in the library. The kiss felt careful, not pushy or intense. It was like touching a feather with my lips, but this was making my blood go hot and my eyes seeing a billion stars behind the closed eyelids. My body was frozen, though it felt like I was flying over the clouds in the sky.

Eugene finally pulled away, only being so close to still kissing me but far enough to where I can see his eyes. I opened my one, seeing how bright his eyes were and how wide. He looked shocked from what he did, and I could see he was waiting for me to do something, anything, that would make the situation less awkward.

"I think…that answers…that question." Eugene breathed out in a shallow breath, as if he was holding it in for so long. I felt the vibration of his voice shooting down my own spin since we were still holding hands and I just grinned at him, thinking this was now my turn to be bold to him. I leaned in, moving my hands to rest on his upper chest near his shoulders and I kissed him just as softly as before. After a moment of being frozen in front of me, Eugene carefully placed his hands on my waist, wrapping his arms around me like a protected bubble and holding me close to him. He kissed me back carefully, having me sigh against his lips and how good this was feeling. This was better than chocolate, strawberries and anything else that was so good against my lips before.

This felt more like a fairytale for me, kissing someone in the library with the dim light that made everything look like it was tinted gold. I didn't care at this point, whether I was trying to push him out. He was bringing himself into my life, and he was now going to stay there. As we kissed there in the circular room, just the two of us there and holding each other gently like we were meant to be, it made everything else about this war melt away like snow in the sun. I was no longer afraid, not in fear that Iw as not good enough for him. I could just look in his eyes and feel like I was home again, nothing was going to touch me that would bring me harm.

Epilepsy be damned. Eugene Roe will be the death of me.


	18. Chapter 18

**December 20th, 1944**

**Bastogne**

"Medic! Where's Jem?! MEDIC!" I ran as fast as I could, through the blistering cold that was around me and the snow that was threatening to drown me. The cold was biting at my exposed skin like knives, stabbing me over and over as the wind slammed into me, making me lose my breath when I ran faster and faster along the forest floor. The trees around me were exploding and falling over, the thunderous blows from the noise was flooding my ears and make me cringe as I tried to find the one who was calling for me in this new hell. My new hell.

Bastogne.

This place was beyond cold, it was beyond kind, and it was far from heaven. WE were stuck here, trying to hold the line when others couldn't because of the Germans fighting them with a vengeance. We were holding our own there in the cold fortress, though it made us all wish we weren't there. Currently, we were under fire, after being in silence for so long. I felt the battle of the cold in contrast with the hot flashes of blood against my skin for every soldier that I tried to mend and heal as they we were bleeding on the floor beneath us.

"JEM!" I heard it again, having me run faster and move out of the way of the explosions of the ground and trees near me. I saw the first one who was hurt, sliding to my knees and grabbed his body to see where he was hurt. It was his collarbone, which was scattered in blood from the fragments of a bomb going off nearby. I got him on his back as I tried to warm my hands, which were on the brink of freezing and getting to work.

"You're fine, trust me you're fine. Just breathe in and out." I reminded him over the gunfire, having to grab with my fingers since I no longer had scissors and get the fragments out one by one. He scared after each removal, more blood coming out and then me having to grab a bandage from my satchel in grimace. That was another thing that was getting worse about this place: lack of an Aid Station. That meant no supplies, in which we were running dangerously low on and we were going to be in deep shit if we didn't more supplies on our hands. I worked hard on the skin, feeling my fingers getting slick in blood and coldness as I got the bandage on there and then got him to sit up again.

"Go in a foxhole, now!" I ordered, seeing him bolt away from me and try to run while holding his collarbone as I moved away from the area, just in time for another explosion to hit right where we were not three seconds before. I ran as fast as I could, feeling the snow fly up and hit my eyes as I tried to find cover, but there was nowhere to go. Gunfire was heard again, having me panic and try so hard to concentrate since I was out in the open now.

"Jem! Get in here, Jem!" I heard behind me, having me look behind me and see Lipton in a foxhole about fifty feet away from me. He gave me a look of panic and was waving at me, covering his helmet with one hand. I ran towards him, hearing the others cry out to each other with more explosions going off around us. When I was close enough, I jumped into the foxhole and covered my head as one part of the ground near us went sky high in the air.

"You okay, Liebgott?" Lipton asked me aloud as I tucked my head into my chest and covered my head with my arms and hands. It was when I looked up when I felt the wave of panic coming over me, since blood was pouring over my nose and down my jacket like a faucet. This was bad, real bad, and I felt my neck give into the twitching and my hands clutching my pants to stop the shaking. Lipton looked at me now in panic: my head was tilted back, blood coming out freely from the nostrils, and having a seizure in front of him. He was concerned that I was hit, but I was concerned that I was now exposed.

He knew.

"Jem!" He said, grabbing my face gently and looking at me with wide eyes as I rode out the seizure, grunting every once in awhile and feeling my body go through the motions. Explosions were still going off around us, not making it better for me since I was trying to concentrate. The spasms were getting real bad since we came to the winter fortress, the cold was contributing and the constant running around was making it worse. But to top it all off, the fact that I ran out of my medicine to ease the seizures was not making my life more fragile. So Lipton was witnessing my Epilepsy that I wished I could have kept secret this whole time at war. I was doing so well, until now.

When I finished, after a solid 20 seconds of a seizure, I sighed in defeat that was upon my lips and they started to shake from the cold. The explosions stopped as well, having me hear nothing at first and then the rustling around of the soldiers who were getting out of their holes to help each other. I wished I was with Joe right now instead of Lipton because Joe knew of my secret. But I then again wished I was with Eugene since he had a calming effect on me and make me feel safe. Hell, since we kissed we both were trying to hard to hide those smiles we were giving each other, not to mention that mere need to hold each other's hands and even share one kiss in the open. It was still a risk for us to be together since we could be in big trouble if Winters found out.

Lipton stared at me, dumbstruck of what just happened and I looked over at him, my own eyes wide What was he going to say or do now? He thought that I was dying for a few seconds, but now I looked okay. Sure I had blood still coming down my jaw and chin, but I looked fine none the less.

"Jem…what in the hell was that?" He asked calmly, having me sigh in defeat and look down at the hands that were clutching my pants in a vice grip. I released them, looking back at Lipton and taking in a shaky breath.

"It was a seizure, sir." I replied carefully to him, seeing him still look confused and shift at bit in his own foxhole.

"A seizure…" He repeated, still not convinced. I nodded my head slowly. I was already defeated in front of him, so it was better to just tell him what was going on with me. There was no point in hiding it now, not with Lipton really.

"I…well….I have a condition, sir." I explained, seeing him now stare at me intently. I told him the whole story, my Epilepsy and how I was born with it. I explained when I get the seizures and the nosebleed, and by the good Grace of God I was cleared to be in the army because of my medication. He listened to the whole thing, not interrupting and not showing any judgment on his own face. After I was finished, he was still soaking it all in as I sat there, waiting for him to so something in our foxhole. After a moment or him staring at me, he then reached into my satchel without me moving, pulling out the bandana there and then dabbing some of the blood away from my chin and jawline. It was like he was being a mother hen to me, making sure I was okay and not showing any hatred or uneasiness to me being covered in my own blood. I stayed still as I did this, seeing him get most of it off before handing it back to me.

"So, you said you have medication?" Lipton asked me as we stayed in the foxhole a little while longer together.

"I did, sir. But I ran out before we came here in Bastogne." I explained to him.

"And you have no way of getting more?" He asked.

"Not unless we get to a hospital, in which we won't for awhile, sir." I replied.

"We need to get you medicine, Jem. If what I just saw was a minor seizure, then it could get worse," Lipton, thinking to himself before he went on, "I'll talk to Winters and see what he can do for you."

"He doesn't know, sir." I countered back. Lipton looked at me now with a confused look again.

"How is it that he doesn't know, Jem?" He asked me, now a bit annoyed.

"It was never brought to him, Sir. And I didn't think it would be this bad to be fair." I explained as much as I could, but Lipton shook his head.

"Jem, you could die from this out here. One false move and you could be dead, you know that?" He explained, having me see the fatherly type of him coming out as he was somewhat scolding me.

"I know that, sir. But I can do this, I can take care of myself when it comes to this." I reassured him, seeing him eye me to make sure I was telling the truth. I sighed in defeat, taking off my helmet to run my fingers in my short hair and think of how I was going to keep going with this lie. Now Lipton knew, and other than my own twin, no one else in the Company really knew. I knew that had suspicions as to how I was getting nosebleed all the times, but nothing other than that.

"I have to tell Winters, Jem." Lipton explained calmly, having me look at him and plead with my own eyes that he wouldn't say a thing, "I have to. If it's going to affect how you do your job as a Sergeant and your own health, then he has a right to know." I cringed inwardly, knowing that he was telling the truth. Winters needed to know, as our leader in Easy Company, he had to know ally hat was happening around him and how his soldiers underneath were handling themselves. There was no point of being stubborn about it, no need to hide from it. In all places to be exposed, it had to be here.

"Fine."

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><p>"Thanks, Jem." I handed the spare pair of gloves that I found for Muck to him as I was going from foxhole to foxhole to get supplies and check on the men. After the assault, us Combat Medics were on a mission to find anything that we could get our hands on for medicine and medic supplies. But it was hard, since hardly anyone kept their morphine from the assault in Holland and anything else that we needed. It was even harder since my hands were about to freeze over, my skin was going beyond pale from the temperature and my bones were getting stiff. I was not used to this cold, it was new and scary for me to feel. Every step was like stepping on glass, it hurt like hell from the freezing winds biting against my skin and eyes. I had no idea how I was going to get through this, or how I was not freezing to death in the snow.<p>

"You got it, Muck. Stay warm." I said to him as I walked on to the next foxhole. It happened to be Joe's foxhole that he was sharing with Grant. They were chatting together as I squatted in front of them both.

"You boys have any morphine that I got snag from ya?" I asked them both, though y teeth were chattering and my hands were shaking from the cold.

"I don't, sorry." Grant replied, having me look over to my brother. He shook his head, having me curse under my breath in German and look behind me as I saw Eugene talking to others. The cold made him look beyond pale too, skinny in his jacket and more meek in his attire as he went from group to group for supplies. I wanted to be near him again, though we were both too occupied with the assaults happening around us in Bastogne to have alone time. It made me sad, but I had to work on and not loose focus.

"Jemmie, your hands." Joe said in a worried tone, having me look down and see how blue my hands were. I just stared, not thinking anything of it as Joe immediately was about to take off his own pair when I stopped it.

"Leave it. You need your hands warm for fighting." I reminded him gruffly because of the cold. Joe eyed me in shock.

"Yeah, and you need yours for healing us out when we get shot." Joe argued with me, but I shook my head and shoved his hands back to his chest before he colds trip his gloves.

"Keep yours. I'll find something to work with." I reassured him, seeing the lack of confidence on his face from my explanation. I gave him a hard look, not in the mood to argue with him today.

"I"ll be fine, Joe. Trust me." I said to him again, seeing him sigh and then I saw Grant working on his own gun for a moment.

"You guys stay warm." I said to the both of them, getting up from squatting and then seeing Joe still look up at me.

"You need to get warm, Jemmie." Joe reminded me, having me nod my head slowly as I moved away from him over to the next foxhole.

"Like that'll happen. I have a job to do."

* * *

><p>Night fell over us, having me walk around on my patrol as I was looking at every foxhole to make sure everyone was okay. I was still freezing though, my skin was on the verge of icing over and my breath was coming out in shallow pants. I was shaking from top to bottom, not being able to stay still as I was walking slowly in the snow, my boots getting wet from the constant shuffling in the snow and the coldness of the air was making me go insane. I needed to get warm and fast, but there was no way in hell that is going to happen at this point. I was not going to show defeat, but this cold was so close to breaking me into a thousand pieces.<p>

"Jemima." My name was called softly against the small wind that came through the area, having me look to my left and see Eugene in one of the foxhole, poking his head out from under the covering and looking right at me. I smiled seeing him, but it hurt because of the coldness in my cheeks. My arms were crossed in front of me, my hands in my armpits to keep them warm as Eugene waved me over.

"Come on, get inside before you freeze to death." He ordered at me, having me shuffle over and grunting as I did this. When I was close enough, he held out his hand for me to take. I gently grasped it, feeling how hot his hand was and I heard him intact a breath from our hands touching. He took it carefully, helping me inside the foxhole.

"Christ, you're ice cold." he said in a breathy tone as I sat down in the foxhole. It was big enough for the both of us, since there was no one there and we were now covered with only a small flicker of darkness there. Once I was sitting down, he immediately grabbed the both of my hands and cupped them in his, bringing rubbing them frantically to keep me warm. But it was hard, since I was still trying to breathe from the coldness hitting my lungs like hammers and my own mind was going numb.

"How long have you been walking around?" Eugene asked me softly since we were close enough again to each other.

"About an hour now." I grunted through him trying to warm me up. He then brought my hands to his lips, close enough to blow air against it and have me feel the hot breath he had against my icing skin. I smiled at him though it felt like my lips were blue and shaky.

"You need to be careful, I don't think you're used to this cold." He explained carefully to me in a loving manner as I eyed him.

"Are you?" I asked in wonder, seeing him pause briefly before smiling.

"Not a chance. We don't get snow in Louisiana." Eugene explained to me with his lips touching my hands every once in awhile since he was still trying to warm me up. I grinned at him, seeing him rub my hands again as he lowered our hands down for me to see his lips.

"I thought I wanted to see some snow out here, you know. But now I hate it, it's a freakin' nusence." I said aloud, seeing my breath leave my lips and I was still shaking in my spot in the foxhole. It was a bit warmer in there than it was out in the cold itself, but it wasn't warm enough to make me stop shivering. Eugene just smiled, having me already feel a bit warmer from just that grin he was giving me.

"This isn't snow, this is something else that more cold and bitter." Eugene replied softly, though I could tell he too was cold through how he spoke. We were silent for a moment or so, having the both of us just try to breathe in and out before we would freeze our asses off. This was good enough for me though, being there with Eugene and just having a moment together of being bitter about the winter.

"Who got hit today from the assault?" I asked Eugene in a huff, though I smiled at him from being across from him.

"A couple of guys from the other battalion. It wasn't too bad." Eugene explained to me as he rubbed his thumb against my fingers, something that was both bringing be comfort and warmth as he went on, "How about you? Did you make it out okay today?"

"It was a bit rough, but I'm okay." I replied to him although I missed the fact that I wanted to tell him about the seizure episode. A part of me wanted to tell him so badly, but the other part was holding it tight in a death grip, refusing to let another person in Easy Company know about my secret that I wished I can take to the grave. Lipton now knows, and Winters is going to know in the future. Who else was I going to give my burdens to? It was not fair, not to them. I was too damn selfless to think of myself at that point.

"You look tired, _chère_." Eugene said out of the blue, having me look at him again and get a bit lost on how he was speaking French to me now.

"What did you say?" I asked him in a small laugh, thinking ti sounded beautiful in how he spoke it and how it rolled off his tongue.

"I called you _chère, _it means dear one." He explained without any hesitance in his voice. It was like he was waiting for some time to say it to me, maybe even before we kissed. Was it something he whispered under his breath when he looked at me or when I would pass him by? I was till confused as to how I was in his affections and how he viewed me as something worth caring for. How pathetic that sounded, but it was true. I grinned from ear to ear, my chapped breaking lips were hurting from the action, but I didn't mind. Eugene called me dear, and it made me fall for him more and more.

"You're such a _Liebste." _I commented back to him, seeing a grin back on his face. I loved seeing his smile, even in the dark in which it was bringing lightness of our foxhole. He then carefully reached up to take off my helmet, which was nice since the helmet was metal and made the cold against my face unbearable. I felt like my head can breathe again now as my hair was no longer hiding and was now framing my face. His fingers lingered against my skin on my forehead, where the scar was from the bullet ricochet and I felt how warm his fingers were there. But my eyes were still on Eugene, instantly thinking of home and how he made everything feel good and safe. Was this what it felt like, having someone you cared for in front of you, loving you and touching you in such a way only lovers would? God I hope so, I prayed for that.

"_Liebste_.." Eugene trailed off, though it sounded odd for him to speak in German since I loved him talking in French. I gave him a small smile, still feeling his fingers against my skin and it felt like he was leaving a kiss there.

"It means sweetheart." I translated for him softly, seeing his eyes shoot from my forehead over to me though I stayed perfectly still and the smile was not leaving my face. His own grin was still there, though his fingers slowly moved from my head down to my neck. He rested it there, having me feel my own pulse against his hand as he then leaned it to kiss me softly. I welcomed the kiss, since I knew it was the first ones of many that I hoped we would share together. He was just a careful with the kiss as he was when he first kissed me in that library, the gentle brushing of our chapped lips having me firmly believe that love was like seeing the galaxies in the skies above, memorizing.

He pulled away from me, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me close to him, the both of us settling against the wall of the foxhole and my head against his shoulder, suddenly feeling sleepy and in a daze from just a gentle yet powerful kiss from Eugene. He kissed me with such certainty and with caution, taking my breath away as our hands intertwined again together in the middle of each other on our knees as I felt him kiss my head.

"Go to sleep, _chère._" Eugene said to me against my hair as I closed my eyes. He was such a safe place, my bunker in times of chaos and woe, and for a brief moment, it felt like I was the same for him. Ever since we kissed and admitted we cared about each other, it now just about us showing each other how we care. But it was a matter of how long we could kiss or how flamboyant we were in each other like young lovers would in stories. No, it was way we held hands together, or how we looked at each other and stayed close to the other that showed and told each other silently.

We were quiet and careful lovers it felt like, and it was good.

* * *

><p>"Should have shot Hinkle in the ass." Malarky said aloud as the group of them were sitting around one fire with the snow falling on them, talking to each other and eating whatever the cook was giving them. It was another day in the freezing snow of Bastogne, and Easy Company was trying to make the best of it when it came to talking and entertainment with one another. But it was still rough for the Combat Medics, since we were still dangerously low on supplies and we were now restoring to taking first aid kits from soldiers and using those items inside.<p>

I was sitting with Eugene, seeing that he wasn't hungry and already looking out of it and I was trying to eat the food that was given to me. It wasn't good at all, but it was better than not eating anything and having an empty stomach.

"Hinkle nearly shot him in the ass!" Muck commented, the group laughing as I grinned from their antic with my own tin cup in hand. Eugene was smoking a cigarette, quiet in his spot and just observing them.

"God bless you." Babe said to the man who was giving seconds as I looked from that group over to Eugene, seeing the shade in his face and cheeks from not eating. I wanted him to eat, but he was mostly too occupied with helping the others get better and not get hurt. It was the same for me, but I was trying to take care of myself when it came to my health and how I was making sure no other seizures would happen to me. Not since the incident where Lipton witnessed it.

"These smell like my armpit." Malarky said in disgust.

"At least your armpit's warm." Muck replied to him as I nudged Eugene.

"You need to eat, Eugene." I said to him in a low tone, not wanting the others to hear.

"I'm fine, Jemima. I promise." He reassured me as he finished his own cigarette.

"You don't look it." I muttered back at him, seeing him look back at me with a concern in his eyes. he could see the fear in my own eyes from him not eating, then giving me a reassuring smile and nudging my knee with his.

"I'll eat." He replied, having me grin at him before I looked up to see Guarnene walk over to the pair of us. He looked a bit out of place, like something was eating away at him as he looked right at me.

"Jem, Winters wants to talk to ya in his tent." Guarnene said in a huff, having me suddenly know what it was about. But I had to make a brave face, nodding my head at him and then looking back at Eugene. He was now confused as to what was going on and why I was needed by Winters.

"See you later." I said to him simply, since the other thing I wanted to do with him was clearly not going to be allowed in public. He just smiled weakly as I got up from my spot and walked away from the area, hearing the rest of the conversation behind us.

"Hey, Eugene. Lt. Dike' got a full aid kit. Try him." Babe said to him as I walked away in the snow, already dreading what was to come in front of me.

* * *

><p>"Acute Epilepsy?" Winters repeated after me as we were both hunched in his tent of a foxhole, Nixon and Lipton with him as I nodded my head slowly, taking off my helmet and feeling the short hair coming undone and flowing in the soft but bitter wind.<p>

"Yes, sir." I replied back smoothly, though on the inside I was freaking out.

"I suspect this is not a constant thing that happened every day." Winters said in both a authoritative but kind tone, having me still think he was about to kick me out of Easy for not saying anything to him for the men.

"No sir. It only happens every once in while under certain circumstances." I explained in a rush, trying to make sure my point was brought across.

"And what would those be?" He asked me, having me take in a deep breath for how I was going to explain it to him some more and not look like a victim.

"Heavy stressful situations and health precautions, sir." I answered him.

"And yet you chose not to bring this up to us, when this is a serious medical condition even for a medic to go through?" Winters asked me, having me see that his face was clearly not amused that I kept this from him. I eyed Lipton for a second who was behind him, seeing him nod his head at me once to show that he wanted me to tell him all that was going on with me for my own sake.

"Sir, I didn't bring it up because I believed that it was not going to affect my job here in Easy Company. It was never a concern to be brought up with when I was Head Nurse at my own Hospital for a number of years, and I don't think it will be now, sir." I explained to him in a bold tone, not longer wanting to look like easy prey for him to strike on. Winters eyed me then, having me see his breath in and out of his nose and study me with his own piercing eyes. I hated this, more than anything, and I wished I was somewhere else, anywhere else.

"Well, I am disappointed that you did not bring this up to me sooner, let alone while we were in training so we could have taken the proper precautions with you." Winters explained to me calmly, folding his hands in front of him, but I shook my own head.

"I have been taking precautions all my life, sir. When I joined the army, I wished to change that and not let this defy me." I replied back to him in a calmer statement, trying to contain my own aggression that I was feeling at that point. I hoped Winters knew where I was going with this when it came to what was going to defy me as a soldier, not as someone with a disability. It was a part of me, not all of me.

"In any case, I somewhat glad you told me now instead of me seeing on the floor having a seizure and dying in front of me who had no idea." Winters explained some more, having me stay silent at that point as he continued, "As for the men, they need to know what this is."

"And they have every right, sir." I added. He nodded his head then, thinking to himself once more. I saw Lipton give me a small smile from behind Winters, and Nixon just looked like he was trying to read my eyes to see if this was all true enough for him.

"Sir?" I asked Winters aloud, seeing him look at me now with interest.

"Yes, Jem?" He asked me.

"I wish to tell Easy Company myself," I explained, seeing the small look of shock on his face from what I was asking of him, "Sir, this is my responsibility. I held this from not only yourself and the other officers in our Company, but from the men themselves. They have the right to know from me and me alone since I am to blame for not telling them." It was true: I decided not to tell any of the other men because of the constant fear of rejection. The worse was Eugene, since we both clearly liked each other and were not going to be separated anytime soon, it was going to be the hardest to tell them.

"Alright," Winters replied, having my own eyes look at him in pure shock that he agreed, "But I wish for you tell them before we leave Bastogne. The sooner they know the better. Understand?" I was already giving this secret away sooner than I wanted, or maybe it was later. I had to face the true demons inside of me: fear of rejection and isolation. For some reason, I thought they would hate me, but how could they? They saw me as one of them, didn't they? I saved their asses so many times that they considered me a member of the Company, someone who had value to them and was their true friend. So this should be no different.

Should it?

* * *

><p>Days came and went some more, trying to sleep in the nights and walk around in the days to keep the blood pumping in my veins. I was trying to hard to stay war, but the coldness was not letting me. I had no gloves at that point, since they were lost one minute when I wasn't looking. So my bare hands were shoving under my armpits or in my jacket pockets, yet they were still tinted blue and on the verge of freezing over. I knew the results of frostbite on the body, and some of the men were already suffering from it.<p>

Yet we were still being shot at left and right. Trees were still falling like paper onto the ground with ease from the explosions, and the call for medics was becoming more frequent as the fights went on and on. Sisk got hit in the leg, Eugene having to take him to the one area in Bastogne that was an Aid station, well, it was a church really. They had all the injured soldiers were since we had nowhere else to take them when we were cut off by the Germans. They were sitting ducks, as were we. We had no idea when we were going to be done there in the hell that was the forest, but I prayed it would be soon.

One of the times we had another assault on our hands from the Germans was the worst for me. I was running once again towards the call of someone who needed help, hearing more gunfire go off left and right and the bombs going off near me. I kept running though since I had the mere fear of losing another soldier at the hands of time would kill me. The soldier who was yelling had his arm split open on the side, having me see the blood flowing out and maybe a bit of bone. I grabbed a bandage that I could find in my satchel, which left me with only a few more, and I got him bound up when I saw Luz running across the field with his radio pack on his back.

"LUZ!" I called out to him, seeing him freeze and look over at me. Once he saw me, he ran over in a fast rate, sinking to his knees as I got the rest of the bandage on the soldier's arm and hearing him groan in pain.

"Call for a jeep, I think we're going to need it since we're dropping like flies out here." I explained to him.

"I gotcha Jem." Luz replied, getting the radio ready as I stayed with the soldier, keeping him low from any enemy fire. I heard someone else call out for a Medic, having me look back at Luz again as he was talking on the phone.

"Stay with the soldier and get him to the keep!" I ordered him, seeing him nod his head as he was still talking on the phone. I shot up from my spot, going across the open area where there was no one around, it was purely open with the snow on the ground. But as soon as I got into the middle of the clearing, an explosion went off in front of me, having me hear the trees rip from the earth and start to teeter in front of me. I looked up, seeing the trees fall towards me as they were falling fast. I and no time to run backwards as I was then swallowed by the two trees, making me hit the floor and cover my head with my hands and arms when the two trees fell on me side by side.

"JEM!" Someone cried out, thinking that I was squashed. But it was purely the opposite. I was hit by the bark, slashing at my face and neck as it hit the floor and I was stuck right in the middle, cowering on the snow floor and once again finding myself go into another seizure there. The sudden impact and the heart rate that sky-rocket within seconds threw me overboard, having me shake out in pain as I was stuck between the two large tree trunks, looking at the sky and praying that this was over.

"Where is she?! I can't see Jem!" Luz said aloud from far off in the distance, having me close my eyes and try to think of something else while the seizure rode me hard. But it was no use, no happy memory was coming through me to help me. I was there, alone and trapped in my own mind and body as people were calling out for me to get up and get out of the way.

"She's in there, I know it! We need to get her outta there!" Malarky called out as I writhed back and forth with my eyes closed. I could hear someone running up and calling me name, but my body was refusing to have me try and see who it was. Think, Jemima, think. Think happy thoughts, and you'll make it out alive. What brought me happiness these days other than sleep and the mere joy of being able to breathe for one more day. All I could think about was Eugene, his face in my mind and how he brought me joy with just his damn smile and how he showed no fear in being a combat medic. He was now afraid, or at least he didn't show it. I saw his face in my head, that smile that made me want to melt and how warm his dark eyes were.

It was when I opened my eyes that everything went to hell because I was not alone.

I slowly opened my eyes, seeing a silhouette above me and having me now wish that I was dead. It was none other than Eugene, who had a look of shock on his face and pure fear since he saw my seizure attack. Slowly, and seeing him move out of the way, I got up from in between the trunks of the fallen stress. Eugene stood in front of me, still dumbfounded to what he saw and now seeing me covered in scrapes and scabs from the fallen trees. My hands were still shaking a bit from the episode, but my eyes were on him alone. He saw, he witness the whole thing and now he was staring at me as though he witness a horrific event. It was horrific, hell, I would me mortified too when I saw someone whom I care for writhing around on the floor like they were possessed.

"Oh Christ, you're alive!" Luz said in a sigh of relief as he ran over, along with Malarky and Buck as they were looking at me in amazement. They didn't see it, so they thought I was just hiding out. But not Eugene, who was still staring at me and saying nothing as I gave them all a nervous smile, to hide that fact that I was exposed to Eugene.

"I'm lucky I guess." I said in a breathy relief as I climb over one of the trucks. But Eugene caught my arm, cradling it in his hand and having me watch him now as he was giving me a serious stare, helping me down from the trunk and the others talking to each other to make sure that they were all okay. My mind was back on Eugene, and how I was going to have to deal with this. Simple, really. So I just took a deep breath and grabbed his hand in my own.

"Eugene, there's something I need to tell you."


	19. Chapter 19

"Eugene," I started, looking over at him as we sat side by side on the massive tree trunk that almost killed me, just the two of us as I was now telling him about my condition. It was calm again in the forest, the snow falling lightly over the area as the rest of the men were getting their bearings in their foxholes. I think they sensed that Eugene and I needed to have some alone time to talk about what happened, since Eugene once again thought I was dead and crushed under a tree. But no, it was worse in my case. He saw my seizure and it made an even more bitter feeling in my chest, since we were just starting something good together and now we needed to have a talk.

"Eugene, I'm sick." I stated plainly, although he was still staring at me to read what was going on in my head, that and replaying my seizure over and over again in his brain, like it was some kind of nightmare that will never stop.

"Sick?" he asked me, not convinced and having me hear a hint of agitation in his voice. I cringed, trying to find the right words to tell him in this kind of conversation.

"To be fair it's no cold or flu," I commented back to him, "It's….Acute Epilepsy." Eugene breathed out slowly, drinking in the term in his own brain as I just sat there, hands folded on my lap and just watching his face. It was like he was hit by a bus, or that he saw someone get hit by a bus: Shock.

"How….how long have you had it?" Eugene asked me softly, still shocked from what I told him.

"Since I was born." I calmly replied without a hitch.

"You were born with it?" He asked me, confused and raising an eyebrow to it.

"No, I developed it after I was born," I explained, "I had a lack of oxygen and they thought I wasn't going to make it. But I did, and that's how I got it." Eugene leaned back a bit, still drinking it all in and trying so hard not to yell at me. I could tell he was trying since both of his hands in his own lap were now clutching each other like a death grip. I just breathed out slowly, not wanting to loose my own cool.

"So what is it? It's…just seizures?" He asked me, no voice was no longer soft but with a hint of anger behind it. I didn't know what angered him, the fact that I didn't say anything about it to him before or that fact that he had to see me suffer in pain for a few seconds.

"That's all it is, Eugene. I get seizures when I don't take my medication or when my body is under some kind of stress." I explained to him, still calm about the situation since it would be worse if we were both angry with one another. I had to be calm, for both of our sakes.

"What do you mean some kind of stress? When you get a headache? Or when there's too much going on? Is that when you have a seizure and almost die?" Eugene asked me, his anger was slowly coming out, having me shift on the trunk.

"The only time I ever got close to dying from this was when I was 6 years old," I answered him, seeing him watch me carefully now but the anger was still on his face from hear this now, "I was having the worst seizure then, not being able to breathe and I lost so much blood from the nosebleed. I had to be in the hospital for a couple of days after my incident." Eugene sighed, looking down at his hands, not saying a word for a moment or two as I just waited for him to say anything to me. I waited for him to even do anything: be mad, be concerned, be sad, anything at all.

"Please say something." I said softly in a pleading tone, since hearing nothing from him was already too much to bear. He looked back up at the scene in front of us, not at me anymore which was also killing me and making me feel more isolated.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Jemima," Eugene said plainly, "I just found out that you get seizures….and that scares me. It really scares me."

"It scares me too, along with Joe," I added to his statement, "But I can handle them on my own, please know that."

"What if one of these times it's something out of your control?" Eugene asked me, now looking at me square in the eye and having me see that he was mad at me about the situation.

"It won't." I reassured him, but he shook his head.

"I don't like that answer. I want to know what's going to happen to you if you don't have control anymore." Eugene demanded me softly, though I could tell this was killing him now from the inside out. I paused, trying to find the right way to say what I wanted to tell him and not be a bitch.

"Honestly, I don't know what's going to happen to me, Eugene. I've been trying to find out that same question for years now, which is why I went into medicine in the first place," I explained out loud, "I don't think I will ever know the answer, Eugene. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop living." Eugene paused again, looked back in front of him and no longer at me, taking in a deep but shaky breath before speaking again.

"Has anyone ever died from….Epilepsy?" Eugene paused before using the word, having me close my eyes briefly from hearing the hurt in his voice and the sadness there too. He wanted to know if I was going to die if that was a possibility in the near future that I was going to die from the disease.

"There have been cases, from what I read in the library," I replied back to him, seeing him close his eyes and shove his hands in his jacket pockets, "But it's more common than you think. Not every with Epilepsy dies from it."

"But you could." Eugene replied back shortly, having me eye him suspiciously now from my spot on the tree trunk.

"Do you really think I'm going to die from this?" I asked him in confusion, thinking he had little faith in me and my fight against this.

"Yeah, I do. Especially out here when we're fighting this war." Eugene replied back within an instant, looking right at me with a colder stare that was showing how much this was affecting him from the inside out. I said nothing, feeling a bit bad that I was putting him through this with the thought of me being defeated by this condition. I looked away from him, feeling a bit out of place once again and just closing my eyes once more, a tear or two was threatening to leave my eyes from what I was feeling with this conversation with Eugene. He thought my fate here in the war was fatal, though I was more optimistic.

"I'm sorry I burdened you with this," I whispered to him softly, the small ounce of depression settling me since I knew I made him angry with me, "I never meant to keep that from you, Eugene. I'm just….I didn't want you to see me as broken."

"Broken." Eugene repeated though my eyes were still closed and I was trying so hard no to cry.

"I'm a fuckin' freak of nature. I can't keep my own brain in check because of my seizures and it hurts sometimes, but I just want to be normal and not be seen as someone's burden or someone's baggage—" I was cut off by my ranting on how pathetic I was with Eugene leaning over, framing my face in his hands and kissing me a bit harder than he would. My mind went blank, and my eyes were seeing so many colors as he kissed there in the open of the forest, silencing me and telling me to stop. This kiss wasn't like the others we shared, nor was it something that I was expecting. It wasn't lustful, but it wasn't careful. He was trying to tell me something in the kiss, trying to communicate with me without speaking. Eugene planted one smaller kiss against my lips, as if sealing it.

He finally pulled away after holding in for mere moments, though it felt like forever. But when he pulled away, he stayed so close to me, still framing my face with his cold hands and our nose touching. My was still lost in my now breath from that intense kiss and my eyes scanned his own to see what he was trying to do.

"You are not broken, Jemima, " He explained to me like proclamation, now his tone was more loving and less angry from what I told him, "I never saw you as broken, or even a burden. You're much more than that to me."

"Okay." I simply replied, since nothing else was really coming to my head as a reply to him. He grinned slightly at me, still close and having me feel his breath against my lips and I smiled back at him, reaching up to touch his wrists with my own hands to make sure that this was real.

"I'm just scared that you're going to get hurt now." He explained more carefully, having me shake my head with his hands following my head shaking.

"I'm not a delicate flower to protect, Eugene. Trust me." I reassured him in a small grin.

"But it still scares me, that you can't have control with this sometimes," Eugene confessed, having me watch him carefully as he took in all that was happening between us, "Is it too much to ask for you to try and not get yourself killed because of this?" I grinned at him leaning towards him to place one more kiss against his lips, feeling him kiss me back briefly and then pull away again. I then resting our foreheads together and breathing out slowly before answering him.

"Not at all."

* * *

><p>I watched with careful eyes the after effects of the recent attack on our men. They were huddling together around a fire, all of them worn out and on the verge of pure anger since they were defeated by an ambush of German assault. Eugene and I were told to stay behind, since that day Eugene got more supplies from the main Aid Station that we had and was giving the men the extra things that they needed in order to survive. But now they were in the depression again, since we lost Julian whom was a replacement and hardly saw any kind of action. It affected Babe the most, having me see that darkness of the grief coming over him and being everywhere on his face. Eugene looked concerned for him, though he too was feeling just as bad about Julian as the rest of the men were. Eugene and I sat on the sidelines, watching the men as Babe was coughing hard again, death was still on his face along with hatred and pain.<p>

"Jem." I was called out to, having me look over and see Winters coming over to me, trying to keep himself warm and looking just a crappy about the loss of Julian as the rest of us.

"I have some news for you, regarding your condition." Winters said carefully, since he knew that Eugene was right there. He had no idea Eugene already discovered my Epilepsy and I just stared at him, not longer wanting to smile since there was no ounce of optimism in me because of the situation.

"Eugene already knows, sir." I explained to him cooly, Winters looking over at Eugene to see if this was true and Eugene nodded his head.

"Well, in that case, I requested to have some other Combat Medics who are closer to a local hospital to find any supplies and medication that can help and ease your condition." Winters explained to me though I only nodded my head.

"Thank you, sir." I replied back to them. Although I was happy that he was trying to get me more medicine, I was still sad along with the rest of the men that we lost another one of our men, though Eugene and I could not do a thing to help him and save him. Once Winters walked away from us to sit with the men around the small fire, Eugene and I sat in a comfortable silence again and I was hoping to find some kind of silver lining in this horrible place. We all wanted to get out of there, no longer wanting anything to do with the place that was bringing use too much grief and pain. I did too, more than anything.

But we were beyond far from leaving.

* * *

><p>The morning was upon us, another day there in that frozen fortress of a place when we were all watching the line in front of us, hearing something coming in a low grumble and was slowly making its way over to us through the tall line of trees. I was staying low in my spot near some of the men on the left, Eugene was to my right side about twenty feet away from me, watching as well with intense eyes. We had no idea what was going on or what was going to happen, but it was coming and it felt deadly.<p>

"Hey, Doc. It's gonna get busy pal." Lipton said to Eugene as he ran past him over to his own spot for the battle, "Hold your fire, boys. Don't let them draw you out."

"What in the hell are we gonna hit those things with, Lip?!" One soldier asked in annoyance and in fear.

"Hold your fire. Get ready, Walter!" He replied, though my eyes were on the vast machines that were coming through the trees and over to us, the German men behind them and my heart rate was accelerating and making it harder for me to concentrate and breathe. I had to stay calm since nothing was happening yet. But that was short-lived when I saw Smokey, whom was close enough to me for me to see his face behind the machine gun that was propped against his foxhole, get shot and lean back in a grunt.

"Smokey's hit! MEDIC!" someone screamed, having me bolt over there as the gunshots were starting to fire from the enemy line. I reached him within seconds, seeing the blood coming out of him as I was trying to figure out what to do with him.

"Eugene, help me! We need to get him out of here!" I screamed at him as Alley and Spina were coming my way, Eugene right behind them. Smokey was trying to blink a few times, but he was losing it and was not doing so well. I framed his face in my hands, seeing that he was freezing and going white.

"He needs plasma, his legs aren't responding," I explained to Eugene over the gunfire as I then focused on Smokey in front of me, "Come on, Smokey." I urged him, seeing him nod off as both Spina and Alley pulled him out by his straps onto the floor, away from the others and I followed. I grabbed my satchel flap and threw it open as Eugene was getting Smokey ready for his own handy work.

"I can't feel my legs." He said in a hoarse tone as Eugene called for his satchel for the plasma. He called Alley and Spina away to go back to the battle as we worked on him.

"Lift him up." I said to Eugene, having me see him prop him in a sitting position and I held his body against my own as he got the bandage on his wound quickly. Bullets were flying around us, though for some reason, we weren't being shot at and nothing was touching us. The others were still shooting left and right, but I was trying to keep Smokey awake.

"Wake up, Smokey. Stay awake for me, please." I said to him though it was not working.

"Sergeant Lipton!" Eugene called out in a scream, Lipton coming over in a fast rate as we were finishing up with him and more bullets were coming our way. Now it was a matter of minutes if we were going to save him.

"Doc, we gotta get the hell outta here!" Lipton said to Eugene as we unfinished patching him up, Eugene nodded, but still worked on him as the heavy fire was getting heavier. I even ducked from feeling the force of a couple of bullets around me go by within an instant. This was not safe, not one bit as Lipton was trying to keep Smokey awake.

"Hey, hey, come on. Stay with us, Smokey! Stay with us! Doc, we need to get the hell outta here!" Lipton screamed now as the two of them grabbed his straps and started to pull. I was about to join them, but Lipton threw up his hand to stop me. I froze in my tracks, seeing him give me a stern look as he was still holding Smokey up by his jacket and straps.

"Stay here with the men. They need a medic here." He ordered, having me nod my head and watch in horror as they were dragging him away from the battle. I watched in pain as Eugene was giving me a look of concern too, not wanting me to stay behind with the gunfire but wanting me safe. I felt bad for not helping as much as I could, but someone else called out to me.

"MEDIC!" It was Joe, and that made me panic. He need help, he got hurt, and that made me go into protective sister mode. I ran as fast as I could, dodging anything that was firing at me as I shot across the snowy field and towards my brother, who was clutching his shoulder and blood was coming out quick.

"Joe!" I called out to him, grabbing him gently and seeing the pain on his face as I pulled out the bandage that I had left to give it to him. He moved his hand carefully, tainted crimson as I got the piece of bandage for his shoulder, getting it ready as more and more bullets were coming our way. Joe used his other hand to shoot the gun and his bad arm to just harness the gun. I smeared the blood off, first putting the powder on and then getting the white bandage on there. Joe grunted in pain slightly, though he kept moving and shooting.

"Hold still dammit." I cursed at him as he was still shooting his gun, though the pain was on his face. He then shoved me behind him, a bullet almost hitting me a second later. He was trying to protect me from getting shot, going back to shooting with the intense look in his eyes.

"I'm working here." He replied in a gruff as I finished, moving away from him and seeing him shoot down at least three Germans. He sighed, looking over at me and giving me a small smile.

"Thanks, Jemmie." He replied in a relieved tone. I shrugged my shoulders.

"You got it."

* * *

><p>That night was the hardest since it was the coldest. After taking care of Joe and his shoulder, I helped out with the rest of the battle and we were then thanked by Colonel Sink who came to us in congrats from the battle. We were all waiting for food, freezing our asses off and just giving him small smiles as he came in on his high horse. Eugene was back too, telling me that they were taking care of Smokey. But once again he was out of it, and I sat next to him as the rest of the men ate. Babe got the both of us food, though we didn't move. When Colonel Sink explained to us what say it was, it was both soothing and terrifying, because it made me realize: it was Christmas.<p>

I had no idea, since the days were getting by me like a breath in the air. Christmas would be a nice time for me, but nowadays it was just another day that I was alive and not sick or having a seizure. I should be thankful for that, but then again I wasn't.

I was walking over to my foxhole to get some sleep, hearing the sounds of the Germans singing Silent Night in German. When I reached my foxhole, my body was beyond cold and bitter as I threw open the flap and hopped in. I was in darkness again, but I could make out something in the middle of my foxhole. I peered down to look closer since my own eyesight was bad enough. It was a blanket, one of the army ones that was folded nicely in the middle of the foxhole. But on top of it were two more items that made me loose my breath and smile widely. There was a pair of gloves, and one more book to add to my collection: _Physician's Handbook_. There was a note on top of the piles of presents, well it seemed like presents to me, and I opened it, seeing nice handwriting on top:

_You looked like you needed a pick-me-up. _

_Books and gloves are on the house, the blanket's a present from your brother. _

_Merry Christmas,_

_Winters._

I grinned, reading the note and then feeling a bit better that Winters was now looking out for me, not seeing me as another thing on his laundry list to take care of with annoyance. I arranged myself there in the foxhole: wrapping myself in the blanket and then holding the book my hands like it was a rare jewel. I was just glad that I had something else to read, even if it was a medical book. I could research some more on the brain and see what there was when it came to Epilepsy. I could start reading it now, but then again I was too damn tired to do it.

My foxhole opened again, having me look up and see someone hop in. I knew who it was, and I didn't have to call out to see who it was. Because they instantly closed the flap and then sit down right next to me. I draped the blanket over him, feeling him wrap an arm around me and pull me close. The warmth was coming over me again and I saw him pull something out of his satchel, handing it to me and having me see a small smile on his face.

Chocolate.

"Merry Christmas, Jemima." He said to me with his accent that I fell in love with. I took the piece of candy and tasted it. It was like heaven, pure heaven though kissing him was much better and much more fulfilling. I leaned over and kiss him, feeling him pull me closer and kiss me right back, his kisses mixed with chocolate was now making me high in the holiday night. We pulled away and snuggled close to one another as I replied back to him.

"Merry Christmas, Eugene."


	20. Chapter 20

"You need a hand?" I asked at the men, seeing some of the boys below me digging into the earth with another burst of snow falling over us. We moved away now from Bastogne, no longer in that kind of hell and in another hell: Foye. We were outside a small town that was occupied with Germans who were waiting for us to make a move. Christmas came and went and we were about to go into January of 1945, though it still felt like we were at a standstill within a moment in time. War felt like a standstill like we were frozen and not moving forward, only stuck in one place. This was the same: snow and cold surrounding us, the mere quiet that would haunt us both day and night, and our thoughts playing records to taunt us. We needed moral, we needed faith again.

"No thanks, Jem. We got this." Muck replied to me in a huff, shoveling into the dirt and grunting throughout the process. He was shoveling with Popeye, and I saw some of the other men were shoveling too in order to get their holes ready for anything that was coming our way.

"Bullshit ya do." I replied back to him hopping down to grab the spare shovel and start helping them dig. Both Muck and Popeye watched me as I did this, digging with my arms both to keep myself warm and to show moral to the men. The cold was getting to them, tenfold and it was seen clearly on their faces and how they spoke. Mostly about Dike, to the lack of Dike, in the Company since he was hardly around and nowhere to be found when he would leave on long walks.

"No need to try and be one up with us, Jem." Popeye commented in a smirk though I grinned from hearing him joke with me as I dug a few more feet into the earth before looking back at the both of them.

"Don't act like you don't like what you see." I said in a coy tone to him, hearing both of the men chuckle as I placed the shoved back on the dirt above them.

"Way to be a tease there, too." Muck commented back to me as I got up from the foxhole that they were in, smoothing out my jacket that I was wearing and just winked that the both of them.

"Let me know if you need any kind of help, since clearly I can out shovel the both of you combined." I commented though they waved me off and I walked away in a smirk on my face. It was colder here for some reason, and darker since we were in more cover from the trees. The rest of the men were talking together, mostly about how Dike was nowhere to be found with the rest of the men. They asked where he was and if he was ever going to come back. I could see some of them trying to find him and bring the Company together more, and the one who did it was most of Lipton. He was acting more like the moral leader of our Company, keeping the men together and their spirits up. But it was only so much until a person can get angry with the situation.

Out of the blue there was a popping of a gun going off once, everyone around me shooting to the floor and looking around in worry that someone was about to shoot at us. I was nowhere near a hole, so I was out in the open when I heard someone to my left call out to me.

"Jemmie, get in here!" Joe called out to me in a huff, having me crawl and run at the same time over to his foxhole and roll in, looking out and seeing where the shot was forest at. No one moved from their holes, looking around in both panic and confusion as to where the gunshot came from.

"Where did it come from?" I asked Joe under my breath as he was looking with his gun out against the dirt, his brown eyes were scanning the area quickly.

"No idea, but it ain't no sniper." Joe replied back, though I stayed still for a moment. It after a few moments when we heard someone cry, "Medic!" I was about to get up when Joe grabbed my jacket, pushing me back down next to him in the foxhole and having me glare at him now in wonder and confusion. Why was he keeping me here when come one needed me.

"Look." He whispered to me, pointing with his head over to the spot where he was looking. I looked too, having me see Eugene already running over to the call for help with his hand on his satchel and the other holding his helmet to make sure it didn't fall off. I watched with my own eyes as he was off into the darkness of the forest, sighing in relief that he was taking care of it, and too that he was safe. I leaned back a bit in the foxhole as Joe eyes me carefully from next to me, lowering his gun and placing it in-between us in the hole.

"So, you two datin' yet?" He asked me casually, leaning against the foxhole at me and folding his arms in front of himself to watch me. I eyed him, mirroring him with his body language and rubbing my gloved fingers together to just do something since this conversation was about to get awkward.

"Wouldn't you like to know, Joe." I commented back, seeing a smirk on his face.

"Oh, come on, Jemmie. I know you two talk all the time." He explained.

"Oh, I talk to a lot of the men here plenty, but that doesn't mean I'm dating anyone of them anytime soon." I replied back in my own cockiness to it.

"You know what I mean, Jemmie. You guys always sneak off to talk to each otter. It's cute, like little teenagers who are in love." Joe said back in a remark, though I said nothing and thought about it more and more. We would sneak off in the snow to just talk, to get things off our chests and to just be together through the chaos of war. Even after our own fight about Eugene knowing about my disability and how it was affecting me, we were on good terms again. Although, for the most part, Eugene would want me to be away from anything stressful and harmful since anything could now set me off. I cared for the boy, I really did, but it was getting to the point where I figured he would want to be place me in a some kind of box where nothing was going to hurt me.

"Yeah well, Winters is already down my back for not telling him about the Epilepsy and I don't want him on my case for another thing." I huffed out at him, rolling my shoulders to get the cold off. Joe gave me a mischievous grin then, though I eyed him in annoyance since he was clearly being the annoying brother at this point.

"So you do admit that you like him." He proclaimed, having me hear him laugh a bit as I rolled my eyes and saw the other men hop up from their holes to move around since it was now nothing to worry about. I got out too, not giving my brother the light of day at this point since he was trying to push my buttons.

"Zip the lip, Joe." I warned him, but he kept laughing as I walked away from him. Now I had my brother to deal with since he was getting on my case with Eugene. I knew how Joe worked with me when it came to other boys liking me, it's always been that way and that's how it was going right now. It annoyed me, though I did the same with him too. We were still kind enough to one another that we would let things happen with the other shifting it around.

When were we going to snap?

* * *

><p>I waited outside the makeshift tent that Nixon, Winters, and Lipton were inside of, though I could hear some of the conversation that was happening. Apparently it was Hobbler that was shot, though it was his own gun on his pocket that went off and got him in the leg, fatally. He ended up dead because the bullet hit the artery, a big mistake since that was an instant death sentence. So now Lipton had to explain it to Winters and Nixon, apparently so since Dike was once again nowhere to be seen.<p>

"Ah, hell, Lip. It wouldn't have made a difference if you had known. Cut that main artery in the leg, that's—that's it." Nixon said inside the tent as I was shuffling around outside, waiting or my turn to go inside and hear what Winters wanted to talk to me about. Luz was walking by, along with Guarnene and they were seeing me outside the tent, walking over with confused looks on their faces. Both of them were growing facial hair at this point, though Guarnene had Luz beat with a beard now on his face and Luz's own hair was growing up to me more floppy than clean cut like before.

"Whatcha doin' outside the tent, Jem?" Guarnene asked me in curiosity, having me look up and see him give me a curious eye.

"Winters wants to talk to me." I replied, seeing my breath hang in the air as he then smirked at me.

"He always wants to talk to you these days. You gettin' in trouble?" He asked in a joking manner.

"You know how I am, Bill. I'm reckless and too crazy to handle." I joked back, Luz giving me his signature grin.

"You are pretty reckless, Jem. I'm surprised that you're still alive by this point in the war." Luz commented back, having me just shake my head from the thought of me being too damn reckless for the whole group to handle.

"I feel _so _much better now." I sarcastically replied back to him.

"Would you prefer I use this voice to tell you how reckless you are, too damn reckless for this Company?" Luz asked, now using his Sobel impersonation on me. I grinned from ear to ear then, since he was trying hard to make me smile and warm up in this bitter cold.

"Well, I was—I was there, sir. Figured it might as well be me." Lipton voice from inside, then coming out of the tent. Luz and Guarnene made eye contact with him, then quickly moving away from the area and Lipton looking over at me. I just smiled at him as he shifted his collar on his jacket.

"Jem, you can come in now." I heard Winters inside, having me immediately move into the tent to not being with Lipton and make it more awkward. Once I was inside, I saw Winters sitting there, shivering in his own peacoat and looking miserable as Nixon was sitting off to the side, not shaking like Winters but also not looking optimistic.

"I'm sorry to hear about Hobbler, sir." I apologized to Winters as I took off my helmet, facing Winters and holding the helmet in front of me.

"It was a hard loss out here for some of the men," Winters commented in a shiver, "But none the less, thank you. I called you here to give you a new assignment."

"New assignment, sir?" I asked him trying to get it right. Did he want to assign me something? Something didn't feel right, yet again nothing felt right anymore. Well, what I was feeling with Eugene was the only thing that was right.

"There's a new Aid Station being set up about a mile or two out East in the forest, away from the town and from the battle lines. Since we moved over here to Foye, we've been having injuries and losses left and right, and Colonel Sink does not want to lose any more men. So I have decided to send you to work at the Aid Station for now, help out with the flow with the injured there and any more that will be coming that way." Winters explained, having me drink it all in. He was sending me away from the men to work at a new Aid Station, which made me think that he was sending me away from the danger. There had to be a real reason behind it?

"Are they lacking any medical workers there, sir?" I asked him, trying to figure out the real reasoning behind why I was being sent away.

"There isn't enough, only barely any Combat medics and nurses there. The combat medics that would be available are still with their Companies and are too occupied to help at the Aid Station." Winters answered me, though I shifted a bit and still felt uneasy for leaving Easy Company.

"Sir, although I know what I'm about to say may be stepping out of line, but is this because of my Epilepsy?" I asked him carefully now, seeing him now eye me, He knew where I was going with this, and he knew I was wondering why he was sending me off the line. This could become something personal, it all depended on his answer as he then took in a deep breath, having me wait for him to tell me the real reason.

"It has some part of it, yes," Winters replied, having me release a shaky breath, "However, I realize that the medics in the Aid Station are not as experienced in working with the severe injuries that are there like you are. Compared to the rest of them, you have the most years under your belt as a nurse, and that is needed the most there." I nodded my head then, although it was still giving a bit of a pain in my heart that he was trying to protect me with my Epilepsy, he water to have me use my real knowledge of medicine at the Aid Station.

"Thank you, sir." I thanked him, giving him a small smile and seeing him eye me from his sitting position and then letting out a shaky breath of his own. I looked at my own boots, feeling another wave of defeat and shame come over me like a wave.

"Look, Jem, I know that it looks like I punishing you for this," Winters explained in a calmer tone, having me look up at him from looking down at my own boots in defeat, "But I do want to look out for you and what could happen to you. There is medicine for you there at the Aid Station, medicine that you can use. It's far too much for you to be out here with what you have." I then knew where he was coming from. He not only gave me the book on Christmas, but he was trying to get me to medicine for the Epilepsy and away from anything stressful. How could I be angry with him now? He was a good leader, trying to look out for me and make sure that I would live another day. There was nothing else to be said to question.

I was leaving the line.

* * *

><p>"Get him one some more of his IV and the morphine for the pain," I instructed the replacement combat medic who was watching me work on the recent soldier that was brought into the tent with a busted kneecap, "As soon as you give him the morphine, we will get him cleared for departure back stateside."<p>

"Yes, ma'am." He replied, going to work as I moved away from the solider and looking over my shoulder. The Aid Station was a huge tent that was still in the forest, about two miles east from the line that I was taken off of. There was four rows of cots, all of them were occupied by soldiers who were being sent back to America or somewhere else that was not there in Foye. We only had so many medics there, and the conditions of the bitter winter were making it hard for us to work with since we needed heat for some of the men to survive the night. But we were getting by. At the Aid Station, I had the most experience there, and they were having me clear the most of them out with my own own signature on the paper. I had medicine again, and I was taking it every day. It had to be special ordered, and I had enough to last me a month of two. I kept the medicine in my pocket from then on, never having it leave me sight since it was now my anchor.

I missed the boys already, though I was only here for a couple of hours now and I was already swamped in getting wounded soldiers shifted around and out of the station back to America. The ones I missed the most were giving me an ache in my own heart because I was no longer going to see them every day. Eugene was the worst, since I was no longer seeing him and be able to be close enough to just hold his hand. Was it hurting as much as I was? It must have been, since I remembered seeing the pain on his face when I explained to him the situation. But he just gave me a kiss, reminding me that we were going to be back together again and this was not permanent.

"Come on in, we need more nurses in here anyways." I heard to the main opening outside into the woods. I was walking over to the next wounded man from another Company, who was trying to breathe although his arm was blown clean off. It wasn't until I heard someone call out to me in a familiar voice, having me freeze in my spot.

"Jemima?" I looked up and over within a second, seeing none other than Alice there at the flap of the tent in her own nursing uniform. She looked older but just as beautiful and just as radiant as when we were in training. I smiled widely, walking over in a brisk pace as I then hugged her close, hearing her giggle as she hugged me back.

"You are a sight for sore eyes." I said to her in laughter as we were looking at each other. It seemed like she got taller, though she wore her nurses' outfit real nicely.

"Well, look at you. You're in charge around here?" Alice asked me in wonder and in a giggle. I shrugged my shoulders, looking around me at the chaos in the tent and giving her a small grin.

"I guess so, since I know the most in here when it comes to medicine. Although I'm not surprised, I know I'm pretty good." I joked with her, seeing her grin with her perfect teeth and then fold her hands in front of me.

"Well, I guess I am at your command now." She informed me, having me then nod my head at her and give her a challenging look.

"Let's get to work then."

"Where have you been since D-Day?" I asked Alice as we were both sitting outside the Aid Station on a break since it was going nice and slow on the inside. We both were sitting on top of empty crate boxes that bought more supplies that we needed, our feet dangling and just staring off into the forest that was in front of us, getting a break from snowfall.

"Mostly in France, I had to learn how to speak French while I was over there. Helped out in a couple of the hospitals and then I was transferred over here in another part of a battle." Alice explained as she moved some of her hair from her eyes with her delicate fingers, "Most of the time it's just changing sheets and getting old bandages off and putting on new ones. It's nothing like what you've been going through as a combat medic."

"Yeah, well," I started, taking in a deep breath and shuffling a bit in my peacoat that I got there, "It's nothing that I ever imagined."

"Tell me about it." Alice urged me, clearly wanting to know what I saw and what I was going through. I was quiet for a moment, thinking of what to say to her.

"It's scary. One of the scares things I have ever done in my life. I thought to be a soldier was scary enough, but being a combat medic makes me petrified at night sometimes. If you don't run fast enough, someone could die from bleeding out from the neck, and you have to think on your toes much more than nurses have even done. I never thought I would see death the way that I have with these men here, one minute they're there and the next..they're gone." I explained calmly, though when I said it, it was driving me insane on the inside. It was all true, what I said. This job that I had was far more exhausting and scary, almost proving to be too much once in awhile. It was still a pure miracle that I was still alive and not dead yet, either from being killed in battle or from the Epilepsy.

"I think you're doing a good job, from what I could see." Alice said to me in a gentle manner, having me look back at her and see her give me a soft smile. I missed that smile, since she would give it to me so many times when we were back in training and hearing her giggle also reminded me of home. I have missed her so, having a friend who was not a male was something I really needed these past months.

"Thanks, Alice. I'm glad you're here. Who else am I going to gossip to?" I asked her in a light tone.

"Since when do you gossip, and what do you have gossip about?" she asked me. I just grinned at her, though he read me like a book and then giggled, scooting a bit closer to me.

"Who is it? You have to tell me!" She urged me in urgency and with a teenage like a spirit to her.

"What makes you think that it's a who?" I asked her back, not showing any sign of defeat.

"I can see it all over your face. There is a guy, isn't there? What's his name?" She asked me again, clearly not going to give up on the subject until I told her what she wanted to hear. I just rolled my eyes at her, seeing her still give me the same stare of a teenager waiting for gossip. OI might as well tell her since she was digging her heels in.

"You know him, that's all I'm telling you." I replied back simply, looking back at the forest in front of me. She didn't move, not for a moment until it clicked in her head and she squealed.

"Eugene?!"

Damnit.

* * *

><p>"You got mail, Sergeant." I was working on the leg of another soldier that was about to be sent out to the boat that would take him back to the states. That day was nothing more than hell, since we were getting wounded soldiers left and right from an attack that was happening right out on the line. I was worried about the boys there, since they were going to be hit the hardest. The scout that was there adding out mail came over to me as I was getting the leg on the soldier in front of me patched up and ready for departure. I grabbed the latter, feeling something heavy in the envelope as I move away from the soldier that I finished on. Opening it, I peered inside and saw two chains in there, they are thin enough to be passed as necklaces. I took out the two chains, though the rest of the world was moving around me within seconds I saw that there were two pendants on the two necklaces.<p>

The Star of David.

I smiled slightly, putting one over my head to wear and the other back in the envelope. It must have been a Christmas present from home, something our mother thought we needed whiel we were fighting over her in the war. I knew the second necklace was meant for Joe, having me shove the envelope in my jacket pocket as I heard a bustle of people coming in front the from flap. Looking up, I saw in horror who it was since it made my heart drop and my eyes go wide in fear.

Eugene, and he was helping carry in Guarnene on a stretcher.

"Over here." I said to him as he was bringing in Guarnene with another soldier. They were bringing him in, though others were rushing back and forth to aid to the newly broken soldiers. Eugene and the others got him on a cot, having me look at Guarnene who was in more pain that imaginable.

"Hey buddy," I said to him in a soothing tone, seeing him look up at me,"Let's take a look at you." I peered down at his leg, having me loose my breath and freeze. There was no leg, it was blown off clean and it made me almost loose my own tone of voice as Guarnene spoke up.

"I know it's bad," he grunted out through gritted teeth, having me look back up at him and see him look right at me with a hint of glimmer back on his face, "But give it to me straight: am I going to loose the leg?" I reached over and grabbed his hand, feeling him clutch it tightly in my own.

"I can't save the leg," I said to him honestly, but I smiled at him, "But I am told that girls go for the one-legged men. They think it's sexy." After I said that I winked, seeing him crack a grin at me as Alice walked over.

"What can I do, Jemima?" She asked me, having me look at both her at Eugene. He was waiting for me to do something for Bill, anything that would help him.

"Get him prepped for an IV and morphine, along with some more dressing on the leg and ready for departure on the next jeep that's leaving in a few minutes." I explained to her calmly, seeing her nod her head earnestly as I looked back at Bill.

"Alice is going to take care of ya, Bill. You're in great hands, okay?" I asked him, seeing him nod his head and grin at me.

"Thanks a million, Jem. You better say goodbye to me before I go." He reminded me, having me nod my head and kiss his hand as I looked to Eugene now, Alice not taking care of his leg and getting to work.

"Anyone else?" I asked him in worry. He was about to answer when the flapped open again and we both looked. I cringed, seeing Joy Toye, having no leg like Bill, but he was screaming and was crying now as he was brought in on his own stretcher. I placed a hand over my mouth, since two of my friends just lost one of their legs and were no leaving us forever. This was too much for me, far too much.

"Holy shit." I gasped out, moving over to Eugene now in pain as Toye was being place on his own cot, "What is going on out there, Eugene?"

"We're getting hit hard." He merely replied as I watched with my eyes Toye being taking care of to by another medic. It still pained me, knowing that they were going to be sent home and no longer here with us. I never wanted this much pain for them, losing a leg and then having to rearrange their lives. I looked back at Eugene, seeing him give me a reassuring smile that it was going to be okay.

"Roe! Come on, Doc, we need to get back to the line!" A soldier called out to him by the opening flap. Eugene and I looked, Eugene starting to walk over and having me follow him. I didn't want him to go out there, since the same thing that happen to both Bill and Joe would happen to him too, if not then worse. As we approached the open flap, the jeep that were ready for Eugene as he then looked back over at me.

"You going to be okay here?" He asked me carefully, though I shook my head from the mere question.

"I should be asking you the same." I reminded him, watching as he was giving me a look of grimace.

"Doc, we have to leave now!" The soldier called out again, Eugene was about to head over and I grabbed his sleeve. He looked back at me as I fished out the envelope with Joe's necklace and handed it to him.

"Give this to Joe for me, will you? It's from home." I said to me, seeing him take it and place it in his own pocket. I looked around, seeing no one was looking, and I snuck in a kiss on his cheek before moving away from him so that it would be not worse for the both of us. He moved away from me too, back to the jeep. But as he got in, he looked at me one more time as I waited by the opening. He smiled at me as they were driving away, having me smile back.

I failed to realize that this would be the last time I would see Eugene in a long time.

* * *

><p>That night, in the cool darkness of the January evening, I took a step outside of the tent since I needed to breathe. The rest of the day was beyond hectic and busy for me, since more and more men were coming in and I had to help them through all the pains and lost limbs and fingers. Once I said goodbye to Toye and Bill, they were sent off and away from the area with the rest of the severely wounded. The only ones left were the ones that were asleep that were minor enough to leave in the morning. Everyone else was resting in the tent as I was trying to crack my back and get some fresh air in the dead of night.<p>

"Heya Jem." I looked over to my left, seeing someone walk over from the left where the road to the line was. It was Popeye, and he grinned at me from walking in the snowy darkness.

"Since when is it okay that you walk alone here?" I asked him in wonder as he pointing behind him.

"I'm not alone." He explained simply, having me peer over his shoulder and seeing Luz walking up in a brisk walk, hands in his pockets and gruff look on his face.

"He wanted to come by to see how you were doing, and Winters wouldn't let him walk by himself and asked me to join him. Since apparently he needed someone to hold his hand." Popeye replied in his cocky grin though Luz rolled his eyes from his explanation.

"Don't be a dick, Popeye," Luz said as they both approached me and he grinned at me, "Just checking up on you. Joe got his envelope and he says thanks."

"Thanks for the message, Luz." I thanked him, seeing him look behind me at the Aid Station and then point with his finger.

"How are you liking working here and not being on the line?" He asked me in amusement.

"It's hectic, but Winter's would rather have me here than out there." I explained to him, seeing him give me a smug look on his face.

"Looks nice, though I doubt it's nothing like us boys. We do miss your cockiness." Luz confessed in a mocking tone, having me giggle and then hear something go off in the far distance. The three of us stopped in our tracks and looked around, hearing it again. It almost sounded like a cannon, and we all froze. Something was off, and we were about to get into serious trouble.

"Boys," I called out to the both of them, hearing it once more as they looked over at me though my eyes were on the sky above us, "Get in the tent. Now."

"You don't need to tell me twice." Popeye said in a gruff as the three of us were about to head to the tent when it happened. The tent was hit by an explosion, bursting into flames as the three of us were shaking to the core, frozen in front of the part of the tent that was now in flames. This could not be happening, it was more like a nightmare than reality. But it was, and it made me feel the first trickle of blood from my nose touch my lips. I was about to run towards the tent, since there were people in there including Alice but Luz wrapped an arm around me to pull me back. I thrashed against him, but he was stronger then since I wanted to save who was in here.

"NO!" I screamed, another explosion happening and it was on the other part of the tent again.

"We need to find a foxhole! Now!" Popeye said to the both of us as the three of us ran off from the area. I found the first foxhole that was closest to me, though my nosebleed was happening and I had to ride it out in there. As soon as I was in the foxhole, another explosion happened over me and I screamed, feeling my boded being pushed side to side by the force as a tree fell right over me. My face was torn up, my side was bursting in pain and my mind was now blank as blood was all over me now.

All I saw, as darkness, and I breathed out before closing my eyes.

Death called my name, at least that's what it felt like.


	21. Chapter 21

**Eugene's POV**

That was the worst one yet, that night we are being lit up left and right from the gunfire and assault that was being laid on us. It came out of nowhere, without any warning whatsoever. No one was hurt, thank goodness, but it was still something that shook us all to the core. This was not good for us since we thought we were going to catch a breath, finally. I was just shivering in my own combat uniform, holding my satchel in my hands as the early mooring, though still dark, was creeping over us in the aftermath of the assault.

"Christ, what in the hell was that?" Christenson asked from his spot next to Webb and a couple of the other men, trying to get their own bearings together as I stood by myself, drinking it all in. I was still cold beyond the common temperature for cold, my own hands were still shaking from the freezing wind that was coming over us. Were we the only ones that were hit? What about other Companies that were close by? No one knew how we were going to get past this, but I could see Winters talking to Dike about getting ready to go out and take out the town since now had no choice.

I then thought about Jemima, how lucky she was that she wasn't hit by the assault that we just went through. It was another sigh of relief on my own lips, since she was not at risk of getting her condition worse. Ever since she told me she had Epilepsy, I was more concerned for her and how she would handle herself out in the battlefield and on the line. She was stubborn enough to not ask for help, that much for certain, but she was good enough to know when to quit and when to lay low in order to not overdue it. But if there was one thing that I knew would be her demon, to pull her away from me and others who cared for her, it was her pride.

Damn her pride.

I knew she had it, from the moment I saw her in the field after we had our practice jump from the planes, seeing her twitch in the tall grass and then try to hide it while she gathered her parachute in her arms. I should have known then that something was up with her, though I was too blind and too head over heels for her to realize what was tainting her soul from being touched by others. She was afraid to be seen as a burden, when I knew for a solid that no one in our Company saw her as a burden. It must have been hard for her, being the only female in our group of guys and try to fend for herself.

I didn't even think of myself falling for her since she was so far out of my own league of what I was looking for in women. She came out of nowhere, like a breath of fresh air in the summers of Louisiana. Jemima was feisty, terrifying to stare at for far too long since her brown eyes were brighter when she smiled, memorizing to listen to when she would crack a joke or a story with me, soothing to be next to when she read from her books to have me go to sleep.

There was no real reason that I wanted to hear her read, but ever since I heard her read aloud and even noticed that she liked books, I thought of any way I could help her read some more. We were all told to give away some of our own lives when we went into the war, and I would think for her, it was her love for reading. We all missing doing things we used to do, it was sailing for me, and it was reading for Jemima. So just to hear her read, how her words flowed over the pages and the words on the pages there sounded like plenty of things in my mind: rainfall on a tin roof in the warm summer nights, the cool bayou in the autumn mornings, and even zydeco music in the spring afternoons with festivals. she was all those things to me, and that's made it somewhat easy for me to fall for her.

But there was still the disbelief that she would like me back. I had no real chance with her, not even close since she seemed so far ahead of me when it came to having guts and having the balls to say what was on her mind. I admit I'm timid compared to her, not saying the first thing that pops in my head when it comes, or even having some cockiness in me like Jemima does. But we complimented each other, almost like a balance of two forces who are so opposite that they must move alongside one another in order to find peace. That was Jemima and I: two sides that are so different yet we fit together so well it scares me. As soon as she smiled at me, the first time I saw her in the medical cabin, I never wanted to let her go.

I was stuck on Jemima Liebgott.

It got worse when we would hold hands, how perfect it felt just to hold her hand was like I was hearing Zydeco music for the first time: mind blowing. And now, her kisses were the single most addicting thing I could ever do in this life, far more addicting than any drug or drink. I wouldn't care if I drank again, as long as I could kiss her I would be on my own high. Her lips were meant for me, that's how good it felt and that's what I thought all the time.

She brought a boldness out of me, no longer timid or scared to be vocal on what haunts me or scares me. Jemima was confident enough in me that I was a good medic, one of the best ones. I never saw myself as that, only someone who was just trying to survive and just be good enough. Jemima was the best at medicine, reckless to save each should that she encountered end protect them. That's another thing I saw about her: her sense of morals. She didn't see ally or enemy, she saw humans who all had a right to live. Who could blame her for that?

"Sir, we have a problem." Welsh said to Winters, bringing my mind back to the present. Although I stayed a bit away from the group of them talking, I kept my eyes on them to see what was going on.

"Hey, Doc. You alright?" Babe asked me as he jogged over to me, huffing as he came close to me as we were standing shoulder to shoulder now.

"Yeah, I'm good. You okay, Babe?" I asked him back, looking away from the group talking together to Babe. He looked like he got out fine, though he looked a bit scrapped up here and there on his face. He only gave me a small smile, looking back at Welsh, Winters, Dike, Lipton and Nixon talking together about the next plan of attack on the town.

"Eh, I'll live. Whatcha thinkin' we're gonna do now?" He asked me, motioning to the men who were talking together. From what I was seeing, something was going on that was now good, and it was making me a bit nervous. I just shook my head.

"No idea." I merely replied as Winters was now looking at Welsh in disbelief.

"You're shitting me." He said in a low tone, Welsh shaking his head.

"That's what I was told by the scout from Headquarters. They're telling the other Companies close by." Welsh explained as more men were joining me in to watch that conversation going on, since it was now a spectacle now to see our main leader dumbstruck with whatever he was just told. Bull, Perconte, Malarky, Grant, and Liegbott were all together now with Babe and I. Once Winters looked over at us, i could see something shook him to the core and it made him look at us like he was about to give us the worst news in the world. We all waited though, not moving an inch as he walked over with the rest of the officers and stood in front of us.

"I just got word from Welsh here, that there was an incident that happened." Winters explained calmly, though I could hear in his voice that it was not calm, not to him. I shifted in my spot in the snow, not clearing understanding where he was going with this.

"As of last night, when we were taking our own assault here on the line, the Aid Station three miles east took a heavy hit from the enemy lines." Winters explained, and no one moved nor made a sound. The Aid Station was hit, it as like we were hit once again with a grenade right in front of us and no one dared to move. It was as if we were stuck in a nightmare, and it was sinking over us like we were drowning. That meant….

"As far as we know, there was no known survivors." Winters ended, having me take out a shaky breath and closed my eyes in defeat. This was no real, this was some kind of of sick joke or miscommunication. It couldn't be, not this. Not now.

"According to Welsh, we are missing three of our own since last night, and there is no real known location as to where they are." Winters went on, though I was now shaking in my spot since I knew who one of them was. I could see her face in my mind now, smiling at me and her short brown hair flowing into the wind.

"George Luz, Sergeant Robert Wynn, and Sergeant Jemima Liegbott." Winters said aloud slowly now, having me hear the men shift around. Now it was about to be hell here now.

"Oh shit," Malarky breathed out, like he was punched in the stomach, "Luz…Popeye…Jem…"

"No." Joe behind me said simply, almost like a pleading tone to see if this was real. I opened my eyes then, trying so hard not to loose my own though by running to the area where the station was hit and find her myself. I was trying to hard not to run away from the men, to leave my post as their medic, and find her myself since she was now plaguing my mind like a nightmare. I could see her in my mind, dead and peacefully lying in the snow, her brown hair framing her face and her eyes forever closed her. It killed me.

"Joe, we are going to find her along with Luz and Wynn as soon as we can," Nixon started, but Joe was shaking his head now, still under the impression that she was dead.

"Fuck that. We need to find her now, sir!" He said and his voice was rising in both sadness and anger.

"We are not permitted to go anywhere near there." Winters explained again, all of us looking away from the heated Joe to him now in shock and pure disbelief. Not allowed? Was it cut off by others? Was it still under fire and seen as hostile?

"Not permitted? What does that mean, sir?" Perconte beat us to the punch with the same question we and on our lips. We were all wanting to go there now, I could feel it since I too wanted to find her, but we now couldn't go there?

"Corporal doesn't want anyone near the area since it could still be looked at by the enemy. It's not a safe place for any of our men to go to." Winters explained calmly, but he could see that we were all heated at the moment.

"Bullshit," Joe commented aloud, having me all look at him now as Bull was trying to hold him back, but he moved out of his grasp and stood in front of all of now, pointing to the East with a shaky finger and with a broken tone on his lips, "They are out there and they could be hurt! I wanna go out there and find them and bring them back here! Someone could kill them, those fucking Krauts could get to them! My own damn sister is out there, sir!"

"And you don't think I know that, Liebgott?" Winters asked him in a raised voice, all of us frozen with his new tone that he was using as our leader. He walked up to Joe, eyeing him with his cool leadership eyes and towering over him now to make his point. I would be shitting bricks if I was Joe, but then again I would be heated too since my own sister was missing and could be dead. Joe stayed quiet, but he was still shaking in his spot in front of our leader.

"I know Jemima is out there and she could be hurt from the assault on the tent, along with two of my men that could be hurt too. I am just as worried as you are, believe you me. But we are not allowed anywhere near there until we get the green light. I would give anything to find those three and get them back, but my own hands are tied." He explained in his commanding tone and having me see Joe still stare at him as if he was lying to him. I too was hurting, thinking about a dead Jemima and wanting to find her. I even felt a tear escape my eye and roll down my cheek as it hit the floor as I was still in the daze from the news. Babe looked at me then, worry in his eyes.

"Doc?" He asked, tugging at my sleeve as I took in a deep but shaky breath before I heard Winters speak up again.

"As soon as we get the green light, we are going to go over there and get them back here with us." Winters ordered allowed, though his eyes were still on Joe.

"You mean when they're already dead?" Joe asked in a hoarse tone, having me hear and see within my own imagination that he was crying too. Babe was still holding my jacket as I watched carefully from my own spot.

"Joe, we will find her. I promise you that." Winters said to him calmly, though it was affecting him too. He then looked to the rest of us. We were all still in shock, knowing that three of our own were lost and nowhere to be found, maybe hurt from the assault that happened.

"We still have a job to do, we take the city." Winters explained, having all of us then move from out spots to get our things together. For some reason this made the men want to go to the town and kill the Germans there, because there was a possibility that whatever happened to Luz, Popeye and Jemima had to do with the Germans there in the town. Did they kill them? Did they bring them harm? Made them bleed? I wanted to know, as did everyone else in Easy.

"Come on, Joe. Come on, we'll find her okay?" Bull grabbed Joe gently, pulling him from back and talking to him in reassurance as they were getting their guns ready. I wouldn't want to be Joe right now, since his own sister was missing and might be dead. He was already a hothead, and this new tipped him over the edge now with his own piece of sanity.

"Doc, you okay Doc?" Babe asked me, having me look back at him now and see him scan my face. I was crying, without realizing it, but tears were coming down my cheeks but I was frozen in shock from what I heard. Was she dead? I wanted to find her, god dammit I really did.

"Hey," Babe said softly, having me blink a few time and sniff, "We're gonna to find her, you know that, right? We're gonna find Jem and get her back here."

"I know, I know." I said to him in a shaky manner, seeing him give me a reassuring smile as he moved away from me, getting his gun loaded and ready as I closed my eyes again. I prayed again, for both myself and for Jemima to be alive.

I was in love with someone who everyone thought was dead. I prayed she was alive, so I could tell her.

* * *

><p><strong>Jemima's POV:<strong>

Smoke. That's the only thing I was breathing in. I could feel my lungs trying to work, but it was so hard since it felt like I was stuck somewhere dark. I was on my side against the first floor, somewhere dim and my breathing was wheezing in and out of my mouth. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to move. But I couldn't move, my body was stuck and I had no clue why. Blinking, my vision came back to me in a few moments, having me see that I was still in my foxhole. However, something felt off, not right and not even close to normal.

I was hurt.

I coughed, the pain in my side was tearing through me and my shoulder felt like it was on fire. I tried to move, but I fired out slightly from the pain there in my shoulder blade. It sunk into my brain: my right shoulder was dislocated. Gently, I grabbed my arm to harness it since couldn't push it back in, not now. But even sitting up was a bitch, since my whole side was moist and in so much pain and I started to have tears. Peering down, I was shaking from what I was seeing.

Blood, it was everywhere on my side and I could tell it was beyond any kind of mending from my own satchel. My own face felt scarred up and moist too from blood, having it hard to move my face around a bit as I looked down at my legs. They were fine too, having me wiggle the feet to know that I wasn't paralyzed.

What was I going to do? Where was I again? My mind was shot to hell since I jumped in the foxhole, the Aid Station was long gone. Oh god, where was Luz and Popeye? Were they alive like me? How was I going to get out of this? How long as I out? Was I going to be Easy again?

I looked up, seeing the remains of a tree trunk blocking the opening to the foxhole from me getting out. It was almost like a shield, which made me think that I could be dead if it wasn't for this trunk from shielding me. I reached up with my good hand, the other arm was limp against my lap since my shoulder was out and no longer in use, touching the bark with my fingers and feeling the cool air against my fingers. I was crying then, so glad to be alive and wondering if I was going to make it out of the foxhole then.

There was nothing to hear then, only the wind coming through and the pines in the trees shifting. Was this going to be my tomb? Stuck here with no one to help me? But no, since there was a sound of feet shuffling through the snow slowly, very slowly, near me. I panicked for a second, trying to find my voice though it was far gone from being silent for too long.

"F-flash….flash!" I said in a hoarse whisper, hoping it was someone that I knew that I could call out to for help. It could be a German, and I could be signaling them to kill me, but I still took my chances by calling out for an American to help me. I heard nothing at first, but the shuffling of feet walking by me stopped. I tried again.

"Flash." I pushed out with my pathetic excuse of a sad tone, then hearing the feet move around frantically.

"T-thunder, thunder..thunder! Who said that? Thunder!" I heard Luz, having me sigh in relief and look up desperately since he sounded broken. He was alive: Luz was alive.

"Luz…please Luz!" I pleaded softly in a hoarse tone again. Within a moment, the trunk above me was slowly being moved over since it was only half a trunk now, having me squint from the new light that shined into my foxhole. I shielded my eyes with my battered good hand, having me blink rapidly as I then saw the silhouette of my friend and I felt more tears coming down my face.

"Jesus Christ, Jem." He said in a broken tone, probably seeing the condition that I was in and I just watched him from my spot. I had a busted hip and side, my shoulder was popped out, and my face was etched with curves of deep cuts along my eye and jawline. I felt more like Frankenstein then, looking like a monster more than a human. I was just glad I was still alive and breathing.

"Help me, Luz. I can't move." I pleaded with him softly seeing him nod his head as I got a good look at him from my spot in the foxhole. He was scrapped up too, his hand look bloody all over as if it was broken and his hair was caked in blood. Probably a head wound.

"Okay…okay I'm gonna get you outta there. You're gonna be fine, Jemmie. You hang in there, alright?" He asked me, seeing my damaged side and hip and then shuttering. He was afraid that I was going to die, and I would be too. I nodded my head as we both heard another sound from over behind Luz.

"Flash? Anyone?" I gasped out, hearing that it was Popeye.

"Popeye? You alive?" Luz called out, looking in the same direction.

"Yeah, but I can't move a damn bit. Help me out will ya?" Popeye said back in almost a struggle. Luz nodded his head, above to get up when I reached up to him.

"Don't leave me Luz. Please, don't leave me here alone." I pleaded in tears, almost sounding childish. Luz grabbed my hand that was reaching up to him, both of our bloodied hands colliding together. He gave me a reassuring look and a stern stare.

"I'm not leaving you, I promise. I have to get Popeye and get him to come help me get you, okay? You're not going anywhere without me, you hear me?" Luz explained to me in a leadership kind of tone, though it was loving. I nodded my head, seeing him release my hand and leave my sight for a moment or two. I closed my eyes, trying to tell myself that I was alive and I was going to be okay. This was the worst situation that I could be in, but I had Popeye and Luz there to help me. I wanted to be away from here, wherever Eugene was so I can feel safe. Did they know what was going on? Was he freaking out beyond measure? What about Joe? He would be having a heart attack right about now, not knowing if I was alive or not. I wanted to find them again, so badly. But was I even going to make it back? These injuries were beyond repair from what I was feeling, and it would be a miracle if I made it back alive from just moving.

"Grab her straps, but be careful, mind her shoulder and her sides. Okay, easy now, easy!" Luz and Popeye grabbed my straps on my uniform jacket, pulling me out slowly from the foxhole and I squinted in pain from moving my hip and dislocated shoulder. I got out of the foxhole, and as I was pulled out onto the snow, being on my back and looking up at the sky, I felt as though I was slowly morphing into death as my breath was getting shallower by the minute. Luz looking over me, framing my damaged face gently with his fingers and his eyes were showing plenty of fear.

"Keep breathing, Jemima. You're gonna get out of here with us. We're going back to Easy, you hear me?" He asked, thought I was too far gone at that point.

So, this is what death felt like.


	22. Chapter 22

"You have to do it." Luz looked at me in disbelief as I was still on my back, looking up at him and seeing him kneel next to me in the snow and Popeye on his other side, the both of them looking at me in shock. After they pulled me out of the foxhole, we were about to go out and find Easy when I knew I couldn't move until my shoulder was popped back in. I found my satchel again, a bit worn out and broken and covered in the charcoal black, but it was fine none the less. They dressed my side wound as best as they could, with me telling them how to had a bandage on and press in to stop the bleeding. Sure it did practically nothing, but it was better than me bleeding out in the snow and dying quickly.

I have popped in shoulders plenty of times since patients would come in from mere accidents and I would fix them within seconds. But I couldn't this time, I was too wounded with my own injuries on my side and my face. I was in no condition to pop it back in, I was already trying to stay awake and not slip into a coma. So it was up to Luz, who was looking at me like I was joking with him.

"Jem, I can't do this." He said simply, but I shook my head, clutching my wounded arm and giving him a calm stare.

"Yes you can, Luz. I can't move until my shoulder's popped in, and I can't do that on my own right now unless I wanna lose more blood. So you need to pop it in for me." I explained to him once again, but he too shook his head from what I was telling him.

"I've never done something like this," Luz started, running his fingers with his good hand in his hair because of the stress and I could see him shaking, "Christ, what if I hurt you."

"It'll be worse if you don't. You just have to pop it in, nothing more." I reassured him, seeing him about to be in tears. Popeye watched him carefully, sporting a black eye and scratches all over his face and back. His own calf was getting the most damage and he got it wrapped up with the one bandage that we found that was not touched by the fire and the aftermath of the explosion.

"Jem…" Luz trailed off, having me reach over and grab his hand gently with my good one, clutching it tightly in my own and having the both of us stare at each other. I knew where he was coming from, being called to do this to a friend when you have never done it before. He was beyond scared, and he and every right to be. So I just smiled at him, showing him that I wanted him to do this for me since I trusted him enough.

"I have faith in you, Luz. You can do this, okay?" I asked him softly, taking a sharp breath because of the wound on my hip and side was still aching me and making me lose more energy. My vision was going blurry a bit since I was still having the loss of blood over me. Luz nodded his head then, having me smile as he looked at Popeye.

"Prop her up for me." He said to Popeye. He moved back as I was then being sat up by Popeye, whom was in front of me, wrapping his arms around me as Luz moved behind me, facing my back and having me prop my head against Popeye's shoulder. I could feel Luz place his hands against my back near my shoulder that was out of its socket, having me groan out a bit from the uneasy touch it felt and how I had some pain in my body.

"I'm gonna count to three, okay?" Luz asked from behind me, having me nod my head and Popeye clutch me closer since he knew I was going to thrash after the shoulder went back in. I have never had this happen to me before, but I knew in some way how this was going to hurt. So I was somewhat prepared, I think.

"One…" Luz started, grabbing my upper arm and placing his damaged hand on my shoulder gently, "Two…." I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth as he then finished, "Three." He popping it in, having me lurch forward in so much pain that I screamed out loud in both the air and in Popeye's jacket, who was holding me tight to make sure we didn't fall to the snowy ground. The pain was like getting electrocuted, shooting up and down my arm so many times that it was killing me to just breathe and calm down. We were alone in the forest, and I could hear my scream echo off into the forest off the trees and the ground. We were in silence again, as I was being cradled by Popeye just until the pain was lone gone again.

I still wondered if we were going to be with Easy Company again.

* * *

><p>"How you doing back there, Jem?" I was looking at the sky now, but I was on top of a long enough piece of tarp and being dragged and carried by Popeye and Luz as they were carrying be through the snow West, back to where we thought the rest of our Company was. We could heard the popping of guns going off in the distance and gunfire assault, having me worry that it was our men doing that. I still couldn't move, but Luz found the tarp and dragged me onto it. So now Popeye and Luz were walking side by side and dragging me behind them, having me clutch my arm that was still in pain and looking up above me.<p>

"Still…in pain." I grunted out through my teeth, which it was true. I had no morphine to give myself for the pain, so I was feeling all over and it was slowly making me both violently sick and sleepy to when I could no longer keep my own eyes open. My side was in fire, my hip was now numb and I couldn't feel it anymore, and my face was in enough to pain to have me growl out as I moved it every time.

"Hang in there, we're getting close." Popeye reassured me as I then felt bad for the both of them for pulling me while they were both hurt. I then felt like chopped liver, not wanting to have anyone else take care of me. I didn't know if it was that fact that there was something beyond pain that I was feeling, or that I knew death was at my door, but I was losing the sense of hope to keep fighting to breathe.

"You know…I don't want…you to…do this." I gritted out through my teeth.

"You kiddin? You're freaking light as a feather, like your brother." Luz commented in a lighter tone.

"I am not." I argued.

"You weigh nothing. Now quit talking, you need to breathe and rest up your strength." Luz commanded me, but I shook my head at the thought of me trying to make it through the day. What was the point now? I would rather die now and make the pain go away than feel it over and over again as they took more and more steps along the snowy floor and through the forest.

"I'm not worth it." I mumbled in a miserable manner, thinking I only said it to myself. I then felt the tarp no longer moving and I was stuck there, then being lowered to the floor on one side of the tarp and having me wonder what was going on. I didn't move, but I could hear someone walking over to me. Looking up, I saw it was Luz, but I did not like what I was seeing. He looked like I just punched him in the stomach, hard. There was pain there, so much of it that it too made me want to cry from seeing him not be the cocky usual happy self that he once was.

"Don't ever say that again." he stated to me, a broken tone was there as he was staring down at me like he was a predator onto his prey, but it was a soothing look. I just stared right back at him as he took out a shaky breath before talking some more.

"You're part of this Company, our Company. You ran with us up Currahee, and you remember what we said after that?" He asked me, having me think back years ago to training where it all started.

"Three miles up….three miles down." I stated to him, seeing him nod his head one at me.

"Now I don't know about you, but to me that means we look out for one another. You have saved our asses so many times since we jumped in Normandy, and some of us wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for your scrawny ass running out to get us." Luz went on with his rant, though I could tell this was getting to him: hearing me ask to give up and leave me here to die. I hated putting them through this, no longer worrying about myself and now thinking about how this was affecting him.

"You are not going to be left here to die, not when we have men back on the line who are looking for us, looking for you. They need you: Bull, Perconte, Christenson, Lipton, Captain Winters, even Babe for God's sake. And I know for a solid fact that your brother would not want you to give up, not right now. Joe needs you, you know that, right?" Luz asked in a softer tone, no longer angry with my notion got giving up easily and just talking to me as a friend and giving me a spiritual lift. I knew Joe was going crazy right now, not knowing where I was and I nodded my head at him. Luz grabbed my hand tightly once again, like before when I was in the foxhole and afraid he was going to leave me.

"Don't give up on yourself just yet, please?" Luz asked me aloud now in almost a broken whisper, having me see both the effect of the wounds and the cold on him, along what him trying to keep me alive in my own soul. I smiled at him, but it hurt my own face as he grinned at me again. He looked forward up at Popeye.

"Switch me, Popeye. Walk with her and make sure she stays awake, will ya?" Luz said as he them moved away from me and then I could feel the shifting behind me with the tarp. Now Luz was pulling me, as if I was nothing but a mere child with his own strength on him and Popeye was walking with me again. He looked okay from where I was looking, his face was still damaged as well as my own and Luz's face, and he had a limp since his own calf was trying to heal. I breathed in and out, trying to concentrate on getting the pain out of my system. But it was still too much as Luz was pulling me again, having me squint and Popeye grab my hand in his, still walking with me and looking down at me in concern.

"You're doing good, Jem. Come on, keep breathing nice and easy." Popeye reassured me in a soothing manner as I rode out another spasm of pain. I had to get my mind out of it, I had to think of something.

"Popeye…tell me about Kitty. What is she like?." I said to him as we were still trekking through the snow. Popeye was silent for a moment before he spoke up.

"She's gorgeous, Jem. I never saw anyone that beautiful before, trust me. I love her laugh, it makes me think of my own mom's laugh." Popeye explained to me with a grin on his face.

"That's not creepy at all." Luz commented from the front, still pulling me and having me grin from my spot in the tarp.

"Shut it, Luz," Popeye said back to him, then looking down at me as we joined hands, "She loves the spring, mainly seeing the flowers come out in her garden. Man does she love to garden, you should see the one in her backyard. It's filled with all the flowers that she could get her hands on, and she makes it look so easy. I can't even keep one fucking flower alive." Popeye explained to me in a light manner that I could see him go off in a daze just talking about her. He kept talking, trying to keep me awake and just to make himself feel better as we were still walking on. I felt better then, wanting to hear more stories though my own health was failing, but hearing him and how he looked at Kitty made me think of Eugene again.

I had no clue if I was going to see him again, let alone hear his voice, brush my hand against his, or kiss his lips. The one addiction that I was fine with in my life, and he could be gone within seconds because I was not strong enough. I couldn't do that to him, to us. Was there even going to be a future with us on it? I wanted one, so badly I did. He didn't care if I was Jewish, or that I was a hothead by like twin, or that I had a condition that was going to kill me one of these days. He still kissed me like we were young and reckless, held me close under the blanket of the stars at night, touched our fingers like they were meant to be touched, and he still stared, in a way a girl would want to be stared at.

In short, he still wanted me as me.

* * *

><p>I felt the tarp stop then, having me look up and Popeye who was still holding my hand and his look was grave and scary at the same time. I squeezed his hand, trying to get his attention as I lost more of my energy from the trek we were on. It was getting hard to breathe now, and I could tell the color on my face was fading and my eyes were wanting to close so bad and just sink into the bliss of death, but I was still trying so hard to stay awake for my own sake.<p>

"Popeye, what is it?" I asked him in a grave tone, though my own voice was losing its luster. He said nothing and I craned my neck, trying not to move my damaged shoulder and side as I then saw what he was seeing: no one. The foxholes were deserted and the land had no sense elf life there. No one was there, but this was our area on the line. This got me confused, what in the hell was going on?

"Where are they?" Popeye asked aloud in a bit of worry as he looked around too, still holding my hand as Luz carefully lowered the tarp, though I stayed up a bit on my butt and had some strength left to look around. It was bad, real bad. Did they move on without us? How could they? They must have know that we were gone and were missing. I know for a fact that Winters and Lipton, even Nixon, wouldn't leave without known our statuses. What about the rest of the men, would they have wanted to come and find the three of us. I could feel the wave of sadness come over me though breathing out was a task in itself. I needed to get somewhere warm and with medicine, or else I wasn't going to make it within the hour.

I was dying.

"Look!" Luz said to the both of us, all three of us looking to the town on the other side of the snowy field. The same town that I remember seeing so many days before I was reassigned to the Aid station, there was a battle going on there right now. I could hear the gunfire going off, but faintly. It wasn't violent, which made me think that they were wrapping it up and the battle was done. There were no cries in German, which had me again believe that Americans won, which meant.

"That's Easy." I wheezed out, then gasping for air since now I couldn't breathe. My vision was going blurry and my head was no going heavy, having me fall back onto my back again as I was gasping out in pain. This was going to be the end of me, and I could feel my body going into the familiar warmth of death, starting in my toes and fingers and seeping over to my wounds and body.

"Oh shit, Luz. She's not responding!" Popeye said in a pleading voice as I was trying to breathe, but my breath was long gone. Both Popeye and Luz were peering over me now, tapping my face to keep me awake, but all I wanted to do was sleep. My wounds got the best of me now, and I was going to die, this was it.

"3 miles up, 3 miles down!" A shot came from the town, having Popeye and Luz look in amazement and I smiled. We won the town, I knew it from that shout from someone in the battle.

"Popeye, run as fast as your scrawny can and find someone there, anyone, that can help us with Jem!" Luz ordered him, Popeye releasing my hand and I heard him run off as Luz then grabbed my hand in his, replacing the warmth as I was trying to stay awake, but the wounds were killing me from the inside out.

"Come on, Jemmie. You can breathe, I know you can. You keep awake for me, please Jem," Luz pleaded with me, so close to my face to make sure I was watching him, "Think about Eugene, will ya? You're gonna see him soon, I know you will. He'll be so happy to see you and I know you wanna see him, don't ya?" I tried to smile, but it was no use. Luz was trying to hard to get me alert and awake, but I then closed my eyes with the sweet thought of Eugene calling me _Chere_ again and I could hear Luz pleading for me to wake up.

But I didn't.

* * *

><p><strong>Eugene's POV:<strong>

"Here, Doc. Take a drink will ya?" Babe walked over to me as He handed me a canteen, his own as I was sitting against the wall with my arms resting on my knees, looking off in the distance as the men were patrolling the area to make sure we were safe. It was a nasty fight, a really bad once since they had snipers that were going to take us all out, one by one. But thankfully we had Lipton and Spiers, whom both lead us to victory. It was a good victory for us, though my heart and head were on someone else that was frightening me.

"Thanks," I mumbled back to Babe, taking a shaky drink as babe squatted down in front of me. I saw his hand, still wrapped up from some time before in Bastogne, and how he was looking at me in concern in his eyes. But I was thinking about Jemima again and how many hours has it been since I saw her last, since she kissed me on the cheek, since she waved goodbye to me.

"You need me to grab ya anythin'?" He asked me in hopes that I would at least talk. But I shook my head, having me see him give me a look of grimace and then sit down next to me, looking off in the distance as well when the others were all talking about where they are going to sleep that night. I should sleep, I haven't slept in days for more than 4 hours at a time, God did I need it. But I needed Jemima more, happy and alive and next to me, to kiss me and tell me everything is alright, to hold my hand in hers and remind me of home.

"You love her?" I looked over at Babe, seeing him eye me from his spot on the ground. He could read me so well, yet we grew closer as friends in the cold hell that was Bastogne. I said nothing as he gave me a reassuring smile, he knew already that I did. I just shuffled a bit in my spot as Babe looked ahead again.

"I can tell she loves you," He voiced out, no other snide remark heard in his tone as he talked some more,"Hell, I think half of the Company can tell she loves you. You guys seem to…I don't know….make each other happy in this shithole of a situation. Not a lot of guys get that, you know. You're lucky."

"Lucky," I repeated, seeing him watch me since I spoke up again, "How lucky am I when I don't know where she is or if she's still alive?"

"Lucky enough to believe that she _is _still alive out there," Babe replied back within a second after I spoke, "She doesn't give up that easily, Doc. You know that, we all do but you especially. I see how you two butt heads about who can take care of who, and she can take care of herself. Have faith in her, Doc. She's going to come back."

I was about to reply back to him when I heard someone running up and over to me, it was Perconte. He looked frantic, like he did see a ghost of a soldier that already died and it was haunting him. Both Babe and I looked up at him in confusion and worry, since there was no color on his face.

"Doc, you need to come with me, now." He said to me aloud in a gasp, having me hop up from being on the ground.

"Someone hurt, Perconte?" I asked him, thinking there was another injury that I overlooked from one of the men.

"Yeah, you can say that. But you wanna see this." Perconte said to me as Babe hopped up next to me.

"What is it, Frank?" He asked him, shuffling a bit in his jacket to get the cold off of him.

"It's Jem."

* * *

><p>I pushed open the door that was leading me to her, since Frank was leading the way and Babe right behind me. It was dark, but warm since they lit candles there all over the place. I followed him as we were weaving our way through the halls and corridors of the first floor of the crooked building. Every step I was taking, I was getting more and more anxiety in my system from just knowing that she was alive. But the way Frank looked at me made me think that this was bad, real bad. We made it into a smaller room, having me stop and see both Popeye and Luz there, being tended to by Spina and another Combat Medic that was there on the scene.<p>

Popeye's calf was wrapped, propped on another chair and Spina was getting his head checked from the scratches and bruises. Luz was having a head wound, his hair was pushed to the side as the medic was dabbing his head with the medicine and he was squinting through the process. They both were covered in blood and dirt and grime, scratches all over their bodies as they both looked up at me. They didn't look good either, not on their faces. It was as if they knew something about Jemima that they were avoiding telling me. I looked at the both of them, Luz looking grimaced and Popeye avoiding my eyes. God no, please no.

"She's in there, Doc." Luz said calmly, saying nothing more as I then looked at the door he motioned to with his head. I walked over slowly, Babe right behind me as I then opened the door, slowly and hearing how it creaked as I then saw the smaller single room and the table in the middle. A tarp was draped over the top, along with a body which had an army blanket over it and the head shown in the light of the candles inside. I placed my hand over my mouth, trying so hard to breath, but nothing came out.

Jemima.

She was unconscious, her face was looking to the ceiling and she looked like she was in a peaceful sleep. Her face, however, was carved with deep cuts and bruises from whatever happened to her. One curve of a cut was around one eye, starting on the forehead to her cheek, another along her jawline and one on her bottom lip. She was still so beautiful, though the blood and bruise tried to hide it. Her one arm was out on top of the blanket, a plasma already in and getting to work on her with scraps and cuts along her pale skin. I could tell she was still breathing, her chest was rising and lowering slowly.

"Oh Jesus, Jem." Babe said behind me as I walked over to the side of the table, looking down at her and seeing her sleep. I wanted to so badly wake her up so I could see her eyes, but I did nothing. There was nothing to be done, though I wanted to do so many things. It felt like my heart was ripping apart and being put together over and over again. She was too good in my eyes to look so battered, to look like she was in so much pain.

"Where is she?" I heard behind me, looking over my shoulder as both Frank and Babe moved out of the way, Joe coming in with a bounce to his step. He froze that the sight of his twin, his face was no longer warm and filled with color. I saw Frank grab Babe and pull him outside, to leave us with Jemima and the door closed. Joe didn't see me, his eyes were on his sister as he walked over slowly. I could see the sadness and pain in his eyes, his sister on the table and not moving. Tears were there on his face as he then started to sob.

Joe walked over to where Jemima's head was, fell to his knees and rested his head against her own head, crying freely into her hair as I then moved away from them both and towards the door, no longer feeling like I should be there as well. Opening the door, I looked back and I saw him touch her face, crying into her hair and just being there with her. That was my cue to leave, but as soon as I closed the door, I leaned against it and closed my own eyes.

I was releasing the breath I was holding and the tears came down my own face.

* * *

><p>Later that night, after Joe was pulled away from Jemima and forced to go rest in the chapel with the rest of the men who were still trying to get some peace, I snuck away to go back and find Jemima. Popeye and Luz were back with the men, after being taking care of and looked after by Spina, which left me with going to find Jemima and just be next to her. We were told not to leave the chapel, but I had no care at that point to follow orders, I just wanted to be with her in case something was to happen.<p>

She was still out of it as I pulled up a chair to sit next to her, telling the medic who was waiting her that I was going to sit with her for a bit and he could catch a break. He was fine with that, and as I sat there with Jemima in front of me, still breathing in and out slowly, I thought of something to do, anything. I didn't want to touch her, in fear that I would hurt her even more than she was in pain. But then against my leg on the ground, was her battered satchel. Reaching down I grabbed one of the books. It was _The Great Gatsby_, and I opened to the first page, seeing how she already read it at least three times since Webster gave it to her. I looked at her, positioning myself to be near her head so she could hear me as I started to read to her.

"_In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since…."_

I read into the night, hoping that I could bring the same peace that she always gave me when she read.

I hoped.


	23. Chapter 23

**Eugene's POV:**

"_There must have been moments that afternoon when Daisy tumbled short of his dreams — not through her own fault, but because of the colossal vitality of his illusion. It had gone beyond, beyond everything. He had thrown himself into it with a creative passion, adding to it all the time, decking it out with every bright feather that drifted his way. No amount of fire or freshness can challenge what a man will store up in his ghostly heart."_

I paused, looking up briefly to rub my face with my hand in order to stay awake. It was late evening, and Jemima was still out cold from wherever she came from. She slept through the whole day, and into the late night, in which I was trying to both keep my own mind occupied and to stay next to Jemima if she wakes up. We were going to move out to a new village soon, according to Spiers and Lipton, and with that they were going to move her as well. There was even talk about her being moved back to America since her wounds were far too much to handle, though there were still hesitancy for keeping her with us when she woke up.

Her wounds got better since she was brought it the night before, the cuts on her face were getting lighter and less threatening to look at. Even the color was coming back on her face and she was no longer pale. We had a Head Medic that was close by with his Company come by to our area and look at her wounds as she was still out the morning after we found her. He examined her side in private and her face. She suffered from a severe but bearable hip wound and her side was almost ripped apart completely from the explosion. It was stitched up, with us giving her enough pain killers to breathe through. Her shoulder that was once dislocated was healing back to normal, which was good enough for us to move her a bit while she was being examined. The Doctor informed us that she just needed rest and give as much morphine as she can handle in order to get through the pain.

I kept reading to her at night, though I would get time to sleep. Joe was the only other member that would constantly be with her and check up on her from time to time. By this point, we were just keeping the town at bay and having it be nice and quiet. The rest of the men were aware of what Joe and I were doing, and they kept asking us to let them know when she would wake up. For some reason, she had some kind of hold over the men, as if they saw her as a sister with our own company and they too were waiting to see if she was alright. Luz and Popeye were all better, but they were just as concerned for Jemima as Joe and I were.

"Eugene?" I heard from the door, looking up from the book that was in my hand and seeing none other than Winters at the door, which was being held open by Spina who was giving me a reassuring look. I smiled back at Spina, very glad that he was supportive of me staying up at night with Jemima. Winters walked in and the door closed behind him, leaving it to be the two of us there alone in the room.

"Sir." I said back to him in a gruff, folding the page of the part where I was and placing the book on the table near her hand that was out on top of her blanket.

"I came in to check up on you. Joe said you would be in here, how ya doing?" He asked me carefully as he stood next to me, though I didn't move from my spot in my chair. What was I going to say to him? I was petrified that she was not going to wake up, and I missed her so much that I wanted her to wake up so I can hear her voice again?

"I've been fine, sir." I merely replied, since it was such a simple reply for him to take in. He nodded his head, then looking over at Jemima with worry already on his own face. I felt bad for him, as out leader and seeing one of his own soldiers out cold on the table.

"How is she doing?" He asked me in a curious manner, walking over to her a bit and examining her with his own eyes.

"She's still asleep, hasn't woken up yet, sir." I explained to him, shifting in my chair to stretch out my back from being so stiff for so long.

"Well, I'm letting you know that we are going to be moving out in the morning for the next town that we're assigned to, and we are going to take her with us. But I wanted to see when you are going to be able to grab some sleep." Winters explained to me, having me nod my head and understand where he was coming from. I was looking beyond tired with bags under my eyes and refusing to leave her side, other than Joe who too was attached to her in case she woke up. The both of us together were looking like we were only surviving on at least one hour of sleep in a total of two days.

"I was just reading to her, sir." I explained to him carefully, holding up the book for him to see. He raised an eyebrow, not getting where I was coming from.

"Reading to her?" He asked me. I then grabbed her satchel, fishing through it and then grabbing the copy of _Physician's Handbook_ that she had there. I cracked it open once or twice so I can make myself fall asleep. I showed it to him,

"According to this book, sir, people who are in comas can still hear people talking to them. It's a good thing to read to them, it keeps the brainwaves functioning and alert instead of slipping into more of a coma that could kill them." I explained to him carefully, since I did some of my own reading during the day when I wasn't with Jemima. I wanted to figure out how to both keep her alert and to keep my own brain sane from the insanity that it was in. There was a part of me that knew whew as still awake and there within her own mind, and I wanted to talk to her for her to know that I was there, waiting for her to wake up.

"I'm glad that you're taking care of her, but I do want you to rest up for the night, okay? You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of her, understand?" Winters asked me in a small smile, though he was authoritative. I nodded my head, grabbing the book again and opening it back up to the page I was on.

"I will, sir. I just want to read for another five minutes and then I'll head back to my area." I replied back, seeing him give me a grin and I looked back to the book. I didn't hear him move out of the room, but I could see him watch me as I was reading in the same area where I left off and then close the door behind him.

I did need rest, much of it, but I was more worried about her and her waking up.

* * *

><p><strong>Jemima's POV:<strong>

Everything felt warm, all over my body as I saw my vision slowly coming back to life. I was on my back, and at first nothing was hurting. But once I tried to breathe in slowly, I felt my side being pulled in a way that didn't seem right. I then realized in my own head: stitches. My head was throbbing from being so still for what seemed like days, my arm was attached to a plasma and my own body was fizzling with morphine going through me. It felt like I was floating, which was both nice and scary at the same time. Nice since I felt no pain, but scary since the vast amount of morphine that was needed to calm the pain.

What happened?

I blinked a few times, seeing I was in a room of some sort, with no one really around and it was nice and quiet. I was no longer out in the snow, freezing my ass off and thinking that I was going to die. No, I was draped in an army blanket which was making me warmer than I thought it would, and my head was propped on top what felt like a jacket. I breathed out slowly again, feeling the stitches against my side and my shoulder being a bit numbed. At first I was looking at the wall, but then something else was there against the wall or someone. I grinned, knowing who it was.

Eugene.

He was propped up against the wall, sitting in the chair and his head lowered to his chin touching his chest, fast asleep and _The Great Gatsby_ was in his hand, halfway open and his finger on a page to hold it there. Just seeing him there made everything else that was threatening to make me feel sadness and pain melted away. I missed him so much that it killed me not seeing him when I was in the snow, almost dying from my wounds and my sanity. But now he was there in front of me, asleep and giving me the image that he was living in beyond peace and with nothing bringing him pain. I wish I could watch him asleep forever, the look of content on his face with his rested cheeks and how his lips were tight together as if he was holding a secret. Has he always slept like this? He must have since he fell asleep on my shoulder a good amount of times in the past.

Everything about how I viewed him shifted when I was there on the table. I never gave him enough credit as my best friend here in the Company. He always listened to me when I bitched and complained, smiled with me when we would joke together, and helped me through the medication situations that were there. He was and will always be my best friend, and it evolved from there. It made me remember how Joe commented that Eugene would look at me in the way our parents would look at each other: in admiration and in devotion. I fell for him too, since he too was so complex in his own right. Eugene was stubborn: hardheaded with his knowledge of medicine, kind to talk to, compassionate with the other men in the company, selfless in his work on the boys to make them better and no longer in pain, and I knew there was more to him than that. I could tell we both were broken and we didn't deserve each other, but we did fit perfectly.

"_Liebste_." I whispered to him softly so that I wouldn't startle him, but loud enough to where I would wake him. He slowly opened his eyes, breathing in slowly through his nose and then snapped awake quickly, as if he was realizing where he was. I waited on the table, seeing him blink a few times and then looking over at me, seeing him smile widely at him and feel the scabs on my face move with my skin. It took him a solid moment until he finally saw what was happening: I was awake.

I was alive.

Eugene looked at me with wide eyes, not moving for a solid moment before he got up from his chair, the book falling to the floor without him caring. I was frozen in my spot on the table since just seeing him alive in front of me was enough for me. He walked over briskly to be right next to me, grabbing my hand within a second and I could tell he was about to break out into tears. Was he worried? Scared out of his mind? Petrified? I couldn't read his face at this point, but I then saw him breathe out finally through his mouth.

"_Chere_." He gasped out, having me feel a tear come out of my own eye. How I have missed his voice, it was soothing to hear again since I was so used to hearing his voice in my own thoughts. He finally leaned in, pressing his lips against me in just a pace that it made me think he was waiting a long time to kiss me. It was a firm kiss, his hands were gently placed on my face where I wasn't touched with wounds as I kissed him back. I reached up with my spare hand to cup his cheek as we kissed for another moment or two, having me sigh against his lips and getting my heart to flutter again. This was already making me feel better, just being here with him and feel his skin against my own. Screw the morphine, this was all I needed right now to be better.

When Eugene pulled away, finally, I felt him rest his own forehead against my own, though it made contact with the cut that was there and I hissed slightly. He jerked away within an instant, seeing that I was still hurt on my forehead and he looked like he just punched me in the stomach. I felt bad for taking out my pain a bit on him, though he looked at me with a hesitancy now.

"I'm sorry." He apologized, but I shook my head at him and the smile never leaving my face since the tingling sensation on my lips from our kisses were still there.

"Don't be, I'm just glad you're here." I explained softly to him, though my voice was still trying to get used to being used again.

"Should I….I should get your brother." Eugene said to me suddenly in a shaky tone, as if he was trying no hard not to cry, but I shook my head again. As much as I wanted to see my brother, I wanted to have some time with Eugene before that would happen or even seeing the rest of the Company. That would be too much for me to handle at the moment, I just needed Eugene and no one else.

"I just wanna talk to you, right now."

* * *

><p>"It just happened so quickly, Eugene." I explained to him, seeing him stroke my hand with his spare hand and the other hand in my hair, his fingers stroking the short waves there as he was back on the chair, sitting next to my head and just staying close enough where we could talk gently to one another. It was nice and quiet, what I needed since Eugene was there, stroking my hair and holding my hand as he asked what happened with the Aid Station and the explosions going off.<p>

"One minute we were just talking and the next, the whole place was lit up in flames," I explained some more, still trying got get used to the stitches on my side when I was breathing in and out. It was hard, though I was used to stitches before. It was just hard for me to get back to normal when I was out cold for more than a day.

"I'm just glad you're okay." Eugene replied, having me watch him carefully as he was looking at the scabs and cuts along my arm, having me see the hurt in his eyes as he was seeing the damage on my skin.

"Hey," I said to him, seeing him look back at me and have me see the warm eyes he had again. I hated that he was hurting, seeing the after effects on my arm and face. He was hurting that he wasn't there to help me and protect me. That was another thing that I knew about him: he was protective. Sure all the men in Easy were protective of me because I was a female in their group of men, but it was another that he was protective of me because of my Epilepsy. Joe was too, but he was more aggressive with his protective hold on me. Eugene was gentler and kinder with me, which was what I needed.

"I'm okay, I'm right here." I reassured him, though I started to cough a bit from the new wave of pain coming over my from both breathing with my body. Eugene squeezing my hand through the coughing that was happening, and once I was done, I closed my eyes in defeat.

"It fuckin' hurts to breathe." I said in grimace though I opened my eyes and see Eugene grin at me now.

"It sounds nice to hear that you're back to your cocky self again." He joked, having me shake my head and grin at him. I'm glad it was nice and light between us again, though I missed him far too much.

"Thank you for being so supportive with my bitchiness, and I thought you liked me because of my good looks." I joked back, though he rolled my his eyes.

"Well, you are beautiful to me, and these don't do you justice." Eugene explained softly, touching the scabs softly against my cheek and forehead with one finger, having me remember that he did this before when we were in Bastogne in a foxhole. He had the same gentle look in his eye. the same gentle touch against my skin and the same butterflies within my stomach and chest.

"Maybe it's the morphine that I'm feelin', but you just called me beautiful. Should I be worried that I'm drugged up?" I asked him coyly, since he did call me beautiful and it did make me feel beyond worth all over my body. No one called me that, not once, at least not somebody who was not part of my family tree.

"Don't be," Eugene reassured me, his smile that was so warm making me breathe smoothly again as he stroked my hair some more with his fingers, "Although….when you were gone…I was more worried about your Epilepsy and how that got you hurt."

"I was not even close to having a seizure when we were hit, Eugene. Trust me, the Epilepsy had nothing to do with it," I said back, seeing him think to himself for a moment or two before I then asked the next question that was on my mind, "What happened while I was away?" There was silence then, Eugene hiding something from me and I could tell then that it was not good, not what I wanted to hear.

"Eugene?" I asked him, shaking him slightly with our joined hands and he moved his own hand away from my hair, rubbing his face in frustration.

"We lost Muck and Penkala that night when we were hit." Eugene said painfully, dropping the bomb that made me lose my own voice from hearing that my friend died. Muck, the one who would bring me a reassuring smile on my face from his jokes and his own smile that would light up the world. How was Malarky dealing with this now? They were best friends, and now he was gone. I just looked back up at the ceiling and tried to drink it all in. But it was too much again, since he felt like more than another soldier to me. Eugene just stayed against my table near me, in his chair and placing his fingers back in my hair to rub it down and calm me down from having a seizure.

"I'm sorry I had to tell you, Jemima." He said to me in almost a sorrowful tone, already affected by it too and I just took in another painful breath. Everything was feeling so real and so vivid within my mind and under my skin. I had no idea when we were going to be done with this war, nor did I know if I was even going to make it out alive. This incident are far too close to killing me, though I slipped by. Muck and Penkala didn't, they became a victim of this sick game of war.

"Jemmie?" Eugene and I looked up from out spot, having me see Joe at the door and he was peering in. He looked like he got no sleep, but I was so glad to see him. I was afraid for him since I was missing from the Company, who knows what he went through and who he almost killed because I was gone. But from what I was seeing now, he looked rather calm and collective, though there were tear tracks on his cheeks. I hated seeing him like this: no longer strong but broken on the inside out.

"I'm gonna go get some sleep, but I'll come back soon." Eugene said to me as we looked back at each other. No matter how much I wanted to have Eugene next to me, I knew he wanted to give me time with my brother so we could reconnect since we saw each other last. I nodded my head, seeing him get up from his chair and then lean over to kiss me on the forehead. He was engraving the kiss in my head for me to remember, I could feel it. Eugene then walked away over to the Joe as my brother moved into the room, they both smiled at each other as Eugene exit and it left me with Joe there at the door.

"You look like you're getting better." Joe commented with a shrug of his shoulders, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked over casually, sitting in the chair next to my head and having me eye him. I knew he was trying to be a careless about this as much as he could. Joe was never good with dealing with grief, he would resort to either brushing it off his shoulder and having it roll off or using his fists in some way, shape or form. This was the careless road he was taken, and I didn't like it. Carelessness or violence.

"Joe, don't you dare act like this is nothing." I said to him calmly, though there was a bitter small taste of anger behind it. Joe then saw in my own eyes that I was seeing past the wall he was putting up. I was his sister, his twin for God's sake, and I knew what he was trying to pull on me. So I reached up with the spare hand was was clutching Eugene's hand not too long ago, touching Joe's cheeks and feeling the tear tracks there. Once we made skin contact, I could see Joe getting vulnerable in front of me, his face was shaking with tears threatening to come down and his eyes were no longer warm.

"I'm okay, Joe. It's okay." I admitted to him as he then scooted closer to me, leaning down to place our heads gently together. This time, the pain on my face was no longer the issue: it was my brother being scared for me and my safety and now he was seeing me again, trying to be the protective older brother. I stroked his face with my hand, trying to soothe him and he just breathed against me, calming himself down. He was going to work himself up into a breakdown, I could feel it against my fingers and hear in how he was breathing.

"I didn't think you are going to make it." He croaked out between his thin lips. I knew that was a lie.

"Bullshit," I commented as he sniffed, "You never gave up on me. I know that for a fact. Ever since we were kids, you never gave up on me, and I never thought you would start now."

"You're right, I never did. I'm just glad you're okay." Joe finally admitted, leaning back a bit and getting the fresh tears off his face before I could even make fun of him for it.

"You know for a fact that I don't back down easily. So this wasn't going to stop me from coming back." I explained to him carefully, seeing him break out into a grin and nod his head.

"You're tougher than I give you credit for." Joe answered back.

"And don't you forget it, ever." I reminded him, running my fingers in his hair as I analyzed him from my spot on the table, "You look like you haven't slept in days."

"Yeah well, I was stayin' up, thinking about ya and how you were doing. But Eugene took care of ya." Joe replied, then reaching under his shirt and grabbing his dog tags that were hanging around his neck. I saw something else hanging with his tags, having me grin as I could see it in between his fingers.

"This brought me peace these days, with you being gone and all." Joe explained as he pointed to the Star of David, a smirk on his face, "I think that's why ma gave us these, you know? To have us think of peace when we weren't together and all."

"Mom always thought of things like that. You know her, the worry wart." I commented, seeing him almost snort in a laugh, but he was holding it in. He leaned back a bit more, but still close enough for me to run my fingers in his hair and to feel how cold his skin was, I grimaced then, seeing the toll of the war on my own brother's face and in his voice. This was not the brother I grew up with, he has changed since we signed our lives away.

"Eugene told me about Muck and Penkala, how's Malarky holding up?" I asked him in wonder.

"He's still torn up about it since he was buds with them and everything. I just glad we're getting out of this shit and somewhere a bit warmer I hope." Joe breathed out, sighing in relief and then looking at me with a look of pure seriousness. I looked back, seeing that he was thinking of something that could either make me angry to confused.

"You know, Winters is talkin' about sending you home to get better." Joe started, having me move my hand from him so quickly like his hair was fire and I was about to be burned. Nope, I was going to be angry.

"I'm not going anywhere, Joe." I wanted him carefully, trying to control my own anger since that could only make my recovery much worse now. Joe eyes me now, seeing that I was once again about to have a stubborn fit about it.

"Jemmie, this isn't a seizure we're talking about. You nearly died from an explosion from the Krauts—" He was cut off from the death glare I was giving him.

"Sorry, Germans, that bombed you. Why don't you just want to go home?" Joe finished with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Because I belong with you guys here, that's why." I replied back to him cooly, "I'm not going to just roll over and play dead when I can get past this. You can call me a stubborn bitch, but I care about all of those men in our Company to damn much. I don't wanna leave Luz or Bull, or Eugene, and certainly not you. Let's be honest here, Joe, you guys are all that I have now." Joe did say a word, just drinking in the fact that this was true. These boys were all I had now in my life, and they were not going to be ripped away from me. Not now, not when I had something good going on with each of them. The worst of it all was the thought of leaving Eugene, that would hurt too much and it would be too painful. Joe nodded his head, this time not wanting to fight with me as he grabbed my spare hand to place it against his chest, holding it there so I could feel his heartbeat against his bony chest through the jacket and thin shirt he was sporting.

"Okay, Jemmie. You Ain't going nowhere."


	24. Chapter 24

**January 30th, 1945**

**Jemima's POV:**

"Full House, I win ya'll." Christenson said aloud in glee as we were all groaning, throwing down our cards and seeing him scoop up the rations and the few dollar bills that were in the middle of the board that was set up on the middle of the table. At this point, I was able to sit down in a chair and not have too much pain since my side was about to me healed completely with the stitches removed by both Spina and Eugene. That wasn't awkward enough, having to show my side to the both of them and feel a bit exposed in front of them. Thankfully, the three of us have reached the point of friendship where I wouldn't trust anyone else to do the job but those two. My scabs turned into scars, and the scars grew faint in the morning light as we were now still in Foye, though there was no need to us to leave just yet. We thought we were going to leave, but we got word from corporate that we were going to stay and help get the town back on its feet, no longer needing to move with just haste.

After I had my talk with Eugene and Joe, the rest of the Company came in to talk to me, telling me how the battle went and what happened out there while I was still away from them. Frank Perconte was shot in the town, though I grinned after having a remorse look on my face when I heard about Bull having to carry Frank on his back like a monkey. But none the less, I was so glad to see them all again, all of their faces that were too changing because of the war and the toll it was placing on them. I was just glad we were all getting a bit of a breather, though I personally knew that wasn't going to last very long. We were fighting so hard to keep our spirits up, but it was no use for them all to play the part in front of us. They kept trying though, smiles on their faces and hope in their eyes.

Now early in the night, we were playing poker and just trying to both keep warm and keep our heads cleared. I was playing with Christenson, Bull, Popeye, Luz, Johnny, Sisk, Shifty, Joe, Malarky and Welsh in a makeshift poker room that in one of the larger buildings on the edge of town. Babe was on patrol that night with another replacement, Winters and Nixon were in a meeting with another leader from another Company to hear back when we are going to move on to a town in France, which is our newest mission apparently. Eugene, however, was getting rest for the first time in what seemed like days. We would stay up some nights, talking together and having me read to home some more. I would even help with some of the harder words that Eugene would try to pronounce, though I found it cute when he tried since his accent sounded more appealing. It was still nice to be with Eugene, stealing kisses within the darkness of the room and holding hands.

"Goddamnit, Christenson. I wanted that piece of chocolate." Johnny complained as Christenson gave him a smirk, showing no remorse as he shoved the chocolate in his jacket pocket he then grabbed the cards again.

"Another round, fellas?" He asked with a cocky look on him now as we all nodded. I was still recovering myself with the wounds and my hip now feeling more like a bruise than a scabbed bone.

"I have jack shit to work with." Malarky grumbled as he was trying to find something to gamble with. I tapped my own pants pockets and jacket pocket, though I too was getting low on what I wanted to gamble with. But lucky for me, I found a pack of cigarettes and I threw it in the middle of the table.

"A whole pack, Jem? I didn't know you smoked." Shifty commented to me kindly, having me grin at him as the others were throwing out random items to place their bets with. Joe was on my left, placing two cigarettes on the table and Bull was on my right, putting in his own cigar that I knew he held dearly to his heart.

"I don't. I found this while I was at the Aid Station, confiscated it from a medic there since they weren't allowed to smoke." I explained as Christenson passed out the card.

"Wow, look at you being the next Sobel around here." Luz joked with me in a Sobel impression, having me look across the table at him and see the faint scar on the top of his head from his own accident out in Bastogne. The rest of the men started complaining from the mere subject of out old Captain whom we all hated. Malarky shoved him with a glare in his eyes as we started to curse him out.

"Can it, Luz. Don't even start with that." Joe complained to him as he then shook his head, holding his hands in defense.

"Okay, okay! I give I give! Don't let me ruffle all of your feathers, ladies." Luz joked as we all laughed from his antics, holding up out own cards and getting the new game started. This felt nice, for me at least. There was no sense of hostility or fear of all of us getting shot or killed. This was light for us, lint and cheerful. Almost like we weren't part of the war in the first place and just meeting at one of our houses.

"Who are you calling a lady?" Bull asked in his deep tone of a voice as he was moving his cards around in his massive hand.

"Well, compared to the rest of you chums, Jem here is more of a guy." Luz commented, then looking over at me as I raised an eyebrow to his remark about me bring a man. Even Joe looked at him in surprise.

"No offense you ya, Jem." Luz added, to make himself no longer look like a dick. I just grinned at him, getting my cards in the right order as we were then shifting cards around with one another.

"I always knew I had bigger balls than you Luz, I just didn't think you'd be the first to voice it." I commented back to him softly, since my voice sounded so heavenly but what I said was more ruthless. The rest of the men roared in laughter from what I told him, and he too grinned as we were getting the game going.

"But can ya kill someone with a smile, Jem? Can ya?" Luz replied back in a New York accent, making the scene around us even lighter. But then we saw someone come into the room and we all froze in out spots. Within a second, we threw down our cards and then stood up in attention, since it was Lewis Nixon that walked into the room and made everything go quiet in the room. We all watched him and he was looking at us not with leadership in his stance or stare, but with curiosity. He was looking for someone, and then he looked right at me, having me get the stinging feel of curiosity down my spine.

"At ease, all of you." He replied in a calm manner, the group of us all realizing in our spots though we still didn't move from our spots, "I came here to grab Sergeant Liebgott." All of the men looked over at me now, having me take in a deep breath and nod my head. I had no idea what I was going to do with Nixon and why he wanted to talk to me. Maybe he was going to take me to talk to Winters, or there was another soldier that needed mending. I had no clue, but I wasn't gout to question him now.

"Yes, sir." I replied rearranging my jacket and buttoning up the jacket to look more presentable since I had it open to show my white shirt underneath. Before I moved though, Joe grabbed my arm and gave me a shaky look as if he was afraid that I wasn't going to come back. I smiled at him, seeing him search my eyes with his.

"It's fine, Joe. I'll come back and play another round with the guys." I said in a light tone, seeing him nod his head slowly and I moved away from him now, no longer wanting to have another rare moment with him. I moved over to Nixon, seeing him give me a small smile and then we both left the room, though I could hear the others talking about what they think was going to happen.

"She's not in trouble, boys. Come on, get the hand ready for another around, will yah?" Shifty reassuring them all with his softness in his tone as I followed Nixon out of the building into the winter air of the night. Everything was quiet around the town, the faint sound of the chilly winter air was coming over me and having me watch Nixon as he then fished out his own cigarette from his pocket, lighting it and then breathing in deeply. I watched him from behind him, seeing the smoke rise into the air as he then spoke up for once in the night.

"Follow me, I wanna show you something." Nixon said calmly, then walking over to the left with me behind him. I just shoved my hands in my pockets, not wanting to say a word or two before he would tell me what was going on. I doubted he was going to do something against me that was bitter or bad, Nixon wasn't like that at all. At least not to me he was.

He was leading me into another one of the buildings, having me look with my eyes and see that it was once a bar. I could tell from the tables that were turned over or blown to pieces, the bar that was there and somehow still standing in the area and the plenty of blown alcohol bottles around the area. But I still followed Nixon, seeing him go to the back wall where the bar was and then reach around the side, tapping something with his hand and then things were shifting in front of the both of us. A door was behind the wall since the wall moved over to the slide slowly and with a creak to make the sound move through the air with ease. I watched with wide eyes and then seeing Nixon look back at me as if the door was nothing new or scary, and then pointing to the opening in the new doorway.

"We found this the day we conquered the city, thinking this is the best place to talk to any of the Germans that are still here in the town that we captured." Nixon explained to me, having me then eye him and take a hesitant step back. I had some idea then what he wanted me to do: talk to a German and maybe get something out of them. Nixon saw my hesitance then, shaking his head as I wanted nothing more than to run to the hills. I had no care to talk to a German soldier, not to be an interpreter for the officers and to say what they want me to. I just wanted to be a medic, since I forgot that I too had an obligation to the Company since I spoke German.

"Hey, hey Jem," Nixon called out to me softly, having me blink a few times and clutch my jacket in front of me like it was my life jacket, "We are not leaving you in there alone with them, we would never do that."

"But you want me to interrogate a German officer for you?" I asked amused, but the look in my face and how I was looking right at him showed that I hated this, hated what he wanted from me.

"Just to talk to him is all we want, not to interrogate him. I'll be down there, with Nixon and Lipton along with Spiers, and we all just want to figure out what their next plan of attack is going to be." Nixon explained to me, having me see the hint of worry on his face since he was seeing me about to have another panic attack on my hands. I just nodded my head, knowing that there was no way out of this.

"Why me, though, sir?" I asked him, reaching into my jacket pocket for the medicine that I needed to take to keep my Epilepsy at bay. I unscrewed the cap and grabbed the pill from the bottle.

"Webster isn't coming back to the Company anytime soon with his rehab on his foot, and I don't thinking placing your twin brother in the same room as a German officer would do us any good since he already has a sore spot for the Germans." Nixon explained as I popped the pill, having it go down my throat as I agreed with him about my brother.

"That's true." I agreed in a huff, seeing him smile a bit from how I resounded to my brother. He then waited for an answer from me, having me then take a deep breath before walking over past him to go and be an interpreter. Nixon followed me, having me now wish I had a cigarette in my own mouth right now to ease what was going to plague my heart and mind. There was no real way how this was going to happen, and if this was going to happen smoothly. But I had four officers with me, so I was not going to be alone in this.

But why did I feel alone?

* * *

><p>"<em>Uns wurde befohlen, die Stadt zu nehmen und keine Beweise zu enrichen" <em>(We were ordered to take the city and destroy any evidence). The officer explained to me as I listened across the table from him with one of his soldiers next to him, the both of the tied to the chair and not showing any aggression. Lipton was standing behind him, gun loaded and aiming at him as Spiers was sitting next to me with his hands folded on the table. Winters and Nixon were standing to the side, watching the whole conversation as I was translating back and forth between Spiers and the officer. He was in his older forties, looking like he too had a rough time with the war since we won the city.

"They were only ordered to take the city and destroy any evidence here." I translated aloud, keeping my eyes on the German as I said this to Winters and Nixon.

"What evidence were they trying to destroy?" Winters asked me aloud, but his eyes were on the Officer, who was no leaving his sight with me. His soldier was watching me too, almost the same age as me if not a bit older with a hint of anger in his eyes as he was watching me like a hawk. It felt like he was acting the same way as the American Soldier did at camp, seeing me as a prize and something for him to conquer. But he wasn't going to touch me, when I and four officers here in case they were going to do something for me.

"_Was für be Weise?_" (What evidence?) I asked him, staying still as Spiers shifted from his spot next to me in his own seat. The Officer looked agitated from the thought of spilling his information to me, not only an America, but a female American. That must of been a low blow to the ego with him.

"_Hinweise aug eine jüdische Erbe, Kunst oder Literatur_." (Evidence of any Jewish heritage, art of literature). He explained to me in his commanding tone, but I was not moved as I then felt an awkward shift in my own seat. I didn't like the subject of Jews being the subject of war or pain here. It didn't feel right, almost like a aching in the stomach. I was Jewish, was that why I hated this feeling then?

"Any literature or art that is Jewish, sir." I replied, but with a shaky breath as the soldier next to him only smirked at me, the small smirk of defiance that he knew I was not comfortable with this conversation or the subject manner.

"Why Jews?" Nixon asked now, a lost not getting why Jews became the target for destroying evidence. I too wanted to know, since it felt more personal with me, Now I knew why Joe was not called down here to be the translator, he would of killed both of them within seconds because they mentioned Jews.

"_Warum Juden?" _(Why Jews?) I asked him, a bit more boldness to my tone of voice, He said nothing, not at first, though his soldier friend was still smirking at me like he won a prize of some sort and it was about to get me even more angrier.

"_Antworte mir_." (Answer me). I said in a louder tone, now wanting to know why more than ever. Spiers could tell I was getting angry, moving to place his pistol on top of the table to have the officer cooperate with me with what I wanted to hear. I had no weapon, but I'll be damned if this officer was going to walk all over me now and give me the silent treatment.

"_Wir wissen nicht, amerikanische Abschaum antworten_." (We don't answer to American scum) He soldier replied back in a bitter tone, then seeing the Officer snap his head over at soldier with a death glare on him.

"_Schweig!_" (Be silent!) The officer snapped at him, now the soldier looking away from me then and having me see Winters walk over to me a bit, thinking that I was in trouble now. Spiers placed his hand on the pistol now, seeing the conversation went a little off.

"Liebgott?" Winters asked me, all of us were looking at the two men with unsure looks.

"He called me American scum." I replied casusally, placing my hands on the table now and feeling more like a cop than I did before. The officer looked back at me, seeing the anger in my eyes and now I was sitting with him.

"_Was geschieht mit meinen Männern passieren Sie aufgenommen haben_?" (What will happen to my men you have captured?) The officer asked me, carrying on as if the altercation with his soldier did not happen at all.

"He wants to know what is going to happen to his men, sir." I translated aloud for Winters to hear since he was still wanting to talk to the Officer about the situation at hand.

"Tell him we will send them to our commanding post and we will get the necessary information out of them." Winters explained back to me, though his eyes were on the Officer now. As I translated that to him, I could feel myself become harder and harder when it came to being a soldier. I was no longer soft, hell, I was never soft. But this was making me look a the world in a harder way. I never wanted this feeling, this seeking feeling that was in the pit of my stomach and threatening to make me a sinner more than a saint. What was this war doing to me, and why was I feeling the change now?

* * *

><p>"Jem?" I looked up from my spot at the deserted bar, sitting at the one table that wasn't blown to bits and in a rocky chair. After going through the rest of the conversation with the German Officer and the soldier, I was released and they were held there in the bunker of the secret room, no one having the two of them leave as I just sat at the chair and table for a good ten minutes to myself. Thoughts were floating in my head then, flooding my mind like a shaking earthquake and having me really see myself in a new manner: a real soldier. When I first landed in Normandy, I only saw myself as the medic. But now it was different, scary but different.<p>

"You mind if I sit?" Nixon asked me, holding a new glass of whiskey in his hand. I never judged him on how he would drink since I heard from the other men that he was a drinker on the side. But he was never a bad leader, he was a good one really. So I nodded my head, seeing him grin at me slightly then pulling a chair over to sit across from me. He placed the glass on the table, taking a big drink at first and then leaning back in his chair, hands folded in front of him and then watching me carefully from his chair.

"How're holding up, Jem?" He asked me casually, though I said nothing at first but moved my hair from my eyes.

"Like shit." I merely replied, seeing him look at me in confusion now since I was so blunt.

"How so? Why, because of what happened in there?" he asked in wonder, having me be silent again.

"It's more than that, sir." I explained, making sure I addressed him as needed as he then leaned forward a bit to show that he had my attention, "I don't like how I am now, sir." He paused as if he was trying to decode what I just told him in my mind. But then I could see he realized what I was truly saying, taking out a shaky breath before he started to speak to me, now more collective and caring than the casual way he was before.

"I never took you as a typical soldier, well not at first," Nixon explained as he took another drink from his glass, pouring on some more and watching the liquid go into the crystal glass, "I think every soldier that comes into war really thinks that they won't be changed, I know I did. But it has changed me, for both the better and the worst. I have seen myself harden up to the simple things, all for the sake of having a duty to serve in the war." I stayed quiet, seeing that he was telling the truth as he then paused, looking at the glass now as a foreign object and then moving his hands away from him now, looking back at me square in the eye.

"I see how you are, Jem. How you talk to the men and you keep them sane from doing something stupid and shitty. They call you their Moral Compass, someone they can look to in order to not fall into whatever kind of shit they can end up in. So who's going to be your own compass when you're falling into it?" Nixon asked me carefully, having me think about it for a moment or two. He was right, I looked out for the others and I tried so hard to keep them all safe, but it was another thing that there was no one there to really become my own moral compass. Was there someone like that for me? The only person I could think of was Eugene, how he grounded me and made me sane in times of fear and constant struggle.

"It's Eugene," I merely replied back to him, seeing him watch me with his own eyes as I thought about it more, "It has always been Eugene for me, sir." Sure I was kind of letting him know that I had feelings for Eugene, but he asked for the truth and I gave it to him. For some reason, I wasn't afraid to tell him what I was thinking about and how I was feeling in that moment. Nixon seemed like an okay guy to tell this kind of feelings too, though I knew he wasn't a total sap about it. He just smiled, as if there was nothing else to say at that moment. And there wasn't not to me really. He then placed a small luger pistol on the top of the table, right in between us and I didn't move, just looking at the gun like it was a foreign object. It was, to me it was really.

"You better hang onto a gun for now on." Nixon said more as a statement as I then carefully grabbed the pistol, holding it in my left hand like it as weighing me down in the ocean: with hesitance and with fear.

"Why, sir?" I asked him, then seeing him give me a serious look in the eye.

"Because, if you're going to change into being more a soldier now, then you need to carry yourself like one." Nixon merely explained, having me look at him in confusion and in shock, going back to look at the pistol in my hand again.

I find myself again before I was going to be anyone's moral compass again.

* * *

><p>It was late in the evening, and I was going to go and find Babe to relieve him of his duties. After I talked with Nixon, I went back to Easy Company to let them know what happened with the German Officers. Thankfully Joe wasn't there, since I knew he was going to have a field day about the whole thing. So I decided to not to tell him. Better to let a sleeping demon sleep than wake it and have it cause chaos.<p>

After I told the men, I went out to find Babe and as I passed the same bar that I had my conversation with Nixon. As I passed it, I heard something shift from within the bar, something not natural. I was frozen then, not moving for a moment. The pistol that Nixon gave me was heavy in my satchel, weighing me down with the thought that sometime in the future I would have to use it. But now, I was just concerned about hearing something in the bar that didn't sound normal.

Walking over, I heard nothing at first, just the glass under my feet and I could breathe in the aftermath of the battle still hanging in the air. I was inside the bar now, looking around to see if something or someone was there. I heard nothing anymore, which was not a good sign. This was a bad idea, a real bad one. I feel like an idiot right now, since I was all by myself and I don't remember a damn thing about defending myself since we did it in training back in America. But all of that came to a screeching halt.

A wooden board came over my back, having me fall to the floor and grunt in pain.

The pain was insanely hard and it hit like a to of bricks though it was wood. I then peered over my shoulder, seeing none other than the German Soldier already peering over me, then having me panic and look past him. The door was wide open, shit! This was not good, not at all. I wanted to cry out to help, but then he slammed his fist against my cheek, having me feel more pain in my face as I cried out, feeling him then grab my jacket with his hand and yank me up and have me inches away from his face.

"_Sie sind ein glücklicher Hündin_." (You are one lucky bitch.) He sneered at me as he then slammed his fist against along my jaw, having me be shoved back down on the floor. My satchel was no longer attached to my body, it was on the floor, away from me now. Great, this was just great. I turned on my belly, trying to crawl my way away from him and out of the situation. I should yell out for someone to help me, call for another member of my Company to come and help. But it was no used when he grabbed my jacket, yanked me back up and then grabbing my throat, making me loose my breath and start to choke then and there. I couldn't feel any more air coming to and from my lungs, my visions as going blurry and my mind going numb. Oh crap, I was about to die at the hands of a German.

"Let go of her!" I heard behind him, seeing him then release me since he too was being slammed by a wooden board that was so thick that it made me him loose his own breath. I fell to the floor since he let go of my throat since I saw with wide eyes that it was Eugene who slammed the board against the German Soldier's back, having him grunt in pain. I grabbed my own neck, trying to breathe again as the soldier whirled around and faced a petrified Eugene. How did he get here? Did he see what was happening, or did he hear me scream? I was scared him as the soldier then shoot himself up and he ran into Eugene, like a ram, and they fell to the floor in a struggle. I had to help him now, though my throat was on fire and I felt more fresh blood on my face from the assault. The German and Eugene were struggling with each other on the floor, punching each other since clearly neither one of them had a gun to finish the other one off. But I had to think of something, I wasn't going let Eugene get killed because of me.

Something was next to my hand: the leg of a table that made me think of a bat. It was thick, long enough to be a bat, and I grabbed with my shaking hands. I held the skinnier end with both hands, holding it in a death grip and running over to the German, who had his back to me. It was like baseball all over again, when Joe and I were children again and we were young enough to be reckless. But this time it was real, since Eugene was getting killing slowly from the punches that were being landed on his face and limbs.

"No!" I said in horror as Eugene was being punched in the face now by the German, having me see blood and then I slammed the leg hard against his back, like I was swinging a bat. He fell away from Eugene, onto his knees as he shouted out in pain, rolling his back. I watched as he was about to get up again but he whirled around to see me, then kicking me hard in the chest and having me fall to the floor to loose my own breath and gasp out in pain. It hit me hard, too hard, since now Eugene was not running into him again to get him away from me. They both fell to the floor, plummeting to the damaged floor as I was trying to breathe again.

It felt so hard now, but I then remembered something that I was carrying with me in my satchel: the gun. Nixon gave it to me hours before hand and now I had a moment to use it. I never thought I would really use it once in this war, but now it was the time. I hated that fact that I had to use it, since this was against my better judgment on how I wanted to live this life. I never wanted to take a life, not once, it was against my religion and my way of life as a human being. But he was hurting someone whom I considered my better half, my anchor and someone whom I was falling in love with. He was not going to die, not now. I grabbed my satchel that was about to be so far away from my fingers, and I reached in to grab the one weapon that I knew I was going to regret on using.

Pulling it out of the satchel, it all happened at once: I aimed and I pulled the trigger, as if it was nothing, But he then froze in the air, the crimson blood coming out of his back slowly where I shot him and he then fell to the floor in a heap like a sack of vegetables. It all happened so quick, then leaving me to then look at the gun in my hand as Eugene moved away from the dead body, looking right at me with now a black eye and a busted lip. He looked so damaged, yet it was me that killed the man, I threw the gun away from me in a grunt, as if it was cursed and I felt so bad that I did that.

I killed a man.

"Jemima…" Eugene trailed off, but my hands were shaking and my mind was now telling me over and over that I was a murderer. I felt tears hit my face then as Eugene hugged me close, rocking me back and forth as I sobbed into his chest. I never wanted to kill, it made me feel lower than a man as I was now a real soldier. Eugene still hugged me close though, the both of us beyond broken and now I was even more in the deep end. Eugene kissed my head, telling me over and over again that I was okay, I did the right thing, and it was all over. But it cut me real deep, like a blade.

"What happened." I looked up to see a Spiers, who ran from the headquarters. He probably heard the shot that rang out, the shot I gave. But he looked over the both of us as Eugene held me close, having me try to say strong but it was no use. Spiers said nothing, looking a bit bad himself since he was seeing two medics battered on the floor, weeping in each other's arms.

I was now officially broken.


	25. Chapter 25

**February 9th, 1945**

**Hagenau, France**

We were all not looking too good, sitting in the Platoon trucks and riding into the town in France with the bitter cold going against us and hitting us hard like bricks. We all didn't want to be there, not in the cold again and with the past soldiers who fell haunting us behind closed eyes. I sat in the truck with Eugene next to me, clutching my hand tightly and watching me as I was zoning out again, thinking back to the dead soldier that I killed back in Foye. His face, how he breathed out one last time, and how he fell to the floor, was a permanent play by play.

I didn't talk about it, nor did Eugene. We just walked back to base with Spiers, whom also kept his mouth shut as the others saw us and how we looked. I had new bloody cuts on my face and bruises on my jawline and neck, Eugene with a black eye and busted lower lip, and they were beyond shocked. I knew they were going to ask, but one look from me had them all go quiet. Even Joe didn't say anything, but I knew he was heated. The deed was done: I killed a man to defend Eugene. But I knew I should be okay with it, though my own head was telling me that I was a murderer.

So now we were riding along into the new area. I was in an platoon truck with some of the men, my brother in another truck with Malarky and some others. We were rolling by the deserted town, people walking alongside us and saying nothing as I was just trying to breathe without having a breakdown on my hands. Nothing was making sense anymore, nothing good or honest to be fair. All I had now was Eugene and him holding my hand in between us. He was the only sense of warmth I had left since he held me the whole time I was crying after the fight, not giving me criticism or pain about it. I never can find someone else like him to be fair, and I knew I didn't deserve him at all.

"_Chere_." Eugene said to me softly, having me look up and over at him on my right, seeing his eyes pouring into my own. The black eye had was slowing melting away, although there were traces there still lingering in his pale skin and his lip was healing. Even when he stole a kiss from me once or twice to bring me healing, I couldn't tell if it was bothering him or not. Eugene was still good to me, always staying next to me and speaking up for me when I wanted to be silent. What a knight and shining armor.

"You up for the meeting with Spina and the other Medics?" He asked me gently, having me smile slightly and nod my head at him, then seeing a small grin back on his face. He was looking up with the situation at hand, and all I was trying to do was breathe.

"_Liebste,_" I paused, seeing him watch me as I then took in a shaky breath, "I have to tell the other men….I have to tell them about the Epilepsy."

"And you wanna tell them now?" He asked me carefully, not clearly understanding why I wanted to tell them at this moment. I never fulfilled my end of the deal with Winters when it came to telling Easy Company about my Epilepsy, merely because I almost died from an aerial attack on the Aid Station. So now it seemed to be a better time, though we all felt like killing ourselves by trying to recover from both Bastogne and Foy. I didn't blame the men for being crabby with each other, I was doing the same too.

"Better now than never." I replied with a shrug of my shoulders, having me see him look ahead at the both of us, having me see Bull, Sisk and Shifty sitting across from us and not paying attention to us. Eugene then looked back at me now, a small look of concern was back on his face.

"After our meeting with the other medics, you wanna read some more tonight?" Eugene asked me with hope in his voice. I grinned now, it was small enough not to notice, but big enough to have me feel a small glimmer of hope within me that I haven't felt in days. He was trying to bring be back from going over the edge, from no longer being a moral compass. I nodded my head, seeing him squeeze my hand to give me a kiss in his own way because we couldn't do it out in the open. It was still a risk for us, since we both could be in deep shit if this was exposed to the rest of the men in our company.

"My knight in shining armor." I said to him softly, seeing him lean back a bit and scoot closer to me, out knees and thigh touching along with our arms and shoulder blades. This was as close to hugging as we were going to get right now, and he was trying to hard to bring me some kind of comfort right now. I looked away from him again, breathing in deeply as I then saw someone walking over to us from the muddy ground. He was sporting his winter attire with the jacket combat gear and a big bag over his shoulders. It was his blue eyes that were crystal bright that made me smile big, because they belonged to my friend whom I haven't seen in months.

"Web?" I asked aloud, seeing the boy now look over at me with his own wide eyes and an open mouth in appreciation. He grinned at me, walking along out truck as I the leaned over the side to see him more. He looked good from coming away from the hospital, fresh and with nothing tainting him from being so kind.

"Heya Jem. You look like you've seen better days." He commented gently to me, though the others weren't looking a thin and just trying to keep themselves warm enough to get through the ride. I was just glad Webster was back, safe and around with nothing harming him and his foot looking better already. He must have seen the scars on my face, though from where he was they didn't look so detailed. I would have to tell him later what happened to me.

"And you look like a million bucks!" I replied back with a sarcastic remark and with a wink to give him. I have missed Webster, hearing his own chuckle here and there and how we would swap books with each other. It wasn't the same without my other half of the book club. He rearranged the bag on his shoulder as he was still walking along the truck I was on, his eyes never leaving me.

"What happened to you guys?" He asked in pure curiosity. He must have seen how we all looked worn out to the point of being broken, We all were colorless now, no longer filled with joy and eagerness to help the other.

"I don't know where to start." I replied back in a lower register, which was really true to be fair. There was no real way of telling him all that happened. He could see this on my face, his peppy step was slowing a bit now that he was realizing the gravity of our situation. I just stared back at him, a small smile on my face but it was still lowering the more we moved in the truck. Webster then pointed ahead to the truck in front of us, where I knew Joe and the rest of the boys were.

"I'll catch up with you later, I'm gonna see these guys." Webster explained having me nod once as he trotted off to get to the truck there. I sighed, leaning back against the boards behind me and looking ahead again. It was already bad enough that I had to put on a brave face to an old friend, so how hard was it going to be now that I had to tell the rest of the men about my Epilepsy? It made my head hurt all over again, the headache ripping through my skull and making me want to cringe out in pain.

"He has no idea, does he?" I looked up and I could see Bull looking at me, his eyes drilling into my own and he too lost the luster in his own bright eyes. Poor Webster, not having a single clue as to how we got out of Bastogne with only a small piece of our own humanity hanging in the balance. He thought we were back to our normal selves again, that nothing changed, but he was wrong.

Dead wrong.

* * *

><p>"We are going to need every available Medic that we have here in this town to help with supply flow and to get ourselves prepped for the next checkpoint." A Head Medic from Bravo Company explained to us as we were shown a map of the surrounding areas. I was with Eugene and Spina, representing Easy as other medics were representing their own companies in a mass call for medical supply runs and the refreshing of new protocols and procedures. Since we were still going to have to get through the bitter cold in France, we were now going over to rules and regulations involved the wounds that could happen here: frostbite, colds and flues, trench foot, and anything else of that nature.<p>

"There is a hospital just outside the city, and we going to have some of you work there to help with the overflow of patients and to also get more supplies that we will need in the future." The Head Medic went on with his rules and the regular routine that we were already aware off, telling us which medics from which company were going to go in tomorrow for the first shirt in the hospital work run. I tried to think back on the subject at hand, but my mind was still feeling so blank, so lost. Almost like I was frozen in time, and there was nothing that was going to pull me out of it.

"Tomorrow, Bravo will be going out to the hospital in the first rotation, and after that will be Easy, and the third day will be Delta. If we need more medics thereafter those three Companies served, then we will hire out some more." The Head Medic explained aloud, having me look back up again and notice that the meeting was done. I got up from the chair, popped by back and then threw the satchel strap over my shoulder. Spina, Eugene and I walked out together from the makeshift meeting room that we were into, back out into the muddy road and the bitter cold that was around the town. I could see, a bit away from us, a makeshift tent was propped up with steam coming from the inside. They were having the men shower, bit by bit. That sounded real nice: a shower. Maybe that's what I needed really.

"Just what we need, a hospital patrol." Spina commented with a hint of annoyance.

"You're not a fan of hospitals, Spina?" Eugene asked as we walked out together, having me look over at him to see his answer.

"Not really, which is ironic since I am a combat medic." Spina replied back, Eugene and I grinning at this point when we approached some of the men from our company who were talking in the middle of the road Johnny, Joe, Cobb, Babe and some others were talking about something under their breaths as we approached them.

"Heya boys." I said to them all as Spina walked away from us going over to talk with another Medic who was walking near us.

"How was the Medic pow-wow meeting?" Johnny asked me in a low tone, trying to sound nice, but something was eating away at him. I could tell. I shoved my hands in my jacket pockets as Eugene grabbed his satchel strap with his fingers.

"No big deal. We're on hospital runs from here on out. We have a shift tomorrow." Eugene explained for me as I could tell on all of their faces that something was going on, something that was making them pissed. I gave Joe a hesitant look, seeing him look angrier compared to the rest of the men.

"What happened with you guys?" I asked in a confused tone, seeing Joe roll his eyes before answering.

"We heard there are men that are going to be selected to go over the river tonight on a patrol, to grab some more German soldiers as prisoners." Joe explained in a cold tone, having both Eugene and I shift a bit uncomfortably in our spots with the news.

"Why would they want to do that now? Why not wait to get a real plan in motion?" I asked in utter annoyance at the whole thing.

"Who knows, but I betcha Webster knows who they want on the roster." Joe replied back, but this time there was a bit of a bite in his tone when he mentioned Webster. Something was going on with Webster and the other men, since they all looked colder when his name was brought into the conversation. I eyed them all, and now I wonder why Webster was now the name to hate.

"Wait a second, why are you talking about Webster like he broke a law or something?" I asked in annoyance now, shifting a bit in front of my twin and seeing him eye me back. I knew that eyeing look he was giving me, I've seen it plenty of times and I was ready for it now: He was ready for a fight.

"Jem, don't worry about it." He said in a lower register, clearly not wanting me to get in the middle of whatever the boys were thinking about when it came to Webster. But I shook my own head.

"Bullshit," I growled back at him, seeing the others in the group look at me now with a hint of fear in their eyes since this was a new side of me that they have never seen before, "For some reason ya'll have a vendetta against Webster ever since he came back with here in town. I want to know why."

"Because he waltzes in here on some mighty horse as if nothing happened since he left. He wasn't there when we froze our asses off and almost died in Bastogne." Joe replied flatly with me, no longer wanting to tip toe around it and just throw it out in the open. I glared at him now, since this to me was pure bullshit and there was no reason behind them giving him the death glare and the murmurs under their breaths. Webster had no reason for that to be placed on him. Of all people.

"And that gives you the right to treat him like utter shit? He did nothing wrong, and yet ya'll are looking at him and talking like he committed a crime." I countered back at him.

"Yeah well, he didn't rush back to the line like Popeye did, same with Joe Toye. He didn't do jack shit." Joe said back to me, his voice as getting a bit higher since he too was trying to keep his own voice down and anger at bay.

"So you're going to give him poor treatment because he didn't suffer with us? Way to treat your fellow soldier in your Company with some decency. I expected more from my brother." I yelled at him at this point, having me then feel Eugene grab my jacket gently between his fingers to almost give me a sign to calm down. But no, Joe and the boys there in front of me were making me mad.

I was mad when Toye and Bill lost their legs, I was mad that Alice died from the explosion, I was mad that my own seizures were getting the best of me, and I was mad that the German Soldier saw me as a piece of meat, almost killing Eugene and I. But now, I was furious at my own men, my own brothers.

"Way to be our moral compass." Joe snarled back at me, giving me the death glare once again as I saw the other men go quiet from what was happening. I shook my head then, making fists with my hands now.

"Oh okay, fine. Let me be your moral compass right now: Get whatever is crawling up your ass out of there and get over the fact that Webster didn't die with the rest of us out there in the fucking snow! Grow the fuck up!" I yelled at him and the men there, my voice booming in front of him now and he said nothing. I then move away from the men and walk away without giving them all a second glance. Eugene walked on with me though I was fuming with the fact that Webster was getting hate for no reason at all. It wasn't right nor fair, and I felt as though I could punch a wall.

"Hey, hang on Jemima." Eugene said softly to me, grabbing my jacket again and I could feel the hotness of his fingers through my jacket and hitting my skin hard. I slowed then, facing one of the buildings and drawing out a shaky breath before I fumbled with my nimble fingers to get out the medication that I needed within that moment. I could feel a seizure coming over me pretty soon, but I wanted to stop it before it began. However, my fingers were too slick with sweat from my anger that I couldn't get the flap open.

"Here." Eugene said softly, grabbing my fingers within his own to move them away. He reached into my flap with a swift manner, grabbing my pills within his hand and pulling them out carefully. I watched as he unscrewed the top of the bottle, getting the lid off and then grabbing one pill to hold in his hand. I took the pill carefully with my shaky hand, then seeing him screw the bottle shut and place it back in my bag as I popped the pill in my mouth.

"Take a drink." Eugene instructed. Although I wanted to not be looked after at this point, I was just glad that Eugene was willing to help out with me. He handed me his canteen, already opened and I took a long drink.

"Thanks." I merely thanked him, seeing him smile as he took his canteen from my hands.

"Don't want you to have another episode, and I know what you said to your brother wasn't worth the seizure. He'll come around, they all will." Eugene explained to me carefully as I looked at him now, seeing that he was giving me a caring look. He never wanted me to lash out against my own brother. He just smiled at me, grabbing my hand carefully and having our fingers touch, almost lacing together when we heard something going off in the distance, it was big enough that it shook the ground we were on. Both Eugene and I snapped our heads over to the sound of one of the buildings falling to our left, down the street and the bricks flying down from the sky like they were snowflakes. Within a moment, we both started to run, past Joe and the rest of the men who were standing around each other. We were back in medic mode, running as fast as our legs could carry us. Even though we both were still recovering from the assault from the German soldier mere days before, the way we ran showed no sign of recovery.

By the time we made it there, it was of no use. Eugene knelt down next to the body of the soldier who fell, his face already showing no life and I just stood over him. The other joined us as we all looked the soldier whom was alive for one second, and was gone the next. I just sighed, looking away from the soldier to the small patch of an island that was our next target when the night came along. For a second, I wanted to find any kind of bomb I can get my hands on and just blow the island up to pieces.

That would make me sleep at night.

* * *

><p>I was already sitting in the makeshift bed that was my bunk for the time being while we were in the town. I chose to sleep away from the men, as usual since it was such a gender issue, and I also had to clear my own thoughts from all that I went through these past few days. My room was two rooms down from the rest of the guys, nothing in there but a dresser and a battered rug on the floor. Even inside was still cold as hell and I was still freezing my ass off. Still, it was better than a foxhole. So it was such a coincidence when Malarky walked into my room with a knock of the door with his knuckles. Looking up, I saw the beard he was wearing now, not to mention how skinny he got since we left Foye. It made me worry since he was no longer cheery. Like the rest of the men, he was being plagued from what happened in the past. For him: Muck and Penkala.<p>

"Hey, Jem. You know about tonight?" He asked me, leaning against the door frame.

"I heard about it: you guys going on a patrol tonight across the river?" I voiced to him to get it right. He nodded his head.

"They want me to take fifteen men, and I'm considering one of them being your brother." He explained, having me watch him carefully. He wanted my brother to go, which should be no big deal but then again you never know these days if someone was going to come out alive anymore from a simple routine of going across a river.

"From what I gathered, he's so happy about it." I sarcastically explained to him.

"I don't blame him. Anyways, we need a German Translator with us and he was first one on the list. They were also considering having a medic come along, just in case something goes south," He voiced, though I could feel the hint go rejections wanting to come out of my throat, "However, after talking about it some more, they don't want to risk another medic getting hurt because of what happened to you. So they're keeping the medics here and you'll come to our aid with the signal."

"Sounds fair enough." I replied to him.

"I'll fill you in on the plan some more, but I wanted to give you a heads up before we go through with it. You get a breather for once, how nice were they to give you one eh?" Malarky asked in almost a cocky grin. I laughed a bit.

"What nice bastards they are. Although, these days I'm a walking mess and I doubt they would have wanted me to be there with you boys any who." I joked though the last part sounded a bit bitter on my own end. Was what I was saying right? Was I getting too messed up to even go out on patrol with them? Was Winters making me stay behind on purpose? I shook it off, thinking that my mind was playing tricks on me again. Malarky was quiet then, giving me what looked like those puppy dog eyes he would bust out once or twice, before shrugging them off and them clearing his throat.

"I also wanted to talk to you about the shower. They're open now, you wanna go shower?" He asked me aloud from the door. I raised an eyebrow at him from my spot on the cot.

"As flattered as I am with that thought, I wouldn't like to shower with you." I replied to him, seeing him chuckle as I grinned at him.

"Don't flatter yourself, although that is a wee bit tempting. The showers are empty and you can go in and take one." Malarky explained to me though I wasn't jumping up with joy at the mere thought of being alone in the shower. Since I was attacked by the German days before, I had no real thirst to being alone since it made me jumpy. I hesitated in my spot on the cot, Malarky watching me with his dark eyes though he stayed still.

"Not real excited to be there alone." I admitted in a small tone, almost shaky since I remembered the last time I was alone: I was attacked. Now it scared me, though it seemed silly. Malarky paused, then seeing what I was saying and then shrugging his shoulders with his hands in his pockets.

"I'll watch the front for you, and we can get someone else there to make sure you have your privacy." Malarky reassured me, "And with this promotion, they can't say no to me. Nor to you, Sergeant. I promise, Jem, nothing's gonna happen to you with me around. Okay?" I grinned at him. I never gave Malarky enough credit as a friend or mine, or any of the men for that matter. He always made sure I was okay, he could be my own moral compass from time to time. I had a weak spot for the redhead, since he was the one who found me after we landed in Germany and protected me up until we found the others. I then slowly started to get up from my spot as someone else pop into the doorway. Malarky and I looked, having me see a new face to the Company. He was cleaner shaved, looking so young and yet like he carried himself. He was taller than Malarky, looking at him with curiosity in his eyes. Though from what I am seeing with Malarky, he wasn't too pleased to see this guy.

"Sir, I've been looking for you to talk abut tonight and the plan." He said to Malarky, sounding so informative as he then looked over at me, wide eyed as I stared back at him. He must have been taken by surprise from what he was seeing: A female Sergeant Combat Medic who was scarred up on her face and hands and with a male haircut. This guys looked young, almost like he was fresh out of a magazine.

"I was talking to Sergeant Liebgott, one of our Combat Medics here in Easy. Jem, this is Lieutenant Jones." Malarky cooly replied as I grabbed my satchel and my peacoat to throw on. He even sounded preppy, too much for me really.

"I didn't mean to interrupt." Jones replied as I was moving past the two of them out of the room, already feeling awkward about the situation.

"No need, I was off taking a shower," I replied back to him casually, then looking over my shoulder at Malarky, "See you there in five?" I could hear nothing from either one of them as I was going down the stairs, heading to my shower and hopefully a refreshing time away from the rest of the men.

"She's a pistol, and you should meet her brother." I could hear Malaky tell him, having me smirk.

* * *

><p>The hot water splashed over me like a rainfall, having me gasp in both relief and in a hint of pain from the prickling hot temperature hitting my body. As promised, Malarky and two others were guarding the tent for me since I was the last one to shower and I had all the time in the world. But as I stood in the shower, I could feel my eyes going over every scar that on my body. Most of them were from the incident at Foye, the deep cuts were now long lines and curved along my skin. The one scar that I knew was never going to leave me, that made me sick to my stomach and want to vomit, was the long thick line along my side from the explosion. It started at the bottom of my hip and moved up along my side to one of my middle ribs, thick and defining with my skin as I touched it carefully with my fingers. It was still red, a fresh scar that was contrasting against the paleness that was there and it was still healing. I wondered if I was ever going to me clean again.<p>

My dog tags were still around my neck, and the Star of David pendant was there along the same chain, having me feel the cold metal against my hot skin when I felt more tears hit my skin from my eyes. This shower that bringing back all the haunting memories and the haunting pains that I tried to press away and forget. Bill and Toye losing their legs, Tipper being sent home and almost shambles because of the damage, Buck almost losing his own sanity, seeing the dark side of my twin brother with his view of the Germans, and plenty of other short memories. I remembered the battle in Carentan and how many times I barely escaped death, Operation Market Garden and how I was shot in the head but was saved by my helmet, having to dig out a bullet from Eugene's leg, the countless cold nights in Bastogne and of course almost being killed in Foye from the bomb going off.

I then thought of the deaths: Hobbler, Muck, Penkala, Julian, Alice, and countless others. Their faces filled my mind, their cries for help and how they were no longer alive to see the end of the war. That pushed me over the edge, since they were so young and so careful that they too were cheated by death. I felt more tears hit the floor but they were disguised with the shower water. It was pathetic, how I was crying in the shower by myself, naked and exposed for only myself to see how I was now no longer strong, not as strong as I once was. How many more days, weeks or months did I have to get through in order to get away from this shithole of a war? How much longer can I take? I just breathed in, the water washing my tears away and making me feel clean again. But I could never be clean, never again.

* * *

><p>I woke up, hearing nothing at first, but the creaking of the room that I was in since the night was having a slow breeze coming through the area. I could breathe in the wood of the room, having me stay still in my cot with my knees bent and the arm jacket draped over me. After I showered, I went back to my cot to go read, but I ended up falling asleep. Now I figured it was late into the night, and some of our men were going on the patrol to the island to get the prisoners. It made me worry, was Joe going out there?<p>

I felt like shit after I yelled at him. Sure he was a dick to Webster, but I knew he too was suffering from all that happened to us and he was just trying to get his own mind together from what was going on. I wanted to go find him, but I figured it was the middle of the night and I had no idea where he was.

A knock was at the doorway, having me look up and over from my spot. Someone walked into the room as I was still in my cot, not moving as I felt the cot dip from someone sitting there. As soon as they placed a gentle hand in my hair, I knew it was Eugene. I looked up at me, seeing him peer down at me and smile at me. I was still out of it to be around the other guys, and they could tell I needed space for myself and myself alone. But not Eugene, he was still willingly to sit next to me as he then grabbed the flap of his own satchel, fishing out a very thin book that only have at least 100 pages in it. It looked torn, almost about to give up on itself as he pointed to the book.

"Webster told me to give it to you before he went out on the patrol tonight. Want me to read it to you?" Eugene asked with hope in his voice. I nodded, moving back to the wall as Eugene settled on the cot with me, We both used my peacoat as a pillow as he then held up the book with one hand, the other hand around my shoulders to pull me to him. My arms automatically wrapped around his waist with my head in the crook of his neck as he tried to find some page.

"Where's the page….oh there it is." Eugene replied, seeing a particular page and holding it open as I got settled in his embrace. I breathed him in: smoke from outside, the spicy man scent that everyone wore on themselves, but his was different. It was almost soothing, like a soft rain. He also smelled of chocolate, for some reason since we were in Bastogne, he started to always smell like chocolate.

" '_It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know by the name of Annabel Lee;- And this maiden she lived with no other thought, than to love and be loved by me. She was a child and I was a child, In this kingdom by the sea, but we loved with a love that was more than love- I and my Annabel Lee- With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven Coveted her and me._' " Eugene read, having me then look up at him since he was a bit higher than me on the cot.

"Are you trying to seduce me? What kind of book is this?" I asked him in wonder, seeing him grin and rub his knuckles against my arm.

"It's a poetry book." He simply replied, having me grin now from ear to ear from getting the feeling that he was trying to butter me up. I never took Eugene as that type of man, but then again he was always surprising me.

"And now you're a fan of poetry?" I asked him again, almost being cocky as he shrugged his shoulders.

"You want me to read to you or not?" He asked me, having me nod my head and then feel him kiss my head as he turned the page with his finger. I looked at the page he was on now, noticing that it was a bit dark now and he could hardly see. I then grabbed my satchel with one arm, pulling out the flashlight there to place it in my jacket pocket on the front. Turning on the light, I saw the page more clearly as Eugene read the next poem on the page:

" '_Bright star, would I were steadfast as thou art Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night, And watching, with eternal lids apart, Like nature's patient sleepless _eremite_, The moving waters at their priestlike task Of pure ablution round earth's human shores, Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask Of snow upon the mountains and the moors; No yet still steadfast, still unchangeable, Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast, To feel for ever its soft fall and swell, Awake for ever in a sweet unrest, Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath, And so live ever or else swoon to death_.' " Eugene read, and for some reason, I loved hearing him read love poems. It sounded so beautiful coming from him, and yet it was also soothing. This was our routine together reading to each other with books that we found along the way in the war. My hold around his waist tightened slightly from hearing that poem, almost making feel a warm sensation coiling in my stomach.

"This one's my favorite," Eugene said to me softly as he moved a few pages over to find a new poem that I haven't seen before. His fingers against my arm still, wrapping around my skin carefully without hurting me as he leaned his head against my own. I could feel his lips against my forehead moving as he read the poem in almost a hum.

" '_It was rather beautiful: the way he put her insecurities to sleep. The way he dove into her eyes and starved all the fears and tasted all the dreams she kept coiled beneath her bones._' " Eugene whispered against my skin, though I could tell his eyes were still on the page. Something shifting within me then, and I had no idea what it was and how it was shaping me. But the next thing I knew, I looked up at him, seeing that our noses were touching since we were looking right at each other, very close enough to kiss but neither one of us moved from our spots on the cot. Eugene was looking right at me, still holding the book in his hand but all of his focus was right one me. It was warm suddenly in the room, all from just staring at him and being pressed up against him on a twin cot. Everything inside of me was getting warmer and warmer, all from just being this close to Eugene. We never had time to be alone, not like this. So why was this both feeling like we were about to break a rule, and amazing at the same time.

"Why is that your favorite?" I asked him, though it was barely a whisper since it felt like we were about to kiss. Why was I getting this sudden warmth flooding me when in the past few days all I as feeling was the coldness and the bitter feeling of reality.

"Because that's how I feel about you, what I wanted to do for you." Eugene merely replied to me, almost touching my lips with his and I could tell he was telling the truth, in which he then kissed me square on the mouth. I sighed into the kiss, kissing him right back and hearing him drop the book to the floor with the sound echoing off the walls there in the small room. Eugene cupped my cheek with the hand that was once holding the book, the other hand was in my hair and almost holding me there to make sure I wasn't going to disappear.

Both of my arms were still around his waist, though now I moved my hands to just grab his jacket and not let go. This was beyond amazing for me, having my own head swim once again in adrenaline and with a high coming over me. The more we kissed, the bolder it was getting for the both of us since we were always so gentle and careful with one another. Eugene's hand that was in my hair left to go to my back, clutching my jacket for dear life and having me hear him groan as I kissed him deeply then, no longer caring and wanting him to feel what I was feeling for him.

But his lips left my own, having me suddenly ask if I did something wrong. However, his lips were on my neck now, having me really try so hard not to moan out loud in the middle of the room and look like a teenager school girl getting laid. This was setting off another explosion in my chest as I threw one hand into his hair, having to hold onto something, anything, to not fall off the bed. His hands clutching my jacket in a death grip, lips against my neck and kissing the scars there, his body against mine, it was all too much and not enough at the same time.

"_Gott helve mir." _(God help me) I gasped out between my lips as his own lips were along my jawline, kissing each scar that was there and he then moved away from me, looking at me now with concern in his eyes. His lips were ruby red, blush was on his cheeks and his breathing was erratic. If he looked like this, what did I look like? I was trying to breathe as well since it was so short and shallow and his eyes were dark beyond dilation now.

"What did you say?" He asked me in intrigue, but he was short and a breathy tone since he was trying to control his breathing. I didn't say anything at first, but I just looked at him and saw what kind of state he was in. I did that to him, and it made me feel proud.

"I'm not sayin' anything to you." I replied back in a smirk, seeing him break out into a huge grin, "Hell of a way to read poetry to me." Eugene looked down for a second since I gave him such a compliment, the smile never leaving his face as he then looked back at me now with a warmth there again.

"I've wanted to kiss you like that for awhile I guess, but I never got the nerve." He confessed softly, tracing my jawline and neck now with his fingers. It was like the rest of the world, including the war, melting away and we are in our own bubble again. I needed this, the bubble around us so that we wouldn't be touched or stained from the outside sins.

"Why haven't you?" I asked him with a shrug of my shoulders. He paused, collecting his own thought before his answer was heard in our small area on the cot.

"You were trying to get yourself back together, and I didn't want to kiss you unless you were ready for one." Eugene explained simply, having me suddenly feel my own heart tear from what he told me. He didn't want to push it with me because he saw me in pain and knew that I needed to heal. I was only thinking about myself and my own demons, too blinded to see Eugene next to me the whole time. He was holding my hands, silently telling me that he that he was hurting for me.

"You're far too good for me, you know that right?" I asked him, since I knew that was the truth, "You never moved away from me when I would think other guys would."

"You're worth more than that, Jemima." Eugene answered back, having me really see that he meant it. Something then filled the air, something loud and thundering. We both snapped up from the bed, fearing the worst since we could hear it was gunfire. It was rapid and it was close. I gasped out, hopping off the bed as I looked over to the window, seeing the sky light from the gunfire. Running over, I peered out the window and I could feel the cold air hitting my heated face hard. It was to my left, having me see that the island was now being attacked on, yelling and gunfire was all over the place.

"It's the island." I said aloud, then looking behind me. I saw Eugene already off the bed, his helmet on and he was clutching my satchel and helmet in his hands as he walked over to the door with a determined look on his face. We were back in Medic mode, and as I walked over to join him, he tossed me my satchel. I threw it over my shoulder, the both of us running down the stairs to the area now. He then gave me my helmet, having me throw it on. Our moment together was long gone, but we were determined to get it back sometime soon in the future.

As soon as we left the building, we ran again with our legs pumping and seeing one soldier running over to us. We both came to a halt as he came, looking horrid on his face.

"You have to come with us, Jackson's been hit and we need you. Come on!" He said, running then again to the place where he came from and we followed. The firing was still going on near the area, and they were in what looked like a basement. We followed the soldier as he lead us down a few steps into a basement that looked like it was about to collapse. Soldiers were all around, and I could both American and German soldiers there. The Germans were held captive, but we moved to the one wounded boy who was on the pile of bricks and wood: Jackson.

I went over to Jackson first, looking down at him and seeing the damage already done to his face. This was not good, since half of his face already look melted off in blood and skin. One of his eyes was melted off in another part of his face, and he was gasping for air. I knew this was nothing close to being fine, but I had to show on my face that he was in good hands. The men crowded around me as I tried to work on him, thinking of a way to look more at his face though it was dark. He then sounded like he was about to choke, having me place my ear near his mouth and hear the gagging already happening.

"Jem?" I heard in front of me, seeing that it was Webster that asked what was going on.

"Give me a light." I commanded once, seeing someone flip open their lighter as I looked at Eugene.

"Tilt his head back so we can open his mouth to breathe." I ordered him, seeing him grab Jackson's jaw and tilt him back. I placed two fingers on his bottom teeth so he can open his mouth and breathe, the light having me see his face more clearly. He was for certain disabled in the face now, and it was nowhere close to being fixed. Everyone around us was quiet as both Eugene and I looked at his face to see what to do.

"Look at the light. There you go." Eugene urged Jackson as he did this, his one eye shining from the light there.

"You have any ideas?" I asked Eugene, looking over at him and seeing Jackson still trying to breathe.

"Let's get him out of here." Eugene said aloud, and the men moved out of the way for the stretcher to come over. Eugene pulled me aside as they placed him there, but all we could hear was him moaning and sobbing.

"I don't wanna die!" he said over and over as they were carrying him out. But another bomb hit the top of the building, forcing the men to place him back on the floor and both Eugene and I rushed over to his side. He was saying it, over and over as I then knelt down next to him. I had to help him, I had to show him somehow that he was going to be fine. So I scooped him up into my arms, holding him close like a mother would to a child as Eugene clutched his throat from bleeding.

"You're not going to die, do you hear me?! I have you now, you're not going to die on me, Jackson! You need to breathe!" I yelled at him over the sounds of the bombing that was still going on. He gagged in my arms, trying to breathe, but it was no use. I was watching him die in my arms as if he was my own son.

"Jackson!" Eugene called out once more, but it was no use. With one last gagging breath, Jackson died there that very night. I paused, still holding him in my arms and feeling nothing but pain as I lowered him back on the cot, seeing Eugene throw off his helmet in frustration. I did the same, though I was slower at it and still looking at Jackon's face. Johnny Martin came over with a blanket, throwing it over his face as I closed my eyes again.

I wanted to go home.


	26. Chapter 26

I walked out of the basement with my helmet in my hands, feeling as bad as ever since I watched a mere boy die in my arms. It was still late into the night, and the firing stopped then having it be safe to walk around some more. But no one spoke, no one was happy or satisfied. They had Webster there, so there was no need for a German translator, not from me. So after Jackson's body was taken, I walked out of the basement and out into the cold night of the ruined city.

I was covered in dirt from the basement and it's protection over us from the bombs. It was better than blood I guess since I was caked in it so many times. I ran my dirty fingers in my hair, now dirty again from being clean for once in this whole damn war. I felt heavy in the heart again, and I wondered if there was ever going to be any feeling of lightness inside of me again when this war was over. Probably not.

"You alright, _chere_?" I heard behind me, seeing Eugene walking over to me. I didn't hear him come out of the basement, but I was just glad he was right there. I breathed out slowly, feeling him stay close enough to have me feel them there but not holding my hand.

"How old was he?" I asked him softly.

"I don't know." Eugene replied, having me then look over at him now and see him watch me with the dirt on his own face.

"He looked like a child…a freaking kid." I explained.

"I know he did," Eugene responded to me, "But there was nothing we could do to help him. It was too damaging for us to help him."

"Yeah, yeah I know." I agreed, the both of us coming to that mutual agreement. But then we both looked and saw someone coming out of the building that was closest to the bank of the river that in between us and the island. We both waited to see who it was, but I then knew that lanky figure from anywhere, even with the peacoat on his shoulders couldn't hide the fact that it was my very brother. I was too consumed with the fact that Jackson just died and that the rest of the men were almost dead as it was from the bombing, to realize that Joe didn't even go across. I didn't look for him in the basement, I was trying to save a life. But he was there, not in the basement and not hurt.

"What happened?" He asked casually, as if it was nothing. I was floored on seeing him, looking at the both of us confused and with his arms wrapped around himself to keep warm, even in his peacoat and with his helmet on.

"You weren't on the island." I stated in a ghostly manner, as if this was not real and merely a dream. Joe nodded his head slowly, as if this was a dumb question or statement for me to say aloud. It was like we never fought earlier that day, with any hostility or awkwardness between us.

"They placed me with the machine gun upstairs in case things went sour. Webster went for me since he figured he could be a translator for me." He stated as if it was nonchalant. But I didn't hear it, I practically jumping into his arms and hugged him tightly, so glad that he was alive and okay. Joe was frozen solid at first, though my arms were around him in a vice grip, but he then softly hugged me back, not sure what else to do. I just sighed into his jacket, both feeling like shit for our argument and happy that he was alive and safe.

"You're alive." I gasped into his embrace, trying so hard not to cry since it was all overwhelming at this point. Joe still held me gently, compared to my tight hold around his waist. After a solid second or two of us just holding each other in the middle of the destruction that was once a town, Joe pulled away and gave me his signature grin.

"Of course I'm alive, Jemmie. What else would I be?" He asked in a confused manner, having me grin at him as he then looked over at Eugene, "What happened?"

"Jackson's dead." Eugene replied from behind me, Joe's face was having a hint go pain there as he got the news of his friend and his death. I still pained me, knowing that the boy died in my arms. It almost made me feel out of body in the way it happened, and I tried so hard no to cry in front of my brother.

"I'm sorry. I tried to save him, I really did…..I'm sorry that I yelled at you and…Jesus." I gasped out, like I was holding it within my chest for some time and now it was coming out of me like an explosion or a damn releasing all of the water. Joe could see what was about to happen to me, shaking his head and pulling me back into his hug again. I wasn't crying, but just trying to breathe in and out with the familiarity that was my brother.

"Hey, hey it's okay. You're okay, alright? I know you tried, I know you did." Joe said to me over and over as we hugged again in the middle of the street. I was glad I was talking to my brother again, no longer having the awkwardness between us from having a fight and me yelling at him to grow up. Hell, he already grew up, we all did from the moment we landed in Normandy. Maybe even before then too, but he was already old beyond his years.

"You know, you're braver than me. Hell of a lot braver than you give yourself credit for, you know that, Jemmie?" Joe said to me as he still held me close in his arms. I said nothing, but just listened to him as he was to somehow calm me down, "I don't think I can ever go through what you go through every fuckin' day out here. Don't ever forget how strong you are, don't ever fucking forget it, you hear me?"

It was a nice moment with us on the street, though it just as bitter as the cold night that threatened to freeze us all.

* * *

><p>The very next morning I went to the sleeping quarters, where I knew some of the men are going to be there since they had nowhere else to sit. When I walked into the room, my bags were braided to the side with a pin and my hair wavy from the cold in the air, I could see all of their faces were still drinking in the fact that they were helpless and had nothing else to give. The patrol, though successful, felt like a disaster to the rest of us. Babe and Perconte were against one side of bunks on the right, Malarky and Joe were on the left with Joe on the top bunk. When I walked in, I could see all of their faces on me as I let out a shaky breath.<p>

"You okay?" Perconte asked me, having me watch him with me intense brown eyes and shrug it off my shoulders. I knew that he wanted to know about me and how I was holding up, since I was practically holding Jackson when he died.

"I'll live." I merely said back to him, seeing him watch me with the concern on his face as I then saw Malarky inched towards me a bit, wearing his beanie on his head as he watched me carefully too.

"You don't sound like yourself anymore, Jem." Malarky voice out, having me say nothing as I leaned against the bunk were Perconte and Babe were at.

"I don't?" I asked, not wanting to sound coy or playful but just sounding less optimistic.

"Not at all, not the Jem we know." Malarky went on. I knew he didn't want to poke fun at me, or make me feel bad, but he was just tell me what the others were thinking of.

"Easy, Malarky." Joe warned him, but I shook my head from my brother defending me.

"I just watched and felt a mere boy die in my arms last night, Malarky. If that hasn't changed me and who I think I am…then I don't know what to tell you." I explained to him carefully, though the mere mention of Jackson left a bitter taste in my tongue and it made me sound like I was about to cry. No one said anything then, and I don't think they wanted to since I just let out what was holding me back from being my true self. It was one thing to see someone die in front of you, but it was another to see someone die in your arms, to feel their temperature drop to cold and their eyes so cold like glass right there in your lap. To me, he was a child that had no right to die here in this horrid place.

To me, he was a child that had no right to die here in this horrid place.

* * *

><p>I joined the rest of the men in the meeting room, seeing all of them sitting around and drinking in the fact that one of our, once again, died in front of us and we couldn't have done anything at all to help the cause. I wanted to talk to Webster and see how he was doing before I went off to my shift at the hospital with Spina and Eugene that evening. But by the time I got to the basement, it was already looking bad for everyone there. They weren't in high spirits, all sitting in silence and wondering when the pain was going to stop. Though Johnny Martin had a knick on his hand and neck from the patrol, so I sat next to him and got to work to mending it. However, when I started, I could feel the tension in the room was about to go sour within seconds.<p>

"Watcha lookin' at, Webster?" I looked up from my spot working on Johnny's hand, seeing that it was Cobb, drunk off his ass, at one end of the room and he was about to start a fight with Webster, whom was sitting across from me at the table. I watched carefully, then moving my hand on top of Johnny's with my towel to clean the wound.

"Yeah, that's what I thought, college boy." He cooly replied since Webster said nothing. I felt bad for Webster now, thinking that once again he was getting blame and criticism for something he had no control over what was happening in his own life. I felt the same way. That was when the clean shaven Lieutenant Jones spoke up at him now.

"Are you drunk, trooper?"

"Leave me alone." Cobb warned him.

"Answer the question." He advised him carefully and with authority. Cobb now glared at him, the bottle still in hand.

"Yes sir, I am drunk, sir." He huffed out with annoyance, "Drunk, sick and tired of these fucking patrols, taking orders…" It was then when Johnny pulled away from me aiding him, though he looked around his shoulder at the drunk Cobb and was giving him a death glare.

"Hey, Cobb. Shut up. It's boring, okay?" He asked though his voice was showing no remorse for the guy. I watched carefully next to him as he was giving Cobb the look of death.

"You takin' his side, Johnny?" Cobb pushed with his voice being a bit lighter now as Johnny looked back over at Webster and at me.

"Yeah, I am." He replied simply. having me carefully watch Cobb and see how far gone he was with the booze in hand. He eyed me now, seeing that I was watching him, having me realize that I was now in his line of fire.

"You have somethin' smart to say to me, Leibgott?" He asked me in a dark tone, then taking another swig from the bottle. I stayed still in my spot next to Johnny, not moving or showing any sign of weakness to him.

"Lay off of her, Cobb," Webster warned him carefully, "Don't you dare start a fight with Jem."

"I wasn't talkin' to ya, was I?" Cobb barked back at Webster, who fell silent as Cobb was still drilling his eyes into my own.

"Don't think you're scaring me, Cobb. I've dealt with worse men who can hold their liquor better than you can." I wanted him carefully and with a gentle tone. I wanted him to know to back off, but not to sound like a bitch in front of the rest of the men.

"And you think you're better than me, don't ya?" He asked me back in a challenging manner. I could see Johnny from the corner of my eye about to snap into a two piece from how Cobb was talking to me, since it was both the bitterness of war and the alcohol making him this way. I could fight him, smartly tell him off, but I wanted to be a better person. After all, I was still called the moral compass of the boys there, and I was going to be just that.

"Go outside and walk it off before you get yourself in more trouble." I warned him carefully and with kindness there, but he then snapped within a second. He slammed the bottle to the side of the brick wall next to him, shattering the silence and all of us seeing the bottle shatter expect for the handle and half that was still attached. Cobb pointed the shattered end at me, a look of death was on his face since I told him to walk away from a fight. Was it a punch to the ego? I stood up as he did this, Johnny and Webster joining me. Johnny threw his arm out in front of shield me, pushing me behind him as he was facing Cobb now. The other soldiers in the room bounced away from Cobb now, standing up and in dead silence from the pure shock of it all.

"Cobb, cool the hell off and put the bottle down." Johnny warned him, but Cobb was frozen in his spot.

"I'm not takin' her shit anymore!" he growled out at Johnny, though he was still looking at me with death in his eyes. I wasn't scared, not really. But this was still new enough for Cobb, a bit extreme for him none the less.

"Calm the fuck down, Cobb! Jesus, you're gonna hurt yourself." Johnny tried again to tell him off, but Cobb was frozen with the broken glass bottle in hand. I stayed still, but glare right back at him as Johnny turned his head slightly over to me.

"Webster, escort the Sergeant back to her sleeping area right now." Johnny ordered over his shoulder at Webster, who moved around the table to be next to me. Webster grabbed my jacket, tugging my gently with him.

"Come on, Jem." Webster urged softly to me, though I saw Cobb take a step towards me with anger flaring in his eyes, and the hand that was holding the broken bottle shaking now with anger.

"She's giving me hell with her smart ass comments!" Cobb roared out loud as Johnny was still in front of me, blocking me from him.

"And you're threatening a Sergeant with a weapon, Private Cobb!" Johnny roared back at him, and no one in the area was moving after hearing Johnny yell at Cobb. This must have been a great sight to see with everyone, one deranged soldier who was drunk threatening a female medic. Cobb said nothing but glared at me as Web pulled me along from behind Johnny.

"Let's go, come on, Jem." Webster whispered to me as I then looked away from Cobb now, still hearing nothing as I exited the building and went out into the street again. I hated knowing that we were now going to have to fear each other when it came to the balance between sane and insanity. I had to find my own balance again since it was always teetering back and forth the moment I signed my life away to the war.

I had to find myself again.

* * *

><p>I stood in front of the whole group of Easy Company, having me see all of their faces on me as I cleared my throat. The day after the patrol and the death of Jackson, I decided I had to tell them all about my epilepsy. There was never going to be a real right time to tell them about it, I knew that from the beginning. Better for them to know now then later in life, when I lied to them the whole time. They were all there, and some of the officers were standing to the side.<p>

"So…I don't know how to say this without having it sound awkward," I confessed to them all, though they were just as confused as to what was going on. Without realizing it, I looked over Lipton, who was standing to the side with Spiers and he gave me a reassuring smile. I was glad he knew, since he gave me enough confident to tell the boys now in the late morning. Looking back at the men, I saw Joe watch me carefully. He gave me a small nod to give his own approval, and then Eugene who was sitting next to him. He nodded as well, and since I had the blessing of three of my friends, I had no other reason not to tell them or hold it way from them.

"I haven't told any of your what's been going on with me, for awhile really." I pronounced out loud, seeing some of them now look at me with some concern. Bull looked the most concern, along with Malarky and Shifty, the rest were still confused as to what was going on.

"I have a…disability that has been affecting me since I was born." I simply explained, seeing a couple of my friends squirm in their seats from hearing the news. So far, so good, at least to me. No one was angry or furious at me.

"What do you mean by a disability, Jem?" Bull asked, having me think he was voicing out the same questions that everyone else was thinking about. I cleared my throat now, looking down at my pale hands for a moment to almost have a panic attack. But when I looked up, locking eyes with Eugene who was right behind Bull, he only gave me a serious look and then mouthed to me "you're okay". I breathed out the breath that was held in, suddenly getting strength back in my system again.

"I have acute Epilepsy." I voice out aloud, and from what I was seeing with the men, it looked like I clearly dropped a bomb in front of them. No one moved, nor did they say a single word. They were all floored from what I told them, and I could see that some of them had no idea what it meant. I just waited for something or someone to say something. Babe ran his hand over his face in pure shock, Perconte was at a loss of words, Luz had the look of someone who's heart was broken, Malarky's own mouth was hanging open, Bull's eyebrows were knitted together, Shifty looked like he was about to be sick, Sisk was silent, Webster was opened mouthed in shock and his blue eyes were drilling into my own, and the rest were not saying anything.

"What does that even mean?" Malarky asked now, "What's Epilepsy?" I was about to answer him, but someone else did it for me.

"It's seizures. She gets seizures. " Shifty voice out hesitantly, all of the men were looking at him now as he was staring right at me with an uneasiness in his face and eyes. It looked like he wanted to vomit, and who could blame him? I nodded my head slowly as he swallowed something deep.

"Is that true, Jem?" Christenson asked in disbelief as the men looked back at me, having me breathe out slowly once again.

"Yes." I replied, seeing them all now drinking it again and no longer looking happy about.

"I don't get it. How can you have seizers when we haven't seen them?" Perconte asked in a hint of annoyance in his voice. I saw Joe shift uncomfortably in his spots, hands in his pockets and a look of annoyance from what Perconte asked.

"Because it only happened every once in awhile," I explained to him carefully, "I was born with it, and I've tried to hide it from you all since I met you guys in training. It doesn't affect how I perform as a medic, and it never did while we were fighting."

"But you have them." Bull stated, trying to make sure he had it right, "You've had them since we landed in Normandy?"

"I have." I replied back to Bull, seeing him take out a shaky breath before someone else spoke up, Webster.

"How bad are they?" He voiced, and everyone was still looking at me to hear more about it.

"They're not too bad, Web. I get nosebleeds before they happen—" I started to explain, but Shifty cut me off yet again.

"Which is why you always run off, when you have a nosebleed." He voiced out, having me hear murmurs amongst the men. They knew I had nosebleeds, and now it was all making sense to them now. I stayed quiet as I looked over at Winters and Lipton, having me see him eye me and show me that they were supporting me. I could see it in their eyes, they weren't hating me, nor giving me judgment. They were supportive none the less

"But they're not bad, are they?" Webster asked me in worry, thinking of the worst as I shook my head.

"No, I promise they're not. I can get along fine after I have one, trust me." I reassured him.

"But Jem, why didn't you tell us before?" Luz asked, having me look over at him and see the hurt that was clearly there in his face and in his big eyes as he was looking right at me. I sighed then, folding my hands in front of me in hopes that I could feel the blood pumping under my skin as I did this, to know that this was reality and no nightmare.

"I didn't tell any of you…because I was afraid of being judged by you all," I explained slowly, not looking at them all at first, since they all wanted to now the truth anyways, "It was frowned upon from where I came from…along with the fact that I'm a Jew." I looked up again after mentioning that, my eyes going straight to my twin brother's. Joe looked a bit grimaced when I mentioned the fact I was frowned upon as a child because I was a Jew, because he went through it too as my brother and better half.

"Even though I was cleared by the army since they didn't see it as a hazard, I was still scared of you guys and what you were going to think of me." I explained some more, though they are still confused as to why I didn't tell them. I was waiting for one of them to yell at me, for one of them to kick a chair in frustration, but that didn't happen. So I planted my eyes on Eugene, hoping to find some kind of anchor in looking at him. I found the anchor within a second of looking at him, seeing him stare at me with intensity. He was once in the same position as the men when I told him for the first time in Bastogne, the same look of disbelief he had was now on the men around him. But at that moment in the large room, I didn't see a look of pain, but a look of admiration and love from him. He wasn't smiling, but I could tell he was with his eyes and how they were silently telling me that I was okay.

"Jem," Someone called my name, having me look away from Eugene and finally see who called out. It was Bull, who was no longer looking confused, but a bit hurt from what I told them all.

"You shouldn't have been afraid of us," He state simply, shrugging his shoulders and sound a bit soft, "We weren't gonna think of you differently."

"Yeah," Sisk agreed, sitting up a bit in his spot, "I mean, you're one of us, a part of Easy. We look out for each other." I smiled from hearing how enthusiastic he was talking when he mentioned us being a team together. I saw all of the men nodding their heads and smiling in agreement when Sisk stated this, having me just grin.

"I guess I was too prideful to admit that to you fellas since ya'll clearly see me as one of the guys." I tried to joke with them, seeing big grins on their faces now and a few of them chuckling when I was using my own sassiness on them all, no longer scared of their own remarks to the news.

"I think you're more than just a pretty face in our Company," Luz commented, lighter in tone now than he was before when he spoke with pain, "From what we've all seen from ya since we met ya, you're one of the strongest in this Company. So I think this Epilepsy can go straight to hell." I saw him wink at me with his grin back on his face as the other men cheered in agreement from the remark.

"You were a true member of Easy Company from the moment you gave us sass in the mess hall." Perconte added to the banter.

"Amen to that." Bull said in his Arkansas accent. I felt as though a weight was lifted over me now, no longer having to tip toe around these men and hide what was harboring me since I was a child, even younger than that. They all accepted me as their own, their sister in the brotherhood that they had. I unfolded my hands then, no longer wanting to keep the reality there and just let it come over me like a baptism really, the washing of the past with the water that was cleansing and soothing. I finally looked back at Eugene again, seeing him smile at me again and bring me the peace once more within my heart and soul. All was well with Easy, as it may seem.

All was so well.


	27. Chapter 27

**March 9th, 1945**

**Sturzleberg, Germany**

"Come with me, will ya Jem?" Spiers asked me as I was getting another round of medical supplies into my satchel and helping the other recruited Combat Medics with theirs. Most of them needed help with what to pack and how to pack it, which was where I came in. Since I was the only Sergeant Combat Medic in the area, and there were other Companies with us at this checkpoint, I was in charge of the medical drop offs and reassignments with the new CM's, getting them ready and well trained in the basic combat skills that might come in handy. It was late morning now, and I was working with about 5 new recruited members that just came into the German town we were stationed at.

Ever since we came to Germany, after leaving the frozen town in France, it was now warmer and we were no longer having the bitterness on our backs because of the cold. It felt right again with our Company, so I just assumed that we were no longer one to be in the cold, or at least like it. It was also strange that we weren't really seen as hostile enemies to the Germans that we encountered when we rolled through town to town. Maybe it was because the war was winding down, and we haven't been called into battle since Foye. No, we were just going from town to town, in and out, over and over until we reached this one town to stay at for awhile.

"Sure thing, sir." I replied back to Spiers, who was waiting a bit away from me. I looked back at the other seasoned CM, who's nickname was Ace from Beta Company. He was a bit younger than me with blond hair and bright green eyes. A handsome face that looked young, but none the less seasoned since he too jumped in Normandy with his own Company. He knew a thing or two about being a Combat Medic, which was what I needed. Eugene and Spina were off on another hospital run for Easy, getting supplies for us personally.

"Takeover for me and get them squared away with the gauze protocol. I'll be back in a bit to check up on them. You're doing a good job, Ace." I instructed him, giving him a small smile and he nodded his head.

"Yes ma'am, thank you ma'am." He said back, taking over with the new recruit I was working with as I moved away from our small circle of CM's to Spiers. He had a holding tray that was in his hands, it made me raise an eyebrow to him as I followed him down the street and to an apartment house.

"You looking after the new CM's?" he asked me over his shoulder but casually and with some authority behind it. I tried to keep up with him, hands behind my back and a pep in my step.

"Yes, sir. We got at least a dozen new CM's, although none of them are assigned to Easy, sir." I explained to him as he opened the door to go into the apartment.

"I figured, we have three CM's and none of you died yet. We must have luck on our side." Spiers said with a tone of optimism in his voice. I grinned from the thought: Eugene, Spina and I being full of luck since Easy was one of the very few Companies that still had their Medics alive and well. We reached the second floor, in which Spiers started to yell one name:

"Janovec? Janovec!" He called twice as we walked down a hallway and were about to go into one room. I could hear the commotion inside the room, wondering what was going on. But it was all a sudden burst of embarrassment, when Spiers and I walked into a room with a very naked soldier, who was facing us. There was a female in the bed, also naked but was covered with the blanket. I immediately shot turned my head and slammed my eyes shut, this was not what I was thinking I was going to be seeing.

"Christ almighty." I swore, but I didn't hear anything from Spiers. I was trying so hard not to look like an old maid then, but just seeing a new private naked in front of me was already embarrassing enough. I could hear shuffling around, like he was grabbing something to cover himself.

"Sir." Janovec said aloud, having me think that he was saluting Spiers now.

"Where's my stuff?" I heard Spiers asked calmly but with a stern tone laced in it.

"I-I thought I'd leave it over there, sir." Janovec answered in a stammer though I stayed still in the hallway when I heard Spiers grab whatever else he needed from the room. He then exited, grabbing my hands at were at my side and placing the silver plate in them.

"Come on, Liebgott." He urged me gently, the both of us walking away and having me open my eyes again. That was some sight to see, and I don't think I would be telling anyone about it anytime soon. What am embarrassment, for me it felt like it was we were walking down the stairs now? Spiers had his own silver tray that had silver candlestick holders and other silver trinkets balancing on the top. I had the one plate and a few other little silver items on the top, holding it close to my chest to make sure none of it fell off.

"Who was that, Sir?" I asked him as we were back outside again, walking down the few steps and hearing the hustle and bustle of the town going on around us.

"Private Janovec, replacement in Easy. He just came in when we arrived here in Struzleberge." Spiers explained as we were about to go out into the road when I heard a jeep honk. it was coming so quickly and I grabbed Spier's jacket, pulling him back just in time for the jeep to barely come by us in such a fast rate.

"Sir!" I said as he almost touched the jeep with his body, releasing my hold on his jacket sleeve. We both looked, seeing who was in the passenger seat: Captain Lewis Nixon. He looked back at the both of us as the jeep raced on, and he did not look too pleased as punch.

"What that Nixon, sir?" I asked, hoping that I just saw some kind of illusion.

"Yes, ma'am," Spiers answered, "Come on, I need to ship these out." I followed Spiers, though I was still occupied with seen a zombie looking Nixon riding in the jeep. We haven't seen him in a while, at least I haven't. We walked into what looked like was a make shift post office, in which we took over and there was a private behind the counter when we placed the items on the countertop.

"Good morning, sir. Good morning, ma'am." The private said to us in a light tone.

"Good morning." I said back to him in a smile.

"Morning," Spiers voiced, "You got a box that all this stuff'll fit into?"

"Yes, sir, I think so. Same destination?" The private asked as he walked over to see the items there.

"Yeah, and she can pick out one item and you send it to wherever she wants." Spiers explained, pointing to me with his thumb as he was fishing out his cigarette. I eyed him, not understanding how I was brought into this. Did he want me to take one of these? I had no need, but why me?

"You want me to take something, sir?" I asked him carefully. Spiers looked at me wit a grin, cigarette in his mouth as he lit with his match.

"You don't want one? You did save my ass from being squashed by Nixon back there." Spiers argued with me though I looked at the pieces of silver in front of me. It still didn't feel right, but what was the point since the war was almost nearly over. So I just pointed to the smallest piece that was there, a silver goblet.

"I'll take that one." I said in grimace though Spiers grinned as he inhaled the stick and let the smoke escape through his nose. The private took the goblet and place it on its own.

"You sure you don't want something bigger?" Spiers joked with me, having me glare at him.

"Don't start." I warned him, hearing him chuckle as I looked to the private, "Please use the same address that's under Private Joseph Liebgott's name."

"Yes, ma'am." The private replied as I followed Spiers who was walking out the door, "Boy, sir, your folks are sure gonna have quite a collection by the time you get—" He was cut off when Spiers looked back at him with a intense stare, almost scaring the shit out of him as I watched him carefully. If I knew one thing about Spiers, is that he could turn on a dime within seconds if something was not going his way. He was a charmer one second, and he could be a monster the next.

"—get home, sir." The private ended hesitantly, then Spiers breaking out into a small grin on his face. He was once again a charmer.

"Finders, keepers."

* * *

><p>I opened the door to the apartment that I was staying in, seeing the small sitting room and I was lost for words. I was giving my own place when we came to the town, mainly because I was a Sergeant Medic and, once again, being the only female in the Company. Spina and Eugene were bunking together in another apartment, right across from me at the edge of the apartment, which was smart thinking to keep all the medics together in one part of the building. My own place had a sitting room, the bedroom with one queen-sized bed, and a small bathroom with a working shower and bath there. I knew a small part of me was mourning, because this belonged to a family once, maybe even a couple. But we drove them out, either that or they left when they knew we were coming along. Either way, it didn't feel like my own home, I didn't belong there. However, Winters reassured me that that we all deserved to have our own rooms now. Why didn't I agree with him?<p>

I took a bath for the first time in what seemed like ages upon ages, putting on a classical record that was already on the turntable and having it play softly as I tried to have my own solo time in a porcelain tub. It was nice to just sit in a bath with hot water, to be able to relax and breathe in and out and not be worried that someone needed help or that I need to mend someone's limb. No, this was my own solo time and I was going to have to learn how to enjoy it fully. It was like being the shower all over again in France, though this time I wasn't crying. I was just…staring at the wall in front of me and letting it all sink in. For some reason, it felt out of place for me to be sitting in someone's bathtub, listening to someone's record of Beethoven, and later sleeping into someone's bed.

After I showered, I threw on a clean pair of boxer shorts that were big enough for me and one of my spare white shirts, looking right at the mirror that was in the bedroom. My hair was now touching my shoulders, barely really since my hair does in fact grow a bit faster than normal. That meant that I had to cut it again. I noticed how older I looked, the visible scars that were there. The one long scar from my eye to my cheek was slowly fading, but still visible there against the skin and the other scar, the one on my jawline, was about to disappear for good. But even with the scars, I could tell I was getting older than I should, all because of the war. I no longer felt young like I did when I left for the army, I felt more heaviness on my shoulders and more demons creeping up on me. Some nights were filled with nightmares and pains that it hurt to just close my eyes and try to sleep. I had no idea how the other men were getting to sleep without any worries, since it was always hard for me. Yet again, I would have long days that would result in me collapsing on the bed as soon as I touched it.

I noticed that I looked older, the visible scars that were there. The one long scar from my forehead near my eye that went to my cheek was slowly fading, but still visible there against the skin and the other scar, the one on my jawline, was about to disappear for good. But even with the scars, I could tell I was getting older than I should, all because of the war. I no longer felt young like I did when I left for the army, I felt more heaviness on my shoulders and more demons creeping up on me. Some nights were filled with nightmares and pains that it hurt to just close my eyes and try to sleep. I had no idea how the other men were getting to sleep without any worries, since it was always hard for me. Yet again, I would have long days that would result in me collapsing on the bed as soon as I touched it.

There was a knock at the door, making me look away from the mirror and walk barefoot across the hardwood floor to the door. I had my combat uniform folded against the wall on a dresser, the boots on the floor against the wall, and my satchel near the door in case I had to grab and go from an emergency. I opened the door, smiling in relief to see Eugene there in front of me. But the smile was gone since he was still in his combat uniform and he looked like he was about to collapse in exhaustion. His face was showing the worn look of someone who hasn't slept in long hours, maybe even days.

"Jesus, Eugene. You look like hell." I said in a gasp as I grabbed his arm, pulling him inside my apartment and closing the door gently. Eugene sighed, closing his eyes and leaning against the door and looking like he was carrying more weight than he should. He breathed out slowly, as if trying to ease his own anxiety as he then looked over at me. I could see the bloodshot eyes now, having me grimace from just seeing him there.

"The hospital shift was beyond exhausting," He explained ask as I then grabbed him, pulling him slightly by his strap that was over his chest to strip off the satchel as he kept talking, "We had to move so many boxes that I could feel my own arms about to fall off. And the Germans there…they didn't like us…not one bit…"

"I'm sorry, _Liebste_." I said to him in almost a coo as I dropped his satchel onto the floor, then wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into a hug. He invited the hug, wrapping his own arms around me and resting his head against my own, breathing out a heavy sigh and I him tap his long fingers against my back along my spine. I snuck in a kiss against his head, feeling how cold his skin was and how different he felt in my arms. He even smelled like the hospital, it didn't fit him really. I wasn't used to that on him, I was used to his regular scent. So I just nuzzled into him more, feeling his hold on me tighten.

"It was worst not seeing you there. Why did you have to train those new medics anyways?" Eugene asked in a grumble against my head as I grinned. Clearly he was annoyed that I was not there with him and Spina to go through the woes of the hospital.

"Because I'm a Sergeant, Eugene. Clearly they don't trust anyone else with the newbies except me." I replied back to him, hearing him chuckle softly against my body and having me feel the laughter as a vibration against my own body,

"You need to sleep, and a good bath would help too I bet." I explained, pulling away from him and looking at his face to see how tired he looked and how weary. He grinned at me since I was speaking to him so softly. I ran my fingers in his black hair, almost feeling him lean into the touch without realizing it.

"A bath does sound nice." Eugene agreed, having me smile at him and then think of a good aid for him.

"Take a bath, and then I can read to you to help you wind down, okay?" I asked him with hope in my tone. He nodded his head, the smile still on his face as I unwounded myself from him to move. He then snuck in a quick kiss against my lips, having me sigh and kiss him back. To me, I thought he would move to his own apartment across the hall. So I moved away a bit, about to walk over to my bed that was past the living room through the archway, yet I didn't hear him move from his spot at the living room. I looked back, seeing him watch me with his careful eyes as if he was trying to wait for my approval on something.

"What is it?" I asked him carefully, not wanting to sound rude to him or mean. But I still wonder why he was still there and not going to his own place to take a bath. He took a small step towards me, almost hesitantly, like he was afraid he was about to step on a landline.

"Maybe I should take one here." He suggested, having me titled my head to the side with a small smile on my face.

"You know you have one at your place?" I asked him with a smile plastered to my face. He shrugged his shoulders.

"You want me to leave, then I can leave…" He trailed off, moving away from his spot at the floor and I just giggled, seeing what game he was trying to play with me. It was when we had these moments together that I felt as though we weren't in the war, just two crazy young lovers who had no worry or cares in the world.

"Come on, I think I left some hot water for you, _Liebste._" I merely replied, seeing him walk back over and having me feel the warmth all over me again. Just like simpler times, expect with no foxhole and a real working apartment. We needed to be together, just the two of us. As much as I wanted to be alone, it was nicer with Eugene there. We needed to have each other for comfort.

We both needed it.

* * *

><p>After Eugene bathed and I turned down the bed, we both were on the queen sized bed surrounded by pillows and blankets since I figured he needed to be comfortable, more than me at least. He wore his own pair of boxers and his white shirt, and now we were just enjoying each other's company on the bed. Eugene laid down on the bed, his head in my lap and his hands were on my knees and legs as I sat Indian Style with my book in hand, reading out loud softly from <em>Odyssey <em>by Homer. The whole time I was reading to him, he stayed silent but kept his hold on me as I would read from page to page. One hand was holding the book, and the other was stroking his hair softly and letting his hair go between my fingers.

" '_Now from his breast into the eyes the ache_

_of longing mounted, and he wept at last,_

_his dear wife, clear and faithful, in his arms, _

_longed for as the sunwarmed earth is longed for by a swimmer_

_spent in rough water where his ship went down_

_under Poseidon's blows, gale winds and tons of sea._

_Few men can keep alive through a big serf_

_to crawl, clotted with brine, on kindly beaches_

_in joy, in joy, knowing the abyss behind:_

_and so she too rejoiced, her gaze upon her husband, _

_her white arms round him pressed as though forever.' "_

I read softly in the room, though the only other sound to be heard was more classical music that I found from the previous owner. Eugene rearranged himself on the bed, scooting closer to me and wrapping both of his arms around my legs now. He kept his head in my lap, though I was about to read something else when he spoke up to break his silence from the moment he got on the bed.

"Jemima?" He asked aloud, his voice was so soft in the room, but it also sounded afraid. I closed the book and placed it on the ground next to us, looking down at him.

"Yeah, Eugene?" I replied, seeing him pause for a moment before he spoke up again.

"Have you been getting nightmares?" He asked carefully, having me now pause with my fingers in his hair and think about what I was going to tell him. I wasn't going to hide it from him, not when we had something good together in this war.

"I have," I answered him, hearing nothing from him as I went on, "Almost every night I've been getting nightmares."

"What are they about?" He pressed on, having me move my hand away from his hair and then folding my hands together in front of me.

"Sometimes they're of Foye, and the explosion there," I started, seeing him cringe when I mentioned the incident, "And other times it's Jackson dying in my arms, over and over again." I stopped, looking down at Eugene with worry now on my face, "Why do you wanna know? Have you been having nightmares?"

"Ever since we came out of Bastogne." Eugene replied without a hesitant in his tone. I cringed then, thinking of how I could not have seen it before in his eyes and how he walked from place to place. He was suffering too from the past images and flashes of death in front of him.

"What were they about, Eugene?" I asked him placing my hands on his arm to let him know that I was there and he had the support from me.

"They were of you." He stated in such a bitter way, but I knew he was more sad than bitter. I stilled my hand against his arm then, since he told me he dreamt of me in nightmares that made my own heart want to drop to the floor. The way he said it, almost like he was mourning.

"Tell me." I urged him, seeing him not say anything at first, but I wanted to hear what they were about.

"Eugene, you can tell me. It's alright." I reassured him, but he shook his head.

"No it's not, because you die in them," He muttered out almost in tears, "One of the nightmares was back in Carentan, and you never survived the grenade assault." I cringed, trying not to think about that moment when we both were caught under a ton of bricks, thinking the other died, "Another one is of you when you were shot in the head, but this time you wore not helmet."

"Eugene…" I started, wanting to tell him to stop since this was causing him pain from just telling me.

"But the worst was in Foye," He dropped the bomb, having me feel the tear that hit my knee from his eyes as he started to shake softly in the bed from his spot, "You were dead on the table, not morning or breathing….just….lying there on the table." This was killing him from the inside out, and I thought he was the strong one. He was just a broken with the dreams that were plaguing him, though he was too strong to admit it. He never voiced them, when I thought he would. Eugene had enough pride inside of him that would keep these dreams from me, and now I knew how he was feeling when he voiced it. Slowly and without even thinking about it, I reached out to grab one of his hands in my own to lace our fingers together gently, right in front of his eyes as I stayed still, not wanting to move.

"I'm right here, Eugene," I reminded him softly, almost like a breath on the wind as Eugene squeezed my hand in his to make sure I was real, "They are only dreams. I won't ever leave you, you know that?"

"I'm not sure." Eugene voiced out in a breaking manner, sitting up now so that we were in eyesight with each other, having me look at him now with confusion since I had no clue what he was saying in at that point.

"What are you saying?" I asked him, a bit of shock in my voice. Eugene looked at our laced hands, having me see now that he was afraid of letting me go. I would be too if I had those dreams, all because of the war.

"Sometimes I'm afraid to go to sleep." Eugene confessed to me simply as I wiped away his tears with my own fingers, "Because I can't dream of anything else but you, not with me." I sighed, knowing that this was going to be harder for him to forget than I expected. If I went through pain, I know Eugene did too. Being a medic was hard enough, and he was getting as much pain and ridicule as the next person on the line. So I had to find a way to heal him, to take care of him and make sure no nightmare would put him in this state again.

"Come here." I urged, getting the both of us to lay out on the bed again, feeling the comfort of the blankets around us and how comfortable we were. Eugene said nothing as we both are facing each other on the bed. I had a plan, a routine that I haven't done in years now, but I thought it would work with him.

"When I was a kid, whenever I had nightmares, my mom would tell me to think of something that made me so happy that I couldn't help but smile, that I would forget the nightmare and no longer be sad." I explained to him in a happier tone, no longer wanting to be sad in front of him but show joy. Eugene watched me as I squeezed out hands together tightly.

"I would think of all the books I loved to read, playing baseball in the summer with the neighborhood kids, hearing my father play the piano and my brother singing me to sleep," I listened them all, a smile was back on my own face now as I remembered those moments in my life as a child. If only I could think of those now since I was no longer a child, but a battered woman who was trying to keep her own innocence alive and free.

"So tell me something that makes you happy, Eugene," I urged him as I searched his warm eyes again, "Think of a good memory." Eugene said nothing at first, and I could tell he was thinking to himself on what he could tell me. I just waited, not wanting to move from being so close to him now.

"Being on a boat with my grandfather for the first time," Eugene breathed out, having me see the small glimmer of hope in his eyes now as he went on with what he remembered, "My mother singing on Sunday mornings to wake me up for church, seeing my Grandmother heal my dad for the first time when he was sick, getting my first baseball for Christmas." His smile was coming back to his face, having me grin widely at him now as he was suddenly warm all over again. This was the Eugene that I loved and cared for wholeheartedly.

"Those are good memories." I voiced out to him, praising him for thinking of memories that I thought are helpful and hopeful for him.

"But I think some of the best ones are with you." He confessed, having me never lose my own smile on my face now as he talked some more, "Dancing with you on your birthday though you hated it, you falling asleep on my shoulder on the train to New York."

"My God, you remember that?" I asked him in shock. He grinned widely at me now, no longer in pain or in sadness.

"How could I forget that, you were dead asleep on my shoulder and I thought you drooled." He joked, having me shake my head against the cool sheet we are on top of.

"Liar." I threatened him, but we both laughed then.

"Another one I remember is when you saved my leg, getting the bullet out," Eugene explained, his voice was still light but the serious look was back on his face, "And when you held my hand for the first time…even when we kissed for the first time in the library. Holding your hand at that parade in Holland and seeing flowers in your hair, you looked so pretty then. But I think my favorite memory of you, is when I first saw you at Camp Toccoa in the medical tent." I think it was then that I blushed heavily for the first time in what seemed like forever. I let out a shaky breath then, since it felt like I was falling now in a free fall, yet I liked that feeling.

"That's my favorite memory too." I confessed to him, seeing him shuffle himself closer to me and running one of his fingers into my brown hair which was getting longer as the days came and went. This was his soothing tactic on me, and I both hated and loved him for it.

"So whenever you're afraid to close your eyes, for anything, just think of those memories….think of me." I instructed him gently, "I don't want you to suffer anymore with those nightmares that aren't real, and they never will be."

"I know they won't." Eugene replied, smiling at me softly as we both then rearranged ourselves to be under the covers now in the bed, the blankets over us and our heads against the pillows. It was nice to be able to breathe out and not be afraid anymore, at least for that night. Because Eugene pulled me close to him now, arms around me and almost shielding me from the world as he laid behind me, the both of us on our sides and I could feel his nose against my neck, breathing in and out in a soothing rhythm. I could feel the sleep coming over me as our hands laced together on my belly under the sheets. It felt normal for us to be in the same bed, almost like being in the same foxhole, but this as more comfortable and less of a pain in the ass.

"You know, if we get caught in the same bed, we could be written up." Eugene warned me in a groggy tone, having me feel that he was about to fall asleep yet his hold on me was not letting loose or showing any sign of remorse for what we were doing.

"And you're regretting this?" I asked him, my own tone sounded heavy in sleepiness. I would want to regret being in the same bed with him, yet I knew this was Eugene and no other man that would try anything on me. If I knew one thing about Eugene, it's that he knew how to protect me and give me boundaries when I needed it. We weren't looking for anything more physical than kissing, not now at least while we were still at war. We just need to hold hands, steal a small kiss or two, and just hear each other's voices in other to bring the same amount of happiness sex would bring us later, if only I hoped. Eugene just gave a simple reply before falling asleep, still holding me close and breathing into my hair and having me smile into the pillow as sleep fell over me.

"I never will."

* * *

><p><em>"These nights are endless, and a man can sleep through them,<em>

_or he can enjoy listening to stories, and you have no need_

_to go to bed before it is time. Too much sleep is only_

_a bore. And of the others, _any one_ whose heart and spirit_

_urge him can go outside and sleep, and then, when the dawn shows,_

_breakfast first, then go out to tend the swine of our master._

_But we two, sitting here in the shelter, eating and drinking,_

_shall entertain each other remembering and retelling_

_our sad sorrows. For _afterwards_ a man who has suffered_

_much and wandered much has pleasure out of his sorrows."_

_― Homer, The Odyssey_


	28. Chapter 28

I remembered waking up early in the morning, feeling the cool chill of the morning air coming through the window that was left cracked open, the tinted glow of the morning coming through the room and having everything seem brighter and less of a nightmare now. It was having me realized that it was raining throughout the night after I fell asleep….with Eugene next to me. I was frozen in my spot in the bed, not wanting to move from where I was since I could feel another body in the bed next to me. So slowly, without moving too much and wanting to wake him, I rolled to the other side of the bed, seeing none other than Eugene there in the bed, fast asleep and with the cover over his shoulders. It was like he was tucked away securely and nothing in the world or in the room even would dare to harm him,

His black hair contrasted with the white pillow, nice and short though I could tell it was getting a bit longer now. I grinned, thinking that I would have to cut it sometime soon when we would have time. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, no sign of a nightmare was on his face or in his body language. It was like he was in a wonderful dream, how his arm was propped under the pillow, but his other arm was stretched out towards me. His fingers were on top of the sheet, almost trying to touch me though I moved away from him while I was sleeping into the night.

As much as I wanted to watch him sleep and go back under the covers with him, I knew that I had to get up and get ready for the day and all I had to do. There were still recruited CM's that I had to train and send out to their new Companies around the German area. Winters would give me the new rundown with the Sergeant duties today too, which was nice for since I was going to have a change of pace. I moved out of the bed, placing the blankets close to Eugene and making sure he was tucked in. Such a mother hen thing for me to do, though it still pained me that I wasn't going to be there when he woke up. I swear, he shifted me into being more of a sap for the opposite sex since I knew I was never liked by men before I came into the army. Sure I was pretty, but I was never a prospect in the eyes of men. Not until Eugene came into my life.

_Eugene -_

_Good morning my Liesbte._

_Had to go get work done early. Keep having nice dreams for me, I'll see you soon._

_Your Cheré_

I wrote down the note for Eugene with the journal that was on the desk in the room, scribbling it down neatly for him to be able to read when he woke up. I placed it, folded in half, on the pillow next to his hand as I then leaned over, giving him a kiss into his black hair that still harbored the scent of being freshly bathed, and the cotton sheets. He stirred a bit, mumbling in his sleep and then sleeping as I got on my combat pants and jacket over my shirt, ruffling my hair in the process. I threw my satchel on over my shoulder and opened the door quietly, looking up and down the hall before walking down with my hands shoved in my own pockets. I yawned, trying to wake up as I walked, though I heard another door opening and having me see a head poke up, well, two heads to be fair. One of them belonged to Webster, the other belonging to Joe as they are apparently bunking together. It was nice to see they got along together again, no longer having a riff between then that was evident in France. This time, they were buddies again.

"Heya Jemmie, why you awake so early?" Joe asked me, yawning in the process as I stopped in front of their door and leaned against their frame with a smirk on my face.

"I should as you the same question," I countered back with him, seeing the evident bed hair and I ruffled it with my fingers, "Nice hair by the way. You look like dad with that hair."

"Don't remind me, lay off will ya? Christ," Joe cursed at me with annoyance as he swatted my hand away from his head, "The damn sun woke us up. But you're looking better than you did in France, that's for damn sure."

"Yeah well, I blame the cold, since it's warmer here and there's an actual sun," I replied in a gruff, looking over at Webster and seeing him rub his own crystal blue eyes to wake up, "I finished _Odyssey, _by the way. Thanks for the book."

"I told you it was good," Webster commented back to me in his cheeky grin, "I have to find you something that would really rattle your brain, since _Odyssey _is so underneath you now."

"Christ, you two and your book club. Way to corrupt my sister into being a scholar like you." Joe mumbled to Webster, whom just had a smirk on his face as he eyed me up and down.

"Well, it looks like you had a good night last night, anything we should know about?" Webster asked me, having me raise my eyebrow at him since I had no idea where he was going with this.

"What are you talkin' about, Web?" I asked him, tilting my head to the side as I saw my own twin brother smirking. They both knew something, which was making me angry since I had no clue and was being left in the dark.

"Grant saw Doc go into your room…and no one saw him go out." Webster explained carefully, then having em glare at him since I knew where he was going with his conversation. Joe just bit his lip from laughing as I was glaring at the both of them now. It was bad enough having one brother, let alone two others at home, but ever since being in the army, I inherited a dozen more who were fine with teasing me with antics and small grins plastered on their faces.

"And what are you suggesting we did, Web? Do tell me?" I countered back with him. He then lost his grin now, seeing that I was not going to take any of his antics with him as he cleared his throat in the uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," I replied, seeing him eye my twin now for some kind of help. Joe rolled my eyes, rubbing my arm in reassurance since he could tell with my eyes that this was about to get annoying real quick.

"We're just playin', Jemmie. We know you wouldn't do something like that." Joe reminded me gently now, having me pat him back in return as he moved his own arm away from me, "Besides, even if you did, I wouldn't think it would be with someone like Doc."

"I know, and ya'll are meaning well," I said back in a small to them as I started to walk backwards but still keeping my eyes on the two boys as I then gave them a wicked grin, "Besides, it's funny how Doc has more game when it comes to wooing woman than you two combined."

"Oh, that is so not fair, Jem!" Webster called out to me as I turned on my heel to walk away from them and hearing Joe chuckle in both annoyance with my antic and from my joking manner on them. I had no need to listen to them, whether or not they were telling the truth or just joking. But I knew how to handle myself really, compared to the past when I was just blush and walk away. I learned a thinking or two with being in the army surrounded by men who were all about jokes and antics. I knew how to take care of my own thick skin, and how to avoid another blow to my own ego.

"You know, she does have a point, Lieb." Web commented to my brother as I was about to go down the stairs to the ground floor. I grinned, hearing how he spoke and he just accepted my own joke with them. But then I heard Joe scoff, having me own grin get bigger since I knew Joe was not going to let me win at an argument.

"Shut up, Web."

* * *

><p>Later that morning we were scheduled to have a current events lecture with Nixon, but the medics were swamped already with getting more supplies and hearing who was being transferred to where. Spina, Eugene and I were the lucky ones: we were staying with Easy come hell or high water. Winters wanted us to stick together since we were the best in his mindset. I was just getting my own supplies ready and helping the other transferred medics get their own stashes good to go before they were sent off via jeep to their new Companies. I was helping Spina with another recruited medic who was assigned to Fox Company when I felt a tap on my shoulder, looking behind me to see it was Eugene who was waiting for me.<p>

I grinned from ear to ear as he was shoving his hands in his pockets. I haven't seen him since I left this morning from my apartment, and he did look well rested. There were no more bags under his eyes now, and I saw more color back on his cheeks. It must have been the well-rested night sleep he had in a bed, but I was just glad to see him and I silently wished I could kiss him.

"Hey, you wanna go to the meeting and take a break?" Eugene asked me.

"Sure, let me get him set up." I explained as I was about to go help the boy again, but Spina beat me to it.

"You go ahead, I can help him. I don't wanna hear another current event piece anyways, let me now if anything interesting is happening." Spina said to the both of us, having me grin at him as I moved over to Eugene, the both of us walking together out of the building we were stationed in and over to the center of the town. Easy Company was there, string in chairs and listening with some bored looks on their faces to Nixon who was reading off a clipboard.

"I'm sorry that I left earlier." I said to Eugene under my breath for him to only hear. He just grinned, shaking his head as he shoved me playfully with his shoulder.

"It was a bit saddening that I didn't wake up to see you, but you're more of a worker than I was. I'm such a lazy ass." Eugene joked with me giggled as we stood in the back of the group, hearing Nixon talking about sending notice to our families about giving food to charity for those in need.

"Right, you're lazy and I'm a gentle lamb." I sarcastically replied, the both of us grinning now as I was calling the both of us something that was so opposite of us. It was then when I felt Eugene grabbed my hand within his own, lacing our fingers together once again with gentleness and I felt my stomach flutter from the mere touch of his fingers.

"Thanks for helping me out last night…with helping me sleep." Eugene thanked me with a softness in his accent as he talked to me closely now, standing a bit closer to me. It made it feel more private between us now, though we were out in the open with other soldiers walking around us and having their own moments in their own worlds.

"I'll always look out for you, Eugene. You know that, right?" I asked him in a proclamation, though my voice was still low enough for the both of us. He said nothing, but he grinned and squeezed our fingers together to show that he was thankful for me in more ways than I. I wished to be alone with him in that moment, to just be in a room with only the two of us so I can truly show him what I was feeling and wanting to feel with him. But it was cut short when I heard someone calling out to us from the seated men of Easy. We both looked, seeing that it was Luz who was looking over his shoulder at us in his seat.

"Hey, Jem and Doc! Come on, we saved seats for ya!" He called out with his grin. I released Eugene's hand from my own and we both walked over, weaving out way through the seated men who said hello to us as we passed. Once we were close enough to the two seats were were close to Luz, Christenson and Joe, we plopped down next to each other just in time for another topic coming up from the bulletin Nixon was racing.

"I'm sure you'll be happy to know Oklahoma is still playing in Broadway." Nixon said aloud.

"Hey!" Luz said aloud in glee as he then titled his head back, "Ooooooklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain!" The rest of the men joined in with him as I smiled, seeing Nixon wave his pencil like he was conducting the whole song.

"And the wavin' wheat, can sure smell sweet, when the wind comes—" Luz threw his hand up in the air to shut us all up as we then watched the new recruit to Easy, O'Keefe sing on by himself.

"—right behind the rain!" He as off key, but it was nice to see the joy on his face. But he lost the look when he was now embarrassed with the men laughing at his singing.

"O'Keefe, are you sitting on your bayonet? Why don't you leave the singing to Luz?" Christenson asked in a coy tone, some of the men laughing in agreement as I saw O'Keefe blueing scarlet red.

"Yeah, unless you wanna do like 'Surrey With the Fringe on Top', O'Keefe." Luz added in agreement as I shook my head, cracking my knuckles as Nixon went on.

"Aww, Rita Hayworth's getting married…" The men groaned in defeat from hear that the dame was getting married.

"Oh, Rita, say it isn't true…" Luz moaned out loud in a mocking sound of defeat. I chuckled, seeing him look at me from over his shoulder, giving me a wicked grin.

"No one compares to you, Jem." He reassured me, having me nod in agreement.

"I should hope so since no one else can save your ass better than me." I agreed with him, seeing him chuckle and look forward again.

"Hey, I resent that." Eugene said next to me with a hint of annoyance in his eyes. I just shook my head at him, leaning over to be close enough for him to hear me.

"You're much better looking than I am, so don't worry about it." I reassured him, seeing him give me a smirk and I looked back in front of me. We both were fine with my playfulness with him, and yet he was being playful with me too. I was about to look forward to Nixon again when I saw someone over to the side of the sitting area, waving at me with both arms and looking like he was about to panic. It was Spina. I got up slowly, seeing Eugene watch me now in concern as Spina was motioning me to come over to him with urgency.

"Jemima?" Eugene asked me in worry as I then looked back at him, grabbing his jacket to pull him up with me.

"Come on, something's up with Spina." I said to him, and we both left the meeting as Nixon was getting into war news. I didn't mind not listening to the war news for the day. but I was more minding what was going on with Spina, since he looked like he was about to have a heart attack. Once we were close enough to him, Spina grabbed my sleeve and tugged me along with him in a fast rate to the medical area.

"What in the hell, Spina?" I asked him in panic as he looked like he was wearing bullets.

"We have a medical problem with some locals. I have a family that just came in, not a lick of English and they are going crazy since their son is covered in blood and they want someone to help them." Spina explained to me in a hard tone as we approached the medical building that we were working at for the past few days. Medics were already working in there, and I wondered why this was such a big panic. But I saw the small family: husband and wife and they are trying to talk to one of the other Medics, but they couldn't communicate. They didn't know German, and I did. The wife was holding her son, who looked like he was about 4 years old, and his head as covered in blood under the brown locks were.

"Here's Jem! Here she is." Spina said to the once medic who was trying to talk to the mother. The mother looked like she was about to pop a vessel in her forehead and in the eye as I approached them, throwing up my hands to show her that I didn't mean any harm.

"_Ich bin hier, um Ihnen zu helfen_." (I'm here to help you) I said to her calmly, though she was still furious. I looked at the medic who was previously trying to help them, he looked out of it and winded.

"What happened?" I asked him aloud in an authoritative voice.

"They came in looking for help, the son has a concussion to the head and he's bleeding out slowly. I tried to get him wrapped up, but as soon as I touch the kid the parents go crazy and shove me off." The Medic replied in a gruff.

"_Ich glaube niche, dass er mien Sohn berühren!_" (I don't want him touching my son!) The mother screeched as the son was still crying in her arms, the blood still coming down on his face as I then looked at her with softness in my eyes. The father was holding the mother with both hands on her arms, looking just as furious but not as mad as his wife.

"_Er will dein Sohn, gnädige Frau helfen." (_He wants to help your son, ma'am) I explained to her calmly, but she shook her head in a fate rate, her hold on her child was tighter now.

"_Derjenge, der dies für inn tat, war win US-amerikanischer Soldat!_" (The one who did this to him was an American soldier!) I paused when she said this, having me look at her in confusion as she looked at the rest of the medics around her in fear.

"_Was hast du gesagt?_" (What did you say?) I asked her now with fear in my own tone. The mother calmed down a bit, still clutching her son, but she took a shaky breath.

"_Ein Soldat schlub mien Sohn, ein Amerikaner_" (A soldier hit my son, an American.) She explained to me more softly now and with less shrieking. I took a step back, rubbing my fingers in my hair now in frustration. This was bad, very bad. This was making Americans now look terrible in the eyes of the locals.

"Jem?" Spina asked, having me see the mother was now watching me with hesitance as to see what I was going to do. I looked over at him now in anger, though my hands were at my sides and making fists.

"The boy was hit by an American Soldier." I said to him in a low tone, having me see the other Medics around us looking grimaced now. Eugene looked pissed too, and Spina was about to loose it.

"Shit," Spina cursed under his breath, "This isn't good for us. I have to tell Winters or even Spiers now."

"Go let them know, I'll stay here and try to get her to let me take care of her son." I ordered him, seeing him nod at me and then run off in a fast pace. Eugene stayed with me as I looked at the mother and father again, who were trying to follow what we were talking about.

"_Ich kann Ihren Sohn zu helfen, icy verspreche_." (I can help your son, I promise). I explained to the woman carefully, seeing her then look up at her husband, who was now reading my face and seeing if I was, in fact, going to take care of their child. If I was in their position, I would be too. If an American already hit my child, I wouldn't want another soldier touching him or going anywhere near him. So I just smiled at him, showing both of my hands so that they can see that I was somebody they can work with. The rest of the medics were waiting as well, Eugene was biting his nails as I then saw the father nod his head slowly.

"_Nur du, niemand sonst unser Kind berührt_." (Only you, no one else touches our child) He explained in a low tone, having me smile and nod my head in agreement.

"_Nur ich. Natürlich_" (Just me. Of course). I replied back to him, seeing the woman carefully unwind herself from her son and hand him off to me with delicacy. I took him in my arms, one arm around his waist as his legs wound around my own waist, my other hand analyzing his head carefully and gently. The parents watched him as I looked at the son. He was watching me with big glossy eyes now as I saw more blood coming down on his face from his head.

"No one else touches him, understand?" I asked the other medics around, seeing them watch me carefully as I carried the son over to a stack of boxes and placing him on the top. They all gave me space, leaving a small open circle area for me to be with the boy.

"Yes, ma'am." some of them replied. I was still focusing on the boy now. He looked up at me and I smiled down at him, moving some of his brown hair from the wound so I can see more clearly.

"Jemima, you know what you're doing?" Eugene asked me with caution as I threw off my jacket, feeling already claustrophobic just wearing it. I was about to place it on the boxes next to the boy, but I saw him watching the jacket with interest in his eyes. So I held it out to him, seeing him now look at me in confusion.

"_Willst du meine Jacke zu halten, bitte_?" (Will you hold my jacket, please?) I asked him politely, seeing him take it in his hands and examine it with his fingers and his eyes at the same time. I grinned, seeing that he was distracted.

"Eugene, get me my satchel and pull out some bandages and the stitches there, please. Also grab me my pills." I ordered him, though my eyes were still on the boy sitting there on the boxes, looking at my jacket and grinning from what he was seeing. Eugene grabbed my satchel and was about to place it on the boxes near the boy when the mother and father took a hesitant step towards us. I threw up a hand at them, seeing them freeze and I smiled.

"_Er wird mir helfen." _(He's going to help me.) I explained to them both as Eugene got the stitches, alcohol and bandages for me to work with. He handed me my pills first, having me open the bottle and pop one in my mouth before Eugene took them to place them back in my satchel. The parents nodded their heads again, having me smile at them and look back at the boy, who was touching the patches and the ripped bits on my jacket.

"_Wie ist dein Name" _(What is your name?) I asked him softly, since using my regular voice would freak him out.

"_Ich bin Joseph_." (I'm Joseph) the boy said back to me in a light tone, but it was still quivering as I got the alcohol ready on one of the bandages to get the blood off. I grinned at him, pointing to myself.

"_Name meines Zwillingsbruders ist Joseph zuI." _(My twin brother's name is Joseph too) I explained to him, seeing him watch me with a glint in his eyes as I started to dab away at the blood on his skin. He was so still when I talked to him, distracting him from the process that I was going through. As I got his head fixed up, he was still looking at my jacket and seeing all the colors of the patches there. After a few minutes of getting one stitch on him, I saw Spiers walking over to the area with my brother in tow, who was watching what I was doing with big eyes.

"Spina told me what happened. I want to take one of the parents with Joe and I and we can go find whoever did hit their son." Spiers explained to me as I kept working on the boy. The boy looked at my brother now, whom walked over a bit and saw the parents.

"You can ask which one wants to go with ya, I'm still working on Joseph here." I explained to Joe, seeing him now look at me in confusion. I paused, looking at Joe and then smirking.

"_Das ist mien Bruder, Joseph._" (This is my brother, Joseph.) I told the little boy. He watched my brother, looking at him up and down and then breaking out into another grin. Joe smiled back, having me see that he was no longer seeing the Germans with such vain, but with kindness. The way that I wanted to see them.

"_Hallo Joseph_." (Hello Joseph.) Joseph said to the little Joseph, who was now giggling as I then pointed to the parents.

"Go ask them who wants to go." I said to Joe, seeing him move away and then he started talking to the two parents when Spiers came over to me. I got another stitch on his head as I looked over at Spiers.

"How is he holding up?" Spiers asked me calmly, but I shook my head. I didn't want the little boy to be brought into this conversation.

"I'm more worried about the parents and how big of a situation this is, sir," I explained to him as I then grabbed another set of stitches from Eugene, "These parents are livid because one of our own men hit a German civilian, a child of all things."

"I understand that." Spiers said to me calmly.

"Do you? Because this can look bad on all of us if the word does get out to the other locals about what a soldier did to one of them. We are looking at targets on our backs now, and they're not from the German Soldiers." I explained to him, trying do hard not to raise my voice at him now since he was superior to me in rank. But it was still a shitty situation for us to be in.

"Jem, I know what we're having to deal with, and I am going to take care of it personally." Spiers reassured me as I saw Joe and the father walked over to where Spiers was.

"If I'm not mistaken, when you say you're going to 'take care of it', you mean in your own way?" I asked Spiers carefully as they were about to leave the area. Spiers analyzed me from his spot, excuse he knew I was telling the truth. I hoped and praying in that spot that he wasn't going to do anything stupid to the soldier that did this to little Joseph. He only nodded his head once and then left, the father and Joe right behind him. I sighed, closed my eyes for a brief moment before I felt Eugene place a reassuring hold on my arm with his hand.

"Come on, Jemima. You're almost done with him." Eugene urged me, having me take a deep breath and then look back at the boy, whom was still so patient with me and still holding my jacket in his fingers. I grinned at him, then taking the jacket out of his hands and slowly pulling one of his arms through one sleeve, the other arm in the other sleeve. I wanted him to wear it, to somehow show his mother and himself that I was no threat, and nothing was going to touch him while I was taking care of him.

It took another couple of minutes, but I got the rest of the stitches on his head nicely and he was still so patient with me. I every asked for Eugene to give up one of his candy bars to give to little Joseph, who ate the whole thing by the time I was finished. He even said, "_D__anke" _to Eugene, who just smiled at the little boy as we heard people coming our way. I looked over, as did the boy. But then I saw the boy's eyes going big and he pointed with his small finger out, sheer terror was on his face.

"_Das ist er!_" (That's him!) He shouted, having me see the one soldier who was being escorted over with Joe by his side and Spiers in front of him. Spiers whirled around to look at the soldier, and Joe nodded his head once, since he knew what little Joseph said. Spiers grabbed the soldier, whom started to struggle and pointed back at the boy. The mother shrieked, as did the boy. I moved over to stand in front of the boy now, having a sense of mother mode coming over me.

"He took my rations when I placed them down for one minute, that little—" he started, but Spiers grabbed him roughly by both hands and the boy yelled out again. I immediately grabbed little Joseph into my arms, cradling his head with my hand and shielding him away from the soldier who was now being dragged away by Spiers. Eugene hopped in front of me, shielding both little Joseph and myself as Joe walked over to stand next to me.

"Get him the fuck out of here." Joe said in a threatening tone as he saw that I was trying to keep little Joe away from the commotion. I tried to hush little Joseph in my arms, since now his own arms were around me and clinging to me as his mother walked over to me now, placing her hand on her son's back but not yanking him from me.

"_Du bist sicker, du bist sicker_." (You're safe, you're safe) I said to little Joseph over and over against his hair as he calmed down in my arms. After a moment or two, his shrieks turned to whimpers as I then placed him back down on the boxes, though I had to maneuver his hands away from bending around my neck.

"_Sie können inn jetzt nach Hause nehmen_." (You can take him home now) I said to the mother, seeing her rush over and swoop little Joe into her arms, holding him tight and then looking right at me.

"Danke, jenseits von Worten_." _(Thank you, beyond words) She said to me in a broken tone since it sounded like she was about to cry. I nodded my head at her as I saw the little boy look up at me in her mother's arms now, waving me with his fingers. I waved back as she walked away with him, going back out into the town now. As soon as they were out of sight, I looked back over at Eugene and Joe, seeing them just give me reassuring smiles and Eugene grasping my hand within an instant.

"You did good, Jemmie." Joe reassured me in a lighter tone now than before. I nodded my head, showing that I was listening as Eugene then pulled me into a hug then, seeing that I needed more than just someone to hold my hand. He hugged me, and I hugged him back since I needed him to hug me. I didn't care that Joe was watching since he already had an idea that we were an item and that was not going to change anytime soon. He just watched over us as Eugene calmed me down in a huge. Having me breathe out finally and feel much better about the situation.

It all happened within a blink.

* * *

><p>The day after the incident with the boy and his family, we were packing up and leaving the town for good. So I grabbed my things from the room I was staying in and I walked out to join the rest of the men who were getting into the trucks and ready to move out into the next spot. But as I walked out, my hair in a short ponytail, I could hear Nixon saying something in anger and sadness in his voice, with Winters trying to talk to him too,<p>

"She's taking the house, taking the kid, taking the dog. It's not even her dog. It's my dog! She's taking my dog!" He threw his helmet against the jeep and he was about to get into with Winters, some of the men looking at him in a bit of shock but then moving on as I walked over to some of the Easy men.

"Sarge, what do you have in here? Germans?" Garcia asked as he was tossed a bag from Bull, who chuckled. I walked over to Bull as I could hear some more of the conversation going on with the group and where we were going. But before I could even chime in, I saw someone running over to me, having me smile brightly and see it was the small boy whom I helped the day before: Little Joe. Bull looked at me in confusion as I squatted down to be at his level. Some of the other soldiers were looking too, seeing this weird sight. I smiled at little Joe, seeing the stitches on his head looking nice and natural on him. He looked better, a lot better.

"_Möchten Sie star ten?"_ (Are you leaving?) He asked me, having me nod my head. I could tell this was saddening him and I saw him reach into his pocket for something, having me wonder what he was getting. I looked behind him and I saw past the mass chaos of soldiers, against one of the walls, his mother and father there. They were watching him carefully, smiling at me as we made eye contact.

"_Hier_." (Here.) I looked back at the boy, seeing him hold out a single flower for me in-between his fingers. I was frozen there, having me see him still hold it out for me to take from him. So I gently took it, holding it with my own fingers and seeing how pure it looked. It was such a simple gift, yet it was all he needed to show me that he was grateful for me helping him. I could have sworn I felt a tear coming down my face as I looked back at him, a small smile on his own face.

"_Danke_." (Thank you.) I replied back to him, then hearing the men behind me yell that it was time to go. Before I could even move to get back up on my feet, little Joe rushed and gave me a quick hug, I hugged him back, looking up at Bull who was still looking over us and having me see a small grin on his face as I pulled away from the boy. I gave him a smile, one last time.

"_Gehen Sie nach Hause_." (Go on home.) I instructed him, seeing him run off through the crowded soldier street and back with his parents. I got back up to my feet again and looked back over at Bull. He just grinned, not saying a word as the trucks got started. We both hopped up on the truck, having me notice that I was with Eugene, Joe, Webster and Bull in our own truck as I sat down on the bench with Eugene next to me.

"What flower is that, Jem?" Bull asked me as he was on my other side. I took it and placed it in front of me, grinning from knowing the flower from the moment I saw it.

"Edelweiss."


	29. Chapter 29

"Glory Glory, what a hell of a way to die, Glory glory what a hell of a way to die, Glory glory what a hell of a way to die, he ain't gonna jump no more!" We were all singing it together, well I was more mumbling it than singing it really since I was still holding the flower little Joe gave me hours before when we left the town to go to the next place. I was sitting across from Webster and Joe, Eugene next to me along with Luz, Perconte and Janovec who was reading a newspaper article. Frank was brushing his teeth and Luz was playing with a baseball in his hand.

"It's gonna be good times, Web. When we get home I mean." I looked up from the flower in my fingers to see Web and Joe talking to each other. Joe was mostly talking and Web was eating from his tin can with his helmet on his lap, listening to what Joe was apparently going to do when we went home after the war. I placed the flower in my jacket pocket in the front as I then fished out for a book to read, for one I knew it was going to be a long ride. So flipped to a new page that I haven't read yet, but I could hear Joe continue to talk.

"First thing I'm gonna do is get my job back at the Cab company in Frisco. Make a killing off all those fucking sailors coming home, you know? Then I'm gonna find me a nice Jewish girl, with great, big, soft titties and a smile to die for," I looked up from my book, seeing the smug look on Joe's face as he was thinking about it himself and Web kept eating, "Marry her. Then I'm gonna buy a house. A big house with lots of bedrooms for all the little Liebgotts we're gonna be making. She ought to like that." I grinned, thinking it was such a dream for my own brother to have. He looked over at me now, having been caught with his own dreams being heard by his younger sister and he gave me his signature wink. I winked back at him, there was no need to call him out with what he wanted to do after the war. Let him dream and let him chase after it. Hell, we all wanted to know what was next for us. So I lowered the book, looking over at Eugene and seeing him shuffle through his own satchel before fishing out another chocolate bar from deep within. He was ripping open the paper when I spoke up, moving my hair from my eyes as the wind was blowing it to and for.

"What are you gonna do when we get him, Eugene?" I asked him as I heard Luz next to me talking to Janovec about what he was reading in the paper. Eugene ripped open the top of the chocolate bar, snagging off a piece and handing it to me as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Go back to my old job I guess." He replied as I ate the chocolate piece he gave me. It tasted nice, mostly because it came from him. I raised my eyebrow at him, hearing that he might go back to his old trade and it didn't seem right to him.

"You serious?" I asked him, seeing him watch me now in confusion.

"What?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders again as he popped some chocolate in his mouth.

"You wanna go back to working on an oil rig again?" I asked him in disbelief. I tried to picture it in my head: Eugene on an oil rig and being covered in dirt and grime, working with his hands in a way that was not medical at all. It was hard to picture, since he was all about medicine from what I knew of him.

"Well, what else am I going to do?" He asked me as he took another piece out from the chocolate bar, handing it to me as having me hold it for a moment before remembering something he promised me when we were back in America, riding on a train together and just getting to know each other more.

"I thought you were going to take me sailing, remember?" I asked him in a coy tone, seeing him freeze by slightly next to me on the vehicle as I popped the candy in my mouth, still staring at him and seeing him then slowly break out into a grin. He remembered now, I could see it on his face. The way the sun hit his face now, the warmth all over us then, made me see how handsome he looked. Hell, he was always handsome to me, beyond that to be fair.

"You're right," Eugene added, having me smile widely at him as he ate some more of the chocolate in his mouth then, the smirk was on his face and having me see a hint of color in his eyes, "You and me are going sailin'. I'll show you around the bayou if you want, maybe take you out to the ocean."

"Sounds like a date to me." I advised him carefully, though the smile never left his face as he took another piece off the bar, having me look down and see how his fingers are delicately taking off piece by piece. I loved his hands, although it wasn't the only thing I loved about him and his body.

"It is a date, _chere_." He reminded me, having me look back up at him as he then reached up to throw the chocolate into my mouth. I opened it, seeing him toss it there and I grinned when it made it into my mouth chewing it up. Although hew had what seemed like a real and thirsty kind of love, we did have child-like spirits that were filled with joy and peace with one another. Eugene laughed as I ate the piece he threw into my mouth, making me smirk at him while I was still chewing as I heard Joe talk to Web again.

"So, what about you Web?" He asked, having me look forward at the two of them talking again.

"Guess I'll finish school, first and then—" Webster started to explain calmly, but he was cut off by my brother.

"What a minute. Finish school? You mean all this time you've been talking about Harvard this and Harvard that, and you ain't even finished yet?" Joe asked in disbelief and in confusion clearly all over his face though Webster seemed calm about it as he shuffled around his food some more with his utensil.

"For one thing, I haven't told you anything. Yes, yes I haven't finished. So the fuck what?" I was kind of floored on how Webster responded to Joe, not saying anything but looking at how Webster was still composed. I could tell he didn't want to be cornered about the whole topic of him not finishing school yet, and I just waited to see what my brother was going to do: fight or flight.

"All right, Web, breathe a little. Jesus, fuck." Joe replied in a gruff, looking away for a moment as I shifted a bit in my spot with Eugene next to me popping in another chocolate in his mouth.

"It's just the way you always talked, you know? We all figured.." Joe trailed off, trying to mend his own undoing. But Webster gave him a hard stare, clearly not interested in how he was being talked to. Hell, I wouldn't be either. I just watched my brother, seeing him shrug it off his shoulders again.

"Hey, you know what, you're right. So the fuck what," Joe replied in a normal tone again. I was kind of proud that he was taking the high road with this now, and I smiled from my spot, "So what did you study?"

"Literature." Webster replied, no longer hostile to him and eating some more. Joe looked at him in shock now, though I was not surprised.

"Get outta here, you serious?" Joe asked as Webster nodded his head, "I love to read."

"Do you?"

"Yeah!" Joe paused, "Dick Tracey, Flash Gordon, mostly." I chuckled from across from him as Webster was giving him a confused look when Joe lit a cigarette between his teeth, "Yeah, fuck." I felt Eugene nudge me once more, having me look and see him give me the rest of the chocolate in my hand. I took it, taking a bite as now Joe was giving me a shocked look.

"Hey, hey! Since when did you have chocolate? Give it here!" He said in protest, holding out his hand to me as I took another bite with a shaking of my head.

"Medics only. It's for medical use." I answered back in a grin as I was chewing the candy in my mouth. He glared at me, Webster rolling his eyes now as my finished my piece and Eugene threw the wrapper into his satchel.

"Bullshit it is, you've been holding out on us." Joe said in a banter though I rolled my shoulders at him.

"So what? Perks of being a Medic, is that we can get candy and none of ya'll can't." I explained to him though now Joe was leaning back in his spot as Webster then asked me the infamous question.

"What about you, Jem? What's the plan for you when we get back to America?" He asked me, finishing his own meal and placing it by his feet on the floor. I leaned back in my own spot, seeing Webster, Joe and Eugene watch me now as I was thinking about it. There was never a time for me to think about what I wanted to do when I got home, so when I tried to think of it then in the truck, nothing came to mind. Well, maybe when I looked down at the book that I was reading moment before I had a thought.

"Maybe I'll go into school too." I replied back to Web, though my brother threw up an eyebrow at me from the thought. He then looked at Webster, shoving him with his hand and shaking his head.

"I blame you. Corrupting my sister into readin' and shit. She's gonna turn into a female you." Joe grumbled to him, but I shook my head at him.

"Don't get your boxers in a twist, Joe. I was thinkin' of writing, not reading." I explained to him, seeing him now look at me in shock as Webster was looking more interested than before.

"Writing? Really? I never took ya for the writing type. What would you write about, anyways?" Webster commented, having me shrug my shoulders and look up at the white clouds that were rolling by us as we trekked on with the trucks to the new place. I loved to read, learning new words here and there, so there was no real reason why I didn't want to write. I had one good idea on what to write, though it seemed a bit out of my own element with what I was comfortable with.

"Maybe about the war. And who knows, maybe they wanna read a book about the first female combat medic." I replied, closing my eyes and breathing in the spring air that was coming over us and having me really wonder if it was so. Would anyone wanna read that? It seemed possible. Hell, ever since I got into the army, it felt like anything was possible. I could hear Webster chuckle from across from me though I kept my eyes closed.

"Yeah. Hell, I would read it."

* * *

><p>"Tell them the have five minutes before they have to leave." I stood against the wall with Eugene next to me as the rest of the men were getting Germans out of their apartments in the building, using a bit of force as we were taking over their homes for the night. It didn't feel right in my gut, as the families were being forced out in wonder if they were in trouble. I hated it, since we were getting death glares from the mother and fathers who were ushering their children out with death grips on their hands and glares in their eyes. For me, I was going to keep quiet as one apartment we were next to was going to be cleared out.<p>

"Sergeant Liebgott, this is where you're going to stay." Nixon informed me as he passed me by, too fast for me to want to talk to him about what we were doing. Damnit, this felt beyond terrible in my stomach as I saw the rest of the families being shuffled out into the streets. I heard one woman scream out in worry _"Wir sind keine Nazi!"_ (We're not Nazis!) as they walked down the stairs. They thought we thought they are Nazis, and that made it worse for me as the apartment was now open for me to walk in. The chaos was dying down now, and we were going into the small apartments that we were assigned to. So slowly, I looked into the apartment, Eugene right behind me as I walked in with my eyes scanning the place.

It was almost the same as the one I stayed in before, but this time some chairs were overturned and the room looked a bit darker now. Once again I felt out of place there, placing my satchel gently on the couch and l looking to see what was left in the apartment by the family: pictures of children and maybe their relatives, small knick-knacks and keepsakes that they left behind, a large rug that looked raggedy and turn up, and other things that tied it together.

"I think a family lived here." I said out loud in the room, hearing how my voice bounced off the walls that were around me in the living room. Looking behind me, I saw Eugene take off his own helmet and look too, his eyes were seeing all the wallpaper and pictures there. I didn't want to touch anything, that didn't seem right as I could hear more of the men outside in the hallway getting into their own places, not sounding sour about it at all.

"It's only for one night, Jemima." Eugene reminded me, having me turn around and face him. I nodded my head, trying to breathe but the thought of staying in another person's apartment was making me sick. Eugene was right, I had to remind myself of that over and over. This was not my fault, it was out of my own element, and I had to accept that.

"I know." I said back to him, then shrugging off my own helmet and then getting an idea in my head. Something that I forgot about back in the previous town when we were together alone in an apartment. I gave Eugene a small smile, pointing to his hair.

"You up for a haircut?" I asked him.

* * *

><p>"If you cut off my ear, I will kill you." Eugene warned me as I got my fingers in his hair with the scissors in one hand. He was sitting in front of me in a chair and I giggled from his warning that was supposed to sound threatening, but it was not even close coming from him. He got out a record that was already stowed away, having it play for us and having me notice that it was French music and he was humming along with it.<p>

"I'll try real hard." I explained to him in a smooth tone, seeing him grin in front of me as I started to slowly snip at his hair. I felt how soft this hair was, though it was jet black and reminded me of the night sky. It contrasted so well with his pale skin, having me eve wonder if he was tan ever once in his life. But I liked how it looked on him, already having him look different from the rest of the men.

"Who taught you how to cut hair, anyways? Your dad?" Eugene asked me in curiosity.

"Yep, when I was thirteen. He taught Joe and myself after our thirteen birthday," I explained as I snipped away some more in the living room, "Although, Joe almost knicked me in the neck once when we were practicing on each other. Our mother almost had a heart attack."

"I can picture that in my head actually." Eugene joked aloud as I moved over to the other side of his head, feeling out the length and where I was going to cut next. As I went on with the hair session, I could hear Eugene humming to the tune of the record player, knowing the words and mumbling them under his breath. It made me happy, seeing him in such a happier moment than worrying me about all the time.

"You know the song?" I asked him softly as I got more of his hair snipped off and was looking at his head in a new angle.

"I know what she's saying. Perks of knowing the French language." Eugene replied simply to me, having me see how his hands were folded on his lap and still humming to the song.

"Well, translate for me." I said to him as I paused in my haircut session with him, seeing where the next spot is on my head that I had to work with. Eugene paused at first, listening to the lyrics that were floating through the room. When I got to working on the next part of his head, he started to say it out loud with his accent making the tone of his voice sounding so low in the room that it almost sounded haunting:

" _Hold me close and hold me fast,_

_the magic spell you cast,_

_This is la vie en rose_."

He said aloud with the rhythm of the music, having me pause after taking a snip from his hair. For some reason, I thought he was singing that to me. It sounded silly, so childish to think about, but I really did think that he was singing that to me. It wasn't singing really, mostly just saying the words. But the way he said it, how it was both soothing and rough because of his accent. It made me really see him as someone that I was in love with. After even a couple of fights together, knowing each other like the back of our hands, and also being each other's anchor when we were stressed or tired or angry. We protected each other, loved each other beyond ties of friendship, and it was getting more and more intense as the war went by.

"_When you kiss me, heaven sighs_

_And though I close my eyes_

_I see la vie ne rose_

_When you press me to your heart_

_I'm in a world apart_

_A world where roses bloom._" Eugene kept going with the words though I stayed still behind him. My one hand was on his shoulder, since it was where I placed it when I was cutting his hair. But Eugene then reached up to hold our hands together. I was kind of glad that we were alone, since I could feel the blush coming onto my cheeks and my other hand was about to shake since he was holding my hand now and we were very close to each other.

It almost felt out of place then, since I never thought I would have feelings like this towards another person, another guy. There was never really a thought of when I would ever fall in love, it seemed out of the cards for me. I was plain, that's what I thought to be fair. No guys were lining up to go out on dates with me, not like my younger sister whom was the beauty in our family. It might of been because of my brother and his protective nature over me, or the fact that my nose were more into books and the sand on the baseball diamond because I liked to play with the boys. I had no clue, and I still had no clue when I was with Eugene.

"Why do you like me, Eugene?" I asked him out of the blue, seeing him pause with his translation of the song and then look over his shoulder at me. I could see the confusion knitted on his face, his eyebrows knitting together in wonder and a bit of concern since I asked him so bluntly. I wanted to now, I really wanted to know why he would like me. I was too much of a mess, still a mess though he kept telling me over and over that I was okay.

Maybe it was because I was afraid to be this vulnerable to someone since I never was with a guy before. He didn't say anything at first, but I felt him tug my hand to move around him to stand in front of him now. He was watching me now from his chair, not moving but giving me a serious stare, though I was wanting to so badly shake in the BDU pants and boots.

"Why do you think I like you?" He asked me back as a counter question. It had me take a step back, but still hold his hand as to why he asked me that in the first place.

"I don't…I don't know why you like me." I merely confessed to him, seeing him say nothing at first but then he got up from his chair, facing me completely and titled his head at me a bit.

"I think I can give you plenty of reasons why I like you," Eugene explained to me smoothly, as if he was no trouble telling me this, "For starters, I think you're beautiful.."

"I'm not." I countered with him, but he took another step closer to me to silence me and have me suddenly afraid of how bold he was being with me.

"You are beautiful, Jemima," He reassured me, "Not to mention bold with what you know in medicine. I swear, you blow me out of the water with what you know about medicine and how to help people. You're have a bigger heart than you give yourself credit for, and you're also selfless with us in Easy." I said nothing as he told me this, in both a loving and in a stern way. He was trying to show me why he always wanted to hug me, kiss me on against my lips and skin, and how just holding my hand was enough for him to get through the day.

"You bring out the best in me, and I'm never had that with someone in my life, not once. I like how you want me to be bolder, to speak my mind more, how just looking at me makes me feel like I'm a better person for you. I don't care about your Epilepsy and how it makes you feel like you're not good enough for me, because I can keep telling you over and over that you're far beyond good enough for me." Eugene paused from telling me these things, having me now look at him in shock now since he was practically spilling out his feelings for me and sharing with me how he did feel about me.

"I'm just glad I told you this now." Eugene ended, almost in a scared tone as I took own step closer to him, almost breather each other in now as I saw that his face was now looking concerned than it did before.

"Why?" I asked him, now worried that another thought was plaguing his mind. But he didn't say anything, though I caught some kind of notion form what he was thinking. We were in way over our own heads with each other and since we were still in the middle of the war, who knew what was going to happen to us. I hit me hard like bricks, almost like the explosion in Foye all over again. One of us could, in fact, die, one of us could be lost, and the other was going to have to be left behind to pick up the pieces.

"One of us could…one of us could die." I voiced out, barely even making a sound from it since it was sinking under my skin again, but not in a good way. I never wanted to think about it, call me optimistic, but I never wanted to have the realistic thought come into this situation that we had. But it was when I saw it, and it must of shown on my face, when Eugene snapped back into his protective mode and gently placed his fingers against my neck to have me look at him and not look away from him anymore.

"No…that's….that's not what I meant." He tried to not have this conversation go down that road. But I shook my head at him.

"It is, one of us is going to die pretty soon and it's better to say what we're feeling before that happens." I explained to him boldly now, no longer afraid, "I don't want you to not know I'm feeling about you when I have another seizure that could kill me, or when I step on a landline or get in front of a German gun."

"Wait, Jemima, that's not—" Eugene started to try and make me stop, but I beat him to the punch by tell him the three words that I threatened to never tell until I knew I was ready.

"I love you." That was the ultimate bomb in this whole war. I never said that to a person, ever. It felt like I was about to jump off a plane all over again, falling with no sense of knowing if I was going to land. But it had to be true, since that Eugene was in this world was good, beyond good. He was holding everything in my life together in such a way that I had to tell him what I was feeling towards him.

At first he said nothing, but his face was showing me all that I needed to know. Why was I afraid of what he was going to say or do? It was like I placed all the spotlight on him now and he was just going to stand there? But he then framed my face in his hands, leaning in to brush my lips against his and stand here. We were kissing in the middle of the room, with no one to hide from and no one to fear. As soon as I kissed him back, my hands going to his waist and holding him there, he suddenly kissed me deeply and I moaned. Something snapped inside of him, something that made my eyes roll to the back of my head as he then walked the both of us to the wall.

I was against it now, kissing him back and seeing him now shrug off his jacket within a second, throwing it to the floor while he was still kissing me. I took off my own too, the both of us still in our shirts as he wrapped one arm around my waist to have me against his body and the other against my neck to feel my heart rate going up so fast that it was chilling. Everything on my skin felt like sparks, the sparklers on the fourth of July. It was all touching my skin as he kept kissing me, over and over and holding me close to never let me go. This is what love felt like, this was what love was all about, wasn't it?

I pulled away from him, needing to breathe for once and already missing his kisses against my lips as he looked at me dead in the eyes. He was warmth again, he was everything so bright in the world that I didn't need anything else in order to be happy. I wanted him, I wanted Eugene Roe from Louisiana, and I only prayed he felt the same.

"I love you too, Jemima Leibgott." he said to me with such a softness to his tone that it made it so real. We loved each other, and to me that was all that mattered in that moment in time for us. Now I felt as though I could die happy and at peace since I had someone who loved me. I grinned at him, seeing him now smile and lean up to kiss both of my eyelids in which delicacy and carefulness, then my cheeks and then along my neck again.

"You've become bold, Eugene." I stated in a gasp as he kissed the scars there, his hands were on my hips now and gripping me gently but with also some possession behind me. He grinned against my neck, pulling back enough to have me see his face as he gave me a wide smile that had my own heart flutter.

"I have you to blame for that, though you're less reckless and cocky." He countered back with me, having me giggle and hide my face in my hands and try not to blush in front of him. It was all silly, though it was a mind blowing moment between us.

"I can't believe you called me cocky." I said into my hands that were hiding my face, but he grabbed my hands to pull them down so he can see my face again.

"But I like it." Eugene said aloud, having me roll my eyes.

"Never took you for a guy who runs after the cocky girls." I revealed to him, seeing him shake his head and leaned in to kiss me softly to shush me from not saying anything else. I welcomed the kiss with his arms back around me and we were still against the wall, kissing into the rest of the night and having no care between us.

It was nice that we both said that we loved each other, yet we could still be simple with our holds on one another and our kisses against each other.

* * *

><p>We were riding in the truck again, though this time I was riding with Webster and Garcia this time in their truck along what was a highway. We were going to another town, and as we were riding along, I could see a sea of surrendered German soldiers asking together down the middle of the strip. We had plenty of tricks and jeeps on our sides, though they stuck together like glue as they marched in the opposite way as us. I watched with my eyes, not wanting to do or say anything, but I was wrong with Webster. He was fuming, seeing each German rank going by us as he then suddenly shot up from his spot on the bench. He grabbed the top bar while we were still riding along, then pointing to the Germans with a deadly point.<p>

"Hey, you! Hey! You!" He screamed as both Garcia and I looked in confusion and fear, "That's right! You stupid Kraut bastards! That's right! Say hello to Ford! And General fucking Motors! You stupid fascist pigs! Look at you! You have horses! What were you thinking?" Garcia then grabbed him as I looked up at him with wide eyes. This was not Webster at all, he snapped as soon as he saw the Germans, whom were still marching in pride.

"That's enough, Webster. Give it a rest." Garcia said to him as he tanked him back down onto the bench and he was still fuming. I wanted to lay a hand on him, but I didn't move from my spot as he then looked back up with grimace.

"Dragging our asses half way around the world. Interrupting our lives," he said in a low tone, then shooting up again and looking at the German once more in hate, "For what?! You ignorant, servile scum! What the fuck are we doing here?!" He screamed out, then sitting back down and holding his head in his hands and I looked past Garcia and Webster, onto the keep that was right behind us. It was Nixon and in the jeep, watching the whole thing and saying nothing. I said nothing, because I was thinking the exact same question as Webster.

What were we doing here?

* * *

><p>The day after we rode into Landsburg, I was out walking with Eugene and we were going to head over on a jeep to the local hospital, another routine that we were used to. Some of the boys went out on patrol and weren't going to be back anytime soon, but the sun was high enough to where we needed to move out to the hospital and quickly.<p>

"I don't know, Eugene," I said to him in a worried tone as we walked together, shoulder to shoulder, "He looked like he could snap a tree in half if he could."

"He was that bad?" Eugene asked me as we stopped walking and faced each other.

"Yeah, cursing them out and everything. I wanna check up on him and make sure he's okay." I said to him, seeing him nod his head as we both heard someone running back into town in a fast pace. We both looked, seeing that it was Perconte. I was about to yell out at him and see what was going on, but the look on his face said it all. He looked like he was about to have a panic attack, it was evident on his face. This was not good to me, since he was my friend and he was pale in the face. Even in his running, I knew something was wrong.

"Frank?" Eugene asked aloud to make sure he was seeing what I was seeing. I nodded my head as we both started walking over to him now. He was trying to find someone, helmet in hand as he was going from person to person. This made me really panic now, and I broke into a jog to get over to him. This was not like Frank, he was more collective and calm about certain things.

"You guys seen an officer?" He asked to another set of soldiers, whom shook their heads as both Eugene and I approached him.

"Perconte? What's going on?" I asked him in wonder as he now looked at me. His eyes were wide, sweat on his forehead from running and his breathing was also out of place.

"Jem, I need to find Lipton or Winters, we…..we found something." He explained to me.

"What did you find?" I asked him, shifting a bit now since whatever it was was shaking him to the core. Perconte took in a deep breath, and he told me exactly what they saw. After he told me, I was at a lost for words as I felt the helmet I was carrying under my arm fall to the floor.

God no.


	30. Chapter 30

"Open it up." I stood behind Winters with a look of pure sadness on my face as I we were not looking at what seemed to be…some kind of camp. When Perctone explained to us what they saw on patrol, he hunted down Winters and told him what he told me…..it was a camp of some sort and there were people in there. I didn't believe it, but the way he told it to me, making my own blood still and my own heart drop to the floor. It didn't seem real, almost like a nightmare.

But we went with him anyways, since Winters too was confused as to what Frank meant. We rode through the forest on the jeeps and trucks, approaching the area and I could already smell something in the air that was not right and not pleasant at all. It was a threatening smell, having me squirm already in the jeep that I rode in with Eugene. We both looked in confusion and horror as we saw the men who were behind the fence looking at us with both shock and confusion. Did they even look like men? All I could see on them were bones, poking out from under their skin and the prison type things they wore gray and white stripped clothes with hats on. But one thing that stuck out to me that made my own heart sink, was a bright yellow star on their jackets. It was contrasting with the none colors pajamas they were wearing as I looked at them some more. They had no hair, it was shaven off.

Living skeletons.

The fences were so high up in the air with me seeing barbed wires, smoke coming out from what looked like wooden huts and houses that were inside the enclosed area. There were at least two hundred men in there as we crossed the railroad tracks that were next to the camp, all looking at us with haunted eyes and faces. Their fingers were itching through the openings of the barbed wire, looking at me with their wide eyes as we unloaded the trucks and approached the fence.

"Stand back, give us some room here. Stand back." Christenson said to the men as we got cutter out to get the fence free. They didn't know any English, I figured as much as they moved away when we opened the fence. But as soon as we opened it, I saw the men coming out slowly, trying to keep their own feet on the ground as they staggered out.

"All right, boys. These people need care. Give them water and any spare rations you might have. Grab me some blankets, quick." Lipton entrusted the men as we were going through the road slowly. Eugene and I walked together, though I could see our men walking and being bombarded by the prisoners there. They were being hugged, kissed on the cheek, getting tear stains on their shirts, it was all too much. I had questions going on in my head as I heard Winters call out for my brother since he knew German. These men were trying to talk to us, embracing us as if we were heroes when we walk in slowly, looking around at the horror that was there.

"Oh my god. Dick?" I heard Nixon behind me, having me look and see a prisoner approach Shifty and mourn at him. He was holding a man in his arms, almost like a bride, but he almost looked like death himself. Poor Shifty, he had no idea what to do, so he simply said, "I'm sorry." Grant gave him some his water and I felt more pain in my own heart for our men seeing these prisoners come to them with weary shoulders and looks on their faces.

"Jesus, Web, can you believe this place?" Luz asked as Eugene and I saw them pass us. Webster and Luz were wrapping their arms around themselves, looking at the place in horror.

"No." Webster could only reply in shock.

"My God." Luz said in pain. I could hear my brother next to me, translating for an inmate that was talking to him, Winters and Nixon.

"He said the guard left this morning, sir." My brother said aloud as I looked around me, making a circle in my steps and tears were threatening to come down my face now.

"_Langsamer, bitte, langsamer_." (slowdown, please, slowdown) My brother said to the prisoner, who was the only one who was standing up straight and looked well enough to talk to. He kept talking to my brother as I looked to Eugene, seeing horror on his face.

"Jesus, Eugene. What is this place?" I asked Eugene next to me as he kept a death grip on my hand when we walked through the gates and down the main road that was within the camp. I could see Janovec being hugged by a man, kissed on both cheeks and he was in pure shock. All of our men were since we were all wondering the same question.

What in the hell was going on?

"I have no idea, _Chere_." He replied to me as one man approached us, looking right at me and having me see how dangerously skinny he was and how he looked like he was on the brink of death. I and to go into my nursing mode, though my own side wanted to cry tears of sadness from what I was seeing in front of me.

"Some of the prisoners tried to stop them. Some of them were killed. They didn't have enough ammo for all the prisoners…They killed as many as they could…Before they left the camp." My brother went on translating as I focused back on the man in front of me.

"_Sprechen Sie Englisch?"_ (You speak English) I asked him carefully, seeing him shake his head with big tears in his eyes as he then started to shake, having me immediately see him fall to the floor on his bony knees, holding his head in his hands and sob. I didn't know what to do at that moment, since he broke down in front of me and I didn't even know him. So I knelt down in front of him and I heard him weep some more.

"_Lass much dir helfen_." (Let me help you.) I explained to him in a soft manner, seeing him look up at me again with his big glossy eyes and a small smile on his face.

"_Möchten Sie Wasser?" _(Do you want water?) I asked him, seeing him nod his head as I then fished out my canteen and handed it to him, As he took it with his bony fingers, which made me sad even more, I saw someone else approach Eugene and he started talking to him in German. Eugene looked like a deer in the headlights now, not knowing what to do, but I listened to what the man was saying, whom looked like he was merely a teenager but with a face of a forty year old.

"Will you ask them…Will you ask them what kind of camp this is? What…uh…why are they here?" Winters asked Joe to ask the prisoner, his voice was so soft and so broken when he said there as Joe asked, _"Was is das heir?" _(What is this here?)

"_Bitt Helfen Sie mir, icy brauche Nahrung. _(Please help me, I need food.) he said to Eugene as Eugene looked petrified since he had no idea what he was saying. He looked over at me for help.

"Eugene, he wants food." I translated for him as I looked back to the man in front of me, whom drank down most of the canteen water before coughing and having me rub his back, But as I did this, I felt every bone there, making me now petrified since they were all just as skinny as this man in front of me.

"_Mein Name ist Jemima_." (My name is Jemima.) I said to the man, pointing to myself to show him that I meant no harm, "_Ich vein Arzt_." (I am a doctor.)

"_Ich bin Adam_." (I am Adam.) He said to me in a broken tone, having me smile at him as I showed him my satchel, having me see his eyes look to see the red cross on the flap as I saw Eugene give the man in front of him his rations. The man devoured it as I focused back on the man.

"_Was ist hier passiert?_' (What happened here?) I asked him in wonder, since this was still a confusion memory for me to drink in. The man looked at me now in confusion, did he not know why he was here?

"_Sie lieben ins, sie lieben uns_." (They left us, they left us.) he said to me over and over in now a fast rate, as if he was trying to get it off his chest before something else happened to him. I raised my hands at him to have him slow down, but he was still going on with his rant.

"_Were hat dich verlassen?_" (Who left you?) I asked him as I saw Eugene kneel down to be next to me as the man who was with him walked away now, still looking out of it.

"_Verbrecher?_" (Criminals?) I heard my brother ask the prisoner, whom shook his head and started listening things off one by one. I tuned in as the man in front of me talked once again.

"_Die Wachen, Sie lieben uns_." (The guards, they left us.) He replied back to me. I was about to answer him when the prisoner who was talk to Joe spoke out one phrase and make me freeze and look over at him in pure horror on my face. This could not be what I thought it was, it made no sense and it made me want to scream.

"_Juden…Juden…Juden."_

Jews.

"Oh Jesus….God no….please no." I gasped out loud, seeing the man in front of me close his eyes and gasp out in shame as he got up, wobbly at the knees and walked away from me. I stayed on the floor though, like I was shackled to the earth from what was said to Joe and the others. This could not be the case, why could it be? I felt a knot was in my chest and it was threatening to be ripped out. These men, these prisoners….they were all Jews. Jews, Polish, and Gypsies. It made me sick to my stomach as my brother voiced out what else was said from the prisoner, who was now mourning as I placed my hands of my mouth to hold back the scream that wanted to come out.

"The women's camp is at the next railroad stop." Joe translated out loud as the prisoner walked away in mourning. I finally looked over my shoulder at my twin, seeing him look down at his feet and almost gasp out in pain. These were Jews, our people. Our own race was being slaughtered here, worked to death and being killed by German soldiers and officers. It was not something that we expected, but it was blow to our ego. Was this what our mother and father were running from when they left Europe? Did they know? I saw the fear and hate in my brother's eyes, how his shoulders sagged in defeat and shock as he finally looked up and over at me. I got up from my spot, needing to find my brother as I felt the tears coming over me now with the here shock that Jews were killed here.

"Joe." I gasped out, trying to breathe when nothing was coming out. He reached out to me, grasping my shoulder and pulling me into his embrace. Eugene went off to help with the prisoners, but I was focused on my twin brother. I stayed there, not wanting to lose my brother. This could have been us if we stayed here in Europe and not have migrated to America as infants. If our parents chose to stay here, we would have been in these camps….rotting and dying….

"This could have….could have been us…" I said to him into his jacket as I had no intention of letting him go. He nodded next to my head, knowing what I was saying as I was having all this hitting me hard. Why Jews? Why were they the targets? Why were we spared? This felt too real for me to drink in.

"I know, Jemmie. I know." he said to me over and over as I clutched his jacket for another moment or two before I moved away from him, looking around me and seeing more and more men who were in need of aid. I had to out on a brave face for them since they were looking to us now for help. Although I wanted to run from here, I had no choice but to put on a brave face for the sake of my role as a Sergeant and carry on with what I needed to do. I breathed out one last time before moving away from my brother, rubbing my face with one hand as the other was on my satchel.

"I'm gonna…I'm gonna help them…" I trailed off, moving away from my brother. He caught my hand, having me look back at him and I gazed at him. He looked lost, beyond lost as he then gave me a cold stare.

"Don't leave me." He warned me, but I shook my head.

"I need to help them." I brokenly replied, but he shook his head.

"No, Jemmie…don't you dare leave my fuckin' sight." He warned me again, his voice was broken and on the verge of tears. I knew what he was trying to do: he wanted to protect me now. We were both Jewish Americans in a Jew camp…this was dangerous for us. He thought I was going to go to my death if I left him.

"Come on then, Joe. Come with me." I urged him, seeing him walk with me as we both walked together, holding hands and looking at the sights in front of me. It was all too real for us, almost having me feel like I was a child again and getting the slurs from the neighborhood children because I was a Jew. But this was worse, these people were getting murdered because they were Jews.

"Look at their arms. Like cattle." Babe said to Malarky as they were looking at come dead bodies along the road. I looked with my eyes, seeing the small numbers on their arms, a branding on them. It made me sick.

"_Wirst du mir helfen_?" (Will you help me?) A prisoner asked us, looking like he too was a teenager as he came to us. Although he looked a bit healthier than the rest of the men, he too had bones poking out of his skin and that made me afraid for him. What got me were his eyes, the brightest of green that reminded me of the fields in Holland, contrasting with his gray and unhealthy skin and his prison attire. I nodded my head, opening my satchel and starting to get some things out when I heard him gasp. I looked up, thinking I did something wrong. He placed his finger against my chest, against my dog tags with huge eyes now. They must have slipped out from behind my white shirt, hanging in front of me now in the open. Joe was about to push him away, since he must of though that the prisoner was going to hurt me, but I stopped him as he was pointing and pressing his finger against something I forgot I wore with my dog tags: The Star of David.

"_Juden?_" (Jew?) He asked me in a sorrowful tone. I felt tears in my eyes then, having me see that this was breaking his heart now that he saw another Jew in front of him that was not in pain or about to die. I nodded my head slowly, pointing to myself with my own finger.

"_Juden…Ich bin Jude._" (Jew…I am a Jew.) I said to him in a broken tone, then seeing him look over to my brother. Joe reluctantly drew out his own dog tags with his own Star of David pendant there, showing him that he too was a Jew. I watched the man careful as he started to mourn in front of us, shaking like a leaf as I looked beyond the man. There was something in the distance, what looked like a massive hill. But it wasn't dirt, nor was it any other earthly material at all. It made me want to scream since it was of bodies.

Dead bodies.

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><p>"Sir." I approached Winters as he was about to go talk to Colonel Sink with a plan as to how to get the men some treatment. We were about to be done with all that we could do before we resorted to going into town and getting food and medicine for them. All of us Medics did the best we could, but we realized that it was not good enough. They needed food, but enough food to get them by and not get them sick. We now had trucks filled with food and bread, in which the prisoners were now swamping the trucks to get some food in them. It looked terrible, and out of my own control. After a least another hours of us trying to find and sort the prisoners, I remembered something Joe said to Winters from what he was told by a prisoner.<p>

"Sergeant Liebgott." Winters said back to me as I approached both himself and Nixon.

"Sir, I want to go to the women's camp." As soon as I said this, they both looked at me in shock. I knew that was going to happen, but I said nothing and waited as they collected themselves.

"The woman's camp?" Winters asked me in confusion.

"The prisoner explained that there was a woman's camp up the road at the next railroad stop. I want to find the camp and help those prisoners there, sir." I explained to him calmly, though I was still emotional about the whole situation. I hated this, I hated being there and seeing my people suffering and almost dying in front of me. Seeing corpses and men who looked like corpses walking around made me sick and want to cry, but this was only the men. There had to be more to it than that, and it was all about the women's camp now.

"Jem, we need to stay here and help these men." Winters explained to me calmly.

"Sir, we have plenty of Medics here that can look after the men. There is no one going to the women's camp at this time, and they might need more help than we can imagine." I explained to him again, trying to keep my own anger down from the mere thought of women were being treated the same way excuse they too were Jews. This whole thing broke my heart over and over again, and I wanted it to stop.

"Jem, we don't have an officer to take over there to help with the flow and the protocol." Nixon argued with me next to Winters, but I already thought of that.

"I can take charge there." I said back to him, the two of them looking at me now in with more shock on their faces. I didn't care if I was a woman that was going to take charge, all I cared about was trying to get to the women there who might still be alive and dying. Nixon and Winters just looked at each other, as if trying to read each other's minds and see what could be done. I waited, though my fingers were tapping against my pants and my jacket with impatience laced there. I could see the other men going into jeeps to hit the town and get food for the people there.

"Let me talk to Sink and see what we can do." Winters explained to me calmly, then walking over to both Sink and our Regiment Sergon, Dr. Kent. They were having heated discussion, having me bite my lip in aggravation as I heard people coming up behind me. Turning around, I saw it was Bull, Webster and Luz. Looking past them, I could see Eugene and another Medic helping one prisoner with bandages from what looked like a arm wound.

"Jem….you doin' alright?" Bull asked me with worry. I was about to ask him why, but I froze. I knew where he was coming from: I was a Jew. So this must be hitting me extra hard since I was seeing my own race being killed in front of me, or at least the after effects of it.

"I don't know….I…I don't know anymore." I said back to him still trying to breathe but getting the smell of burning bodies invading my sense all over again. I coughed, wanting to get something over me like a shield to not breathe that in anymore. I reached into my own satchel then, grabbing the deep purple bandana that was there and I tried to tie it on. However, the shaking of my fingers was making it hard.

"Here, let me get it." Luz said in a soothing manner, seeing that I was trying so hard not to cry again. He tied the bandana around my neck as I watched him with my eyes. He looked like he was hurting as well as I, the pain was on his face and there was no trace of joy as he would usually have. He was supposed to be my breath of fresh air, but it was no longer there.

"Thanks." I thanked him, seeing him give me a wide but hollow smile. I looked back over at Winters, Sink and Dr. Kent. They were having some kind of intense conversation going on.

"I wanna go find the other camp." I said to the three of them again.

"What other camp?" Webster asked me in confusion.

"A prisoner said there's a women's camp at the next railroad stop, I wanna go find it and help those people there." I explained to him, seeing him once again look lost from the information that I gave him. So did Luz and Bulll, having me feel bad that I told them.

"Shit." Bull said under his breath as I then saw Winters call over my brother to talk to him, maybe to translate something to the prisoners whom were still trying to get bread from the trucks.

"If I go to the camp, will you come with me?" I asked the three of them again, seeing them do or say nothing at first. I wanted men whom I could trust can help me if I was going to go to the next camp, and these three were the ones that I would trust with my life. Hell, I could every Easy Company member with my life, other than the fair few that make me angry, but I trusted them all none the less.

"I'll come with you." Luz said after a moment or two of not saying a word. I smiled at them, thought it was hurting me to smile. Bull nodded his head at me as Webster shifted a bit in his spot.

"You'll need another translator with you. You want your brother to go?" Webster asked as I then looked back at my brother again behind us. I could tell something was off with him now, since he once again looked like he was about to be sick. I got concerned, getting into a defensive stance as I watched him walk over to one of the trucks, standing on the top and facing the prisoners.

"No…he's been through enough." I replied back to Webster, watching with my eyes as he started speaking to the prisoners in German.

"And you haven't?" Luz asked me in a lower tone, but I didn't answer him. Joe was telling the prisoners to go back inside the camp…what in the hell? Why would he say that? I could hear the moaning of the men as they were shaking their heads in horror and fear. This was the worst, telling them to go back to the place that almost killed them. What was going on?

"What the fuck." I gasped out as I moved away from the men, hearing my brother tell the prisoners that it was for their own good. But I was looking at his face, seeing the pain there and how he was griping the rail on the top of the truck like it was holding him to the earth. He was slowly dying from the inside out and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Once he said all that he could say, I was already over at Winters and Dr. Kent.

"What was that, Web?" Bull asked Webster for a translation as I saw Dr. Kent and Winters look over at me.

"Sir, we can't keep them in here." I started to protest with him, but Dr. Kent took over to talking to me.

"Sergeant, we can't let them run out of here. We need to patrol their eating and see how they handle eating the food. If we let them go and eat at the rate they're eating right now, they're gonna die." Dr. Kent explained to me carefully as I then stopped and breathed in all that he was saying. As a nurse, I knew he was telling the truth: We had to monitor how they are eating and get them better. But the other side of me the Jewish side, wanted me to let them run away from here and not look back. I looked to Winters to see he was telling the truth, but he kept silent with me. He knew I was hurting, and I just sighed in frustration.

"Goddamnit." I said under my breath as I then looked to find the truck where I was brother was it. I had to find him, find him and make sure he was alright. So I moved away from Winters and Dr. Kent, weaving my way through the prisoners who were being bearded back to the camp by our men and I got to the truck.

"Joe?" I called out, hopping up into the back of the truck and seeing some men there already. They moved out of the way for me, having me see my brother in the corner of the truck, head in his hands and he was sobbing. I suddenly forgot what it was like to be a soldier, and I remembered what it was like to be a sibling, I walked over to him, standing in front of him and seeing him no move, but cry into his hands and look less of a man and more of a boy. He had to deliver the blow, and all I could do for him was give him comfort.

I wrapped my arounds around his head, almost like a shield as he wrapped his arms around my middle, crying into my belly and having me just comfort him there. I felt his pain then, no longer wanting to see it on his face anymore. But he had to look at these men, tell them to go back, that was too much. I could feel the tears hitting my jacket and shirt now as I just held him there, wanting him to ride out the pain that he was feeling against me. Better me than anyone else.

"I'm right here, Joe. It's okay." I whispered into his hair as he cried some more, gripping my jacket tightly in between his bony fingers and shaking so hard from his tears. I rested my head against his, hunched over to shield his body from others seeing. At this point, I didn't think either one of us cared if the other soldiers were seeing us crying into each other and holding each other like weaklings. Bur we weren't, we were siblings who were fighting to protect each other.

"Sergeant Liebgott." I heard from outside the truck, having me snap my head up to see Nixon waiting for me at the end of the truck, looking grave as well as the next guy. I unwrapped myself slowly from my brother, hating that I was leaving him there in tears. I squatted down to be face to face with him, seeing him rub his face to get the tears away from there. Moving his hair from his eyes, I gave him an intense stare.

"You gonna be okay?" I asked him carefully, seeing him nod his head and not say a word. I looked back at Nixon, seeing him still wait for me as I got back up on my feet. I planted a kiss in my brother's brown hair, squeezing his shoulder and then moving away from him to get off the truck. As I was about to hop off, I saw someone else get on to sit next to Joe, it was Grant and Shifty.

"Grant, stay with my brother. Keep an eye on him for me." I ordered him, seeing him nod his head as I hopped off the truck and walked to Nixon.

"We got the green light to go to the women's camp." He said to me, having me nod my head and then seeing him watch me, "I don't want you to go by yourself though. I'm going to go with you and help out."

"I wanna take some men with us, sir." I explained to him.

"That's fine. Who do you wanna take with us?" Nixon asked me as I started to fidget with my fingers in front of him.

"I want Webster, Luz, Bull, Babe, Garcia and Spiers, sir. Along with some other Medics who are available." I recited the names in front of him calmly, though I was still shaking from seeing my own brother in tears. Nixon gave me a short nod as I saw someone coming up behind him. It was Eugene, and he looked at us with panic in his eyes.

"Done. I'll get them prepped and we head out in five minutes." Nixon instructed me.

"Sir." I replied as he walked away in his brisk manner. It was happening, and I had to relive the nightmare once more with a new camp and new demons to get through. Eugene approached me them, seeing what was going on and he looked confused.

"What's going on?" He asked me, already making me want to cry from seeing the pain on his face then.

"I'm taking some men with Nixon and I…we're going to the women's camp." I explained to him calmly, seeing him take out a shaky breath before talking again.

"I'll come with you," he started, though I shook my head, "I can help you with anything over there…"

"No, Eugene you need to stay here and be with these men." I explained to him carefully now, seeing the hurt on his face since I rejected his invitation to come with me. I grabbed both of his hands in my own, watching him scan me with his eyes, "You need to watch my brother for me…I don't know if he's going to be okay or—"

"Jemima, I don't want you to go." He said in a hushed tone, since i could tell he was trying to keep his own voice down about the whole thing.

"I have to go, Eugene. It's a women's camp and I'm the only one in this Company that can go and help them." I said to him in my own hushed tone. I was about to talk to him some more when I heard two jeeps coming over in our direction, having me grimace since I knew they were coming for me. I grabbed his arm, pulling to the backside of the truck since that would give us enough privacy.

Once we were there, I pulled him into a intense kiss, wanting to engrave it there for him to remember why I stayed for so long in the army. He was one that kept me going and now it was my turn to go off on my own without him holding my hand. He kissed me back, framing my neck with his fingers as I was clutching his jacket with my own fingers. Once we pulled away, I rested my forehead against his and I breathed out slowly.

"I love you, Eugene. I'll be back, I promise you." I reassured him in a gasp as I heard the jeep honk once more. Eugene nodded my head, kissing me one more time before I had to move and walk away from him. I didn't look back, since I knew it would break my heart from seeing him heartbroken in front of me. Nixon was in the driver's seat, the others were sitting in the back and the front passenger seat was open for me. I hopped in, looking back at Eugene once more and seeing him watch me with sad eyes. If I were in his position, I would be heartbroken too. Not that the one person I loved for was leaving me, but they were going into another dark place that could drive them to madness. He never wanted that for me, yet here I was. I gave him a small smile as Nixon drove off in the jeep with our men, having me close my eyes and dread for the worst.

Round two.

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><p><strong>Eugene's POV:<strong>

I paced back and forth in the hallway of the apartment building, bring my nails again and wondering when she was going to come back. It was already nightfall and we got the prisoners from the men's camp ready at the hospital to be taken care of. After Jemima left with some of the men to go to the next camp, we finished up with that camp as much as we could before we went back into town for some rest. Some of the men were beyond exhausted, and I was too. But I was too occupied with worry about her, when was she coming back?

Her brother went to his room without speaking, still a wreck and not doing anything else but sit there in silence, wondering why all this happened. I did too, it didn't seem like something that would happen in the real world. But this war, was bring all the badness of this world right in front of me, in front of us. Those dying men, they saw us as a light in their darkness, and we were the ones who were just trying to survive a simple war. They were trying to survive death, because of the fact that they were Jews.

I knew it affected Joe and Jemima the worst, I could see it in their faces and how they tried to stay strong in front of all the men. But it was no use, not really to Jemima. She had to find the other camp, she had to protect them. But who was going to protect her now? That was my job, to protect her. But now she was gone, and all I had to do was wait.

The rest of the men who came back with me were already in their rooms, not saying a word to each other, but drinking in all that we have done. It was too much for all of us, and all we could do was try to move on. How could we though? How could we move on from seeing those faces and seeing death upon their skin. But then I heard the jeep pulling up to the side of the apartment building. I instantly bolted into a run, seeing the men pop their heads out from their rooms.

"Is that them?" Johnny Martin asked as I past his room and ran down the stairs. I had to see if she was okay, if she made it out of there with her brain still intact. I knew she could only take so mach, and she almost broke to pieces already from the camp we were at before we went off to another camp. Once I reached the front door, I saw the jeep through the glass windows as other men were running down the stairs behind me to join me. Throwing open the door, I looked and I saw my own heart drop from what I saw.

It was written all over their faces, I could see it. They were all quiet, grieving in their own manner as the looks that were there signified that it did not go as planned. I panicked, looking at the passenger seat and see Jemima there. But no, it was not the same Jemima that I fell hard for. She was different, death was written on her face. She was staring straight ahead now, her hands folded on her lap and not moving an inch. Bags were under her eyes, which were now cold and no longer breathing life.

"Christ, what happened?" Someone asked from behind me, as some of the men in the jeep looked over at me with the death written on their faces too.

"It's worse." Luz merely replied as I rushed over to Jemima. I could tell there was no energy left in her, and I didn't care what this was going to look on me. I wrapped one arm around her back, hooking my other arm under her legs and I picked her up bridal style. She instantly leaned into me, saying nothing with made me feel even worse. Was she in shock? What happened to her? She felt like a feather in my arms, since she was already lanky enough as it was. However, she also had some muscle from all the running and training that we went through these past years. I moved away from the jeep with her in my arms, seeing Nixon look over at me now with his hands still on the wheel.

"Get her inside and get her warm. The camp wrecked her." He simply ordered me, having me nod my head from that command as the other men in the jeep were slowly getting out too, dramatized from the event. I turned on my heel and walked her into the apartment building, the rest of the men parting for us as I got her to the second floor where her apartment was. I could hear Spiers behind me, telling the others to move back and move away from us. Before going up the stairs, I looked back at Spiers, seeing him look at me now with the same intense stare he always had. But it was softened slightly, having me think that he too was moved by what he saw in the camps.

"Thank you, sir." I mumbled to him, seeing him nod his head once at me. I kept going, Spiers right behind me as I ventured up the stairs.

As I walked with her in my arms, she said nothing and did nothing, which made me feel even worse. I didn't know how to respond to her to talk to her to get her to respond back to me. This was out of my own element. The men watched in shock as I walked with her down the hallway to her place, almost at the very end and I got the door open with my hand was under her legs.

"I can handle it from here, sir." I said to Spiers, who waited outside the apartment near the door. He just gave me a short smile, then looking at Jemima who was still out of it in my arms. Did he care for her? I never saw him give too much care for the others in our Company, other than Lipton since they grew close as friends.

"Let me know if you need anything for her." Spiers explained to me, then walking away before I could say anything. Walking into the living room some more, I looked around for a moment before looking back down at her in my arms. This was breaking me over and over, seeing her there and be trying to bring her back from the dead. So I kissed her head lightly, silently showing her that I was with her, not leaving her.

I tucked her in the bed, laying across from her and wrapping my arms around her. We had the night to engulf us as she closed her eyes finally, having me feel tears hitting my shirt as she started to mourn again. I just held her tight, not wanting her to leave my sight ever again. I could feel her pain within myself, how she gripped me tightly in her fingers and sobbed into my jacket now. I started to pray for her as she sobbed herself to sleep.

God, take this away from her. Please, let her go.


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's Note: Keep leaving me some reviews and let me know how I'm doing! thanks for the support! and this is a smaller chapter for both Jemima and Eugene!**

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><p><strong>3:23 am.<strong>

_I could see them in front of me, the prisoners at the women's camp that I went to. They were all watching me, as if I was guilty of some sin that I committed in front of him. But I couldn't move from them, nor could I run from them. All I could hear from them was the chanting for help, having me wonder if I could ever help them. But I was no use, I was useless now. _

I woke up, seeing that I was back at my apartment again, which had me confused as to how I got there. The last thing I remembered was going into the jeep to leave the camp. It took us a couple more hours, more medical help on the prisoners there and they too are liberated from the camp. We had to do the same thing with these as we did with the men. But after we left, riding in the jeep, I blanked out.

I froze.

This was another type of seizure that I never thought I would get. I only had it once or twice: the ability to loose my own thoughts and mindset for a certain amount of time. Was it how I ended up in the bed with Eugene, holding me close and letting me sob into his shirt? At first I didn't feel anything, but then it hit me hard all over the place. It was all too real: the sights and sounds of the camp that I was at, make that the two camps. It made sense for me to cry, because nothing else could really work for me. So I cried in Eugene's arms, and he did nothing but hold me close and kiss my hair until I fell asleep there on my bed.

I looked around me for a moment or two, seeing that I was alone. This made me panic, where was Eugene? I could have remembered being in his arms when I feel asleep, but now he was nowhere in sight in the bedroom. But I could smell something coming from the front room, something that was both soothing and smelling quite nice. I sat up a bit in the bed, in which I realized that my jacket was off and who were my combat boots, only wearing my BDU pants and my white shirt. Reaching up, my head felt heavy as I tried to calm down my own hair and shove the blankets that were around me down to my waist. I was safe, I was back in my apartment and I was safe. Nothing was going to hurt me, nothing was going to hurt me….

"Hey." I heard ahead of me as I was looking down at the blankets around me, my hands were clutching and releasing the sheets. I looked up finally, seeing Eugene walking over softly and slowly with two cups in his hands and a look of peace on his face. I was afraid that he was going to scared for me, and I would think he would. But he was just giving me a peaceful smile, it made my heart hurt for him.

"I figured you needed coffee." He explained to me as he then sat down on the side of the bed next to me, but giving me enough space so that I wouldn't be spooked. I smiled at him though saying nothing as he handed me the mug. Just holding it in my hands brought back another spark within me, since it was so warm.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked softly, though my voice sounded like it had sandpaper in it.

"Since 20:00, you passed out around 20:30." Eugene explained to me with a careful reply as I took a small sip from the coffee. It tasted so good, having me sigh in relief and feel the headache being less already. I peered into the mug, seeing that it was lighter than black coffee.

"I know you like cream in your coffee, and I scrounged a bit to find you some," Eugene started to explained, seeing that I was dozing off while looking at my mug, "I had to ask a lot of the guys if their places had it, and Perconte finally gave his up—" I stopped him by placing a hand on his arm. He looked at me now as I stared back at him, seeing that he too looked rather lost in the moment as I found my voice again.

"What happened?" I asked him, seeing him not move from his spot but just stare. I was dozing off again, trying to remember what happened to me since I got in the jeep with Nixon and the rest of the boys. The next thing I knew I was crying in the bed with Eugene next to me, but in between I don't remember anything.

"What are you talkin' about?" Eugene asked me, but I shook my head.

"When we came back here….what happened to me?" I asked him with a scared tone on my lips. I finally looked at him, seeing him give me a look that was pure shock, "Did I scream? Was I angry? I don't….remember."

"Jemima," Eugene started, rubbing my arm soothingly with his calloused hand and having me shiver, "You were zoned out. You didn't say anything at all."

"I didn't hurt anyone, did I?" I asked him carefully now, since I could have done that when someone was trying to move me. Eugene shook his head in a rapid pace, scooting closer to me as he placed his own mug on the nightstand next to the bed.

"You did do anything, say anything at all. You were just….out of it." Eugene explained, having me close my eyes and cringe.

"It was a seizure." I said slowly, seeing him give me an intense stare.

"That….that was a seizure? I don't understand." Eugene said to me in disbelief.

"I rarely have this kind….but it happens," I breathed out, seeing him rub my back with his knuckles as he pushed my hair from my eyes, "It's a type of seizure that's not…visible. I can go blank for what seems like hours, but they're just minutes."

"Your mind goes blank?" Eugene asked.

"Basically. I think it happened when….when I left the camp." I explained to him from more, then feeling my face cripple up in pain and sadness, "Oh God….the camp…Eugene…"

"Shh, hey." Eugene suddenly said, having me look up at him again from looking at the sheets. He gave me a reassuring smile as he kissed my forehead so gently his lips felt like flower petals. I just breathed in and out, not wanting to cry anymore since there were no more tears to shed.

"Drink your coffee, and tell me what you wanna tell me." Eugene explained to me so softly as he gestured to my drink, still rubbing my back and having me nod in agreement. He wanted to hear, but not the expense of my damaged mind from what I saw. So I drank down what I could, since it feel soothing to drink at 3:30 in the morning and just be there with Eugene. He had to know what I saw, what the rest of the men saw, and how it made me loose my own mind for a solid few minutes or so. Where was I going to start? How was I going to tell him without breaking down in tears again?

* * *

><p>"It's worse than what we saw at Landsburg," I explained to him as we both were sitting in the bed again, Indian Style and facing each other with our coffee in our hands, "There were far more prisoners there…all of them different ages. They were beyond sick, needing more than just food and water. Some of them couldn't breathe at all because their lungs were failing them.<p>

"But it wasn't just women there…there were children," I paused, sniffling a bit from thinking of those children there, "Eugene, they were just kids and they looked like death. There were so many of them and when we opened the gates they were frozen from seeing us. Some of them were afraid…and I think they must have thought we were going to do what the German officers did to them….they thought we were coming to kill them."

"_Mon Dieu_." (My God.) Eugene said in a low tone from what I was telling him.

"And at this camp…there were….Jesus," I said, taking in another breath before I was going to deliver the blow that I knew was going to kill me, "There were ovens there…as big as rooms… Nixon found them as we were helping out those who came to us. We didn't know what they were, not at first. But One of the prisoners explained to me what it was….we couldn't believe it, Eugene. She event said that there were big rooms that they killed all the prisoners in….showers that gassed them…." I stopped talking them, feeling myself shake all over again as I relived the pictures in my head.

I could see the mass room that the prisoner showed me with great fear in her eyes, how there were big spokes of rain mechanisms up on the ceiling and no windows there. I could smell the chemicals in there, having all of us throw bandanas over our mouths as she explained that they cleaned the cells after each mass killing. They would throw in at least 50 women at a time, only the ones that were too weak or sick to work out in the field.

"They would shoot the kids," I gasped out, tears were coming again and I had the chance on stopping them as Eugene watched in pain, "The ones that were too little…they just shot them like it was a game…..right there in the field." It was all hitting me all over again, the images and the sounds of the women and children that were there when we opened the gates were now there again.

"Jemima….hey you're okay." My eyes were squeezed shut now and I was trying to hard to get the images out of my head as Eugene tried to soothe me. But it was all too much at the same time, it was building up like a storm that was about to hit. I could feel the nosebleed coming down me now, massive blood hitting the bedsheets as my hands were shaking again. It was happening, the seizure was coming over me. I had no control anymore, all because of the flashbacks of the camps. I dropped my mug, hearing it shatter on the floor.

"Jesus! Jemima, you need to breathe, come on, breathe for me!" Eugene was urging me now as my eyes were rolling to the back of my head and my whole body was now in a spasming episode. He dropped his mug too as I could feel his hands holding my arms, he was trying to keep me stable, it was no use. I was grunting from electrical shock going up and down my body as he then lowered me to the bed.

"JOE, SPIERS! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" Eugene screamed on the top of his lungs as I felt my back arch off the bed from the seizure. For some reason, I was getting flashed images of the past battles coming into my mind like a freight train. I could see Carentan in front of me again, how I almost died so many times and then Market Garden and how I was shot in the head.

"Jesus Christ, what's going on?" I heard near me, someone came running in.

"She's having a bad seizure!" Another man said in pain.

"Get her brother, go get Joe. He'll know what to do." Eugene urged them as he was still holding my arms. I couldn't see them, only the past incidents of Bastogne in my head and over my senses. There was snow, snow everywhere and blood tainting the white snow on the floor. Everything was burning and shaking in my body, I have never had this bad of a seizure in such a long time. It was both a lack of sleep, working my way to my weary bones, and then having an emotional breakdown from the camps.

"Christ, move away from her," I heard my brother's voice after a long while of silence. Eugene's released my arms, having me no longer feel the warmth there as I was still riding out the spasms in my body and fingers, "Get anything that could harm her away from her."

"Joe, how bad is it?" Perconte asked, I could hear his voice faintly.

"This is pretty bad. She need to ride it out before we can do anything," Joe replied calmly, but I could hear he was concerned, "What happened before she did this?"

"We were talking about the camp, that's all!" Eugene explained.

"How long has she been like this?" Bull asked somewhere in the fading sense of my brain. I was getting sleepy, the shaking was getting less and less now as I was suddenly falling into that felt like a sleeping mode over me. It was all done, there was nothing else that needed to be done for me since I was now finished with my seizure. I could feel hands farming my face, moving the hair from my eyes to see the damage there, but I wasn't waking up and I wasn't moving anymore. I was still again, still and at peace.

"She's still breathing." Joe said aloud in a softer tone, seeing me breathe in and out slowly as I could feel sleep coming over me finally.

I dreamed that I was back in the library, and Eugene was kissing me.

* * *

><p>I woke up some time later, about 5 in the morning according to the alarm clock on the table. I could see the small shade of light blue and gold from the morning sun coming through the window, but I could also hear voices from the front room, having me freeze in my bed and wait to hear who was there. I don't remember, once again, anything up until I was talking to Eugene.<p>

"She hasn't had one this bad, not in while really," It was Joe and he was speaking rather genuinely and not in pain or sadness, "The last time it was this bad, was when we were kids."

"What happened?" The other voice was Eugene, he was sounding a bit concerned on his end. What were they doing? Talking at the table or on the couch? They didn't leave like the others after I had my episode, they must have been waiting for me to wake up to make sure I was okay.

"We were at least 12..maybe 13. I was in a fight in one of our neighborhood blocks, pretty common for me. Someone called me a slur that they would throw around to the Jewish kids, and I hated it. So I was fightin' this guy out in the street near our house, and I was really lettin' him have it, you know? I remember the guy…Franklin Despet. He was some creep that was in my class, hated his guts. I get a few hits in and then he gets me hard in the jaw, makin' me bleed on the lip," Joe pause, having me suddenly remember that day. We both were so young, so naive to think that we could rule the world together on that street. It was a hot day, and I was wearing a white dress then.

"And here comes Jemmie, running to my rescue as she always does…seeing the blood on my lip made her go crazy. She was always protective of me…in everything, I did. That fight was the worst, since she practically threw Franklin down by his shirt and slammed her fists hard into his stomach so many times we thought he was going to vomit." Joe chuckled after that bit, having me remember that moment as well. Straddling the boy with my fists hitting his stomach, over and over and with hate in my eye because he touched my brother and made him bleed.

"After we pulled her off and we broke up the fight though..we were walking back home when it happened," I could hear Joe's tone was getting more serious as I was seeing in my head, "We were just walking when she froze up….not saying a word or two. I asked her…..I asked her was was wrong….but she collapsed on the floor and just shook for a solid minute or two. I couldn't leave her there, seeing her nose bleed out all over her dress like she sliced open an artery or somethin'. A neighbor saw her and they called our ma and pop. We got her to the hospital before something real bad happened." I cringed, remember walking with him so long ago and then releasing his hand because it came over me so quickly and all I could do was let it ride out. I remembered falling to the floor, how my head hit the concrete hard and the hearing my brother scream out.

"Ever since then we were always on high alert with her, never letting her out of our sight. Man, that rubbed her the wrong way. I didn't tell my ma that she was in the fight too, only that she broke it up between me and the kid. I think that's what did it….her fightin' the guy to protect me…that's what drove her over. She's protective over anyone that's close to her, Doc. I guess…she's selfless to the point of hurtin' herself." Joe explained to Eugene now in his regular tone as I shifted in the bed a bit, wanting to hear more from him.

"I figured as much. She never wants to give up too quickly," Eugene added in almost a grumble, "I see how she pushes herself too far sometimes in how she works."

"Typical Jemmie. I love the girl to death, but sometimes she overthinks about others and not herself." Joe commented though I knew it was true. I can't be mad at him for saying something that was, in fact, true. But I heard nothing for a minute, having me think that they were drinking it all in with what they were saying.

"But you know the thing about her is, Doc? When she signed up for the war, I asked her not to. Hell, I pleaded for her to not even come because I knew that she was going to get herself in trouble over here with her Epilepsy. I thought she wasn't strong enough for it, you know? I only saw the sickness as something that made her fall back, when all Jemmie saw it as something that made her stronger." Joe explained with some lightness in his tone, having me think that he was smiling when he said this to Eugene, "It's like….you know when you were a kid and your parents would have a fight? And after they fight, they try to cover up the fact that they're all broken up and shit? Almost like they're trying to be strong in front of others for the sake of the situation?" I heard nothing, But I would think Eugene was nodding his head in agreement.

"I mean…Jemmie is like that. She tried so hard to be this strong kid in front of me, my parents and everyone else around her who sees her as fragile. Jemmie hates it…she doesn't see herself that way…she thinks she's invincible and all." Joe's voice rang out in the room, having me fee a bit bad for him and all that I put him through as my sister. It was true, all that he said about me. I was too stubborn to admit that I needed help, even as a kid I was a painful since I never wanted anyone to hold my hand or get me help when I had a nosebleed. It was how I wanted myself to be better: put up a wall so no one can get close to me and see me broken. It was bitter to think about, almost making me want to hate myself then.

"I'm kind of glad though…that she has you." My eyes were wide then when I heard Joe say that to Eugene, having me now confused as to why he said that. I could hear the someone shifting on the couch now in awkwardness, having me think that it was Eugene.

"What are you talking about?" Eugene asked Joe.

"Oh, come on, Doc. We all had a pretty good idea that you liked her…maybe even loved her even," Joe explained to him in all seriousness, "I know she loves you, even before we jumped in Normandy she had feelings for ya."

"Well….how could you tell?" Eugene asked, almost in defeat as I grinned against the pillow since I still wanted to listen in on what was going on.

"She always smiles when you're around her, and you two just…act like a married couple already. You make her happy, which has never happened with any other guy that she's been around, Doc. Plus, you're the first person she's ever felt safe enough around to be herself, you know?" Joe explained to him, having me think to myself again. Was it true, how I felt about Doc and how I loved him? He knew I loved him, and he loved me. But it was the fact that my brother was calling me out to Eugene and telling him how and why I loved him that made this both surreal and sweet. I was vulnerable to him at times, I do remember those moments and I wished that I had those again with him. Joe knew me far too well, I give him credit for that. So it was a good moment for me to fall asleep again within my own bed. I had two soldiers looking out for me, the man whom I grew up with and the man I fell in love with.

I went to sleep, no longer afraid.


	32. Chapter 32

I got out of the jeep, seeing that I was back in Langsburg and watching the German citizens come to and fro from the city to help with the clean up. After waking up some time later from being Joe and Eugene talk about my love life, I was informed by Spiers who came in to check up on me that they passed a new law: the citizens in the town that we were staying in were going to go to the concentration camp that we found the day before, anyone who was able to work as young as 14 and up to their eighties, and make them see what was happening close by along with helping with the clean up of bodies. It pained me to hear that, but it came from Nixon, which already silenced me from saying anything else. It was bad enough for half of the Company to see me having a massive seizure in my bed with blood on my face, but I was glad that they didn't bring it up.

I wondered if they would, but with the smiles they gave me in the morning after I showered and came out of the room with a clean uniform showed me that they were just glad I was okay. Joe didn't say anything, I could tell he too was trying to get over what we saw the day before and it was eating away at him too. There were bags under this eyes, something shifting within him that I could tell was going to rip him apart. Was it the fact that we found plenty of people in a camp that were on the verge of death, or was it just the fact that they were Jews? I didn't know, and that made it worse.

Eugene was already off to the hospital to help with the refugees there, but I was left a note on my own pillow and it made me smile to see his chicken scratch writing on a scrap piece of paper:

_My Chere,_

_I had to go to work at the hospital to help out with the flow. Joe reassured me that you needed rest and you would feel better, so I figured you needed good dreams to feel better. _

_I'll get chocolate for us when I get back. _

_I love you with all my heart._

_Eugene_

My hair was braided to the side, the bangs away from my eyes and my purple bandana once again around my neck to block the smell that was going to come over me. There was no sense of be trying to mourn about the deceased, not when there were other things that I had to do with the men in order to get this camp ready to be burned to the ground. I was there with Joe, Nixon and a couple of the other man including Spiers. Spiers was there last night when I had my massive seizure, and he too didn't say anything at first, not until we were walking over to the camp when he placed a hand on my arm to stop me from going further. I watched him with my eyes, no longer filled with tears or fears that I would break but once again determined to do my job.

"You gonna be alright, Liebgott?" He asked me in both his authoritative tone, but there was also some concern there. I could see that he was looking out for me if I was still not ready enough to go through something like this once again. I just gave him a short smile.

"I'll be okay, thank you sir." I replied back to him as we both started to walk over to the open gates, seeing citizens coming to and from the main road that lead to the town that we were at. They all looked grimaced, though the rest of the soldiers were looking pissed about the situation. I was angry too, and as we were walking over to the gates and back into the camp, I could see Joe standing by himself and looking at what was happened, with Nixon walking ahead with his five o clock shadow on his face and the look of pure determination on his face.

"You sure?" Spiers asked me once more, having me freeze in my walk with him as I saw my brother, rifle over his shoulder and his hands at his sides, looking at the camp in front of him now. I couldn't see his face since his back was to me, but I wondered and hope that it wasn't sad or pissed.

"I'm more worried about my brother than anything, sir." I said back to him without looking away from my brother. I could see Spiers looking at Joe as well, having me see that he too was a bit concerned about my brother and how he was dealing with the camps. So I moved away from Spiers now, walking over to my brother nice and slow without scaring him and standing next to him now as we were seeing the town people walking in disgust to the dead bodies. I looked over at him now, seeing nothing in his eyes, but hate and pain there since his lips were in a thin line and his stance was a bit rigid.

"You okay?" I asked him carefully, looking back in front of me and not taking his hand just yet. I kept it to my side now since it felt like it would be too much for him at the moment.

"I should be asking you the same question." Joe answered me in his low tone, having me just stay still at that moment. I saw some of the citizens who were walking by us were now giving us looked of pure disgust and hate, though both Joe and I were looking right back at them with no interest of smiles or cares on our faces.

"I'm more concerned about you," I explained to him, keeping my voice low as I could see him placed his hand on the butt of his rifle and hold onto it, "I can handle a seizure, but I don't think you can handle something like this."

"They don't understand," Joe said in his low tone, "They don't get it…what happened here."

"If they did, they would have stopped it." I reassured him, seeing him shake his head slowly.

"They would?" He asked me with no optimism in his voice. I knew where he was coming from then, not saying anything else to argue with him. One couple went past us, and they said under their breath as they looked at the both of us with deadpanned looks on our faces. They were in their early fifties from what I could see, already past the youthful age, but the wrinkles were evident there on their skin and upon their stance. They must have been from the upper class, since they looked disgusted at all they were seeing.

"_Wie können sie es wagon ins aufzuräumen, nach totem Juden_." (How dare they make us clean up, after dead Jews.) The male muttered to his wife in a low tone. He must of thought since we were Americans, that we didn't know German from the next guy. I saw see Joe was about yell at him in a fury since his veins in his neck were about to burst. But he wasn't going to do it, not this time. He took a step forward, having me grab his jacket and pulled him back as I spoke up for the both of us.

"_Wir sind bride Juden_." (We're both Jews.) I called out to the couple as their backs were to us, seeing them both freeze and then look back at the pair of us. I glared at the both of him, still Holding Joe back by his jacket sleeve and then fishing out my dog tags. The Star of David hung there in my hand as I dangled it in front of me, showing it with pride on my face. They both saw the pendant and they were frozen solid in their spots, caught in their act of not only speaking ill against my race, but having me hear since I too spoke German.

"_Thesen warren unsere Leute, die gestorben sind. Zeigen Sie etwas Respekt._" (These were our people that died. Show some respect.) I warned the both of them as they were still watching us. Joe said nothing the whole time, but I could tell he really wanted to yell at them because he too was on the edge of going into insanity. The couple then walked away slower than they did before, still in shell shock that two Jewish Americans told them to practically fuck off, but with kindness hinted there. I was no longer wanting to be kind, not right now. I already went through enough from seeing the corpses of my people around the camp like they were just trash, having me just want to find more sense in the world since it was already lost. As they walked away, I looked back to my brother, who himself looked like he was holding in the breath that he wanted to use in order to yell at him and act out his rage on.

"Never took you as someone who would bitch out at somebody." Joe commented though his voice was still low and not warm. I just sighed, grabbing the bandana to place it over my mouth since the smell was about to get me a headache.

"Someone has to be a bitch here, and it might as well be me," I said in a sarcastic tone, seeing a small glimmer of a grin that was there for one moment on his face before it was lost, "You should go to the hospital and see if they need help."

"I'll be fine here," Joe tried to reassure me, but I shook my head.

"Better for you to be over there than to be here and get in trouble," I warned him with carefulness back in my voice. He looked at me then, having me give him a hard stare. He knew where I was going: I as trying to protect him from his rage. He could either argue with me, to just let it happen and accept the fact that once again I was trying to protect him. But I waited, seeing him then breathe out the breath that he was holding. I gave him a reassuring smile, wrapping my fingers around his wrist that were still close to the gun he was grasping. He released the gun slowly then, making me feel a bit better.

"Go get a breather, I don't want you to see this anymore." I explained to him in more of a loving tone now, seeing him eye me as we were facing each other then.

"I could say the same for you. After what happened last time, this is the last place you should be." Joe warned me, but I shook my head.

"I still have a job to do, Joe. So I'm not going to roll over and play dead when I still have people needing my help," I told him back in my bold tone once more, seeing him scan my eyes. I had nothing to give him in order to have him snap back to the brother I had before we saw the camp. There was no glimmer back there, and it pained me to see it. Maybe the others were fooled, but not me. He reluctantly nodded his head.

"I'll be right behind you, I swear. I'm just as Nixon's disposal until we are done here." I promised him, seeing him look off to find Nixon with his own sight. Nixon was near one of the dump sights of the bodies, looking with the darkness in his own eyes. I could tell this was affecting him too, to the point of maybe lashing out of something was going to go his way.

"You got it, Sergeant." Joe mumbled to me, having me now look at him as he walked away before I could argue with him. He was long gone at that point, having me wish that I had a moment alone with my twin brother to get his mind straight again. I had to have time to talk to him, but now I had a job to do. So I looked back over to Nixon, throwing the bandana over my mouth and then taking in a deep breath.

Time to work.

* * *

><p>"Sergeant Liebgott, glad you're here." Spina said to me as I arrived in the next jeep with Nixon since we were all done with the camp at that point. Someone else took over since they figured Nixon needed a break himself, which was true. I was greeted by Spina at the front of the hospital, which was full top to bottom with the prisoners who were in need of intense care. I could hear the German doctors and nurses who were willing to help talk to each other as we went into the hospital. It was in full swing, at least three patients in each room and Medics moving to and from the area in a brisk pace.<p>

"Since when do you call me Sergeant, Spina? Trying to butter me up?" I asked him with a small smile on my lips from how he was acting with me. We were good friends, and yet he was talking to me like I was some kind of superior. He chuckled as we were walking down the hallway and weaving through all of the commotion that was going on.

"You are such a ball of laughs," Spina replied in a dried humorous tone, having me chuckle as we stopped in the middle of the hallway for me to look around in, "We're just about to wrap up on the first floor here, but the second floor is still needing some help with the second floor patients. They're too man of and not enough translators."

"Which is why I'm here. Where's my brother? I sent him here about a half hour ago." I explained to him now in my Sergeant mode as he rubbed the back of his neck out in tiredness.

"He's on the second floor. He's helping out with Doc up there as a translator." Spina explained to me, having me smile at him and clasped him on the shoulder.

"Thanks, Spina. I'll head up there and help out." I replied, seeing him nod his head at me as I started to walk away.

"Hey," He called out, having me look back at him and see him give me a somewhat worried look on his face, "You gonna be alright?" I was about to ask him what he meant, but I then realized that he was talking about what happened last night. I closed my mouth from being open to talking to him, just giving him a reassuring smile and nodding my head. He cared, like the rest of the men who were in my Company with me.

It made me love them all even more.

Going up to the second floor, I could hear more and more of the German nurses and medics talking tot he prisoners to help them get better, and I felt a bit of warmth coming back into my heart because of what was happening around me. There was no sense of pain going on there, just people helping people and getting them back on their feet. This was what it felt like to be a part of something was good and true: a part of humanity. This is what I was trying to find in this whole shitty situation of a war: how we would help one another for the sake of our own hearts.

I looked in a couple of the rooms, not seeing my brother at first, but then I stumbled upon a opened door that lead into a patient's room. I looked in, seeing a wonderful and painful sight at the same time: Eugene tending to a prisoner who was a child. The child, a little girl, had her head shaven and also looked like she was beyond skinny. But what I was seeing, how Eugene was taking care of her, it was beyond beautiful. He was cradling her head in his fingers, looking at her face with his Combat Medic face on at the ready as she was sitting on the examination bed and another German nurse there translating for him. There as a bandage already on her arm, wrapped up and looking perfect there against her skin. That was Eugene's handy work.

The girl looked like she was at least 8 years old, with the most beautiful blue eyes that I have ever seen. They were nice and big to show her colorful irises compared to the rest of the color on her body. Someone got her a small enough hospital gown to wear as she was sitting in front of Eugene, having me see him examine her and how she was enraptured with him. Hell, I would be too since I was in love with the guy.

"May I help you with something?" The nurse that was there asked in a German accent, having me realize that she was watching me from the doorway as I was watching both the little girl and Eugene. Eugene looked over, seeing me and a big smile on his face. The little girl looked as well, her eyes right on me as Eugene moved away from the girl to face me completely.

"Hey," He said in a breathy tone, happy to see me apparently, "Come on in." I walked in carefully, thinking that I was intruding in something that was supposed to be professional and serious. But the way he was smiling at me, it didn't matter. He walked over to me grabbing my hand softly in his own and having me really wish we were alone in a room.

"I didn't mean to intrude." I said to him in a low tone, though I could see the girl was still sitting on the table and watching with intriguing eyes, not moving but having some interest in her face as to who I was.

"No, it's fine. I'm just glad you're okay." Eugene replied in a light tone, grabbing my hand and gently leading me over to the little girl. Just holding his hand again made me feel so much better since I had my seizure the night before in my bed. I knew needed to talk to Eugene about what happened and how he talked to my brother about me, but I was thinking that at that moment, he just wanted to be with me.

"This is Viola," Eugene introduced me to the little girl, in which I smiled widely at her and I saw her grin at me. I waved at her, seeing her giggle and wave back within an instant. She didn't say anything at all but just grinned at me as Eugene kept talking to me, "She's got a nasty cut on her arm that almost got infected."

"_Kann icy sheen?_" (Can I see?) I asked her politely, seeing her hold out her hand for me to examine myself. She was so still, watching me with her own beautiful eyes as I then smiled widely at her, pointing to Eugene.

"_Ist er nett?_" (Is he being nice?) I asked her in a mischievous grin. Her teeth were showing with her grin as she nodded her head.

"_Er ist gut aussehend auch!" _(He's handsome too!) I grinned as she told me this, then hearing the German nurse chuckling as she was working on the paperwork and Eugene now looking at the both of us with fascination and confusion on his face. He didn't know what she said, but who was I to spoil it for him.

"_Genau_." (I agree.) I whispered to her, seeing her giggle loudly now as I then looked over at Eugene, who was still confused as to what was going on with the two of us. It was a perk of knowing German and Eugene didn't, holding a secret from him even if it meant it was with a child.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" I asked him, seeing him smile once again at me as he nodded his head. He was about to talk to the nurse, but she beat us to it.

"I can watch her and call for you if something does happen." She reassured us, having me nod my head at her to show her hands as I then grabbed Eugene's hand again.

"Come on." I urged him, the both of us walking out of the room and back into the hallway. I had the sudden rush come over me, thinking that we were teenagers that were trying to hide the fact that we wanted to be alone together. I missed his company far too much, and it was getting both ridiculous and thrilling at the same time.

"Let's go over here, there's a room down here." Eugene explained to me since he could tell I didn't know where to go. He was leading me down the hallway, still holding my hand like he was on a mission to get somewhere important. Did he know what I wanted to talk about? Did he even want to talk to me? I was about to ask him where we were going when we turned the corner and the hall was, in fact, deserted. No one was in that area of the hospital, and it was so silent compared to where everyone else. We walked there for a couple more steps before Eugene whirled around and pulled me into his arms, having me freeze in his hold on me. It was a loving hold, and almost a desperate one since we haven't seen each other since the night before when I was having a seizure in his arms.

"Hey, hey I'm okay Eugene." I reassured him in a gasp as he was almost making me lose air from my lungs from how tight he was holding me.

"I know, But I'm just glad that I saw you today." Eugene said to me in a rushed tone, having me smile into his shoulder as I was hugging him back gently. He was concerned about me the whole day, I could tell how he was holding me and how he wanted to hold me in a deserted place that was not seeing by curious eyes and soldiers. Once he pulled away, I just grinned at him, already glad to see his face throughout this day since it was pretty stressful on my end.

"Thanks for the note by the way, how romantic of you," I teased him, seeing him grin from ear to ear as we were still holding each other closely in the hallway, "I'm supposed to be the romantic one in the relationship."

"Oh, be nice." Eugene argued with me though there was a hint of playfulness in there. everything inside of me was getting warm again, feeling his hold around my waist and how he was staring at me.

"I'm serious, I was glad to see your note when I woke up….although it wasn't you there." I explained to him in a sincere tone.

"You needed space, and plus I had to go work," Eugene explained to me, having me bit my lip and then look down for a moment. I wanted to tell him all that I was feeling about going through the seizure in front of him, and now I heard him talk to my brother.

"What's wrong?" Eugene asked me, looking a bit concerned now since I wasn't saying anything. I just smiled again, shaking my head and not wanting to ruin the moment.

"I just…I'm sorry that I scared you like that last night," I said to him in a lower tone, since it felt so out of place for us to be cheery when I wanted to talk to him about that, "I didn't mean to put you through that and have you see what you did."

"No, Jemima it's okay," Eugene reassured me, giving me another hug before I could argue with him. He rang his fingers in my hair to hold me there, "I'm just glad that I was there. It would have been worse if you were alone."

"Yeah, I know," I whispered into his jacket and shoulder, smiling there and feeling glad that he was understanding about it and not being concerned all over again in the bad way, "And I heard you and Joe talking last night too." Eugene froze in my embrace, pulled away to look at me now with wide eyes. It was like I catch him in a bad act of some kind. Though I looked fine with it, he looked like he was about to pass out.

"You heard us?" He asked me was a gasp of his mouth. I nodded my head slowly, seeing him breathe out and still look like he was slapped across the face.

"Eugene," I said to him in a careful whisper, placing my fingers on his jaw to have him look at me again, "I didn't mind. It's fine." He closed his mouth now, having me grin at him as he swallowed something before speaking. I could feel his hold on my tighten and he drew me closer to him, my arms going around his neck because they had nowhere to go.

"You sure? I mean, it's your brother and all, and he's already a hard ass to reason with from time to time, and —" I cut him off once again with a kiss on his lips. He breathed in deeply, both of our eyes slamming closed after our lips connected and I brought the both of us against the wall as we kissed there. I needed this: kissing Eugene and forgetting all the shit that is going on around us. He made it seem so gentle, how he kissed me against the hospital wall and holding me within his arms to close that I arched into him, kissing him back deeply. For some reason, I wanted at least one minute or two to just forget all that happened these past few days and just…be with him Eugene. That's all I wanted, and I got it ten fold when his tongue touched my own. That ignited another burst of lust for some reason in my belly, having me almost moan but hold it down. He gasped as we kissed, then pulled away and having me open my eyes to see how big his own eyes were.

"_Christ tout-puissant_." (Christ almighty.) he said aloud, his voice was almost staggering but bold enough.

"What?" I asked him, clearing thinking that I did something wrong this time. It was like we were back in France again, kissing on the cot and then me saying something that seemed like it was wrong. Now the roles were switched, and Eugene just shook his head, his red lips were grinning once again.

"I've never been kissed like that before." He confessed to me, having me smile widely at him and blush a scarlet red.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, thinking that it was rude and uncalled for. But he just grinned at me some more, showing no remorse.

"No, it's fine. I…I liked it." He admitted to me in almost a sheepish manner. I was about to answer him when we heard someone down the hall where we came from mere moments before calling out for a name.

"Anyone seen Roe? Doc Roe?" I looked back at Eugene, seeing him mutter to himself since I doubted he really wanted to leave me and got back to work. I just smiled, leaning in to kiss him on more time. He pulled me tighter to him, as if he wanted this to last for awhile and then I smiled into the kiss.

"Go back to work, or you'll be screwed." I said against his lips, hearing him chuckle as he left me one more kiss there to make me feel butterflies and go breathless. I pulled away from him and started walking away, back through the crowded hallway with a small smile on my lips. It was like I was holding a secret upon my red lips, and I looked back once more. Eugene was walking as well, fifty feet away from me and looking serious once more.

But we locked eyes, smiling at each other and I felt as though I could conquer anything now.

* * *

><p>That night back at our apartments, we were told we were going to move out again the next morning and leave the town since we did as much as we could do. The camp was then torn down to pieces, and we were getting word that there were more camps all around Europe. Nixon got the word from Headquarters, since more and more were being discovered and were being liberated. It left a bitter taste in my mouth as I walked over to my own brother's apartment. Since we left the camp earlier that day, Joe hasn't been the same. So it was rightfully so that I would go and check up on him. Though, when I opened the door, all I could see in front of me broke my own heart.<p>

Joe was sitting on the couch, alone and was holding a glass of alcohol in his hand. He was staring off into space, and I felt like he was being haunted over and over in his mind with what happened in the camps and how it was affecting him. So I closed the door, walked over to him slowly and sat down next to him on the couch, not saying a word at first but just letting him know silently that I was there with him and he could be trusted with me alone. It felt like ages before he spoke up, since we both were looking at the fireplace and drinking in all that happened within the last 48 hours in that one town.

"When do you think it'll end?" Joe asked out of the blue, having me not say anything for a moment just to figure out what he was talking about.

"What?" I asked him them, tilted my head over to him slightly to show that I was listening.

"This….pain." Joe mumbled out, saying the work "pain" like he too was being stabbed in the chest. I bit my lower lip, seeing that he was talking about the pain he was feeling after seeing the camps and seeing our people dying in front of him.

"I don't know, Joe. But it will." I reminded him, seeing him shake his head slightly before he took a drink from his glass in his head.

"How would you know?" He asked me in a bitter tone.

"Because it's your heart breaking," I reminded him, seeing him lower his glass back to his lap with silence on his lips, "You remember all those times you were broken hearted from a girl whom dumped you? Or when grandma died when we were fifteen? It's like that: something that seemed so good in front of you slipping away and you can't save it. But it'll heal, you need it give it time and it will heal." Joe sighed and slipped his head onto my shoulder in almost a fashion of defeat. I leaned into him then, almost snuggling into his warmth now as we sat together on the couch and looked at the dead fireplace. I wanted to take the heartbreak he was feeling away. It pained me that I had someone like Eugene that was willing to hold me close at night and kiss away the pain that I was getting in my chest, and Joe didn't have someone like that when he needed it the most.

"Come on, I'll make a fire and we can just…sit here and relax. Okay?" I asked him softly against his brown hair, hearing him mumble as I got up then. He sat back up completely when I took the glass from his hands, dumping it in the fireplace so that he wouldn't wallow in his self-pity anymore. I didn't want that from him, not with alcohol. I was about to move away from him when he talked again, this time in almost some agitation.

"You're taking this fairly well…with the whole camp thing and all." He said in almost a statement. I was about to yell at him, but he didn't need that. Not right now. I just shrugged as I got the fireplace ready, assembling the few logs that were already in there and seeing some scrap pieces of paper around the floor and wooden pieces from the destruction.

"Well, I did have a major seizure from the overload of emotions from seeing the dead bodies of my race, so it's safe to say that I think I have you beat with your alcohol." I joked with him, looking over my shoulder at him and seeing him give me a small smile. Neither one of us was in the mood to fight or argue, but I could tell it was still eating away from him on how I was holding myself together so nicely compared to him.

"But how are you doin' it?" Joe asked me how with interest as I walked over to him, reaching into his jacket front pocket without him moving but watching me with his eyes. I grabbed the matchbox that was there that I knew he had from all his smoking and I lit a match on fire, holding it in front of me and seeing how small of a light it was giving.

"I just decided not to let it consume me," I explained to him softly, looking at the flame myself as I breathed out slowly and turned away from him to throw it in the fireplace, "I got remind myself that we did something that was good, that we did in fact save lives there."

"That's harder than it sounds." Joe grumbled as the fireplace roared to life with the fire, having the room slowly feeling warmer and the room was getting brighter from the fire itself. I walked back over to Joe, sitting next to him again and lacing our fingers together.

"Joe, we saved at least a hundred of those men in that camp, and another two hundred in the women's camp, including kids. What would have happened to those people if we didn't find the camp from our patrol? This was good, what happened to us, as bad as it sounds," I explained to him calmly, trying to think about it myself, "No matter how much it hurts to thinks about those who lost their lives in those places…those death traps…we did save others from being lost."

After saying this, I had to rethink it to make sure that what I told him was honest enough for him to hear. We did save enough lives to make me feel better about the situation since they all could have died if we didn't stumble across the camp on another patrol. Joe watched me intently as I said this, though I could tell this was still hurting him. So we that were for a moment or two, just holding each other's hands and looked at the fire in front of me. It was sinking into us what we did, how we saved those lives in there and how we had to look at this in a positive way, not in a negative way.

"Oh, I forgot." Joe said out of the blue, reaching into his pants pocket. I looked over to see him do this, having me watch as he pulled out an envelope.

"We got a letter from ma, want me to read it?" He asked me in a softer tone now, no longer bitter as it was before. I nodded my head as I rested my head against his shoulder as he opened it up to read aloud. We had our moment in the room together as he read the letter out loud for only us to hear.

" '_Dear Joseph,_

_I'm glad to hear and you and your sister are doing all you can in the war, your father and I couldn't be more proud of the both of you. We are getting some rain here now since its springtime again in the city, and have had neighbors come by to ask how you two are. We got your letter the other day….' "_

Joe read on with the letter as we just sat there into the night, no longer wanting to care about the rest of the world and what was out there to harm us. We had each other again, brother and sister, and it seemed like that was all that mattered to the both of us.

I was glad I had my brother back.

* * *

><p><strong>April 11th, 1945<strong>

**Thalem, Germany**

I sat with the rest of the men on top of a second floor opening of a torn building, seeing the rest of the courtyard below us in ruins and the people there trying to get it back to normal But there were bricks, all over the place along with smoke and chaos. The people moved slowly as I stood behind my brother, hands on his shoulder and holding them there as we were watching the scene in front of us, not saying a word or two. I could hear the soft music being played in the middle of the square, a group of locals got together with their string instruments and started to play something haunting in the air as the rest of the courtyard was being cleaned up. But we didn't do anything, said nothing, and we just…sat there.

"I'll tell you one thing about the Krauts. They sure clean up good." Luz commented from being near the front as I leaned against the wall, watching him with my eyes and saying nothing.

"Yeah, all you need's a bit of Mozart." Joe added to the remark though I heard someone coming up from behind us and having me look over my shoulder.

"Beethoven." It was Nixon, walking over to stand next to me with the same hard look on his face that's he's been carrying for about a month now.

"Sorry, sir?" Joe asked him, not getting what he was saying.

"That's not Mozart. That's Beethoven." Nixon explained, all of us looking back at the four musicians playing in the middle of the square again. It sounded so sad, something that was pulling at my heartstrings over and over again as they were going on with the song. Was this their way of going through the mourning of what happened in their town, instead of using their words they used their hands with the music? It pained me to hear it, almost making me remember the past month and what hell it was.

"Hitler's dead." Nixon said out loud after a moment or two of silence. We all shot our heads at him now, shocked in the news.

"Holy shit." Joe said underneath me from his spot. I squeezed his shoulders to silently agree with him.

"Shot himself in Berlin." Nixon explained some more, having me look down from drinking it all in.

"Is the war over, sir?" Bull asked him, though he kept his cool stance with his rifle in hand. I looked over at him too, wondering if this meant that we could go home soon. But I saw the look on Nixon's face and it wasn't going to be a good answer.

"No. We have an order to Berchtesgaden. We're gonna move out in one hour." He said to all of us, having me see the rest of the boys getup slowly and get ready for our next destination. I hated this, I really wanted this war to be over and done with, but I was still reluctant to go with the group wherever they went.

"Why? The man's not home. Should've killed himself three years ago, saved us a lot of trouble." Webster said in almost a grumble as they all filed out to the door that was near us. I followed suit, rearranging the satchel on my shoulder and then looking back at the square one last time. It was still sad to see, even with all that happened. We needed a breather, a huge one.

"Yeah, he should've. But he didn't."

Why didn't he?


	33. Chapter 33

**May 2nd, 1945**

**Bavaria**

"Holy shit it's hot." I squinted from my spot from the blazing sun that was coming down over the whole group of Easy Company as we were waiting orders to go into Berchtesgaden and taking over the area. At this point in the war, I just went along with the motions, going to and from place to place. It almost felt like some kind of vacation we were on at this point: there was no telling when we were going to be officially done since we will still trekking through Europe with Hitler being long gone. I just learned to go with the flow, still helping out when I could, but it was now ending up being a sitting duck kind of method now as we went into May.

"You keep saying' it is not gonna make it cooler Perconte." Buck commented in almost a low grumble as we were all sitting out against one of the stone ledges of an abandoned town that we were making a pit stop at. There was another Company there and we were meeting up for directions, that and to exchange information that we might need. Some of the others in our Company were off with Spiers on a patrol of the town, including my brother and Eugene since he had nothing else to do with his own spare time. He reassured me that he would be fine without me with him, though I could tell there was a gentle hint that he was going to look for something in the city for me….a real gentle hint since he was tiptoeing around me asking him what he was trying to find.

I was sitting against the stone wall next to Webster and Shifty, having me grimace a bit as the sun was not right on my face. It was hot, too damn hot for me to get used to. I thought I hated the cold when I was in Bastogne and Foye, but this was another kind of torture.

Torture of heat.

"We need to find a river, or a dam some kind of fucking water to cool off." Perconte went on with his rambling, having me wish that I was close enough to him to shove him and shut him up.

"I am this close to shooting you point blank if you keep bitchin'." Grant warned him, having me chuckle from my spot against the wall. I looked down to the left, down the dirt road and seeing nothing from the farmhouse that our captains were meeting in. Great, just great. I sighed out deeply, no longer wanting to stand still and just keep my legs moving. So I hopped up from the wall where the rest of the men were perched, cracking my neck and just pacing back and forth up and down the dirt road in front of the guys.

"Jem, you okay there?" Bull asked me as he was sitting next to Luz, cigar in his mouth and his own forehead sweating bullets.

"Just can't sit still." I replied back to him, walking slowly but still not wanting to sit there and not do a damn thing.

"Well, we already knew that," Luz commented to me in a light tone, hearing the other guys chuckle in agreement, "And may I just say, I like seeing you all worked up like this."

"Shut it Luz," I said in a low tone since the heat was, in fact, making me a bit sore now.

"Oh, come on, way to act like a total guy." Luz joked with me, having me glare at him and flip him off. He smirked at me though I knew he meant well I was still pissed that we were still standing still and not moving. It was worse since I was still wearing my jacket on me, the stiffness in the uniform jacket was making me feel like I was suffocating. So, without really thinking about it, I threw off my jacket and placed it on the floor next to my feet. It left me standing there in my white shirt, pants with my belt on, my boots and my satchel back on over my shoulder since it felt familiar to me. I pulled my hair into a low bun to hop in one hand, away from my neck so I can have it breathe. Sighing in relief, I forgot that I stripped off my jacket in front of the others in Easy, which is why I heard nothing for a moment or two from behind me.

Slowly I opened my eyes again, looking behind me and seeing the men all look right at me with both looks of intrigue and a hint of confusion on their faces. I watched him back, not thinking of anything about it as I was still holding my hair up and standing in front of him, almost like I was supposed to give them some kind of performance now in how they were watching me.

"Oh for Christ's sake, get over it. This is all ya'll are going to see anytime soon anyways." I said to all of them with agitation in my voice, instantly seeing them all breaking out in grins at me now since I was clearly back to my old cocky self. I smirked at them too, not feeling ashamed that I partially stripped in front of them for the sake of not dying from a heart stroke. However, after a moment or two of the laughter with the men, I heard a wolf whistle from down the road, near the edge of the town and I looked. Peering with my eyes, I saw two men looking right at me, with big grins on their faces and they were looking at me up and down. They were my age, maybe a bit younger now, but they were looking right at me.

I knew that look, I saw it on men constantly back at home when they were looking at other women and seeing them as some kind of prize. There was a spark behind their longing gazes, like a fire igniting itself and it was not going to fade because of the lust evident there. So this was the first time ever that someone, let alone two men, were giving me the same look of lust on their faces, like I was an object. Who knew I would ever get this look, and I would be getting it in a foreign country at the end of a war. They didn't a soldier when they were looking at me: they saw meat that they can get their hands on if they were lucky.

Man were they wrong.

I looked right back at the both of them, glaring at the both of them now with the sheer wonder as to why they were giving me that look. But it was when they spoke up, as if it was some kind of game, that made me both sick and furious.

"_Hallo gibt schöne!_" (Hello there beautiful!) One of them called out to me, having the rest of Easy looking over at them now in confusion as to what was going on. I made a fist at my side now, seeing that they thought I was had no thought as to what they are saying, They were teasing me, right in front of myself and the men, and they thought they were getting away with it.

"What are they sayin', Jem?" Shifty asked me in wonder, though my eyes were still on the two men who were now laughing with each other, one of them licking his lips which in return was making me more furious.

"You don't wanna know." Webster said in a warning tone since he too knew what they said and I think he caught on with what they were trying to do.

"_Brauchen Sie jemanden, der Sie abkühlen?_" (Need someone to cool you down?) The other one howled over at me, then snickering with his friend. That mad me more heated, but I then heard Webster shooting up from his spot against the stone wall and then about to tell them off. I looked behind me at Webster, seeing the hate in his eyes along with the hate of the heat.

"Those motherfuckers!" Webster sneered in a low growl, about to scream at them when I grabbed his jacket to hold him back. Some of the other men shot up to stop him as I saw Webster look down at me from hating on the men.

"Web, it's okay. I can handle this." I reassured him in a grumble since I too was furious at the men harassing me and them not knowing that I knew. I saw him take out a low breath, having me look back at the two men now and having my own hair fall down again to frame my face.

"_Was für eine Schönheit! Ich kann dich so gut, wenn Sie beret sind such fühlen!I" _(What a beauty! I can make you feel so good if you're willing!) The first one said aloud once more as I just held my ground one more time, though I could tell Webster was about to reach his own limit with these two local men.

"I'm not liking these guys, not one bit." I heard Bull said in a low tone, yet he had no idea what they were saying and that they were basically harassing me. But I bit my lip long enough. I didn't know whether it was the heat and how I hated that we were basically waiting for something to happen in the war, or that I went through far too much for someone to walk over me, but I just snapped at the both of them. Moral Compass be damned.

"_Sie haben keine Chance, mit jemandem wie mir!_" (You have no chance with someone like me!) The boys stopped laughing now, since I clearly caught then in their game and they were no looking petered as I took another set towards them, pointing at the two of them now with hate still on my face, hate and domination.

"_Warum gehst du niche versuchen ind küss much? Oder sind Sie zo veil Angst wie Fotzen?_" (Why don't you try and kiss me? Or are you too scared as pussies?) I asked them both in a challenging tone. I saw them still say nothing, watching me now no more long humor on their faces but with intimation. I glared at the both of them, feeling pretty mighty in my stance now since they thought I was easily fooled as a woman. But I think being in this war, I viewed myself as being more than just a woman, I was a goddamn warrior.

"They were harassing Jem." Webster said aloud in a low tone, having me feel as though his hate was soaking into me. I could hear the rest of the men who were sitting on the wall getting up now, standing behind me now and I wish I could look back at see what they were doing. But I didn't not at first. I saw the two local boys taking a hesitant step back now, having me wonder what they were seeing and how they were now looking like cowards instead of cocky men. So I then looked behind me, having me loose my breath from what I was seeing.

My men, my Easy Company brothers, standing behind me shoulder to shoulder and looking at the two mere boys with death glares. Babe, Shifty, Bull, Johnny Martin, Garcia, O'Keefe, Buck, Luz, Grant, Webster, Sisk, Perconte, and the others were watching with intense eyes and crossed arms. They were my brothers, protecting their sister from harassment though I could hold my own. It made me love them love them all even more since they were all going to do this for me. They were affected by what was happening to me, no one else. It made me look back at the two boys, who were now sweating bullets. They only had the two of them together: I had an army behind me.

"_Ich habe keine Angst vor Ihnen . Sie sind im Vergleich zu den Männern hinter mir nur Kinder_." (I'm not afraid of you. You're just children compared to the men behind me.) I said back to them with a bite in my tone. They both then looked at each other, as if to see if they were really going to go on with the whole antic that they were trying to do with me. I waited, hoping that they would say something stupid back to me or at least make some kind of move, but they did nothing.

"_Hüdin!" _(Bitch!) One of them yelled, his only line of defense was to call me a bitch and all I could do was smile as he and his friend turned their backs to us and walked away, slumping their shoulders in defeat. I flipped them off with both fingers, though it made me feel less of a female and more of one of the guys who had someone insult them.

"_Das Schwein!" _(Swine!) Webster yelled back at them in a booming tone, having me look back at him and see the men all look at me now to see if I was okay. But I was beyond okay, more than okay with how it was handled. I grinned at all of them, seeing their faces smile back at me and showing me that they had my back.

"I had it all under control." I merely replied to them in almost a breathy fashion, since the moment has come and gone now for me to be angry. I was back to being cocky again, and the men all then bursted into laughter. And for some ungodly reason, I smiled and laughed too. It was all pure nonsense, all of us with death glares for one minute and the next we were laughing like people who were on medication: with craziness and on the borderline of instanity. It didn't make sense, but we didn't care. We were beyond done with the war to be concerned with how we were looking.

"Hell yeah, you did. You're a Liebgott for sure." Martin said in a grin that he would only sport every once in awhile.

"Guarnene would have shitted his paints if he was here." Garcia said in a snort.

"Oh God, the infamous Gonorrhea himself." Luz laughed out with his head thrown back, adding to the insult even more as we were laughing again.

"Move out! We're moving out!" We all looked to see Spiers and the rest of the officers walking over to our direction. The group of us sighed, rearranging ourselves now as I reached down to get my jacket from the floor and throw it back on.

"Hey, Jem," I looked up, seeing Webster watch me now as I got one arm into the jacket sleeve and about to do the same with the other arm, "You sure you're okay?" I just grinned at him, since I could tell he was still a bit pissed about how I was being treated by the locals. I got my jacket on, clasping Webster on the shoulder and nodded my head to show that it meant no harm.

"I was fine, really. Besides, it didn't hurt that you were to back me up with that nice insult." I reminded him, seeing his cheeks so scarlet. I just giggled and heading back to the truck, already feeling better about the heat and not longer needing to feel like I had to hold back.

"And I don't think any of us are going to tell the others what happened," Webster reassured me under his breath as we were getting closer to the trucks and seeing the men pile on in the back.

"You better not. Or I'll whip all of your asses." I warned him, seeing him smirk once again while he was readjusting the shoulder strap from his rifle.

* * *

><p><strong>May 9th 1945<strong>

**Outside ****Berchtesgaden**

I closed the book that I was reading to myself, though I was sitting against one of the big truck tires while we are waiting for for men to come and clear the highway for us to get through. The rest of the men were standing around, waiting for us to actually do something since we were stuck there. It was another hot day, but I was trying to keep my own mind occupied with another book Webster and I found in the last town we were at before we got the orders to hightail it up to the deserted Nazi town.

I was sitting next to Webster on the road, against the chained railings that was keeping us from falling along the mountainside. He was writing in his journal and I was trying to read, though it came to a abrupt halt when two of our men had a launcher aimed at the blocked rubble and rock that was in the middle of the road, a German tactic to keep us out.

"You finished with the book already?" Webster asked me in interest as I watched him write on in his journal.

"Pretty much, it's not a bad read," I explained to him, seeing him close his own journal.

"Remind me to get you something more challenging." Webster said back in his lighter tone, though I smirked from his antics as I got the book back in my satchel. I then heard footsteps coming up to the both of us, having me look to see that it was Eugene. I was about to smile at him, but it didn't come on my face since the look he was giving me was not pleasant. He looked angry, real angry. Eugene was never one to be angry unless it involved someone getting hurt or his authority as our main Medic being questioned. So now I was confused, and a bit scared to see him mad at me, of all people in our Company.

"Can we talk for a second, now?" He asked in a low tone, having me see a hesitant stare from Webster before I slowly got up from my spot, clutching my satchel to make sure that this was no nightmare.

"Sure….what's going on?" I asked with a smile on my face to feel a bit better about the situation. But he wasn't smiling, nor was he going to as he walked away from me. It was a silent order to follow, and I could tell in how he walked that whatever he wanted to talk about, was eating him up from the inside out. We walked on away from the others in our Company, and as we walked I passed by Joe and I saw him look at the both of us now with interest as he was propped against the tire of one of our trucks. I could tell he too was confused as to what was going on, which made it even worse when we were far enough away I saw Eugene whirl around and glare at me.

"When were ya going to tell me about what happened with those two local guys a week ago?" Eugene asked with his voice low and threatening, having me look at him with confusion written all over my face and my own stance was going rigid.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him carefully.

"You know what, Jemima. Those two guys…giving you hassle in that town at we stopped in." He explained to me in a more heated tone. I thought about it for a moment, then remembering the incident out in the street and how I turned into a bitch in front of him. Another explosion went off as they are still trying to clear the highway, but the bigger explosion was happening in front of me with Eugene now.

"How did…how did you know about that?" I asked him now in suspicion.

"Doesn't matter how I know." Eugene answered back, not losing his own ground.

"Like hell it doesn't." I said back to him with my own anger coming up.

"Look, that's not the point. They threatened you, and you weren't gonna tell me. Why not?" Eugene shook off my own thoughts on the matter and was back on the fact that I kept this from him. I just scoffed a bit, thinking that it was a bit silly.

"It was nothing, Eugene. They were just being idiots towards me—" I started, trying to contain myself in front of him since this was Eugene, my Eugene of all people that I would not want to yell at. But he cut me off once again.

"No they weren't, they were harassing you!" Eugene said back with a bite in his tongue.

"So what? It wasn't the first time this happened to me in the first place anywho." I argued with him. Now it felt like I had to defend myself now in front of someone whom I gave my heart to.

"It's still the fact that you weren't going to tell me any of it that is so frustrating!" Eugene hissed back at me, taking steps towards me though I planted my feet on the ground, not backing away from him now. He may be a tamed one compared to the others in Easy, but he too knew how to show anger and use it in his voice and on his face.

"What were you going to do to them anyhow? Eugene, you couldn't have done jack shit to them!" I explained to him with my own tone threatening to rise now.

"It's still the goddamn principle of the whole thing, Jemima. I care about you too damn much to let some creeps walk all over you like you're a fucking doormat!" Eugene yelled at me thing, though his voices only ringing between us now and the others weren't able to hear. However, I briefly looked over, seeing some of them look at us in interest. What a sight, their two medics having a fight with each other and it looked like a couple on the verge of a breakup. One last explosion went off and we could hear the men cheering that we got through to go onto the other side of the rubble, though I was still occupied with Eugene.

"Eugene, I don't want someone to be lookin' out for me constantly all the time. It's driving me completely insane! I already have half of the Goddamn Company breathing down my back because I'm the female, my own brother won't let me do something about checking and making sure…you know, that I don't fuckin' spaz out and die!" I spat at him, almost shaking from the hate that I was feeling and I could see him still staring at me with the anger there. Even when I mentioned my own seizures and how I could spaz and die, I saw Eugene flinch in what looked like either shock to hurt.

"And now I have my boyfriend freaking out because two guys are tryin' to make a move on me? Are you kidding me? You know, I was used to getting all of the protection vibes from the rest of them, but I don't need it from you right now." I explained in a bolder tone then, controlling my anger that I really wished I used. I saw Eugene making fists at his sides, and I could tell I just stepped over the edge with him.

"Why are you always so….frustrating?!" He asked me in a heated manner, "You're too damn prideful to even get a hint that I wanna be able to protect ya, whether you like it or not!"

"And you don't think I can handle anything thrown at me?" I asked him in a warning tone, seeing him sighed in frustration as I went on, "What the fuck have I been doing for the past three years?"

"That's not what I'm saying, Jemima." Eugene countered back, his voice was a bit softer now as if he was almost on the verge of defeat. But I shook my head, not wanting to listen anymore. Something about this whole thing of being called out as stubborn and a frustration, and hearing it from someone whom I thought would like me where I was and how I acted. It hurt, hearing it from him of all people. It was like he was cutting into me and making me see the worst parts of myself that I threatened to keep bottled up.

"No it is, and I'm sick of being looked after so many Goddamn times for me to count. Quit tryin' to save me, for once." I sneered back at him, walking away at this point and not wanting to look at him. I was so angry with the fact that he called me out for being untruthful, for hiding something from him and telling him a single word. It wasn't that big of a deal, not to me. I thought it was something that I could handle on my own, and it made me really wish that he was not going to act like how my brother would act.

"Let's go, get back in the trucks and we're rolling out!" Someone called out as I was then passing my brother once again. But this time he hopped up from the tire and walked in time with me, clearly seeing the hurt on my face and I just glared in front of me, not giving him the satisfaction that would make it better.

"What just happened, Jemmie?" He asked me in a low tone, concerned clearly but not enough for me.

"_Beginnen Sie nicht." _(Don't start). I growled at him as I passed him and hopped onto the truck that was closest to me. I sat there, stewing in my own anger as I heard my brother mutter "Jesus" under his breath before going to his own truck and leaving me in peace. I had nothing else to do nor say to make it all feel better. And it felt like all of the frustrations and pain that I went through this war came to a solid head and blew up in my face on how I talked to Eugene. It both made me sick and wanting to hate myself at the same time.

What did I just do?

* * *

><p>I found myself sitting on top of a fence in the deserted town of Berchtesgaden, stewing once again in my own hate for myself and the fight that I had with Eugene. After we got into town, seeing how deserted it was with white flags hanging out of the sides of the buildings to so surrender, I would think to feel good about the situation and how we weren't going to have any battles. But then again, I was still hating the situation. Since I was on the truck, I steered clear<p>

So I decided to isolate myself from the rest of the boys when the officers were going send into finding some information in one of the main buildings. We were now waiting to see what was going to come next, whether we were going to take the Eagle's Nest or not. Why I was still feeling the was beyond me, it didn't feel right at all.

It was Eugene, of all the people in Easy Company, that I had to have a fight with and now feel like a idiot and a fool for doing so. I knew that my anger was going to get the best of me one of these days, and it happened to be on Eugene. There was a fragment of myself that was still angry with him and how he was trying to hard to be my protector once again. I didn't need protection, and I really didn't need it at this point in the war. But then again, the other segment that was inside of me was feeling so bad that I yelled at him and pushed him farther away from me than I should have. Why did I have to do that to him? Why did I have to snap at him and now feel like the worst girlfriend on the planet?

"Heya Jem." I heard Babe to my left, having me look over at him as he walked over with his hands in his jacket pocket and a cigarette in his mouth that was not lit. I nodded my head at him, seeing him hop on the top of the fence and then fishing out his own lighter to get his own cigarette going.

"You sittin' out here too?" I asked him in a low tone, seeing him inhale the stick and then blowing out the smoke through his mouth.

"They don't need all of us in there anyways, and some of the others are scouting out places for us to stay," Babe explained to me as he then eyed me with a raised eyebrow. I looked back at him too, seeing how the red in his hair was highlighted from the sun and how he was looking golden, more than before, "Plus you look like you need a smoke anyways since we left the highway." He then fished out his cigarette carton and held it between us. I then grabbed the stick that was available, placing it between my lips as Babe took the carton away.

"What gave it away?" I asked him as he handed me the lighter. I ignited the flame, getting the stick lit as Babe talked again.

"Your face…and the fact that I saw you sulking in the jeep after you talked to Doc." Babe explained cooly as I inhaled. I hated smoking, and it showed on my face as he grinned when I exhaled the smoke roughly through my lips, "Not a smoker?"

"Not really." I replied roughly back to him, looking ahead at me now and trying to contain myself from still being angry.

"Why not?" Babe asked me casually then.

"Being a nurse comes with plenty of books that show what cigarettes are doin' to the lungs." I explained to him as I inhaled another round of smoke, though it exited through my nose. Babe smirked then, seeing the humor that was there within the moment.

"So, you gonna tell me why you're acting like its the end of the world out here on this damn fence when you should be finding your new living space." Babe explained to me softly as I took another drag, not wanting to have this conversation with him at the moment but there was never to go be the right time to talk about it, not really. I sighed, shifting on the fence and feeling the free strands of my hair flowing in the wind.

"You probably know why, since half of the Company saw Eugene and I fight." I explained to him in a lower tone, not even proud of what happened and how I was feeling about it. Babe nodded his head as he continued to smoke next to me.

"Yeah, saw Doc torn up a bit when we got here. He hasn't left his room since." Babe informed me, having me squint in pain and have the sudden feeling of guilt come over me like a freight train. It was all so raw for me, and it was hitting me in all the right places to make me want to ball my eyes out and call myself a freaking bitch and a coward for what I did to Eugene.

"Look, from what I know about Doc, the guy's not one to roll over easily when it comes to takin' care of people, ya know?" Babe asked me casually, shuffling in his own uniform as well as I looked over at him in confusion, "The guy's willing to risk his own neck to protect us."

"Typical Medic nature." I grumbled to him.

"That's not the point. Doc has only called us by our real names…you know that?" He asked me in all seriousness, having me rethink to the plenty of times that he called on the others in our Company. He never used a nickname on any of the Easy Company men….which was odd because everyone else did. Even I did. Hell, I used his real name on him and not Doc, which made it more confusion and yet made more sense at the same time. I thought it was something that was always normal for him, I never thought anything by it.

"The way I see it, compared to the rest of the guys, Doc's more of the boldness in this group than anyone else. None of us will say it, but sometimes we get scared shitless going into battles and running towards bullets. But with Doc, the guy will run after us without even hesitating or thinking twice," Babe explained, having me see him look more content in what he was talking about then he did before, "And I know he's the same with you. You may be cocky and sometimes a handful to work with, but man Doc cares about you more than anyone else in Easy."

"But why?" I asked with a shrug of my shoulders, "I'm never had to deal with someone like Eugene when it came to me wanting protection. I never wanted it."

"I know you don't," Babe reassured me, "Hell, I wouldn't either if it seemed like I was in a fuckin' plastic bubble all my life. But I think you should let him in….let him protect you….it's how he shows that he loves you." I snapped my head over at him now, seeing him give me a serious look with his cigarette between his fingers near his lips. He knew that we loved each other, give didn't scare me at all but somehow made me feel a little but more relieved that it was someone like Babe who was taking this lightly and without hesitation or concern. Almost like Joe, hell, just like Joe.

"How long have you known?" I asked him curiously, seeing him shrug his shoulders as he inhaled.

"Since Foye. When you went MIA with Luz and Popeye, Doc was torn from head to two not known' where you were and if you was coming back," Babe explained in his cocky mode again, but I listened and kept silent, "It might have been before, you know? Maybe it was when I caught the both of you making out in that library before we went into Bastogne—"

"What?!" I asked him suddenly, scarlet in the face and my heart dropping to the floor. Babe said nothing, looked dead ahead and smirked on the fence next to me. I heard him chuckle, having me breathe in the stick one more time before something run out from the comfortable silence of the town.

A gunshot.

Both of our head snapped to the left, in the heart of the town where the sound was heard. Then we heard the soldiers in our Company cry out what happened. It didn't sound good, not to me. It took a moment when we saw soldiers then running over to one building in particular where the gun went off at, having both Babe and myself hop off the fence.

"What was that?" Babe asked me as I shook my head, not knowing what to do or say at that moment. But then I snapped back into medic mode then, someone must have gotten hurt from a false fire. I then started to run, not thinking, towards the gun shot and thinking of the worst.

"Jem, wait up will ya?!" Babe asked behind me as he was trying to run too. But I was way faster and I reached the building within seconds, Someone was shot, I knew that for certain and I might have been one of our men for some reason. But how could that be so? The whole city was deserted and there as no sign of any German officers there. It came out of one of the lobbies of the apartment complexes. A bunch of the soldiers were already crowding the entrance when I shoved my way through into the lobby of the area.

There was, in fact, a dead body in the middle of the lobby room and no one was moving from where they were when I was now in the middle of the circle after pushing my way through. The body was sprawled out, blood pooling at the floor near the head, coating the German Officer uniform. I froze then, seeing that the German was now dead, and there was no sing of any of the Easy members taking the credit for shooting him. It was like no one dared to even move or say who did it, some kind of shock.

"What in the hell was that?" Babe asked out loud, asking the same question that I wanted to ask. But something else caught my attention, or someone. It sounded like panting, on the other side of the circle and whoever was doing it was hiding behind some of the soldiers there who were still in shock. I walked across the circle, missing the dead body with my feet and shoving my way past the ones there. Someone was against the wall, breathing in and out like they were having a heart attack. There was a luger in their hand, clutching it so tightly in a death grip and his eyes were so wide. The soldiers moved away from the man as I looked at him with a open mouth.

Eugene.

"Eugene, what happened Eugene." I asked him calmly. I was seeing that his hand, that was holding the pistol, was still shaking like a leaf. I was no longer angry with him, nor did I want to fight. All, I wanted to know, was why he was holding the Luger in his hand that still had smoke coming out of the barrel. There was no color on his face, his eyes were so far from being warm and he looked like he saw death in front of him, in which he did. I felt so bad now, my heart broke as he spoke up.

"I killed him….I…I killed him." He gasped out, having me hear the others in the room gasp out from what they heard as I held out my hand to him to take the gun from him. He never once shot a gun before, not in the war. This was his first kill, and it was shaking him up too good. It was like when I was back in France when I shot the soldier there for hurting and almost killing Eugene. Now the roles were reversed, and I was not going to let him get pulled down into depression from murdering another person.

"Jesus." Babe said behind me as I reached over to place my hands on his wrist, seeing him watch with his eyes when my fingers touched his skin.

"He was coming right at me….the gun was right there and I….had no choice." Eugene kept gasping out like he was trying to breathe.

"Let go of the gun, Eugene. Listen to me..you're okay now." I reassured him in such a soft and loving manner that I could tell was affecting him. I pulled him them into my arms, wrapping both arms around him to show him that I was right there, he was okay. The fight was long gone from my memory. I dug my head into his shoulder, feeling him reluctantly wrap one arm around my and I could hear the Luger falling to the floor and making a clattering sound.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry." I whispered to him over and over into his jacket and he was holding me just as tight as I was holding him. I didn't want to fight anymore, not with Eugene and now over my own protection. I just needed to let him into my own life and be just as stubborn as I when it came to my own life. And I felt him when he hugged me back, the both of us not giving a damn that we were being seen by the others. I wanted to save him, like how he wanted to save me.

"I'm sorry too, Jemima. I didn't mean to…" he started as he whispered it harshly into my hair, but I cut him off.

"Shh. We're okay now. We're okay now." I reassured him in a repeated chant as we were embracing each other then. I was glad that we reconciled then since I couldn't think of my life without him at that point. No matter how much he wanted to protect me, I had to protect him too from time to time.

It took five minutes to have a fight with him, but it took three seconds to make it all better.


	34. Chapter 34

"Here." I stood in front of Eugene, seeing him look up at me with his head once in his hands. He was sitting in my new living space, mere minutes after he shot a German Officer and killed him. I escorted him away from the scene as the others got it cleaned up, Babe coming with me and helping me get him to sit down on the couch and making sure he was alright. Winters and Spiers were informed about what happened, and they were more concerned about Eugene and how he was dealing with the shock. I reassured them both that I was going to take care of him, such a switched role between us.

Eugene took the mug without saying anything as I watched him take a sip, his eyes were still too far gone from being warm as they used to be. Neither one of us looked like the wanted to talk about the fight we had on the highway, not since we were now in another warm place and we already thought it on our own. So it was over, at least to me, and he was still trying to return back to normal.

"You're gonna be okay." I reassured him, seeing him take a sip and take down the liquid down his throat like it was nails, grimace on his face and his eyes looking a bit harsh. He just nodded his head, his lips back to the thin line again that he would do whenever he was in deep thought.

"Tell me what you're thinking." I urged, sitting next to him then on the couch and seeing him think to himself for another minute. I didn't want to rush him, but I also didn't want to seem like I wanted to wait forever.

"I don't know anymore." Eugene confessed in his low tone, having me grimace a bit from hearing how defeated he sounded. It wasn't the Eugene that I knew, he was more confident than in what he was doing and how he was handling himself. But now, it looked like he was lost.

"You remember back in France, when I shot that soldier that almost killed you?" I asked him carefully, since that night was still a touchy subject between us. Eugene said nothing, but I saw him look over at me now and I could still some of the horrors on his face after he shot the officer.

"It kind of felt like….an out of body experience, you know?" I started with him, pausing before I talked about it some more, "It was a last minute thing I had to do in order to make sure that you were okay…even if it meant killing another person. It feels weird, but it'll get better." I didn't know what else to tell him then, since for me it got better after a day or two of letting it out of my system and giving it to God.

"Would God forgive me?" Eugene asked me in a lower tone, almost quivering as I breathed out slowly.

"I ask myself the same question, Eugene." I replied, thinking of how God could ever forgive me for a nasty sin that would haunt me for the rest of my life. This was going to haunt Eugene as well since he was far too kind to kill anyone. I then felt Eugene take my hand in his, still looking ahead at him now and I looked at our joined hands. He once again held it with gentleness and kindness, no longer in fear or in hate.

"I never meant to say those things, Jemima," Eugene started to explain, his voice wavering and he sounded like he was about to be in tears. I shook my head as he went on, "Calling you a doormat and someone who's beyond frustrating. I was just….heated that you didn't tell me about what happened."

"I know." I simply replied, squeezing his hand in mine.

"But you are frustrating sometimes, you know that? No matter how hard you try and be this strong bold woman, I know how fragile you are and how you're scared," Eugene confessed to me, now looking at me again as his eyes were slowly getting warmer now, "I want to be the strong on in this relationship with you, more than you know. I want to be the one who can keep the both of us sane, to be able to protect you when I know that you can't."

"And I'm willing to do that." I answered him without hesitation. He then gave me a shocked look, mouth slightly open from the fact that I practically gave up my pride and strength for our relationship and what I wanted out of it. I just smiled at him, feeling a weight was taking off my heart and now exposed for him to see.

"Really?" He asked me, as if I was joking with him and I just kept grinning at him.

"I don't think you get how much you mean to me, Eugene Roe," I explained to him calmly, though our hands were still connected in between us on the couch, "It scared me that I would have to stop being so prideful, at first it did. But I'm willing to do it for you because I love you." I then could see the corners of his mouth slowly going up with the same smile that I first saw when I first met him three years ago, that grin that made me both weak in the knees and strong in the heart.

"I hope you're willing to take me back, after all I said to you and how I practically chewed you out." I confessed to him, seeing him search my eyes to see how I was affected on how I treated him. It was bad, beyond words since I almost destroyed what we had because I was too damn prideful to let him in. Eugene then placed his mug on the coffee table in front of us, having me see him sit back and then stare at me dead on in the face, in my eyes. I knew that stare he was giving me, almost having me breathless as he opened his mouth.

"I was never willing to let you go. Jemima, you are far too good for me to let you go, and I never will." Eugene stated to me, almost having me want to cry on how sincere he was sounding. Even after me chewing him out and making him feel worthless and being such a bitch, Eugene was still going to hold my hand and refuse to release me. After a mere second of letting it soak underneath me, I then leaned over and kissed him squarely on the mouth. He deepened it within a second, having me sigh against his lips when one of his hands rested on my neck and the other resting on my waist, pulling me closer to him.

Our lips met, tasted and slid against each other, almost like it was meant to happen as I pulled his lower lip with my teeth gently and hearing him groan. Why was the meek Louisiana Medic kissing me like _this_? It made me wonder if he ever kissed before, because how he was doing it now make me roll my eyes to the back of my head and my toes curl. Damn.

He then suddenly wrapped his whole arm around my waist, as if to pull me close to him though we were close enough. I had to do one better since everything, I was feeling, was multiplied and making it harder to just think. So I swung my leg over him, straddling him on the couch and kissing him back hotly and feeling him freeze underneath me now. I was still going to bold with him, bold enough to drive him crazy and insane for me. This fire between us was igniting and growing, and there was no sign with either one of us to cower back, we were no longer afraid then. One hand on the backrest to support myself, and the other in his hair as both of his hands found my hips to steady himself from going insane. For some reason, we needed this. We almost lost each other from a stupid fight, yet we were still willing to fight for each other and keep this alive. I was just thankful that the door was locked and we were alone for once.

He kissed me, his head tilted up for being against the curved backrest of the couch as I was towering over him, our kisses were bolder and our breathing was heavier. His hands were gripping my hips tightly, moving up with ease to my lower back under my jacket to touch my thin shirt. I placed my fingers against his collar on his neck, feeling how hot his skin was and my fingers slowly dipped under his collar when his lips were ascending over my jawline to my neck. He sucked there, having me gasp out in shock and in lust as I closed my eyes to concentrate. But it was so hard, since his lips were against my pulse and his hands were so close to my skin. After a moment, he then released my hips, leaning forward and I clung to his neck as he tried to shuffle out of his jacket but slipped. I giggled, feeling him against my skin as he was still trying to get the damn jacket off.

"Goddamnit." He mumbled in frustration and out of breath as I smirked into his hair, still holding onto him and then he threw the jacket to the floor in haste. One of his hands was on my thigh, the other on my back to hold me there, having me then throw off my own jacket. But my hand was stuck, having me groan and then sigh in defeat, resting my head on his shoulder and he started to laugh against my collarbone.

"I'm stuck." I said in almost a defeated moan though Eugene kept laughing against my skin. Even in a heated make out session we found ourselves being silly and naive again. Eugene simply grabbed my sleeve, pushing out my hand from it with gentleness and grace and then throwing my own jacket onto the floor. Once it was discarded, the both of us back in our shirts and just looking at each other than, no longer needing to rush it since I was just beyond happy to be there with Eugene. He looked up at me, since I was still straddling him and not having the heart to move, then tracing his fingers up my own hands, then to my arms to slowly ascend to my neck. It made me shiver, how he was staring at me and he was taking his time with me.

I watched him with my eyes, no moving as his fingers went to my neck and having me close my eyes in ecstasy when he touched the raw area on my where he was kissing me mere seconds before the fingers were just resting there. We stared at each other now with love in our eyes, no longer hateful or scared. My hands were on his ribs, gently waiting there as we were just breathing and smiling.

"Is this what it feels like?" I asked him out of the blue, since both of our lips were still raw and red and my own head was still hazy.

"What do you mean?" Eugene asked me gently, his hands were still on my neck near my jaw and I sighed in happiness.

"What love feels like?" I asked sheepishly, since I had no clue in the matter and was never experienced in the feeling. Here I was, almost turning 30 in a couple of days and this was my first taste of what love felt like with someone else who was not my family. With someone who was both so opposite of me, yet the same. With my best friend, who turned into someone more igniting and more grounded. I saw his eyes first, and I knew they were different shades with his personality. When it was happy, they were warm like the Pacific Ocean in the summer and the sun on a hot day, ignite with passion and peace. When he was angry, they were dark enough to be rocks along the beach, getting the battered waves in the storm. I loved his eyes first, beyond anything else.

What I was feeling inside, what lightness and an explosion of chaos at the same time. Almost like I was breathing for the first time, my heart expanding and descending at the same time. It was so real, how I would and could do anything for Eugene and I didn't care if it made me feel like an idiot or a fool. I loved him, I _loved_ him. Eugene smiled up at me, leaning up to brush his lips against my own as I dug my fingers in his shirt to hold onto something grounded.

"God I hope so, _chere_." He merely replied to me, having me grin against his lips as we ascending into heavenly kissing again, Eugene placing his hand on the back of my head to hold me there as the other hand touched the skin under my shirt near my waist. We didn't move past kissing, nor running our fingers over each other's skin to just feel that electricity that we thought was a trick in our minds.

This was enough, more than enough for me to just feel alive again and feel loved.

* * *

><p>The doors were opened, and I peered inside behind Malarky as he had his own rifle out and ready. We were looking now into what was the head home of Hitler, but it was now deserted. When we got word to head out into the Eagle's Nest, all of Easy Company wanted to get there within minutes. Half of us ran, and the rest left it to the truck to carry us up. I ran up with the men, since I preferred to get feelings back in my legs after Eugene and I were in my room for at least 10 minutes. We left after that, still feeling good that we were back on good terms with one another.<p>

I walked in carefully behind Malarky, though the rest of the men were walking around in their own to explore the place. It felt surreal to be in that place without anyone after us, since I could only look with my eyes and see that it was mostly a ghost palace now. Some papers were littered on the floor as I looked with my eyes, seeing the German writing and reading what was there on the paper.

There was a pop heard, having me shoot up to see what it was. Malarky popped open a bottle of champagne and I sighed in both relief and in frustration since he was clearly going to drink. He walked over to Spiers, whom was looking over a dead German Officer's body.

"Cheers to him." Malarky replied, raising the bottle in a toast as I looked around some more in the room. There were books along the wall, having me walk over now interest and see what kind of books he had on his shelf. What would Hitler be reading since he thought he was already the kind of the freaking world? It seemed taboo already, to be reading up on Hitler and what he was interested in, but then again it was a curious thought to have.

"Wanting to catch up on some readin' there, Liebgott?" I looked behind me, seeing Malarky looking at me with the bottle in his hand. I shrugged my shoulders, looking back at the spines of the books there, reading each title as I went on.

"Curious as to what the guy was readin'." I explained to him lightly as I read on, both feeling a bit scared from the titles there and intrigued at the same time.

"Why? I doubt the guy's a reader anyways." Malarky commented in a grin as he walked over to read the books as well, though he had no idea since they were all in German.

"You'd think being one of the biggest leaders in the world, the guy would want to read up in stuff in order to back his shit up," I advised him as I pulled out a book from the shelf, feeling the weight on my fingers and in my hand as I held it up for him see. Malarky peered at the book with a look of nonchalance.

"What's that book about?" He asked, pointing with the bottle in his hand. I looked back down at the book, feeling uneasiness come over me then as I read the title out loud.

" '_Racial Typology of the German People.' _" I read out loud, bitterness in my tone of voice as I was realizing what kind of book I was holding in my hand. Malarky's face dropped as well, having me give out a shaky breath and then release the book from both of my hands. The book fell to the floor in a loud bang, but my mind was too focused on the title and how it was there on the shelf of Adolf Hitler.

"Leave it, Jem." Malarky warned me carefully as I then heard another set of footsteps coming over to the area, the both go us looking up to see Spiers there. He was confused as to what made the sound, but once his eyes made it to the book and seeing it there on the floor, his face went back to being hard again. I watched him fish out a lighter from his pocket, igniting the flame and dropping the lighter. The book lit up, dying in front of the three of us, and I could only watch from my spot and pray that I would not break down again, Hitler was getting his P's and Q's from the books on Jews, and now we were killing it with our own kindness.

I didn't know whether or no Spiers did that for me personally, but I hoped he did.

* * *

><p><strong>May 17th 1945<strong>

**Berchtesgaden **

_Dear Jemima, _

_I'm glad you wrote back when you had the chance. The summer season has swept over San Francisco and we've been taking some of the kids out to see the concerts that are at the park and everytime we pass by the corner bookstore, I think of you. But don't worry, your sister has enough books for you so when you get home you can get back on track with your reading. Although from what you've written in your last letter, you're reading plenty over there in Austria._

_We are sad to hear about what happened to the lost souls in that camp. Your father and I prayed all night, not just you and Joe but for the rest of the Company. We prayed for peace amongst you and the other men there, since that must be so hard to grasp. That was a main reason why we wanted to leave the country, the lives of Jews were being threatened over and over. We did not want that for you, nor your brothers and sisters. We wanted you to have the best life you can, and we know you are doing that now in the army. _

_Don't tell your father I said this, but he was bragging to his friends at the barber shop about you and Joe. He is quite proud of the pair of you, especially you and your work with medicine. There are certain gifts that God gives us in this world, and not only is medicine your gift, but also you compassion to aid others is beyond normalcy. _

_Deliah is getting married, can you believe it? She is beyond excited to get married to that young mane Trevor down the street from us, and his parents are lovely people. All she wants though is to wait until you and your brother to come home to make it official. Anthony met a young woman at work whom he adores, her name is Sarah Jean. I like her, she has enough spunk to keep your brother in his place and not let him stray. She reminds me of you._

_Elizabeth's room is now filled top to bottom with books, and she's thinking of going to Oxford for an semester with her class once the war dies down a bit. They have a great literature class seminar there and she was qualified to join in the class. Henry has been taking piano lessons and is now playing Debussy all the time in the house. The famous song, you've heard it before, Claire De Lune, is his favorite and he doesn't stop playing it. Your father is now trying to convince him to learn how to play the accordion, so that'll be interesting to hear._

_Write back and tell me what Austria's like. I remember being in that country when I was a little girl: the high mountain tops and the green roll hills. It must be the same, describe it to me and tell me what you see. Your letters bring me peace sometimes, and I enjoy it. _

_Also, tell me more about this Eugene Roe boy you met. It sounds like you like him, and I wonder how your brother feels about that._

_Your mother._

I placed the letter down as I was sitting on the edge of the lake I was at, seeing the ripples waves coming to and from the shore where I placed my bare feet in. It was late morning now, warm enough for me to place my feet in yet cold enough for me not to go swimming. The peacefulness came over me as I was looking out at the high alps that were around us then, when we were still occupying the once Nazi town and waiting for more orders. There was now a point system being placed with us, since we were somewhat celebrating the fact that we were done with the war.

After we raided the Eagle's Nest, I didn't see anything of true value that I wanted there, though Welsh grabbed silverware for his girlfriend back at home, others snagged things here and there. It didn't feel right for me, taking something that belonged to Hitler. It was tainted in his memory, making me sick to look at the stuff since whenever I thought of him, I thought of the millions of Jews he killed and slaughtered.

Joe had my hair cut again once I got back from Eagle's Nest, going back to being short again since i was so used to it that this point in the war. It was back to being along my jawline, the waviness of my hair was giving it volume and making it look more angular. I liked it, since it wasn't manly at all but more girl since I would braid the bangs to the side and clip it there.

"There's the birthday girl!" I grinned, looking behind me to see a group of the guys walking over to me with smiles on their faces. It was my birthday, the big 3-0. I didn't feel thirty, though the war made me feel older than I should. Yet when I was with the boys, playing cards or joyriding through the town since we had nothing else to do, I felt young again, It was when Eugene was with me, though, that I felt especially young and free. Luz, Shifty, Garcia, Spina, Joe, Bull, Eugene and Shifty were walking over and some of them had something hidden behind their backs. I hopped up from the side of the lake, shoving the letter in my pocket as Joe gave me hug, lifting me up from the ground and I hugged him back carefully.

"Happy birthday sis," He said into my hair, having me smile as he lowered me to the ground, "We're 30 years old now. Don't ya feel old?"

"Now I do, thanks you scab." I joked with him, but even his smile was hiding something from me. He was more reserved with his playfulness and snarky replies since we left the Landsburg camps, and it scared me to wonder what was still hurting within him.

"We all got you some gifts, and we already gave your brother his this morning when we bum rushed him in his room. Boy was he happy about that!" Luz said in a grin as he handed me a small bundle of pictures. I grinned at him as Joe was giving him a death glare, "What? It's true, we gave you smokes and a new deck of cards that I found!"

"I'm sad I missed that," I commented, then looking up to see Eugene next to Joe, a small smile on his face. When Joe was still occupied with Luz, I winked at Eugene and I saw him wink back at me as I looked back at the pictures in my hand. The top picture was of Joe and I back in Camp Toccoa, the two of us posing for whoever was taking the picture and we were grinning, arms around each other and my long hair flowing in the wind. We looked so young there, not even touched or stained by the demons of the war.

"Oh man, I forgot about this picture. Jesus Luz, you're gonna make me cry." I said to him in a sincere tone, looking back at him and then feeling him give me a hug as I kissed the side of his head.

"I figured you needed a pick me up, and theses came from a friend who was the regiment photographer at Camp Toccoa. I had to give him some of my smokes and chocolate bars for him to send any picks of you." He explained to me, "And I think a couple were from the party we threw for the pair of you."

"Ah, I remember that party. In which I was being man handled by Bull." I said as if it was blissful memory and Bull just chuckled from next to Garcia.

"It was my upmost pleasure." He replied back, having my stick my tongue at him and the rest of the group giggle. The rest of the guys got me some gifts: cards they made that said happy birthday, some candy they retrieved and even my own deck of cards that were a bit worn compared to my brother's own pair, but it was a nice gesture non the less. After I opened the gifts, we played a few rounds of poker along the lake line and just laughed about the bitter but pleasant memories of Camp Toccoa and that party. When they did that for Joe and I, I was just getting to knew them all. But some years later, in the heart of Europe and already torn and sewn back together, we knew each other much more than I could ever want in true friends.

The rest of the group left me there with just Eugene and my small bundle of gifts. The sun rose a bit higher in the alps around us as I was just standing there in front of Eugene, seeing that he took gave me something that he wanted to leave for last. It was a book, having me grin from ear to ear as always since I always loved getting books from him. But there was something else wrapped on top of the book, in a small bundle of what seemed to be a handkerchief.

"Happy birthday." Eugene merely said to me, having me blush at him as he placed the book and bundle in my hands with care. I took the bundle off at first to see the book, gasping from seeing the title.

"_A Tree Grows in Brooklyn_! I haven't read this yet." I said to him in a light manner.

"Really? I thought you did, and Frank had this copy since we were in Landsburg and I thought you would want your own." Eugene stammered out, since he was still in shock that I really like the gift. It made me love him ever more, seeing him flustered in front of me over just a simple book and how he thought I would have already appreciated it.

"No, I haven't gotten around to read it yet. I've wanted to, but it never happened." I explained back, seeing him sigh in relief as I then placed the book under my arm to look at the bundle in my other hand, feeling a bit of weight behind it as I slowly unfolded the silk fabric, piece by piece. At the very button in the middle of the silk fabric of the handkerchief, I saw what looked like a necklace chain that was thing and delicate to hold and wear.

There was nothing else to it, just a simple silver chain of a necklace. But to me, it means much more than that because it came from him….from my Eugene. I never wanted anything beyond extravagant, it made me feel out of place even being near a jewelry store. I was so plain in what I wanted, yet this felt beyond enough for me. It was a simple chained necklace, so why did it feel like he was practically giving me the world.

"This is gorgeous." I said to Eugene in such a breath-like manner that is was almost a whisper. I almost cried, seeing it in front of me and having it be a gift. I was completely convinced that I became a emotional wreck since I came into the war, since seeing the chain in my hands made me want to cry. Eugene placed his hands against my own that was still holding the fabric and the chain, even his touch was enough for me to cry.

"Jemima?" He asked me with caution, since he had no idea why I would react like this. I finally looked up at him and I could see the sun looking down over the both of us, having me black hair look warmer in the sun and the hint of color he was getting on his skin. His face was knitted in confusion now since I was gasping for some air from it all hitting me at once.

"Eugene, this is beautiful." I voiced to him again, this time my voice was a bit bolder and less fragile. He gave me that small smile that we would only give each other, his fingers going around my wrist and then reached down carefully to grab the chain from being nestled in the fabric.

"Joe told me you hated jewelry in the first place, and all of the jewelry that was left behind here in the town were too extravagant for you, in my opinion." Eugene explained as I was now clutching the fabric in my fingers while he was latching the chain around my neck. I could feel his fingers touching my skin and tracing my neck carefully as he did this, our heads were close enough together that we would kiss but I held back since I wanted to hear his explanation.

"You talked to Joe?" I asked him with a hint of suspicion in my voice. Eugene gave me a nervous grin, pulling away as the necklace was in place on my neck and I could feel the cool chain on my skin.

"I wanted to find you something that I thought you would want other than a book…and I never had a real girlfriend that I gave jewelry to anyways so….this was new enough for me." He confessed with a shrug of his shoulders, having me widely smile and feel the same same of a warmth coiling in my stomach from just hearing him talk about what he went through to find this for me. He wanted to give me something special, wanting to prove himself to me with more than just words. I then stuffed the fabric in my pocket and ran my fingers in my short hair again, since I was wanting to hyperventilate about the whole thing with him.

"No guy has ever given me jewelry before," I explained to him with my tone almost going up in both pitch and mention. Eugene looked at me at first with shock, but then he laced our fingers together and he pulled me into his arms. I welcomed him there, my arms around his neck as his arms were around my waist, holding me in the ways that we would when we were alone and we needed comfort or peace. I loved his hugs, they were both of protection and mutual respect, along with his love being felt in his his arms touched my own. Just hugging him and how our heads touched each other, was like being back at home and being under the high trees in the park and feeling the sun on my skin.

"That's a shame, you deserve more than just this necklace since I think you're beyond beautiful." Eugene murmured into my skin as we hugged, almost swaying in each other's arms like we were in some kind of dance. It made me remember my birthday years ago, the both of us dancing together when I was just trying to admit that I liked this man in front of me, whom was holding me like I was made of glass. But now we were swaying back and forth in each other's arms along a lake in Austria, having no worry in the world that would ruin this birthday for me.

"I have to get used to that," I confessed softly into his hair, "How you call me beautiful."

"You better, since I'll keep telling you that for the rest of my life." Eugene merely replied back as if it was second nature to him. I grinned as we kept dancing together along the shores of the lake, having me peer down at the pile of pictures that were on the floor. The picture on the top was of Eugene and I, three years ago, dancing at my party. My long hair pulled back and how big of a smile was on my face as I was looking away at someone who was not in the shot. But what made me my heart soar, was of Eugene in the picture. He was looking right at me, love in his eyes already and how he was looking at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world.

It's been three years, and nothing has changed really. Not to us.


	35. Chapter 35

**" Heroic Army and Marine force dead mark the battlefield of Okinawa where a bloody engagement is being fought. Thousands of Yanks have been wounded or sacrificed their lives to drive a fanatical foe from this base."**

I watched from my spot near the front of the group of men as we were all sitting together, seeing the new reel that came in informing us about the fight in the Pacific. I popped another pill in my mouth, since I was holding the bottle in my hands and I looked down, counting three more pills left before I run out yet again.

It's been a week since my birthday, and once again we were just killing time until we were going to be told what was next on our agenda when it came to the war. Rumors were spreading around that we were going to be shipped out to the Pacific to help with the fight against the Japanese, yet most of us were dreading that thought and all we wanted to do, was go home. Yet here we were, sitting in a lush German town with nothing to do but twiddle our thumbs and drink through anything we could get our hands on.

The rest of the guys were trying to get themselves back to normal, though it was easier said than done. Luz was still his playful self, playing cards and having me toss him some books to read because I knew fully well that he was going to get himself in trouble if he wasn't occupied. Shifty would go out hunting, as our infamous sniper with the best shot in Easy, and he taught me how to hunt every once in awhile early in the morning. At first I didn't think I would like it, but it was more soothing and another way I can keep my mind on track compared to reading a book.

As for myself, Eugene and Spina, we were raiding the hospital and doctor's office there in town for any kind of information or supplies that we could need. The German officers, that lived there, took most of the heavy stuff, morphine, and plasma to name the biggest ones that we would want to get our hands on. But we were left with plenty of medical books, in which I dove into on my spare time, and with other unique tools that they too forgot to take. The three of us took over the doctor's office on the main town road, nestled on the first floor of an apartment complex and we would just hide out there from time to time.

We had our own friendship, the three of us, and it was just so simple that we would find the time to talk to each other about medical wounds and how to treat them, almost like we were quizzing each other in case something _does_ happen within the next few days. Unlikely.

**"The Yanks progress slowly, facing one of the fiercest barrages of the war. Each advance is gained by sheer grit in the face of withering fire from a suicidal enemy being hammered back into the hills. The going is brutal and casualties are high but Okinawa is the next step towards victory over Japan. A victory that can only be won by work, war **bonds**, and heroic sacrifice."**

Once the reel was cut off and done, the lights came back on and some of the men got up to move out of the room. I was about to grab my bag when I looked behind me to overhear some of the conversation that was going on. Spiers was talking to Nixon, along with Welsh and Lipton.

"So when are we going?" Spiers asked Nixon as I threw my satchel on over my shoulder, slowly though to get in on some of the conversation without it being noticeable.

"We don't have a date yet."

"Are we gonna tell the men right away?

"Some have enough points to go home."

"Not many, if their only medal's a Purple Heart." I paused, thinking of anyone in our Company who only had a Purple Heart that was enough credit to get some points, if not any. Points were all we were thinking about now: who had enough and who wasn't allowed to go home yet. Some of us were dying to get home, and other's weren't. Up to that point, I had no real worry about if I was going o be sent home or not because of the points that I personally had. I had a few shares go eating hit in the field, more than I should have being a combat medic. Does this mean that I would be sent home? How many points did I have really? I never gotten around to count, yet again counting the points I had against me and my name made me feel even sicker.

"But I want those who are staying, and all replacements, ready to fight. That means rifle ranges, daily close-order drills, troop reviews. Above all, physical training, get your NCO's on it." Winters explained to the officers as I slowly got up from my spot finally, not wanting to hear anymore and break a rule again it. I walked over to the front door as Nixon was walking past Winters.

"They're gonna love you." he commented to him almost under his breath as I exited to room and walked back out into the lobby. Winters only smirked from Nixon's remark, but then he saw me as I was trying so hard to avoid him since I felt like he would want to talk to me about it. I said it too soon, since he walked over to me.

"Liegbott, may I talk to you for a moment?" He asked me politely, having me internally want to scream no but I bit my tongue.

"Oh course, sir." I answered, slowing my walk and Winters giving me a nice smile that he would always have on his face. Full of optimism.

"You're probably aware that there is a point system that is happening amongst the surviving companies," Winters explained to me as we both walked outside onto the paved street, having me feel the cool summer breeze coming through the small town while the other soldiers were talking to each other about the reel that we just watched, "Are you aware of how many points you have, Sergeant?"

"More than enough to go home I should think, sir." I answered him back in an honest tone.

"That may be true, but there is still a possibility that we might need you overseas to help with the medics there." Winters explained to me as we faced each other than on the street, no longer walking but having me look at him with all seriousness on my face.

"You wish me to go overseas and help, sir?" I asked him in curiosity, since I was now confused with the conversation that we were having at that point. Did he want me to go home or stay and help some more with the war?

"I'm just letting you know that you have an option." Winters reassured me, having me now more confused.

"I don't understand, sir." I admitted, seeing him shift a bit from being in front of me.

"Jemima, you have a choice: You can choose to go home or you can go to the Pacific with the rest of the men. As one of our Medics, if you go over to the Pacific with the men, you'd be promoted to Head Medic in a new division and no longer being a part of the front battle lines." Winters explained to me calmly, though the thought of that was going over in my head again and again. Was I going to be Promoted? No longer running across the battlefield for the aid of a fellow soldier who was hurt and crying for help? I would be stuck in a hospital for hours on end, helping those who were too far broken for just a band-aid.

"I wouldn't be with Easy, would I, sir?" I asked him in a worried tone, looking up at him and seeing him say nothing at first. I cringed then, another sacrifice that was going to have to be made. No more Easy Company for me to take care of personally, or at least see them everyday like I have for the past three years. It pained me, thinking that I would be separated from my brothers whom I would protect with all my strength. No Luz to hear jokes or stories from, no Bull to offer some kindness, NO Webster to have a book club with every day, no Babe and his smarts remarks about anything under the sun that pissed him off, no Christenson to play poker with and lose against, no Joe to look after with one eye on his back, and no Eugene. Oh god…no Eugene.

"Just think about it, Jemima. The rest of the men are going to have to go if they don't have enough points, but you, on the other hand, have the choice to go or not." Winters reminded me before he walked off, though I was still in a daze with what he told me. Either way, I would be away from the men. I had to accept that: going home with the points I had and being safe, or going to the Pacific and being in a hospital 22 hours a day. Which was I going to choose?

Which was worth it?

* * *

><p>I was sitting on top of the doctor's office countertop, sitting Indian Style and reading another medical book that I found in the office the day we raided the place, trying to pass the time and get my mind off of what I was talking about with Winters when I heard the door opening and closing. Looking up, I saw both Spina and Eugene walk in, Spina first and then Eugene as he closed the door. I peered back down back at the book, though they both were standing in front of me now as if they were about to wait to get my attention. I looked back up again, seeing both sets of eyes were on my as if they were reading me to see what was going on.<p>

"May I help you?" I asked carefully, but not bitch since these two were the ones in front of me, not Cobb or Joe who were smart assess.

"Is it true, on how many points you have?" Spina asked me, having me lower the book back on the counter as I could hear the hint of agitation in his voice from the conversation that he just brought up. Slowly I looked at Eugene, seeing him say nothing but shrug his shoulders at me as I looked back at Spina once again.

"Spina, I don't even know how many points I have on me, but it might be a record if we're going to be honest here." I replied back with my shrug of my shoulders. Spina rolled his eyes as I folded my hands on my lap.

"Well, I don't have enough points to go home, and Doc doesn't have enough either. Which leaves you, and if my memory is correct, then you _can_ go home if you wanted to." Spina explained to me as could then tell where we were going on this conversation. I nodded my head in agreement.

"It's true, given my track record on how many times I almost died, I should be a shoe-in when it comes to going home," I explained to him, "However, Winters told me that I could be given a promotion as Head Medic over at the Pacific." Both of their eyes went wide when I told them this, but I was focused on Eugene and how he was going to react. It looked a bit off for him, and I couldn't blame him. The thought of not being with him was still a raw pain that was inching underneath my skin like a bruise, and it was hurting the more I thought about it.

"Head Medic? So you won't be on the line anymore?" Spina asked me, having me see with Eugene's dark blue eyes that he was silently asking me the same question. I just nodded my head, seeing him close his eyes for the briefest of moments before Spina spoke up once more.

"Well…that's kind of great, isn't it?" He asked me with optimism in his voice, though now my eyes were wide at him, "You don't have to worry about being shot at or getting hurt."

"Yeah, but that can mean too that I won't be Easy anymore, Spina." I reminded him, seeing the optimism no longer on his face as I said it as calmly as I wanted to, though the other side of me wanted to scream and how shitty of a situation it was going to be, "I don't wanna be away from the boys as much as the next guy, I really don't. Either way, going home for going to the Pacific, I won't be with you anymore." It rang out in the office, the three of us letting it being absorbed and drank in like it was some kind of slow poison. I didn't want that reality, I wanted to stay with the men until the end of the whole war and then say goodbye. But now I had to say goodbye to them early?

"Winters can't let that happen, will be?" Eugene asked me finally, hearing his voice for the first time in the whole conversation. He sounded concerned about the situation, but I could see in his eyes that he was more concern about me not being anywhere near Easy or him.

"I don't know, Eugene." I confessed to him, seeing him close his eyes in pain and the hand that was on the countertop was slowly making a fist. I watched with hesitance, feeling a bit bad that he was finding out about my own fate. We had to talk about it later, I knew that for certain. But then it was interrupted by a group of the guys bursting into the Doc's office where we were. It was Bull, Perconte, Malarky, Garcia, and Babe, all of them looking a bit winded and out of it like they were holding some valuable news within themselves.

"Hey guys, we have a plan!" Babe said to the three of us, having the conversation that was once there in the room no longer needed and out the window at this point.

"What do ya mean?" Spina asked him, turning to lean against the counter in front of me and no longer concerned about my own fate. Thank God for that.

"They're holding a raffle to send someone home, and we thought of someone whom we all wanna get outta here." Garcia explained to all three of us. I was a bit surprised about it, since I was never told about a rally that they were going to hold.

"What do you mean by a raffle?" Eugene asked him, since he too was not following.

"It's more like a lottery. They're doing it for every Company, one soldier who gets their number called can go home. No questions asked." Bull explained to me some more, having Eugene and I shook looks at each other with surprise on our faces. So made more sense than the whole points factor behind it.

"Why a lottery though?" Spina asked.

"It's the anniversary of D-Day, that's when they're doing it." Babe replied, "But that's not the point. We know who we wanna send home." I grinned from ear to ear since I was no longer the subject of if I was going to go to the Pacific or not. They were willing to rig the system in order to send someone home and make sure they were safe. I wanted to know who it was since it seemed so important to the group of them.

"Who are you riggin' it for?" I asked them all, seeing them give me mischievous grins because of who they are thinking about. I leaned forward a bit, wondering myself who it was going to be. I and to think all the men in the company and who was going to be picked by the others. But I was beaming when they told me who they were thinking about.

But I was beaming when they told me who they were thinking about.

* * *

><p>"Goodbye, Shifty." I said to him as he stood in front of me, army bag in hand and the jeep waiting for him. Shifty's number was pulled, and he was being sent home because of the plan our men conducted together. Eugene, Spina and I were in on the plan, and I smiled widely when his name was called and he looked rather shocked. After he said his goodbyes to Winters and the rest of the men, he came over to say goodbye to me since I was the last one he would see before he disappeared out into the mountains and back on his boat. Shifty stood in front of me and he had his own big grin on his face, wearing his proper uniform.<p>

"Bye, Jem. Hopefully, we can meet up sometime when you get back to the states." Shifty offered with his usual optimism and lightness in his tone. I grinned from ear to ear.

"I would like that. You should come out to San Francisco and I can show you around, though I don't think they have plenty of shooting ranges for you." I joked, hearing him chuckle in front of me as I giggled. I could always have Shifty there to be a loving supportive friend and someone who was not hard headed as the rest of the men. He was also a rare soul in the army, which was why I was beyond glad he was going home and no longer being in harms way.

"I think I can handle being on the West Coast." Shifty joked, having me smile at him one last time before he then reached over to give me a hug. I hugged him back, thinking that he was the first one in the Company that I would have to say goodbye to, and it was already starting to hurt in my chest to just let Shifty go from my arms. Shifty snuck in a kiss on my cheek before he released me, grabbing his bag and then hopping into the jeep. I watched with big eyes as he waved at me, the jeep taking him along the road and out of our lives in the war.

He was the first goodbye I would have to use for now on and only wished it would be the last.

* * *

><p>"What are you going to do?" Eugene asked me as we were sitting side by side on my bed back at my apartment. After I said goodbye to Shifty, I went back up to my place because I knew Eugene would want to talk about the points I had against me and how I had a choice. I personally didn't want to talk about it, but then again I wanted to hear how Eugene was taking the whole thing. I pinched some of the short hair that was framing my face, looking a bit out of it myself.<p>

"I don't know, Eugene." I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands and breathing out in hesitance. Eugene rubbed my arm in a soothing rhythm, his thumb tracing a cycle along my skin to calm me down from another anxiety attack, "Either way, it's not looking good for me."

"You want my opinion?" Eugene asked his voice was calm and thick with his accent and with care. I looked up at him, seeing him with his dark blue eyes and how he gave me a small smile to show that he meant no harm. If I had any want to this relationship to work, I had to remind myself to listen to all that he was willing to tell me, since I gave up my pride in order to keep us together.

"I think you should go home, get back to the Bay and get out of here while you can." Eugene urged me in his low tone, not rushed nor was it threatening. I only listened to him at this point, though I was so pressured to tell him that I had no intention of wanting to go home.

"You want me to leave you boys?" I asked though it sounded more like a broken statement than anything else.

"Jemima, you've had your own fair share of bloodshed, and I've seen it plenty of times. I don't want you to go into another situation where you could die." Eugene explained softly, his voice was still soothing enough to have love laced there, but he was still worried that I was going to go through with the Pacific and being a Head Nurse.

"It's bad enough I'm leaving Easy….leaving you," I paused, his thumb on my arm stopping rubbing my skin when he was mentioned, "No matter what I picked, I'm not going to be there to protect the men."

"That's for me and Spina now," Eugene reassured me, scooting a bit closer to me now so our knees would touch and our fingers would lace, "We can take care of them. You don't have'ta worry about that."

"But I want to," I countered back to him, looking at our joined hands and seeing how they were fitting perfectly together, "I want to be able to stay with these guys. I have been with them all since Toccoa, and I don't wanna end it here."

"I know you don't," Eugene said back in return, "You've been far too good to all of us, and I don't think any of the boys would want to loose ya either."

"I'll have to think about what I'm gonna do I guess." I said, breathing out as if I was holding it under water for far too long. Eugene said nothing as we just sat there on the bed, having this soak up through and through. I then looked over at him now, seeing him think to himself and have the same look of concentration on his face that he would use all the time when he was either doing medicine or in deep thought.

"We still have to go sailing, remember?" I reminded him, my tone was a bit lighter now with a hint of hope there as he looked back at me now, the sternness in his face was no longer evident. He finally broke into his smile, having me grin right back at him and feel that tightness between us about my fate with the Company was long gone.

"I never forgot. I promised you I would take you, all around the bayou." Eugene lightly reaffirmed his promise. I then tilted my head at him with a question lingering in the back of my head.

"What's the bayou like?" I asked him, seeing him pause and then give me a nervous laugh. I've never been anywhere else outside of San Francisco before, and it already sounded like a fantasy kind if place to me. It his voice was already magical for me to hear, whether it was yelling out an order for an injured medic or whispered in my ear with loving kindness, then I wanted to see he came from and where he ran and played as a child.

"It's peaceful….lots of trees and water to sail on and ride your boat through. In the dusk, when the fireflies come out, that's my favorite," Eugene said in such a light manner that his smile was radiating off of his blue eyes, "When I was a kid, my dad and mom and I would go out all the time in the summer near the end of the day. I would try and catch a firefly, but I was never lucky enough or fast enough." I could hear him keep talking about the bayou and where he grew up, how his house was a small shack of a place near the waters and how he grew up listening to the sounds of the water rustling along the low limbed branches. The worry of me leaving the company was no longer part of the conversation. We were normal again, the two of us talking.

How I wished it would last forever.

* * *

><p>The sound of a jeep coming down the street from the out lands made me look up from reading on the corner of the street in my chair, needing some fresh air and having some alone time to both think about the decision that I have to make and also my own future with Eugene. Did I want to marry him? That was no question to me, since so far in my relationship with him I couldn't picture my own life without him. I hated ti sometimes, thinking about getting married when I was already 30 years old. Eugene and I had a bit of a gap between us in age, though to me it didn't matter. I only wanted him, to hear his voice every day, to feel his touch against my skin, and to be able to kiss him out in the open when I felt like I wanted to. It sounded silly in my head, but it made me blush madly with the thought of marrying Eugene, but was I the only one?<p>

Did he want the same?

I shot up from my chair, seeing the jeep coming closer as I heard some of the soldiers coming over to where we were. One of them was Martin, who was still looking as grim as ever with his own walk in his step as we stood side by side.

"Who's that?" I asked him in curiosity as I placed the book I was reading in my satchel.

"Looks to be a Webster, a Sisk, and a Liebgott." Martin replied in his grouchy tone, as always, and I grinned at how he was saying it with nonchalance. I had no idea the three of them were gone, let alone leaving on a jeep. When they pulled up, I was about to walk over to them and smile at them, asking where they were. But my smile dropped, seeing the three of them looking rather somber and with no sign of sweetness of brightness on their faces or skin. This got me worried, but then it should. I knew Joe had something crawling up his ass for months now, but for Sisk and Webster to look like crap, that meant something went wrong.

All three of them hopped out of the jeep, Sisk out of the back and the other two from the sides. I walked over with Martin, the both of us looking a bit concerned as to what was going on. When they stood in front of us, they said nothing at first and I could see something was off with Joe. Really Off, to the point of having me see that he was once again haunted.

"What happened? What's wrong?" I asked them all in curiosity and in agitation, since they were still not saying anything. But I saw something on Joe's jacket sleeve, something that was not right and made me freeze in my spot and look the smile on my face. There was blood splatter there, clear as day, near his hand and I could see some drops there on his skin. Joe watched me, his eyes still dark as I stood a step back from him.

"Who's blood is that?" I asked him in a lower tone, seeing him shuffle in his spot as Webster and Sisk said nothing. I was not pleased with what I was seeing, and I knew he did something that was going to both make me sick and make me want to hurt him right then and there.

"Joe, who's goddamn blood is that?" I asked him in now a threatening tone, no longer finding happiness in him but pain. He did something without telling me, something vile and unforgiving. Once he looked at me, having me see his eyes and who cold they were, I gasped and made a fist at my side, in fear that I would hit him. He killed someone, I knew that face on him. He killed….oh dear god.

"Jemmie…" He started, taking a step towards me as if he wanted to make amends. But I shook my head, moving my arm from his reach as I took a step back, seeing him freeze from my actions and look at me now with big eyes.

"Don't….don't touch me. Leave me alone." I muttered to him, almost wanting to cry but I had no energy for that. I whirled around and walked away from him, hearing that he tried to come after me when Martin stopped him.

"Leave her, Joe." he warned him, having em keep walking and try to tell myself that this was some kind of ride nightmare. That my brother did not kill someone, that he was not going dark on me with his thoughts and heart.

So why wasn't I waking up?


	36. Chapter 36

"Come on, Jemmie. Open the door." I was still pacing back and forth in my own room, the door locked and my own mind was still going on overdrive with the fact that my brother killed somebody. This was not like him, not the brother I grew up with and played with as children. No, he was someone else that I despised and hated. This is what I feared would happen to either one of us, losing ourselves in the war and no longer being the same person that we are when we entered the army. Well, I knew we were going to change, but not like this.

"Jemmie, please open the door. I wanna talk to you." Joe pleaded against the door, tapping it with his knuckles as I was still walking around my couch now in the sitting room. I was trying so hard not to yell at him from what I saw on his jacket sleeve. Since we left the camps, I knew he wasn't the same. He morphed and changed into something that scared me whenever I would look at him.

"Listen, I didn't kill him. That was Sisk, I swear." I froze in my walk on the hardwood floor, the freezing of the vibrations that was giving off with my army boots rang throughout the room and into the hallway, which was why Joe stopped tapping the door and I could hear his own footsteps on the other side of the wooden frame.

"Jemmie, let me tell you what happened, okay? Please let me in." He pleaded in more of a softer manner, and I closed my eyes in defeat and sadness. I knew I owed him enough to hear him out and get some kind of explanation, but I was still hesitant to do so. Slowly I walked over to the door, unlocking it and opening the door slowly. Joe was there in front of me, not moving at all and his hands were fidgeting with his army pants at his sides. I didn't move either, not wanting him to come in yet or try to get into my space. So I kept one hand on the door handle and the other on the frame to block him from coming in, my eyes keeping the same intense stare that I've had on my face for the past hour that I've locked myself in my room.

"You didn't kill him?" I asked though my voice was still low and threatening, seeing him shift uncomfortably in his spot in front of me as I searched his eyes to see if he was going to tell me the truth.

"I tried to….but Sisk took the shot." Joe explained to me, his voice was a bit on the edge of gravel and uncertainty. I eyed him, seeing that this too was making him feel a bit off. I wrapped my fingers around the door frame.

"Who was he?" I asked him coolly, my eyes going back to the jacket sleeve and seeing the blood there and I instantly looked away. It was too much to look at, at least to me it was.

"A German Officer," Joe explained, having me cringe and squeeze the frame tightly in my fingers, "He worked at one of the camps and I was tipped by someone where he lived."

"And what were you doing to prove by killing him?" I asked him carefully, trying so hard not to scream at him at how stupid this was and how he was practically asking to get himself killed. And Officer? Was he out of his mind this time?

"What?" He asked, not getting what I was asking him.

"Why did you go after him, Joe." I asked him again, changing the phrasing but keeping the same question on my tongue. Joe then realized what I was saying, shifting a bit in his spot in front of me and giving me an intense stare. He knew where I wanted to take this conversation, and he was about to be stubborn.

"Because of what he did to those people in those camps. He killed them all, Jemmie." Joe countered with me, his voice was still low enough for just me to hear but I could tell the pain there in his voice.

"So you decided to go and get even with someone who was just taking orders?" I argued with him, seeing him shake his head and I shoved myself away from him with my hand that was on the door and I walked back to the sitting room. Joe followed me this time, but hearing his footsteps give a stomp or two showed that he was not liking how I was talking to him.

"That's not what this was, Jemmie." Joe tried to reason with me, but I whirled around again and I jabbed him with my finger into his chest.

"No, this is exactly what this is, Joe. You are trying to get back at someone who was only taking orders from someone else, maybe he had no idea what the fuck was going on!" I argued with him now, the both of us were close enough where I could tell this was about to be beyond real as an argument.

"You defending him?!" Joe asked with his voice going a bit louder.

"I will always defend you, Joe. You're my brother and I love you to death, but Goddamnit this was the stupidest thing you would have ever done in your life!" I screamed at him, hearing nothing else, but my voice ringing out along the walls of the room and Joe staring at me with wide eyes. I haven't yelled at him this bad since France when I called him out on his attitude to Webster. After I said that to him, I felt myself no longer completely angry with him but now just in more pain that I thought I would, since this was my own twin brother that I was yelling at. I hated this, beyond hating this as the anger was coiling up around me again.

"Joe you're…..you're not the same brother I grew up with. You've changed, and I hate it." I confessed to him in such a sorrowful tone that it sounded like I was being stabbed over and over again in the heart from what he did without telling me a single thing about it.

"Jemmie….I'm still your brother. You know that right?" He asked me, with some hope back in his voice though it was still sounding like he was about to break. From what I told him, how he changed in front of me and I hated it, it sounded like it was making him feel bad from what he was doing to me. I shook my head slowly, seeing the pain in his eyes.

"Honestly, Joe? I don't even know who you are anymore." I confessed back in such a harsh whisper that it felt like I stabbed him in true heart from how I said it, seeing the color on his face fade from what I said and I just sunk onto the couch, feeling it sink in a bit before. I hid my face in my hands, not wanting to see the pain on his face any more from the truth I told him. I just breathed in and out slowly, though my hand started to twitch and I had it rest on my kneecap now. For a second I didn't hear him walk over, nor did I feel the couch dip when he sat next to me, but it was when he grasped my shaking hand in his own that I finally looked up and over at him with glossy eyes, seeing him hold my hand that was riding out the seizure slowly. He said nothing at first, but only sat there with me and I only breathed in and out unevenly.

"I never meant to change, Jemmie," He explained in his more soothing fashion, though I stayed still and said nothing as his thumb that was on top of my hand started to rub the skin there, "I was angry for what he did, what they did, to our people."

"I'm mad too, Joe. But I wasn't going to let it consume me." I replied back, seeing him eye me now with the hurt still in his eyes.

"You think it consumed me?" Joe asked me carefully, no longer defensive but curious.

"I think it was about to," I replied back, seeing him think to himself for another moment or two. I hated thinking about it, how my brother was morphing into someone that I was not familiar with. I then felt him leaned his body against my own, our shoulders touching and there was a softness about the both of us again.

"I was ordered to go and kill him, Jemmie. This wasn't personal." Joe reassured me, having me shake my head against his as we were sitting on the couch together.

"It seemed like it though," I muttered back at him. I didn't want to talk anymore, it felt like it was too much for me to yell and teach him over and over again. It was too exhausting at this point, and all, I wanted him to do, was see what he was doing and see that it was killing him from the inside out. I then felt Joe rest hit forehead against my shoulder, breathing out slowly and having me tense up next to him as he still held my hand. I have missed these times together, Joe and I just being close and not having shame about it. But it was in this moment when I felt him become more vulnerable in front of me, exposing himself in a raw manner that he would never show to the rest of the men.

"I'm so sorry, Jemmie." Joe said into my shoulder, seeing that I was still hurting from what he did and I just leaned my head against his shoulder, no longer angry with him but just glad that he knew where I was coming from. I could only be angry with him for so long and lash out at him for far too long before he would have enough from me. He could take it from the others in our group, but not from his sister. I just kissed his head that was close to me, feeling him squeeze my hand in his.

"Don't ever scare me like that again, Joseph Liebgott." I urged him against his skin with my lips, and the conversation was over and down with. I had no energy left with the fight with him, because he knew what he did and he was already breaking down in front of me because of it.

"I promise I won't Jemmie."

* * *

><p>More days came and went, and the town was becoming more of our home and less of a place we were occupying. Winters was trying to keep us busy, running drills and getting us all training for when we reach the Pacific and help with those boys. I was still on the fence whether or not I was going on the boat with the men or going on the boat back home. Eugene wanted me to go home so that I wouldn't get hurt anymore, yet I was still holding onto the hope that I would go with the men and protect them some more. It sounded selfish on my end, where I was coming from, yet I didn't want it any other way.<p>

Joe and I never talked about the incident with the Officer, though Webster pulled me aside and told me what happened from his point of view, He could tell Joe was coming from a bad place and this was eating him up inside, though Webster tried to stop him and have him think. Sisk was just reluctant too, though he was the one who pulled the ultimate trigger when Joe only sliced him. Webster reassured me that it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Thank God for Webster, and for how he was always trying to be the peacemaker. We both were peacemakers, and I think he needed to be my own moral compass at that point than the other way around.

One of the colder nights in the summer, I was going out on a walk to go and find Eugene and spend some time with him, shoving my book that I was holding my jacket, right on my chest since there was no other place to have it in. The stars were out that night, and we were getting reports of other Companies coming into the other local towns nearby that too were deserted and also being stuck because they didn't have enough points to send them home. We would take jeeps back and forth for supplies and information, not to mention visit other men from other companies since we were getting so bored and restless. I was walking along the streets when I saw Grant pull up in a jeep with one other private in his jeep in the back.

"Sergeant Liebgott, you need a lift to the other Company for supplies?" Grant asked me, having me see him look over at me with his big eyes and one hand on the wheel. I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't know what I needed since I left my satchel back at the office and I was just in my own uniform.

"I don't see why not. Better than walking around and freezing my ass off." I replied back, hopping into the jeep next to him and we rode off down the paved road.

"Figured you needed some stuff, and I'm bored." Grant explained as I grinned at him, seeing us leave the cool town and going into darkness. As we drove, I looked up at the stars and I saw the trees passing by in such a fast pace as the wind dusted off on my face, having me pull my jacket closer to my chest and close my eyes. For a some reason, I picture I was back at the Bay, the stars there were clouding my mind like a drug and how I could hear the waters of the beaches and bay in my head. I missed home far too much, seeing the colorful buildings around me and hearing the voices of my neighbors, the hot summers and cool winters, warm rain touching my skin and the fog in the early mornings. I wanted to be home.

It was decided.

"Jem, hey, wake up Jem." Grant shoved me gently, having me blink and rub my eyes. I must have fallen asleep on the ride since we were now at a dead stop and he was looking right ahead of us. We were on the side of the road, another jeep was there and two bodies were on the floor. I froze in my spot in the jeep, seeing another soldier standing in front of the other jeep with a pistol in hand and he was obviously drunk. I could see it in his face and how he was standing, Grant getting out of the jeep and I blinked a few times in the jeep, not wanting to move.

"You okay, Mac? You need some help?" He asked the soldier now, who was now looking at him and holding the pistol like it was some kind of celebratory stick, not as a weapon.

"They wouldn't give me any gas. Krauts! I tried to explain….this fuckin' limey wouldn't listen." I looked over to where he was pointing, seeing the dead body and then Grant looking over at me for a brief moment.

"Jem, check him for me." He said in a low tone as he focused back on the drunken replacement in front of me. I immediately hopped out of the jeep, the private staying there as I jogged over to the English soldier. As I walked over to the body, I could see the drunken soldier watch me, giving me the infamous chill down my spine being watched in such a manner that it made me sick. Grant saw him watch me, and as I squatted by the body and checked his pulse, Grant walked to stand in front of me and not have the soldier watch me anymore.

"I think he was a major…" The soldier trailed off, slurring his words.

"Look, private, we got a problem here." Grant stated to him. I looked for another pulse, but there was nothing on the body, he was along dead at this point. I was about to get up when I heard the soldier take a step towards me and I looked, seeing him give Grant big eyes of curiosity and having me get scared for him.

"Do you have any gas?" He asked Grant now.

"Why don't you give me your weapon?" Grant suggest him, reaching out with his hand for the soldier to drop the weapon off in and I watched too. The soldier could either do something stupid or be the better person. But how it was looking, he was about to make a stupid move.

"Well, I guess I'll use his jeep. I don't think he's gonna use it." The soldier replied in a drained out tone, walking away from us as I shot up from my spot. Grant took a few steps towards him now before he could go anywhere.

"Hold on a second, will ya?" He asked. And then it all went to hell, since the soldier shot back around and within a second Grant was shot in the head. Blood spurted from his head, his breath was lost and he went cold within a second after the shot. Grant fell to the floor, having me immediately run over to him and try to reach him.

"Grant!" I screamed out, seeing the blood already pouring out and then another gunfire went off. But it was on me, and I fell to the floor from the impact that it had on my chest. My head slammed into the gravel floor, and I was out cold.

Everything was dark.

* * *

><p>"What happened?"<p>

"She went over to help him and he shot her in the chest!"

"There's no blood, where's the blood?!"

"Something's on her chest! Look!"

I could hear voices coming in and out of my head as I was still somewhere in the darkness. But instead of feeling cold, like I thought I would, I felt warm all over. I was inside somewhere musky and warm my instead of outside in the summer cool night. Where the hell was I? Why was my chest hurting so bad? What was going on? Why wasn't I waking up just yet?

"Hold on, get me the scissors."

"Doc, you better know what you're doing."

"Just go check on Spina and make sure Grant's doing okay with the Doctor there, will ya? I'm not leaving Jemima here until I know she's okay." I could hear Eugene's voice in my head, and he sounded concerned. I was shot, but why wasn't I dead. I could feel my jacket being moved to the side and then hands touching my chest and collarbone gently to make sure nothing was broken. I knew those fingers, they belonged to Eugene and it was almost soothing for me to feel.

"Her dog tags and the book blocked the bullet." No wonder it was hard to breathe.

"Give it to me, we need to get the bullet off her chest and the tag or she won't breathe."

"Shit, she's already bruising there." I could feel something being moved off my chest delicately, and once it was off, since it had so much force down on my bone there, I felt my lungs already trying to work again and it felt like someone was trying to push down on my chest over and over. I breathed in, my lungs working again and my eyes shot open from the sheer force of my lungs working on overdrive.

Eugene was looking over me now, scissors in his hand he looked like he was about to cry. Spiers was next to him, looking at me too with concern and he was holding one of my hands in his, rubbing my hand with the other and giving me a soothing feeling. I blinked a few times, though I was breathing in and out like I was in shock and I started to cough. My chest was hurting so bad right now, the same spot that I was shot at.

"Easy, Jem. Take it easy," Spiers explained to me as I was trying to sit up. But Eugene held me down with a bit of force, and I groaned in pain in the chest as he rubbed my hair with his fingers to calm me down. I was still trying to gasp for some air since my lungs felt like new all over again and my chest cavity felt like it was bruising beyond words.

"What…what happened?" I gasped out, looking at the both of them at the same time.

"You were shot at." Eugene explained calmly, though I could see in his eyes that he wanted to rip something apart. This must have been a sight for him, seeing his girlfriend on a table who almost died from a gunshot wound. Speaking of which, who was it that I was not dead yet?

"And I'm not dead?" I asked in a more hoarse tone, Spiers looked over at Eugene, whom then reached down for something on the table next to my body and I saw him lift it up. I sighed in relief and in shock, it was one of my books. The same book that I shoved into my jacket for safe keeping. There was a large hole in the book, the hole went right through the cover and the pages in a clean shot….a hole big enough for a bullet….

"The book?" I asked him in disbelief, thinking how odd it was that a book spared my life from being taken within an instant. What a unique object to protect me. But Eugene shook his head and grabbed another item, dangling it in front of my face and having me look with big eyes. My dog tags, in which the top one had a huge dent within the metal and the bullet was still in there. Not only did the book slow down the bullet or piercing me, but the dog tags protected me from being hurt. No wonder my chest was in fire and feeling like a bitch. Like I was kicked hard in the chest by a horse. Slowly, I got myself to sit up, grabbing the tags from Eugene's hands and Spier's releasing my hand so I can look at the tags some more that spared my life. I touched them with my fingers, Eugene's hands going to my back and helping me stay up on the table as my breathing was coming back to normal, though my chest was still burning in pain.

"I'll get you some aspirin." Eugene explained to me as he was about to move away from me when I shot a look over at him. After seeing the tags in my hands and along my fingers, it all came back to me within a moment like a freight train and I was now shocked and worried beyond words.

"Where's Grant?" I asked him, seeing him freeze and look over at Spiers for some help. I looked at Spiers took, seeing him take in a breath. That was not good, seeing the hesitance on the confident Captain's face.

"He's being looked at by the Army Doctor next door." Spiers explained to me calmly, but I then shot him a concerned look. I then moved to get my legs off the table before the both of them could stop me, having me stand up again and find my balance.

"I wanna go help him." I said to them both, seeing Eugene shake his head to start arguing with me. I felt fine, though my chest still shirt, I wasn't dead or wounded. I was still alive and I had a job to do: to help Grant.

"You need to rest." Spier explained to me, but I looked over at me with determination on my face.

"I'm fine, sir. I saw what happened to Grant and I want to help him." I explained coolly, since I was far beyond done with being coddled or looked after at this point. I watched Grant getting shot in the head and I wanted to be there to see what was going to happen to them. Even though I barely missed death myself, that did not mean that Grant was going to have the same fate. Spiers and Eugene looked at each other one more time, and I would think they got the idea at this point that I was no longer going to be submissive to the pair of them.

"He's over here, come on." Spiers said to me, walking away from the both of us and going out the door. I looked back at Eugene, seeing him watch me up and down and look like he saw almost saw his girlfriend die in front of him. Oh crap, that made me feel worse now. He thought of the worst, and yet here I was being all selfless. I felt like shit then, grabbing his hand in mine as he placed the book on the table and was still looking torn up.

"Eugene…" I started, but he then moved over and gave me a hug, a firm one even though I was still trying to get my own breathing back to normal. I clutched him back, wanting him to feel through my hugging that I was beyond fine and nothing was going to happen to me. This was another attempt of Eugene losing me, another death scare.

"You scared me," Eugene said against my skin as we hugged there for another moment or two before I squeezed him tighter, but at this point, I was wheezing in and out from my breathing. Eugene pulled away from me now, framing my face gently in his hands and having me see how dark his blues eyes were again. I kissed him squarely on the mouth, holding it there and feeling his fingers curl slightly into my neck as he kissed me back and pulled away.

"You okay?" He asked me, having me finally breathe out unevenly and nod my head. WE both then took hands, no long wanting to talk about it at that moment since we had another person to talk about to take care of.

Grant.

* * *

><p>Spiers was holding his hand, rubbing the back of it with his fingers as Eugene was holding up the glass tube with the red liquid, IV going and I was standing next to the doctor there. He was examining the head wound in silence as we all waited, having me wish I knew what to do since I was a Nurse. But I didn't have enough experience in that friend, when it came to head wounds. This was far beyond me since I was only a nurse and not a doctor. We all were waiting on pins and needles, but the doctors sighed in defeat as he was looking at Grant's head, who was still unconscious.<p>

"Jesus." He muttered.

"What is it?" Spiers asked him as the doctor moved away from the Grant, sighing as he was about to light a cigarette.

"He's not gonna make it." I looked at him in shock now, since this was not good news. No, this can't happen, not to Grant of all people.

"You can't operate?" Eugene asked from the other side of the table.

"You'd need a brain surgeon. And even if you had one, I don't think there's any hope." The doctor replied in a snort. I cringed, looking back at Grant and placing my shaky hand on his shoulder in hopes that he would feel that and know that we were fighting to keep him alive. I suddenly looked at Spiers, seeing the drive on his face. He then pointed over at Talbert with his finger.

"Find the shooter alive, help me!" He said to Talbert as he grabbed one end of the stretcher and Talbert on the other end. They lifted him from the ground, Eugene staying close with the IV and myself on the other side with my hand holding Grant's. We were now in a mission to find a way to save our fellow soldier, and I wanted to be able to help out in any way that I could.

"We're gonna go find a brain surgeon."

* * *

><p>Spiers knocked on the door at leaf three times with his gun in hand, as Eugene, Talbert and I sat with the still unconscious Grant in the back of the jeep. It was in the wee hours of the morning and we were told that a German surgeon was in another town closely, which lead us to his door. I myself was still trying to recover from what happened to me, my berthing was still erratic and my chest was now bruising from the bullet hit, but my mind was now on Grant. However, my breathing was getting raspy and uneven from time to time. Eugene looked over at me then as Spiers tapped on the door one more time, Eugene's face knitted in concern now.<p>

"You okay?" He asked me, though I nodded my head and I breathed out unevenly through my nose.

"It's hard to breathe," I admitted to him, but then the door opened and we saw the German citizen and Spiers talk to each other for a bit. Spiers was on the edge, the gun in hand and looking more like a threat as the man walked over to the jeep now to see Grant's body there on the jeep, face covered in gauze.

"If you're going to shoot, shoot. If not, put the gun away." The doctor wanted him in his thick German accent. Speirs, with much reluctance, placed his gun back in his side but was still giving him a hard look.

"Get in the jeep, now." Spiers ordered to him with his authoritative tone now, though the man was now looking at Grant's face with a knit of concern there in his eyes.

"What happened to him?" He asked Eugene.

"He was shot in the head," Eugene replied.

"Half an hour ago." Spiers added with his voice was less threatening and more sincere. I looked at him in curiosity now as he was analyzing my friend's head wound, "Come on."

"If you want him to live, help me. First, by putting that away," the doctor instructed him, pointing to the gun and I saw Spiers then look at both Eugene and I to see what we wanted him to do. We both nodded our heads then, seeing him sigh and place the gun in his holster and then move to get into the driver's seat of the jeep.

"Let me drive. We'll get there faster," he instructed Spiers, who nodded in agreement, but then looked over at Talbert and I in the jeep.

"Talbert and Liebgott, get back to the town and get some rest." he instructed the both of us, though I shook my head from the thought of leaving Grant behind.

"I want to help." I pleaded with him.

"You took a bullet to the chest and almost died, you need to be resting. That is an order." Spiers said it in such a commandment and I bit my lip, seeing his higher superiority over me now and that I had no choice but to go along with it. He was still a Captain, my Captain, and I had to remind myself that over and over. I reluctantly exited the jeep with Talbert, looking over at Eugene and seeing him give me one nod of the head to show that he too wanted me to rest and calm down a bit from what happened. They had to be right: I literally took a bullet to the chest and survived and the last thing, that I needed, was to push it more and have another seizure. I smiled shortly back at Eugene as the jeep moved down street, leaving me there with Talbert and we were just trying to breathe in and out after what happened. I closed my eyes in defeat.

God, let Grant live.


	37. Chapter 37

Talbert and I walked down the hall back to the main lobby where we would hold most of our meetings, along with where we watched the reel weeks before hand. I was still trying to get my own chest back to normal though the bullet, that was blocked by both my book and the dog tag, made it hard to breathe again. The bruise was growing the more I walked, though my mind was more occupied with Grant and how he was holding up. With a German surgeon now working on him to keep him alive, and with Eugene and Spiers looking after him now. I had nothing else to do, but to find something to do and rest.

Rest, I didn't want to rest.

The lobby lights were on, and I heard nothing at first as Talbert and I walked into the large room. It still looked pristine enough, our boots echoing in the room when we were standing there in the middle. We both passed, seeing and hearing nothing at all between the two of us, or anywhere in the damn area.

"Where is everyone?" I asked in a grunt as I placed my hand back on my chest to feel the pressuring pain that was evident there.

"Out trying to find that Bastard who shot both you and Grant." Talbert muttered back at me, though his eyes were dead ahead as he then looked over next to me, seeing my hand on my chest and how I was getting some pain in my face.

"You okay there, Jem?" He asked me, his face knitted with concern as I was then coughing up a bit because now it was hurting to just breathe normally. He grabbed my arm then pulling me along as there was a small circle of armchairs in the middle of the room.

"Sit down a sec, I'll get you water." He instructed me gently, but it sounded a bit gruff still given the situation. I sunk into the chair now, trying to breathe out again and still feeling the pain there against the skin and the bones. He walked off, probably to another room to get me a drink of water in a glass. Even though it was quiet, I could still hear the gunshot ringing out in my ears and hear how his body hit the ground in a heap.

Leaning back against the chair, I closed my eyes for the briefest moment before I could hear someone was walking down the hallway. I cracked an eye open, wondering who it was that was coming down the hall. It was none other than Martin, whom already looked out of breath himself with Perconte on his heels behind him. They both looked like they were running around looking for something important…or someone. Once they were close enough in order to see me, they both made a beeline for me. I was about to get up, but when I inhaled the pain was still there.

"Oh mother fucker…." I groaned as I finally got myself up from slouching in the chair. They both stood in front of me, and I could see the anger in Martina's face which was no big surprise and the small ounce of shock with Perconte on his own mug of a face.

"You okay, Jem? We just heard what happened." Perconte explained as I moved my hand from my chest and eyed the both of them.

"Who told ya?" I asked them both. But they didn't say anything, only looking at each other to see who was going to break it first. When I heard another pair of footsteps behind me, knowing that it was Talbert, I saw both of their eyes look over at him as Talbert stood next to me with the glass in hand. It was the way they looked at him that made me then sigh as they didn't have to tell me the answer.

"Thanks, Talbert." I grumbled to him as he handed me the glass.

"They had every right to know, Jem." He countered back with me as I took a long drink, seeing both Perconte and Martin look back at me as I was getting the liquid down my throat and not choke.

"You hanging in there?" Martin asked me, his voice was still gruff, but it was also a tad softer because of how he was looking at me.

"I'll live, but I'll have a nasty bruise on my chest for the next week or two. I'm more worried about Grant." I explained to him, seeing him give me a small smile to show that he approved of what I told him. But the optimism was lost in my face when I mentioned Grant, having me suddenly have a wave of sadness come over me then and release another shake breath with a grunt of pain right after that.

"Did they find the guy yet?" I asked them both in a low tone now, since the drunken soldier was now in my head. His face was there, how nonchalant he was when he shot Grant and how he drove off without a second thought on his mind.

"We didn't, no. But the rest of the guys are lookin'." Martin answered, but I still felt a bit of pain there in my chest, now for Grant and less to do with the bruise there, "Where's Doc?"

"With Spiers taking care of Grant." Talbert answered for me as he then got into a chair next to me on my left, rubbing his own eyes in agitation and leaning back though I was still staying up in my chair upright.

"And he's okay with you being here?" Perconte asked in a careful manner though I shot a look over at him. Martin shifted uncomfortably next to him, crossing his arms and giving a nervous cough since he knew what Perconte was talking about, as did I. I didn't think he would, but he did.

"You thought he was going to hold my hand?" I asked him back, almost in a sharpness of a tone. He then saw where I was going with this, and how I was not easily swayed with. Martin's eyes went big for a moment and then Peconte coughed to break the already awkward moment when we heard another couple of boots walking down the hall over to us. Perconte and Martin moved out of the way for me to see who it was.

"Jesus Christ, Jemmie." Joe was walking over in a brisk manner to me, clearly not liking what he was seeing and what he heard about me. I had no energy to fight him about the issue since Webster was right behind him and he looked just as pissed as Joe did. Joe stood right in front of me, having me see that he had no idea if he should hug me or just leave me be. I looked between the both of them and how they too looked like they were out of breath and angry about the whole situation.

"You didn't find the guy who shot Grant yet?" I asked them both in curiosity, though Joe was still staring at me and seeing me in pain from the bruise there on my chest. I wanted to hear about the guy, not wanting the attention back on me.

"I think I was more concerned about my sister getting shot at." Joe replied back coolly, though I knew that he wasn't doing that straight to me. He was mostly mad about the soldier who was doing the shooting, he wasn't mad at me. That much I could see, but I still eyed him to silently tell him to calm down.

"How did you even not get wounded?" Webster asked me, the mere mystery of me being spared from a bullet killing me. I reached into my jacket pocket, pulling out the infamous dog tags that were taken off of me by Eugene and I tossed them to Webster. He caught them in midair, looking at the dent there in the metal and Joe looking too. Martin and Perconte watched with their eyes as I leaned back in the chair again, taking another drink from the glass and feeling my breathing was slowly coming back together again.

"Damn, who knew that you can take a bullet twice." Perconte said in a remark, and for the first time that night I grinned.

"The first time being a helmet and now a dog tag, I'm luckier than anything." I replied in a huff as another gush of pain was hitting my chest. I squirmed a bit in my chair from the pain as Joe looked back over at me. I looked back, seeing the flare of hate in his eyes from that fact that I was in pain and someone else made that happen. He walked over to me, Webster still holding my dog tags, and he knelt down in front of me. There was still hate in his eyes, but it was now looking more worried from seeing me in pain there.

"What can I get ya, Jemmie?" He asked me, wanting to be the protective brother again and no longer the hateful brother. I took out a deep breath before answering him, though my voice went low now with how I was feeling about the situation.

"Asprin…and that soldier's head on a spike." I grumbled out to him. For some reason, though, even in the shitty situation that it was, Joe gave me a small smirk on his face. Through the battered brown hair and the look of age on his face, when I saw that smirk, it reminded me of the plenty of times we would smile at each other as teenagers or even kids. He finally smiled, after what seemed like weeks, and it made the pain in my chest go away a bit longer now. I have missed this Joe, even if it was him getting hotheaded for my own good.

"Holy shit." I heard behind Joe from Martin, who was looking over his own shoulder and we all looked too. I stayed still in my spot on the chair as we heard now a swarm of boots hitting the marble floor and walking over in our direction. We all looked, seeing most of Easy Company now coming in what looked like a pack, all huddled together and looking rather grave about something, or someone whom hey were pulling by the straps of his jacket in a threatening manner. I could see Babe, Malarky, Christenson, Popeye, and others within the group of men there. He was handled by Bull and was almost dragged by his feet at this point, but as soon as I saw his face my own heart stopped beating and my face was now feeling so cold over and over again. It was him.

The drunk soldier.

But now he was no longer drunk, it was like he was now afraid of going to be on his deathbed. And who would blame him, since every member, that was in that huddle around him, looked like they wanted to kill him because of what he did to Grant and I. I could feel the hate radiating off of each one of these men, but they were escorting him straight into the room to my right that was left wide open. What were they going to do with him there? I wanted to know, but my tongue was stuck to the top of my mouth as they were walking by with him. He saw me, eyes going wide and making me feel a cold sweat on my brow. As soon as we locked eyes, Joe shot up and blocked him from my sight, protecting me once again from being abused in any way, shape or form.

"Get him in the room," Martin said to Bull, whom roughly shoved him along as the man was still eyeing me in pure shock. I eyed him back, seeing the other Easy members follow him into the room, all but one. Luz was towards the back of the group, and he stayed behind as I saw both Perconte and Martin walk into the room now both were just as angry as the rest of the men.

"Heya, Jem." Luz greeted me, though he kept his eyes on the soldier who was being shoved in a chair. I was about to get up when Joe placed his hand on my shoulder.

"You stay here. I don't want ya in there." Joe wanted me slowly, his eyes on the man and they were filled with hate. I looked up at him now, wondering why he wouldn't want me in there.

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't want ya to see." He merely replied, walking away and closing the door behind him now. I was left in the room with Talbert and Luz, the three of us were watching in silence for a moment or two through the glass doors and hearing the men started to punch the soldier, one by one and hearing him cry out. Talbert did an intake of breath and I squinted from hear the first blow.

"Where did you find him?" Talbert asked as Luz was pulling a round table over to the middle right in front of me and then dragging another chair to sit there. He looked out of it took as he got out his cigarettes and placed one on his lips.

"He was stopped by his Captain, then Lipton picked him up and dumped him with us before he went off to check on Grant with Winters." Luz explained as he lit his cigarette and inhaled. he shaved, but his hair was once again getting long enough to be floppy, though his face too looked uneasy about the whole situation and no longer light. Luz's gaze went over to him, in which I was still sitting in the chair and squinting from time to time from the massive bruise there on my chest. But it was when I looked down when I saw that my chest was swelling, from where the bullet hit. This wasn't a good sign, since I didn't expect swelling this bad. So it was then I reached up carefully, touching my skin with my fingers underneath the skin and I gasped out in pain. Both Talbert and Luz shot up, seeing me in pain. I thought it was a massive bruise that was beyond normal, but from what I was feeling against the skin, it was a fracture.

I fractured a bone.

"What happened?" Talbert asked me this time, having me look up at the both of them.

"Sternal fracture, not even that since it's barely a fracture." I explained roughly, though I touched it once more to make sure it was what I thought it was. Once I made contact with it again, I cried out in pain and I slammed my fist over my mouth from the pain there.

"Don't touch it anymore, Jesus!" Luz said in horror as I pulled my fist from my mouth.

"I need ice….ice to get the swelling down." I explained to him, seeing Talbert shoot up from his chair and rush out of the room once again as Luz then reached into his pocket, fishing around a bit before pulling out a blue pill bottle.

"Here's some aspirin." he said to me, taking out two pills and then handing them to me. I swallowed them, hearing another round of the men hitting the soldier over and over, all of them yelling at him and asking why he did it.

"How is it that have you have pain killers?" I asked him coyly, though he then gave me a nervous grin.

"I was gonna give it back, I had to borrow it for my hangover the other day since I drank too damn much." Luz explained to me roughly, having me grin at him and then hear another blow to the guy's head. I looked over at the door, only seeing through the glass some of the backs of the men in there, nothing more. I coughed again, the pain was still there from trying to breathe in and out.

"Where's Doc when you need him." Luz said in a worried manner as he was watching me getting my breathing back to normal. I grinned from hearing him mention Eugene, and I knew he did that on purpose since he had some kind of inkling about the pair of us. He grinned back at me as Talbert jogged back into the room, a towel filled with ice in his hands and he gave it to me.

"Thanks, Talbert, you're a gem." I thanked him as I got the towel with ice on my chest and felt some relief there. He grinned at me nervously, sitting back down in his chair and sighing in relief.

"Let's play some cards, come on." Luz urged us, having me see that he was trying to get our minds back on something simple instead of what was going on behind the closed doors. I sat up to play, though the aspirin was making the pain more bearable at this point, but now I was conceded about the boys in there with the soldier. Why are they going to kill him? How far were they going to go with him until it was too far? I wanted to ask, hell I wanted to see. But for some reason, I stayed in the chair and not moved one bit from it. Talbert and Luz played a few rounds and I just sat there in the chair, icing my chest and feeling the swelling dying now and my head getting a bit heavy from the sheer energy loss. But it was not enough to get me to sleep, since I was now wanting to go into the room and see what they were doing to the man in there.

"Jesus, get me another hand," Luz said with a grunt as he threw the hand he had down on the table. Talbert shuffling a bit but with roughness in it. I could hear it in how he was handling the cards, he was worried too. I looked back at him, Luz eyes Talbert as he was shuffling, "I don't know who's taking a bigger beatin': me or him."

"Wanna play a different game?" Talbert asked him, though he was still occupied with something else.

"No, just shuffle the cards and play the game." Luz advised him, though Talbert was still agitated with how he was handling the cards and the knitted look on his brow, "You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm alright." He replied back to Luz, though he looked back at the scene one more time behind us,

"You wanna go and join in?" Luz asked suspiciously from his spot across from him, not moving a bit as I looked over at Talbert too.

"I should go in there and stop this." I could hear the pain in his voice, and Luz just gave him a reassuring look to both tell him that it was okay and he didn't have to do anything at all.

"Floyd, let's just play cards, alright?" He said carefully now, Talbert nodding his head as he was dealing out the cards between them. I reached over and squeezed his arm in my hand, seeing him do nothing over to me but then again he was still arguing about it in his head as they went to start a new game. They were about to when the double doors, that were coming into the room, opened, revealing both a pissed Spiers with a pistol in hand and Eugene right behind him, looking less angry but still on the edge. Talbert, myself and Luz got up from our spot and I placed the towel of ice on the floor as Spiers looked to the three of us.

"Where is he?" He asked calmly.

"How's Grant?" Talbert shot back with his own question.

"Where is he?" Spiers asked again, walking over to the door a bit.

"Is he going to be okay?" Talbert asked once again, not wanting to answer the captain back.

"WHERE IS HE?!" Spiers yelled now, glaring at the three of us now for some kind of answer. Talbert looked at the same door where the men where, Spiers looking too and he started walking over there. I was about to join him when Eugene already walked over to me, lacing our fingers together and seeing the wet patch on my chest, getting the notion that I had to ice my chest and he was about to panic.

"What is it?" He asked me in a hushed tone as I heard Spiers opening the doors to go inside with Luz and Talbert behind him.

"Sternal fracture, but it's minor." I explained to him as he was eyeing my chest, but not in the way that would make the both of us blush. Eugene sighed, closing his eyes in defeat since I knew this whole night was going to be too much for him now. He must have been worn out to the point of passing out, not only from almost seeing his girlfriend die _again_, but then seeing another comrade with a brain injury. Poor Eugene, he didn't deserve this. I just pulled him close enough for me to kiss his hair, humming against his skin and then pulling away before we would get caught.

"Come on." I urged him, the both of us walking over to the other room. The sea of Easy Company men was crowding around the soldier, whom was sitting in a chair now in front of Spiers and was already beaten to a pulp. Eugene kept his hand closed around mine as we walked in, behind Spiers and next to Bull and Joe. They all were watching him now as Spiers was towering over him with his Captain stature back on him.

"Where's the weapon?" he asked in a staggered tone, trying too hard to control his anger. We all watched him as the soldier was still coughing and staggering in his breath, eyeing Spiers with his cool eyes.

"What weapon?" He gasped out, then receiving the butt end of a pistol to the face. The sound was loud, having some of me squint from the sound and my grip on Eugene tighten from the sheer thought of it all.

"When you talk to an Officer, you say 'Sir'." Spiers advised him in a cold tone, Joe next to me looking down at his boots and grimacing a bit from the sheer tone that Spiers gave. Eugene scooted closer to me now, but my eyes were on the soldier and seeing him look at all of us like he was about to see the end of his life. I had to remind myself that he was the one that shot Grant in the head, that shot me without a second thought to it, and just wandered off like it was nothing. That's what my brain was telling me, that he deserved this, but why was my own heart hurting for him? Even Babe looked squeamish as the soldier was now coughing again. It was when Spiers cocked his pistol that I looked over at him, wondering what he was doing and how this was going to solve anything.

Spiers then aimed, which made the rest of us back up a step or two after seeing the gravity of this situation. He was holding a loaded gun, barrel front, to a soldier's face. I pressed against Eugene, who placed his other hand on my arm to keep me there as some of the men chose to look away and the others looked right at the soldier now with hesitance. Wasn't he going to do this…was he? I wanted him to point it away, though the long the held it, the less convinced I was. He kept the gun aiming right at his head, and I could feel myself trembling now at the sheer thought that I would once again see someone get killed in front of me.

"Look away, Jem." I heard Eugene whisper to me urgently, having me slam my eyes shut and lower my head over to where his head was, our heads touching and he was still not moving. He didn't want me to see, not wanting to have another thing to dream about and wake up screaming too. Mere seconds went by, nothing happening and I wondered when I would hear the trigger being pulled.

But nothing came, and I opened my eyes slowly to see Spiers lowering the pistol and then looked back at me now. The hate was still there on his face, but why was he looking at me now? The soldier was gasping for both air and in a panic as Spiers eyed me up and down. It made me realize what he was doing, he was silently asking me if this was right. He knew I was the Moral Compass in the group, and now he wanted to use that on me. So I had to be the bigger person, shaking my head slowly at him. This was not the way to do it, not to me. No matter the fact that he did shoot at me and almost killed Grant, that he caused two Easy members harm without a second thought, he was still someone who deserved to have some kind of justice to him.

Spiers looked back at the soldier, who was softly laughing that he was not dead. Spiers wiped the butt end of his pistol, which was covered in blood, on the soldier's uniform and then moved away from him. We were all still quiet from what happened, not having the right words to say anything.

"Have the MPs take care of this piece of shit." Spiers instructed us as he moved back out into the first room where Luz was.

"Grant's dead?" Talbert asked one last time.

"No, Kraut surgeon says he's gonna make it." He replied back Talbert softly again before walking out of the room with the pistol still in his hand at his side. I sighed in relief as Joe grabbed the soldier roughly, getting him back up once again. Luz exhaled his cigarette and watched me as Eugene nudged me with his shoulder.

"Come on, let's head back to your room, okay?" Eugene urged me softly, having me nod and we both exited the room as they are getting ready to leave the room. We started to walk and Luz joined us.

"I don't wanna be a part of that shit." Luz commented, having me smile and nod in agreement.

"Come up with us, I can read us a book, okay?" I explained, seeing him smirk at me with the cigarette still between his teeth.

"Better than being around these guys, I swear."

* * *

><p>Luz fell asleep on my couch, softly snoring as I draped a blanket over him and got the cigarette from his fingers to squash it in the ashtray on the coffee table. After we came back to my room, the three of us lounged in the sitting room as I read some more from the T.S. Eliot book Eugene gave me, which was a nice change of pace compared to the previous event with the soldier. Eugene wanted me to rest, but I wanted to so something else than rest, since I would dream about being shot again.<p>

Walking back over to where I bed was, I saw Eugene already sitting on top of it, looking at my jacket that I draped off and I paused from walking, staying near the archway into the room to watch him. It was like Little Joseph all over again, how he was holding the jacket with pure curiosity on his face and his fingers going over the stitching of the fabric. But Eugene was looking at the bullet hole in the jacket, where I got shot, and I slowly walked over to him without making a sound. Just seeing the look on his face and how he looked confused as to why I was not dead, it made my heart ache for him.

"This should have….this should have killed ya." Eugene stated out in the open softly, not understanding the whole thing and I nodded in agreement, sitting on the bed across from him.

"It was the book that slowed the bullet," I explained to him, seeing him look at me with his eyes but he kept his head down on the jacket, "If it wouldn't have been for the book, I think I would have died or worse with the dog tags in my chest." Eugene slowly lowered my jacket onto the bed between us, seeing him then place his eyes once again on my chest where the injury was. I just waited there, not moving but just breathing again as he then pointed there.

"Let me see it." He said gently, though I knew he was silently ordering me. I had no need to argue with him since I have done it so many times in this war that I was fine. No, he had a right to see it since he was a fellow combat medic and my boyfriend. To be fair, I did put him on enough to get him to go crazy. So I lifted my shirt over my head slowly, though the blush and the thought of practically stripping in front of him were going to make me want to faint. I had to remind myself, he was looking at my wound, not at anything else….please for the love of God nothing else. I was never showing this much skin before in front of the boys or anyone in the war. Then again, when I almost died in Foye, they probably had to take some clothes off of me to get to the wounds, but not _all _my wounds. Thank God.

I sat there in front of him, in my brassiere and my pants, my hair framing my face in somewhat a messy state and I could already feel my skin getting hot in how his eyes got slightly big from what I did. Did he think I was simply going to just lift the area of my shirt for him to see? I should have done that, shit. Was he going to blush now, seeing me in my bra and my new exposed skin? I as expecting him to do so, but he didn't. Eugene was professional as he could ever be, scooting closer to me and having me suddenly wish I was fully clothed again. I wasn't big, but I was curvier because of the muscles I developed during the war. But that wasn't the concept that wanted me to cover up.

It was the scars.

The thick one along my hip bone to my midsection, along the side like a sword sliced me. The infamous scar that signified that I was almost lost in the elects of war. I hated that scar, it made me see myself as something was far from being pure and good. I had little scars here and there on my stomach and chest from the previous battles, but that one scar on my body made me hate myself when I looked in the mirror.

Eugene looked at the dark purple and blue shading on my chest, near my collarbone and how the middle of it was still a bit swollen from the bullet. He carefully reach out, though I stayed so still to not break the moment, and he touched the outlining bruising from the bullet and I could feel the hot skin on his fingertips touching my own. I shivered, trying not to show it in front of him and he then looked over at me with his dark eyes. They were still blue, a haunting blue that reminded me of the sky after a storm, near the dead of night and how beautiful it was to look at. That's what Eugene is, the after storm that was beautiful to look at.

"I'm going home." I said out of the blue to him, though my voice was soft enough to be heard between the both of us. His eyes softened a bit as he pulled his hand away from my now, the warmth was gone as he was reading my own brown eyes to make sure I was telling the truth. I just gave him a soft smile, thinking now it was a good time for me to tell him.

"You decided?" Eugene asked me, "When did you do that?"

"When I saw you after I woke up," I explained calmly, his eyebrow knitted together in confusion as to what I was trying to say, "When I saw your face, and how you were scared that I wasn't going to make it…I decided that I didn't want to do that to you anymore. You don't deserve to think that I'm dead all the time, Eugene. So I might as well go home and be safe, and no longer making you petrified for me."

I did feel bad, when I woke up and saw his eyes pouring into my own. He looked worried, scared shitless that I was once again gone and away from him. If there was one thing about this whole war that I wished I changed, it was the fact that I always scared him and made him think that I was dead. The bullet shot to the head at Market Garden, him seeing me with me Epilepsy for the first time in Bastogne, the Aid Station explosion in Foye, my seizure in front of him in Landsburg. So many times and incidents where I made him panic, gave him worry and pain, and Eugene Roe was the last person on this planet to deserve it.

"I admit I was scared for you, Jemima," Eugene explained to me softly now, after a moment of silence between us as I watched him with my own eyes, "But then again, I think I was less worried about you with this incident."

"Why?" I asked him, in disbelief, "I literally took a bullet to the chest."

"But you survived. You were still breathing when they found you on the road and brought you in," Eugene answered me calmly, "And besides, I kind of gave up in trying to protect you all the time because I know how you are when it comes to stuff like that." He gave me a small smile to show that he meant it. I grinned back at him, seeing that he was taking this beyond well and I had nothing else to be worried about.

"I never wanted you to give up on protecting me, it's what makes me like you so much," I stated back at him softly, seeing him slightly blush from what I told him.

"So you're okay with me leaving you, Eugene?" I asked him carefully as I reached over to grab my shirt to get it back on before this became even more awkward than it was.

"I just want you to be safe." Eugene simply answered though I grinned as I held the shirt in between my fingers.

"Haven't ya heard? I'm not safe at all, and yet you still like me." I reminded him, seeing him shake his head as I was about to get the shirt back on.

"That's where you're wrong." He stated as more of a fact.

"Oh really? How?" I asked him nonchalantly as I got my head on the shirt and my arms as well slowly.

"Well, I don't like you. I love you, actually." He stated in his bold tone, having me feel the blush come on me again on my cheeks and along my arms as I looked back at him now, shirt back on and seeing him slowly reach over to lace our fingers together gently and the warm glow on his face that he would have whenever we would be this close.

"You love me…scars and all?" I asked him coyly, seeing him roll his eyes and moved even closer to where our knees where touching and almost our noses at this point. Even with Luz dead asleep in the next room, I didn't mind doing this with Eugene now. I have missed this with him, out playfulness with each other and now we could just make each other content and happy like this.

"You're still beautiful to me, scars and all. And as my first real and serious girlfriend, I wouldn't trade ya for anything in the world." Eugene stated to me, having the blush flood my whole face and made me feel like a puddle on the bed. He could still see the hesitance in my face on how he was telling me I was beautiful, so he leaned in a kissed me softly on the lips and without hesitation there. I held the kiss, feeling him still holding our hands together in the middle of us. I always thought of myself as a strong person, but not as strong as Eugene was. He was stronger, 100 fold. He was willing to see past my flaws and my scars, seeing the radiance there when all, I could see, was the broken and the shattered. It was his soul that made him that way, how he viewed me and saw me as something worth saving, that made me fall in love with him over and over.

"Marry me." He whispered against my lips, having me grin as our lips were still touching.

"Yes," I said without a second thought, feeling his fingers going up my arms slowing in a torturing speed to touch my neck.

"I don't have a ring to give ya, not yet."

"I don't need one right now, I just need you." I reassured him as he framed my face in his medic hands and made me see how bright his eyes got within that moment. He asked me to marry him, and there was nothing else in the world that I wanted more than to marry him and call him mine. I no longer cared about the war, I cared for the man in front of me that wanted to call me his wife.

Within a chaotic world, this felt perfect.


	38. Chapter 38

It rained that night, though it was still summer there in Austria so the rain was rather cool instead of freezing. I left the window open, having us hear the rain softly play us a tune as we both were in bed together, my head on his chest and his chin on top of my own head, both of our arms wrapped around each other and just…listening. All, I could hear, was out breathing, Luz's deep breathing since he was still out of it and asleep on the couch, and the rainfall that was so soft it reminded me of the sprinkles of rain we would get at home from time to time.

It had to have been at least two in the morning, but I couldn't sleep. I was too occupied with the fact that Eugene asked me to marry him. A girl can dream all her life when she would be asked to be married, but for me, it was different. I never thought I would, not like the rest of the girls really. Most of my female friends were already married at this point and having their second or fourth kid, and then there was me. The spinster who was reading medical books and having seizures that were out of her control. I could say my chances of getting married, or even going on one solid date, was very slim to none.

Not that I'm putting myself down or anything that foolish, but I was more grasping the reality that I would be seen as undesirable to the other Jewish boys in town around my age. Before I left for the army, my brother and I weren't dating anyone serious or even thinking about marriage. That was taboo enough to be fair, and now I was engaged at the ripe age of 30. Eugene was younger than me, yet not it didn't seem like a bad thing. Now I was thinking about it, and it was making me paranoid. Was I ready for marriage?

"You okay?" Eugene mumbled into my hair, his arms around me were loose enough for me to move yet secure enough to keep me there with him. He could tell something was up with me, that I was thinking since I was far too still for my own good.

"Yeah." I merely replied though I knew that wasn't going to be bought by him.

"I can hear ya thinkin'." He commented. That made me grin into his shirt that he was wearing as we were still under the thin covers.

"It's nothing, _Liebste_." I reassured him soothingly, rubbing his arms with my fingers but not feeling him move against me.

"Well, I think it's somethin', since you're still awake. Tell me, I wanna hear." Eugene urgently gently, his accent ringing in the room. I snuggled into him more as he placed one of his hands on my short hair, touching my neck every once in awhile.

"I'm 30 years old," I explained to him calmly, though he said nothing and kept holding me there, "Which means, that most of my friends at home would be having their 4th kid by now."

"And yet you're over here fighting in a war in Europe," Eugene commented back in a smooth remark, having me feel his smile against my head and I grinned as well, "Since when do you compare yourself to other girls, Jemima?"

"I don't know…since now I guess." I admitted to him with a shrug of my shoulders. There was silence again between us, and the rainfall was making a rhythm against the rooftop and hitting the pavement beneath our window.

"Is this because I proposed to you?" He asked me sheepishly, having me suddenly fear that he was now scared that I was regretting what he did. I moved myself away from him, rolling over to be on my stomach and placing one of the pillows underneath me so I can face him more. The night light was giving him a tint of blue on his pale face, and his blue eyes were intensified as they were showing concern and fear. He stayed on his back, the covers moving away to show his shirt that he as wearing and the muscles he too developed over the period of the war.

"Don't think that I made a mistake when I said yes to you, Eugene Roe." I explained to him, reaching over to lace our fingers in the middle together as he watched me on his back, the black hair on the pillow shining in the night light.

"So you do wanna marry me?" He asked me, making sure that this was real enough. I grinned against the pillow that was next to my cheek, nodding my head and kissing his hand that was in my own. It seemed silly for him to wonder if it was all true, that I did want to marry him and be with him for the rest of our lives.

"I don't wanna marry anyone else, only you." I reassured him.

"Even if I not Jewish?" Eugene asked me, having my raise an eyebrow to him.

"You know that I was raised Catholic, right?" I asked him back, seeing him slightly smile nervously.

"I know that, but you know what I mean." He explained more, though I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Honestly, my folks are just glad that they found someone who is at least interested in me enough to marry me." I replied back to him, seeing another grin on his face as he shook his head in disbelief.

"That can't be true." Eugene said back in a light manner.

"I'm serious, as sad as it sounds, they had no real thought of me being married…just becoming a nurse for the rest of my life." I admitted to him in a light manner, though in the back of my mind it was haunting to think about. They did love me, I knew that for certain, but they never saw marriage as a way of life for me. They accepted that, but I didn't. A part of me, the part that was not consumed with books and my seizures and my fear of being so awkward, wanted to find someone who took me as I was and loved all of me.

"If it helps, my ma and old man honestly were trying to get me to go out on dates with girls…real nice ones they met at church. I never found a good enough one I guess," Eugene admitted to me softly against his own pillow, his one hand resting on his chest as the other was still holding my own hand on top of the bed.

"So that's why you chose to go into the army?" I asked him in a coy manner, seeing him eye me and then smirk. I giggled, seeing him shake his head from the answer.

"I don't even know why I joined anymore, but I'm glad I did," Eugene explained as he then thought to himself some more, "I wouldn't have done all I did when it came to being a Medic, met all the guys in Easy who turn out to be great friends….and wouldn't have met you." I blushed again when he mentioned that to me.

"You know what it was, that made me interested in you? Other than your looks," I shoved him when he commented on that and I heard him chuckle, "I think it was how kind you were to me, instantly going out of your way to helping me out that first day and getting my satchel looking like a proper one than total shit."

"None of the other nurses were kind to you?" I asked in confusion.

"Not in the way you were. They were kind, but they all gravitated to the good looking guys in the army, almost leaving me in the dust." Eugene explained in sincerity as I wrinkled my nose in the thought of him calling himself plain. I moved the pillow out of the way now, shuffling closer to him and I traced his nose, thin lips and jawline with my fingers, then going to the circles under his eyes and his forehead gently.

"I thought you were such a handsome, timid little thing," I said softly as he wrapped one arm underneath me and pulled me closer to him, his fingers spread against my skin under my shirt, "That's what I saw in you that I liked: you weren't cocky at all, nor were you loud or boisterous like the others in Easy. You were quiet, more reserved and careful in how you spoke."

"Such a babe magnet," he joked, then rolling to hover over me on the bed with both of his hands on the sides of my head, peering down at me as I traced his dog tags around his neck. I loved being there with him, seeing watching each other and no needing to say many things. We could say a lot to each other by just staring at each other and reading the eyes.

"You were to me," I admitted, seeing him peer at me and look down at me with the gentleness in his blue orbs that would make me feel so safe and secure in times of uncertainty and fear, "I just hope you know what you're going to get yourself into if you marry me. I'm a horrible cook," Eugene rolled his eyes and kissed my nose gently as I kept listing out things about me, "I almost burned down the house once by lighting the fireplace, I prefer to sleep in boxers and shirts and never in the nude, sorry about that."

"Are you trying to get me to take back the proposal?" Eugene asked in a coy manner, an eyebrow raised as I was looking up at him with a shrug in my shoulders, "Because it's not working. You're stuck with me, get over it."

"I'm just saying', you need to you know how I am if we are gonna get married and all. I'm cranky in the mornings, which means I'm going to need a lost persuasion to get out of bed." Eugene chuckled again at me as he moved the hair from my eyes and had his fingers linger near my forehead, next to the scar that I got from the bullet and the helmet incident in Market Garden.

"And if I go to the Pacific, are you willing to wait for me until I come home? So I can marry you properly and love you for the rest of our lives?" Eugene asked me, though it made me grimace a bit when he mentioned he would be going to the Pacific, and I wouldn't. Was he going to be okay there, without me there to watch over him.

"Although it's gonna kill me, I'll wait for you." I admitted to him, my voice was a bit on the wavy side since I was trying so hard not to break in front of him from the thought of being separated from him. Eugene could see this was killing me, his own eyes were showing a bit of pain there and he leaned down carefully to kiss me. I held it there, my hands were touching his shirt near his collarbone and his other hand cupping my cheek. I could feel it in this kiss: he was promising me that he would come back for me. I never doubted Eugene when it came to a promise. He always fell through, and this was another one he was making for me.

"I'm sorry." He murmured against my lips as I shook my head.

"No, I'm sorry for not being there with you, and acting like a total girl about the whole situation. It's just….I don't wanna be away from you." I confessed, seeing him search my eyes and then nodding his head in agreement.

"I don't wanna be away from you either, but it's not going to be that long. From what they told us about the war over there, by the time we get there it should be done." Eugene reassured me, trying to make me feel better about the whole thing, but it was still making me feel crappy.

"Yeah, and I hope they keep you in the hospital and nowhere near the battle." I muttered, closing my eyes with the mental pain and Eugene rolling off of me to go back on his back, though he kept his arms around me and pulled me close to him.

"And I thought I was the protective one." Eugene commented.

"I'm not really liking the fact that I have to watch the love of my life and fiancé go off to war while I am going home. I don't wanna let go of you yet." I explained into his arms as we held each other again on the bed. Eugene sighed, having me feel and that I was dumping this on him after having a blissful moment with him in our bed. Just trying to think about we were going to be separate from each other, it felt like heartache over and over against my chest.

"I promised you once, Jemima, that I would never let you go. You remember that?" He asked me against my hair once again, having me say nothing at first and remember the talk we had after our fight right after we entered the town and Eugene killed an officer to protect himself. He still loved me then, even when I was too prideful to let him protect me.

"I do." I replied.

"Please don't think I'm not going to try and get myself back home..back to you." Eugene pleaded to me, having me feel his hold on my tighten and how his voice too sounded like it was about to break, "If there's anything I'm going to fight for and that's worth any pain thrown at me, it's what we have together."

"I'm never letting you go, Eugene." I vowed to him then, sounding more like a child to be fair about the whole situation. How could I act like this with him, all because of the impending fear that I wouldn't see him again. It made me sick to my stomach to think that he could be taken from this world without me there to protect and shield him. Now I knew what he was going through in his own mind when it came to me, my seizures and near death experiences, almost made him go insane and become alone. It was my turn now to get a taste of the medicine, the taste of the unknown thoughts of someone's life hanging in the balance.

So I decided to not think like that anymore, looking up at Eugene again and see him watch me with his eyes. Leaning up, I kissed him softly on his lips, hearing him sigh and kiss me back. Our kisses were bolder, but it was building up slowly between the both of us like a small amount of force. He placed his hands back on my waist, though his fingers were touching my skin and making me feel the coil of warmth back within my. My fingers were back in his black hair, hearing him groan as I raked my fingers there and he pulled me closer to him.

We were both trying to breathe each other in and stay sane, only because we were scared that this wasn't going to happen again between us. It was a scary thought, that this could be the one moment that I had with Eugene before it could be blown off in the wind. At first, I thought he was going to be hesitant about it, but he ran his bare fingers against my skin along my lower back, though his kisses were still just as soft and careful. This was not going to be rushed, not in the slightest as he was hovering over me again, having me slowly place my hands on his waist as his kisses were once again on my neck and staying there. Damn, he was making it so hard to concentrate as I was trying to get his shirt over his head while he was sucking on my neck. He pulled away finally, throwing the shirt that I was riding on his back over his head in a huff and I giggled from his antic. His eyes were dilated, lips were red from the kissing and his hair was sticking out all over the place.

"Come here, _Liebste_." I urged him gently, reaching up with my hand and pulling him back down with a big grin plastered on his face. We both didn't care for the boundaries that were once up between us, not that night. I didn't care if it seemed desperate, or how I was urging for it from all the kissing we've shared in dark corridors or in our bed, but we both stopped caring and just became free with what we were feeling for each other. He slipped off my shirt and I got his own belt with my fumbling fingers. His own calloused fingers unhooked my bra carefully, though he was still kissing me so softly to distract me from being so scared and hesitant. The covers were out shield from the rest of the world, and I was still in wonder and awe on how Eugene Roe wanted to love me and show that to me that night when we made love. I had no regret though,

I had no regret though, I was too much in love to regret what I did.

* * *

><p>I woke up in the late morning, hearing the jeeps going to and from the entry of the town, the warm summer air was coming into the room now and having me feel warm all over underneath the one sheet that was covering me. I felt some of my hair frame my face and the rest was on the pillow, having me not want to move for awhile. I was facing the window, seeing the rays of the sun hit the high ceiling and the room was in a glow. My thoughts were suddenly on what happened last night, and a grin spread over my face. There was a body against me, nose pressed against my neck and breathing in and out deeply, one arm around my bare waist and feeling legs pressed against my own from behind.<p>

My brother would kill me if he knew what I did, but I didn't care. What Eugene and I did…though I thought about it plenty of times before, it was almost like we were sealing our fates together. The vivid memories of his lips against my scar along my ribs, which made me roll my eyes to the back of my head and gasp out in both lust and sheer shock, made it feel so real even now. There was no ounce of regret from how we had sex last night, because it was just as passionate as I thought it would be. Eugene murmuring French against my lips, me mumbling back in German before moaning and feel like I was about to burst at the seams. He was carefully with my injury, asking if I was hurt or if he was going too fast. I reassured him with kisses and the running of my fingers over his skin, showing him that all he was doing was making me high on love. Our holds on one another were both desperate and reassuring, locking eyes the whole time and having me think that was some kind of sick dream. But it happened, it was real.

We were real enough.

I finally looked over at Eugene, who was fast asleep on his side, facing me with his face which was once again giving the impression that he was having a nice dream. No longer a concentrated look on his face when he was asleep, he more well rested than ever and I knew why. I smiled against the pillow, watching him there next to me and seeing how the covers are only covering him halfway down his chest. His muscles were there, the ones that developed over the past three years and gave the impression that he ran so many miles to save lives, not to mention lifting wounded soldiers and dragging them with plenty of strengths. He had one of the two freckles on his pale skin, something I overlooked as they were contrasting his skin, one on his neck and the other on his chest on the left side. His black hair, smoothed out against the pillow, his eyebrows relaxed on his face and how his lips were no longer looking pale, but fuller then. I just watched him, thinking of the menu reasons why I got so lucky with him.

Eugene was my best friend, in which he was someone whom I could share my deepest soul with and not be judged. He provided that sense of safety when we talked, wanting to hear all the good and the bad from me because he saw me as interesting and worth listening to. Eugene was the calm to my storm, and vice versa. We both had times when the other would anchor us down, bring us back to the earth and not lose our own head. It wasn't an instant romantic love, not from what I saw in the movies or even read in a book or two. This love snuck up on us, without either one of us knowing it, and it flooded over us like a drug that would never let up.

My future with him was looking bright, at least in my mind it was. I could see us living in Louisiana, because the thought of the timid Eugene in the bustling city of San Francisco seemed frightening. We would have a simple house, nothing too big or too luxurious, but big enough for the both of us to just live. Summer evenings on a porch drinking tea, mornings having coffee and wrapped in each other under blankets. Sailing in the bayou when it was too hot to just sit in our house.

Would he want children? I would think he did, and he would want plenty to play with and raise. Only imagining our children in my head was enough to have me burst with happiness: a daughter with his black hair that was long and wavy and my brown eyes, or even my brown waves and Eugene's stormy blue eyes. A handful of kids, playing with each other in the yard and yelling in either French or German, Eugene swinging them around with a big smile on his own face. I would teach them how to read, Eugene would teach them how to ride a bike or even how to cook. We would take them to church, Joe would visit the infamous favorite uncle, along with my other siblings and their own children. After going through this war, Eugene and I would be content on staying in one place for a very long time.

Eugene finally woke up, slowly at first and breathing in deeply before seeing that I was watching him. I loved seeing his eyes then, the warm blue that was there in which they were usually dark and cool. He looked right at me and grinned, his arm was still on me underneath the covers and the other arm was under his head and the pillow. If this is what marriage was going to look like for the both of us, waking up to see each other in the morning, I would take it in a heartbeat.

"Good morning." He said in a grumble still waking up, but a smile was still there on his face none the less. Just hearing those two words sealed my fate to him, even after accepting his proposal to marry me and even after the sex. It was all about how he was looking at me in the bed, it was a done deal.

"Good morning, _Liebste_."

* * *

><p>"They're sending me off to France." Malarky explained to me as we were both walking side by side in the larger home that Winters and some of the other officers took over at. I went up there have drinks with some of the men in celebration of Victory in Europe, and for the transition of going towards the Pacific. I was in my best dressed since it was a nice occasion, the new fitted uniform for me that included a skirt and heels along with my hair pulled back in a low enough bun that my short hair could handle. Winters asked me to come so I could talk to him about the decision I made, though I was flagged down my Malarky first and we were walking now along the edge of the balcony with our champagne glasses in hand.<p>

"That's wonderful." I said to him in a light tone as he nodded his head, taking a drink from his glass.

"It's more of a supervision job really, so I won't be doing any fighting there." Malarky went on with his new adventure as we stopped near the end of the balcony, seeing the lake in front of us and how it was lighting the house with the reflection of the sun. Malarky looked young again, clean shaved and with a hint of youth back in his eyes. I have missed this face on him since it was constantly plagued by death and pain since we came out of Bastogne, even before then.

"I'm glad to hear that, Malarky. Truly I am, you get to experience some of that French life." I teased him, seeing him chuckle as I drank from my own glass and grinned.

"But what about you? I heard you're trying to choose between the Pacific or home." Malarky said to me now with the subject on me.

"I'm gonna head home. I don't wanna head over there and not see the guys, worry about them if they're gettin' hurt and me not there." I explained to him softly with a shrug of my shoulders, leaning against the bar railing and tapping the glass with my fingers, "Besides, I think Eugene would want me at home instead of out there in battle where I could get hurt."

"I can see his point," Malarky added, "You've had enough close calls as it is."

"And I don't think he would want his fiancé having another seizure." I mentioned too, but as soon as I said it I saw the shock on Malarky's face. At first I had no idea why he was so shocked, but it was because I said the word "fiancé" that made him freeze. I closed my eyes in a grimace, mentally hating myself for dropping the bomb before I knew I was ready to do so.

"Damnit." I hissed out.

"Hold on….you and Doc?! Are you serious?!" He asked me in shock. I opened my eyes, seeing nothing but a big smile plastered there on his mug and how he looked so happy. I nodded my head slowly and he started to laugh. I hated myself for letting it slip, downing the last of the alcohol in my hand before I saw him rushed over to me. He wrapped one arm around my waist, picking me up and having me cling to his shoulder as he twirled me around, still laughing.

"This is great news!" He said in a gleeful tone though I was more worried that he was going to spill his champagne on me and I was going to loose my glass. But just hearing his laugh made me laugh too and he placed me back on the floor, searching my eyes again with his warm ones and I cleared my throat.

"If you say one word about this to anyone in the company, I will hurt you Donald Malarky!" I warned him, but the smile never left his face as we were staring at each other.

"I won't say a word, I promise! But this is huge!" He exclaimed though the small smirk was still on my own face as we heard someone coming over in our direction.

"What's huge?" It was Joe, such perfect timing as he walked over to the both of us now in his own new set of a uniform. He looked clean cut too, and he happened to be here in the right moment. I have a shooting glare over at Malarky, who saw my look to know not to say a word to my brother. I was going to tell him myself, and I didn't want to do it now. Malarky drank the rest of his own drink in one gulp, avoiding eye contact with Joe and he then gave a nervous smile.

"I'm gonna go talk to Nixon….yep." Malarky said in an awkward manner, then moving away from the both of us without even saying a word or two. WE both watched him stalk off, though Joe looked right back at me and shrugged his shoulders.

"What's with Malarky?" He asked in a snort. I shook my head in return, seeing him chuckle a bit from being next to me.

"No idea," I replied back to him,"I thought you were with the other guys back at the base training camp?"

"I was, but I came over to pick you up since Dr. Kent wants to talk to you." Joe informed me, still in his nonchalant mode as he leaned his back against the balcony railing, shoulders resting on the top and he was closing his own eyes to soak in the sun there on the house.

"What did he want?" I asked him with curiosity, eyeing with him my spot. I placed the glass on the balcony wall to free up my hands.

"No idea, the guy's already a tightwad as it is. I think it's something to do with you going over to the Pacific." Joe replied back to me, having me roll my eyes.

"Great." I grumbled, seeing Joe open his eyes and looking over at me in amusement.

"You sound amused about the whole thing, you okay?" He asked me, tilting his head at me. It made me wonder if this was the best time to tell him that I was engaged since I let it out in the open with Malarky. Was it the same with him? He could be happy about it, beyond happy.

"Just tryin' to figure out what I'm gonna do. I wanna go home since I have the choice…but given the circumstances…" I trailed off, this was going to be harder than I thought. I saw Joe smirk at me then, having me hate that smirk on his face since I knew what was coming.

"Can't let go of Doc just yet, can't ya?" he asked me coyly.

"Don't even go there, Joe." I warned him.

"Oh please. Don't hate on me when you know it's true," Joe replied in his light tone, "I'm not gonna say that I don't like you two together…I'm still stomaching it down." I punched him on the shoulder then, seeing him chuckle and try to dodge the punch.

"This is why I never dated anyone in high school, I didn't want to deal this shit." I grumbled to him once again, though he was still amused about the whole situation.

"Oh, come on, Jemmie. It's adorable: You and Doc a couple together. I gotta tell ya, it even makes my own heart flutter a bit." Joe teased me, though it was still aggravating that I was getting teased by my own twin brother.

"Well, this is a nice way to treat your future brother-in-law," I said nonchalantly, though I knew this time what I was doing. Better to slip it into the conversation than to sit down with him and tell him nicely. Joe's smile was still on his face, but he was not laughing this time. I couldn't tell is he was in shock, or just in denial that I told him the news, but the grin never left the face he had. It made me assume that he was happy from what I told him.

"What did ya say?" He asked me, a bit amused by the whole thing. I kept my cool banter though, still scared about the situation at hand and my brother's own reaction that his sister was getting married.

"You heard me." I cooly replied, seeing the grin on his face that was once small and sincerer break into a huge grin, slowly, but surely. I could tell the look on his face that he approved from what he heard, and that there was no argument that was going to happen. Joe then walked over to me, open-armed, and hugged me close without even saying a word or two. I hugged him back, feeling so much better that my brother liked this and he didn't care about it at all. I could feel it in his hug, the both of us in a nice embrace in the sun at the large home. The brother was always my rock, beyond so, and to see how far he has come since we got off the train together three years ago, made me love him even more as my twin.

"I'm happy for ya, Jemmie. But how are we gonna tell ma you're engaged?" he asked me as he pulled away and grinned widely at me. I then looked like I went into shock then. My parents….let alone my siblings.

Oh shit, this was not good.


	39. Chapter 39

"Shit…shit shit shit." I said it over and over in my head as Joe and I hopped out of the jeep back at the training camp, hearing the routines and the calls going back and forth with the captains as they were training their men. We had one surrendered group from the German army, the officer was talking to Lipton at that point and he didn't look too pleased with his own position.

It was becoming early afternoon and when Joe drove the pair of us back, and I was still trying to find out what was going to happen when I tell our mother and father that I was engaged, let alone our four brothers and sisters. Joe was still calm about the situation, but now I was reeling over and over in my head on how this was going to be played out.

"Will ya calm down, it's just ma and pop for Christ's sake." Joe said to me as we were walking together out on the grassy field and over to the medical tent area.

"It's a death trap if you think about it." I grumbled back to him as he rolled his eyes.

"Jemmie, they are not gonna freak out over this, I'm thinkin' they're gonna be more on the happier side of this situation, you know?" Joe asked me lightly, but it was still a nerve-wracking thing to think about

"I'm still shocked that you're taking this whole thing well. You don't mind this?" I asked him then, seeing him eye me as we walked together, shoulder to shoulder and seeing the medical tent coming closer to us as we went on.

"I've learned to never try and argue with ya since you're just as stubborn as I am," Joe commented to me, the both of us stopping since I placed an arm on his shoulder to stop him from going any further. He was trying to play this whole thing off casually, as he would usually do, but I needed to have the serious side of my brother now since this was a huge step in my own life.

"Joe, I need you to be serious for one second of this whole thing, will ya?" I asked him in almost a pleading manner, facing him now and seeing him take in a deep breathe before placing his hands on my shoulders. I could hear a jeep coming up from near us as we stood in the middle of the green field there.

"Jemima," he began, using my full name for the first time in what seemed like forever, "I am beyond happy for you, I swear. Doc is a good guy, a great one that I know who's gonna take good care of you and make you really happy." I smiled when he told me this, since it was a rare thing to hear him be so sincere with me and serious at the same time.

"So…you knew we were together?" I asked him sheepishly, seeing his grin broaden and a shrug of his shoulders once again.

"I think I've known you two have been together since Bastogne, I would see ya sneak into his foxhole and him to yours," Joe replied, "But I wasn't going to say anything, since you never tell me anything about your love life as it is."

"And I wonder why?" I asked in a sarcastic manner.

"You're fine. This whole thing is fine, okay?" Joe asked me now with a roll of his eyes once again.

"But mom and dad could still go apeshit over this, you know?" I countered back with my own question

"Stop think about what other people are going to think about, okay?" Joe asked me now with a hint of boldness behind it, still holding my shoulders and giving me another stare of intensity, "What do _you _want?" I paused when he asked me this, realizing where he was coming from. Once again I was not focused on myself, but on the views of others and how they are going to deal with the engagement with Eugene and I. Where was I in this whole thing? How was I feeling about this? This should be about Eugene and I, no one else. Joe had a point, a fair and good point since this had nothing to do with anyone else.

"I want Eugene," I said back to him simply, almost like we were having some kind of pep talk. Joe nodded his head at me, since this was clearly the right answer and I breathe out a sigh of relief. It sounded right, coming off my lips. I had to say it over and over again in my brain, this was about Eugene and I, no one else. This should me a time for me to be selfish, though that made me feel a hint of bitterness on my heart there. I then gave him a small grin, the whole conversation felt a bit lighter between the two of us as we then heard the Jeep stop right next to us. We both looked, seeing Nixon and Winters in the jeep and Spiers next to them on foot. They were talking amongst themselves, which made me realize that there was another topic that I had to think about to get off my chest.

"I need to talk to Winters." I explained to Joe now, no longer worried or scared about what was going on with Eugene and I but what my own fate was going to be like in the army and with Easy.

"About you going home?" Joe asked me as I was watching Winters and Spiers talk some more about the fate of the men. He was watching too, having me look back at Joe and see him look rather cool and collective.

"Yeah," I said aloud, my voice already sounding a bit wavy because it was still a touchy subject for me to get through, "Not to mention my whole company is going to the Pacific, including you."

"Jemmie…" Joe started, having me shake my head from opening another can of worms in that moment with my brother. I didn't even want to think about how my brother was going to be sent out to the battle lines himself, which was feeling worse than Eugene. Eugene may be the love of my life, but Joe was blood. He was my twin brother, and that bond was something I never wanted to be broken.

"We can talk about that later." I said back to him in a rush, not wanting to start another conversation with him. I knew it had to happen, but not there in the middle of the field where everyone could see. Joe eyed me then, seeing the look on my face and noticing that I didn't want to talk about it yet. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his fingers and I felt kind of bad for him. We haven't had a real talk together in a couple of days, and the talk was going to have to happen since I wanted to know how he was feeling about the whole situation.

"Oh shit." I heard Joe say under his breath, having me see him looking over to my left and two people were walking over in our direction. The one person, whom we haven't' seen in months and had no care about since he left our group, was walking with a private right behind him and the private saluted Winters. Winters saluted back, but I could see this was about to go downhill real quick.

Sobel.

"Captain Sobel." Winters said aloud to him as he was walking by without giving a look to Winters.

"Major Winters." He replied back coolly, having me feel like Joe and I were intruding in such a conversation.

"Captain Sobel," Winters said one more time, Sobel finally stopping and looking over at him with some pain in his eyes and the look of shame, "We salute the rank, not the man."

"Holy shit," I said in a gasp from the sheer notion of it all. Both Joe and I were floored, seeing Sobel reluctantly raise a hand to salute Winters and getting one in return. I never thought I would see the say when Sobel was looking rather defeated in front of Winters, merely because Winters himself started out as a 2nd lieutenant under Sobel's command. But now he outranked him, what a thought, that must have been for Sobel as he walked away past Joe and I. Joe, looked at Sobel at first, and then over at Winters with the annoyance on his face and amusement on my own face.

"He's still an asshole," I muttered under my breath, then looking over at Joe and still seeing the annoyance on his own face when he and eye contact with Winters, "I'm going over to talk to Kent right now."

"Got it," Joe replied to me as he then walked over to the jeep and I walked over to the medical tent that was close. Going into my pocket, I grabbed my bottle, I pulled out another pill and threw it in my mouth, since I forgot to do it earlier that day. It was helping that the medicine I was taking made each seizure less and less threatening, more of a soft tremor that would last 3 seconds before dying out. I was still in awe of what happened with Sobel and how the whole thing was handled out. He had some nerve to try and get away from Winters without showing him some kind of respect. I was about to go into the tent when I heard the German officer talking to his men, all of whom were listening in wrapped attention and in silence.

"_Men, it's been a long war, it's been a tough war_," He started with his men, sounding proud and noble at the officer there, "_You have fought bravely, proudly, for your country. You are a special group, who found in one another a bond that exists only in combat." _It made me cringe in how he was saying it, as if he was telling the men goodbye, or they gave it their bet shot. As much as I tried to hard not to look at the Germans as the sole enemy in this entire war, wanting to see them as humans too who had the same agenda as us, this was somehow making me hurt on the inside. They went through the same things we did: turmoil and pain, heartbreak and loss.

"_Amongst brothers, of shared foxholes. Held each other in dire moments. Have seen death and suffered together. I am proud to have served with each and every one of you. You deserve long and happy lives."_ The speech itself made me feel moved from my spot in the opening of the medical tent, looking away from it all after seeing the sea of faces from the German men who are watching their commander in sadness and grief. I felt bad, moved and angry at the same time. Bad because they were listening to their officer talk about all the pain they went through. Moved because of their faces and seeing how defeated they looked with just one simple stare. And angry, because we were brought to think that they were soulless and not even close to being humans, just Krauts.

They were human too.

* * *

><p>"Sergeant Liebgott?" I turned around from my spot in front of my apartment on the street, seeing both Nixon and Winters coming over to me now in their dressed uniforms. I saluted the both of them and they returned the gesture to me as we stood on the streets.<p>

"Joe told us you went to talk to Dr. Kent?" Winters asked me.

"I did, sir. I explained to him how I was not going with Easy over to the Pacific." I explained to him calmly, seeing him look over at Nixon and then back at me now. He was a bit floored from my decision and how I chose to leave the men and go home. Did he think I wanted to stay in the army, knowing that there was no chance of me being with Easy when they went off to another battle?

"You're not coming with us?" Nixon asked in a bit of a lower tone, having me shake my head at him slowly.

"No sir, I have enough point to go home and I'm gonna take it," I replied back, but there was still something else going on with the two of them.

"Well, we were hoping you were going to choose the latter, to come with us over there." Winters informed me, though now I was confused as I shifted uneasily in my spot in front of the both of them.

"You did?" I asked him, forgetting to say "sir" to him and I saw him nod his head, "But I thought you want me to go home."

"I did, at first. I only wanted to have you go home because of the situation with you Epilepsy." Winters said to me calmly, "I didn't want you to go through another round of seizures while we were over there and get yourself into more danger."

"Which is understandable," I added to in his defense. Hell, if I was Winters and one of my men had a condition that could worsen over time, I would want them to go home too. They would be safe back at home, not living under a microscope and worried that they could die within seconds.

"It's not, Jemima," Winters argued with me, now having me look at him in shock because not only did he use my real name, but he was going against what he told me earlier, "You are a damn good soldier, and one of the best medics we have ever had in this Company along with Doc. You have every right to be with us there in the field. I had no right to send you home because of a condition you do have control over." I said nothing, thinking about this more and feeling like crap then. I took his advice that he gave me earlier about going home with a grain of salt, almost bitterly really. Winters was a great leader, but he was a fierce protector of his men.

"You want me to come with you?" I asked him now in disbelief.

"I want you with us out there. You, Doc, and Spina have kept us alive thus far, and it wouldn't be fair to leave you behind. But it is still up to you, you still have a choice to go home." Winters explained to me with a small smile on his face.

"They won't let me anywhere near the battle line, sir," I argued with him, shifting the jacket I was wearing a bit.

"I can talk to them and give you an exception." Winters reassured me. I looked over to Nixon to see if he was telling the truth, and the smile there on his face was enough for me to see that they both talked about this already to make sure that this was right, that this is what they wanted.

So what was I going to do?

* * *

><p>"Here." Joe handed me a cold beer bottle as we both were laying out on top of one of the rooftops of the apartment. After I talked with Nixon and Winters, I told them that I needed some time to think about what was going to happen and where I wanted to go. They accepted that, it was enough for me to try and find some space away from them or any other officers that were close by. I needed to think, and the best person I could think next to, was Joe himself.<p>

"Thanks." I thanked him taking a small sip from the cold bottle and feeling the cool beer hit the back of my throat like it was honey. I needed a drink, and Eugene was off talking to Dr. Kent himself on the transfer over to the Pacific and how that was going to look for him. Joe sat down next to me on the roof, the both of us shedding our jackets and just laying our feet out in front of us in content as the warm sun was beating on us, not enough to be hot but cool enough to sit there.

"You looked like you needed one. Luz found these in the kitchen at his place." Joe explained to me with a sigh as he took a drink from his own bottle. I closed my eyes and sigh myself, a nice moment with me brother and nothing were realign going to plague me at that moment.

"All I found at my place, was whiskey, and I hate that stuff," I said back to him, hearing him chuckle next to me.

"You were never a hard alcohol kind of girl," Joe stated.

"Never have been, never will. One more thing to make me abnormal I guess." I mumbled.

"Oh, shut up, you're not abnormal. You're Jemima Liegbott, the best damn combat medic in the army." Joe proclaimed, having me giggle and open my eyes against to the puffy clouds above us in the sky.

"I'm flattered by the compliment, thanks big brother." I joked with him, the both of us falling into the comfortable silence again as we were just sitting next to each other on the rooftop. All, I could hear, was the warm breeze that came through from the mountaintops, the jeeps rolling in and out of town, and the creaking of the windows that were letting the wind come into the rooms. It was quiet, too quiet for the normal person to think about, but I needed this quiet.

"Winters wants me to go the Pacific with you guys." I said to him suddenly, taking another drink and then gulping it down in hopes that it would somehow numb the confusion that I was feeling in my head about the whole situation.

"What are ya gonna do?" Joe asked me, having me look over at him and see him stare in front of us at the building across the street, saying nothing and looking like he too was in deep thought.

"I have no idea. At first I wanted to stay with you guys…but I already promised Eugene that I wouldn't get into any more danger." I explained to him.

"He still thinks you can't handle yourself?" Joe questioned, having me shake my head from the question he threw at me.

"It's not like that at all." I was about to argue.

"I know it's not. Hell, he's just looking out for you, the same as every other guy in Easy." Joe explained to me calmly, "And I know…I know you don't need anyone looking out for you so don't lecture me on that one."

"You have learned my ways." I joked with him, seeing him smirk though keeping his eyes ahead and not looking at me.

"At this point, I still don't wanna leave you guys. And besides, you and I came into this war together, and I wouldn't want it any other way than to leave it with you next to me." I explained to him lightly, drinking the beer some more and thinking about that statement. Joe and I got on the train together, trained together at Toccoa, and we fought this war together. We might have had different jobs, got different injuries, and were stretched in out own morals differently, but we had to get through those waves none the less and we found each other to be an anchor and the safety net for one another. If I was going to go home, I wanted to go with Joe right next to me and not away in the war.

"You still amaze me, you know that?" He asked me, having my raise my eyebrow him to why he said that.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"After all this time, getting shot at and your Epilepsy gettin' the best of you, you're still keeping your head up. I would think you would want to cave and get outta here since you almost died like three times already. But not you, one of the strongest soldiers we have in this Company." Joe explained to me lightly, shrugging his shoulders and pointing at me with the bottle in his hand. I grinned, feeling the warmth in my cheeks getting warmer because of his compliment. Joe was never one to throw out compliments left and right, only to me since I was clearly the exception.

"Why are you so good to me?" I asked him in a cheeky tone, seeing him finally look over at me with the infamous smirk on his face. I loved that smirk on his face, because there was no sense of fear with it. It was like we were teenagers or even children again. Nothing was tainted in our hearts, no nightmares that would keep us late at night. It was like we never went to war, yet here we were again looking at each other.

"You're my girl." He simply replied with a shrug of his shoulders. Just that one statement love him more as my twin brother.

"I'll always be your girl," I stated back at him softly, the both of us grinning at each other and just drinking our beers. I've missed these moments with him, when we weren't fighting a war and yelling at one another for being too stubborn or too high strung. I could see how much he has changed, though some of his traits were still there from before we left for the army.

"Hey, twins!" We heard someone calling us from below, then seeing a baseball fly up into the air from the pavement below. We both watched with our eyes as the baseball landed on the rooftop in front of out feet, having the both of us look at the ball, and then at each other in confusion.

"Get down here Liebgotts!" It was Luz that was calling out to us, Joe and I bolting up from our positions. We jogged over to the edge, peering over and seeing a group of the guys there at the pavement in front of the apartment. Some of them were in their blue shorts and shirts and boots, others in loosely fitted uniforms, but they all had baseball mitts in hand. It was Luz, Buck, Garcia, and Talbert.

"What do ya want?" Joe asked them with his annoyed tone, hearing them laugh from his tone.

"We're gonna play baseball out on the field. You two in?" Garcia asked from his spot next to Buck, who turned his baseball hat he was wearing around for it to be backward.

"I don't think you want me to whip your asses," Joe warned them in his challenging tone. They all chuckled a bit.

"What about Jem there? Can she still swing a bat?" Luz challenged me now, and I knew he was doing that on purpose. I grinned a wicked grin at him, leaning over a bit more and seeing some of my short hair frame my face as I answered them back.

"You're asking for a death sentence there Luz, don't push it," I warned him, but he still grinned at me a wide smile.

"I don't think you have the balls, Jem." Joe looked at me with intrigue on his face as I gave Luz a death glare.

Oh, it was on.

* * *

><p>"Hit a big one, Jem! Come on!" I walked up to the plate with my bat in hand and I saw Perconte was about to throw the ball at me. Joe and I hitched a ride with the rest of boys and we met up at the baseball field with the rest of Easy. Lipton and Welsh were watching from one the jeeps and we were all playing a round of baseball, to release some steam and to have some fun while we could there in our home in Austria.<p>

Eugene was up to bat after me, and I looked back at him to see him against the fence, giving me another big grin as I winked at him. Joe was at third, his kit in hand and Buck was the catcher, rearranging the mask on his face as I got the ready in hand.

"Swing it hard, Jemmie!" Joe yelled out at me in encouragement as Perconte leaned back, throwing his arm back and then aiming the ball at me. I leaned down, swinging the bat at the right time and hearing the crack of the wood hit the ball. It flew out fast and long, having me drop the bat and bolt into a run as the others were yelling at Luz to catch it. It went past him as I rounded first to get to second, running faster and hearing the others egg on Luz to chuck the ball. I was about to hit second base when Garcia caught the ball from Luz. Within a moment, I slid on my leg, pointing it out and touching the base before Garcia could touch it. The men cheered and Garcia groaned as I got up from the group, dusting off my leg off and looking over at Garcia after he chucked the ball to Perconte.

"Nice try." I joked with him, seeing him playful shove me and I chuckled from his antic. We both looked over, seeing Eugene at bat now and ready for Perconte who threw it at him. He swung, hitting it deep but not as hard as I did. I ran as Eugene did, the both of us going to first and third. I made it to third and was running over to forth when Buck beat me to it, tagging me out and then having me groan lightly.

"Way to run there, Jem." Buck chuckled as I felt him wrap am arm around my head to bring me down for a nuggie on my head. I shoved him off, his laughter filling the air and I moved out of the way so that Bull could swing next. I then grabbed a spare glove and jogged over to shortstop, standing near Luz and Garcia as the game went on.

We played that way for what felt like hours, no one keeping score or no one yelling at each other in hate. We were just playing in the moment, not having a worry or care in the world that could ruin this or us. It made me remember of childhood times out on the street with the other kids on the block, playing baseball in the afternoons after school or even on Sundays after we came home from mass. We were laughing, tagging each other with the ball and shoving each other with kindness and teasing banters. I wanted to remember this moment for the men, since the others memories, that were a constant rerun, were the one when we were in foxholes, cowering for our lives and praying we would be alive the next morning.

I tried to remember the positive memories: the men throwing a birthday party for Joe and I, the poker game in the small town of France, watching the movies in the old GYM when Luz was quoting every other line, running around in the Austria town with nothing else to go but play games and swap old stories. Those were the memories I cherished and I wanted engraved on my brain for the rest of my life.

"Easy Company!" We all stopped and looked, seeing Spiers with Nixon and Winters in another jeep. They must have pulled up when we were playing, since I didn't hear it as I we were playing the game. We all jogged over to the middle of the field, the three of them joining us there. I met up with Eugene, the both of us standing near the front of the men and they are all taking a knee to look up at Winters. Something must be up since he called us all to be there. We all waited and watched now.

"Got some news. Today, President Truman received the official surrender of the Japanese." He explained to me in his calm manner, though no one said a word. There was a surrender? None of us moved, nor did we want to since we were all drinking it in. It could only mean one thing:

"War's over." I breathed out slowly, like the weight that was pressed on my chest was finally released. The war was done, it was no more and we were finally free. Not that we weren't before, but it still felt like we were free from whatever was holding us back from going home. There was no need to fight, not anymore now. This meant that we were all going to go home, be safe and no longer live in the fear of being haunted.

Eugene slipped his hand into my own, no longer hiding it behind us like we used to. We were holding hands together, and I looked over at him now. He looked back at me, the look of relief was on his face. He wasn't going to go to the Pacific after all, he wasn't going to leave me now. I could see it in his eyes that he was beyond happy and glad in the thought. I wanted to both smile and cry at the same time. Eugene silly squeezed my hand in his and pulled me close, resting our heads together and breathing out slowly himself. We no longer had to fear that the other was going to die. Not today, not ever again.

We were going home now.


	40. Chapter 40

I shoved the last bit of my uniform into my bag and then paused, keeping my hands on my bag and thinking over and over the recent turn of events. I was going home, we were all going home now. There was no need of being in the Pacific, no need of going to another war. We were all going to be safe, permanently. It still felt like a dream, as if I was going to wake up the next morning back in my bed, going through another day of random work and walking around in Austria. We were going to be shipped out the next morning back to America, back home.

"You okay?" I looked behind me to see Eugene there at the archway in my room, watching me for who knows how long and looking clean cut once again. My heart fluttered from seeing him, wearing his white shirt and army pants. This was so good to the both of us, no longer fearing of being separated from each other.

"I'm alright, just uh….just packing." I paused, motioning back to the bag in front of me on the bed. I looked back to the bag, taking in another shaky breath and smiling at the thought of actually packing for a great journey back home. What was it giving me the shakes though? I should be giddy, beyond happy to going home, but why wasn't I? It felt more surreal in what we were going to do, because this meant there was going to be a change in routine. No more constant lookouts, no more running at the sound of someone calling out "Medic". No more running for dear life and thinking a bullet was going to pierce your skin and no more nightmares of bloody corpses…at least I hoped for the latter.

I then felt two hands on my waist, sliding over my belly and lacing the fingers together to rest and not move. I froze in my spot, then feeling him place his chin on my shoulder in which our heads touched. His body was pressed against me from behind, having me feel him breathe in and out slowly.

"You seem on edge, _chere_." he whispered to me, though when he whispered I could feel the low vibrations along my body.

"Just thinking of home," I confessed to him, hearing him hum in agreement as his hold on my tightened slightly, having me lean back into him and place my own hands on his that were on my stomach.

"Me too," Eugene agree with me, "I don't know if I'm ready to go home just yet."

"Thank God, I thought I was the only one," I said aloud in a gasp as Eugene placed a kiss on my cheek lightly, then smiling against my skin. He pulled away enough to rest his head against my own, the both of us content in our spots there in front of my bed.

"Once we get back….back home…" Eugene trailed off, still holding me close and having me close my eyes. I could see my house in my head, my sibling's faces and how they were smiling at me…

"Home." I repeated out loud, as if it was foreign for me to say it on my lips.

"I want you to live with me." Eugene said it against my skin, having me grin in my spot from the thought of the both of us living together. It was a sweet thought for me to have, and Eugene wanted it with me.

"Oh really?" I asked him playfully now, "Is it because I'm marrying you?"

"It could have something to do with you marrying me." Eugene replied smoothly, though I was grinning from him asking me to not only move in with him, but marry him. I then maneuvered my way around in his arms to face him, feeling his arms around my waist to lace his fingers behind me on my lower back and my arms going around his neck to stay there comfortably.

"I would love to live with you," I started with him, seeing him smile at me and give me that small grin that would get me weak in the knees, "But I think we need to see our families first before we do something like that."

"You don't wanna jump into it?" Eugene asked, having me shift a bit in his arms.

"Once we get back to our families, I really doubt they are going to let us out of their sights anytime soon. I have my mom and dad, along with four other siblings, that I'm going to have to explain to that I am engaged to someone they haven't met yet. And I know you mom would wanna see ya, along with you dad." I explained to him, seeing him nod in reluctance.

"That's true." He agreed though it sounded a bit painful. I gave him a kiss then, wanting to erase any bit of the unlikeness that he was feeling because I wasn't ready to immediately live with him and start our lives together.

"I wanna live with you, and marry you, Eugene Roe." I promised him as we pulled away from each other and still smiling at him, "And I figured after what we did the other night, it was already officially a done deal." I saw Eugene's cheeks get a bit red then, having me feel like I just embarrassed him and he shifted a bit while he was still holding me.

"You don't regret what we did?" He asked me sheepishly now, having me shake my head in return.

"Not one second of it." I reassured him, seeing the big grin back on his face once again after I reaffirmed him. He pulled me back into a hug, the both of us soaking in each other there in my room and feeling the sun cool down as it was setting in the mountains, the last time I would see it before we would be heading home. I breathed Eugene in again, the scent of chocolate, sweat from the baseball game, and the grass was on his skin.

"Where would you wanna live?" Eugene asked me, still hugging me in his arms as I felt him sprawl out his fingers along my back.

"Not in San Francisco." I replied.

"Why not?" Eugene asked surprisingly.

"I've lived there all my life, I wanna see something else. Hell, we can live where you grew up, in Louisiana." I answered him, hearing the chuckle there from his lips as he pulled away so we can see each other's eyes again.

"Plaquemine isn't a great town to live in, trust me," Eugene tried to reason with me, but I shrugged my shoulders.

"Then we can live somewhere else there, like New Orleans." I reasoned with him, seeing him think to himself as I ran some of my fingers in his own hair, the softness of my calloused fingers and palms make me feel warm all over again.

"I like New Orleans, and you would love it." Eugene agreed.

"Oh really?" I asked him with my grin there for him to see.

"There's music, food that's pretty good to eat, and not to mention…plenty of bookstores for us to go to." Eugene explained, pausing before he mentioned the bookstores and I laced my fingers behind his neck.

"You know how to woo me, don't ya?" I questioned, Eugene nodding his head and I could see his eyes going warm again. He kissed me softly then, leaning into me and pulling me close to him as I kissed him back. The warm coil in my stomach was back, having me glad we were alone so that this can go on further. But I had to do something before we could even go on a step higher than what we were used to.

"Hold that thought." I whispered against his lips, pulling away from him and hearing him groan slightly as I then moved away from him back to the front door that lead into the hallway. I smoothed out my hair and I could feel my fingers shaking. I loved Eugene, I really did, but I also hated him for putting me through an adrenaline of emotions all from the kisses he gave me and how his fingers felt against my skin. It was a sweet drug, he was the drug that I needed in order to feel better. The sweet, soft spoken Cajun placed me under his spell and was not going to let me go.

I walked over to the front door, closed it and locking the door before taking a deep breath. I could hear him take a few steps over to me, but when I turned around, I saw him staring at me from the archway that lead into the bedroom. I walked back over to him, still taking my time but his eyes were drilling into my own. They were dark again, and he was breathing heavily as it was like he was under his own spell from just watching me.

"Sleep with me?" I asked without even thinking about what I asked him. What a bold thing to ask of him, since I was too bold and he was so gentle and careful? But the look he was giving me, the intensity in his eyes and how he looked more brooding than before, was telling me otherwise.

"Absolutely." He merely replied like a breath of fresh air, grabbing my hand when I was close enough and pulled me back into his arms, kissing me softly again. I didn't know why I asked him to sleep with me then. Wait, I knew why: I loved him beyond words and he loved me back.

So we fell.

* * *

><p><strong>Eugene's POV:<strong>

Another nightmare shook me awake that night, this time it was Bastogne all over again, and Moose died in my arms. It felt real enough for me to want to cry out, to try and save him. But all there was on his body, was blood, and that's when I woke up.

I hated the nightmares, they made me wish that I could just erase all that I had to deal with in this goddamn war. I could always dream of someone crying out for a medic, someone who needed my help but dying before I got there. Did I do a good enough job as a medic? Did I even make a difference in the whole war with the men of Easy? I always went above and beyond when it came to helping out the guys, hell I could hardly find time to sleep since I would try and find more boots and medicine for them all. I didn't mind, it was a selfless thing for me to do, it was my job after all.

I breathed in and out, trying to calm down from the nightmare and noticing that I was back in bed again, covered in the sheets and hearing the cool summer night outside the window that was left cracked open. I had to remind myself again, I was safe, no one was going to hurt me, and there was no blood to be seen. Another sound was heard, deep breathing and I looked over to see whom it belonged to.

Jemima, fast asleep next to me.

She was facing me in the bed, the bed sheets were pooled at her midsection, and she was wearing her brassier again but was sound asleep. Her brown hair, though it was still short and light in the sun, almost looked like a halo around her head as she was sleeping next to me, with her skin a bit darker than my own skin from being out in the sun for far too long. I think one thing that set her apart, that made me see how she was Joe's sister, was her long and somewhat pointed nose.

This was the last thing that I was expecting to find myself in when it came to the war. I didn't sign up thinking that I would fall in love with another combat medic and then find myself in the same bed as her. I only thought I would do my time and go home, doing some kind of good work in the whole thing, but finding my head being messed up and my sanity being questioned, though Jemima fixed that plenty of times with her kisses and her voice. This was not how thought I was going to live my life, yet it wasn't something I was going to hate myself for later. This was good, being in the same bed with her and loving her whenever I could. I would be scared to do something like this with any other girl that I met, but for some reason, I wasn't with Jemima. It felt completely…right.

I never thought I could be as bold as I was when I went to war. I was never bold, not even as a child in Louisiana. The war had to make me bold, there was no choice. I don't think I would have survived if I didn't become bold enough to run after the calls for help, or to quickly work on a wound that could kill someone. But it wasn't just the war that made me bold, it was Jemima.

From the moment I met her I could tell she was bold and she was courageous in what she did. Far more reckless than I imagined, since she was more keen on helping others than taking care of herself. I could see, from the other side of the bed and watching her, the scars that were still there on her skin from all of the battles we went through. The small dent of a scar on her forehead from the bullet and helmet in Market Garden, the two thin lines on her face that were curved around her eye and jawline from the airborne attack in Foye, her line scar line on the top of her hand from Carentan. Even on her chest the bruising from the bullet hitting her because of the drunken soldier. The bruise was slowly fading from purple and blue, into a lighter blue and green, no longer hurting her but just leaving an ache.

She taught me to be bold, not to be afraid to speak my mind. She made it look easy, compared to me who was just fine being nice and quiet. I give her credit for being bold, knowing when to speak up or when to calm a situation down. Jemima was bold enough to run a Company if she had the chance, and calm enough to bring people peace in rough times. I didn't care if it made me desperate when I would kiss her in dark corridors or behind closed doors, or if it made me look foolish when I would scold her for being too reckless for my liking. She brought a voice back to me, and I was forever grateful for that.

Not only was Jemima reckless, she was also afraid. I knew she was afraid of losing people around her and being seen as someone who needed constant care. Jemima was smart enough to take care of herself, even with her Epilepsy she could handle anything thrown right at her. It was the rest of the Company that was afraid for her, thinking that she was so fragile enough to break from a simple bruise or scrape on the skin.

The only things, I knew about love, was what I learned from my parents, and what I learned in church when I was paying attention enough. It was a pure thing to feel, pure enough to change someone forever and make them a different person. I wondered if that was what was happening to me when I first had feelings for Jemima. I questioned before if I was falling in love with her. However, when she told me she loved me, that was enough to know that this was true.

I questioned myself when it was when I fell for her, when love overtook me and made me see her in a newer light. For awhile I thought it was when we were in Holland, and the flowers were in her hair as she was smiling at me, but then I thought of when I was examining her head after she was shot there and the helmet cut her. I had no idea when I fell for Jemima Liebgott, but I was glad that I did.

There was no sense of remorse when we slept together, I didn't regret any part of it. It then felt complete between the both of us after it happened, almost like it was a natural thing to do. I would just have to pray a whole lot to have God forgive me, though just looking at Jemima was enough to tell myself that what we did, although sinful, was perfect. I loved her, beyond words I did.

Jemima stirred a bit then, almost looking uncomfortable and a bit scared within her own dream. her eyebrows knitted together in worry and she gasped for some air. I watched for another second, realizing that she was having a nightmare. Within a moment, I pulled her into my arms as she was still shaking a bit from the dream.

"I got you, Jemima." I whispered to her in a calm manner, wrapping my arms around her and feeling her instantly snuggle into me. Her head under my chin, her breathing calming down again and her arms around my waist, as if this was a natural position for the both of us. I loved holding her close like this, breathing in the scent of Lavender that she had in her hair that reminded me of home. I felt her warmth on her skin and it reminded me of summer time on the bayou and hearing her breath brought me peace.

God, I was gonna marry her when we were back at home, and I was going to try so hard to live every day with her, loving her and laughing with her. I knew we were going to have to go to hell and back when we got home because of the nightmares. We both have been having about the war, were only going to get worse. I feared it was going to break her into pieces, making her feel like she's weak and no longer the strong-willed woman I fell in love with. I had to protect her, I wanted to because I cared about her too much to let her fall away from me. I just felt her that night, wondering what was going to happen to us when we got home and no longer in the war. The future was uncertain, but the only thing that was concrete about it, was the girl in my arms.

"I'll never let you go, Jemima Liebgott."

* * *

><p><strong>Jemima's POV:<strong>

"My god, how have I missed these!" Perconte said in such a loving moan as he sat down in front of Joe and I at the mess hall table we were at, eating the dinner that night and getting ready to head to bed. We've been on the ship heading back to America for about three days now, and ever since we got on the ship, the men have been swapping stories about what they are going to do when they get home. Most of them were thinking of trying to get their jobs back, others were looking for adventures and maybe a wife to take on to start a family. When they asked me, I had to lie to them since Eugene and I decided not to tell anyone else in the Company about our engagement. Joe was sworn to secrecy, and Malarky was already in Paris so that was no problem. I just explained that I was thinking of going to school for writing, which I really was thinking about.

"Really? You've missed Spaghetti?" Joe asked in amusement as I took saw the heaping pile on his plate with the sauce there. Dinner was spaghetti, mash potatoes, carrots that were steamed, and a brownie for dessert. Perconte smirked at me, clearly amused at our stunned faces. The rest of the men around us were chatting with each other, none of the officers were in sight since they were in a debriefing meeting. Eugene was off in his room, about to come to dinner since he had to finish the letter he was writing to his mother.

"I am Italian after all, and this is the good kind they have, not like the ketchup shit they gave us at training." he explained lightly as Luz sat down with him with his own plate of noodles and sauce.

"Man, after all of that chocolate and finer champagne, they give us this crap." Luz grumbled though we could tell he was joking when I took a bite from my plate and drink from my tin can.

"I'm not gonna miss all of that soup they had stored up there back in Austria, no sir. I can't wait to get my hands on real American food." Garcia said in glee next to me.

"I can't wait for my own bed. No more sleeping in a fucking foxhole or in hay." Joe added with a sigh, having me smirk as he ate his own food.

"Oh, Jesus…my bed..it's been far too long," Luz said in almost a mocked moan, having the rest of the men snort and giggle from his tone and accent. He started pushing his food around on his plate, not interesting in the noodle and looking greener than he was hungry.

"I can add more books to my library." I said myself, thinking about my old library I had in my old room at home.

"You nerd." Perconte joked with me as I stuck my tongue out at him, hearing him chuckle as he ate some more.

"Is that supposed to insult me, Perconte?" I asked him coyly, though he was then giving me a hesitant look, like I wasn't joking with them. Joe eyed me too, not understanding that I was clearly joking around. The air was still then between us at the table, no one moving or showing any sign of giving in.

"Ease up on Frank, Liebgott." Bull said with a snort as he walked over with his tray and sat down next to Perconte and then Christenson joining him. I just winked at Perconte, seeing him slowly grin at me and I chuckled, going back to my food and munching away.

"I feel bad for Eugene now." Joe mumbled under his breath for only me to hear. I shoved him with my shoulder to shut him up, hearing him snicker as he didn't look at me again. I wanted to shove him up against the wall and threaten him to keep his mouth shut, but from where I was, that was no option. He was just playing, but sometimes he would push one button too far. I then looked over at Luz and I saw him moving the noodle around with his fork, still not interested in the food and looking a bit miserable himself. Feeling kind of bad about it, since I was so used to him giving out grins and jokes, I shifted a bit in my spot next to Joe and Garcia.

"You gonna play with your food there, Luz?" I asked, pointing with my fork and finishing eating what was left in my mouth. Luz looked up at me, though I was shrugging my shoulders at him and seeing him eye me.

"You gonna make me eat?" he asked amused.

"You need to eat or you'll get sick." I advised him lightly.

"And if I just decided…to do this?" He picked up some spaghetti sauce with his fork, having me watch as he was looking at his fork in his hand like it was a rare item. He then glared at me, a wicked grin on his face, flicking the fork with his wrist and the sauce flying right in my face. Everyone at our table went silent as they saw the red sauce hit me right in the face, splattering me like it was painted there. I was in shock, not saying anything as it dripped onto the floor. I was glaring at Luz now, but not in hate. I knew what he was doing, and that got me grinning at him with my red stained lips as I dug my own fork into my noodles and sauce without breaking eye contact with Luz.

"Jemmie, don't you dare." Joe growled at me in a warning tone, but I ignored him as I gave Luz a playful grin.

"What a nice gesture, prick." I replied, flinging the noodle and sauce back at him and seeing him in shock from my own actions. The others around us scooting a bit away from him as some of the noodles flew past him and bit the man who was sitting right behind him: O' Keefe. We all looked, seeing him look over his shoulder at us in shock and I started to giggle as Luz looked at me now with his glare even bigger on his face.

"Oh, you're on Jem!" He challenge, throwing the fork down and placing his fingers in the noodle to scoop some up. He threw, which had me dive to the side just in time as most of his noodles landed on Joe's shirt. Joe glared at Luz now, his eyes threatening as he was rising up from his table now at a petrified Luz.

"You son of a bitch." He growled, but Luz shot up from his own spot on the bench, his grin wide and the noodle still dangling from his ear and chin. he held his fork above his head like a declaration, all of us watching now and wondering what he was up to.

"FOOD FIGHT!" he bellowed, the rest of Easy in the mess hall looking at him in wonder as to what was going on. He threw his noodles at Perconte as Bull threw his own food at Babe. Babe retaliated, and the whole mess hall was in mass chaos. Noodles were flying back and forth as the men were getting beyond dirty from the red sauce and other food times from our trays. I shoved food in Joe's hair and he was trying to get it down my back, the both of us falling to the floor from our feet slipping on the sauce that was under our boots.

Everyone was running around, throwing pasta and potatoes at one another like they were grenades and some of the tables overturned, the men hiding behind them like it was some kind of battle. Of course, we would act like this was a battle, we were soldiers after all.

"I need ammo!" Christenson said as he was ducking behind a turned table. I tossed him a roll, in which he grinned and chucked it at Sisk who was throwing some noodles at Perconte now. Perconte threw back at him as I got hit by some of the mash potatoes because of Buck, whom was grinning from each to ear, though I found a half-eaten brownie by my foot and I shoved it in his face like it was cake on his birthday.

"You're gonna pay for that!" Buck said in a teasing tone as I dodged his mash potato bullet and ran around the corner to hide next to Joe. He was caked in sauce and some potatoes were in his hair as he was holding a wad of noodles in one hand.

"Double barrels on Babe." Joe said to me over the mass chaos of the food fight in the mess hall. I nodded in agreement, grabbing the noodles near my own fingers and we both looked right at each other.

"One…two….three!" We both bolted up from our spots, throwing our noodles at Babe who was shoving mash potatoes at Garcia was them bombarded by Sisk and Bull who were firing back with brownies by the twos and threes. We were all getting messy, covered in food and laughing about it. There was something about this whole mass of chaos, mash potatoes in our ear and sauce in our hair, that made every other bad nightmare about the war drift away like a boat at sea. We were no longer soldiers that just got away from war, we were now regular people who were just having the time of our lives.

"What in the hell is going on?" We all stopped and looked, food still in our hands and seeing who was at the mess hall doors. Not one person moved, a pin could drop since we were all so silent in this whole scenario. It was none other than Webster and Eugene, both of them were looking like they went into shock from what they were seeing: their fellow men covered in food and looking like they were having the best times of their lives. We didn't know what to do, since we were all so dirty compared to the both of them. So I pointed with my finger that was all red from sauce and the both of them looked at me with wide eyes.

"Get them!" I screamed out, the rest of the men all aiming at the both of them and throwing the food. Webster slipped onto the floor from being bombard with spaghetti and Eugene ducked, running over to a overturned table and also getting covered in food.

"Get Webster and Doc!" Babe screamed aloud as we were getting them both covered in food. Webster starting throwing back, but was bombarded with brownies to the face. We all went back to throwing our food at each other as I ran over to him, seeing covered his head from being hit by brownies. He looked up at me, face covered in mash potatoes now and giving me a glare. I winked at him as he then grabbed some spaghetti from the front of his jacket.

"You wouldn't, not to your fiancé!" I warned him over the loud noises, though no one else heard. He just grinned at me and threw, having me yell out in shock and then throw my brownie back at him. I scooped up some sauce and aimed for his black hair. He grabbed me by my jacket, pulling me over to him as he smothered my face with the spaghetti sauce that was one his own face.

"You're not playing fair!" I retorted as I moved the sauce from my eyes in front of him. He just winked at me.

"You never do!" He replied, having em shove the brownie in his face and see him shove it off within a second. We both laughed at the antics we were showing on each other, our faces covered with food and wide smiles on our faces. I snuck in a kiss on his lips, only to distract him as I shoved the brownies in his hair and he groaned against my lips. He grabbed my jacket with both hands, shoving me down gently on the floor where most of the mash potatoes were and was getting my back all dirty.

"Payback!" he proclaimed to me, though I stuck my tongue out at him. Nothing else really mattered, not to me. I was going home, I was having the time of my life with Easy Company before we would all separate, and I was going to marry Eugene Roe.

Life was good.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: When I wrote the food fight segment, I said the Opera Carmen playing in my head <strong>**Carmen Suite No. 1: Les toréadors****, so I dare you to do the same! It sounds amazing! **

**I'm about to wind this story down and MAYBE do another Band of Brothers where the leading lady is a spy this time! Let me know what you think of within the reviews! thanks for reading and more to come! **


	41. Chapter 41

"Welcome home." I stepped off the ramp and held my army bag over my shoulder as I looked around me, seeing the tall New York buildings and the smog surrounding them. After we had our infamous food fight, we were caught by Winters and one of the ship officers, and we had to resort to cleaning the whole mess hall in our hands and knees before we went to bed that night. Even though it was a pain for all of us to clean up the mess, we all knew it was worth it.

We were home, back in America and back on familiar soil again. It was so different compared to the high hills of Austria, or even the bass amount of green in Germany when we would go into battle. But now, all, I could see, was cornet skyscrapers and loud talking from the people around us as we were coming off the ship. Everything was loud, loud and fast around us compared to the quietness and slow moving life that was in Austria. There were people everywhere around us, other soldiers from other ships coming off and bolting to the cabs and train station.

I remembered being on this same dock about a year ago, going on a ship and heading to Europe. But now there was nothing else tying us there, though when we are looking at the docks and the people there, we all felt out of place. It was like we were foreigners in our own country, some of us were happy to be there, and others were confused about what was going to come next. I stayed close to Joe and Eugene, along with Babe and Bull as we were all standing together and looking around.

"What's next?" I asked the group of guys aloud, seeing them all look around too and feel so small compared to the skyscrapers and buildings. Joe, Eugene and I were on the 4:00 train that was going to go to the south up to end in San Francisco, the same train route we took three years ago. Babe and Bull had their own train at 5:00 that was going back to Philly, so we all had a few hours to kill.

"I need a drink." Joe grumbled as we stood together as a group of four.

"Same here, I forget how busy New Yorkers are, not to mention rude." Babe said in agreement.

"Let's go to a bar and hang out for a bit," I suggested to the four of them, "Webster lives here. He can show us where we can go for a drink."

"I'll go get him." Bull grumbled, moving away from us with his own bag and weaving in and out around the crowded dock area of soldiers and people waiting for their loved ones. I stayed close to Eugene, our fingers lacing together and I looked at him to see how he was doing. He looked out of his own element, with the bustling of soldiers and people around us, the loud noises above and below us, and how it was all moving so fast. Eugene looked like a deer in headlights, frozen in his spot and not moving an inch.

"You okay?" I asked him quietly, seeing him gulp and taking a deep breath.

"Yeah." He nodded his head feverishly, though I squeezed his hand. I figured we needed to find a bar that was less crowded and less of a noise factor. Bull walked back with Webster right behind him.

"Garcia, Sisk, and Buck are hopping on the train right now. A bunch of us are going to go over there and say bye, you guys wanna go?" Bull asked us, having me suddenly feel the sadness wash over me. My breath was shallow again, since it was Shifty all over again. It was the start of the goodbyes.

"Come on, we're gonna say bye." Joe urged us as we started to weave our way through the crowded area and I stayed close to Eugene. He was quiet throughout the walk over to the train station, and I could tell he didn't want to say goodbye either. Did Joe? Even Babe? What were they feeling? Was it the same as me? I had no clue, nor did I want to ask. I just wanted the pain in my heart to stop.

The pain of saying goodbye to my brothers.

"I'll see you soon, Buck." I reassured him as he hugged me close, having to duck a bit since he was still towering over me. I pulled away and looked up at his crystal blue eyes. They were tainted with the pain of seeing Joe Toye and Guarnene wounded with no legs, and I wouldn't blame him. He was still kind hearted to me, but it was less since he was still recovering himself.

"You better. Write to me, will ya? Let me know how that book's coming." He said to me, having me nod as he then hugged the rest of the men. Sisk was next. He as tiny compared to Buck, but he gave me a hug himself and I grinned into his jacket.

"Stay out of trouble, Jem." He advised me, though it sounded like it was trying to be a father more than a friend. I giggled, pulling away and seeing his young face in front of me. I would miss his face, how naive it looked and filled with hope.

"You too." I replied back to him. After he went on to say goodbye to Eugene, Garcia gave me a hug as well and I held him close. This was harder than I thought since Garcia was none the else kind to me compared to some of the other members of our Company.

"Come out to Texas when you get a chance, when you get sick of the Bay." Garcia urged me as we were hugging there by his train.

"I will, and I'll bring Joe here and drag his ass out." I replied, hearing Garcia laugh as we pulled away from each other. It was hard for me to say goodbye to those three, though I knew I would have to say goodbye to more and more as we were slowly leaving on our own trains. The group of us watched from our spots on the platform as their train moved away, already having me threaten to cry since they were looking out their windows to watch us when they were riding off on the track. Three down and plenty of more to go.

"Come on, I want that drink."

* * *

><p>We all sat together in a smaller bar in the city, not going too far away from the station only to keep an eye on the time. It was myself, Webster, Eugene, Joe, Bull, Babe and Luz and we were all sitting together at a longer table near the back of the bar. We all looked out of place, still in our dressed uniform but out hats were off and placed on the table, saying nothing for a while but just sitting together. Everyone else around us were talking and chatting as if nothing else was going on in their lives. But not us, we didn't need to say anything, because the reality was sinking into us like a drug that we wanted to reject from my system.<p>

I looked at every person at the table, all of them were just thinking to themselves and not saying a word or two with their beers in front of them on the table. Webster's look was more contemplated, a softer look in his eyes as his fingers were wrapping and unwrapping around his beer glass. Babe looked more agitated, almost like he was in pain already from what was going to happen. Bull was more content with his stare, staring at his beer and not off in the distance like the rest of us. Joe, typical him, was looking a little angrier than content as he sat next to me with his eyebrows knitted together like he was trying so hard no to yell out in anger. Eugene was the one that looked more calm, still holding my hand under the table and having the same look of concentration that he would use when he was out on the field. Lastly, Luz looked miserable as he was sitting across from me, not saying anything to make the situation lighter and less awkward. That was a first for him, but it still scared me none the less.

A song came up over sounds of the people there in the bar. Someone was playing on the piano with another person at the guitar, the both of them singing together softly. I listened to hear what song it was though the noises of the bar was draining out most of it. But I heard the lyrics, having me realize what song it was: _Goodnight Irene._ I heard this song plenty of times back in San Francisco with some of the musical people there, playing out on their porches or on street corners. It was a lovely song, nice and slow to hear after a chaotic day. It reminded me of childhood, when I would run from corner to corner in the hot summer days with laughter upon on my lips. I remebered the lyrics like it was engraved in my brain,

"_Irene, Goodnight_

_Irene Goodnight_

_Goodnight, Irene_

_Goodnight, Irene_

_I'll see you in my dreams." _I sang out softly from my spot between Eugene and Joe. The boys looked over at me now as I sang along with the music that was heard softly in the bar. It sounded like a haunted melody over anything else, but I sang it none the less. I don't know why I did, but I just wanted to, better than being silent.

"_Sometimes I live in the country,_" Luz sang along with his, though his voice was sounding a bit lighter now as the music went on, "_Sometimes I live in town. Sometimes I take a great notion, to jump in the river and drown._" He had a smile back on his face as we sang the chorus again, but now Bull joined us from his seat and we all sang together. No one moved, and no one really depressed at that point. We were smiling now, for some reason the song and us singing to it was making us less depressed and more optimistic since the song itself was less of a downer.

"_I love Irene, God knows I do,_

_I'll love her till the seas run dry, _

_But if Irene should turn me down,_

_I'd take the morphine and die." _Babe and Eugene joined in with the singing of that part of the song, smiles were plastered on our faces. It was slowly coming over us and making me lighter in our hearts, and we were looking more like a college group of friends than damaged war veterans. I loved seeing my friends there at the table smiling and grinning as they sang along with the song, even taking a few drinks from their beers once or twice as we were all singing together thing. Nothing else really mattered at that moment, not even knowing that within a few hours we were going to be serrated for how knows how long. I was going to hold onto this moment I had with them all before I knew it would be gone. Seeing their smiling faces, though they were hiding the damages and scars from the war, made it worthwhile.

"_Irene, Goodnight_

_Irene, Goodnight_

_Goodnight, Irene_

_Goodnight, Irene_

_I'll see you in my dreams._"

* * *

><p>I was holding the pile of addresses in my hand from the scraps of paper that the men gave me before we all separated. I was sitting in my seat in our cabin of the train, the sun going down along the mountainside as the train was going west along the southern states. It was hard enough to say goodbye to Bull, Webster, Luz, and Babe. However, I knew it was going to kill me from the inside out to say goodbye to Eugene. Now, I knew it was not permanent, but I also knew that it would be several weeks before we can see each other again.<p>

Luz was the hardest, since we practically hugged for a solid minute without speaking or doing anything. Luz was one of my closest friends there in the company, and he was off to Rhode Island for a new life. I considered him a dear friend, since he saved me in Foye and kept me going when I wanted to stop living. He was more than a man with jokes or a man with accents: He was a fierce friend and someone whom I would trust with my whole life. I cried then, hugging him tightly and wishing I wouldn't let him go. He hugged me back, reassuring me over and over that we would write to each other and visit once in awhile throughout the year. I was going to hold onto that promise, come hell or high water I was.

Looking over my shoulder to my left, I saw Eugene sitting next to me, looking at a newspaper he got from the station before we got on. He was concentrating, I could tell from the look on his face. Joe was across from us, in his own seat, fast asleep against the window like years before when we were on the same train going to New York.

"What's the paper saying about the war?" I asked Eugene as he was still reading next to me.

"Nothing short of the truth. Then again, they write like they were there and they knew what happened." Eugene explained, folding the paper up and placing it back on his lap. I chuckled from my spot next to him, leaning back in my seat in the cabin.

"Of course they would write like that. They have nothing else to do." I replied, seeing him smile from my comment and then look over at me, a hesitant look on his face as I watched him.

"What is it?" I asked him in wonder, since his face was giving me confusion and worry. Eugene said nothing at first, just scooted a bit closer to me so that our arms were touching and our legs too.

"I get off this train in two hours." He stated, having me see that this was bothering him because of how it came out of his mouth. I nodded my head slowly, though I said nothing, "And I have to act like I'm going back to my old life….I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"None of us are ready for that yet, Eugene," I reassured him softly, "I'm in no way ready to go back."

"How am I supposed to go back…when all I can see when I close my eyes is Bastogne…Foye…those camps?" Eugene said quietly, having me see that he was about to break in front of me from the mere thought of having more nightmares than he was used to. He knew he was going to be haunted, and it was killing me to see it on his face with his dark blue orbs and thin lips.

"You're gonna make it, Eugene. You're gonna be fine, because you're one of the strongest men I have ever met," I reassured him once again, my voice was bolder now as I spoke to him, "I don't want you to ever think that you won't make it through nights. Just think of me, remember?" Eugene smiled at me once again, the smile that brought me more peace throughout the war than anything else.

"I don't know how I'm going to say goodbye to you," I whispered to him, the mere thought of doing that was killing me from the inside out. I was not ready to let him go, even if it was for a short while. He was going to be the hardest to see walk away from me because I knew it was going to break my heart. Eugene shook his head then, seeing that I was about to cry from mentioning that dreaded moment that we both didn't want to experience just yet. He leaned over before I could say another word, pressing his lips against mine and I could fell the tears falling on my face. I hated being this weak, I hated being this emotional in front of others since I was so reckless and bold to begin with. But I had no other choice but to be emotional, since this war already broke down the walls I threatened to keep up.

Eugene kissed me in our spots on the train, the kiss the firm enough to be bold but gentle enough to calm me down. I kissed him back, not ready to speak just yet about the subject matter. After a solid minute of us holding that kiss, Eugene finally and painfully pulled away but not too far enough for me. He stared right at me, those blue eyes looking into my brown ones made me see his pain there too, the same pain of leaving me behind when he had to go to his own home.

"We have two hours, don't think about it yet, okay?" He simply asked, having me slowly nod my head as he gave me a small smile. After he wiped away the tears with his thumb, Eugene wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close as I rested my head on his shoulder, the both of us falling into silence and saying nothing more about the dreaded subject that was going to be a reality in two hours. I wanted these last few hours we would have together special since we had no idea when we would see each other again in the near future.

"I didn't know you could sing." I mentioned to him aloud, breaking the silence in the cabin. Eugene laced our fingers together in between us.

"I don't." Eugene answered back in a lighter tone.

"You do though, from what I heard in the bar you have a lovely voice," I explained to him in amusement as I finally looked up at him, seeing him watch me with a small smirk on his lips and a hint of a bush there on his cheeks, "And as I recall, when we were back Europe, you know how to sing in French. Screw construction, you should be a singer." Eugene laughed then, though it was soft enough not to wake up Joe, but it was still laughter there.

"No way in hell." He commented to me with lightness there in his voice and in his eyes.

"Oh, come on, Eugene. I think you would be a hit, since not only do you sound pretty, you're beyond handsome. Girls would fawn over you if they hear your voice." I complimented him.

"I'm not gonna woo any other women when I have you." He reassured me with a shrug of his shoulders, and out conversation, was back to behind light again. I have missed having light moments with Eugene, not filled with lust or passion that we were both growing accustomed to with each other, but just talking and being content with one another's stories and thoughts. It was like we were best friends again before we even became romantically involved.

If only it stayed this way.

* * *

><p>When we made it to the New Orleans train stop, I knew this was going to be the worst couple of minutes of my life. I walked with Eugene out to the train door that would lead him to the platform, though I would stay on the train there. He stood there near the door, having me see him watch me with his own bag in hand and the sad look he was giving me on his face. This was it, the one part of this whole shithole of a war that I knew I was going to hate and curse God for. He was going to go home, which was good, but I wasn't going to follow him, not yet. This must have been what it was like for any other couple when they had to separate for a short while. I reminded myself that this was not a solid separation: we were going to get married and live together for the rest of our lives. So why was this still hurting?<p>

"I'll see you soon." Eugene reassured me, though I could see it in his own eyes that this was so painful for him to leave me behind on a train. I nodded though I could feel my hands were shaking at my sides and my breathing was booming shallow before I could even try to cry. This was hurting me, way too much. God, I was such a sap. Eugene sighed in defeat, dropping his bag and engulfing me in his arms. I dug my head into his shoulder now, trying really hard not cry as he stroked my hair and pressed kisses against my forehead to calm me down. But I clung to his jacket, trying to engrave the feeling of his body against my own so that I can make it through the next week or two. I now hated the fact that I was in love because it was hurting too much to let him go.

"I love you, you know that right?" Eugene whispered into my hair when we heard one of the train conductors mention that we were going to move out for another minute or two, "We'll get married and live here, you and me. This is only for a short amount of time."

"I know." I murmured into his jacket, still refusing to let him go just yet.

"I promise, we'll be back together before you know it, okay?" He asked me in a low tone, hearing the last call to get off the train before it would move again. I pulled away from his jacket to see his face. Oh, his face, the same face I saw for the first time three years ago in a small medical cabin in Georgia. I wanted to remember his face most of all whenever I would get lonely or scared.

"I love you, Eugene, and I will see you soon," I promised him, seeing him give me one more smile before I would give him a kiss on the lips. He immediately returned it hotly, making the kiss deep and meaningful for the both of us. I gripped his jacket as I closed my eyes and tried to drink this all in. This was going to be okay, this had to be okay. I tried to repeat that over and over in my head as the kiss ended and I opened my eyes.

Eugene gave me one last smile before he released me, grabbing his bag and getting off the train without looking back at me. The doors closed and the train started to move, but I stayed by the window and I watched as he just stood still on the platform. His bag in hand, and a look of dread on his face as we kept locking eyes though I was moving away from him. I kept my eyes on Eugene though, all the way until I couldn't see him anymore.

Eugene was gone.

I sighed in defeat myself, finally turning away from the window as we were back in the countryside again, chugging along the tracks and I slowly moved to go back to my cabin with Joe. But as I turned to walk down the hall, I saw Joe already outside our cabin in the hallway, leaning against the wall and watching me with his own pair of concerned eyes. He was watching the whole thing but said nothing. I didn't have the heart to ask him not to say a word since my own heart was ripped to pieces at this point. I walked over to him slowly, saying nothing but feeling it all over my body and fingers and toes. When I was close enough to him, I just stood there and said nothing to him. But Joe just stared, he could see it in my stance and how I was staring away from him, that I was in pain.

"Come here, Jemmie." He pulled me into his arms, hugging me there in the hallway as I sobbed into his jacket. This was the kind of pain that I never wished on anyone, nor myself when it came to being in the war. I could take being shot at, I could take having scars and scabs, but not seeing someone I loved moving away from me and I had nothing else to do or any way of keeping him there. Sure I knew we would be united again, but it still hurt like a bitch.

The pain was beginning, and I wanted it to stop.

* * *

><p>I woke up from another dream from the war. It was when we were back in the French town, me back on my table and healing from the airborne attack, and Eugene was kissing me. I was back in the cabin on our train, Joe was asleep with his head on my lap and the rest of his body propped up on the seated bench. My own head was against the window, but I blinked a few times and rubbed my eyes with my knuckles to see where we were. The train was slowing down, it was nearly sunrise since I fell asleep the day before.<p>

After crying to Joe, we both went back to out cabin, just the two of us, and we sat there throughout the night into the next day. I was still hurting from leaving Eugene behind in Louisiana, but I have stopped crying after an hour or so and fell asleep in the cabin. The rest of the time there on our way home, I was reading the old books that I had with me, along with looking out the window. Joe knew I need space, so we hardly talked. It pained me that I was pushing him away since he wanted to take care of me then.

I looked around outside the window and it was all looking familiar again. Odd, but familiar. I remembered seeing the same trees, the same buildings that were there at the train station that we were on once. I nudged Joe awake, seeing him grumble a bit in my lap as he got up slowly from his sleeping position.

"What is it?" He asked me in a groggy tone. I was still looking out the window as the train came to a slow stop. It was all coming back to me, that day three years ago when we came onto the train with hopes and adventure in our hearts. I stayed still, though my mind started to race in a constant rate.

"We're home."


	42. Chapter 42

Joe and I stood in front of our house as the taxi rode off behind us down the street to disappear. We were looking, saying nothing at first and just breathing in the San Francisco air once again. Our house looked the same, the brick house that was two stories with the dirty windows and the small patch of a garden in the front, the white fence in front of the both of us with the gate closed. It was hidden in the small amount of shade from the other houses down the line on the street though I was looking at the house like it wasn't even my own home. It looked the same, smelled the same, but it didn't feel the same.

"You ready to go in there?" I asked him hesitantly, finding my voice for the first time since we left the train station and rode in the cab with silence between us. We both were looking out the windows the whole time we rode home, seeing what changed and what stayed the same. So why did it feel like we were driving through a new neighborhood?

"Not really." Joe breathed out, rearranging his bag that was over his shoulder, then seeing him looking over at me and I looked back. He looked older, beyond older with the shades of darkness under his eyes from the nightmares and plagued memories. Some wrinkles were seen here and there on his face, having me wonder how I looked compared to him since I had scars there still on my face from Foye.

"What about you?" He asked, a simple question that shouldn't be scaring me. I wondered why I was so scared to go back into my own house since this was my parents that I was fearing on seeing. But then again, it felt like pulling teeth going into that house again to see my parents, our parents.

"I don't know just yet." I murmured back to him, looking back at the house and taking in a shaky breath. If only Eugene was here to hold my hand, to tell me with his low but reassuring tenor of a voice that I was strong enough to get through this. We both went through the gate now, Joe going first up the path and I followed as we marched up the wooden porch steps and then stopped in front of the door. Joe placed his hand on the door handle, turning it slowly and opening it. I took in another breath, trying to remind myself that this was safe, this was real, and nothing was touching us that would bring us pain.

The hallway in our house changed a bit though the same pictures of the Liebgott children scattered on the wall and the rug that was out on the wooden floor. I breathed in the same air the house had: old wood from the walls, the flowers from the garden seeping in from the windows, the same tainted scent of leather from the couches, and our mother's cooking of what was a cake. It was a bit darker in the hallway, the dining room and kitchen to our left in the open archway and the living room to the right. Joe and I stood in the hallway, not moving to drinking in that we were home.

We were home.

I looked over to the table that was against the wall that was attached to the stairs, seeing a set of letters there spread out like they were on display. I knew those letters: Joe and I wrote them while we were in the war. Another item was there on the letters, an old picture of Joe and I that our father took before we left, two days before to be exact. We were laughing, arms around each other's shoulders and looking at the picture taker with bright eyes.

We could hear voices in the kitchen, the both of us slowly walking over to the sound and seeing the small cramped kitchen. There was our mother, working at the kitchen counter and wearing her apron that she would always wear when she would cook. God, seeing her again was like seeing a ghost or being in such a bad dream. Her brown hair that was a shade darker than my own, up in a messy bun being her head and her delicate hands working on what looked like a roasted chicken. She was wearing her mint tea dress, low heels with the stockings and her face was still beyond beautiful for her age.

She wasn't alone though, our younger sister, Delilah was with her and chopping what looked like salad in a bowl. Although she was younger, she looked like a wife already with her won dress on and the beauty of her face. She was gorgeous still with her unique shade of brown and the light brown of her eyes. There was some flour on her face and along her long arms as she was working on her salad though Joe took another step on the hardwood floor with broke the silence. Delilah looked up then, and once she saw the both of us, her eyes went wide and she was frozen in her spot. Joe and I waited, at the edge of the kitchen and Delilah let out a shaky breath now, almost like she forgot how to breathe normally.

"Ma…" She started, her voice almost choking yet it was sounding heavenly to hear it already after three years. Our mom didn't move, still working on the chicken and too occupied with what she was doing to look over her shoulder.

"_Mutter_." (Mother.) Delilah said again in a bolder tone, and it was then our mother looked since we would never used the German term unless it was an emergency. She looked at us too, and the knife that was in her hand fell to the floor. Our mother, her beautiful face and eyes that I dreamed about for many nights overseas to bring me comfort, was breaking into tears now as she saw her two twin children there, in their army uniforms, in her house again.

"_Meine Kinder._" (My children.) She gasped out in a broken tone as I smiled at her because just hearing her voice was enough of a reality for me. She walked over to us slowly as if this was still not enough to convince her that this was real for her. Finally, she wrapped her arms around Joe and he dropped his bag to the floor, hugging my mother and they hugged there in front of me. My mother started crying into my brother's jacket since he was a bit taller than her though my brother was silent the whole time he hugged her.

"You're home, and you're safe." She said to him in a muffled tone.

"I am, Ma. I'm okay." Joe replied back to him in his own brokenness though I was just fine watching them from my spot behind him. Delilah walked over from her spot in the kitchen, washing her hands with her won apron and smiling with tears in her own eyes when mother moved away from Joe. She smiled at him, the motherly smile I was missing and needing these past hours. It was when she looked at me though, when I felt like I was being exposed in front of her. She saw my face, the pain was there in her eyes as she walked over to me, Joe and Delilah hugging behind mother and talking to each other in hushed murmurs.

My mother framed my face, her worn but fragile fingers touching my scars as her eyes were looking over each one. I was no ready for this, for her to see the battle scars that almost killed me and threatening to damage me forever. I stood still, though I could feel myself shaking from being watched by her. She finally looked at me, having me notice the small amount of green in her eyes and how they sparkled in the sun that was coming in through the window onto her face. Delilah and Joe watched her as mother sighed in both relief and defeat in front of me.

"My sweet summer child, you are still so beautiful." She said to me with her heavy Austrian accent. Just hearing that made me break down in tears, the test hitting my scars on my cheeks and jawline. She still saw me as radiant though I thought I looked ugly enough to me turned away. But not my mother, she was still in love with me as a parent would.

"You're home now, it's alright," mother reassured me as I cried in front of her, trying to hide my face in my spare hand and not have her see me this broken. She gently grabbed my army bag and placed it on the floor before moving my hand from my face with her delicate and aging fingers. I sniffled a bit, the streak spots on my cheek and my red eyes were making this worse since I chose that moment to cry in front of my mother. I looked at her now, seeing tears in her own eyes, but she was silent with a small smile on her face.

"Never hide your face from me, Jemima. Don't hide away from me." She urged me, her voice was soothing to hear after being away for three years. I was used to hearing her in dreams, in flashes in my mind after a seizure or two, or when my mind would play tricks on me when I would listen to the wind. She was home for me then, and I smiled back at her as she framed my face with her motherly hands.

I was safe.

* * *

><p>"Jemmie." I snapped back to reality again, once again dosing off in front of my brother Anthony who was sitting with me out in the backyard, "You were doing it again." It was a warm afternoon, the sun was beaming down on the house once again as I was trying to, once again, focus on something else then the pain of the war.<p>

Anthony and my father came home a few minutes after Joe and I arrived, and we hugged there in the living room. Anthony was so much older now, just coming from seeing his girlfriend after Delilah phoned him to tell him we came home. He was taller than me, not as tall as Joe, but just as skinny with his own Liebgott nose. Our father made my heart break since as soon as he saw us in the living room, he fell to his knees in tears of joy. I joined him on the floor, holding him since I had no more tears to spill out for him. He cradled me close as if I was a child again, kissing my hair over and over in thankfulness that his daughter was home safe and sound.

We ate dinner that night, and ever though there were smiles all around the table with our parents, Joe and I, and the rest of our siblings who joined us that night, it was still odd to be there with them and not with Easy. Our parents didn't ask too many questions, they could see Joe and I were trying to get our feet back on the ground. I was quiet from then one out, only saying a few words here and there, mainly because I would have a silent seizure one or twice a day. Two days after we came home, and I was still zoning out every day at least three times.

"_Ich war_?" (I was?) I asked him hesitantly, seeing him give me a small smile and a nod of his head. I sighed, looking at my folded hands in my lap.

"How many times has it been then, you having this seizure?" Anthony asked me carefully. He came over that day from being in his own apartment on the other side of town, where he lived with two of his buddies.

"It's constant now since I've come home. Ma wants me to see a doctor, but it's okay." I reassured him though his own dark brown orbs were pouring into my own. He looked more like Joe than I did, the lanky long face, the pointed nose, and the small mop of brown hair on his head. He looked like Joe when Joe was at least 26 years old though Anthony himself was 29 now.

"She worries, you know how Ma is. Ever since you and Joe came home, you two are all she talks about," Anthony explained to me as he drank some of his tea in front of him from his own mason jar, "When you two were gone, your letters brought her comfort….even the one letter when you talked about the camp—"

"I don't wanna talk about that." I snapped at him softly, seeing him go quiet and I closed my eyes in grief over the haunted memory of what happened in Germany.

"You need to," Anthony reminded me carefully now, having me open my eyes and look over at him again, "She read us the letter as soon as it came to the house, Jemmie. We know what happened, and we prayed that whole night. Even Sarah Jean prayed, Delilah's fiancé came over and joined us."

"How thoughtful of you." I muttered.

"Don't start with that, Jemmie. Don't you dare. We know it killed you, along with Joe. We may have grieved over here in America, but you saw it yourself, you experienced it." Anthony warned me in a bold tone. I nodded in agreement. There was no use of telling Anthony to leave it alone and to have it lie dead. I heard the back door open, seeing Delilah, Henry and Elizabeth walk out onto the porch and stand in front of us at the table. Elizabeth had a bit of a rounder face than the rest of us though her hair was braided back and her hazel eyes were contrasted with her brown locks that framed her face. Henry, my youngest brother, was handsome now in his age with the smooth skin and the jawline that reminded me of Webster, along with his almost crystallized brown eyes.

"Where's Joe?" I asked them all softly.

"He's asleep again. This time on the couch," Henry explained to me as he sat down in the spare chair, the other two doing the same silently, "He still won't sleep in his own bed."

"Still?" Anthony asked in disbelief.

"Won't go near it. Something threw him off about sleeping in the bed and he's not gonna do it. We've tried, but you know how he is." Elizabeth explained in almost a hiccup, Henry grasping her hand for support.

"Jemmie?" Delilah asked me aloud in a sheepish tone from across the table. I looked over at her with a soft smile on my face though her face was still looking rather grim as she pointed to my face.

"Tell me…tell me about the scars?" She asked me, almost like she was afraid like she was going to say the wrong thing. I paused, seeing how innocent she sounded and not poking fun at me. Was I ready to talk about those haunting memories yet? It was still fresh for me because the past two days were all about me getting nightmares and gasping for some kind of air as I woke up. Would they understand? How could I asked that of them, they are my siblings and they loved me beyond words.

"I don't think she's ready for that yet, Delilah." Anthony advised her with his brotherly tone, but I shook my head as he looked over at me now in a small smooth of shock on his face.

"It's fine," I replied back to him, then looking at Delilah and seeing her watch me now with the intensity in her eyes. I took in a deep breath, placing my hands on my table in front of me and seeing the long scar on the top of my one hand from Carentan. It would always be a reminder to me, a constant one that was telling me I made it and I was alive.

"We were stationed in Foye, it's a small area in Germany during the wintertime and it was beyond cold, snow everywhere and below freezing," I explained to her calmly, "I was at a medical station that we made because of all of the wounded soldiers we were getting in the war. At the time, we had no hospital to go to, not even enough supplies to last us for a couple of days. It was why we had the tent. Anyways, I was at the tent with two soldiers, my close friends in the Company and the medical tent was bombed by an airborne attack from the Germans." All of their eyes went wide when I told them this news.

"I was cut up pretty bad there, a busted hip and a dislocated shoulder. I was cut up all over my face from the assault, and I ended up in a foxhole with a tree trunk covering me. If I wouldn't have made it to the foxhole, I would have died, along with my two friends." I took in another shaky breath, seeing it all again in my head and how I saw the tent go into flames and kill all who were inside. Oh God, Alice. Her face lit my mind and I felt another tear hit my cheek and roll down my chin onto the table.

"Jemmie…" Henry said in almost a mourning tone from seeing me cry.

"My friend Alice was in that tent, she died instantly. She was innocent….such a pretty thing." I trailed off again, no longer wanting to talk about that anymore and I blinked a few more times to get the rest of the tears away. Anthony finally grasped my hand in his and squeezed it hard to show that he was right there for me if he needed it.

"You don't have to tell us anymore if you don't want to," Elizabeth reassured me gently, having me then shake my head and look at each one of my siblings that were there in front of me. My goodness, they have grown since Joe and I left them for war. They were so mature there in front of me, not long having any sign of innocence on their faces, it was like they had to grow up in order to survive without Joe and I.

"I want to, it'll make me feel worse if I don't." I explained to her. So I retold them all that I went through with the war. I started the tale in Camp Toccoa, then how I jumped in Normandy and all of the battles I went through. They all listened, not saying a word at all as I then talked about the camps we found, though it made my own voice wavy just talking about it again because it was still so raw and real. There was more to tell them: the bitter cold of Bastogne and Foye, the German soldier that attacked me in the French town and how I was shot by another American Soldier who was drunk. By the time I was finished with the battle tale of the war, the sun was slowly dying down along the Bay waters and the air was getting nice and cool then.

"But what about the men you wrote about, the ones you mentioned in the letters you wrote to ma?" Delilah asked me then after I finished all that I told them, war wise. I was surprised she mentioned the letters I was sending to our mom.

"How do you know about the letters?" I asked in curiosity, not in agitation, "You read them?"

"Ma would reading them whenever she would get them in the mail, she would read them aloud to us." Henry explained to me in a reply. I smiled slightly then, seeing her doing such a thing in hopes to keep the spirits up in our family. She was always a trooper, our mother. I was glad Delilah mentioned the men, something that was more uplifting to talk about when it came to the war than the war itself.

"I don't quite know where to start," I said, almost to myself but loud enough for the others to hear as I tried to think of who I should talk about first, "My major, Dick Winters, was one of the best leaders in the army. Hands down, knew what he was doing and how to take care of us in his Company. He was kind enough to be more like a big brother to me compared to the rest of the guys." I then tell them about the rest of Easy and how they each had their own little quirks about them. I explained how Nixon was kind though he was a drinker, Spiers was mysterious but a great leader, Lipton was stern but good-hearted, Perconte and his knack from a running mouth and edgy attitude, Webster and his knowledge of books and charm. I went one with Bull and his wild side of combat, O'Keefe and his innocence, Guarnene with his brash mouth, Toye with his bitter attitude from time to time, Malarky with his genuine heart and leadership, Popeye with his wide-eyed optimism, and Luz with his humor.

Of course, I would save Eugene for the last with them though before I could even talk about him, they jumped the gun. At this point, it was now dark with the moon creeping over the sky and the chill in the air was no longer warm, but it was warm enough for me to bear. Hell, anything was warm enough compared to Bastogne.

"What about Eugene?" Anthony asked me in interest though his voice was still so quiet enough not to be too bold. I grinned at the mere mention of his name though it was still hurting me that he was not there with me but on the other side of the country. They should know about him, they had every right since they are my siblings.

"Well….I'll start with the beginning I guess."

* * *

><p>I walked down the stairs that night, around 1 in the morning and having no sign of sleepiness on me. As soon as I closed my eyes in my own bed, I could hear people calling out to me, calling out "Medic". It was a chant, constant and deafening as I was trying so hard to think of something else, anything else. It was too hard for me to even sleep since I was too seeing images of me running through the towns and almost getting shot at, over and over. Gunfire in my ears, flashes of shots and explosion behind my eyes, it was all too much. I only gasped for the air when I woke up, no longer screaming like I thought I would since I have done that before.<p>

After I told my siblings about Eugene, they were all enraptured by him though I was surprised by their reactions. Something inside of me thought that they would even reject the ideas of me falling for someone while I was away at war, but they took it real lightly and never had any doubt in me. Delilah and Elizabeth were already smitten by him and how I would describe our love for each other, while Henry and Anthony were more amazed at how Eugene was a great medic and a good soldier, though they both were also impressed with our relationship. After I told them all that I wanted to, I made them promise not to say a word about Eugene to either our mom or dad. I would find the right time to tell them, and they gave me their word.

So now at one in the morning, I was wandering through the house and going to the living room with only the small amount of light from the street lamp coming in front the window. The cool breeze from the Bay and rolling hills was coming into the room now that I was in the hallway near the living room and the front door. But there was some light from the living room, a hint of gold and auburn glow that was painting the walls there and having me look around the corner from the opened archway to see what it was. There was a fire going in the fireplace, the only sound was of the fire crackling there in the fireplace and I wonder why there was a fire going on this early in the morning. But I saw someone on the couch, sitting there and looking at the fire in almost a daze and not moving an inch.

Slowly, I walked over, not making any noise because of my bare feet on the hardwood floor. I walked behind the couch, moving over to the right and then finding the face of who it was on the couch: Joe. I watched him from my spot on the side of the couch, seeing his face and how he has looked worse since we came home. No wonder he wasn't sleeping in his own bed since I could see the nightmares there behind his brown eyes and in his brain. Bags were under his eyes, his stance on the couch was lagging like he was too tired to sit up straight. Something was haunting him, I could feel it by just looking at him.

"Joe," I called out to him softly, seeing him blink once before looking right at me now from his spot on the couch. His eyes were dark, far gone from being warm and filled with comfort. I sighed in defeat from seeing him, walking over to him and sitting next to him now. He was much like a ghost then, still not saying a word to me as I watched him from next to him.

"I can't sleep anymore." He said in a miserable tone.

"_Wieso?_" (Why?) I asked him softly, seeing him close his eyes in defeat then and the tears fell freely from his closed eyes onto his bagged skin.

"The camps….all I can see are the camps." He choked out, having me reach out to him and grab him by the shoulders. I pulled him into my arms, his head against my shoulder and crying there on the couch to the point of shaking within my embrace. I raked one hand through his hair and the other holding him close, trying to calm him but knowing it was no use. He was being plagued by the camps, all of the people there and how they died merely because they were Jews, Poles, Gypsies and other things. It was not fair for them to die, and even worse for us to merely see and not do a damn thing about it. Joe was suffering, and although I too was suffering from the war, I had to focus on my brother now. He was crying into my shoulder now, his sobs were soft in the living room as I just held him there. A tear fell from my eye and hit his hair as I wondered.

When will we be healed?


	43. Chapter 43

I waited in the waiting room sat the Doctor's office, curious to see what he was going to tell me now since my mother now practically dragged me away from the house over to the office to check up on me and my seizures, along with the sleepless nights and the constant flashes of nightmares. Ever since I saw Joe's breakdown that night, two weeks ago, it was a constant cycle for the both of us to just get through the day and be able to breathe.

For starters, the nights were far too long since neither one of us could sleep. I only saw the attack on Foye, the foxhole I almost died in and the medical station on fire. Joe saw the concentration camps, himself trying to kill the German officer, and other things that blinded him from reality. It pained me not to sleep since I tried to think of anything else that would bring me joy. However, it was no use for me. I would wake up screaming sometimes from seeing the tent on fire, or just seeing the woman's camp in Germany and the countless children with shaved heads and big eyes pleading for help. Joe still wouldn't sleep in his bed, he ended up making a cot on the floor next to the bed frame. Something about being in his bed again brought him grief.

Another thing that was a constant was seeing flashed images around me when I would do something random or meaningless. Something as simple as washing the dishes would be a disaster, since I would hear a gunfire go off in my ear from a past memory and the plate would end up on the floor in pieces and my hands over my ears to block out the cries of the dying soldiers and the gunfire that threatened to make me cry. Joe almost collapsed on the ground walking down the street with myself and our mother because he saw a flashing of the sun rays across his eyes, and it reminded him of the battles and how the bullets would fly past us within an inch from our noses.

Needless to say, we both were dragged to the Doctor's by our mother.

My father, mother and Joe were in the other room, waiting for me as I waited for the doctor come back. It made me think, sitting there in the office after two weeks of being home and trying to get my life back to normal, how that was really going to be possible. I didn't want to live with my parents anymore, well, not in the same house. For some reason, with my mother breathing down my back all the time to see if I was eating again or sleeping, I was feel suffocated and constrained to her when I have all the freedom of just walking down a road when I was in the war. I needed that freedom back, I craved that freedom. Hell, Joe needed it too, he was just as bad as I was when it came to trying to get back to a normal life.

The door opened and I saw the male doctor coming into the room, closing the door softly and then holding my thick file in his hand. I was a regular here at the local doctor's office, thanks to the brilliance of my Epilepsy and the constant scary episodes of my mother and father. So compared to the other patients there, I was more of a regular attendee who was a local legend amongst the doctors and nurses. This doctor, named Dr. Vesby, was in his older fifties and he has been my personal doctor since I was around 5 years old. A kind man, gentler in giving me news than others. I liked him.

"Jemima, after going through the evaluation on you and your brother, there are some signs that are showing that you two do indeed have PTSD." He explained to me calmly, placing the thick file on the table next to me as I drank in the new information he gave me. I knew he was never one to play with emotions or lie to make someone feel better, but he was also a kind enough doctor to not have the reality be a death blow. I nodded slowly, my skinny fingers on my lap and tapping my dress that I was wearing and I could feel this new piece of information about me sinking under my skin and making me feel worse about myself.

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." I voiced it out slowly, seeing him nod his head as he sat in the chair across from me.

"It's common for soldiers and nurses who come back from the war, more common than you think. It all depends on what the soldier went through that makes the PTSD mild or severe. Now from what I gathered with what you told me, and the tests I ran on you, it's more severe with you and your brother, though his is along the medium level which is still too high." He explained to me in his doctor tone and flow of tone.

"And how long is this gonna take for me to get over it?" I asked him in confusion, thinking it was a temporary thing.

"It also depends on you. Those who are suffering from this disorder can have it for months, and other for years and years. There is no definite end to it, but there is a constant care to make it less stressful for the person affected by it." He explained some more to me with his kind smile on his face. I wished I could have smiled, not nothing was happening to me then. Was I going to go through this for awhile? How long was awhile? What about Joe? As strong as he was, he was also fragile enough to let something like this kill him in the end. Dr. Vesby grabbed my file and opened it, having me see him read it with his handwriting in there and my name at the very top.

"You are seeing flashbacks of what you went through with your tour in Europe, flashes of events that are taking over your everyday actives, nightmares every night of events, you're losing weight that is affecting your mood and sleep cycle, and you're startled easily with small enough sounds." He informed me as he the now looking at the file and having me trying and remember if every one of those things were in fact me.

"What's going to happen to me, Doc?" I asked him in almost a mourning kind of manner. I hated this, thinking that I was going to continue on with my suffering for some time now and it was going to make me sick. Dr. Vesby looked at me now, closing my file and then folding his hands in front of him.

"You are going to have a long journey ahead of you, trying to get back into your normal life again. I suggest that you try and go back into your old routine again: going back to work at the hospital with a low key kind of a schedule, read some more and get your mind to relax, and be with your family." He replied.

"But there's not definite time when this will be over?" I pressed on, hoping to hear something that would be in my favor, but it was a long shot. I studied enough in books to know that something that was involving the mind and the tricks it would play on a person was going to take more than a few weeks to take care of the problem. It wasn't like a broken bone that needed a cast, or a scrape that needed a bandage, this was worse.

"I don't know, Jemima. I just don't know."

I walked out into the waiting room and I saw Joe and my parents there, waiting for me and seeing me with their own eyes of sadness. Joe was still struggling himself, sitting in the chair in a rigid manner and having one hand on his face and the other on his lap, just…haunting himself there and not saying a word or two. My mother and father were looking at me to see what they doctor told me, just I said nothing as I looked at the both of them. They could tell, with just my eyes, how bad it was. My mother was almost on the verge of tears as I father breathed out slowly. I looked at him, more than just my mother. It wasn't that I loved my father more and my mother less, but I wanted to see how my father was doing with the whole situation. He looked over at my mother, and then at Joe who was zoning out again and then got up from his chair.

"Let me take the both of you somewhere."

* * *

><p>Joe, my father and I walked along the park sidewalk that was cutting through the green lawn that we were at. I remembered this park, we would come here constantly as children in the afternoons after church or when we were done with school early. I loved this park when I was younger: The tall trees that were flowing over the sidewalk, the bay along the right and hearing the sea break into the small beach, seeing the wildflowers that would sprout along the trees and the clovers in the grass. It looked like heaven, yet we were adults now and it felt more like a haunting memory instead of a safe place.<p>

The three of us walked slowly, I was in the middle and holding both my father's hand and Joe's hand. Joe was quiet too, looking dead ahead and almost like he would collapse from the energy that was lost during endless nights of nightmares, and his eyes were still holding onto past grudges and pains that were there that I knew he wanted to erase.

"I don't think I told either from you this, but your mother and I brought you two here right after you were born," father explained with his own thick accent and how lovely it sounded, more deep and soothing compared to my mother's whom was soft and mystical, "After the doctors told us about what happened with you, Jemima, he advised to get you two out to the park. At first we didn't know why, but he reassured us that it would good for the both of you to get some nature."

I eyed him at this point, seeing him look out in front of him and I noticed how he looked so different. Compared to other the same age as my father, he was looking more weathered. I noticed his own hands, the callousness there because of cutting people's hair over and over and using his hands to work on the repairs in our house and his barber shop. His hair that was once a dirty blond shade was now slowly morphing into the gray and silver that was threatening to show his aging.

"You two loved this park, you knew it like the back of your hands," My father explained some more as we were making it over to the medium-sized bench that I remember sitting on countless times as a child with my father, the both of us sitting side by side and my father reading me a book. I loved those memories, since I was so innocent then and willing to be with my father, "However, ever since you came home, I could tell you too needed to find a place that reminded you of home."

"Not even our home?" I asked him in a curious manner.

"You haven't been happy enough at home." My father said back to me as we stood in front of the bench. The three of us standing there and not doing a single thing for a moment before Joe breathed in heavily.

"I'm gonna take a walk." Joe breathed out, my father smiling at him and I did the same as he walked away from the both of us and over to the small beach and the water. I watched him, seeing his hands shoved into his pants pockets and his walk was slow and lagging like he was carrying weight about himself as he moved along the grass.

"I worry about him, pop," I said to my father as the both of us sat down on the bench together, watching my brother and see him stand in front of the war by himself, "He hasn't been the same since the camps."

"He has every right, not to be the same," my father reminded me softly as we sat together on the bench. It was true, no one should stay the same after what we went through in the war. I felt bad though, the change was there in my own brother and how he was already trying to live when he was being held back by the disorder we both received earlier that day.

"I worry about you, Jemima." My father stated to me, having me finally look away from my brother and seeing my father watch me with with his wisdom filled orbs, "With all you went through over there, you are barely berthing now at home."

"It's hard to breathe sometimes, pa," I explained, "I can't shake what happened to me in my mind, even when I close my eyes…all I see is pain and death."

"I prayed for the both of you, but you the most. The pain you went through, in all those letters, it made me wonder if you were even going to survive." My father confessed to me, "I know it was not good for a father to think that his own daughter would die, I guess I never gave you enough credit with your own strength."

"Plenty of people underestimate me," I stated back to me, "You know that. No one ever thought I was going to make it past my 13th birthday because of the Epilepsy."

"Because your mother and I doubted your own strength, that was our sin," my father replied back with the fatherly boldness in his tone of voice, "You showed us, the more you grew, how much strength one person can have and how they can turn something that should be a burden into a true gift."

"You calling my seizures a gift?" I questioned him, not understanding where he was coming from.

"I am calling your will for survival a gift, a gift from God. You never have shown defeat before when it came to your seizures, that's more courage than anyone else could ever have in their life. You're far more courageous than your mother and I, even more than your brother." I looked back at Joe again when my father mentioned Joe, seeing him still standing against the waters and not moving.

"He's told me that before, when we were out in the field," I explained to my father, "Eugene told me that too." My father grinned when I mentioned Eugene, having me see a smile for the first time on his face when we went out that day to the doctor's office.

"Tell me about Eugene, I want to know more about him." He suggested to me in a lighter tone now, no longer serious.

"What do you wanna know?" I asked.

"When you first fell in love with him." I shot him a shocked look, seeing him just give me a soft look to me, as if he knew that he was instantly right. He knew, for some reason, the powers that only a father would have, he knew I loved Eugene. I wanted to know how he knew, but then again I would never cross paths with my father.

"I don't remember when it was, to be honest," I confessed back to him carefully, "But he was my best friend first. No matter how hard I tried to keep him away from me, thinking that he wouldn't take me in because of my Epilepsy and all of my baggage, he pulled me closer. But I do love him." As soon as I said it, I smiled. It felt odd to smile because it too was a long time since I smiled then. My father was still smiling at me, which was making me feel all warm inside because I have missed his smiles.

"Joe told me about him." He stated, having me look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"When?" I asked.

"Once, a few days ago when you were out with Delilah and Elizabeth at the bookstore. He and I were talking about the men in your company and he brought up Eugene," He explained, shifting a bit on the bench and leaning back, like he was enjoying his day as a passerby, "He told me all he wanted to say before he left the rest for you to tell. However, he did tell me how Eugene did affect you as your friend in the company, and how you two fell in love. Now, at first I didn't believe it, since I knew you as someone who was so independent on herself and not wanting others to be a protector."

"I'm a tough nut to crack." I joked, hearing him chuckle.

"That is very much so. Even as a teenager you made your own mother mad with the countless times you refused dates because you saw them as meaningless. But with this Eugene fellow, you let him in. Why?" He asked, having me think for another moment. That was always the question that I had to ask myself, why did I let him in? I was fine, all my life, with fending for myself and for others, not letting people help me. Why was it different with Eugene? When did the shift and change begin?

"I think it's because he was willing to take in all the good and bad about myself. He saw my Epilepsy as something that was not a disease, nor as a wall that was holding me back from what I wanted. He was opposite from all the men I have been around, he wasn't loud or brash. Eugene was calming…sincere with me…and none the less a genuine friend to me." I explained with such sincerity to the tone. He father smiled, the sun rays seeping through the leaves above us in the trees to touch my skin and having me feel the warmth there and remind me that I was okay and lucky to be alive once again. Just telling my father this was a breath of fresh air, a weight released from my shoulder blades, and a new light behind my eyes that were plagued with darkness and pain. I felt my father place a hand on top of my own that were on my lap, his wrinkled hand on top of my battered ones that me feel peace.

"I hope he can come out here so I can meet him face to face." He said to me with hope in his tone of voice. I grinned back at him.

I hoped so too.

* * *

><p>" '<em>A person who pulls himself up from a low environment via the boot-strap route has two choices. Having risen above his environment, he can forget it; or, he can rise above it and never forget it and keep compassion in his heart for those has left behind him in the cruel up climb. The nurse had chosen the forgetting way.' "<em> Elizabeth read out loud from her own copy of _A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. _We were sitting together on her bed in her room, I was mostly listening to her and hearing her read out from the book as the sun was hovering over our house. Henry was playing the piano from the living room, the haunting melody was flowing through the house. Joe was with our dad that day at the barber shop since he was already too sick of being at the house. I didn't blame him, I was getting to that point too.

Elizabeth paused from her reading, when I was looking at her copy of another book she found in a bookstore the other day when we went together to both kill time and get my mind off the war.

"You okay, Jemmie?" She asked me, looking up at me from her spot on the bed.

"Sure, I'm good." I replied back to her, seeing him grin at me.

"If you want me to stop, then I can. I'm not as good at reading as you are…" She trailed off, but I grinned.

"You're doing just fine, trust me. I think you're a good reader." I reassured her in a loving tone, "And I am impressed with your library here." It was impressing to see, all of her books in mass piles around the room since both of her shelves were stacked with books and pressed in with no room to squeeze in one more book. It was looking more crowded than ever but in a nice way.

"Thank you, though mom and dad are a bit pissed about it since it was making the room more cluttered. I swear to you, I think mom tried to clean my room once or twice."

"Sounds like ma." I commented back in a giggle. I then heard the phone ring in the other room, someone walking on the hardwood floor and then answering it, "So tell me about this Oxford thing that you're considering doing."

"It's a new program at our school, we go to Oxford for the semester with the prestige literature program they have," Elizabeth explained with enthusiasm in her voice, "I get to go through all the classes there, a couple of seminars here and there, and then explore the city if I want to. They have a lot of literature classes there and I can choose which ones I wanna do."

"Sounds like a good plan for you." I replied back to her.

"I'm excited to go though I've never been away from home that long, or that far." Elizabeth said carefully and tentatively.

"It's a good thing to do, be away from home for awhile. Trust me, I think you should do it." I explained to her with my gentle smile on my face as I heard another set of footsteps coming over to the room we were at. We both looked, seeing it was Henry at the doorway, looking right at me.

"You have a phone call." He simply stated to me, though the look on his face was of a small amount of joy, almost like he was hiding a secret from me.

"Who is it?" I asked, now knowing who would want to call me really. But the look he was giving me was telling me that it was someone who was important, real important.

"It's…it's Eugene." As soon as he said it, I dropped the book I was holding and looked at him like I was in pure shock. Was this some kind of trick? The look on his face showed that he was telling the truth. After a sold second of being so still on the bed, I shot up from the bed and bolted out of the room. It must have looked silly on my part running for a phone call from a boy who stole my heart. Hell, I was 30 years old and I was acting like this. But when I picked up the phone, I heard nothing at first. It made me think that I was dreaming.

"Hello?" I asked tentatively, trying so hard not to cry at the mere thought of who was on the other line.

"Jemima?" His voice, the accent that haunting me over the past two weeks with dreams of peace and peace, was enough for me to place a hand over my mouth and sigh in relief. I leaned against the wall in the hallway, just hearing him call out my name so softly was enough for me to die happily.

"_Liebste_." I said with a whisper and a sigh of relief.

"It so good to hear your voice." He confessed to me on the other line, having me smile and clutch my chest.

"You have no idea." I replied back to him.

"I'm so sorry I didn't call you earlier, my ma was all over me when I got home and I had no time to make the call to you." He apologized to me in a pleading tone though I could hear it was about to break since he too was emotional just talking to me.

"It's okay." I replied in a breath into the phone. This was enough for me to get through the day, hearing his voice and knowing that he was just as satisfied to hearty own voice.

"Tell me what's been going on with you." Eugene urged me, having me close my eyes and feel one tear coming out of my eye. What was I going to tell him? How was he going to react since I was just diagnosed with PTSD and I was trying to just get out of bed with enough energy. Would be heartbroken? I didn't know what to tell him, how to tell him, or why I should tell him.

"Jemima?" He asked, nothing hearing anything from my end of the line. I sniffed, moving the tear away from with my thumb.

"I'm here." I said in a gasp.

"What's wrong? Tell me, love." he urged me again, his voice now had a hint of concern to it. I was willing to tell him then, since it as already and enough that we weren't physically together at that point. I smiled, my lips against the receiver and I took in a shaky breath.

"There's so much I have to tell you."


	44. Chapter 44

"What did the doctor say?" Eugene asked me as I was back in my own bed, talking to Eugene on the phone the same day that he called me for the first time. After I explained to him the basics of all that was going on in my own life and what was going on within my own mind that was a prison, I could feel a sense of normalcy coming back to me for the first time in what felt like years. The rest of my siblings gave me space, since I acted like a total girl and closed the door behind me with the phone in hand, now sitting Indian Style on my bed with the cord of the phone wrapped around my finger and my own heart was racing from just hearing his voice again.

"He thinks Joe and I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder," I explained to him calmly, though the thought was still a bit bitter on the tip of my tongue, "Apparently it's common for soldiers that come back from the war."

"I figured, that's what Babe has." Eugene explained to me on the phone as I looked out to see the sun slowly coming down from the sky, painting my room a shade of gold.

"You talked to Babe?" I asked.

"He wrote to me about five days ago. Apparently Bill Guarnene was going through it as soon as he came home after being hurt in Foye. Babe got in contact with him in Philadelphia and they talked about how he was doing recovery wise." Eugene informed me, having me cringe at the thought that both Babe and Guarnene suffering how Joe and I were suffering. Were they having nightmares too? Were the sounds that were haunting them making it hard for them to breathe like me?

"Have you heard from anyone else in Easy?" I asked him after a moment or two of silence on the phone and me drinking in the news of Babe and Wild Bill.

"Spina sent me a letter three days ago, he's doing okay," Eugene replied, "I wrote back to Luz and Shifty when I got the chance."

"I haven't written to anyone yet." I paused after I said that to him, thinking of how bad it was for the past weeks since I saw the men last. I had their addresses, I had their information and phone numbers, so why didn't I reach out to any of them? It was the mere concept that I was still suffering from what happened to me in the war, how I was still slowly dying from the inside out and I had no heart or energy to reach out to my brothers across the country. They would have wanted me to reach out to them and talk to them, I knew they would have wanted that for me. But why didn't I? What was holding me back from them?

"Well, that's okay," Eugene tried to reassure me though I was still feeling bitter about my own actions, "You were trying to get yourself back together."

"I should have written to them though, maybe even a phone call to Luz or Webster—" I was about to go off on another tangent against myself.

"Jemima, stop and take a deep breath," Eugene stopped me from my ramble with his soothing accent and the sound of his gentle tone that was floating into my ear, "It's not your fault you haven't reached out to anyone yet. I'm betting the rest of the Company is going through the same thing. We're all trying to get back to our normal lives."

"I guess," I agreed with him in almost a miserable tone, hearing him sigh on the other need. This was not how I wanted to have our conversation that day since this was the first time we spoke in two weeks.

"How's your brother doing?" Eugene asked me, almost changing the subject but not completely.

"He's just okay now, but he wasn't in the best shape when we got home. We still don't sleep in his own bed, he prefers the floor without a second thought to it," I explained to him calmly, thinking about my brother and how he was doing now with my dad back at the harder shop, "Joe likes to go on long walks. I think he wants to just think, you know?"

"That's good," Eugene urged in agreement, "Walking and thinking is good."

"It is, especially for him. He needs to think, I know he does." I added, placing some of my fingers against the quilt that was on my bed, "Although my mother has a heart attack whenever Joe goes on his walks, but it's better than him resorting to drinking." It was true, Joe hasn't touched an ounce of liquor sent we came home. Though that could be a problem since he could be sneaking away to drink without me knowing a bit of it.

"Yeah, that's what happened to Captain Nixon I'm bettin'." Eugene said back though I chuckled on the other line and had a side smile on my lips.

"Since when do you gossip?" I asked him coyly.

"That wasn't gossip!" Eugene countered with me though it was not in spite or anger but in lightness and a joking manner.

"I think it was, Eugene Roe. Never took you for one to have loose lips." I teased. He laughed on the other line. it was so light between us then, having me miss the both of us sitting together somewhere in the battlefield along a candlelight and just talking together about meaningless things.

"I've missed you too damn much." Eugene breathed into the receiver end on his side, having me close my eyes and sigh in agreement.

"Me too. Hell, I've been missing everyone in the Company, but you the most. Can't imagine why." I said in a sincere tone, smiling once I said and I placed my fingers on my hair to calm myself from going too crazy from hearing his voice.

"I think I know a place where we can live," He finally spoke up, his voice was a bit lighter with some enthusiasm behind it. I perked up a bit since it was a change in subject.

"Really?" I asked back with a smile on my lips.

"I know we talked about New Orleans and living there when we thought it was a good time, but I think I found another place here in Louisiana that could be good for us," Eugene said in enthusiasm now, almost like hope there in his tone that I would like what he told me.

"Where?" I asked him as I shifted a bit in my bed, not having a clue on where he would want to go to live.

"The Capitol here, called Baton Rouge," Eugene answered, "It's right on the bay and near the bayou area, I went there a bunch of times as a kid with my parents. It's not as big as new Orleans, but I think you would really like living there." I chuckled from my spot in the room.

"Sounds like a great place," I reassured him.

"Trust me, it is. You should come out here and I can show you around the place." He suggested to me though it made me pause from my fidgeting in the bed and realize what he said. It sounded so sweet to me, anything like that sounded sweet to me since I was still feeling like I was claustrophobic being in this house, and it's only been two weeks.

"I would love that," I said back, and I could only picture Eugene was smiling on the other end in Louisiana, "I'm already suffocating here at my house."

"You're telling me, I feel like my ma is always asking me if I'm hungry," Eugene joked, the both of us laughing softly in the conversation and on the subject matter.

"Right? My mom is trying to stuff cake down my through just to make it eat in front of me. I think he;s going to kill me one of these days." I explained in a chuckle.

"No kidding? I tried to eat gumbo for the first time when I came home, almost threw up at the table. My ma was livid, askin' what they were giving us for food." Eugene said back to me, I hugged my knees to me chest and I rested my chin on the tops of my kneecaps, tilted my head to the side as I had another question in my head to ask him since we started talking on the phone together that day, which was now going purple and blue with the moon coming out to touch the sky with grace and elegance.

"How are your nightmares?" I asked him carefully, hearing nothing on the other line for a moment or two before he finally answered me.

"They're pretty bad, Jemima," Eugene stated to me plainly, having me close my eyes in pain, "The one dream I have of me, covered in blood and I can't get it off my skin or off my face. No matter how hard I try, it's still there." I could picture it in my head, how he was explaining it to me. The constant pain of having blood on your clothes and skin and not able to get it off with any kind of force pressed there. If only I was there to bring him back to reality, bring him back to earth and no longer in they dream hell.

"Sometimes though, I remember what you told me," Eugene went on, having me open my eyes again and listen to what he was telling me, "You told me once to remember something positive to get the nightmares out of my head, and I've been able to do better with them." I smiled then, breathing out a sigh of relief against my knees when he explained how he was taking care of himself.

"What were you thinking about?" I asked curiously.

"You in the parade in Holland," I could feel the blush creeping into my cheeks when he stated that memory to me, "Kissing you for the first time in the library, seeing you with short hair for the first time after Joe cut it all off, holding you next to the lake in Austria on your birthday, and waking up next to you."

"Those are good memories," I said to him, something I told him once before when I told him to think of good memories. I remember those memories myself when he voiced them to me. I could see them in my head, the two of us holding hands in Holland throughout the parade and smiling at each other, our first kiss in the library and how soft and careful it was, the two do us swaying in each other's arms in Holland after he gave me a necklace as a birthday day, and all of those nights sharing a bed and waking up to each other's faces as the first thing we would see. I loved those memories, they are sacred and the purest ones that I wanted to remember, when the other ones I wanted to forget and erase. I had other memories though as well, which consisted of us reading together under a dim candle light, me sleeping on his shoulder and vice versa, and of course, those heated kisses that had us result to sleep together and being content with our love for one another.

"I should come out there and see you." Eugene voiced out, after what seemed like a long comfortable silence between the both of us. I paused on my bed, thinking that what he told me was some kind of trick and my mind was playing tricks on me.

"You want to?" I asked. My voice was a bit higher now in wonder and curiosity.

"I need a change of scenery, and I don't wanna keep trying to stay here when I know I can get better when I'm with you," Eugene explained to me, having me grin widely and nod my head though I knew he would seeing that.

"I would love that."

* * *

><p>I walked down to the kitchen after hanging up the phone with Eugene. He had to get back to helping his mother and father would some work around the house, though he promised he would call in another day or two. I told him to take his time, we weren't going to be <em>that <em>kind of couple that talked constantly on the phone. it would drive my mother up a tree if we were, not to mention the rest of my family. I was 30 years old, I had to act like an adult for once.

Joe was in the kitchen when I got there, sitting at the table with a coffee mug between his hands and he was staring at the mug. I thought it was having another restless night there, but from the looks on his face, he looked more content than he did in the past. I watched from the entryway to the kitchen, waiting for a moment or two when I noticed the small tug of a grin on his lips, like he was thinking of something that was soothing away the demons that once tortured him.

"Heya Joe." I greeted him casually, walking in finally after looking at him for a good ten seconds. He looked up at me, the bags under his eyes were slowly morphing away and he was slow lying getting color back on his face. Walking over I stood behind him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and leaning into his back and pressing a kiss to his brown hair. He leaned back to me, humming in content as he pressed his hands into mine that were wrapping against his upper chest.

"You still up?" He asked me though I grinned against his hair.

"It's only 9." I reminded him.

"Oh, it feels later." He explained in a softer tone, no longer grumpy to groggy.

"You went on another walk today?" I asked him, pulling away to get myself my own cup of coffee since he left a bit in the coffee maker. I poured my own cup when he answered.

"Yeah, went into this nice coffee place near Pier 39," Joe explained to me as I sat down across from him, seeing him sitting comfortably in his chair and leaning back a bit. He was no longer sitting in a chair like it was holding him there with wires and rope, now he looked like he wanted to sit, not like he was constrained.

"Looks like you had a real good walk since you're smiling like you met someone." I joked with him watching him as I took a drink. He said nothing, which made me realize that I was telling the truth then. I knew that smile, he always had that small tug of his lips from the corner of his mouth whenever he met a girl…and was interested in her.

"_heilige Scheiße_." (Holy shit.) I breathed out with wide eyes on him, seeing him still smiling and thinking to himself, "You did meet someone."

"How would you know?" He asked me with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Oh, come on, Joe. I'm your twin, I know how you smile! That smile plastered on your face is an 'I met a girl and I like her' smile." I stated to him in a hushed tone since I knew that our parents went to bed early, not wanting to wake them. Joe rolled his eyes, I knew he was trying to play it off with me. It was like we were teenagers again, teasing each other with kindness and cockiness at the same time.

"Tell me, who is she?" I asked him in enthusiasm. He finally looked at me with a hint of a glow about him, for the first time in weeks since we came off the boat, he looked genuinely happy again and he breathed out slowly before giving me the name of the girl who brought him some kind go happiness again.

"Peggy. Her name's Peggy."

* * *

><p>The next three weeks were consistently getting better for Joe and I. We were slowly coming back to the land of the living. I was still taking my medication for my seizures though they were still a regular basis kind of thing for me. Although they weren't serious enough for me to go to the hospital, just shakes here and there in my legs and hands, and most of them were of my going blank in my mind for a few seconds on end. It was nothing that I couldn't handle, though I wondered why I was getting so many seizures now compared to before when I was even in the war.<p>

Joe kept seeing this mysterious Peggy woman, getting coffee with her and the pair of them going on walks from time to time. Our parents wondered when Joe was going to introduce us to this woman who caught his heart and kept it, since it was clearly someone who was different compared to the other girls he has chased. With Peggy, he was more serious about her since she wasn't someone whom he was going to try and kiss and then run. He was looking forward to the coffee dates and the walks with her. It made me think, as I watched him practically skip out of the house and down the street to meet her, that this woman came into his life just to bring him back some peace again. I prayed that was the case. I wanted him to find that with a girl, almost like how I found it with Eugene.

Eugene and I would talk on the phone every other day, having me hear that he was in talks of getting a job at a contraction company and looking around for apartments in Baton Rouge just for the sake of moving out of his parents house. Those phone conversations with him were enough to get me though some days that were just unbearable with memories and flashes of death, and he told me the same for him since he was still trying to recover himself. Although we were so far away from each other, it was like we were next to each other when we talked on the phone. That was enough for me, for now. After we talked on the phone with that information, I pulled Joe aside after one of our family dinners and we both decided, we were going to move out too.

Joe was more set on it than I was.

A week later, Joe found an apartment on the other side of town near the bay and the fishing district, two bedrooms one bath and a small enough living room for the both of us. At first, our parents were reluctant to let us go, but we explained that we needed out own space for the time being since we both were thirty and our own space was needed for us to recover. My father agreed to it first, then our mother. Out siblings helps us move in and we were settled in out new place. It was mostly decorated with Joe's comic books in stacks, my own books on shelves all around the living room and my bedroom, old memorabilia that we brought home from the war, and knick-knack furniture that we would find on our walks. On our respected dressers were our medals, my medical armband and satchel hanging on the wall, our dog tags were on our nightstands or headboards, and we wore our Star of David pendants around our necks, though mine was now attached to Eugene's silver necklace chain that he got me.

I finally got time to get my old job back at the hospital, though they wanted me to have more of a low key job instead of the one I used to have that was consisting of running around and giving out orders. I knew that they did that because I was still trying to recover myself, so now I was just floating from place to place and getting some money in my pocket. Joe got work from driving cabs around the city, getting extra money in his pocket too and helping my father at the barber shop on the weekends when he wasn't with Peggy. When I had time on my hands, I wrote to all of the men I could in Easy. I got some letters back from Bull, Webster, Luz, Garcia, Nixon, Lipton, Major Winters, Talbert, Toye, Buck, and others. They were all glad to hear from me though they asked me to keep tabs on Joe as much as myself. I promised them that though Luz joked with me in his letter when the wedding for Eugene and I was going to be. I wished I was near him so I can flip him off, but that would be for another time.

Delilah's wedding was around the corner, and we were all pitching in help get it ready since she already waited long enough for both Joe and I to come home from the war. Henry was in charge of music, Elizabeth and our mother with the food, I volunteered my services with dealing with the church they were going to be married at, and Anthony's girlfriend was going to help with the flowers. The rest of the things needed for going to be taken care of my Delilah's in-laws, whom e met once or twice for dinner. A nice Jewish family with a loving son who was going to marry my younger sister. I liked the guy, nice and sweet enough for Delilah, not to mention just a beautiful in the face as she was. They were perfect, and the wedding was going to be too.

Two days before the wedding, I was back in my apartment on my day off as Joe was out driving cabs when I received a knock on the door. At the time I was writing another letter to Webster, telling me I had no idea when I was going to start writing my book, hearing the cars driving by the open window and the bay singing to me when I stopped to grab the door. It was only 11 in the morning, and I had no idea who was going to be at the door that time of day. It might have been someone involved with Delilah's wedding, so I figured I was going to have to help out another task. But it was when I opened the door that I was floored with what I was seeing. There, at my front doorway, a suitcase in hand and a small smile on his face, was Eugene Roe.

He himself looked like he went through hell and back with his own struggles and pains. I could see he got a bit skinnier since his face was looking a bit more hollow and his stance was a bit rigid. It was almost like he was barely trying to stand straight, maybe from sleepless nights and constant nagging of the war that we both went through. But his eyes were the same, the dark shade of blue and beautiful as they were when I saw them last in New Orleans at train station.

"Hi." I breathed out, no longer in pure shock from just seeing him there, but just glad that he was there. I think it was the phone calls that made this meeting less of a shock and more of a sigh of relief. He grinned at me, the warmth already soaring through me from just seeing his smile again.

"Hi, Jemmie." He said to me, having me suddenly grin so widely from hearing him use my nickname on me for the first time. This was no dream, this was real enough for me. I took a step forward, getting into his space and then wrapping my arms around him slowly, not wanting to rush it and ruin the moment. As soon as I touched him, the suitcase in his hand dropped to the floor and he hugged me close, breathing in my hair and having me sigh against his cheek. It was a heavenly moment, having me feeling him hold me again when I only dreamed it. He was here, in San Francisco, and holding me like he hasn't seen me in years. Has it been years? It's only been weeks, but it felt like a decade.

"I've missed you," I said to him softly as we pulled away and looked at each other. I could see the effects of nightmares on his face, but the thin lips he had and look of seriousness on his face remained the same since we left Europe. He grinned at me then, reached up to touch my hair that was now touching my shoulders again.

"I've missed you too," Eugene said back to me in almost a breath, "You're growing your hair out?"

"You hate it?" I asked suddenly, about to move my hair up to shove it behind my ears when Eugene stopped my actions with his one hand, having me suddenly freeze in front of him as he leaned into me and placed his lips against my own. I was no longer in pain, no longer in a haze of being lost and confused. He brought reality back to me form just one simple kiss, the boy fro Louisiana who stole my heart and made it better. Eugene pulled away, grinned at me from ear to ear.

"I love your hair." He said back, having me smile and then look down to see the suitcase he dropped to the floor when we hugged.

"You brought a suitcase?" I asked him with a hint of confusion in my voice, looking back at him and seeing him nod his head.

"I brought nice clothes for your sister's wedding, and I figured you can show me around San Francisco." He replied back with a shrug of his shoulders. I was beaming at that point, no longer confused and glad that he chose to come prepared.

"You came prepared for a wedding? Wow, you are quite bold, too bold for my liking." I teased, seeing him eye me.

"I blame you." he explained, having me give him one more light kiss on the lips before moving away from him.

"Come on, you can stay here with Joe and I," I said to him as he grabbed his back and I still held his hand in my own, leading him into the apartment and closing the door behind him. I watched Eugene look around at my new living area, seeing him drink it in and stay still, near the door and holding his suitcase still in his hand.

"You live here with Joe?" He asked me as I grabbed his suitcase from his hand, the both of us walking into the area some more and I nodded my head at him.

"I do. We both needed to get away from our mom and dad and he found this place. I like it." I explained to him as I got him to go over to the couch and sit down.

"And Joe won't mind if I stay here with you two?" Eugene asked though now his voice was a bit timider,

"He'll be fine with it, or I'll make it be fine with him since you're staying in my room." I responded back to him with a shrug of my own shoulders.

"I can take the couch," Eugene suggested.

"Nonsense, you're staying with me in my room. I don't want you on the couch." I argued with him, but I knew that Eugene was going to argue with me on this subject.

"Jemima, I don't want to overstep my place here since your brother may not like me staying with you…in your bed." He was tentative talking about it like it was taboo to mention it out loud. I just grinned at him, seeing him still look petrified.

"Eugene, he knows we're engaged," I said to him simply, seeing his eyes go wide and his sitting on the couch go a bit stiff. It was like I slapped him and he was in shock from what happened.

"Since when?" He asked, his voice going a bit higher now in shock.

"Before we got on the ship to come home, I told him, along with Malarky." I explained calmly.

"Malarky knows? How did that happen?"

"That was a slip up, but I told Joe flat out. You are going to be his brother-in-law, after all." I reminded him, seeing him take in a shaky breath before I grabbed his hand for support.

"Okay…Joe knows about us." Eugene stated to make sure he got it right.

"And he's okay with it. Hell, he already approves of you marrying me." I explained to him casually, seeing him nod in agreement and then give me confusing look.

"What about your mom and dad? Do they know?" He asked me.

"Only my siblings do, it's because they asked. My mom and dad never pressed me about it, but I'll tell them at the wedding." I reassured him, squeezing his hand and seeing him sigh in relief. I scooted closer to him to where our legs were touching, still in awe that he was in my apartment in San Francisco. I couldn't help but watch him from my own spot, seeing how he has both changed and stayed the same since we kissed goodbye on the train.

"Did you tell your mom and dad?" I asked him in wonder since we were talking about my family and their reactions, not his family. It was kind of selfish really, but I wanted to know how his own parents were feeling about it.

"I told them about you, how I wanted to marry you and all," Eugene explained calmly now, having me go wide eyes next to him. I knew this was going to happen, but it was still a bit much for me to drink in.

"They wanna meet you," Eugene said to me in a softer tone with a small smile on his lips, "All that I told them about you made them already like you."

"They like me?" I asked sheepishly, seeing him nod his head.

"Of course they do. And maybe, after your sister gets married, we can drive back to Louisiana. You and me, and I can introduced them to you." Eugene suggested to me in hesitance. I could feel my insides going read hot from the thought of meeting his mom and dad, from hearing all the stories about them and how they seemed to be so nice and peaceful.

"We'll go, you and me."

* * *

><p>I woke up in the dead of the night from another nightmare, but it wasn't as violent as the others were. This one was just for another battle and me almost dying, I was used to these nightmares. But it was when I woke up when I noticed something was wrong, very wrong. I didn't feel Eugene next to me, he was not in the bed. I looked behind me over my shoulder, seeing the blanket turned down and no Eugene there. Where was he?<p>

The sound of the bathroom sink was heard, and I peered into the hallway where the door to the bedroom was cracked up. A faint light was seen, someone was in the bathroom. I guessed it was Eugene since nowadays Joe was sleeping through most of the night without a problem. Slowly I got up, still wearing my shirt and boxers as I walked along the floor barefooted out into the hallway, peering out and seeing the bathroom door cracked open slightly.

I could hear the water running, and it was splashing around in there. So I walked over slowly, facing the door and placing my hand on the handle. Opening the door, I could see Eugene in the bathroom, hunched over the sink with running hot water and he was scrubbing his hands like his life depended on it. I said nothing, not wanting to startle him just yet because from what I was seeing, this was not normal. He was hunched over in determination, his fingers lapping over and over with each other and his fingernails scrubbing at the skin. Looking in the mirror in front of him, I could see the frustration on his face as I looked in horror. This was not normal, he was trying to wash something off his skin.

"Eugene?" I asked carefully, not seeing him move from his spot but still scrubbing his hand with the hot water and going at a fast rate.

"I need….I need to get it off of me. It won't come off." He said to me in a grunt, having me become confused as to what he meant.

"What won't come off?" I asked, not understanding for a solid second. But then it hit me, almost like a wrecking ball, it all came back to me. When we talked on the phone, he mentioned that he was imagining himself…covered in blood and it would never come off. It was his burden as a combat medic, always covered in someone else's blood and he would never be clean enough to live through the day. I heard another pair of footsteps behind me though I didn't move from looking at Eugene in both pain and sadness.

"What's going on?" Joe asked me first, then standing next to me and seeing Eugene there with the same look of pain on his own face.

"Doc? You okay pal?" He asked him carefully.

"He's having a nightmare," I explained to Joe in almost a broken tone a Eugene kept scrubbing away at his hands, which were turning pink from the vast amount to pressure from his fingernails.

"What?" Joe asked me in disbelief, but my eyes were only on Eugene.

"He thinks he covered in blood. He's hallucinating." I stated to him, then moving away from my brother over to the side where Eugene was. He was still trying to hard to get the blood off, but I knew that he was going to harm himself if he kept going. So I gently grabbed his hands, feeling him shake and blink a few times before I stroked his hands with my thumbs to calm him down.

"Let me help you, Eugene." I said to him calmly though I wanted to cry from seeing him suffer like this. He stayed still as I grabbed the soap bar from the counter and lather my hands with it, then rubbing his hands with my own and seeing him watch the actions with my eyes. I pained me to see him go through this, and think that he was by himself because of it. I just wanted to show him through my own actions that I was not there to bring him shame or pain, but to show him how to come back to reality safely.

"There, all done," I said back to him as I grabbed the hand towel and dried his hands, with him still not moving and being perfectly still in front of me. I smiled at him, getting his hands dry and then seeing him look over at me with the haze in his eyes. He was suffering like how we were, but his suffering was different.

"Let's go back to bed, _Liebste_." I urged him, grasping his hand in my own and the both of us moved out of the bathroom. He said nothing, still trying to snap back to reality as I looked over at Joe. He gave me a reassuring smile, seeing all that happened and knowing that I was going to go and take care of him. Joe was none the less supportive of how I was taking care of Eugene.

"It was all over me." Eugene mumbled to me as I got him back on the bed, getting the cover back over his waist and the pillow under his head.

"I know, my love." I agreed as I moved to lay down next to him, getting my own head on the pillow and then reach over his body to laced our fingers together. If this was me, I knew he would be doing the same thing with me. He would be washing my hands, taking me back to bed, and then just laying with me to show me that he was there as my support. So I pressed into him from behind, my nose into his black hair and breathing in his scent as he squeezed my hands tight against his belly,

"Try to get some sleep, Eugene," I reassured him soothingly as I placed a kiss on his neck, "I'll be right here when you wake up." Eugene breathed out easily then, getting warm under the covers and having me feel him shift in my arms.

"I love you." he breathed out in front of me, having me smile against his neck and we both started to fall asleep. This was the first time we have been together for weeks, and I could tell the horrors of our past were going to haunt us every day. I only wanted to help Eugene out more and more, to be his protector when he knows he's going to need one. I loved him too much to let him be haunted, and I knew it was vice versa.

"I love you too."


	45. Chapter 45

"Come on, Jemmie. Delilah is gonna kill us if we don't get there within five minutes!" Joe called out to me from the living took as he was Eugene were waiting for me. I grinned as I got the sleeve to my dress on over my shoulder. It was the day of the wedding, the perfect day for one since it was all held outside after the ceremony in the Synagogue. Everything was running smoothly for us and all I had to do was show up a bit early to get the bride ready since I was one of her bridesmaids. Joe was going to grab Peggy from her house on the way over, and we also had Eugene coming along as my date.

After his nightmare with the bathroom and the imaginary blood on his hands, Eugene was beyond tired the next day when we woke up. I didn't need to go into work until later that night for a night shift behind the desk, so the rest of the day of devoted to me showing Eugene around San Francisco since most of the wedding day preparations were all done and ready to go for the big day. First I took him over to my mother and father's house where we had breakfast and they met him for the first time. My mother was beyond sweet and loving on in, having him eat more than he could handle with the pancakes she piled in front of him. With my father, he was none the less kind to Eugene though Eugene was beyond scared to meet him and have his approval of him. My dad liked him though, giving me a thumbs up when Eugene wasn't looking, having me try to hold back a giggle that was threatening to escape my lips.

My parents adored him.

I took him to the Golden Gate Bridge, along the pier and the shops there, and ended our day date at Golden Gate Park, just walking around hand in hand. We would sneak in kisses here and there along our walks, and our hands never left the others hand. Eugene needed some fresh air, not to mention time to tell me about that nightmare that I saw him go through. He was reassuring me that it was fine though I could tell it was keeping him up at him when I knew he could be sleeping. But throughout the day we would just walk and talk about the positive memories that were still with us. It made me miss the other Company members, seeing their faces and hearing their voices. It made me wonder there was ever going to be a reunion anytime soon. Joe took Eugene out that night with Anthony and they went to one of Joe's favorite pubs, just talking together and having their own time of reminiscing of their own memories of the war.

"I'm gettin' my dress on!" I hollered back at Joe as I was looking back at the mirror in front of me to see what I was wearing. I was wearing a light blue dress, came to my feet with heels and my hair was back in loose curls.

"Jesus, how long does it take to put on a dress?" Joe grumbled from the other side of the door and Eugene laughing with him.

"You wanna see?" I asked him back in a bitter tone since I was getting clearly tired of him nagging me.

"Doc, go get her for me. Last time I walked in on her I got a shiner." Joe said to Eugene as I was still facing the door with the smile back on my face. It was true since I was 14 years old and trying to get a dress on for mass when Joe accidentally walked in on me. He did end up with a black eye, and I ended up grounded for a solid week though my brother complimented my right hook.

I didn't hear the door open softly, but I saw Eugene in the mirror looking right at me from his spot at the door. I didn't want to look, since I could see that he was wearing a nice white button down dress shirt, a black vest with a dark blue tie underneath, along with black slacks and the sleeves rolled up. He even combed his hair, though it was still nice and short with a nice shave to his face. God, he was handsome.

"Wow." Eugene choked out, not in pain or in sadness, but in shock. I looked over my shoulder at him, seeing him eyeing me up and down as I felt as though I was placed under the radar with him. I didn't know what to do or say to him, because the way he was looking at me felt like I was the luckiest in the world.

"You look beautiful." He said to me with a small smile, having me walk over to him and see his tie needed to be shifted. I worked on his tie though his eyes were staring right at me the whole time and not moving. I was still trying so hard not to blush in front of him, but how he was looking at me wanted me to just turn into a puddle. Damn him.

"You're not too bad looking yourself, Eugene." I said to him in a lighter manner though I was still blushing over the fact that he called me beautiful. Once I was finished with his tie, I saw him slowly reach up to take both of my hands in his and lace our fingers there between us, not saying anything for a moment or so before he gave me a small smile.

"Here." He said to me softly, still the both of us close enough to breathe each other in as he reached into his one pocket and the other hand was still holding my own hand. Once he pulled out his hand from the pocket, there was a small box there. For a quick moment, I couldn't breathe when he placed the box in my hand gently without saying another word for a moment.

"I told you I would get you a proper ring." He explained as I opened the box, seeing an engagement ring inside between the two pillows. It wasn't large, not big diamond there that other women would want to a ring. No, this one had just one diamond on the top, wrapped around in vines and was so old and vintage, beyond beautiful. I could tell this had a lot of history behind it, plenty of it how the shade of the metal there in the light.

"It was my grandmother's." Eugene explained as he took the ring out of the box and then took my left hand in his own while getting the box back in his pocket. He slid the ring on my left finger, having me watch the whole time and not say a word but still smile from seeing the official ring on my finger. It made it realer for me though I already knew in my own mind.

"Eugene, this is gorgeous," I said finally, after a moment or two of silence between us, having me look at the ring on my finger and feel now light it was. I have tried to think of happier memories than this, better memories with Eugene, but this was becoming one of the best ones we would ever share with each other.

"My ma wanted me to give it to you, and she's insisting on seeing it when we go back to see her and my dad," Eugene said to me as he wrapped both of his arms around my waist and pulled me close. I rested both of my hands on his upper chest as I tilted my head to the side, seeing the ring on my left hand and I couldn't get the grin off my face.

"It sounds like your mother already approves of us, yet she hasn't me yet. Now why do you think that is?" I asked coyly to him as I got my fingers near his neck and I could feel the heat from his skin almost touching my own as I did this. I could feel his fingers through the thin fabric of my dress and how it was making my head dizzy.

"I told her everything about you, so it doesn't surprise me that she already loves you." He said with a shrug of his shoulders. I chuckled, leaning in to kiss him for the first time that morning. He held the kiss as I wrapped a few fingers around his tie to keep him close as I planted a firmer kiss against his lips and he welcome it, pulling me a bit closer to him so we were chest to chest now. Once I was finished with the kiss that I gave him, I pulled away but only slightly to look right back into his dark blue eyes that seemed to be warmer and a bit dilated from the one kiss we shared.

"After this wedding, it'll be our wedding, deal?" I asked him in a hoarse manner since I was so winded from the kiss.

"I can accept that." He replied back in a breath and a grin back on his face. We were then interrupted, once again, by my brother.

"You two need to stop makin' out and get out here before ma blows a fuse!" He hollered at the both of us from the living, no longer being as patient as he was before. Eugene and I broke out into wicked grins and started to giggle in each others arms. I rested my head on his chest and he pulled me close into another hug, still giggling with each other and enjoying the light moment though my brother threatened to ruin it.

"Come on, before your brother kills us." Eugene urged me, pulling me out of the room with our joined hands and having me grin while I followed him. Life was sweet for the both of us.

Simple and sweet.

* * *

><p>The wedding was beyond beautiful for us to see, with the ceremony held in the synagogue and both of our families there, along with our friends and Deliah's friends there. I stood alongside Elizabeth and two of Delilah's friends as we watched her make her vows to her new husband in the gauntly beautiful Jewish Synagogue. She was beyond gorgeous as a bride, looking like a radiant woman in her white gown and her brown hair in loose curls half up and down with her bouquet in her hands and a love on her lips.<p>

I recall at one time throughout the ceremony, looking over at Eugene and seeing him grin at me from his spot next to Joe in the second row. Eugene was grinning right at me, giving me a wink as I did the same since no one was going to look at me at all. Joe had one hand over Peggy's shoulders, who was leaning into him a bit and was just as beautiful as I thought she would be. She had long dark hair, bright eyes and a pretty face, someone whom I knew would catch my brother's attention. Joe would look at her from time to time throughout the ceremony, having me see the hint of love there in his brown eyes and how his fingers were securely and gently wrapped around her shoulder to keep her close.

After the ceremony and the breaking of the glass, we moved the reception to our in-laws home about a 10 minute car drive away towards the Jewish Suburban area, since they had a huge backyard that was big enough for the party there. Everything went along perfectly, from the cutting of the cake that my mother made, to the toasting to the bride and groom, along with the band that Henry got together for the dancing and singing. Delilah and her new husband looked beyond happy, and I was happy for them. After we ate the dinner, I was sitting at one of the tables that was set up for the party when I could see my father and Eugene talking together, both smiling and seeming to like each other. I was about to wonder what he was doing when someone sat down at the table with me, having me look and see that it was none other than Peggy, in her cranberry red dress and her long hair up in a elegant bun but some of her strains down to frame her face.

"Hello Jemima, may I sit here for a moment?" she asked me, having me grin at her and nod my head.

"Please do. My fiancé is too occupied to tend to me, what a gentleman." I joked with her as she giggled from her spot next to me. I could see her reach down and look at her own heels though her face was looking a bit grimaced.

"These shoes are killing me." She grumbled though I could tell she didn't want to say it too loud since she didn't want to be rude. I grinned at her.

"Tell me about it. Come on, let's take off our shoes." I said in agreement but she froze as I leaned down to take off my own heels. She thought I was joking, but I was clearly was serious about taking off my own heels because I too was getting murdered in them. My feet were too used to boots now, no longer in heels.

"You serious?" She asked me, having me grin at her.

"Yes, it's totally fine, right Delilah?" I asked Delilah as I saw her walking by with her husband in hand and she saw the both of us looking at our heels in grimace and in pain.

"Take them off, I don't care at this point." she replied to the both of us, having me see Peggy smile finally and then take of their own heels slowly while I was trying to throwing off my own heels and I sighed in relief and in happiness.

"You're just like your brother, you know?" Peggy asked me with a grin as we were now sitting up again, barefooted, and having a relaxing moment between the both of us.

"I get that a lot, even while we were in the war together." I explained to her in a casual manner as I took a drink of wine from my own cup.

"He talks about you a lot, Jemima." Peggy informed me, having me pause in my drinking of the wine as I saw her then look over at Joe. Joe was talking to Eugene and my father with a small smile on his face while he was holding his own glass of wine in his hands.

"Does he?" I asked, seeing her look back at me with her smile still on her face, "I hope it's not embarrassing."

"Not at all," She immediately said, "I love what he says about you. What you two went through in the war, and how you stuck by him so many times." I grinned when she said this because it sounded so sincere and genuine from her. I was liking her more and more as we spoke from time to time. I was about to answer her back when I saw both Eugene and Joe walk over to the pair of us.

"There you are. Is she talking your ear off?" Joe joked with Peggy as he shoved his hands in his pants pockets. Eugene walked over to stand next to me, having me grab his hand within an instant.

"Be nice to your sister." Peggy advised him as she got up from her chair to face him.

"Yea ma'am." Joe breathed out, having me see Peggy grab his hand and the both of them went out on the dance floor when another upbeat song was being heard by Henry and his band. I grinned at the sight of the two of them dancing together, laughing at one another and not caring about the others around them. So I looked over at Eugene with a cocked eyebrow and I saw him grin down at me.

"What were you doing talking to my father and Joe? You in trouble?" I asked him casually as he pulled me up into his arms, shaking his head to my question.

"He said yes." I froze when he said that to me, not thinking of what to say with that news. What did he mean by that? What did that mean for us? What was he talking about? I wasn't saying anything at first, so Eugene saw this as a good opportunity to tell me more.

"He's fine with us, being married. Jemima, I have his blessing." Eugene explained to me though he too was on the verge of jumping for joy from telling me this. I smiled so brightly at him, pulling him into a hug and feeling him hug me back. I closed my eyes and fought back any tears that were threatening to come over me then. We were set to be married since my father was fine with the idea. In al the years of me thinking that I was never going to be married, growing old alone and surrounded by books, this was the sure thing that would make my life beyond happy and beyond worth loving for.

"We're gonna get married, you and me."

* * *

><p>"So this is Louisiana?" I asked Eugene as I peered out the window to the rolling scenery that was passing us by. I was in the car with Eugene, a week after the wedding, and we were heading to his parent's house and then Baton Rogue to find a place for the both of us to live. I was just glad to be on the road with Eugene, away from San Francisco with a new change of pace. The cool air of the South was coming through the windows of the car and making it more a relaxing ride. I loved what I was seeing so far since none of the areas were covered in buildings and bustling people. This was that change of pace that we needed.<p>

We pulled up to his family home in his car, having me see that small enough house that he grew up in and how it looked so quaint and adorable from my spot in the passenger seat. I grinned, getting out of the car and smoothing out my dress with my fingers as Eugene grabbed our suitcases from the trunk of the car.

"Come on," Eugene said to me, standing next to me as he was holding both of our cases in hand as I looked at me dress one more time. I was wearing a nice dark red dress that was cotton and I thought it would be nice for a first impression of his parents. Eugene sighed, giving me a kiss on the cheek before I looked over at him.

"You look lovely, they're gonna love you." He reassured me, having me nod my head and then look forward again at the house in front of me. He grew up in this house, played there as a child and walked to and from school from this yard. It suited him, sat least it did to me. How small it was, but how much character was behind it. We both walked together along the dirt path that lead to the porch of the front door of his home, the thick humid Louisiana air was surrounding us as we approached the front door. Eugene went first before he could even over the screen door it was open already by his mother.

She was shorter than him, but none the less beautiful. I could see where he got his hair from since hers was jet black and was in a bun that was low near her back and her bright green eyes were inviting for me to see. She seemed so young to be his mother, yet she looked like she lived beyond years and years. She grinned at her son.

"Come here," He said Eugene in such a soothing voice that was both laced with love and the Louisiana accent that it broke my heart when she hugged him as soon as he placed the suitcases down, "_Bienvenue à la maison_." (Welcome home.)

"Thanks, ma." He said back to her as he hugged her. But she then made eye contact with me, in which I was frozen and I had no idea what to do then. I just smiled at her, though I looked like a frightened child as she grinned at me after she pulled away from Eugene. She walked over to me, past her son and stood in front of me. Gently she placed her hands on my shoulders and I watched her grin at me.

"You must be Jemima," She said, having me say nothing but nod my head, "My goodness, you are far lovelier than my son said you were."

"Thank you, ma'am." I thanked her politely. Her grin grew then, her hands on my shoulders squeezed me a bit.

"Oh, and polite too! I think you're a keeper," She said in a joking tone, "Please call me _mère_ since you are going to be a part of his family very soon I take it." I grinned back at her then, seeing that she was already too kind to me and accepting of me. I loved her already, as my future mother-in-law.

"Come on, I have a bit pot of gumbo for the both of you since you must be famished from your drive. Mr. Roe will be home soon, and he's looking forward to meeting his soon to be daughter-in-law," she explained as she moved away, grabbing both of the suitcases before Eugene could stop her and she went back into the house. Eugene and I went in after her, having me feel a bit better about meeting one of my in-laws. It was going to be.

It had to be.

* * *

><p>"How are we gonna plan this wedding, Eugene?" I asked him as we were walking hand in hand along the streets of Baton Rogue. We already looked at houses that day, and after seeing a few, I realized that were going to have to plan a wedding and soon since we weren't really thinking of putting it off anymore. However, the both of us hardly had any money as it was, not to mention we were going to have to try and find a place to live here in Louisiana. It was giving me a headache to think about and I didn't want to dwell on it too much.<p>

"We don't need a big one." He reassured me as he kissed the side of my head when we continued our walk, "It can just be you and me if you want."

"I want my family there, and you family too," I countered back with him, "And what about Easy Company? God knows we miss them and they would be mad if we don't tell them."

"You got a point." Eugene agreed with a sigh.

"We can't have a big one like Delilah's wedding, we can't afford that." I explained.

"We won't. I think a small wedding is perfect for the both of us." Eugene agreed with me as we were now walking along a park where I could hear some families there playing on the grass and under the willow trees that were all over the city.

"If only we can just get it over it, you know? Just get everyone here in one place, go somewhere and get married." I mumbled, thinking of how silly it was to think about. It almost seemed impossible to think about, let alone make it happen. But Eugene stopped walking, having me walk ahead and I was held back by his hand interlocked with my own and I looked back at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" I asked him, not knowing what was going on with him. He looked at me with a small smile on his lips, he was thinking about something.

"Why don't we?" He asked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, not getting what he was talking about.

"Why don't we just get everyone here, and get married?" He asked me with a shrug of his shoulders. I laughed a bit at the thought, thinking he was joking with me about the whole thing and making me feel worse.

"I was joking." I reminded him.

"And I'm not." He replied back within a moment, walking over to me and standing close to me again as he was searching my eyes, "We call the Company, and they can come down here, along with your family, and we can get married here." I thought it was a crazy move. But to Eugene, it was enough for the both of us since he was in no mood to push this wedding back even more than we should. At this point, I didn't want to wait either.

So we didn't.

* * *

><p>Five days later I was walking down a small dirt path, my father on my arm and I was wearing a white sundress down the aisle we made that was leading me to Eugene, whom was dressed in his uniform with a pastor there and the large willow tree shadowing us. My hair was flowing down my back, Elizabeth did my makeup and Delilah helped with my dress. When I showed my family, my mother had silent tears, my father wept as he saw me, but my brother just hugged me and told me I was gorgeous. Elizabeth placed a flower in my hair where my bangs were pushed back with a pin, and I was ready to be a bride.<p>

Babe was Eugene's best man, along with Joe, Spina, Anthony and Henry as the Groomsman with Peggy and Elizabeth as my bridesmaids and Delilah as my maid of honor. My family was there, along with Eugene's mother and father and some of his extended family, with the rest of the guests being Easy Company members as we were married in the early afternoon under the Louisiana sun and surrounded by willow trees near the bayou.

As soon as we got home from that day in Baton Rogue, Eugene and I made all the phone calls to most of Easy. Babe was on board 100%, he even helped with the calls and was beyond happy to be the best man. After we called the boys, all who agreed to come out in a heartbeat, I called Joe and the rest of my family. They agreed to come out, no hesitance and Joe brought Peggy along since it was reaching that point where they were going to be inseparable. Fine by me.

The boys from Easy got into town two days before, all of us having a small reunion with each other in one of the local bars and catching up with one another. It was good to seem them all, including Toye and Guarnene who claimed he wouldn't miss me being married for the world. I was glad they came, it brought me peace again.

We got all we needed together within days, since it was a low key wedding we were only focused on where we were going to be married, what food we were going to have, and the reception party after. Eugene's father grabbed the pastor from their church and explained to him the situation, and he was beyond happy to marry the both of us in such a short time. Luckily, Eugene's mother was all about the food, Louisiana style, and the Easy Boys were going to take care of the drinks and the party afterwards as a present to the both of us. Eugene might have mentioned a local dance bar in town that we could use, and the boys were all over it by talking to the workers there to reserve the bar for us and us alone. Bless their hearts.

I never pictured myself walking down the aisle to be married at the age of 30, though I never imagined that I would be in a war in the first place as one of the first combat medics that was a woman. I only took a risk just to see if I was able to get past my Epilepsy, nothing more. But I got more than I bargained for when I laid eyes on Eugene Roe, whom took my hand gently in his when I met him at the end of the aisle and the pastor started to conduct the ceremony with the rest of the guests watching on with grins on their faces. Eugene was handsome in his uniform, almost being in tears himself as he saw me come down the aisle.

He was someone I never thought I would fall in love with, but it was the fact that he saw me as more than just another combat medic, as a dear friend, that drew me close to him and saw him as someone important in my life. We were such opposites, but we were fitting together nicely and holding tightly to what we had, never wanting to let go. I smiled at him throughout the ceremony, the both of us saying our "I Do's" and never loosing eye contact with one another.

I was glad I joined the war, I was glad that I almost died so many times. I was glad that I almost broken down and cried, and to think that it would be morbid for me to want to have those memories. It was because I had to know that it was real because Eugene was there through all those times of pain and woe and he tried to shield me and protect me from being completely broken. Only because Eugene and I fought to stay together throughout those times of woe and grief that we both experienced in foxholes and open plains of war. He loved me enough through my recklessness, I loved him enough through his protectiveness. There was no one else but him.

We kissed in the sun when the ceremony was finished, the kiss there felt like out first kiss. It sealed our fate, and we were husband and Wife.

Eugene and Jemima Liegbott Roe.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: When I wrote the wedding for Jemima and Eugene, I had the song <em>Lift Me by <em>Ane Brun and Sivert Hayem playing as inspiration! Listen to the song and see what I mean!**

**I hit 100 reviews, thank you all! It's a huge blessing beyond words that you guys are reading and enjoying my fiction! thank you all a million times! I have at least one more chapter in me before this story will come to an end, but I will write another Band of Brother's fanfiction...if you want!**

**Leave and review and thanks again for reading! **


	46. Chapter 46

Married life was something I had to get used to.

Eugene and I got an apartment in Baton Rogue, along the busy streets of the district and we were settling into our new life. I got a job within the city at the hospital as a nurse since that was the job that I had the most experience at. Eugene got a job with a construction company, getting plenty of jobs with the needs of building new houses and apartment complexes from families needing places to go and raise their children. Although I had to leave my old job and family behind in San Francisco, it wasn't too and since we had his mother and father in the same state if we needed help. They both helped us with the move into our apartment though it had simple trinkets here and there. I was loving my new life in Louisiana, getting used to the warm weather and the golden sun coming up and down along the waters of the bayou. It was pure heaven for me since it was quieter and less of a noise factor like San Francisco was all my life.

I even grabbed a typewriter and started to write down any of the memories from the war that I knew I needed to write down so I could remember. I took Webster's advice that he gave me in one of his letters that he sent to me since he too was writing down all that he went through in the war. At first, they were just pages and pages of the battles and what I saw, felt, tasted and experienced with my own eyes. But then it evolved from the battles, it morphed in the friendships of Easy and all of the adventures we went on together. For some reason, it flowed out of me like water like it was meant to be on paper and no longer plaguing my heart.

Our days were mostly the same, but it was peaceful for the both of us. We would wake up, make coffee and breakfast, I would kiss him goodbye as he would leave for his job, giving me an hour or two to write letters to the Company members along to my family, then I would go to work for at leaf 6 hours, come home to get some kind of dinner together, Eugene coming home and the both of us eating together, then spending the rest of the night together to talk about the day or read letters from the other Easy members who wrote back to us.

It wasn't always the same every night. He was teaching me how to cook, though I would burn some of the food at first and he would chuckle as he would try and let me do this on my own without his help. After I would get frustrated, he would then come in and help with ease. In return, I would broaden his reading horizons with new books that I would pick up from time to time from that bookstore, in which he took whole heartedly. Some of the nights we had together, we were acting like mere children together and just laughing together some me burning the chicken or him trying to pronounce something in German.

It was simple, and it was beautiful.

1 month after we were married, Eugene took me out on his grandfather's boat in Plaquemine like he promised, and took me through the bayou. Once we were in the heart of the bayou, I couldn't help but look around in wonder and in awe with the hanging willow trees that were touching the water, the humming of the wildlife within the nature hiding from our view, and seeing the rays of light touching the top of the water like a painting. I was quiet the whole time as Eugene was guiding the both of us through the mazes of the bayou, but a smile was never leaving my face, nor my eyes were never stop moving rapidly from one view to another. It was a beautify evening, seeing the sunset in the waters of Louisiana and then seeing the place lit up from both the moon and the fireflies that crept through he hanging limbs of the trees. We had dinner on the boat that night, the both of us just drinking in the fact that we were married to each other.

Eugene and I were still trying to get our lives back together. We were still suffering, though we prayed and hoped that it would not show when we would go out to dinner with friends we met at work, or with his parents when we would visit their house some weekends. Our nights were sometimes filled with haunted calls for a medic, vivid images of dead bodies and sounds of the gunshots that almost killed the both of us. My seizures got the best of me at time, and I blamed the PTSD for that. But my husband was none the less supportive throughout each spasm and zoning out episode that I had. Eugene would sometimes catch me in the living room early in the morning, wrapped in a blanket and tea in my hands, zoning out once again and trying so hard to breathe. I would also catch him gasping for the air when he would wake up from a nightmare next to me in our bed. It was like he was killed within his dream though I would comfort him in my arms and feel him calm down as I would hold him close. We both were still fighting for our sanity. Although we would go to Mass on Sundays and feel as though we lifted all of our sins to God, it still didn't feel enough for the both of us. But was it enough?

5 months later, 6 months after we were married, I was finding myself throwing up constantly in the morning and sometimes throughout the day. I couldn't eat any of the usual food that I would love to eat, which concerned both Eugene and I since he would make me a great dinner, and halfway through the meal I would run to the bathroom and vomit it all out. At first I tried to wave him off, though he would eventually get me into bed and having em try to sleep off whatever bug I had. I thought it would last about a day or so, but it was a solid week or two. It got to the point where I and to go see one of the doctors that I worked with at the hospital. After making an appointment with him, I had to think of any kind of reason that I would be getting sick in the morning or not being able to eat what I use to anymore. At first, nothing came to mind, but then it all made sense though I tried to hard not to come to that conclusion. That couldn't be it, could it? But, of course, after getting an examination from the doctor, it was real.

I was pregnant.

I remembered standing in front of the mirror at our apartment, an hour after I came home from my appointment, I just stared at my belly. Being 30 years old, almost 31, my chances of having children were very slim to none. But I was, in fact, pregnant, going to have a child and bring one into the world. It made me both scared and excited at the same time. At that moment, staring at my flat belly and placing my hands there, I was out of my own mind in surreal ness. How was I going to tell Eugene, let alone the rest of my family? Would they all be excited, why wouldn't they? So I took a deep breath, thinking that I would have to practice in order to make it sound more believable when I would tell Eugene when he got home. He knew I had a doctor's appointment though he was mad that he and work and was not able to accompany me there.

"I'm pregnant." I ghosted out from my lips, hearing how it sounded a bit desperate and not natural. I shook my head, shifting a bit in my stance in front of the mirror.

"I'm pregnant." I tried one more time, sounding bolder like I was making some kind of proclamation. It was no use, not in my mind as it was. I was trying to look at myself in the mirror and see my face, how I was reacting to the notion of being pregnant. But both times, it sounded more forced than anything, So I looked at my stomach one more time and I felt a small smile tug at my lips. There was a life there, underneath my skin and my fingers, and I was going to be a mother. Sure I thought of being a mother, and I loved the thought since I felt like one with Little Joseph in Germany. But this was going to be my own child, mine with Eugene. He was going to be a father, and I knew he was going to be a great one.

"I'm pregnant," I said out loud like it was a soothing tone, not thinking about it and just letting that piece of news sink into me as reality. I kept repeating in my head that it was going to be fine, that I should not panic telling my husband the news since it was Eugene of all people.

"You're what?"

I froze, my stance went stiff as I heard his voice behind me: Eugene. He walked in on me, dammit. I looked behind me slowly seeing him in his work clothes and his bag in his hand as he was watching me with shock in his eyes. It seemed at that moment, whether I liked it or not, Eugene was going to find out about his future as being a father. So I smiled at him, facing him completely and placing my own hands at my sides now.

"Eugene, I'm pregnant." I said to him calmly though on the inside I was screaming in joy. Eugene's smile slowly broke over his face, having me watch as he placed his bag on the bed without losing eye contact with me and walking over to me. He then pulled me into his arms, a hug that I would only feel from him every once in awhile that was raw and emotional. He wasn't crying, but how he was holding me as he was cradling the back of my head and his arm around me made me think that would break into tears at any moment. I hugged him back, the both of us saying nothing for a moment or two before I pulled back to see his face. He was still dumbstruck with the information I gave him, a small amount of tears behind his eyes as I framed his face in my hands to wipe the tears from falling on his pale cheeks.

"You sure?" He asked me sheepishly, my grin on my face getting bigger.

"Of course I'm sure. I promise this is real." I reminded mind with a smile as he placed one of his hands on my belly just to get some feeling there. He smiled against my fingers, the both of us kissing in our bedroom with the news of the both of us being parents.

* * *

><p>I went through the first couple of months of the pregnancy without a hitch or hiccup. We both called our parents and some of the Easy members as soon as we got the news. My parents were thrilled in getting their first grandchild, and his parents were over the moon with excitement. I had to call Joe, in which I told him he was going to be the best Uncle in the world and he almost had a heart attack. With the Easy men, they were all hooting and cheering of us over the phone, though I had to hold the phone a bit away from my ear after hearing the shouting from Luz on the other end from his home in Rhode Island.<p>

Eugene was already talking about getting a house for us since he had though an apartment was far too little for a growing family. I had to remind him that we were on a budget, and we could make room in our own apartment for the time being before we would find a permanent home. Neither one of us had a car since we both walked to work or took a bus, so we had money to save for. After reassuring him about the fact that we would have to have our child while we were at the apartment, we already tried to start making space for a crib. I thought Eugene was bad enough when it came to being a medic, he was now in full "future father" mode with me. Though he was good enough to me, taking care of the cravings I had which were of pickles and peanut butter, and he would rub my back when my belly was getting bigger.

By the time I was going into my 5th month of pregnancy, I could tell something was off with me. For one, I was bigger in the belly compared to the other pregnant women I have aided and helped as a nurse. Why I was bigger, I had no idea and it scared me a bit. So Eugene and I went to see my doctor though the news itself was far more than we bargained for. After I changed back into my regular dress, the doctor came in with my file and Eugene was standing right behind me, thinking of the worst.

"Well, it looks to be perfectly normal," the doctor explained with a grin on his face, "Both of the babies look to be just fine." You could hear a pin drop in the room since both Eugene and myself were floored and not saying a word for a solid minute. Did he just say what I thought it we would say?

"Both?" We both asked at the same time, almost in a shocked manner as both of our eyes were huge.

"Yes," The doctor answered with his grin still on his face, sitting across from us in his chair, "You're having twins." I was beyond floored, not being able to place word together to just create a sentence, but I think Eugene beat me to it as he placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it with me grasping the same hand.

"You're serious?" He asked him in disbelief though the shock was still there.

"Mr. Roe, I have been a doctor for about twenty years and I have helped deliver plenty of babies in my time. I can tell that it's twins, and it is. You shouldn't be surprised." He explained to him lightly as he opened my file in front of the both of us.

"What makes you say that?" I asked him, finally finding my voice.

"Well, you're a twin yourself. It's a hereditary gene to have, and if you're a twin, you're more likely to have twins since it can pass through the family." The doctor explained as I was still reeling over the thought of not just having one child, but two. I could feel myself shaking from the pure joy that was seeping through me.

"Now, I do want to keep an extra eye on you with your Epilepsy. There is no reason that it should affect your pregnancy with your children, but there could always be a risk. So I want you to be extra careful, and you are going to go on bed rest for 8 months, no questions asked." The doctor instructed me though I grimaced at the thought of being in a bed for a solid month before I could even give birth. That was going to be a pain in the ass, but it was worth it since now I was going to have twins.

Our apartment was going to be beyond cramped.

* * *

><p>"Well, Joe and Peggy took it well." I said to Eugene as I got myself back on the couch with him pulling me into his arms, my back against his chest and both our feet propped up on the coffee table. Eugene chuckled behind me as he rubbed my arms soothingly.<p>

"How well?" He asked optimism in his voice.

"He almost dropped the phone. That's enough for me to know that he approves of the news." I said back to him.

"And mom and dad?" He asked me.

"They're beyond excited. Though I had to tell my mother about a million times not to come out here and help." I grumbled to him though he kissed my hair.

"She's gonna worry, I know how your ma works." He advised me.

"Eh, your mother's more relaxed about the situation." I added.

"That is true. I think she's glad you're a twin because now she's having two grandkids to spoil into oblivion." He joked, the both of us chuckling at the thought. I grinned, leaning into Eugene some more and placing my hands on my swollen belly. I wish I could feel something at that moment to make sure that this was no dream.

"I can't believe we are going to have twins…and I should have seen this coming." I added the second part in some amusement.

"You never read up on that kind of stuff when you were a nurse, before the war?" Eugene asked in wonder though I shook my head.

"Not really, since I never had to help deliver babies," I answered him, "But still…twins? I mean, are we ready for two kids?"

"I think we are," Eugene simply answered, having me turn around and look at him with confusion in my eyes. He was taking this now real well, too well for me since I was so close to losing my mind in the whole thought process of carrying and having to give birth to two children instead of one.

"You serious?" I asked with a unamused tone. He grinned, nodding his head and showing no hesitancy there on his face.

"I've always known I wanted to have kids with you, but now we get to have two," Eugene explained calmly as he rang some of his fingers along my shoulders and into my growing hair, "And I know that the doctor even said that this was going to be challenging, but I think we can do it. We both survived a war as combat medics, this should be a cake walk." I grinned at how confident he was in the both of us. I leaned over to give him a sweet kiss, his hands on my shoulder freezing there as we kissed for a second or two.

"You're in the least bit worried?" I asked him in wonder.

"A bit, but I think every parent gets to be worried. My own mother was petrified when she was pregnant with me, but I think it's normal." He said to me, then giving me a worried stare as I was looking a bit hesitant in his arms on the couch, "Why? Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm worried," I said to him in a smaller tone, "Because what's going to happen to me….with the seizures. I don't want something to happen to me or the twins if I go into a seizure." It was something that was plaguing my mind since the doctor brought it up. Something _could _ happen to me, there was a risk there, of course. But the more I thought about, the bigger the risk was getting in my mind and my mind started to play tricks on me. Eugene just wrapped his arms around me pulling me close and kissing my head as his hands rested on my stomach and stayed there.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you," He reminded me boldly into my hair as he hugged me there on the couch, "To you or our children. You three are the best things in my life right now, and I'm not going to let anything take you away from me, okay?" He vowed to protect me, once again, from anything that would threaten our moment as a family. If I was my old self, I would refuse that protection and think I was strong enough to do this on my own. But not now, being his wife and carrying two kids that we already love beyond words, I had to be bale to rely on him.

"Okay."

* * *

><p>3 more months went by, and we were slowly getting our apartment ready for the arrival of our twins though my stomach was getting way too big and making it hard for me to help. Of course, one the first day of my 8 month of my pregnancy, I was sent home on maternity leave. It pained me not going to work since I enjoyed my nursing job there, but the staff there were none the less happy for me and supportive of my pregnancy. I had a job there waiting for me whenever I wanted to come back to work.<p>

Eugene still went to work, though he was more reluctant about leaving me alone in the house. But I got by, with books he would grab for me on the way home or when I would write some more at typewriter, and even writing more letters to the boys. I learned that Luz had a new girlfriend named Delvina, Bull was helping his father with a earth-moving business, Webster got a newspaper job and was writing for the New York Journal, Lipton went back to a happily married life with his wife, Welsch married Kitty, and other good news from the men. According to a letter I got from both Toye and Babe, hey were all wanting to have another reunion, but this time in New Orleans.

I was in tenfold.

"You sure you wanna go?" Eugene asked me as he was helping me into my jacket and I grinned from hearing the voice of concern in his tone. We were about to head out to New Orleans that day to see the rest of the Easy Company tomorrow for our reunion lunch. I was due within a week, and I promised the doctor that as soon as the reunion was over we would return straight home and I would be strapped to the bed without hesitation. We were going to leave early in the morning to take it to the town my nightfall and to our hotel that we were going to stay it in.

"Of course I wanna go. They all know I'm knocked up, so it's not gonna be a total shocker." I said to him as he eyed me when I faced him now, my stomach was big enough for me to placed both of my hands on the top and have them rest there.

"I just don't want you to overdue it." Eugene advised me carefully.

"I won't! I promise Eugene. If I get tired to moody, I'm gonna sit down and rest for as long as it takes." I reassured him, then feeling a swift and agile kick in my stomach from one of my children, having me place my hand there and then grin.

"Your child agrees with me." I joked with him with a grin though Eugene was still not amused.

"I'm serious, Jemima. If something does happen there, it's gonna be hell." He explained to me once again and I grabbed his hand to firmly hold it.

"Nothing will happen. This is just a get together with our old Company and before you know it, we'll be back here and everything will be okay." I reminded him, seeing him think about it for a moment or two before sighing, knowing that I won the argument. I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek though I had to maneuver my way around with my massive belly in the middle of the both of us.

"Come on, we're burning daylight." I said to him in a light tone as he rolled his eyes and I walked out the door in front of him, feeling the crisp air around us as he closed the door to lock it with his key. It was said and done.

We were on our way to our first reunion.

* * *

><p>"You're looking good, Jemmie." Babe said to me as we were standing at the bar and talking together while the rest of the men were scattered around with each other in deep conversations and catching up together. We all haven't been together since the wedding, but they all had so much to talk about and I was just confined to one spot in the restaurant. We reserved the back room all to Easy, and most of the men were just glad to able to get a drink in. Eugene was talking to Spina, Sisk and Toye outside on the balcony whereas the rest of us were inside with each other. Joe was talking to Guarnene, Johnny Martin, Bull, and Garcia. I was with Babe, Shifty Webster, and Luz. Once I was seen by the men, they all congratulated me and said I was looking good though I knew they were saying that to be on my good graces. It was good to see them again, including Nixon and Winters who gave me big hugs and bigger smiles.<p>

"Yeah, I thought you would be bigger." Luz joked with me.

"You better watch yourself, Luz. It's one thing to mess with me when I wasn't pregnant, but now that I am, I am a total bitch to deal with." I warned him but with a smirk on my lips and they were all chuckling along with the joke.

"I think you're glowing." Shifty said to me with his kindness in his face and tone.

"Aww. Thanks, Shifty." I thanked him planting a small kiss on his cheek.

"Hey, quit kissing other men that are not Doc!" Luz said to me as he was playfully shoving Shifty out of my reach.

"Don't be all protective over me now, Luz." I countered back with him rubbing my belly with one hand and the other on the glass of water I was drinking.

"Like he's never been before." Webster joked with me smoothly.

"I can help but act like an Uncle around you now, since you're carrying two kids instead of one. What are the odds?" He asked in an amused tone as he took a drink of his beer.

"They're in my favor since I'm a twin myself." I answered him though now I looked over at Joe and Guarnene and having me see that they were in some kind of argument. I watched with Babe next to me, the both of us looking grimaced as I felt something off in my stomach, something didn't feel right, almost like a tug within my stomach.

"I ain't gonna admit shit, Liegbott." Guarnrne warned him carefully as Joe was drilling his eyes into Bill's eyes.

"You know you pushed it with that slur that you used," Joe said aloud in a low tone, trying too hard not to yell at him as I gasped in confusion that I was feeling in my stomach. I grasped my stomach then, not knowing what I was feeling and how it was happening to me.

"Jemmie? You okay?" Babe asked me, seeing me both grab my belly and the bar in a death grip. I gulped, nodding my head since I didn't want to make a scene.

"Yeah, I just need a breather," I answered, though it felt like something else. Webster eyed me, not convinced, but I tried to put a brave smile on.

"It was true, you know! I wouldn't have followed him anywhere in the war if he was with us, and I don't care if I used that term on him because the guy is a dick!" Guarnene said in a heated manner, Garcia trying to push him back gently and Johnny grabbing Joe's jacket before he could even get closer to Bill.

"That term was thrown around a lot where I come from, and I hate hearing it! You use it like it's nothing, but it's a big deal where I come from." Joe said back to him in a bite as I felt the feeling again, and it was worse. I grunted in pain, almost wanting to buckle my legs as Babe wrapped an arm around my waist to hold me up. I closed my eyes, trying to breathe, but this could not happen, not now.

"Woah, easy there Jemmie. You look white as a sheet." Luz said in concern as he grabbed my hand on my stomach and Babe supported me in his arms. I squeezed Luz's hand and I breathed through my nose shallowly.

"Joe…" I trailed off, trying to get his attention.

"Take it back, that's all you gotta do before this gets ugly." Joe said to Bill and now most of the Company was watching in both grimace and annoyance. They were crowding the two as they were yelling at each other.

"Never, and I don't care if it gets your panties in a twist!" Bill yelled back.

"Joe!" I said louder now, but he was still listening and now Winters and Nixon were listening in on their argument.

"Come on guys, not right now." Bull advised them as he was trying to keep the fight under control, but they were all arguing with each other now and trying to get the two away from each other. At this point, I was panicking, since I knew what was coming and it was happening at the worst time ever. I then found my voice once more and it sounded like a booming of thunder.

"JOSEPH DANIEL LIEBGOTT!" I screamed out, no one moving or saying a word as they all looked at now. Not one sound was heard, all of their eyes were on me now as I was still being held up by Babe and Luz was still clutching my hand. I breathed out a shallow breath as Luz cocked a small grin.

"Damn, you had to use the full name on him?" He tried to joke with me, but I was still trying to breathe. Webster placed his hand on my head to fee how clammy I got.

"You don't look well," Webster said to me with worry when Shifty looked down next to me with a worried look on his face.

"What's that?" He pointed and asked, the rest of the men looking to where he was pointing with his finger. There, between my legs on the floor, was a pool of liquid. No one moved, but they were all looking at it in confusion now like it was some kind of a foreign object that they have never seen before.

"Did you piss yourself?" Bill asked in confusion, no longer angry with my brother but was now confused as to what it was.

"Umm…I don't think that's what it is." Lipton said in a low tone next to Nixon, who was looking at me with big eyes and I gulped. I didn't want him to say it, but it was on his lips as he took in another breath before speaking out again.

"I think…I think her water just broke."

They all slowly looked back at my eyes now, seeing how big they were and how pale I looked. Joe was the last to look, he face was petrified as I gave him a small smile. This was not how I planned it was going to go, but it was happening now and I had no way of stopping it. Luz, Shifty, and Webster moved away from me now from seeing the liquid and hearing the news, still not saying a word.

"What does that even mean?" Garcia asked in annoyance and in a confused manner since some of the men had no idea what was happening. I locked eyes with my brother, who was still looking back at me in shock.

"You ready to be an Uncle today, Joe?" I asked him in a shaky tone. Once again it was quiet, and all of the men in the room looked like they were both going to have a panic attack or puke at the same time. It all happened so quick, and yet I was the calm one.

"Holy shit," Luz said aloud with big eyes as he moved away from me over to Bull.

"What do we do?" Sisk asked in panic.

"You gonna have the babies here?!"

"No, idiot! That's stupid!" They were all talking at once as I was once again trying to breathe in and out. This was out of control since all of the men in the room were all acting like they were the ones who were about to give birth, asking each other questions and looking like they were going to pass out. This was not helping me as I was trying to stay calm and the rest of them were acting like chicken's heads cut off from their bodies. I wanted to yell again, but I was trying too hard to breathe and think of how this as happening and where I was going to go. Where was Eugene? Did he even see it happen?

"Everyone SHUT UP!" They all stopped in their talking to each other at a fast pace as I saw Nixon make his way over to me and place both of his hands on my calmly, looking at me dead in the eye as I felt my breathing becoming shallower by the minute.

"It's gonna be okay, we're gonna get you to the hospital, okay?" Nixon asked me calmly. I said nothing, but I nodded my head and he grinned at me. Nixon then faced the men, back in his Captain stance again.

"Okay, this is what's going to happen. We are going to get Jemmie safely to the hospital with Doc," he said to the men in such a way it was like we were back in the war again, "Luz, go get Doc. Joe, start the car for your sister and Doc," He looked over his shoulder and Babe who was still holding me against his body, "Babe, I want you to go find a phone and get in touch with the hospital. Let them know we're coming." Babe released me and I was standing alone once again as Luz moved to grab Eugene from outside and Joe bolted out of the room. My head was swimming as I felt another arm around my waist, having me notice that it was Spiers who swooped in to hold me up with a gentle smile on his lips and protective hold on me.

"I got ya, Jemmie." He reassured me with his smooth tone as Nixon looked back at me and grabbed one hand in his.

"You need to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth and don't stop breathing, okay?" He asked me calmly, his eyes were cool and he was so calm compared to the rest of the boys who were all rushing to grab their jackets and keys.

"You know what you're doing?" I asked him shakily, seeing him grin at me.

'Well, I did have a kid with my ex-wife, so I kinda know what to do." He explained in a joking manner, having me smile as I heard two pairs of feet running across the floor and the men moving out of the way. Eugene was bolting to me, his eyes were wide as he was seeing his wife in Spier's arms and about to go into labor. He reached me and analyzed me with his eyes before he spoke to me.

"What happened?" He asked me in a panicked manner.

"My water broke," I said to him calmly though I was freaking out inside. I smiled at him, seeing him grab my spare hand and squeezing it tight as the rest of the men were all ready to move in on his new mission. Was this a mission for us? It felt like it as I spoke back to Eugene once more. What a queer ad fascinating moment for this to happen, surrounded by our friends and

"Our babies are coming."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Epilogue is coming! Leave a review !<strong>


	47. Epilogue

**Eugene's POV:**

The next 7 hours were beyond words to describe, but my two children were worth every minute.

I was riding with Jemima in the back of Joe's car that he brought from California, me holding Jemima's hand and pushing her hair out of her eyes as she was trying to breathe and not kill us with her screaming that was coming out of her. Every time she screamed, it sounded like she was being stabbed over and over, and it was killing me that she was in pain. Easy Company was following behind us in their cars, almost making us look like a gang huddle together on the road and heading to the same place. Joe was driving in the front seat and Babe with him in the middle and Spiers in the passenger side. Joe was looking green, since his sister was about to give birth in the back of his car, and Spiers looked a bit concerned as he was shifting a bit to face us on the ride over to watch Jem and make sure she was okay. Babe, on the other hand, was trying to hard to not look back at Jem who was still breathing heavily and screaming right at his head.

"Jesus, Jemima. I'm glad I'm not a woman." Babe grumbled under his breath. I could see Jemima making a fist with her hand, wanting to so badly punch Babe in the back of his head from that remark. Thankfully, Joe got us to the hospital within 15 minutes and Jemima was rushed in with Easy Company right behind her. The poor nurse who saw us rushing into the lobby, one pregnant woman going into labor and a swarm of men behind her, all of them looking like they were the father and having concern in their eyes. I just smiled at her, explaining that they were family.

They were, after all.

As soon as she was placed in the delivery room, they told me to wait outside. I was beyond scared for her and our future children that I wanted to be in there with her and just hold her hand, yet they wouldn't let that happen. So I just watched the door close in front of me and stood in the hallway alone, watching the door and breathing out slowly before I heard footsteps coming over to me. Looking over with a heavy and mind reeling head, I could see both Joe and Luz walking over with her hands in their jacket pockets and looks of fear in their faces as they are watching me.

"She's in good hands, Doc." Luz reassured me as I then heard another piercing scream from the other side of the door, from my wife. I cringed, rubbing my eyes with my hands and wanting to just be in there. I felt so helpless then.

"Jesus," Joe grumbled then, placing a hand on my shoulder and tugging me along with him, "Come on, let's go sit with the fellas."

"I don't wanna leave her." I said to Joe in a muttering groan.

"They won't let ya in there until after your kids are here, okay? Now come on and sit. I think Jemmie would want you to be at least rested up when the kiddos are born." Joe reassured me as the three of us walked down the hallway.

"My dad was a wreck too, pacing up and down the hallway like he was a freaking druggie and wigging out." Luz tried to explain calmly though I saw Joe give him a hard glare.

"That ain't helping." He advised him carefully with a low tone.

"I'm just sayin', this is normal for every guy to go through before they become a dad, okay?" Luz asked me with a sincere smile. I just nodded my head, still trying to breathe as Joe lead me into the waiting room that was down the hall. As soon as we got into the room, I saw all of the Easy Company men that were at the reunion there, sitting in chairs and talking to each other in hushed whispers and then looking right at me to see how I was doing. I didn't see one ounce of anger in their faces, only love and support as some of them were giving me large smiles and others were just smirking. There was Bull, Christenson, Webster, Garcia, Talbert, O' Keefe, Spiers, Perconte, Bill and Toye, Shify, Sisk. Spina, Welsh, Popeye, Malarky, they were all there. Luz walked over to Buck and Babe, who were sitting on a couch with coffee in their hands when Winters and Nixon walked over to me.

"How are you doing, Eugene?" Winters asked me sincerely. I just nodded my head, taking out a shaky breath and not moving an inch or two from my place.

"You guys don't have to stay if you don't want to," I said to him, and a bit louder for the rest of the men to hear. No one moved from theirs spots though I thought some of them would want to go and head back to their homes since the reunion was now practically cut short from my wife going into labor.

"We ain't leaving, Doc." Guarnene said aloud to me in a soothing manner from his spot on the couch with his crutches in hand.

"It could be hours." I reminded him.

"She's one of us, so we stay until we know she's okay." Malarky explained to me calmly from his spot with Christenson and Perconte, and the rest of the men nodded in agreement. They still saw her as a part of this Company, not that they never have before. But even after the war, we were still going to have to do life together with all the things that were good and the things that were haunting. For me, it was special enough for me to hold onto as their medic since I was never one to hold a gun like they did or kill anyone like they did. They still saw me as one of their own, the same with Jemima. So I smiled at all of them though I didn't move as Joe looked over at me with a small smile on his own face.

"You want me to call your ma and pop?" He asked me, having me nod my head, "Okay, I'll ring them up and then call my mom and dad along with Peggy. She'll kill me if I don't tell her."

"I'll grab you some coffee," Nixon said to me as he moved out of the room, "You're gonna need it."

"Come on and sit with us Doc." Sisk said to me, having me watch as Joe went off to find a phone to call the parents and I walked over to him, sinking into the couch and rubbing my eyes again. I tried to breathe, even trying to pray to God that he would protect my wife and bring my childcare into the world without any pain or worry.

7 long hours of hell.

* * *

><p><strong>Jemima's POV:<strong>

My son and my daughter were born in the wee hours of the morning though I thought I lost every ounce of energy I had left in my body just giving birth to them. I thought the pain in Foye was bad, even some of the worst seizures in my life were up there when it came to pain. But this pain was far rawer and terrible to get through, and I wished and prayed for hours on end that it would just stop. However, when my son was the first one born, and I heard him cry for the first time and I saw him being swaddled in the blankets.

It was all worth it.

They both were beyond perfect to me, already sporting dark hair that I couldn't tell at first if it was black or brown because of how dark it was in contrast to their pale skin. But it was their eyes that made me want to be in pure tears because they both inherited their father's eyes. Blue that was enchanting and dark. When they called Eugene in after that got me taken care of and did the measurements for our son and daughter. I was already holding my son to my chest and he was fast asleep in his blanket when the nurse gave Eugene our daughter to hold. Just seeing Eugene's eyes watering and how he held her, he was falling in love with her all over again as he was looking at our child with adoration and pure devotion there.

Eugene and I sat side by side, with me on the bed and him in a chair, still holding our children in our arms and we had to think of names. We had no clue if we were going to have two boys, two girls, or one of each until I went into labor and they are born, so now we had to decide on what we wanted for names. We were already throwing names around here and there after we found out we were having twins.

So for our son, we named him Levi Adam Roe. For our daughter, we named her Molly Viola Roe. Levi's middle name was from the man I saved in the Landsburg concentration camp, and Molly's middle name from the little girl Eugene saved from the women's camp.

Once we got the paperwork done, we had some of the Easy Company members come in one at a time to see the twins. I never thought I would see these manly men becoming saps at the sight of newborn kids, especially Buck who held Molly like she was the most precious thing in his life. Babe and Luz were the Godfathers of both of the twins, and we told them the news when Babe was holding Levi and Luz was holding Molly. They were thrilled to say the least, and they swore they were going to spoil them rotten.

Some of the men needed help in holding babies since this was clearly a first for them. Poor Perconte thought he was going to drop Levi when he was handed to him by Christenson. I was glad we had Nixon and Lipton there, both whom were experienced in the field and they helped show the men how to hold an infant. After they all held both of them and gave both Eugene and myself the congratulations, they were kicked out of the room by the hospital employees. All that was left was Joe, whom already called both sets of grandparents and then Peggy with the news. He got to hold Molly and walk around with her as she was sleeping in his arms while Eugene was holding and admiring Levi, leaving me time to rest and watch as my husband and my brother were holding my kids with such love in their eyes.

"So does this mean I'm gonna get some nieces and nephews in return?" I asked Joe in a joking manner as he was cradling Molly close to his body, having me hear her gurgle against his chest as he gave a playful glare.

"I'll talk to Peggy." He replied, having me chuckle as he walked around the room some more with his niece. After he was there for another half an hour, he too was booted out of the room and he went back to the motel where some of the Easy men were staying at down the street. He promised he would come by in the morning though I could feel myself wanting to go to sleep from the 7 long hours of labor and pain. We got Molly and Levi in their beds and a cot in the room for Eugene to sleep in, and the fours us went off to sleep in the wee hours of the morning. My family that I once dreamed of for years, even after I met Eugene, was finally here and everything was right in the world.

Eugene and I took the twins home a day after they were born, and some of the men already left home but they wanted an update on the children as soon as we could tell them. Joe stayed with me for another day or so to help get us settled in, and Eugene's Parents drove down to see them both and held them for hours on end. When Eugene's mother was making dinner, having me confined to the couch with Molly, Eugene's father was holding Levi and was watching him with the loving gaze a grandfather would show. I was glad that the twins had one set of grandparents in the same state though we needed to have a plan to get them out to the West Coast to see my own family. But everything was perfect for the four of us in our cramped apartment in Baton Rogue.

Absolutely perfect.

* * *

><p>The next couple of years were the sweetest because we had two lives to take care of and see blossom in front of us. Right away I saw how Molly was more like her father, cautious and observant with a hint of passion behind her beautiful blue orbs and hints of brilliance under her black locks of hair that were thick and wavy. With Levi, sporting my dark down hair and his blue eyes being just a shade lighter than his sisters, had my personality of being reckless and adventurous, along with being bold in his speech and having warmth in his smile. They both had my nose, Eugene's cheeks, and were beyond beautiful to Eugene and I. I taught them to read and Eugene taught them to walk. Eugene showed Levi how to throw a baseball, and I taught Molly how to swing a bat.<p>

When the twins were 2 years old, Joe and Peggy finally got married in San Francisco, so Eugene and I made the trip out to see them get married. Some of the Easy Company members were there though others couldn't make it. But I did see Guarnene, Webster, Talbert, Sisk and both Nixon and Winters were in attendance. I was glad Joe got married, he looked so happy when Peggy walked down the aisle in her gown and my siblings with their own spouses or significant others looking on. Delilah already had two kids of her own at the time, and Anthony with his wife were expecting their first child within months. All the right in our world again.

After Molly and Levi turned 3, Eugene and I got enough money between the two of us and we got our one house that we would spend the rest of our lives in. It was goo enough house for the four of us to grow in, not too far from our workplaces and from the school we were going to send the twins to. We had a huge backyard for them to play in, a wrap around porch that Eugene and I would sit at during the sunsets and sometimes in the summer nights when it was too warm to be inside.

I remembered one night when my four-year-old Molly witnessed me with one of my seizures though I didn't know she was there watching me. I was sitting on the couch, reading a book with one hand and the other started to shake without me realizing it since I was so used to the spasms at that point. My mind wasn't on the words of the books, but on the past images of the war that I was never going to escape. But Molly, she watched from the kitchen walkway with her prying eyes and her head tilting to the side in wonder.

"Why is your hand shaking, momma?" She asked with her voice sounding a bit scared as I looked up and saw her watch my hand that stopped shaking against my leg. I cringed inwardly, not wanting to explain to her just yet why I would shake without any reason behind it. But she was watching, still by the entryway to the kitchen and I smiled at her. Placing the book on the couch I motioned for her to come over with my hand.

"My hand shakes…when I have a bad memory." I explained to her softly, seeing her long black hair that she refuses to cut cascade down her back as she wore her yellow dress that day. I scooped her in my arms, seeing her instantly play with the silver necklace around my neck, the same one her father gave me in Austria.

"Why do you have bad memories?" She asked me some more, having me grin and become thankful that she was a curious child.

"Because of what I did before you were born. I saw a lot of bad things, your papa and I did." I explained to her as she rested her head against my collarbone and touched my necklace with her tiny fingers in curiosity. When we were going to tell both her and her brother about the war, what we saw and heard, what we did in order to survive? When was the best time for such a story? It pained me to think about it.

"You need to do the trick," Molly said to me then, having me raise an eyebrow at the little girl in my arms in curiosity.

"What trick?" I asked her.

"The trick you taught Levi and I, when we have a bad dream. You tell us to think of something that makes us happy." She explained as she watched me with her big blue eyes. I remembered telling her father the exact same thing when we were in the war, when he was suffering from the false images of me dying in his nightmares over and over again. He needed to hear that trick, and I taught the same to our son and daughter. I grinned at her, kissing her head and feeling her snuggle into my arms around her.

"You and your brother are what I think of when I wanna be happy." I whispered into her hair.

"What about Papa?" She asked me. I smiled widely.

"Yes, your papa too."

* * *

><p>Eugene was an amazing father to both Molly and Levi. He was a sucker for Molly and how big her eyes were to him when she hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, holding her close and treating her like a queen when she was none the less gentle and kind. Levi gravitated to me more, though it never really pained Eugene since he was wrapped around Molly's finger with ease. I loved reading to them before they would go to bed, Eugene would love running around them in the backyard even after a long day at work on rooftops or on hot pavements. We would only use phrases in both French and German to the children, Eugene would sing to them sometimes in French if they got a nightmare in the middle of the night and sung them back to sleep, or I would talk to them in German if they ever got in trouble which was a rare commodity.<p>

Even beyond our parenting to the children, we were still loving each other and working through fights and arguments that would come up for time to time throughout the years. We were always best friends first before anything else, so we knew how the other worked when it came to emotion, stress, thoughts and so on. Our fights were never long, nor were they serious enough to break our family, we were still in love with each other and devoted to being parents and each other's spouses.

As the twins were growing up, we would go to San Francisco in the summer time on vacation, just to see my family there along with the growing family Joe and Peggy were creating. We would take them to the park where I grew up playing, seeing them chase the birds that were there or having me watch their dark hair being caught in the warm sun on their skin. Joe would take them swimming at the beach with Peggy and their own children. By the time the twins were 6, Joe and Peggy were with their third child and expecting a forth with their new house on the hill and Joe's job in the barber shop. I saw a pattern in how they were naming their children, all starting with the letter J. So far they had Jakub, Jennifer, Jonah, and they were thinking of naming their next girl after me, Jemima.

In the winter it was devoted to us being with Eugene's family, Christmas and New Years were held in their home. And even from time to time, we would get visits from the Easy Company members that were passing through Louisiana on a trip somewhere or if they were bored. Luz would come by in the wintertime with his wife Delvina and their sons Steve and George jr., and sometimes we would get a visit from Nixon from time to time. Babe would visit twice a year with his wife Dolores and daughter Patricia, our children loving him to pieces and he would play with them along with Eugene in the late hours of the morning. I loved living those childhood moments with my two children, and even though we never had any other kids beyond the twins, they were enough for Eugene and I.

Years came and went, visits to families were a normality and we were just living our lives for the best. As the children grew up into teenagers, we were content with where we were as a family. In the 1960's Easy Company mourned over the disappearance of Webster in the Pacific Ocean, celebrated with other Easy members who had their own children and grandchildren. Reunions came and went, and Shifty informed me that Webster wrote a book about his life in the war. I wrote some more as the twins are growing up to pass the time when I wasn't working or playing with them both, and I had enough technically to pass along as a book. Shifty wrote some stuff on his own, along with Winters and I decided to send it in and see if it was worth anyone reading it.

It was called _Easy Company's Jem: The First Female Combat Medic in Army History._

* * *

><p>We were getting older, slower in our minds and physical capabilities, though Molly and Levi were already old enough to go for to college on their own and become the young man and woman we knew they were going to be. Molly grew into a beautify young lady with a knack for medicine, like me. She was accepted into Medical school in New York, and Eugene would testify that she looked just like he when he met me at Camp Toccoa, but with jet black hair and stormy blue eyes. Levi was more prone to writing himself, and he went over to study journalism in California in Berkley. His wavy brown short hair and bright blue eyes made him handsome, and he was close enough my side of the family. At that point, he would visit Joe and Peggy and his eight cousins whose names all started with J.<p>

Eugene and I lived through the several decades ahead of us with just each other though we both were still working and making an honest living. I retired in the 1980's from nursing since I wasn't keeping up with the paces and Eugene retired right behind me. We were content with where we were in Louisiana, the slow moving atmosphere around us and the cool breeze that would come by here and there to remind us that we were still living. Though we were getting gray hair, wrinkles on our skin and our bones were getting frailer, we never stopped living since we never thought we would live past the war. Molly married a nice man from New York named Travis, and they had two little girls and two boys named Ava, Jane, Jackson and Eugene, after his grandfather. Levi married a young woman from the west coast that was in one of his classes named Sarah, and they had one boy named Dennis.

My book, already published, was getting some feedback from others who were in the war and they too wrote to me to get some insight from my own story. People were reading my story, along with Winters, Webster and Shifty with their own versions of what happened with Easy Company.

* * *

><p>As the decades came and went, more and more deaths of our Easy Company brothers were happening because of either old age, cancer or the wounds of war were finally catching up with them. Eugene and I attended all the funerals of our fallen brothers, other from the Company were in attendances. Even after 40 years, most of us never stopped writing to each other and visiting one another. Some of us never fell out of contact, willingly or unwillingly, or it was just life telling them to forget those they fought with. We were dwindling in our numbers with Easy, but those who remained alive and constant with each other were still meeting and talking on the phone with each other.<p>

Joe died on June 28th, 1992 in Los Angeles. I couldn't sleep or eat for days since the mere thought of my brother leaving this earth before me was bad enough to drink in and have as a reality. Eugene, myself, Molly and Levi attended the funeral in Los Angeles with my siblings and their families, along with a handful of Easy members who were still around and willing to come out. It pained me to attend the funeral of my own twin brother, in which Eugene held my hand the entire time when Winters spoke and gave a good speech about how good of a man Joe was. I believed him, and I prayed to God that Joe was there, safe and sound with the other fallen Easy members that we lost.

The worst was yet to come because Eugene too left this earth in 1998 from his battle with lung cancer. It was the worst December I have ever lived through, seeing my husband suffer in front of me because of a cancer that would not leave him. Molly and Levi came and stayed with me to help him through the pains and the therapy they were giving him to him more time. But it was no use, and he died peacefully in our home one afternoon in our bed. I mourned for days, thinking that this was worst pain I would have ever felt with my heart breaking over and over with the knowledge that he was gone for good. We kept our marriage for almost sixty years, keeping it pure and light and honest with one another. There was no one else but him, and I had to remind myself that I was going to see him again in the near future since I too was feeling the wear and tear of my age coming back to haunt me.

* * *

><p><strong>July, 1999<strong>

"Grandma? There's someone at the door for you." I looked up from my spot in my study, going through the old letters that I collected from the Easy members. My hair, now gray and long again, was dutch braided down past my shoulders and I was still skinny as can be with my pointed nose and bright brown eyes. I remember that day being a warm day in Baton Rogue, and Molly and her family were over to stay with me for a couple of days. I got up from my desk, grabbing my glasses in the process and going through the hallway with my pattering steps and slow motions. Molly was going through one of our old photo albums with Ava next to her as I walked behind him over to the front door where Jackson was at with my slow pace. Travis, my wonderful brother-in-law, was in a chair reading the paper and looked up to see me walking by myself. I wasn't unhealthy, still fit enough to go on long walks and stay in fit shape. But my age was getting the best of me.

"You need help, ma?" Travis asked me from his spot in the chair.

"No need, _cher. _I can handle whoever's here. If it's another Mormon trying to convert me, I can kick them out." I joked with my son-in-law, whom chuckled and I could see my daughter cracking a smile as she pointed to a picture with Ava watching.

"That's your grandma and grandpa, when they met during the war at a party they threw for her and her brother, my Uncle Joe." Molly explained to my granddaughter as I got to the front door. Jackson was still there, holding the door open and looking at me with curious eyes as I peppered out to see who it was. Two men were there, a dark car was in the driveway and I patted Jackson on the head.

"Go tend to you father and see if he needs helping reading, Lord knows he does." I teased him, seeing him giggle and scatter away as I looked at the two men in front of me on my porch.

"May I help you?" I asked them both politely.

"Yes, Ma'am. I'm here to talk to you about the book you wrote." The first name said aloud as he then pulled out my book from his bag, showing it to me as I walked out to stand in front of them on the pitch now and nod my head.

"I haven't seen that book in years," I commented to him, seeing a grin on his face.

"We read it, and we love it, ma'am, You see, I'm from Los Angeles, we both are, and we are trying to get in contact with those from Easy Company that are still alive." I looked at him in intrigue now that he brought up Easy Company.

"We want to produce a television series, a mini-series, on Easy Company and what happened to them in World War II. We just walked to Darrel Powers and he mentioned that you lived out here with your family." He explained some more to me with enthusiasm in his voice.

"Shifty said that?" I asked with a small smile on my lips.

"Yes he did ma'am. We were wondering if we could interview you for the series, and use your book as a reference." He asked me politely. I thought about it for a moment or two since I haven't mentioned for spoke about the war in years, even before Eugene died a year ago. It brought up both good and bad memories though the war was far long gone and away from me to be paged anymore. It made me miss Eugene though since it was the war that brought us together and had us stay together. I only smiled at the both of them, since they were waiting for some kind of answer from me.

"I would love to." I said to them both, seeing them look relieved from my approval.

"Wonderful. We can fly you out to Los Angeles and pay for the whole thing for you." He explained to me with enthusiasm.

"What a nice man you are, and your name is?" I asked him, holding out my hand for him to shake. He shook it gently.

"I'm Tom Hanks." He explained to me, having me smile at him and see the youth in his eyes and how he was excited about this project that he was working on.

"Very nice to meet you, Tom Hanks." I said to him.

"Nice to meet you as well, Jemima "Jem" Roe from Easy Company."

Even after 60 years, it still had a nice ring to it.

**The End.**

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><p><strong>Author's Note: And that is the end of this tale! Thanks for reading and leaving reviews! <strong>

**Keep an eye out for another Band of Brother's fiction that I am thinking of writing. I'll give you a hint: female assassin and sniper with Easy Company with a dark past and a bright future!**


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